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Forgive me these are the last of the funnies , Honest - Seren Roberts's Blog

About Seren Roberts
(Show Details...)
Bloggers PhotoI am just me, laugh when happy, cry when sad, bleed when hurt.







Forgive me these are the last of the funnies , Honest


Blog Posted:1/15/2013 12:02:00 PM

11. 'Doc, I can't stop singing:  'The Green, Green Grass of Home.

Doc says,  'That
sounds like the Tom Jones Syndrome. '

Is it common, doc?'


'Well, it's not unusual.'


12. A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet.  'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you
can do for him?'

'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a look at him.' and he
picks up the dog and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth.  Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put
him down.'

'What? --- because he's cross-eyed?'

'No, because he's really heavy'


13. Guy goes into the doctor's.  'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my
bottom.'

'How's that?'

'Oh, don't you start.'



 

No 14.  What do you call
a fish with no eyes? --- a fsh.


No 15. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
'Can you give me a lift?'  I said 'Sure,
you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'


No 16. 

Apparently, 1 in5 people in the world is Chinese.  There
are 5 people in my family so one of them must be Chinese.  It's either my mum or my Dad --- or my older
brother Colin --- or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu --- but I think it's Colin.


No 17.

Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your
round.' The second one replies,  'So are
you, you fat bastard!'


No 18. 

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks.  They charged one and let the other one off.



 No 19.

 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my
driving today.  They left a little note on the windscreen.  It said, 'Parking
Fine.' So that was nice.'


No 20 .

A man walked into the doctor's, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places'

The doctor said, 'Well don't go there any more'

No 21.

 Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this
morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery.  Irish search and rescue workers have
recovered 2826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging
continues into the night.



Please Login
Date: 1/16/2013 6:16:00 AM
Some made me laugh and some were, oh well. Thanks anyway
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Roberts Avatar
Seren Roberts
Date: 1/16/2013 12:47:00 PM
I know what you mean Jancarl.. if you have never heard of Tommy Cooper they wouldnt make sense to you. I personally didnt like his comedy... But some were funny
Date: 1/15/2013 9:17:00 PM
lol... Seren.... lol.... love 18.... and 19.... and # 16 ... got me lmfao..... he he... thanks for the laugh...PD
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Roberts Avatar
Seren Roberts
Date: 1/15/2013 11:50:00 PM
Hey PD laughing again, thats my claim to fame. ...Seren
Date: 1/15/2013 5:49:00 PM
Hey, Seren!! You made me LMAO!! These are hilarious! Im printing them! : )
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Roberts Avatar
Seren Roberts
Date: 1/15/2013 11:51:00 PM
Roberts Avatar
Seren Roberts
Date: 1/15/2013 6:16:00 PM
Be my guest Ruben, they are Tommy Cooper Jokes.....Have you heard of him ....Seren
Date: 1/15/2013 4:49:00 PM
Two Nuns getting home from a late night out. Having to climb the wall to get back into the Nunnery, Sister Mary says 'Oh my, I feel like a Commando' Sister Elizabeth says ' Where are we going to get a Commando at this time of the night' ..........
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Roberts Avatar
Seren Roberts
Date: 1/15/2013 6:15:00 PM
keep them coming James ...Seren
Date: 1/15/2013 3:22:00 PM
Ahh...the luck o' the Irish!...No. 17 tore me up too!...Good stuff Seren! - Tim
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Seren Roberts
Date: 1/15/2013 3:31:00 PM
Thanks Tim.....Seren
Date: 1/15/2013 2:43:00 PM
Enjoyed these laughs as well !!
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Seren Roberts
Date: 1/15/2013 3:31:00 PM
Good they did their job then...Seren
Date: 1/15/2013 2:09:00 PM
Seren ha ha very funny...David
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Seren Roberts
Date: 1/15/2013 2:36:00 PM
thanks david
Date: 1/15/2013 1:49:00 PM
Smiles and chuckles all the way Seren, xxx
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Seren Roberts
Date: 1/15/2013 2:37:00 PM
thanks Rose
Date: 1/15/2013 1:48:00 PM
Two Nuns walking down the road. A male streaker runs by. One Nun had a stroke, the other couldn't reach :)
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Seren Roberts
Date: 1/15/2013 2:37:00 PM
Haha naughty James lol i am still giggling.
Date: 1/15/2013 1:16:00 PM
Sure made me laugh Seren, thanks for sharing ;)
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Fraser Avatar
James Fraser
Date: 1/15/2013 4:50:00 PM
Apparently, if one pulls my ears, the headache goes ;)
Roberts Avatar
Seren Roberts
Date: 1/15/2013 2:38:00 PM
mypleasure hows the headache
Date: 1/15/2013 12:22:00 PM
brilliant love em and you xx
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Roberts Avatar
Seren Roberts
Date: 1/15/2013 12:48:00 PM
thanks Mandy

