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Haiku Humorous Poems | Haiku Poems About Humorous

These Haiku Humorous poems are examples of Haiku poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Haiku Humorous poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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places I've peed haiku series

Sun glints off ripples
Play of light in sheltered cove
Scenic lavatory

Backyard full of stars
Footsteps crack on frozen grass
Moonlit lavatory

Forested mountain side
Above twisting single track
Rider’s lavatory

Over arid land
Falling rain evaporates
Hot Aussie dunny

Sandy beach stretches
Tropical coral waters
Pristine lavatory

Beneath St. Paul’s dome
Lies manicured garden
Monumental lav.

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Soccer Sucks

Soccer really sucks.
In real football they kick butt.
And what’s with the shorts?

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The Internet: Return

A void of Facebook
Creativity dies here...

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Huge swirling storm clouds
seem to defy gravity.
Seek safety in space.

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What Does The Fox Say

What does the fox say?
“I had rabbit yesterday,
I’ll have mouse today.”

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What Does The Dog Say

What does the dog say?
“I chase my own tail because
it looks delicious.”

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Coo-Coo Ca-Ca Chu

Coo-Coo Ca-Ca Chu!
That means a bird’s crapped on you!
That’s not nice at all!

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No Charm On The Farm

The third time’s a charm,
unless you live on a farm.
Cow poop stinks each time.

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Why Does The Ape Dance

Why does the ape dance?
Because he has a hot date
with a chimpanzee. 

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What Does The Cow Say

What does the cow say?
“Don’t touch my teats you pervert.
I will call the cops.”

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What Does The Butt Say

What does the butt say?
“Do not sit on me fatso,
it makes me real sore.”

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What Does The Ape Say

What does the ape say?
“Although I too walk upright,
I get no respect.”

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Why Does The Cock Crow

Why does the cock crow?
To get our lazy asses
out of our warm beds.

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What Does The Bug Say

What does the bug say?
“Bug is a negative term.
I am an insect.”

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What Does The Elf Say

What does the elf say?
“Santa Claus is a great boss.
He hired Mini Me.”

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The Internet

Oh the internet
A battle ground for morons
Will we ever learn?

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What Does The Dick Say

What does the dick say?
“Not the hand you stupid fool.
I need a woman.”

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What Does The Pig Say

What does the pig say?
“I am a little bit plump,
I am not chubby.”

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Fear The Water

Still waters run deep.
Stay out of the deep water.
Don’t be stupido.

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What Does The Hawk Say

What does the hawk say?
“Eagles are overrated.
We hawks rule the skies.”

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Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?

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Midnight Light

I like the midnight.
I’m not afraid of the dark.
I have a flashlight.

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Gross Joke

Bugger nose

Finger goes

Roll roll roll

Poem written as a Ellip ( form of Haiku) for Ellip Contest.

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Haikus About God: III

Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?

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Aliens at Your Bedroom Window

Don’t worry now child
There's no god, so worship space
You are not alone.

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What Does The Mouse Say

What does the mouse say?
“Okay! This is not funny!
Who put this trap here?”

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What Does The Frog Say

What does the frog say?
“I eat bugs. You eat my legs.
You must be crazy!”

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What Does The Turd Say

What does the turd say?
“I once was delicious food.
Now I’m stinking crap.”

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What Does The Moose Say

What does the moose say?
“No, I’m not an ugly deer.
I’m not Bullwinkle.”

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What Does The Witch Say

What does the witch say?
“I ride around on a broom
just because I can.”

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What Does The Bear Say

What does the bear say?
“Yes I do crap in the woods.
What is wrong with that?”

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What Does The Wolf Say

What does the wolf say?
“That sly old fox outsmarts me
every damn time.”

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What Does The Tick Say

What does the tick say?
“I prefer dogs but I’ll bite
your ass in a pinch.”

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What Does The Skunk Say

What does the skunk say?
“Stink is sweet perfume to me
so get over it.”

