Bionic Betty: Another True Tale from the Mental Ward! - Just That Archaic Poet's Blog

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Bionic Betty: Another True Tale from the Mental Ward!


Blog Posted:1/28/2014 10:13:00 PM
Betty was bonafide crazy. She had shot her husband after a night of drunken quarreling, and was in the state mental hospital instead of being in the slammer. She'd shot the louse in the stomach and he had lived, fortunately for her. I never tired of hearing about Betty's attempted escape and eluding of the police in the aftermath. Over the river and through the woods she ran, but not to grandmother's house, sadly; she didn't know where she was going; all she knew was that she HAD to get the hell outta there.

Down a steep embankment she had tumbled, right next to the highway. As she attempted to orient herself, a car slowed down, its lights blinding her as she tried to pick off the brush, debris and twigs that clung like glue to her hair and muddy nightgown. The car stopped, two cops sprang forth and yelled, "FREEZE!". The jig being up, Betty did as instructed, was cuffed and read her Miranda rights. She never bothered to elaborate how she wound up in the loony bin instead of staying in the pokey, but I can only imagine it was due to her obvious derangement.

Betty was a hoot; funny as could be and an excellent card player. She had long, shaggy salt and pepper frizzy tresses that looked more like a Halloween wig than an actual coiffure. She was well into her fifties but seemed much older with her deep smoker's wrinkles and heavy, sunken eyes, like a soul that's known too much wear, tear, pain and heartache and aged prematurely. On more than one occasion I questioned her actual insanity, but on one night, when the moon was full and all the crazies were, admittedly, much more maniacal than normal, my doubts about Betty's "playing possum" dissolved. It's true, you know, what they say about a full moon and the impact it has over the mind; I've witnessed it first-hand too many times in different psych wards to discount it as "old-wives" folklore. Nurses never fail to mention when there is a full moon; they know it to be true as well.

I don't know what set her off. I was enjoying a game of rummy with Angela, a paranoid schizophrenic with a penchant for identifying supposed conspiracies within the hospital, when I heard Betty screaming furiously and cussing up a hurricane. Well, something didn't suit her, obviously, and she was having none of it. This is when I began to wonder if Betty was not part "Bionic Woman". Next thing I knew, she wailed like a banshee, took off sprinting down the hall at incredible, breakneck speed that defied her rather plump figure and stubby legs, and drop-kicked the heavy, locked steel door that barred the exit of ward "Grag". Nurses hit the panic button and made urgent phone calls which signaled the goons and heavy muscle to race toward our ward to subdue the unsubduable. Soon as Angela heard the nurses all in a frenzy, she yelled, "CONSPIRACY LEVEL UP! TOP FLOOR!" ("Top Floor" being the ward that housed the most violent or dangerous loons.) Paranoid schizophrenics are such a suspicious bunch!

As Betty raced by, Angela immediately stood up, cheering her along, chanting "GRAG STYLE, BABY; YEAH!". In total astonishment I watched this Wonder Woman drop-kick this barricade (which was most definitely designed to keep us confined) in total kung-fu, samurai, ninja style with such force that it burst wide open! Talk about jaw-dropped incredulous! By the time Betty the She-Hulk nearly drop-kicked her way to freedom, the goons (as the big orderlies were dubbed) descended upon her, but she fought with such ferocity that for just an instant I thought she might break free, given that she had picked up a nearby chair and was using it to fend them off with the skill of a lion-tamer (or so I mused). But poor Betty was helplessly and hopelessly outnumbered and the whole incident must have happened in the span of maybe two minutes, but time has a funny way of slowing down and stretching in instances such as these, when the eyes and mind are trying to comprehend the incomprehensible. She was tackled on all sides, but not before one of the stooges took a whack upside his empty head. Nurses rushed forth, syringes in hand, and gave Betty the usual knock-out serum of hefty doses of Haldol and Benadryl (don't ask me how I know this!). Then, as was the procedure in all such cases, Betty was strapped down on a gurney and wheeled away to the "Quiet Room" where she was to be closely monitored by some muscle.