My Past Blog Posts

 
contests
Date Posted: 11/8/2016 5:43:00 AM
Sun shines on the righteous.... results
Date Posted: 4/19/2016 12:15:00 PM
Error on contest results
Date Posted: 2/16/2015 10:04:00 PM
LIFE IS LIKE A MAYPOLE CONTEST
Date Posted: 2/16/2015 9:18:00 AM
Are any of you having to log in continually
Date Posted: 2/10/2015 1:22:00 AM
Cowboys
Date Posted: 5/9/2014 4:53:00 AM
Help Please
Date Posted: 4/4/2014 3:29:00 AM
MY CONTEST
Date Posted: 3/13/2014 4:48:00 AM
Avatar picture
Date Posted: 9/17/2013 8:31:00 PM
HELP
Date Posted: 9/15/2013 1:37:00 PM
I have finalised my contest - What makes you tic
Date Posted: 9/14/2013 7:15:00 PM
NEW CONTEST - what makes you tick
Date Posted: 8/8/2013 11:50:00 PM
Contest results
Date Posted: 7/7/2013 7:42:00 PM
MY CONTEST
Date Posted: 6/30/2013 12:06:00 AM
painting by U.S.A.artist LAURA WHEELER WARING.
Date Posted: 6/19/2013 4:52:00 AM
PICTURE AND COLLAB. POEM
Date Posted: 6/14/2013 3:29:00 AM
CAN ANYONE ACCESS MY OUTBOXES,
Date Posted: 6/10/2013 6:27:00 AM
Thank You for all your Prayers
Date Posted: 5/5/2013 11:00:00 PM
DID YOU KNOW?
Date Posted: 4/13/2013 1:42:00 AM
HELP
Date Posted: 4/7/2013 3:42:00 PM
starlings putting on a show
Date Posted: 3/16/2013 9:20:00 AM
why do Welsh soldiers wear a leek in their hat badge
Date Posted: 3/1/2013 12:41:00 PM
MARCH 1ST,
Date Posted: 2/28/2013 1:04:00 PM
New Poems
Date Posted: 2/27/2013 7:03:00 PM
AVATAR FOR PD
Date Posted: 2/23/2013 11:15:00 AM