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A good winter's cleaning

What are Cabinites                                                                                                          all things you find when cleaning                                                                                      cabinet dwellers

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Bacchus Not Caesar

Grapes hanging on vines
Nectar of great taste and wealth
Roman Senate drunk

Grapes hanging on vines
Nectar of great taste and wealth
Romans fought while drunk

Grapes hanging on vines
Nectar of great taste and wealth
Bacchus, not Caesar

© Rick Zablocki 2013
For Alfred's "Bacchus" Contest

This is not factual( as far as I know), just my attempt at play with words, though I'm sure there were a few drunk Romans....

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Funny Animals

Pack rats are hoarders.
Loopy rabbits hop a lot.
Silly skunks spray stink.

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What Does The Whale Say

What does the whale say?
“Those damn Japs want to kill me
and eat my blubber.”

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What Does The Crow Say

What does the crow say?
“When I’m the farmer’s greatest
enemy, life sucks.”

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Heck The What

There was a pixie
inside the bottle I had.
She drank my whiskey.

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Valentine Delight

Part 1.

Valentine delight!
I know it's just a first date...
I should spend a night.

I see what you want!
Although we recently met...
Let's live for tonight.

How tempting of you!
But what's a couple more days...
What if it's not right?

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Another Stinking January

Another New Year!
It’s January again!
Too damn cold for me!

A freezing north wind!
Snowing and sleeting begin!
Long wool underwear!

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Zoological Obesity

Chubby fat hippo.
Big burly badass rhino.
Stout lout elephant.

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Beware The Skunk

Foam came from Pete’s mouth,
with a skunk biting his butt;
rabies on the run.

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Sunny Sonny

Sonny is sunny.
He is happy all the time.
What’s wrong with the boy?

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What Does The Cat Say

What does the cat say?
“That damn dog is getting on
my very last nerve.”

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Grape Wine Drink

Glittering Purple 
So pretty it is so sweet
Fruit of history

Glittering Purple
So pretty it is so sweet
Taste of memory

Glittering Purple
So pretty it is so sweet
Drink from grape it wines

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Negative Absurdities

You can’t hug a bug.
You can’t grapple with King Kong.
You can’t eat snot fast.

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Protesting Geishas

Geishas on the march.
Protesting we know not what.
They really look pissed.

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It fell from the sky.
I have a knot on my head.
Dead pigeon falling.

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Shemp was a real clown.
Curly was so much better.
What ‘bout Curly Joe?

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Snake Bitten

I stepped on the snake.
The snake struck me on my thigh.
I jumped off the snake.

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Tater Tots

Yum! Yum! Tater Tots!
Smush them real good in ketchup!
Love those Tater Tots!

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Brevity Is The Soul Of Wit

He drank too much beer.
He did not zip his zipper.
Nobody noticed.

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Night Watchman

Not on my watch man!
No streaking! Put your clothes on!
That’s perverted dude!

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Can't Dance

Old King David danced.
I can’t, I have two left feet.
I can’t sing either.

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Rebooting Fool

My computer crashed!
I am brain dead without it!
Reboot fool, reboot!

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What Does The Zit Say

What does the zit say?
“I do not make you ugly,
I give you panache.”

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Sound Sleeper

He was sound asleep.
A worm crawled out of his ear.
That was real creepy.

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Moonshine Jamboree

Moonshine Jamboree!
A country boy’s fantasy!
A redneck party!

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Skeeter Eater

The skeeter eater
is a right decent insect.
It eats the skeeters.

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Winter Mishap

I can’t feel my toes!
I’ve been walking in the snow.
I can’t feel my nose!

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Hillbilly Haven

Putin came to town.
It was filled with hillbillies.
They kicked his dang ass.

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If You Please

Cheese, Cheese, if you please.
I have to have it right now.
Please, catch me a cow.

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Digital blackout
Another ecovictim
Saved by library

(Ecovictim refers to anyone impacted by any economy as of late. More specifically, me when I had to budget without Internet service and relied on the public library.)

