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Free Verse Sorrow Poems | Free Verse Poems About Sorrow

These Free Verse Sorrow poems are examples of Free Verse poems about Sorrow. These are the best examples of Free Verse Sorrow poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse | |

A Wish -re-post-

A WISH -- In Memory Of 

"I Wish"

I wish I could blow air into your little lungs, 
The day my daughter brought your stillborn body into this world. 
Hold your little body warm, 
And tell my little girl you have her cute little nose....
Count your little fingers, and kiss your little toes....

I wish, 
I could look into your daring eyes, 
Facing a little boy, who's ready for this world
I wish,
I could tell my daughter you have her beautiful brown eyes...
Sadly, it’s not like that.
How can I tell my daughter everything will be all right?
When a piece of my heart was stolen with her's,
When giving birth to her son, my grandson 
March 25, 2013---- How it Hurts! 
~~~
O’ how I wish, you entered this world crying
Instead, we're the ones left in tears of sorrow
~~~
How I wish you could be, 
And not this feeling you left inside
How I wish, God could explain why o' why o' why?

Mostly, I WISH grandma could fix this, and make 
your mommy feel, the joy she was robbed of.

In memory of my grandson: ---Bael Lesley G.
Born March 25, 2013  ---   RIP March 25, 2013

----------
by;PD  :-(


Details | Free verse | |

Unfettered Words

Sometimes between the lines,
trembles the hallows of unspoken goodbyes,
expectant and charged, like a theater scene,
in the moments before the curtain rises.

In the dream that I've had,
I am southward bound, so it must  be early autumn.
Someone has turned a giant dimmer switch,
and the sky is grayer.....
Wild thorn-berries have been picked, all the branches are bare, 
the gutters are filling, and evenings are long.
Through the limbs of knotted trees, 
a sun flitters between light and shadow.

Leaves are adrift, disturbed,
littering the  twilight sky
with unfettered words,
clamoring against the leadlight of a window,
pleading to be heard.

Somehow, the leaves are swept away,
by a bridled hesitation.
No summer aria has been sung,
and the words go unsaid.
Leaves fall to the ground,
and the light leaves the world.

The red velvet drape descends,
leaving unfettered leaves, and unsaid words, adrift, in the dark.






______________________________________________
7/29/14
For The Contest "Vibrant Verse"  Sponsored By Charlotte Puddifoot


Details | Free verse | |

That Day, A Life Crushed

That Day, Life Crushed



I was resting on a lake dock that was in deep decay
it ran fifty yards out into the seamless water
that day my baby brother had went to swim with his friends
a normal summer day that shone with splendor
and peaceful was the soft blowing wind
only fate was awake and moving ever foward


there I was in peaceful solitude , resting
gazing at the lapping waves as they spoke
ignorant of what had taken place only moments before
the passing of a young and promising life, my brother


sun still beamed, wind still blew and life changed
a truck came racing across the bridge
I saw my best friend waving at me franticly
then I heard, I knew tragedy had befallen somebody
somebody I loved dearly


Moments later, the force of truth crushed me into a ball
it was as I feared, a death, an unimaginable horror
my baby brother was dead, my fourteen year old baby brother 
gone, gone , gone!


Electric current had destroyed his life
destroyed my life, sent me into a seven year rage
I said my goodbyes in a quiet rage and vowed that God, 
God would pay for this!
And so it began a terrible journey into a dark abyss 
one that consumed and slowly ate my soul
my soul it ate with relish and glee


I became a punisher of God!
Yes, such misery did I heap out by the bucket
by the ton and ate it's glory until-

Seven years later, light came into me as I slept
I woke one morning to find that the one punished was ME!
God had told me but I refused to hear
Now I heard and that truth crushed me again!


The road back took time but seven long years was over!
life returned, joy returned!
Majestic love returned to reclaim it's treasure-- my soul!


My soul rejoices to this day,
this day I see God stayed with me as I ran away!

I, he that runs no MORE!

Robert J. Lindley 06-30-2014

My first ever write about my brother, Billy Joe Lindley
fourteen year old and the girls adored him,
that summer electrocuted by a faulty electric pump at a 
friend's house by the river. 
1976, I think about him every day since, he was an angel compared 
to me and why, why did I live!


