THE KING AND MASTER OF POETRY!!!!! KNEEL! - Just That Archaic Poet's Blog

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Blog Posted:1/7/2014 12:20:00 PM

There seems to be a frightful bit of confusion running amok, and the air must be cleared. All of my subjects should know that I am the undisputed King, Lord and Master of Rhyme- of all words themselves. I am the greatest writer of this century and centuries past, and I fear that most people just are not aware of it yet. Such a pity. The purpose of this blog is to inform and educate all the infidels of my Poetic Prowess and Superiority. 

I invented rhyme. I invented poetry itself. Every word I ever utter is a melodious, mellifluous symphony of sound and harmony. Every word I type is as brilliant as starlight; every thought as brilliant as a diamond. My genius knows no bounds, and I feel compelled to tell the world just how wonderful and great I really am.

Shakespeare? HAH! A rank amateur! Poe? An drunken disappointment. Keats? Just another hack. Dickinson couldn't write her way out of a paper bag. They pale and jaundice in comparison to my Mastery of Words. Didn't you know that?

I am, without question, the best and greatest at what I do. No one can hold a candle to my flame of genius. Everyone needs to know- far and wide- sea to sea- that my boasts and poetic triumphs are true! Be it metrical, iambic, haiku, free-verse, senryu, ballad, clerihew- I am MASTERS of them all! I put my pen to paper and angels sing and weep.

I understand my path is fraught with petty jealousy and envy, and I understand 
your frustration and I empathize with all of you, wholeheartedly. But take heart, dear friends, and bask in my own poetic glory; perhaps, one day, it shall rub off on you and you might write, oh, a little something worthwhile...*yawn*

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Date: 1/8/2014 4:46:00 PM
Shooosh has anyone told him he has no pants on?
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 1/9/2014 2:28:00 AM
He's been running amok for ages now stark naked and totally oblivious, poor thing!
Date: 1/8/2014 10:51:00 AM
This blog is extremely entertaining! I am SO glad this character is fictional, because could you just imagine how annoying it would be to deal with such a pretentious egotist in reality. Yes, these types of characters are best kept in fictional realms for the overall sanity level of the kingdom.
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 1/9/2014 2:25:00 AM
I know, Chris; right? xD You're awesome, bud ;)
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Cyndi MacMillan
Date: 1/8/2014 9:55:00 PM
Nope. Masters. Servants. Still on topic.
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Cyndi MacMillan
Date: 1/8/2014 9:53:00 PM
Actually, this reminds me of one of my novels that is moldering in my files... an amateur detective series. She's a dominatrix named Vienna Laird (I'm NOT joking. Shocked, scared or titillated? Ha!) Wait, maybe I just went off topic.
Date: 1/8/2014 1:15:00 AM
oh my stars!.. aside from " acting" like the king of rhyme, you are the jester of the court as well, chan... you so wickedly funny!..:)
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 1/8/2014 7:40:00 AM
lol Thanks, Nette. I enjoy writing satire :)
Date: 1/7/2014 6:03:00 PM
Chan The "Big Headed" Man HHHHMMM So you are the King of Rhyme. Do you want to put that to a challenge. I will beat you anytime, anyplace. HEE HEE Or you can just make me the Queen of Rhyme and crown me. LOL Nice silly write my friend. Hugs and Love always Sweet "The Rhyming Queen" Pea
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 1/8/2014 7:41:00 AM
Thanks for reading and replying, Sweet Pea <3
Date: 1/7/2014 2:53:00 PM
verrrrry funny - right down to the yawn at the end. Loved reading everyone's comments down here too!
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 1/8/2014 7:45:00 AM
Thanks, Andrea. I enjoyed writing it and I am happy everyone else is getting a kick out of it, too. I LOVE giving people a taste of their own medicine ;)
Date: 1/7/2014 1:58:00 PM
OH MY I have always wanted to be in the service of a GOOD KING, the best sort of government is to be had that way, I would not kneel for I kneel to no one, but my pen is at your service my Liege. Your Lady Bet
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 1/8/2014 7:48:00 AM
lol I would never make my friends kneel; only my underlings, the simpletons and sycophants. You're a gem of a friend, Deb :)
Date: 1/7/2014 1:33:00 PM
I decided to delete my first comment, as it might encourage others to actually take this too seriously. Instead, I'll say: This is funny, I enjoyed it, it is well written.
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 1/8/2014 7:50:00 AM
I'm pretty good at satire; my services are always available lol. Thanks for all the comments and thoughts, ladies <3
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nette onclaud
Date: 1/8/2014 1:17:00 AM
where's mustapha? he is a great king of rhyme...
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Cyndi MacMillan
Date: 1/7/2014 5:26:00 PM
Yes. LOL. He definitely would have. But I am no where near the comedic writer that he is. I wonder if I could hire Chan to write my eulogy... I'd rather leave my loved ones laughing... odd thought. Lord. I need coffee.
Date: 1/7/2014 12:51:00 PM
I am delighted this is not to be taken seriously as you have spelt King wrong, you have spelt it "kind" on your second line…..But you obviously have a sense of humour….
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 1/8/2014 7:52:00 AM
Normally my editing skills are top notch, unless I am inebriated, which I was last night. Will be correcting my errors shortly; thanks for pointing them out :)
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nette onclaud
Date: 1/8/2014 1:19:00 AM
what a king, hahaha... well i'm still the worst typist here , david..
Date: 1/7/2014 12:49:00 PM
I'm cracking up here, I bow to thee in lowly submission. Oh, that one day I might be worthy enough to flavor my peasant's food with your kingly toe jam. Chan, you are a poet, but also an it!
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 1/8/2014 7:54:00 AM
LOL! You're too much, Caleb! If you follow my entourage and cavalcade closely enough, you might be lucky enough to catch a piece of lint, which should be considered a holy poetic relic ;)
Date: 1/7/2014 12:41:00 PM
Ah, I see you like to take the diplomatic, oblique approach. I can only quail before such finesse and subtlety! If only I could bask in the shadow of your magnificence as direct exposure would burn me surely to a crisp! ;)
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 1/8/2014 7:55:00 AM
You are welcome to borrow a royal parasol, Roy ;)

