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Introductions
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1/19/2017 2:14 AM - Abigael Mwarambe
How do I...?
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240
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1/15/2017 11:41 AM - Bruce Adams
PoetrySoup Notes
Info and comments from the PoetrySoup Team.
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2
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1/14/2017 2:06 PM - Rainbow Promise
Collaboration
Collaborate on a poem or external project.
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1/11/2017 8:24 AM - loris Palmitesta
Poetry Critique
Be Gentle
Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
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279
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12/23/2016 9:17 PM - Doug Vinson
High Critique
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
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879
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1/20/2017 10:56 PM - Gabe Shelly
Poem Editing and Help
Do you need help editing a poem? Maybe English isn't your first language. Post poems or request help with a poem or english here.
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6
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1/15/2017 7:35 PM - Bob Atkinson
Poetry Talk
Writing Poetry
Ways to improve your poetry. Post your techniques, tips, and creative ideas how to write better.
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68
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Poetry Everything
Discuss your favorite poems, poets, and poetry books - analysis, ideas, hidden meanings, random thoughts, etc.
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70
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11/29/2016 5:20 AM - Doug Vinson
Looking for a Poem
Can't find a poem you've heard once? Looking for a poem for a special person or an occasion? Ask other member for help.
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23
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1/19/2017 8:29 AM - Eric Dobransky
Outside the Bowl
Post information about other useful poetry related websites and contests. Also report poetry scams.
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5/25/2016 6:44 PM - Samantha Withee
Non-Poetry Talk
Love and Romance
Don't Post Poetry Here!!! Seeking relationship advice, romantic ideas or just want to express your feeling - Post Here!
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11/27/2016 4:13 PM - Keith Teaser
Fun and humor
Don't Post Poetry Here!!! Everything to make us smile - anecdotes, stories, fun things to do, etc. But NOT Poetry.
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43
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12/26/2016 10:19 AM - Bruce Adams
I just need to talk...
Don't Post Poetry Here!!! Talk about anything or need a shoulder to cry on? Share your thoughts and emotions here:
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94
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1/4/2017 1:33 AM - Doug Vinson
Publishing
Publishers
Know of any good publishers? Tell us about them here.
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9/7/2016 1:03 PM - Sharon Gulley
How to...
Have you published a book. Tell others how you did it.
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9/1/2016 8:14 PM - Gail Lewis
Self-Publishing
How do I do it myself?
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10/13/2016 6:00 AM - Christian adeyemi
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Are you a published poet? If so, tell us about your book.
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12/22/2016 10:07 AM - Muhammad Safa Thajudeen


What's going on
Forum users online 2   Forum members online 0   Forum guests 2

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Recent posts
1/20/2017 10:56:49 PM
Topic:
My Heart

Gabe Shelly
Posts: 95
My Heart,



When I look at you I see as never before--

The silvery hue of water droplets on elephant ears--

A pink dawn of a new-born day--

The beauty of a blood-red dusk in May--

And if you before me go, then I will but surely follow




1/20/'17
edited by Gabe on 1/20/2017
edited by Gabe on 1/20/2017
edited by Gabe on 1/20/2017
1/19/2017 8:29:57 AM
Topic:
Help me find the Author

Eric Dobransky
Posts: 1
When I was in 9th grade, about 20 years ago I found a poem. It was in a female's handwriting. It was written on folded up notebook paper and lying on a floor. That poem was the reason I started writing poetry myself. I have always wondered if it was an original piece from one of my classmates or it was re-written from a poetry book. If anyone can help me find the author I would appreciate it. The poem is below.

Love is a signature engraved deeply on your heart.
Written in a special ink with long and lasting art.
Monogrammed with trust and care.
A sweet and tender rhyme.
Outlined with a familiar smile and memories of the time.
Love is a dream you dream sometimes when your mind can't ease the pain.
A daydream of sunshine when all you see is rain.
A wish for laughs and happiness.
Enough to give and share.
A thought of being together.
Just knowing someone's there.
Love is an image of how you feel and what you long to be.
A reflection on the way you live and what you live to see.
A picture you paint of yourself and the things you long to do.
An impression left about the ones who mean so much to you.
1/19/2017 2:14:00 AM
Topic:
GREETINGS

Abigael Mwarambe
Posts: 1
Hallo from Nairobi Kenya
1/17/2017 6:19:06 AM
Topic:
Canis Lupus

Greg Barden
Posts: 11
Very pleased to say that this has been purchased by my boss, the Emir of Dubai, and will soon be put to calligraphy and hung on the wall in the Maktoum Hall of Arts in the palace ... I am at once very humbled and very proud. Shukran lak, Sire ... As-salamu 'alaykum. Enshallah.
edited by Bahku on 1/17/2017
1/15/2017 7:35:48 PM
Topic:
Please help me edit/feedback on my poem!

