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Ode Christmas Poems | Ode Poems About Christmas

These Ode Christmas poems are examples of Ode poems about Christmas. These are the best examples of Ode Christmas poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Ode | |

Christmas Past

In midst of forest stands an ancient tree
decorated by nature with white cotton snow puffs,
icicles glisten and gleam sparkling in the sunlight.

Around its base are gathered all the forest's creatures
with pregnant pause they wait as the star shines out
a beacon to all calling out, hush now do you hear?

The sleigh bells ringing out as down swoops Santa
wait, he is not alone with him the blessed babe 
in distance approach the three wise men bears gifts.

All the creatures now on bended knees him they salute
the ancient tree smiles knowingly and the heavens
celebrate with comet tails and shooting stars the precious babe.

written 12/02/2014

contest Hush of Christmas Past


Details | Ode | |

Ode To Our Christmas Tree

O' Christmas Tree, dear Christmas Tree, you've given us so much pleasure!
Again you've graced our home this Yule Season with beauty we'll ever treasure.
How we look forward every Season to awaken you again from your drowse,
And release you from that confining box to spread your welcoming boughs.

You stand so regal with the angel at your top trimmed with garlands of gold.
With limbs embellished with dainty ornaments, you're a beauty to behold!
Tiny lights gleam from every branch to guide Rudolph and the sleigh,
To leave goodies for the kinder - ah, 'tis such a joy to watch them play!

Alas, we must fold your boughs and muse upon memories ever to remember,
But Lord willing, you'll stand tall again about the first of next December!
How we dread to place you in that confounded box but we know that you'll,
Spring to life in splendor next Noel to warm our hearts with another Yule!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved


Details | Ode | |

PRESIDENT OBAMA MEETS A MUSLIM CLERIC AT THE WHITE HOUSE - AT CHRISTMAS

PRESIDENT OBAMA MEETS A MUSLIM CLERIC AT THE WHITE HOUSE... AT CHRISTMAS!!!!



President Obama had a 
little date,
Something which would
eventually - seal his US
Presidential fate.
He invited a Muslim 
cleric to his White House
for tea,
And this Muslim cleric - 
wanted everything for
free!

While Obama tucked into
his banana-filled 
sandwiches,
The Muslim cleric asked
Obama: "Do you have any
beverages?
Yes, of course, I do, Obama
replied - tea or "black" 
coffee? 
"Who you calling black? I'll
get you the sack - you and
your stupid donkey!"

"No, you silly man - I'm not
referring to you,
I'll call up my senate - they're
a motley crew!"
"Thank you, said the Muslim
cleric - but can I ask a favour?
Will you try this towel on your
head - and Islam you can 
savour?

"I'm sorry, but it is the wrong
colour, it clashes with my
eyes,"
"Just put the towel on - and
then call up your spies?
"My spies? What are you going
on about?
All the spies who I know of - 
their torture they do spout!"

So in the end they compromise,
and embrace each other well,
Obama said; 'that was close - 
I thought we would gel!'
"Obama, the cleric said; I love 
you - please, marry me?"
Oh, shut up will you - and climb
back upon the Christmas tree!"

Then all the staff came in - and
a knackered' Santa Claus,
Is this what you call Christmas - 
I must scratch my nose!
"What have you got, asked the
Muslim cleric, he really was
impressed?
Oh, I've got a towel - now I can
get dressed!"

Must we tell the world of our
secret love affair?
But we're not together - neither
do we care!
But for the sake of Islam - and
something called; Christianity - 
Let us get out of here - before
we lose our sanity? 

So, as dawn rises over the White
House - the President is waking
up - and now he's on the prowl, 
Blimey, what a dream I had - I
had to wear a towel!
Then he goes to address his nation, 
and this he did so dread,
But why were all the people laughing -  
his towel, it was a turban on his 
head!!!! 

BY
DARRYL ASHTON        


Details | Ode | |

Ode to a King

The angels praised him,
the heavens rang.
How can I do less?

The shepherds marveled,
and spread the news.
How can I do less?

Wise men brought gifts
worthy of a King.
How can I do less?

My lips will praise him,
my heart will sing.
My soul will worship
my Savior and King.

Every chance, I tell
what he's done for me.
He died in agony,
hanging on that tree.

