After the Storm

I'm now sat eating a Kit Kat All the waves were negotiated I am an idiot, but a resourceful one Anxiety is a ridiculous thing I feel so guilty when I find myself in a storm The storm is real, I go into a state of panic My self worth disappears Because I feel I could/should be fine Then I have to show up anyway I don't crumble, I figure it out My brain fires up, feedback is good Hopefully no one knows I felt like I was having a near death experience before the 'hello' No doubt I'm a factor in the storm I'm not kind to myself I can't understand how I'm tolerated That feeling of disgust at self has lingered I've not failed But I can't consolidate that with worth I feel I got lucky There's no way I can fully absorb positive feedback If I just switched off the anxiety Stopped extrapolating off the chart I can't even imagine that kind of existence Until next time