As one of the orderlies passed, carting the drowsy Betty past us, Angela barked one of her customary insults of, "YOU SMELL LIKE ASS AND NACHOS!" which never failed to tickle me to no end. The excitement over, Angela and I went back to our game of rummy and she accused me of cheating when I won, flipped over the table, and stormed off (but she always did this whenever she lost.) Ah, Angela; what I'd give to play rummy with you again!

A few days later, after a two week stint, I was finally released and never saw or heard from Betty (or Angela) again. Whenever I see someone fly into a rage, I am often happily reminded of Betty, Super-Woman of ward "Grag". Why was I there? I'll never tell!
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  1. Date: 1/29/2014 4:08:00 PM
    Writers are driven to write because most of the time the spoken word is just not enough. I HATE talking on the phone, I want to add beats. Beats are the pauses in fiction which set mood, atmosphere, emotion, tone. They also slow down a story, make it "real time." And when done well, they ensure that there is no mistake in context, all is CRYSTAL clear. I want to say out loud, ridiculously, "I SAY, DISTRACTED BY THE NEWS ON THE TV. ODD, HE WASN'T GETTING THE HINT." or "Something softened in her, something that had been hard for far too long. Perhaps the softness had moved to her eyes because his gaze refused to leave hers. "Okay," she said. "I'll do it, but so help me. I hate you."

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    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 1/31/2014 10:18:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    <3 <3 <3 :)
  1. Date: 1/29/2014 11:46:00 AM
    I agree with Cyndi: this short story is perfect! ...and it's not the story itself but how you tell it. Keep writing (and start submitting), Archaic!

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    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 1/31/2014 10:17:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks, Ruben! :)
  1. Date: 1/29/2014 8:20:00 AM
    New-Dali, you really do need to turn this into a book. I'm serious. I never say this unless I mean it. This is art, pure art... heart, soul, GUTS, yeah lots of GUTS. No strutting. Just a chest opened up for the world to see. Poet? Yes, sure. Storyteller? MORE SO! How many you got? I will help you with a query. I mean it. I will help you with a query letter, help you find a publisher. SUBMIT SUBMIT.. as long as you have... say 25-30 of these stories, which can be only SLIGHTLY altered to be written first person present tense, (in the now) Date them like a journal... I know I know, you think, been done... Girl, Interrupted, One Flew over ... yada yada... BUT, this is fresh, touching, PERFECT!

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    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 1/29/2014 8:51:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I am working on another new memoir now. By the time I am finished, I should have a small collection of memoirs and will gladly take you up on your offer (Lord knows I need all the help I can get!) You've made my morning and I am beaming ear to ear. Thank you for cheering my Soul, as you have done so often recently <3 ~Chan
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 1/29/2014 8:49:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I writer can receive no higher praise, Miss Who, and I am both humbled and warmed by your words. I never fancied myself much of an oral story-teller, but I can pen my own experiences with ease. I'm not much good at fiction; memoirs are my strong suit, I think.
    MacMillan Avatar Cyndi MacMillan Date: 1/29/2014 8:21:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    LOL... or maybe you like the whole starving poet/artist thang. Money. Want some? LOL.