Celebrating his birth,
I give him my all.
How can I do less
when my Savior calls?



Details | Ode | |

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS - REVISED - PART TWO

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS...REVISED PART TWO!!!!
 

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love
said to me:

Twelve IRA bombings
Eleven monks moaning
Ten nuns praying
Nine convicts appealing
Ten MPs are fiddling
Nine teachers abusing
Eight holidays cancelled
Seven flights rescheduled
Six asylum seekers
Five MP sinners
Four judges bellowing
Three lawyers accounting
Two swingers swinging
And one X Factor dropout
makes me cringe!

BY
DARRYL ASHTON


Details | Ode | |

MERRY CHRISTMAS - BAH HUMBUG

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! BAH HUMBUG!!!!


Yes, I know its nearly 
Christmas, we can't
escape this sight,
I'd like to run away - 
before I choose to
fight!

The festive season - 
or holidays - the US
like to say - 
But why not keep this
festive hog-wash - for 
a cold  December day?

Tinsel is everywhere - 
and Christmas trees
are up!
It looks so darn 
depressing - I think I
may throw up!

No, I won't, I'll battle
on, and take it on the
chin,
But keep those crackers
away - I think I need a
gin!

Kissing and snogging - 
the mistletoe is about,
Well, just you try kissing
me - I'll give you such a
clout! 

Relatives are coming, to
gloat at what you've 
made,
And all you want to do - 
is hit them with a spade!

Every year, the same, it
has to be done you see,
When all you really want  
to do; "is to burn the god-
damn  tree!"

Family pretense is now
all here, but invisible 
throughout the year,
And the only thing you
want - is another cold
beer! 

Oh, Happy Christmas, to
you all - and a Happy New
Year!
Oh, what a lovely farce  
this is; I think I'll show my 
rear!

We do the same every
year - will we never learn?
All this festive pretense - 
my stomach now does churn!
How are you? Good to see
you! My God we are two
faced!
Just bring some wine and
good cheer - Christmas
is all laced!

Now the end has come - 
and all them folk are gone,
But who the heck were
they all - I didn't know
anyone!!!!  
So, Merry Christmas to you
all - and enjoy 2015,
Please keep Christmas in
December - any earlier; 
"I'm  just not keen!" 


BY
DARRYL ASHTON 


Details | Ode | |

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas

Waking up to
Silver Christmas morning
Joy overwhelms me
Spreading throughout me
Just like the snowflakes
Over this plain

Watching your hair
Resting peacefully on your forehead
Calling for my hands.
Watching your ravishing lips
Made for kissing no one but me.
You're so beautiful,
Divine
Oh, my beloved!
My soul wishes you
Happiness, joy,
All the tenderness in this world.
Waking you up
With a soft kiss on your breasts
Merry Christmas, my dearest one
I love you.
http://vimeo.com/115299806 
My best wishes for a Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! With love Maxima
 https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/501037



Details | Ode | |

CHRISTMAS TOO EARLY

CHRISTMAS TOO EARLY


I see Christmas in October,
it really is too soon, 
Please, keep it in December,
or I’ll award you a wooden
spoon?
Since when did Halloween 
and Christmas, come ‘joint’ 
together?
Just seeing them together – 
I’m now at the end of my
tether!

I really don’t mind Christmas – 
but it shouldn’t be all year
round,
And every year it does get
early – the nut house I am
bound!
Christmas adverts on TV – 
buy one get one free!
And Argos showing their
Christmas stock – a fairy 
on a Christmas tree!

Even Ant and Dec – now
they get on my nerves,
I wish they’d ‘get lost in
the jungle’ – that they
do deserve!
Morrisons are paying 
them, to ponce around 
their store,
All this Christmas nonsense,
it really is a bore!
           
Even Marks and Spencer,
are glitzing up their
Christmas adverts,
“Just get your money out
folks – we sell expensive 
shirts!
Even for the women – 
there are sexy Christmas 
French Knickers – 
To woo your ideal man – 
while he tries on his kickers!

Then there’s Peter Andre, he’s
at Iceland now, 
Preaching about their ‘chilling’
bargains – and thinking; ‘holy
cow!’
That’s why Peter goes to Iceland,  
and listens to the festive, Slade,  
But the only true reason he’s at
Iceland – he does get very well
paid!

