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Originally published: 26th September 2019

Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

This poem was placed 1st = Brian Strand's "A STRAND (1050)"  Poetry Contest

What would Beatrix Potter make of Wordsworth's Lake District today?


 

She wondered if The only cloud Would rain on her approach When all at once She saw a crowd Alighting from a coach. She walked by lakes And under trees Observing Hill Top signs While at the toilets People queued In never-ending lines. Her pensive mind Was drawn towards The golden vale and hills But tossed those plans In favour of The sound of ringing tills. She gazed - and gazed At all the wealth And held back several tears As tourists bought Her whole life's work And other souvenirs. She weaved among A jocund crowd Of selfies, Tales and food Then waved goodbye To vacant minds To seek out solitude. With failing sight She took her place Among the shining stars And watched the coach Pull slowly out Behind ten thousand cars.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019




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Date: 1/14/2022 2:56:00 AM
This is a fantastic critique of the world today. Very clever and beautifully written.
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Gary Radice
Date: 1/14/2022 4:07:00 AM
Craig, thanks so much for your comments. They are appreciated. Cheers - Gary
Date: 1/13/2022 1:47:00 PM
Congratulations on your win. The depth of your creative poem from Beatrix Potters lament of peace and contentment to her peaceful place within the stars…..breathtaking! :)Paulette
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Gary Radice
Date: 1/14/2022 4:06:00 AM
Thank you Paulette. As much as we absolutely love walking in The Lakes I'm sure Beatrix Potter would shudder at some of the commercialization of the place - and her. Thanks for reading. Cheers - Gary
Date: 1/13/2022 11:12:00 AM
I love this Gary - your poem told from Beatrix' vantage point! In its simplicity of stanza's - each line rich with images - you step into her shoes. There is a sense of mourning here and a desire to return to the simple beauty of the Lakes District that inspired her wonderful stories and illustrations. Congratulations on your win! So happy to see it on the winners list. Happy New Year. Sending you joy for each day.
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Gary Radice
Date: 1/13/2022 11:28:00 AM
Thank you Sam. Since childhood I have been a great admirer of her stories, illustrations and her work as a natural scientist and conservationist. I remember when I wrote this that I had great difficulty synching Beatrix Potter and Wordsworth's Daffodils with 'the host' for my poem - The modern day Lakes themselves. I'm so glad you like it Sam. I do too. :) Cheers - Gary
Date: 6/7/2021 4:37:00 PM
I enjoyed reading your poem, Gary! The rhyme and flow was excellent! Congrats on your win in Brian's contest! Blessings, Kim M
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Gary Radice
Date: 6/8/2021 8:02:00 AM
Kim, thanks so much. I used to love Beatrix Potter's books as a child so really wanted to bring her in to one of my poems. The English Lake District - that plays host to Ms Potter coming back to life for a day here - happens to be one of my favourite places in the UK to visit. Cheers - Gary
Date: 4/19/2020 9:35:00 PM
Congrats, Gary. Awesome poem.
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Gary Radice
Date: 5/11/2020 3:46:00 PM
Thank you for your valued comments Line!
Date: 1/8/2020 5:11:00 AM
I was looking for the poem you mentioned, in which you received a negative comment, but I stopped after reading this one because I felt goose bumps rising on my skin. Not often does that happen to me. Your ending is wonderful, but what I enjoyed most is the cadence of your lines. Nicely written, Gary.
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Gary Radice
Date: 1/8/2020 5:21:00 AM
Thank you Lin - I really appreciate your comments. It makes this hobby all the more worthwhile.
Date: 9/28/2019 3:41:00 AM
Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Welcome to Poetry Soup Gary. "She took her place Among the shining stars And watched the coach Pull slowly out Behind ten thousand cars." Wow!
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Gary Radice
Date: 9/28/2019 4:08:00 AM
Thank you Caren! 'Wow!' (You have me saying it now but about your own comments.) I was very keen to take the line in Wordsworth's 'Daffodils': "Ten thousand saw I at a glance" and twist it to refer to the modern day tourist traffic. Thanks again!
Date: 9/27/2019 1:53:00 PM
This is a wonderful modern day take on Wordsworth's 'Daffodils', Gary and so true of many quaint beauty spots which have been deluged by the tourist trade. I found it flowed along beautifully ( verse 9 last line being the only beat which stopped my rhythmic walk slightly!) I really enjoyed this clever write,Gary.Fave for me!
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Gary Radice
Date: 9/28/2019 3:54:00 AM
Thank you so much Wendy for your wonderful comments and excellent constructive criticism. I smiled when I read what you said about verse 9 as I had been toying with that last line for longer than it took to put the whole poem together! I'm going to revisit the line and that word "Tales" in particular, to see if I can improve the flow. Thanks again Wendy!