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Poetry Forum. A poetry forum dedicated strictly to poetry. Poets can use this poetry forum for poetry workshops, sharing poetic techniques, discussing aspects of poetry, poetry publishing, and the poetry industry. Poetry forum members can enter poetry contests, post poems, and participate in the #1 poetry community on the internet.

Community Soup Bowl
Introductions
New to PoetrySoup? Introduce yourself here. Tell us something about yourself.
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930
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9/27/2016 8:53 PM - keith osborne
How do I...?
Ask PoetrySoup Members how to do something or find something on PoetrySoup.
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235
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9/27/2016 9:27 PM - keith osborne
PoetrySoup Notes
Info and comments from the PoetrySoup Team.
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2
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7/3/2016 4:59 AM - David Smith
Collaboration
Collaborate on a poem or external project.
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6
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7/13/2016 2:31 AM - Denise Hopkins
Poetry Critique
Be Gentle
Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
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276
Latest post
9/25/2016 5:26 PM - Jerome Malenfant
High Critique
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
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850
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9/26/2016 3:50 PM - Terry Robinson
Poem Editing and Help
Do you need help editing a poem? Maybe English isn't your first language. Post poems or request help with a poem or english here.
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4
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9/23/2016 3:02 PM - Jerome Malenfant
Poetry Talk
Writing Poetry
Ways to improve your poetry. Post your techniques, tips, and creative ideas how to write better.
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67
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9/26/2016 2:08 PM - Jerome Malenfant
Poetry Everything
Discuss your favorite poems, poets, and poetry books - analysis, ideas, hidden meanings, random thoughts, etc.
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70
Latest post
9/23/2016 2:36 PM - Jolene Cheyney
Looking for a Poem
Can't find a poem you've heard once? Looking for a poem for a special person or an occasion? Ask other member for help.
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21
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9/27/2016 4:23 PM - ANNA FERA
Outside the Bowl
Post information about other useful poetry related websites and contests. Also report poetry scams.
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44
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5/25/2016 6:44 PM - Samantha Withee
Non-Poetry Talk
Love and Romance
Don't Post Poetry Here!!! Seeking relationship advice, romantic ideas or just want to express your feeling - Post Here!
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28
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Fun and humor
Don't Post Poetry Here!!! Everything to make us smile - anecdotes, stories, fun things to do, etc. But NOT Poetry.
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43
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7/3/2016 5:57 PM - David Smith
I just need to talk...
Don't Post Poetry Here!!! Talk about anything or need a shoulder to cry on? Share your thoughts and emotions here:
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92
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9/26/2016 5:51 AM - Keith Logan
Publishing
Publishers
Know of any good publishers? Tell us about them here.
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13
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9/7/2016 1:03 PM - Sharon Gulley
How to...
Have you published a book. Tell others how you did it.
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7
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9/1/2016 8:14 PM - Gail Lewis
Self-Publishing
How do I do it myself?
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5
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My Book(s)
Are you a published poet? If so, tell us about your book.
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4
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4/6/2016 9:07 AM - Saatyaki So Seshendra Sharma


What's going on
Forum users online 1   Forum members online 0   Forum guests 1

Threads 2697   Posts 5159   Forum members 37427


Recent posts
9/27/2016 9:27:10 PM
Topic:
Knowing what form a poem is

keith osborne
Posts: 2
I have never studied writting, just write what comes out. So my dilemma is I have no clue as to what form to label my poetry.
9/27/2016 8:53:05 PM
Topic:
Title Restrictions

keith osborne
Posts: 2
Why are there restrictions as to how one titles one's own work? Not being able to punctuate properly ruins the word play in a piece of mine.
9/27/2016 4:23:10 PM
Topic:
In search of this poem: these are the flowers i

ANNA FERA
Posts: 1
Hello everyone,

I'm new here and a great poem enthousiast. I've been looking for a poet and it's author for a while now. I've jumped into it on my teen years(now 29) and from what I can recall it's from an African American woman poet, occasionally she performed poems with another woman as a sister duo, who was also an academic and an activist/feminist.
The poem itself goes on about some children/kids that grow amidst battle fields/bullets and has a specific verse that goes "These are the flowers(or roses, can't say for sure) that i call my own"
Does it ring any bell

I've search the entire web but can't find nothing

Please help me
Thanks,
Anna
9/26/2016 3:50:07 PM
Topic:
Unrelated Marriage

Terry Robinson
Posts: 36
Dog upon my lap
Cat purring in the corner
Goldfish swims in bow
9/26/2016 2:08:19 PM
Topic:
Think of a title then just riff.