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hunter's cabin

deer hunter's cabin left naked in former woods... miles_strip cleared of trees
Not sure that this qualifies as a true Haiku

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Affairs of my pocket book

Perz got votes

Congress notes

I’m still broke

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All About the Music: The Infinite Magic of Lyricism

Pop may be catchy
But not lyrically deep
Case in point: Chris Brown.

(N.B. Poem written after hearing "Don't Wake Me Up")

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What Does The Fool Say

What does the fool say?
“I did not rush in there and
I am no angel.”

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Road Rage

it must be road rage
more than the middle finger
the middle toe too

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Note to Self

Stop writing haikus
They don’t even make sense now
Something something cake

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A Christmas wish list
A quick glimpse into my life
Not much going on

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The Crocodile I

The crocodile
listens to Rachmaninoff
once in a great while.

© 14-10-2013, G. Venetopoulos

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Le Vacance Pretentieuse: Storm Part V

The English weather:
Rainclouds follow us from home
There is no escape.

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seasonal senryu

Three Humorous Senryu 

If winter landscape 
Had snow that was black as coal 
It would still be cold 

If sunlight was green 
Shining on crimson nature 
It would still be hot. 

If rain was yellow 
Running like horse piss in streets 
It would still be wet. 

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dog haiku

dog breaks wind in sleep awakens and sniffs the air then bolts from the room
dedicated to dogs and dog lovers (the funny side)

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Shattered eggs
Fluffy corpse
Tooth Fairy in custody

March 10, 2013

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In My Jockeys

Down in my jockeys Resides a good friend of mine He's retired now © Jack Ellison 2014

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Haiku 12

eating the wife's baked bread
I take advice from the cow nearby
chewing and chewing

NOTE: for those that have read Haiku 11 I have just recently edited it if you wish to check it out.

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fresh air

Much - too 
much fresh air -
too early - my mind 
slouches toward sleep - tea time

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Quandary - A Husband's Haiku

The dishes are done,
Kids are asleep and dreaming.
Want to watch T.V.?

Privacy at last.
The kids will not disturb us.
Want to hug and smooch?

The dishes are done.
No one will disturb us, but
She's got a headache.

Whatever I did,
It must have been bad, because
She keeps saying, "No."

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Cold, Flexible Steel

A serial of haikus, all addressing the same topic with 
a hint of humor; but advice that could save your life
or that of a loved one.  New to PoetrySoup, so I hope 
I'm not "out of order" with this submission or topic. 

Cold, flexible steel
Probing my dignity...

This “simple” exam
“…could prevent cancer.” they say.

We all have to die,
But not from colon cancer.

There's a downside tho’.
“Yuk! That, nasty brown liquid.”

“But boy, does it work...
Work and work and work some more. 

Baring your buttocks...
In a fetal position;
Then the lights go out. 

“No polyps", they say.
There are no malignancies.

Your colon’s okay.
It’s five years until your next...

Want some peace of mind?
Insurance may pay for it.

One “simple” exam
Can provide that peace of mind.

You might save your life.
Over 45?  Do it!

Cold, flexible steel.
On the other hand, what if…
Something else kills you?

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Haiku 41

sporadic chimes -
an invisible man
knocks at my door

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Leapers in hot tub

Floats fingers and toes

What’s for supper- Stew!

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Escape to nowhere

My reality sucks.
What's the point of being sane?
....................................................................................Can't escape myself.

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You are a killer-
Vegetarian or not-
You eat - smash insects

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Not much is known about him,
But all girls love him.

Saint Valentine's Feast,
On February fourteenth:
Mostly chocolates!

It would make more sense
To honor Aphrodite...
So then, why don't we?!

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Pickled Beets

Used to know a girl Was obsessed with pickled beets Her skin was beet red © Jack Ellison 2014

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The Owl Family

You're on my doorstep
You want a family pic?
Got any mice—rats?

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Probabilities of Life

We want a sure thing,
But all we're really sure of
Are death and taxes.

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where are my glasses? aha! at last I found you sitting on my nose

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My Phone

Oh old mobile phone
Thanks for fixing my toilet
Now scared to touch you

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Stoner's Lament

All those wee pot flakes
So carelessly whisked away...
Could use a joint now.