But wouldn’t it be special – if
Christmas was in December,
While we put up the tree in 
December – I really do
remember.
Baby Jesus was born on 
December the 25th,
Not in October – or November,
this is just a myth!

We seem to have forgotten – 
just what Christmas means – 
Everyone spending money – 
and living beyond their 
means!
Christmas is just too 
commercial – that is how it
is – 
If only it could get back to
how it was – it really would
be bliss.

But, why do we do it? And
every year the same?
Panicking in the supermarkets – 
driving us insane!
All the festive goodies – are
there for us today –
But when I see those prices – 
of my chocolate’ Milk Tray!

Even Father Christmas – is
really feeling the pace,
He’s got to jaunt around all
night – what a rat race!
Sitting in his sledge, sipping
a glass of sherry;
“Oh, what the heck – one for
the sky – because I’m in a
hurry?”  

All this silly Christmas 
nonsense, thanks to those 
three “wise” men –  
They have a lot to answer
for – taking gifts into that
den!
The den of straw were a 
child was born – a so-called
stable shelter, 
Now on this day of 
deliverance – it started a
trend, you betcha!

So, Merry Christmas, I say
to you – but please keep it
in December;
‘Not in October, or November,
please, do remember!’
So with this in mind – I give
you good cheer – but still I
feel dismay – 
This is because it gets earlier – 
the depressing Christmas Day!      


BY
DARRYL ASHTON
     


Details | Ode | |

THEY BELIEVED IN THE SAVIOR

The were the three Magi with mantels and beards, traveling
on strong camels as far as Bethlehem and having 
seen a wondrous star, they began their long journey 
by bringing precious gifts, but they warned Joseph and Mary 
of Herod's malicious intent...so they fled to Egypt
on a donkey that never complain of a sore hip! 


They believed in the Savior as Herod himself full of pride,
and being very wise, they never returned
to tell him what kind of child they had found! 
They brought their gifts and knelt at a child
whose fate as foretold was to die for us all,
and he gladly accepted them hearing His Father's call!


Not having heard from the Wise Men who had lied to Him, 
Herod sent his soldiers to kill all children under three: screams terrorized Bethlehem;
no, they weren't moved by their mother's painful cry
and shedding their innocent blood they revenged that lie!
O mothers of Bethlehem, Jesus knew that they were slaughtered because of Him!
O mothers of Bethlehem, you wept and moaned as they bled as a sacrificial lamb!


They believed in the Savior from what they had read,
and wanted to see for themselves the glorious event that Daniel spoken of:
the brightest star shining over Bethlehem as angels sang, 
announcing Christ's birth in a small town groping on a hill of citrus and clove!



Written on December 16, 2012


Details | Ode | |

SING A SONG OF CHRISTMAS

SING A SONG OF CHRISTMAS


Sing a song of Christmas
Stockings all in a row,
Tangerines and pennies
Tucked into the toe.

If you were really lucky,
You might get a toy,
A dolly for a little girl
And soldiers for a boy.

Sing a song of Christmas
Bringing home the tree,
With mistletoe and holly,
We decorate for free!

Paper chains and candles
Brighten up the hall,
Lots of fun and laughter
Not much expense at all.

Sing a song of Christmas
Now things have changed
alright,
Children now hang up a
sack
That’s filled on Christmas
night.

Flashing lights on houses
Are fun for all to see,
But they’re going to cost a
fortune in electricity.

Sing a song of Christmas
Thank goodness some things
last,
In best Yuletide tradition
Drink a toast to Christmas past.

Sing a song of Christmas
Every one’s happy and glee,
Opening up their presents,
Given by you and me.

Sing a song of Christmas
We all sit down for lunch,
Looking all around the
place,
What a tasty bunch!

Sing a song of Christmas
Gran’s in her room,
Sending out a text message,
She comes out with her
broom!

Sing a song of Christmas
Family all around,
Merry Christmas to you all,
You cannot hear a sound!

Sing a song of Christmas
Pretending to be happy,
Oh I like my socks – 
I got from my granny!

Sing a song of Christmas
We love to just be happy,
But certain people can’t
be like this;
They are a real misery.

Christmas past and some are
Scrooge,
That is how it is,
But deep inside we do feel
good,
Christmas can be bliss.

