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One Thermonuclear Weapon with No Theoretical Limit Oughta Do It

The History of Hellboy: The Writ Rewrit by an Unknown Wit With his Schwarzenegger strength, Hellboy possessed the trivial ability to hurl from a somewhat lengthy distance a heavy object, such as a flush toilet or a French bidet. As Born-Again Hellbent, however, he has acquired that which is known as "The Rational Brain"--inadvertently stumbling upon it in adding 1 + 1. Thus is he the only means to the end of all unimaginable pains on Earth presently being experienced by trillions of conscious, sentient beings; for Born-Again Hellbent with the Rational Brain now is able to toss a single nuclear bomb at the planet, one with the capacity to destroy Earth within three seconds, which, at this very moment, nuclear physicists proficient have constructed. As a marginal note, Mr. Hellbent has a particularly well developed right arm, often erroneously referred to as "The 'Hand' of Doom"--contextually the word "Doom" signifying essentially the subjective perspective of most Earthlings who imagine the brainless universe of mechanical processes desperately in need of the indefinite continuation of primates with the potential of providing it with either a lollipop or a band-aid--despite said continuation resulting in not only the present unendurable atrocities on Earth, but also the future seemingly endless horrors. *** Oh, Hellbent, help us humans stand upright-- We mortals born to e'er corrupt still be! Who long to graceful go into that night-- Here painlessly in seconds less than three! The beast and baby sleep without a tear-- Unknowing of the notions "life" and "death"! While youth's expense in but a waste of fear-- Nil value has to one pained infant's breath! From Omelas no Worthy walks away-- He stays to fight the Glibites and the Fools! She strives against the Faithful lead astray-- The "gods" whose "Might Makes Right!" ne'er Reason rules! No Soldier yields to Doom! No Hero bends! The Hellbent rightly armed all Horror ends! January 11, 2022 Sonnet (English) (Shakespearean)

Copyright © | Year Posted 2022




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