My Past Blog Posts

 
What's So Phunny?
Date Posted: 8/20/2014 12:32:00 PM
In Out Up Down
Date Posted: 8/20/2014 1:11:00 AM
Salutations, my dear friends!
Date Posted: 8/9/2014 12:51:00 PM
Trouble-Makers!
Date Posted: 3/26/2014 11:19:00 AM
Through the Looking Glass
Date Posted: 3/21/2014 2:00:00 PM
I'm Ready for My Close Up, Mr. DeMille!!!!!
Date Posted: 3/18/2014 5:22:00 PM
Artpocalypse PentaStar
Date Posted: 3/3/2014 1:28:00 PM
So Mad I Can't See Straight!!!!! : Seeing Stars
Date Posted: 2/20/2014 11:35:00 AM
Inappropriate Laughter: A Series of Short but Embarrassing Memoirs
Date Posted: 2/17/2014 4:22:00 PM
New/Old Collage Art Piece :)
Date Posted: 2/12/2014 12:39:00 AM
More Pentagram/Optical Art
Date Posted: 2/8/2014 4:20:00 AM
You Wanna Know Something that Gets on My Nerves?
Date Posted: 2/3/2014 12:30:00 PM
Bionic Betty: Another True Tale from the Mental Ward!
Date Posted: 1/28/2014 10:13:00 PM
Memoir: Crashing "Women's Studies"; Feminists, BEWARE! lol
Date Posted: 1/25/2014 1:42:00 PM
My Pentagram Art; let me know what you think! :) ~Chan
Date Posted: 1/16/2014 6:08:00 AM
THE KING AND MASTER OF POETRY!!!!! KNEEL!
Date Posted: 1/7/2014 12:20:00 PM
Click for a Surprise...!?
Date Posted: 12/31/2013 10:32:00 PM
Do We, As Artists, Have The Right to Change Our Work?
Date Posted: 12/23/2013 11:12:00 AM
Coming Clean
Date Posted: 12/17/2013 5:01:00 PM
Paper-Cup Porsche: Memoir from the Mental Ward
Date Posted: 12/3/2013 8:38:00 AM
Collage Art: Warning, May Be Offensive!
Date Posted: 12/1/2013 5:13:00 AM
More Visual Poetry: Collage Art
Date Posted: 11/25/2013 7:48:00 AM
IT'S A TRAP!!!!!
Date Posted: 11/20/2013 6:21:00 AM
UP IN SMOKE! VISUAL POETRY! IN YOUR FACE, BISHES!
Date Posted: 11/12/2013 5:14:00 AM
From Great Pain Comes Great Inspiration?
Date Posted: 11/5/2013 4:54:00 PM

