Implosion

Inspired by Leon Spilliaert's– The Vertigo (The Staircase) sorry, I mistook the wind in my hair as a sign I existed tried to find myself there yet I feel dizzy I feel alone I fear I'll tumble hit stone after stone the air seems grey though night still follows day my steps seem to take me all the wrong way and you're all the safety from which I ran if I hit my head I want to hit it again no descent occurs I'm trapped in this spot blind determination is all I've got this moment bleeds through from black, grey to white I feel enclosed by darkness a distinct losing of light though I cast a shadow am visible from afar perhaps people look think "oh, there you are" and I just don't know that I'm thought about I'm stuck in my head cannot fight my way out I've got tired to the bone with sown thoughts overgrown where am I going why do I go someone take me in hand tell me what I need to know to settle right down and stop all of the fuss seeing circular steps suggest I was concussed and banging my head to undo all the knocks seems foolish now I think of the inordinate cost I'm back to square one regardless of pain I'll take that offer of rest to get the strength to do it all again