My Recent Poems

Date PostedPoemTitleFormCategories
5/16/2017 Rapido tennis - sports shorts contest Rhymegames,
5/15/2017 pigeon poo - juvenilia Rhymebird,
5/7/2017 Would be an honour to pull up a chair Coupletfun,
5/1/2017 Art Beryl Cook - The Lingerie P Coupletfun,
4/20/2017 I am numb Nonetbetrayal,
4/17/2017 Moment is now Monorhymelife,
4/13/2017 moment Tankasad,
4/10/2017 T Rex hits the heights Versemusic,
4/8/2017 Labyrinth - Amazing thoughts Lanternememory,
4/5/2017 Aimee Vibert Oderose,
4/3/2017 Kibosh'd on Kir Kimodrink,
4/1/2017 Hidden Thoughts Rhymelife,
3/22/2017 If Only - contest Rhymelove hurts,
3/21/2017 Judgement overrides jumbled - not for contest Juejulife,
3/20/2017 Jaded jaundiced views Juejumeaningful,
3/19/2017 Dust---- who cares Rhymefriend,
3/16/2017 Spring - time to give thanks Rhymespring,
3/15/2017 Tears Free verseemotions,
3/14/2017 ping pong - not for contest Limerickireland,
3/14/2017 drink guinness Limerickireland,
3/9/2017 Kindergarden-Pleiades contest Versechildren,
3/7/2017 what the eyes sees the heart cant forget Rhymelife,
3/6/2017 noise to entice -The Noise contest Rhymeinsect,
2/28/2017 they come in twos-unwanted guests contest Rhymehumor,
2/28/2017 changes are not always better - upside down contest Verselife,
2/20/2017 pleasured- sexyku contest Haikulove,
2/20/2017 Hunger- Pleiades Contest Versewords,
2/17/2017 old persons lament Rhymelife,old,
2/15/2017 checkerboard of black and white Rhymelife,
2/14/2017 Geronimo Versehistory,
2/13/2017 Scarramac the scarecrow Rhymechildren,
2/9/2017 Listen and heal Rhymemusic,
2/8/2017 safe haven Haikutree,
2/5/2017 The Poets Pluck- Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quatrainpain,passion,
2/2/2017 awaiting my fate Verselife,sea,
2/1/2017 But Seriously Rhymeholiday,
1/30/2017 once upon a time Verseimagination,
1/28/2017 stepping through time - swaying my body Versedance,
1/28/2017 Seven for Chaos and Order - life Verselife,
1/24/2017 A Poet giver of light Versepoets,
1/24/2017 Forsaken - closing the chapter Fibonaccigoodbye,
1/24/2017 Blue stands for tranquility Verseblue,
1/23/2017 lost so lost Blitzlost love,
1/21/2017 Music in my soul - form E contest Englynheart,music,
1/20/2017 My name is Puss-Puss- for the love of kittens contest Rhymecat,
1/19/2017 through the mist - natural metaphor contest Rhymelife,
1/18/2017 Valentines for life Dodoitsulove,
1/17/2017 Find me at Six Rhymehope,lost,
1/16/2017 echoes in my head- talking in your sleep contest Quatraindream,
1/15/2017 message in an acrostic contest Acrosticprayer,
1/12/2017 Quadro-Stars Versestars,
12/21/2016 SALES - Day after Christmas contest Rhymeboxing day ,
12/21/2016 survival : epic contest Epicjourney,snow,
12/19/2016 just throw it Limerickfunny,
12/9/2016 Fragile heart - re-entered poem Acrosticheartbroken,pain,
12/9/2016 goodwill- pleiades contest Versefriendship,
12/9/2016 if I were an elephant Verseanimal,words,
12/8/2016 River Line Verseriver,
11/28/2016 Heart of Christmas Acrosticchristmas,
11/19/2016 try and try again-River line contest Versefish,
11/12/2016 Pain Blank versepain,
11/11/2016 whats in a name Rhymename,
11/9/2016 after the election Rhymeamerica,
11/7/2016 One Special Feather- one specific rhyme Verselife,
11/6/2016 The Hunt Versememory,
11/6/2016 The Old Rocking Chair Versepeace,
11/4/2016 Tongue Twister Time Verselife,
11/4/2016 together we are invincible-five lines Verselife,
11/2/2016 Penny for the Guy Rhymefun,night,
10/24/2016 what does poetry mean to you - contest Verselife,
10/23/2016 Fragile Hearts Acrosticemotions,
10/22/2016 Five Fabulous Fun Footles contest Footlefun,
10/21/2016 Pretty Glass Gem Coupletlife,
10/20/2016 Danced across the square Coupletdance,
10/15/2016 Within his Heart Verseconfusion,life,
10/6/2016 Forlorn Lanterneemotions,
10/4/2016 Why oh why Pantoumlife,
10/1/2016 Watching and Waiting Coupletlonging,
9/28/2016 two silly greatest fears Versefear,
9/26/2016 veiled silence Tankalife,
9/25/2016 September song Haikubird,
9/25/2016 watch this space Verseemotions,
9/19/2016 Autumnal Nights Haikuautumn,
9/18/2016 Enjoyment Verselife,sad,
9/13/2016 Movie Mania Verselove,
9/10/2016 Mirror Image-a body of works contest Rhymeaubade,body,
9/8/2016 Animal Antics Rhymeanimal,
9/6/2016 Smile Versesmile,
9/4/2016 Wonderful Thoughts Rhymelost,
8/28/2016 Dreaming Rhymedream,
8/28/2016 Haul me up Peter Couplethumor,
8/26/2016 My Shoes Rhymefeelings,
8/25/2016 The Stalker version 2 Rhymelife,
8/23/2016 Autumn's Glare Monorhymeautumn,
8/23/2016 Bouquet of life Verseflower,
8/23/2016 Christmas Versechristmas,
8/20/2016 I forgive Senryuforgiveness,
8/20/2016 Path of Life Sonnetmissing you,
8/19/2016 Des the donkey Monokufun,
8/19/2016 Awfully nice- oxymoron contest Rhymegirl,nice,