My Recent Poems

Date PostedPoemTitleFormCategories
8/9/2014 Grey Area Rhymedark,truth,world,
8/9/2014 The Plot Thickens Rhymegod,judgement,life,truth,
8/9/2014 Glossophobic Light Poetryfear,world,
8/9/2014 Only God Knows and Time Will Tell Rhymechange,god,time,
4/3/2014 Anti-Psychotic Rhymepain,
3/22/2014 Science Friction Rhymespace,stars,
3/21/2014 An Exercise in Versatility Versepoetry,self,
3/19/2014 Pas de Deux Rhymelove,
3/18/2014 Do Not Read and Operate Heavy Machinery or Equipment Rhymedream,heart,poems,
3/6/2014 Inder the Unfluence Coupletdrink,humor,wine,
2/20/2014 Psychomanteum Rhymeheart,spiritual,
2/19/2014 Rosetta I do not know?confusion,nonsense,
2/19/2014 What's Weighing Heavy on My Heart Rhymelost love,
2/17/2014 She Sold Her Soul in a Bathroom Mirror Rhymeevil,satire,woman,
2/12/2014 The Last Son Rhymeart,truth,winter,
2/11/2014 What Gets On My Nerves Narrativeanger,angst,how i feel,
2/10/2014 Surgical Blue Free versehealth,me,satire,
2/8/2014 Restless Natives Sonnetboat,journey,ocean,
2/7/2014 Casting Couch Sonnetart,god,life,
2/5/2014 Hemlock Valentine Rhymedeath,fire,grave,heart,lo
2/4/2014 Veracious Vainglorious Vivacious Vixen: Very Virtuous, Very Vicious Rhymebeauty,woman,
2/1/2014 I'm Gonna Need a Transplant Rhymeabuse,addiction,drink,
1/31/2014 Assault and Pepper Rhymehow i feel,
1/28/2014 Bionic Betty: Another True Tale from the Mental Ward Narrativecrazy,woman,
1/26/2014 Nothing's New Rhymefun,morning,poems,sun,wom
1/25/2014 Memoir: Crashing Women's Studies- Feminists, BEWARE lol Narrativeart,funny,poetry,social,w
1/25/2014 Social Climber Rhymedeath,father,heaven,money
1/24/2014 Rubicons and Oubliettes Rhymeemotions,feelings,
1/23/2014 Water Brothers Rhymebeauty,brother,death,wate
1/7/2014 Poking the Beast Rhymeanger,fire,violence,
1/6/2014 Humble Pie, Anyone Prosehow i feel,introspection,
1/1/2014 Room Service Lyriclust,romance,sexy,
12/31/2013 One-Trick-Pony Rhyme 
12/18/2013 The Fool Rhymebaby,fun,horse,humorous,m
12/18/2013 Coming Clean Narrativeanger,conflict,introspect
12/17/2013 Perfectly Terrible Rhymeanger,beautiful,conflict,
12/3/2013 Paper-Cup Porsche: True Tale from the Mental Ward Narrativeblack african american,cr
12/3/2013 Gardens Grey Rhymebeauty,celebrity,characte
12/2/2013 Darth Exactitude Rhymecharacter,fantasy,star,wa
12/1/2013 All We Have is Hope Free versecancer,conflict,hope,how
11/28/2013 Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow Fonder Light Poetryheart,how i feel,lonely,l
11/28/2013 Twice the Christ Rhymechristian,death,god,humor
11/21/2013 I Think of You More Than You Think I Do Light Poetryheart,husband,i love you,
11/20/2013 Love is a Lie Rhymegod,heart,love,love hurts
11/11/2013 Have My Cake and Eat It, Too Rhymecrazy,future,self,vanity,
11/6/2013 Damage Control: An Apology Poem Rhymeheart,poets,sorry,
11/5/2013 From Great Pain Comes Great Inspiration Narrativeanger,bereavement,best fr
11/5/2013 Tug of War Rhymecrazy,pain,sorrow,war,
11/5/2013 Believe It or Not Rhymeanger,angst,god,lonely,lo
11/5/2013 As God As My Witness Rhymeconfusion,dream,joy,life,
11/4/2013 The Throne of Bone and Stone Rhymedream,sad,sin,sleep,world
11/3/2013 A Rational Explanation Rhymedeath,feelings,life,war,w
11/1/2013 Horrorscope Rhymechange,self,space,stars,
10/30/2013 Call Me Monday When I've Made My Millions Rhymedeath,heart,kiss,lost lov
10/29/2013 An Ounce of Pretention Rhymefuture,heart,
10/29/2013 Burning Man Rhymefire,grief,journey,sad,tr
10/28/2013 I'll Have Another, and Keep'em Comin' Rhymeangst,drink,heart,poets,s
10/28/2013 Glad-He-Ate-Her Rhymeanger,violence,war,
10/27/2013 Lazy Man Rhymelove,self,
10/27/2013 Escape Artist Rhymeheart,hope,lost love,poet
10/27/2013 Blackout Rhymedeath,faith,life,sorrow,w
10/26/2013 Around in Circles Rhymesleep,truth,
10/26/2013 A Journey Through Eternity Rhymeanger,future,happiness,ho
10/23/2013 Exercising My Demons Rhymeevil,heaven,religion,
10/23/2013 Knock, Knock Rhymecrazy,heart,self,song,sor
10/17/2013 Damn You, Eve Rhymedance,heaven,innocence,lo
10/17/2013 Romance the Chance Rhymebeauty,dance,hate,journey
10/17/2013 The One Least Likely Rhymeemotions,sorrow,
10/17/2013 Try as They Might Rhymeart,people,poems,poetry,p
10/15/2013 In the Meantime Rhymepain,
10/14/2013 It's Hard to be a Rhymer in a Free-Verse World Rhymeart,poetry,
10/14/2013 A God Among Men Rhymebody,heart,men,sky,
10/12/2013 You Love Me More Than You Love Yourself Light Poetrychildren,grave,love,my ch
10/12/2013 Spreading the Seed Rhymedesire,fun,lust,sexy,
10/12/2013 Burying the Hatchet Rhymegrief,pain,time,today,
10/11/2013 What Would You Take Contest Entry Narrativefriend,husband,lost,music
10/11/2013 Run for Your Lives--Them's Fightin' Words Rhymeconflict,fear,friend,pain
10/11/2013 I'll Drink to That Rhymeaddiction,drink,marriage,
10/10/2013 Angel in Your Eyes Contest Entry Rhymeangel,
10/10/2013 Why Can't I Be Young, Rich and Thin Narrativeart,beauty,desire,imagina
10/8/2013 Take Two and Call Me in the Morning Rhymeangst,sick,
10/7/2013 Twenty-Below Zero Rhymetime,trust,
10/5/2013 You and I and I and You Free verseanger,beautiful,corruptio
10/4/2013 Leave a Message After the Beep Free verseabsence,dark,death,drink,
10/3/2013 Delusions of Grandeur- Bon Voyage Rhymejourney,stars,time,world,
10/3/2013 The Verdict Is In Rhymeevil,time,violence,
10/3/2013 Alone with My Thoughts Rhymecolor,death,pain,truth,
10/2/2013 PHARM Fresh Rhymeaddiction,love,
9/29/2013 A Happy Ending Rhymehappiness,life,love,pain,
9/29/2013 No Assembly Required Light Poetrydeath,flying,travel,
9/29/2013 Come Out, Come Out- Wherever You Are Rhymelost,pain,peace,sleep,
9/26/2013 Playing with Fire Rhymeanger,fire,heart,violence
9/26/2013 Strange Bathfellows Rhymebooks,humorous,insect,
9/25/2013 I'll Gladly Pay You Tuesday Light Poetryfood,money,
9/25/2013 Meet Me Halfway Rhymelost love,violence,
9/25/2013 Thank You Lord, Amen Rhymeevil,god,sick,sorrow,time
9/25/2013 To Make Matters Worse Rhymedeath,dream,friend,love,s
9/24/2013 The Truth Isn't Always Kind Rhymelife,truth,
9/24/2013 Hammer to a Concrete Heart Rhymefear,heart,writing,
9/23/2013 Life is Sweet in Honey-Hives Rhymeflower,life,sweet,