To all those other Christmases
From when we were all small.
In Dickens’s words from Tiny
Tim: ‘God bless us, one and all.’

Sing a song of Christmas
Baby Jesus is born today,
We all do go to sing in church,
And to the lord, we pray.

BY
DARRYL ASHTON
 


Details | Ode | |

A COWBOY SAVES CHRISTMAS

A long time ago and far to the west 
Lived outlaws and rustlers unlike the rest. 
Let me tell you a story you don't often hear 
Of how Jerry Jing-Jang saved Christmas one year. 

On a cold Christmas eve with the snow drifted deep 
Rusty the rustler just couldn't sleep. 
Feeling sad for himself as that north wind did blow 
'Cause you can't rustle cattle in six feet of snow. 

When an idea was hatched by one desperate guy 
Of what he might do with reindeer that fly. 
Rusty the rustler jumped out of bed 
And off to the orphanage that dirty rat sped. 

He climbed up to the rooftop and hid in the snow 
And waited for Santa and the reindeer to show. 
With so many stockings, Santa was busy below 
Rusty took the reins and shouted "Let's go!" 

Santa's reindeer stood firm refusing to run 
So Rusty unhitched them and pulled out his gun. 
He told all the reindeer "Now you do as I say," 
He fired a warning and they all ran away. 

Then up from the chimney Santa did pop 
And saw none of his reindeer on the rooftop. 
He sent for the sheriff, who of course was no use 
He just said he was sorry the reindeer were loose. 

"It's Jerry Jing-Jang you need with his horse and his pup 
A cowboy's what's needed to round them all up." 
Jerry Jing-Jang was sent for and he arrived right away 
To find Santa's reindeer who'd all gone astray. 

Dancer and Rudolph very soon were found 
By a collie named Roundup with his nose to the ground. 
Jerry Jing-Jang was worried 'cause he'd only found two 
But Santa had a fine idea just what they could do. 

Jerry Jing-Jang rode Rudolph and Santa rode Dancer 
Dog and cowboy could find them and for Santa they'd answer. 
Riding on reindeer the job didn't take very long 
For Rudolph was fast and Dancer was strong. 

The reindeer again were soon hitched to the sleigh 
And Santa was ready to go on his way. 
He gave the cowboy a present, a harmonica to play 
When he sat by the fire at the end of the day. 

As Santa thanked Jerry Jing-Jang for his help 
From the sleigh there came a frightened yelp. 
The sheriff had let Rusty get away, 
And the outlaw had hidden in Santa's sleigh. 

Then Santa laughed "Ho! Ho! Ho! 
To the North Pole this fellow must go. 
Feeding reindeer takes a man strong and tall 
And I am too busy and the elves are too small. 

Rusty looked to Jerry Jing-Jang as his face went pale 
And the cowboy asked him if he'd prefer a jail. 
This is the story that's not often told 
Of how a cowboy saved Christmas in days of old.


BY
DARRYL ASHTON


Details | Ode | |

CHRISTMAS MORNING - WITH ALF GARNETT JNR

The misery guts on Christmas Morning! 
Christmas Morning...With Alf Garnett jnr! 


(This is based on both the classic US and UK TV sitcoms of All In The Family, 
which starred Archie Bunker - and the Til Death Us Do Part - starring Warren 
Mitchell as the bigoted and loud mouth Alf Garnett - which actually did inspire 
All In The Family.)  


 
	 
(Some strong language is included in this feature) 


(Alf wakes up with a hangover) 


ALF: "Oh, my head!" 

ELSIE: "Serves you right! Stopping out till all hours, drinking and smoking. 
Now you're fit for nothing!" 

ALF: "Shaddap, you silly moo!" 

ELSIE: "Do you want some breakfast?" 

ALF: "No, I bloody don't! Just a cup of tea!" 

ELSIE: "I don't know what I'm gonna do with this!" 

ALF: "With what?" 

ELSIE: "This, turkey, you bought from the market! It's too big!" 

ALF: "Just cook it...and we'll all bloody well eat it!" 

ELSIE: "A nice bit of pork would have done us! This will be wasted!" 

ALF: "Oh, stop yer nagging, will you! Just bloody well cook it, and we'll eat 
what we can! Bloody women!" 

ELSIE: "But this won't fit in the oven! I don't know why you had to buy such a 
big fat bird, in the first place!" 