Bob Atkinson
Posts: 204
Cordelia,
I find that the verb "to be" (is, are, was, were, am) makes a poem prose-ish.
My preference is to leave what "is" to prose, and keep poetry as a Reaction or Emotional Response to an event or situation (what is, are, was, were, am). Regards, Bob Atkinson

Google: poetry critic
1/15/2017 11:41:44 AM
Topic:
Sending soup mail

Bruce Adams
Posts: 3
How do I send a message to a poet on soup mail ?
1/15/2017 8:33:10 AM
Topic:
Mindless feelings

Barry Stebbings
Posts: 4
I read this as being about a sense of anti-climax after the festive season. I think the end of the poem is better than the beginning. What is 'ominous glory'. The sentiment is good but I would consider re-writing this as a Tanka using the last five lines.
1/14/2017 2:06:54 PM
Topic:
Have fun and keep PoetrySoup a haven.

Rainbow Promise
Posts: 50
Dear Soup, I think that my CUP was forgotten. Only the bear 1 is shown for Poem in Humor Contest!
"One poem per place in contest
1st place winners will have a trophy next to their poem on the website"

Poem: Man With A Plan
1
Humor Contest

5/8/2016 12:00:00 AM

Contest Judged. Yes 6/8/2016 12:32:00 PM

Jehovah is peaceful...
1/14/2017 2:04:52 PM
Topic:
Have fun and keep PoetrySoup a haven.

Rainbow Promise
Posts: 50
Dear Soup, I think that my CUP was forgotten. Only the bear 1 is shown for Poem in Humor Contest!
"One poem per place in contest
1st place winners will have a trophy next to their poem on the website"

Poem: Man With A Plan
1
Humor Contest

5/8/2016 12:00:00 AM

Contest Judged. Yes 6/8/2016 12:32:00 PM
1/11/2017 11:09:59 PM
Topic:
You can greet me now...

connie pachecho
Posts: 1
big oceans out there. river, lakes, streams, too. yet you come to
the smallest pond to fish for guppies. and we're stupid for reading.

yet the person writing can harvest the 7 views it received and

cherish that silliness
1/11/2017 8:24:31 AM
Topic:
Looking for a collaboration for music lyrics

loris Palmitesta
Posts: 4
hello, i'm searching for someone that might be interested in sharing authorship or to work as a music lyrist.
In order to give you an idea of the kind of music, here's a
linkhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXXXXXXXXXXhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXXXXXXXXXX
If you are interested, contact me. I'm very open to whatever kind of idea you might have.
1/11/2017 7:46:24 AM
Topic:
Mindless feelings

Tofara Moyo
Posts: 2
Purple clouds pulse passionately,
Frothing , unfixed form.
fashioning grande visions of ominous glory,
and traveling textures
Over monochrome,
then shallow rhythms of aching drops
tunnel through the same old worn paths
of the end of joyful season.
1/11/2017 7:42:50 AM
Topic:
You can greet me now...

Tofara Moyo
Posts: 2
Greetings.For a moment your silliness has infringed on my consciousness .Can you feel it? My glorious mind impinging on a pathetic anorexic excuse of yours.Apart from your causes you are *nothing*.

You and your apish mind are evidence of evolution. I am PROOF there is a God.
What else but an omnipotent , benevolent being would allow sublime symmetry and beauty to grace you?
You *are* your causes. Watch as i add one more.

See how you are, As your adrenalin ,anxiety ,your primitive secondary nervous system goes into overdrive.
You feel it don't you? Yes that's it. How your muscles twitch as you get into your primitive animalistic flight or fight mode. Your simple neurotransmitters clashing with synaptic clefts,in a crescendo..a coven of dissonant misschords.

You ache to lash out at me, itching to get a word back..itching to cause.

But you are also very stupid! Don't you know i feed off whatever energy you give?Whilst also not caring at all? While *you* move ,hoping I will be offended ,to lash back.. hoping to get some sense of existential satisfaction.

Now i will leave you. Your silliness has lost its novelty.You can go on to your pathetic existence now.

To your world of being caused . Your being changing with each new cause; morphing ...a myriad of ape like appearances.

Who am i?
Your silliness gets me one more time.
How could you ever hope to see.
But perhaps you can? You know me ...know me when you get the feeling of dejavu, when you see the glorious sun burst into a new day.
In the shimmering stars of silence.
I will tell you .But a word , concepts will only escape you.

MOYO.
1/10/2017 8:51:16 AM
Topic:
Canis Lupus

Greg Barden
Posts: 11
CANIS LUPUS

I entered your world in quietude,
Slipping through the granular, soft.
Long slats to feet parting the frozen.
Cold of a previously unknown extreme
Nipping sharp the epidermis with ardor.

A Mid-May akin to February, homeward,
First warning of extrinsic ire, ignored.
Hours of similar (sobering) revelations ensued,
Supplanted by days, weeks, moons ...
Reality - icebound and born of abiding trial.