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A suffocation
Poor poetry drowns me out
Most of it my own

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Some Haiku Silliness

Looked outside and a Lavender rhinoceros Was staring at me Some call me loopy That's a compliment to me Silly people rock Every time I sneeze I piddle in me trousers And poop my knickers I dress like a bum Cause I don't care anymore I'm retired now Hugging can lead to Something other than friendship An enlarged belly Men shouldn't ever Go naked in the winter Stuff just might fall off What does a Scottie Wear under his tartan kilt Small bits of haggis © Jack Ellison 2013

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Haiku 16

after hours
of wall-staring -
this drab haiku

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Hazed KU'S

                    --Mid*Night Purple Hazed,
                       Confusion Clouds Spin,
                            Mind In A Daze--

                  --Hands Cramp, Flow, Style 
                Bagged, Through Roughened Air,
                        Quarrels Ruby Red--

                    --Mouth Quit, No Words,
                         Come Out To Play,
                  Destined To Make My Fame--

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Haiku 28

do you hear it?
that be the sound of the "rule for haiku"

NOTE: 5-7-5 meet 4-10-2...

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Cupid lost sight
Of the skyrose! Ha! Ha!

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Behemoth, biggest
born of earth upheaved—vastness. 
—Milton (I stole it) 

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Why Did I Come In Here

Like a fleet rabbit
Memory runs from recall
Teasing from afar.

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!               Gathering clouds, then;
             rain. a pool! a puddle! a torrent! 
              then, an  almighty splash

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buzzing day and night 

tell scary tales at night

my blood relatives

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Black Bart

Black Bart the PO8
Robbed Wells Fargo in Cal state
His lifestyle—his fate

Claimed his poetry
Not his robbery should have
Jailed him…snobbery

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just silly

Big bear farts loudly
Coyote laughs at big bear
Bear eats coyote

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Erato left me
Alone—why did she go—where?
Too many poets

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Haikus About God: VII

Non-existent God
Subject of poor poetry
Just like this one. Damn.

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Crow Humor

Loud raucous laughter
From rowdy crows overhead
I missed the punch line

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Strikethrough Haiku

Derivative Haiku

This awful haiku
absolutely terrible -

Cute Baby Haiku

This baby haiku -
Four too few syllables -

Funky Zen Haiku

Cherry blossom monk
cannot read English haiku
but loves the Beatles

NSA Propaganda Haiku

Citizen is bad -
don't listen to Ed Snowden -
sleep on lillipad

Confused French Cow, Definitely Not Mad Cow Haiku

Muh muh said mad cow -
I'm not mad I just speak French,
muh is French for moo

(Strikethrough Haiku)

For last Strikethough Haiku go to

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Measure For Measure

I moved to Europe.
They measured weight by volume.
Completely absurd!

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first hue of light dawn

first hue of light dawn
redness swells in the background
over rooftops line

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Humorous Haiku

Springtime wanderlust -
amative evanescence -
kismet susurrus

Clouds float on a pond
 and a duck glides through the clouds
 paddling her jet streams
Moonbeams diffusing -
 through net curtains they shimmer
 bathing the dreamers
City scene at dusk - 
 Indigo sky, vapour trails
 police sirens, blue
Office air-con ducts
 zen-bee orchestras buzz -
 blasting heat at drones
Networking Planet -
 five-thousand friends and likes? - check.
 Lover? -..networking..
A passer-by, my..
 her gaze of Cleopatra -
 my heart butterfly

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A Haiku From A Lady Friend

Canada's my home So I've known real cold before Nipples scratched my car © Jack Ellison 2015

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Lost Art

Going to Utah
In busy sorting center
Fallen on the floor

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Chickadee -Airless Suburban Haiku-

Chickadee flies low looking for food he buried runs into a tree. Copyright © Cynthia Jones Jan.28/2013 I haven't penned one of these in a while.

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Preparing a Goose

a goose in a trance plucking and stuffing easy eyes start watering