Jerome Malenfant
Posts: 7
What seems to work best for me is to come up with the first line, which then sets the subject and the meter, and then hopefully the poem will develop line by line from that.
9/26/2016 8:46:18 AM
Topic:
Both Sides of the Love Coin piece

W. Thomas Markham
Posts: 3
I'd like a hard critique if both poems is one long piece. If it is not, how can I make it into a long piece?
9/26/2016 5:51:51 AM
Topic:
i need to be heard by the world

Keith Logan
Posts: 16
Good deeds are performed by many on a daily basis. I have also performed some good deeds at least one of which wild horses could not drag out of me. A good deed is it's own reward. Ask yourself, why do you need the accolades of others for something essentially private?
edited by Keith Logan on 9/26/2016
9/25/2016 5:26:11 PM
Topic:
Feedback appreciated. Constructive criticism okay,

Jerome Malenfant
Posts: 7
Not clear to me why the narrator is worried about how near ARE the people if the car has now stopped. Do you mean how near they WERE to the car when it was in motion. And if so, why is the narrator STILL worried about that?

Also not clear to me is what the 3d line, first stanza means. Or why "other 2" is in quotes.
9/25/2016 5:14:52 PM
Topic:
Honest Critique please.

Jerome Malenfant
Posts: 7
It's not clear to me why the narrator of the poem is going to revel with the gargoyles and to meet the king of hell if he's so afraid. The souls of the damned are usually dragged to hell by demons; they don't go there willingly as this narrator seems to be doing.
9/25/2016 5:00:10 PM
Topic:
Need friends

Keith Logan
Posts: 16
Be careful lass. This is the internet, you can't believe everything you read. I could claim to be a young female and how are you to know I'm really a 65 year man.
9/23/2016 11:10:05 PM
Topic:
Problems with poem's final stanza, ending.

Jerome Malenfant
Posts: 7
First, I would not put Free Will in quotes; I feel that that weakens the line and/or title.


More importantly, I don't find the argument presented in the poem convincing. For one, there is no "we" here; SOME people choose to be sheep and to follow authority, and some do not. But even then, that is something that they freely choose to do. The question of free will to me is whether our decisions are completely determined by our mental processes, memories, and/or inner desires. Did I really make a free choice to eat that bowl of ice cream? or was my choice determined by which was stronger, the desire to enjoy the ice cream or the desire to loss weight.
9/23/2016 8:43:32 PM
Topic:
adidas superstarIs Available Now

Elvira006 Sds
Posts: 3
Adidas is currently riding the wave of a resurgence, thanks to its involvement with Kanye West and Pharrell Williams, new sneakers such as the NMD and Ultra Boost, and a newfound interest in the Stan Smith and adidas superstar. But there’s another line from Adidas that’s been growing a strong following under the radar: Spezial.




"It was the adidas superstar womens first" enthuses the self-confessed trainer obsessive and author a new book, Golden Kicks: The Shoes That Changed Sport. "Almost 50 years after it first appeared on basketball courts it’s still a fantastic shoe. It was the dawn of a golden age for adidas and one of the first trainers to cross over from sports to fashion, most famously on the feet of Run DMC in the 80s."




The adidas superstar mens has a sleeker look compared to a normal Superstar due to the fact that it does not come with Three Striped branding on the sides. In Y-3 fashion, they’ve decided to give the model some added oomph by adding some zippers and removable panels right down the center of the shoe. By doing this, you end up having several different ways of styling the shoes, it’s up to you to find the right combination.




This adidas superstar mens salenew colorway that has just surfaced at select retailers features a white tumbled leather upper with shades of green on the three stripes branding, heel tab, and the breathable mesh tongue. Touches of gold have also been added on the "Superstar" brandingon the side panels, and the trefoil branding on the tongue tag and the heel tab. Finishing off the look is the classic rubber shell toe also in white.
9/23/2016 8:42:08 PM
Topic:
Adidas' Best Kept Secret

Elvira006 Sds
Posts: 3
Relaunched last year, the adidas originals superstar has become a fashion classic, worn by designers Marc Jacobs and Phoebe Philo, and – this is only a slight exaggeration – about half the front row. Now the sportswear giant has seen the opportunity to reinvent another of its 90s favourites – the Superstar. The chunkier design, with shell toe and three stripes on the side and sometimes called ‘shelltoes’, is the subject of a campaign starring David Beckham, Rita Ora and Pharrell Williams, with the slogan "reclaim Superstar" an attempt to up the street kudos of the shoe.