The basic elements staggering,
Swallowed by the providence around me.
A vastness beyond vast afar ...
Crushing cold of limitless value,
Each sunrise a new contingency

For measure of my insignificance.
How I adored you for your beauty -
Such reward for the naked eye,
There among a denuded struggle.
Shaped by eons of selection

Into a creation of perfect form and ease,
As at home amidst desolation
As I at a warm hearth and aliment.
Moving sprite through your environs,
All senses attuned to the mind's axis ...

At once knowing and known,
Master of a savage domain.
Every dynamism a fluid dance,
Every steamed exhalation
A waif of delicacy bespoken.

Do not gods aspire to such?
If there were deities afforded
Such barren and bleak scapes,
It would be none other than you -
As exquisitely magnificent and divine

As the forbidding but breathtaking
Element around you, my brother.
I fear I have doomed you, for others will follow ...
Others who find no such elegance
In anything but graft and greed.

By the simple act of watching
I may have sealed your fate firm.
I will not turn to admire you as I leave ...
But keep you forever as a phantom
In my mind and heart and longings -

To devour my spirit and join with you,
Ever after straining to hear
The echo of your lonely, distant howl,
The one that so often haunts my dreams,
Dark and cold in the arctic night ...

Dark and cold in the willows ...
Deep and frozen and dreaming ...
Of your keen and breathless beauty.
If but mine to touch ...
Forgive me and farewell ...

Brother wolf.
edited by Bahku on 1/10/2017
1/10/2017 8:43:29 AM
Topic:
The Cost of Education

Greg Barden
Posts: 11
Yeah - love the way it flows and rolls, especially being satirical social statement of sorts, (and not an easy subject to get into) - some of my favorite forests to roam in, though I rarely make them my OWN stomping grounds, (I may remedy that). Well-said and crafted - enjoyed it very much!
1/10/2017 8:35:30 AM
Topic:
"Belleza Maldita"

Greg Barden
Posts: 11
Thank you for your notes, GD, it is about drug addiction, opiates, to be exact, though it would fit just about any type of substance abuse. The Love/Hate relationship is just more drastic and pronounced with opiates, in my opinion, but that's just from my perspective. I think this may be one of those poems whose subject matter is clearer to those who have been there, but I kept it rather obscure for that reason. Thanks again - much appreciated!
1/9/2017 2:08:04 PM
Topic:
The Cost of Education

Graphite Drug
Posts: 68
The Cost of Education

Ossenburger,the business genius,
when he graduated from college,
he started a budget mortuary service.

Five dollars a corpse!
He was the Wal-Mart of death.
Burry ‘em, burn ‘em, float ‘em down the river,
get ‘em by the gross like a bag-o-chicken wings.
Bodies stacked like cord wood rotting beneath an eve,
he had a secret process for sorting, storing, and disposal.
He hoarded the cadavers like a squirrel hoards its nuts,
buried and forgotten,
never wondering where they’ll pop up.

Dough rolling in from all the strapped families,
Ossenburger was the drug lord of putrefied flesh.
While puddles of fat caramelized within the soil,
he donated excess funds to his fondly held college.
He wrote off all his charity,
he hoarded up the dough,
with more babies born daily,
he kept profits up with our death toll.
Pencey held him in architectural esteem.
For all his generosity
they used his name
for their new wing.

Tell us Ossenburger about your fancy car,
how you dream of stiffs between each shift
and Jesus ignores our prayers to say how lucky you are.

Our only bit of justice, some smidge,
some smear of slight relief,
is hearing Marsalla’s flatulence
during your puffed up college speech.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you are intrigued by this work read and review G. D. Master’s book, “Interpretations,” free in PDF format on SmashWords.com. Simply enter “gd master” or “interpretations” in the search bar of SmashWords to find it.
1/9/2017 1:57:11 PM
Topic:
One of my personal favorites, but not so with PS.

Graphite Drug
Posts: 68
Great fantasy poetry, but I see some superfluous language. For instance:
Mere Combat in the Crucible
In front of vestibule a great dragon slumbers
Atop skeletal heap of unfathomable numbers
Like despair that guards my fatigued core
Surrounded ruin of all that I implore
1/9/2017 1:48:22 PM
Topic:
Rocket Ship People - My First Ballad

Graphite Drug
Posts: 68
Many poets begin by using capitals for each line and using lines and convenient punctuation for what they assume is poetic meter. I'm not sure that is what is happening here, but it is easy for readers to get lost. Something to experiment with may be use of stanzas. For instance:
Send that message
That signal so far
Is there a tower, some beam
That could speak to that distant star?

A million miles, separated
Years on that rocket
Could get anyone jaded
1/9/2017 1:35:37 PM
Topic:
"Belleza Maldita"

Graphite Drug
Posts: 68
This is some good writing. I don't see any errors or poetic missteps. The only criticism I have is its very general. It doesn't seem to have any imagery to lock on to, falling in love with your own dark side I'm guessing, it does read like something internal.




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