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To All Bad Spellers

Bad Speller He was never good at spelling, its effect on others was telling. And not for a deficiency of brains, much less memory, rather as a consequence of not knowing which consonants to link to proper vowels, which would have made spelling a cinch and provided an appreciation for proper pronounciation. Yes and no. For english is famously notorious for its inconsistent phonics resulting in odd sonics. (Frustrated foreign students trying to learn the rudiments of our english phonic system know first-hand the problem.) Take these words as samples: Pint/hint, show/how, tow/cow, tone/gone, curse/hearse, treat/great, problem/pablum, all/awl, ink/zinc, metal/mettle, able/Abel, herbs/birds, too/two, showers/trousers, born/gone. These words are but a few that drive english spellers to complain there ought to be a change in our orthography, whereby the vowel and consonant “ER”, “UR”, or “OR” is consistent with the “IR” sound in a word as common an easy as “bIRd.” Thus “herd” becomes “hird”, “herb” becomes “hirb”, “disturb” “distirb.” Or, take the contradiction in the double combination of the unequal sound of “OW” as in the word “know-how”? Which sound should prevail? If“kno”, then “know-how” becomes “kno-ho” whose meaning, as a consequence, is devoid of any sense. As for near rhymes of assanonace, these require extra diligence to acquire sight rhyme legitimacy, though diehard poets are a majority who prefer rhymes that match perfectly. Even the bard of Avon struggled with the phenomenon and frustrating anomaly of proper spelling accuracy, though his many spelling variants were later changed by pedants to prevent his reputation from any stain of imputation that despite his genius he was no spelling ignoramus.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

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Date: 7/26/2020 12:57:00 PM
Talk about diligence! Just figuring out this rhyming poem, and those vowel sounds is way beyond genius, Maurice.
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