My Past Blog Posts

What's So Phunny?
Date Posted: 8/20/2014 12:32:00 PM
In Out Up Down
Date Posted: 8/20/2014 1:11:00 AM
Salutations, my dear friends!
Date Posted: 8/9/2014 12:51:00 PM
Date Posted: 3/26/2014 11:19:00 AM
Through the Looking Glass
Date Posted: 3/21/2014 2:00:00 PM
I'm Ready for My Close Up, Mr. DeMille!!!!!
Date Posted: 3/18/2014 5:22:00 PM
Artpocalypse PentaStar
Date Posted: 3/3/2014 1:28:00 PM
So Mad I Can't See Straight!!!!! : Seeing Stars
Date Posted: 2/20/2014 11:35:00 AM
Inappropriate Laughter: A Series of Short but Embarrassing Memoirs
Date Posted: 2/17/2014 4:22:00 PM
New/Old Collage Art Piece :)
Date Posted: 2/12/2014 12:39:00 AM
More Pentagram/Optical Art
Date Posted: 2/8/2014 4:20:00 AM
You Wanna Know Something that Gets on My Nerves?
Date Posted: 2/3/2014 12:30:00 PM
Bionic Betty: Another True Tale from the Mental Ward!
Date Posted: 1/28/2014 10:13:00 PM
Memoir: Crashing "Women's Studies"; Feminists, BEWARE! lol
Date Posted: 1/25/2014 1:42:00 PM
My Pentagram Art; let me know what you think! :) ~Chan
Date Posted: 1/16/2014 6:08:00 AM
Date Posted: 1/7/2014 12:20:00 PM
Click for a Surprise...!?
Date Posted: 12/31/2013 10:32:00 PM
Do We, As Artists, Have The Right to Change Our Work?
Date Posted: 12/23/2013 11:12:00 AM
Coming Clean
Date Posted: 12/17/2013 5:01:00 PM
Paper-Cup Porsche: Memoir from the Mental Ward
Date Posted: 12/3/2013 8:38:00 AM
Collage Art: Warning, May Be Offensive!
Date Posted: 12/1/2013 5:13:00 AM
More Visual Poetry: Collage Art
Date Posted: 11/25/2013 7:48:00 AM
IT'S A TRAP!!!!!
Date Posted: 11/20/2013 6:21:00 AM
Date Posted: 11/12/2013 5:14:00 AM
From Great Pain Comes Great Inspiration?
Date Posted: 11/5/2013 4:54:00 PM

