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Fancy Stress - Collaboration with the Awesome Jan Allison

Fancy Stress - Collaboration with the Awesome Jan Allison There’s a party tonight so I bouffe up my hair Pamper and powder my sweet derrière, Arrive at the door, all done up to impress..... Oh man, I forgot! Invite said “fancy dress”! Pete and Sue are here, seems their theme’s ‘Tarts and Vicars’, Sue’s skirt’s microscopic! Look at her tiny knickers! Pete’s in a nun’s habit; the image is scary, I’ve not seen a nun with a chin that’s THAT hairy! And there’s Spider-Man! (although I’m perfectly certain, His cape is made out of his living room curtain), His curve-hugging costume’s quite “cosy” in size, I think Spidey gobbled up too many flies! In the corner, a lady has come as Snow White, Gee, her bosoms are out there, her corset’s so tight, They look like two bald heads squeezed into a sack, Glad my hubby’s not here - he’d have a heart attack! In the hallway, a robot is looking well-oiled, Her costume’s made out of three rolls of tin foil, She looks more like a turkey at Christmas, so later, I really hope no one is tempted to baste her! By the buffet, Fred Flintstone is looking contrite, I think he and wife Wilma are having a fight, Behaving all “caveman” has got Fred in trouble - He showed his big man-club to poor Betty Rubble! There’s a massive man-baby dressed just in a nappy, The “milk” in his bottle has made him quite happy, He’s shaking his tooshie and sucking his dummy, And asking a lady, “can I call you Mummy?” On the sofa is Princess Fiona from Shrek, Blimey, Count Dracula’s nibbling her neck, I avert my eyes to avoid his rising passion, In walks his wife, and his face turns quite ashen. His irate wife’s dressed up as pop singer Cher, In her see through outfit she looks almost bare, Then she lays into Drac just like Rocky Balboa - She’s drunk as I skunk, I’m relieved I don’t know her! Suddenly, Batman bursts through the door, In his skintight costume - my jaw hits the floor! He’s so muscular - bulges in all the right places, If I play my cards right, could be me he embraces! Well sadly I haven’t a costume of course, Til I spot a young chappie dressed up as a horse, I leap on his back - I’m a great improviser - Strip off and shout “Hey I’m Lady Godiva!” Written in collaboration with the very hilarious Jan - March 2018

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018




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Date: 3/20/2018 6:19:00 PM
Absolutely brilliant Nina, congratulations to both you and Jan on POTD so well deserved. :))
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 3/21/2018 1:28:00 AM
Thanks so much Roy!
Date: 3/19/2018 3:07:00 PM
You and Jan are so hilarious. Love this, Nina!!
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 3/20/2018 1:38:00 PM
Thanks Andrea! Now, what next.... ;-)
Date: 3/18/2018 5:02:00 PM
nina - you and jan have outdone yourselves on this one! i recognize jan's humour (as she spells it) in the poem and i am delighted to discover that you can hold your own in that department. this is absolutely a treat to read...
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 3/18/2018 6:50:00 PM
I'd love to know which stanzas you think i wrote lol:-) soup mail me with your thoughts :-) hugs jan xx
Date: 3/18/2018 4:36:00 PM
Oh Nina at last I can fave this gem it was such fun writing it and I still have tears of laughter when I read it through. I may add audio to the poem I think it would be fun:-) I love the way out humourous ideas flow together so well To me its my fave poem of the year lol:-) hugs jan xx
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 3/20/2018 1:44:00 PM
Ooh thanks for faveing! And let me know if you post audio! That would be VERY brave! How about a YouTube video? :-O ;o)
Date: 3/18/2018 3:04:00 PM
Fabulous collaboration. I particularly love the combination of the last two stanzas. Priceless!! Bravo!!
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 3/18/2018 3:09:00 PM
Thank you Line! One of those last two is Jan’s and one’s mine but they went together really rather satisfyingly! x
Date: 3/18/2018 2:28:00 PM
- Love it :)
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 3/18/2018 2:42:00 PM
Thank you :-)
Date: 3/18/2018 2:11:00 PM
That is so silly! Made me laugh!
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 3/18/2018 2:42:00 PM
Thank you Jessica / I think Silly is definitely what we were aiming for! :-)