This modernized version of the adidas superstar 2 comes constructed out of a Grey-based Primeknit upper. Implemented on to the woven upper are multicolored accents placed all over the knitted motif. Black knit is placed on the heel tab, while Black tape is used for the Three Stripes branding.




Whether it be b-boys and graffiti writers in the South Bronx or football casuals in the north of the UK, adidas superstar 80s have been adopted into their individual style and became a signifier of their identity. These audiences weren't targeted by Adidas; they took these products, changed their context, and made them their own. It is street fashion in the truest sense.




Coles also holds the adidas superstar slip on in high regard. "It’s a beautifully simple design that’s as at home on a tennis court (although adidas no longer recommend it!) as it is on the catwalk." And then there’s the Converse All Star which celebrates its 100th anniversary in 2017. "They’re still loved all over the world, despite the fact it hasn’t really changed at all during that time," says Coles.
9/23/2016 5:31:49 PM
Topic:
My first Villanelle Poem... Help!

Jerome Malenfant
Posts: 7
Try using the active voice more: "My heart is weary and burns in pain".

Why does your broken heart "heals anew" just because it's dawn?

Try "As nightfall draws closer my heart cries in vain".

The repeated phase "I'm alone as I lay missing you" could be used to break the poem up into stanzas, making it easier to read, with that being the first line of the stanza.
9/23/2016 3:50:07 PM
Topic:
Help and tell me if it works

Jerome Malenfant
Posts: 7
I think the problem is with the rhyme scheme, in which almost every line rhymes on "day", which forces some lines into coming off as awkward, especially the first and second lines in the second stanza. The first line would read better if you broke your rhyme and wrote "All day the king and the cripple".

I would shorten some lines:

and must parry/the privileges thrown his way

among others.

The phrase "both citizens need sway" is unclear; do you mean "need to sway"? I.e. "be flexible"?

Why does the cripple "have cache"? Or "great scope"?

There should not be a comma after "stay" in the 1st stanza, since it's "stay upright". And the king is not a citizen, he's the king. Just write "both need to sway".

So basically I think you need to modify the rhyme scheme to something more flexible to avoid awkward lines and phrases.
9/23/2016 3:02:14 PM
Topic:
Please help me edit/feedback on my poem!

Jerome Malenfant
Posts: 7
To me the poem seems a bit overwritten; many of the lines could be shortened or deleted all together, which I think would improve the flow. E.g.

I wasn't born with a silver spoon,
But was given the gift of life.
.....
But was given the gift of time
.....
But was given the gift of work
.....
But was given the gift of earning
My very own silver spoon

I.e., try to imply things to the reader rather than spelling them out explicitly.
edited by zaq12wsx on 9/23/2016
9/23/2016 2:36:29 PM
Topic:
Self-published small booklet of poetry

Jolene Cheyney
Posts: 66
I'm working on putting together a small booklet of approximately 10 or 20 of my poems. This will be for distribution in my local area. The poems that have been marked by those that follow me on this site will be given extra consideration for inclusion. Also will be given extra consideration will be those that have the most views. After that I will select a few of my favorites. I realize this is a small sampling to see if poetry would be worth publishing on a larger scale and may not be representative of the entire nation. However, if any one of you would like a copy of this booklet please let me know. Haven't decided for sure on a price yet. Will probably try to keep it around the 5 to $7 price plus shipping. must say though that likely 99% of the poems will be ones that are already published on this site. Jolene.
9/23/2016 1:21:10 PM
Topic:
Honest Critique please.

Keith Logan
Posts: 16
This is very good but as others have said, could do with some fine tweaking. The first verse sets both the rhyme scheme and rhythm to use throughout. Here is my take on the second verse replacing gargoyle because of sense stress.
Through mist and morbid mire I went
To revel where foul demons dwell,
A guest whose very soul was spent,
To meet the host - the King of Hell!
9/23/2016 12:52:08 PM
Topic:
Please give me *serious* critique

Keith Logan
Posts: 16
I find myself unable to find a starting point to discuss a sonnet that holds neither to rhyme nor meter.
9/23/2016 11:38:38 AM
Topic:
I need some advice

Keith Logan
Posts: 16
Try not to worry. Remember imagined ills are always worse than the real thing. Buy yourself an alarm clock or count down timer you can set. Be sure it is loud and has a fluctuating tone. Steady tones (no matter how loud) are easy for the brain to ignore.




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