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This is, as indicated, the 2nd HALF of this poem. Due to Poetry Soup's file-size limitations, this piece had to be posted in 2 parts.
The 1st HALF can be accessed, of course, by going to - "Poems by Mark Stellinga" - on the Soup...sorry for the inconvenience...
“I’ve been very grateful. She’s only trying to help...and you’re without a doubt the weirdest creep I’ve ever seen!
Your smile’s a mess...your nose is huge...you can’t weigh ninety pounds...that dent is truly worrisome, and, Webtser…...chartreuse green?!?
“You’ll have to either dye your hair or shave your head,” she quipped...”and it might take a couple tries, but...Dad can fix that beak...
And prob’ly pound that dent out, too...then all you’ll need’s some teeth to get to where, if all goes well...you’ll sail through MY critique!
“Daddy did some work on me to get my face this nice...and I had oral surgery twice to get a smile like this,
But though I don’t - as Darla claimed - actually ‘hate your guts’...I honestly can’t imagine, Webster - giving YOU a kiss!”
Standing there, with mixed emotions, learning of the pathway to winning her affection, I devised myself a plan.
Just the same as Heathcliff did in Bronte’s “Wuthering Heights”...I strategized, by altering what she deemed an - icky man
Through honing all my weaknesses...addressing her complaints...then coming back a dashing stud...that I could win her heart.
The only snag in what I’d planned that I had not foreseen would come from my mistake to put --- ‘the horse - behind - the cart’!
While utilizing every means I could to change my looks to satisfy the only girl I knew I’d ever love,
The only living goddess I was sure I’d ever meet...the one recurring fantasy I’d long been dreaming of,
She...the same as Cathy had, when Heathcliff disappeared...took the hand of someone who was far from being pretty,
But loaded to the gills with money...rich as all get out...which I, of course - as Heathcliff had - perceived as downright -- poopy!
And...just like Heathcliff...so depressed - (despite my great improvements)...in my desperation...and entirely out of spite...
Thinking that by doing so, Buffy’s tears would fall for opting not to offer me a chance to make things right -
I decided, (foolishly - something that I’m good at), that it would make her sorry if I married her best friend!
Darla --- pleased with my - ‘new look’ - who had...along with Buffy...brought to my attention all the flaws I’d need to mend...
Answered my proposal with...“I s’pose it’s worth a try!”, and as I’ve far too often done, I leapt before I looked!
In my haste I’d not discovered Darla’s three main rules: She wasn’t into cleaning -laundering clothes - and - never cooked!
Buffy, meanwhile...who, of course, had sympathized with Darla, did her best to warnher that - despite my awesome looks -
Destiny would prove her right...that I was not for her, and...much the same as Gothic tales in nineteenth century books...
If, indeed, she married me, regardless my enhancements, nothing she could do or say would make the marriage work.
Darla actually told me once - just to tick me off - that Buffy’d told her, “Cute or not...he’s still a total jerk!”
But...as you know...we did get married, two long years ago, and, just as had been prophesied, it’s been a bumpy ride,
And...just the same as Cathy had...regretting her decision...succumbing to her broken heart, sadly...Buffy, died.
It’s pretty much a - “Deja vu” - from 1847, where two enamored carefree youngsters dreamed of years to come,
But sacrifices made - in vain - to codify their plight - had doomed a scorned and bitter man forever cold and numb.
Obviously, my ploy to make her pay for her indifference, as you’ve surely figured out, has clearly gone astray,
And Darla...just as mean as ever...treats me like a dog - and beats my like a dusty rug pret’ near every day!
BTW - My latest book of "verse", titled - "a Treasure Trove of Rhyme" - a giant 10 1/2" X 12" 1/2" Hardcover beast (4 1/2 lbs!!), is till available, and offers 167 poems and 35 illustrations!
It's available through either PayPal on my author's website, or by mailing us a check), and is a pretty much a cream of the crop collection up to as recently as 3 years ago. You can buy a copy today at: writerofbooks.com, or you can email me and Connie at: email@example.com for our address for mailing a check. It makes a fine gift for most any poetry fan -
PS: I've also posted a bunch of my pieces on YouTube - (search Mark Stellinga Poetry), and I now have a new set of 4 Audio-CDs of my verse listed on ebay under the same search term. Each CD has 62 select pieces, and runs a whopping 4 1/2 hours. Great for when driving or in flight. :-)
Copyright © Mark Stellinga | Year Posted 2021