Refurbished Nursery Rhymes: Little Miss Muffett, don't mess with PMS
When a big hairy spider
Came and plopped down beside her
As Miss Muffett sat munchin'
A light, healthy luncheon,
She screamed, "Sir, naught could be ruder
Than an arachnid intruder!",
And proceeded to prove the mistake he had made.
'neath a teacup she trapped him,
With a teaspoon she tapped him,
And then lethally zapped him
With a snootful of Raid™.
You may ask why'd a maid
Go ballistic that way.
Well, that's something this nursery rhyme
Never would say.
As the tale I've revamped,
I'd opine she was "cramped"
And in no mood for sharing with strangers that day.
Or, more likely,
Although, this may sound quite absurd,
She'd not abide spider turds
In her curds and whey.
Copyright © Jim Slaughter | Year Posted 2018