My Photos


Fav Poems

PoemTitleFormCategories
The King of Sanctimonious Rhymehumorous,metaphor,
A Beautiful Love Free verselove,relationship,
Death Will Not Come For Me Rhymedeath,evil,life,magic,
Leonardo DiCaprio Rhymecelebrity,film,for him,ho
ALCOHOL Free verseaddiction,
Chaff vs Wheat - Relief Rhymeangst,goodbye,lost love,r
Fate's Occasion Iambic Pentameterbeautiful,beauty,emotions
Heaven For A Poet Rhymedream,fantasy,heaven,insp
Nevermore Rhymehorror,poetry,tribute,wri
The Dead Of Winter Quatraindark,death,lonely,winter,
Oh Love, Fair Love Rhymeloss,lost love,lovelife,l
William part 2 Balladeblack african american,gr
Bending Backward Ballad 
Popcorn Music Rhyme 
Rhyme Master Couplet 
The Horde's Prayer Verseangel,
Come Sit by My Side Tail-rhymefor her,marriage,moving o
Dreaming Couplethumor,humorous,poets,
Shocks Of Electrifying Emotion Rhymelove,romantic,
A Dedication To The Man Rhymededication,friendship,
SWITCH magazine Free versededication,hope,life,love
The Other Side Rhymeabsence,allegory,analogy,
DUFFY DEAN Rhymecat,
In Search Free versebeautiful,bible,god,
Pirates Cove Rhymefunny,humorous,poetry,sea

Fav Poets

PoetCountry 
Karen Anglesey United States Flag United States Read
Allan Koven United States Flag United States Read
Richard Lamoureux Canada Flag Canada Read
Danesh Morgan Singapore Flag Singapore Read
Kelly Deschler United States Flag United States Read
Mustapha Mohammed Trinidad and Tobago Flag Trinidad and Tobago Read
Joseph Matose Zimbabwe Flag Zimbabwe Read
James Marshall Goff United States Flag United States Read
Mark Peterson United States Flag United States Read
robin davis United States Flag United States Read
Laura Breidenthal United States Flag United States Read
Sophia Valentina United States Flag United States Read
Painted Hunter United States Flag United States Read
Rick Richardson United States Flag United States Read