Get Your Premium Membership

A Big Fat NA Morning

Well I wrote some lines, took a long, long time, Got the metre right, polished up my rhyme, Used some simile, used some metaphor, Used some words I’ve never seen before, Made the best damn poem I could make! On judgement day though, I awake To a big fat N/A morning! Bold descriptions, Fresh depictions, Rhythm flowing, Tension growing, Slick enjambment, Words like “lambent”! Tidied, centred Dated, entered... Big fat N/A morning! Was it too passé, was it too clichéd, Was it just too dark, was it slightly staid? Shoulda made some threats, shoulda bribed the host, Shoulda poisoned those who win the most, And told the judge “‘twas for contest’s sake!” For jail is better than to wake To a big fat N/A morning! Wailing, gnashing, Glassware smashing, Pride in tatters, NOTHING MATTERS! Ego reeling, Snot congealing, Woe is me! This cannot be! It’s a big fat N/A morning! 1 January 2019

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 2/19/2019 12:48:00 PM
I feel your pain! I didn't know what to think when I saw that! I read this poem and laughed so hard that snot was congealing! Very descriptive and brilliant ideas for punishment! Thank you for bringing awareness to this horrible, poetry related, affliction. I think the n/a stands for, Nationally Acclaimed! Lol!
Login to Reply
Parmenter Avatar
Nina Parmenter
Date: 2/19/2019 1:06:00 PM
It’s a cross we bear (regularly) Sherilynn! No-one understands! (wail) (thrash) (sniff)! I like your idea of what N/A stands for... well nothing tells you what it stands for so why not!!
Date: 1/5/2019 12:46:00 PM
O Nina. Here's a big hug. We all get those mot disappointing mornings. A brilliant write.
Login to Reply
Date: 1/2/2019 9:21:00 AM
Ah! Mustn't take these slights personally. Or perhaps we shouldn't have 'great expectations.' Bah! I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. Death by guillotine is too light a punishment in such a case. LOL. This too will pass, ala Kurt Vonnegut... Well-penned, Nina! :) gw
Login to Reply
Date: 1/2/2019 1:17:00 AM
back to say that I looked up "lambent" thanks to you and I like the word very much. Should I manage to work it into a poem I will most assuredly give you credit :)
Login to Reply
Date: 1/1/2019 10:39:00 PM
Nina, I sure do know that feeling, been there did but this is a big fat FAV for me ~
Login to Reply
Date: 1/1/2019 5:58:00 PM
hahaha, snot congealing. You told it JUST like it feels, like a punch in the gut!! Love this. Let this be at least a FAVED afternoon!
Login to Reply
Date: 1/1/2019 5:17:00 PM
Poison is a tried and true method...I'd go with that lol
Login to Reply
Date: 1/1/2019 5:01:00 PM
You sum up nicely just how much an N/A can effect a poet that gives her/his all and comes up short. Believe me I know the feeling well...but I shrug it off and keep entering contest because they challenge my poetic skills and make me a better poet in the long run. Your talent shows itself in everything you write...even if sometime others are blinded by the flash of your light my friend, Emile.
Login to Reply
Date: 1/1/2019 4:45:00 PM
You are such a dear for writing this poem! There is a sensitive heart in every poet... a necessary liability, I guess. Loved this rant! :)
Login to Reply
Date: 1/1/2019 2:32:00 PM
WHEW! Nina, this is one of the BEST rants I've ever read. If I had a $10-dollar bill for every NA of mine, I'd be booking a cruise! Janice
Login to Reply
Date: 1/1/2019 2:31:00 PM
Bwahahaha! LOVE this!! Especially enjoyed the temper-tantrum at the very end! Brilliant and utterly hilarious.... ;D
Login to Reply
Parmenter Avatar
Nina Parmenter
Date: 1/5/2019 2:12:00 PM
Thank you very much Rhona! Bwahahaha and teehee indeed ;-)
Date: 1/1/2019 1:03:00 PM
It must be very rare for you to get an N/A since your prose is so sleek and always a joy to read, perhaps consider this an opportunity for growth!
Login to Reply
Parmenter Avatar
Nina Parmenter
Date: 1/1/2019 2:43:00 PM
That’s very nice of you to say Michelle, but I’m guessing like the vast majority of poets here it’s not rare at all. I have a much better hit rate than I used to, but I’m at about 50/50, which now moves me up into the “better than monkeys with typewriters” category! ;-)
Date: 1/1/2019 12:27:00 PM
Lol! Nina, I really enjoyed this funny poem. I thought to myself this is an "poetic" rant. I go more N/A s than I can count. It used to bother me but it doesn't bother me anymore. If I wrote what my muse compelled me to write, then I already won.Your are an amazing writer. Thanks for stopping by my page and leaving a great comment. Wishing you much love and happiness in 2019:-) Alexis
Login to Reply
Parmenter Avatar
Nina Parmenter
Date: 1/1/2019 2:39:00 PM
Thank you very much Alexis! Yes I’ve slowed down on the contests. I only now enter if I know I’m going to really enjoy writing the poem. That way, win or lose, I’m a winner! Cheesy but true lol!
Date: 1/1/2019 10:27:00 AM
Ha ha! This poem puts a lambent warmth in my heart. (I just had to look up that word and use it. :-) )
Login to Reply
Parmenter Avatar
Nina Parmenter
Date: 1/1/2019 2:45:00 PM
I’m not cheap mind! You’ll have to give me PLENTY of lambent warmth lol!
Morris Avatar
Ed Morris
Date: 1/1/2019 10:29:00 AM
Also, I'm going to consider getting a premium membership so I can sponsor my own contests now, now that I know you're considering bribes. :-)
Date: 1/1/2019 10:15:00 AM
So yours was the poem with lambent....hmmm very interesting. Funny one Nina, ya gotta take it with a grain of salt, as you know judging is very subjective, I lost track of my N/As. Enjoyed your funny rant, careful with the plates though! lol
Login to Reply
Parmenter Avatar
Nina Parmenter
Date: 1/1/2019 10:28:00 AM
What plates? I’ve none left lol! I’m pretty sure I’ve never used the word lambent by the way. I know that because I’m not entirely sure what it means! (Neither have I ever uttered the words “woe is me” - or poisoned a poet - well maybe one or two) Glad you enjoyed my diva strop though! :-)
Date: 1/1/2019 7:40:00 AM
You are hilarious my friend! Hilarious! One thing you forgot is - almost all of the poems are terrific, and it is so difficult to compare oranges to unicorns. Mood of the moment chooses. Right? Ha! Happy New Years Nina. I hope all is terrific for you!
Login to Reply
Parmenter Avatar
Nina Parmenter
Date: 1/1/2019 7:56:00 AM
Thank you Caren, you too! I know that all too well as I see it from both sides! I got a couple of N/As this morning (and have had a good clutch of them recently) so I was inspired to write something fun to remind us all not to take these things seriously... although I hope no one took THIS too seriously lol!
Date: 1/1/2019 6:37:00 AM
ha ha, if you've written it and you're happy with it then you're a winner or NAAT lol it's all subjective, tell yourself that when you're rejective, and they can go up the sun don't shine in all respective lol
Login to Reply
Parmenter Avatar
Nina Parmenter
Date: 1/1/2019 6:51:00 AM
Lol, always wandered what N/A was short for, didn’t realise it was “NAAT!” In real life I’m VERY level headed and only allow myself two plate smashes per N/A- that way I only have to replace one whole dinner service per week! ;-)