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Not the poem I thought was the best poem ever

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I thought I'd written an amazing poem the other day whilst in a state of (to be expected in the circumstances) high anxiety. I'd dictated it, wrote it out on paper - thought it just needed smoothing out but it was absolutely awful when I typed it up and looked at it haha. This poem isn't it, it's a different poem and not the best poem but draws in what I can't actually capture. When staring into space feels incredibly important, yet actually all that happens is self torment and time wasting but you just can't skip it and need that stare into space time before starting your day.

I seek in silence with unfocused eye find whistles and pips and passage of time step off ledges into unbridled space no corners to turn, I face my own face liminal with a stripped bare mind no safety nets or friendly guides won't cover my back or stand on guard enter at own risk, no holds barred lost in thought, solace the goal risks are clear, I'm no friend of my own attacks just as likely as settled state in hostile territory, no benefit to equate is it empty, the space I pull threads will I unravel or reveal instead each just as likely as I enter the zone where I'm not quite gone, not quite home just like now, it's on the tip of my tongue all the things I'll never know trip along like chewed gristle I try to read like a book hang myself willingly right on the hook so the time slips away I spend in my head swap daylight, for lamplight, lamplight for dread equally likely to be soothed or destroyed as I willingly walk straight into the void I don't finish the poem or my spiel I'm so apologetic that I'm even real Just stare into space not pulling my weight just a half hatched plan with a misaligned fate

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Daisy Meadows

Date: 11/12/2024 3:58:00 AM

Enjoyed reading this. It is difficult to know what to write sometimes and then something suddenly appears. A good poem. Well done!

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/12/2024 4:01:00 AM

Thank you Daisy, I appreciate you stopping by

Paul Bell

Date: 11/11/2024 2:55:00 AM

Must admit, when I write something, I leave it a day and then go back to it. It's amazing how a poem looks 24 hours later. In saying that, many a time I've woken to find a scribble on a bit of paper that I've thought. That's bloody good, wonder who did it.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/11/2024 4:02:00 AM

Haha I'm the opposite if I don't post it everything I've written looks terrible. Although occasionally when someone comments on an old poem of mine and I re-read I think those are alright. 24 hours though and I'd definitely bin the lot. My scribbled ideas make me laugh - I'm convinced they are a stroke of genius and go back to find I've written something like 'light on curtains'. My poems have to be done and dusted in 25 minutes or I lose my connection with them. There's the odd exception but very rare. Thanks for dropping by :)

Victor Buhagiar

Date: 11/11/2024 1:19:00 AM

Don't read this poem if you think it's bad. You will lose a write of a high degree. Here is a masterful variation of writer's block, not the usual humdrum of poems I am getting fed up reading. Your poem is deep and full of rhetoric and metaphors. It is a pity I cannot emulate your great poetic verve.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/12/2024 4:00:00 AM

Sorry Victor, you never stated your comment required payment. Appreciating poetry doesn't have a reciprocal currency for me but I'm sure you'll find what you are looking for elsewhere.

Victor Buhagiar
Date: 11/12/2024 3:29:00 AM

I had high hopes you would comment on my poem. Alas it is not to be. I give up.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/11/2024 1:33:00 AM

What a great comment Victor, thank you! Writing the poem that isn't the one you feel stuck in your throat is a funny feeling. I was so sure the one I'd written was great (it was basically a few rhymes with the line "stare into space time" - not sure why I thought I was breaking new ground haha). I appreciate your vote of confidence, thanks again

David Kavanagh

Date: 11/10/2024 9:37:00 AM

You capture the evanescent moment quite eloquently Dilly, without actually capturing anything, except oxymoronically the reader’s imagination, love the pulling thread line which is indeed the essence of staring into space, we keep doing it hoping it will reveal or at least strip something bothersome away from us, as always on the cusp poetry, brilliant! Cheers David

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/10/2024 10:26:00 AM

I just couldn't get out the point I was trying to make with this one, so tried this whole fresh start but it's still elusive. Why I'm compelled to do it I don't know, it's completely unproductive (the act and the attempt at writing about it - haha maybe I'll try dance and a painting next - really drag this thought on like an actual weight round my neck). Thank you for taking the time to comment regardless of my poor mans Tenacious D impression - I appreciate it :)

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 11/10/2024 8:04:00 AM

I enjoyed reading your creative write. On the first write it can look absolutely awful but let it sit over night/sleep on it. The changes will come. I know you will have another masterpiece. Have a fun day/week writing away.............

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/10/2024 10:20:00 AM

Ahh I think a poem either works or it doesn't Paula, if I don't like it on the first read it's not likely to improve with age. I did love the concept of trying to describe the stare into space time, it just hadn't and has not still quite took off. Thanks for the encouragement x