ALF: "Only you is doing the bloody complaining, my dear! Only you is bloody 
moaning about the bloody turkey! The good lord has seen fit to bless us with 
this turkey!" 

ELSIE: "Well, he hasn't got to cook it, has he!" 

ALF: "Well, perhaps if you pray a bit harder - he just might come down and 
bloody well cook it for you!" 

ELSIE: "You pig!" 


(Knock on the door) 

ALF: "Bloody hell, who's that, bloody knocking? Shouldn't be bloody knocking 
on people's houses - not Christmas morning! Tell them to sod off!" 

ELSIE: "They're carol singing! Can you hear them?" 

ALF: "Yes! Bloody yes! I don't want to bloody well hear them! Bloody annoying 
it is! Begging, they are! Bloody parents I blame!" 

ELSIE: "What's on the TV?" 

ALF: "The same as every bloody Christmas - bloody garbage! Repeats! Carol 
bloody singers, news readers, spitting out the bad news all the bloody time. 
Should be illegal, it should!" 

ELSIE: "Well, I like the carol singers! I like the fairies, too!" 

ALF: "What bloody fairies?" 

ELSIE: "The fairies on the tree!" 

ALF: "Bloody trees, waste of bloody money! Too much mess on the floor!" 

ELSIE: "Well, you don't clean up, do you, I do it! Just like I do all the cooking, 
and cleaning, and you go up the pub! Christmas is hard work for me!" 

ALF: "Oh...shaddap, you bloody silly moo! Bloody Christmas! Should be 
banned - too expensive! Bloody three wise men - starting a bloody panic they 
did!" 

ELSIE: "The hotels are always full at Christmas!" 

ALF: "Yeah, poor baby Jesus, was born in a bloody stable! Bloody cold he was, 
shivering!" 

ELSIE: "Yes, it was terrible! He was born in the stable with them cows and 
everything! You see, all the hotels were full! So they couldn't get in one!" 

ALF: " You bloody silly moo!!!! They didn't have hotels back then - it wasn't 
known as bloody Christmas! Sometimes your intelligence really does bloody 
well astound me!" 

ELSIE: "I love them carol singers! They sound like they're happy!" 

ALF: "Of course, they're bloody well happy - they going round and annoying 
people - singing their bloody heads off - when they should be home with their 
mom and dads!" 

ELSIE: "Look on the TV, all them stars are on! All working Christmas Day! Even 
America has been on! 

ALF: "Look?" 

Elsie: "I like the America!" 

ALF: "The people on the TV are recorded, they don't work on Christmas Day! 
There'd be bloody riots if they had to come in to work!" 

ELSIE: "But they're there, look, on the TV? How can they be at home - and on 
our televisions at the same time?" 

ALF: "You bloody silly moo! You really are going bloody well senile! Here, have a 
bloody drink! They prerecord their shows!" 

ELSIE: "Look? Obama's on the TV!" 

ALF: "Sod, Obama!!!!" 

ELSIE: "Well, I like him! He's got a good suntan!" 

ALF: "You bloody silly moo - he's naturally bloody brown! He's running around 
bloody well gloating! Bring back yer George Washington!" 

ELSIE: "What, Washington? Oh, the pub/bar!" 

ALF: "If you listened a bit more to the news - you'd bloody well know which 
Washington! It's yer American stuff!" 

ELSIE: "Well, I want to see the Queen! When she on?" 

ALF: "She's in her bloody palace - having her dinner! She's managed to cook 
her bloody turkey! Unlike you! You silly moo!" 

ELSIE: " Are you going down the pub tonight?" 

ALF: "Yes!" 

ELSIE: "You should stay here, with me!" 

ALF: "I've got to go! It's traditional!" 

ELSIE: "Yes, but it isn't traditional to come back home like a drunken pig!" 

ALF: "Shaddap! Stop yer bloody moaning, woman! It's Christmas! I'll bring yer 
a bottle of beer and some nuts back! Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!" 

ELSIE: "You...PIG!!!! 

ALF: "Baa bloody humbug!!!!" 


THE END 


 


Details | Ode | |

A FED UP SANTA

Christmas is coming, we can see that,
Everything on display at the stores is a fact!
In early October, along with Halloween,
They put all their Christmas stuff - right
in between! 