My Recent Poems

Date PostedPoemTitleFormCategories
8/9/2014 Grey Area Rhymedark,truth,world,
8/9/2014 The Plot Thickens Rhymegod,judgement,life,truth,
8/9/2014 Glossophobic Light Poetryfear,world,
8/9/2014 Only God Knows and Time Will Tell Rhymechange,god,time,
4/3/2014 Anti-Psychotic Rhymepain,
3/22/2014 Science Friction Rhymespace,stars,
3/21/2014 An Exercise in Versatility Versepoetry,self,
3/19/2014 Pas de Deux Rhymelove,
3/18/2014 Do Not Read and Operate Heavy Machinery or Equipment Rhymedream,heart,poems,
3/6/2014 Inder the Unfluence Coupletdrink,humor,wine,
2/20/2014 Psychomanteum Rhymeheart,spiritual,
2/19/2014 Rosetta I do not know?confusion,nonsense,
2/19/2014 What's Weighing Heavy on My Heart Rhymelost love,
2/17/2014 She Sold Her Soul in a Bathroom Mirror Rhymeevil,satire,woman,
2/12/2014 The Last Son Rhymeart,truth,winter,
2/11/2014 What Gets On My Nerves Narrativeanger,angst,how i feel,,l
2/10/2014 Surgical Blue Free versehealth,me,satire,
2/8/2014 Restless Natives Sonnetboat,journey,ocean,
2/7/2014 Casting Couch Sonnetart,god,life,
2/5/2014 Hemlock Valentine Rhymedeath,fire,grave,heart,lo
2/4/2014 Veracious Vainglorious Vivacious Vixen: Very Virtuous, Very Vicious Rhymebeauty,woman,
2/1/2014 I'm Gonna Need a Transplant Rhymeabuse,addiction,drink,
1/31/2014 Assault and Pepper Rhymehow i feel,
1/28/2014 Bionic Betty: Another True Tale from the Mental Ward Narrativecrazy,woman,
1/26/2014 Nothing's New Rhymefun,morning,poems,sun,wom
1/25/2014 Memoir: Crashing Women's Studies- Feminists, BEWARE lol Narrativeart,funny,poetry,social,w
1/25/2014 Social Climber Rhymedeath,father,heaven,money
1/24/2014 Rubicons and Oubliettes Rhymeemotions,feelings,
1/23/2014 Water Brothers Rhymebeauty,brother,death,wate
1/7/2014 Poking the Beast Rhymeanger,fire,violence,
1/6/2014 Humble Pie, Anyone Prosehow i feel,introspection,
1/1/2014 Room Service Lyriclust,romance,sexy,
12/31/2013 One-Trick-Pony Rhyme 
12/18/2013 The Fool Rhymebaby,fun,horse,humorous,m
12/18/2013 Coming Clean Narrativeanger,conflict,introspect
12/17/2013 Perfectly Terrible Rhymeanger,beautiful,conflict,
12/3/2013 Paper-Cup Porsche: True Tale from the Mental Ward Narrativeblack african american,cr
12/3/2013 Gardens Grey Rhymebeauty,celebrity,characte
12/2/2013 Darth Exactitude Rhymecharacter,fantasy,star,wa
12/1/2013 All We Have is Hope Free versecancer,conflict,hope,how
11/28/2013 Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow Fonder Light Poetryheart,how i feel,lonely,l
11/28/2013 Twice the Christ Rhymechristian,death,god,humor
11/21/2013 I Think of You More Than You Think I Do Light Poetryheart,husband,i love you,
11/20/2013 Love is a Lie Rhymegod,heart,love,love hurts
11/11/2013 Have My Cake and Eat It, Too Rhymecrazy,future,self,vanity,
11/6/2013 Damage Control: An Apology Poem Rhymeheart,poets,sorry,
11/5/2013 From Great Pain Comes Great Inspiration Narrativeanger,bereavement,best fr
11/5/2013 Tug of War Rhymecrazy,pain,sorrow,war,
11/5/2013 Believe It or Not Rhymeanger,angst,god,lonely,lo
11/5/2013 As God As My Witness Rhymeconfusion,dream,joy,life,
11/4/2013 The Throne of Bone and Stone Rhymedream,sad,sin,sleep,world
11/3/2013 A Rational Explanation Rhymedeath,feelings,life,war,w
11/1/2013 Horrorscope Rhymechange,self,space,stars,
10/30/2013 Call Me Monday When I've Made My Millions Rhymedeath,heart,kiss,lost lov
10/29/2013 An Ounce of Pretention Rhymefuture,heart,
10/29/2013 Burning Man Rhymefire,grief,journey,sad,tr
10/28/2013 I'll Have Another, and Keep'em Comin' Rhymeangst,drink,heart,poets,s
10/28/2013 Glad-He-Ate-Her Rhymeanger,violence,war,
10/27/2013 Lazy Man Rhymelove,self,
10/27/2013 Escape Artist Rhymeheart,hope,lost love,poet
10/27/2013 Blackout Rhymedeath,faith,life,sorrow,w
10/26/2013 Around in Circles Rhymesleep,truth,
10/26/2013 A Journey Through Eternity Rhymeanger,future,happiness,ho
10/23/2013 Exercising My Demons Rhymeevil,heaven,religion,
10/23/2013 Knock, Knock Rhymecrazy,heart,self,song,sor
10/17/2013 Damn You, Eve Rhymedance,heaven,innocence,lo
10/17/2013 Romance the Chance Rhymebeauty,dance,hate,journey
10/17/2013 The One Least Likely Rhymeemotions,sorrow,
10/17/2013 Try as They Might Rhymeart,people,poems,poetry,p
10/15/2013 In the Meantime Rhymepain,
10/14/2013 It's Hard to be a Rhymer in a Free-Verse World Rhymeart,poetry,
10/14/2013 A God Among Men Rhymebody,heart,men,sky,
10/12/2013 You Love Me More Than You Love Yourself Light Poetrychildren,grave,love,my ch
10/12/2013 Spreading the Seed Rhymedesire,fun,lust,sexy,
10/12/2013 Burying the Hatchet Rhymegrief,pain,time,today,
10/11/2013 What Would You Take Contest Entry Narrativefriend,husband,lost,music
10/11/2013 Run for Your Lives--Them's Fightin' Words Rhymeconflict,fear,friend,pain
10/11/2013 I'll Drink to That Rhymeaddiction,drink,marriage,
10/10/2013 Angel in Your Eyes Contest Entry Rhymeangel,
10/10/2013 Why Can't I Be Young, Rich and Thin Narrativeart,beauty,desire,imagina
10/8/2013 Take Two and Call Me in the Morning Rhymeangst,sick,
10/7/2013 Twenty-Below Zero Rhymetime,trust,
10/5/2013 You and I and I and You Free verseanger,beautiful,corruptio
10/4/2013 Leave a Message After the Beep Free verseabsence,dark,death,drink,
10/3/2013 Delusions of Grandeur- Bon Voyage Rhymejourney,stars,time,world,
10/3/2013 The Verdict Is In Rhymeevil,time,violence,
10/3/2013 Alone with My Thoughts Rhymecolor,death,pain,truth,
10/2/2013 PHARM Fresh Rhymeaddiction,love,
9/29/2013 A Happy Ending Rhymehappiness,life,love,pain,
9/29/2013 No Assembly Required Light Poetrydeath,flying,travel,
9/29/2013 Come Out, Come Out- Wherever You Are Rhymelost,pain,peace,sleep,
9/26/2013 Playing with Fire Rhymeanger,fire,heart,violence
9/26/2013 Strange Bathfellows Rhymebooks,humorous,insect,
9/25/2013 I'll Gladly Pay You Tuesday Light Poetryfood,money,
9/25/2013 Meet Me Halfway Rhymelost love,violence,
9/25/2013 Thank You Lord, Amen Rhymeevil,god,sick,sorrow,time
9/25/2013 To Make Matters Worse Rhymedeath,dream,friend,love,s
9/24/2013 The Truth Isn't Always Kind Rhymelife,truth,
9/24/2013 Hammer to a Concrete Heart Rhymefear,heart,writing,
9/23/2013 Life is Sweet in Honey-Hives Rhymeflower,life,sweet,

