THEORY #26385 - John Lawless's Blog

Perhaps “mankind” is and was the first pestilence visited upon the earth.  Oh, no, wait maybe the prehistoric upheavals, the lava spewing volcanoes, the floods and fires, the extinction of the dinosaurs……OH!  OH! Maybe it was all started by the first one celled amoeba to crawl upon the land….oh…did that come before the dinosaurs??  Damn, I don’t know. Sometimes I think it was “aliens” tinkering with the process and other times I think God started to designate some aspects of creation to ….. I don’t know…..maybe some Angels, you know, the really qualified ones with degrees and backing from the Angelic council and plans on how to make everything work better, smoother, more efficiently, more cost effective (assuming that is that heaven and god had a budget and every aspect up to and including “the pork” had to be accounted for.  The backbone (no pun intended) of my theory centers in the formation of Committees of Creation.  That would explain the Duck Billed Platypus (a beaver with a bill and a spiked tail), the Sloth (an animal so slow that the only one that was ever first was the first), penguins (birds that can’t fly but can swim), the Polar Bear (an animal that wears white after Labor Day), the Walrus (…no explanation necessary).  I do not wish to discuss the work of the Bureau of Bugs (biting, stinging, crawling and otherwise).  

However, my main theory is that the earth is just a giant alien kids ant farm and he keeps messing with it and leaving it outside in the rain and shaking it and leaving it near the fire place and leaving it outside in the snow and someday soon he’s going to get tired of it and us and just chuck it…..OR…wait….maybe that already happened….