So when you go into the store, be careful
who's behind the door?
It could be Santa, or Halloween, perhaps 
you might fall on the floor!
Just say; "Trick or Treat" - then - "Merry
Christmas"?
And watch someone smack you in the
choppers?

Happy Christmas in October? 
It's enough to send you too pass over!
Carol singing I tried to do,
But the bloody manager just said: 
"Who are you?"

I said: "greetings sir, I am the future",
I am the ghost of Christmas nature?"
Be gone he says - I hate the word,
Don't be fooled it's all absurd! 

So, my friends, it is official,
Don't forget the crackers and tinsel?
Have fun at Christmas, in December,
Please for my sake - do remember!

Poor Santa is so confused
He says to his elves - he feels so
used?
He gets his letters and his emails - 
But all he does is trim his nails! 

He's in his Lapland and knows the score
And he will come here right through
the door!
He is magic, we all know that,
But he is confused about all our chat!

Why we start so darn early
He needs rest from all our burly.
I kid you not, he's really got a cough, 
Cos Christmas starts early, and he's really...
cheesed off!!!!  

BY
DARRYL ASHTON

 


Details | Ode | |

A CLAUSE FOR SANTA

‘Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the flat,
Not a creature was stirring, except
 the old rat.
There came a great crashing and
in great disarray,
Appeared dear old Santa
In a tatty old sleigh.
The sleigh was quite empty, no
presents in sight.
I asked Saint Nick plainly: 
‘It’s Christmas tonight?

‘Why aren’t you stocked up
with games and with toys?
‘You can’t disappoint all those
girls and those boys.’
He sighed and he gave me a
look of despair.
I live at the North Pole, it’s
freezing up there.
‘My heating costs now are
just out of sight,
‘But pay them I must or we’ll
all get frostbite.

‘The elves are on strike for a 
rise in their pay, 
And they’re holding a sit-in, in
my new Christmas sleigh.
‘They’ve doubled the price of
the poor reindeers’ grub.
‘So that’s why I’ve come, lad,
I’m here for a sub.’
‘You’re having a laugh, or
you’ve picked the wrong house,
I’m as poor,’ I said straight, ‘as
poorest church mouse!’    

Saint Nick gave a grin and said I
know that you’re skint.
‘But my cunning plan will make 
us two a mint.
‘I know that it’s really not a 
hundred per cent cricket,
‘But in your Christmas stocking
is a Lottery ticket.
‘No one will know that we’re on
the fiddle,
‘When you get the cash we’ll split
it straight down the middle.’

I opened my mouth to say ‘OK! 
Yes! Yup’
When the blasted alarm clock
sounded ‘time to get up’.
I’m wondering now, was it a 
dream? Was it for real?
But if Santa does his bit – 
I’m up for the deal!
Come on you reindeer, stop
eating those carrots,
I aim to get home and drink my 
Guinness!


BY
DARRYL ASHTON  
 


Details | Ode | |

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS


On the first day of Christmas my
true love said to me
I’m glad we bought fresh turkey
a proper Christmas tree.
On the second day of Christmas
much laughter could be heard
As we tucked into our turkey, a
most delicious bird.

On the third day of Christmas
we had people from next door
The turkey tasted just as good
as it had the day before.
Day four relations came to stay,
poor Gran is looking old
We finished off our Christmas 
Pud and had the turkey cold.

On the fifth day of Christmas 
outside the snowflakes flurried
But we were nice and warm
inside, we ate the turkey curried.
On the sixth day i admit the 
Christmas spirit died,
The kids fought and yelled, we
ate turkey rissoles fried.     

On the seventh day of Christmas
my true love gave a wince
We sat down at the table to a
meal of curried mince.
Day eight our nerves were getting
frayed, the dog run for shelter
I served twenty turkey pancakes
with a glass of Alka Seltzer.

On day nine our cat left home,
by lunchtime dad was blotto,
He said he’d have to have a drink 
to face the turkey risotto.
On the tenth day the wine was
gone, except for homemade brew,
And if that wasn’t bad enough we
suffered turkey stew.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
the Christmas tree was moulting,
The mince pies were as hard as
rocks, the turkey was revolting.
On the twelfth day of Christmas
dad smiled and smacked his lips.
The guests had gone the turkey
too. and we dined on fish and 
chips!