My Photos


photo

ps_boat on sand.jpg

Fav Poems

PoemTitleFormCategories
Centipedes I do not know?funny,
INTO NIGHTSCAPE Rhymeadventure,dream,mystery,
Riding Horses with Dad Rhymedad,father,sky,
You Caught The Wind Free versedeath of a friend,nostalg
My Guitar Light Poetryintrospection,philosophy,
Pointe Coupee Parish Free verseculture,death,
The Pathway I Will Lay For You Versefor him,romantic,
If I Could Free versegiving,
Organic Ecstacy Free versenature,planet,
I'm Vinyl Baby Free versemusic,
THE BELLE OF THE BALL Rhymedance,romance,
For One Pass Of Your Breath Free verselost love,love,love hurts
Je suis Charlie I do not know?allah,angel,angst,bereave
A Sea Of Love Quintain (English)water,
I Think Of You - Ground Zero - 1 Free verseintrospection,
I Think Of You - But I - 2 Free verseintrospection,
I Think Of You - At The Edge - 3 Dramatic monologueintrospection,love,nature
I Think Of You - Where You Bloom - 4 Free verseintrospection,
Hidden Beauty Free versebeauty,
I Think Of You - After The Fall - 5 Free verseintrospection,
A Long Loud Sigh Free verseintrospection,drug,
I Think Of You - An Alternative Universe - 6 Prose Poetrybest friend,cute love,des
Plato and Socrates Ekphrasisappreciation,beauty,humor
Hot And Cold Comes The Night Free versedepression,heart,introspe
A Tulip Grows Under An Evergreen - Inspired By The Poets At PoetrySoup Shapebeautiful,beauty,earth,li
Reflections on a window Narrativelife,
AT THE FOOTBRIDGE - LIMERICK COLLABORATION Limerickbetrayal,body,humorous,
Erase Me Imagismheartbreak,
A Cathartic Weave Of Three Free versebreak up,celebration,devo
Con Descending Elegyanti bullying,bereavement
Whisper Soft Into The Night Rhymelove,

Fav Poets

PoetCountry 
Jack Ellison Canada Flag Canada Read
Richard Lamoureux Canada Flag Canada Read
Suzette Richards South Africa Flag South Africa Read
Lynn Glover United States Flag United States Read
Seren Roberts United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
arthur vaso Canada Flag Canada Read
The LYRIC United States Flag United States Read
Tim Smith United States Flag United States Read
Maurice Yvonne Canada Flag Canada Read
Abed Anthony Tanzania Flag Tanzania Read