My Photos

Fav Poems

The King of Sanctimonious Rhymehumorous,metaphor,
A Beautiful Love Free verselove,relationship,
Death Will Not Come For Me Rhymedeath,evil,life,magic,
Leonardo DiCaprio Rhymecelebrity,film,for him,ho
ALCOHOL Free verseaddiction,
Chaff vs Wheat - Relief Rhymeangst,goodbye,lost love,r
Fate's Occasion Iambic Pentameterbeautiful,beauty,emotions
Heaven For A Poet Rhymedream,fantasy,heaven,insp
Nevermore Rhymehorror,poetry,tribute,wri
The Dead Of Winter Quatraindark,death,lonely,winter,
Oh Love, Fair Love Rhymeloss,lost love,lovelife,l
William part 2 Balladeblack african american,gr
Bending Backward Ballad 
Popcorn Music Rhyme 
Rhyme Master Couplet 
The Horde's Prayer Verseangel,
Come Sit by My Side Tail-rhymefor her,marriage,moving o
Dreaming Couplethumor,humorous,poets,
Shocks Of Electrifying Emotion Rhymelove,romantic,,cute,
A Dedication To The Man Rhymededication,friendship,,cu
SWITCH magazine Free versededication,hope,life,love
The Other Side Rhymeabsence,allegory,analogy,
DUFFY DEAN Rhymecat,
In Search Free versebeautiful,bible,god,
Pirates Cove Rhymefunny,humorous,poetry,sea

Fav Poets

Karen Anglesey United States Flag United States Read
Allan Koven United States Flag United States Read
Richard Lamoureux Canada Flag Canada Read
Danesh Morgan Singapore Flag Singapore Read
Kelly Deschler United States Flag United States Read
Mustapha Mohammed Trinidad and Tobago Flag Trinidad and Tobago Read
Joseph Matose Zimbabwe Flag Zimbabwe Read
James Marshall Goff United States Flag United States Read
Mark Peterson United States Flag United States Read
robin davis United States Flag United States Read
Laura Breidenthal United States Flag United States Read
Sophia Valentina United States Flag United States Read
Painted Hunter United States Flag United States Read
Rick Richardson United States Flag United States Read