BY
DARRYL ASHTON   

   


Details | Ode | |

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

T’was the night before Christmas
And all through the flat,
Not a creature was stirring – 
Just me and my cat.

Then up on the rooftop
There came a big bump,
A rattle, a clatter,
And then a great thump.

Then what to my bleary
Old eyes should appear?
A sledge and beside it,
A troop of reindeer.

Then in rolled a figure,
In a red-and-white suit,
A happy old Santa,
As tight as a newt.

He hiccupped and grinned
Said: “I’m really quite merry,
And so would you be
At your ten-thousandth sherry.

Now if you can help me 
To locate my sleigh,
I’ll call up my reindeer
And get on my way.”

I helped the old fellow
Back up to the roof,
Though the smell on his breath
Was 90 per cent - proof.

I managed to get him
Stuck into his sledge,
While the reindeer were happily
Munching my hedge.

He mumbled; “ Oh, sugar!
I’ve mislaid my sack,”
Then giggled and gave
With his whip, a great crack.

“On Dixon! On Nixon!
On Bush! And on Blair!
I’ve forgotten your names
But, I really don’t care.

I vaguely remember
That one of you’s Dancer,
Oh, just giddy up,
If your name rhymes with Chancer.”

I stood and I watched
As they rolled through the sky,
While a chorus of burping
Echoed down from on high.

Then the sleigh faded out,
But I heard the last call:
“Thank heaven for SAT – NAV,
HAPPY CHRISTMAS to all!


BY	
DARRYL ASHTON


Details | Ode | |

CHRISTMAS LOCO

I went along to ASDA, one Friday 
in July
And there I saw an item – that 
I greeted with a sigh,
For, there on a special counter, 
for everyone to see,
‘Aunt Bessie’s Christmas Pudding – 
buy one get one free,’

‘Best before November’ said the 
notice on the label,
So that’s no blooming good – to 
grace the Christmas table.
In August while at Blackpool, I 
thought I’d buy some rock,
The lady said she’d sold out, but 
had Christmas cards in stock.

September saw me thinking, of 
daffodils for next year,
I know at our local garden centre – 
they quickly disappear.
But I was disappointed, and 
saddened by the sights,
For the only bulbs that I could find, 
were those for Christmas lights.

When the nights get shorter, Father 
Christmas is about,
It may still be October, but from 
school the kids are out.
They visit Santa with their parents, 
but don’t sit on his knee,
For if they do, he’ll be accused of 
being non – PC!

I can tell it is November, when he 
jingles on TV
Say: ‘Go to Tesco’s for your gifts, 
and have a spending spree.
Penny for the Guy, Sir, and a carol 
shall we sing,
‘To save us coming round again – 
To give your bell a ring?’

The cards are now arriving, 
December in with a burst,
The post is late, hey what’s the date? 
I see, it’s just the first.
The folk across the road from us, 
think it’s quite exciting,
To deck the house, from roof to 
ground, with fancy electric lighting.

On Christmas Eve we needed milk, 
so I went into town.
Not a sight of Christmas – all the 
lights were down
Not one Christmas pudding, all 
mince pies were gone
Just a load of bric – a – brac, and a 
big sign saying; ‘Sale now on! 

‘But across in one corner – For 
everyone to see,
Cadbury’s giant Easter eggs – 
buy one, get one free!’.

BY
DARRYL ASHTON


Details | Ode | |

Christmas House

Mommy! Mommy! See the Christmas tree
Shining brightly for the neighborhood to see?
And the logs on the fire are so sparkly.
They make me feel warm and fuzzy.
Did you know tonight is Christmas Eve?

Mommy! Mommy! Watch how the lights
Blink and glitter. They shine so bright.
Used to be I was ‘fraid of the night
But it’s too pretty to feel any fright.
Mommy, what will you open at midnight?

Mommy! Mommy! Listen. They’re singing
And there’s snowmen. And angels. And bells ringing!
I wonder if anyone will come bringing
Any music for us? Any ding-dong-dinging,
And make us happy…our skin tingling?

Mommy! Mommy! What did you say?
Oh, me? What do I want this holiday?
That’s easy. I wan’na laugh, sing and play
With you -n- Sissy. Now, can we pray
That God will send us Daddy on Christmas Day?