Details | Free verse | |

YOU

YOU

Your 
Uncaring eyes
Push me 
Repulsively 
Braise me down to a pit of abysmal. 
Your balance ego 
Keeps me on the void
Tainting my walls
While I, 
Twitch
Bitter 
Words 
Of yuck
Behind your back.

~SKAT~


Details | Free verse | |

A Summer To Remember

A Summer To Remember



Summer exhausted, the fall chill begins
    in those first days you and I fell
    into each other as water into the sea
    sunshine was you, light was all me
Winter's snows saw us meet its deep cold
    a team that danced in that icy glory
    sweet ink wrote our special story
Spring, our lives embraced a great renewal
    beautiful pictures sought we out
    tempting each into adventurous journeys 
Summer returned, I found your shadow had fled
    our love emerged from its sheltered cocoon
    seeking love anew, its past left dead

R.J. Lindley


Details | Free verse | |

FOR FELISHA CAT

You walk through my thoughts
With the same sure-footed command
You walked through the house.
Your pitter-patter of feet
Pounds like a drum in my head.
No bowl in your special corner...
You thrive on the meat of my mind.
No wrinkles on my bed
Where your purring body slept...
Just my heart, crumpled
By the weight of your absence.
Gold-green eyes
That flashed warmth like a smile
Now bring hot tears
To my eyes in remembrance.
My lap is empty and cold...
It cannot hold memories
Full and warm, 
Alive with your image 
And the comfort you were.
You walk through my thoughts...
And the pain of your footprints will pass.

© Sandra M. Haight 2014 
   All Rights Reserved

Contest: Animal Poem
Sponsor: Regina Riddle: Judged 9/30/2014
~First Place~


Details | Free verse | |

My Divide

Sitting here inside myself I suffer from the air around me as it steals my breath, Wonder if anyone notices this pain tormenting me so...I'm vulnerable around him and he can't even see it, this thing deep within, It burns so bad I can't stop it, My melody has left my soul as the inspiration abandons me with the sound of his footsteps leaving. Gone from my range of hearing, my knees buckle beneath me as I think of those who replace me, Those who are better off with him than I, My stars dull in the sky as my world falls apart, There is no light to break up this dark around me..No more looking at him to help spread my wings, They simply tremble an fall to the earth, His beauty no longer holds me up...this distance kills my heart every beat it takes, the fading of the colors engulf me I no longer see my dream.


Details | Free verse | |

Darkness Calling

Torment of lingering whispers from the ones we love stray in our minds, Each tear that breaks away our flesh cracks as it streams down our face, Their warm hug that once held us tightly in the cold and lonely days faded into the wind, You stand on the bridge looking down as the ice water rushes downstream, Shattering winds shred at our skin with horrid things on our mind of their touch from the lips you once knew so well, Your eyes close as you turn away from the water...hands embraced together as you hold you heart, One last tear slipping away as you plummet fast toward the ice, The splash engulfs you, The darkness beneath calling forth your body to the bottom as you drown in its abyss of ravaging wrath, So much pain we all live in we can only try to live with it and move on.


Details | Free verse | |

On Clouds High

Life is bountiful, pure and rich entwined around roots of corruption of tainted hate. Spreading ones wings means to be lifted by others to help them rise into the sky's above, Blissful is our soul ignited with fury of lustful woes, We take flight among the clouds soaring high above as the birds whisper in our ears songs of graceful fears, When all else fails and our wings fall fast our hearts keep us afloat in this big blue vast, Playing with the wind as it embraces us we twirl in its draft as the dark cloud lurks nearer, Dark in its deepest point the cold wind blows as trickling water falls from its abode, Landing on our flesh it smacks with great force knocking us breathless as we plummet to the earths floor, In these waking hours we are reminded that not all great things last, but that in some hard times there can be good times..even when pain may lead our sorrow into a happy place.


Details | Free verse | |

Inside Violence

The fog sets in as the gloom of pain and anger creep over the hill side reaching out to us, Engulfing our hearts and minds with hate towards the ones that cause us so much grief, Wishing we could step in and reflect the damage done to those we care so dear about, Unable to replace the horrid memories we sooth them as best we can, Digging deep within their souls trying to sew back each string bit by bit....Torment in our lives cause misery beyond belief, All we ask  for is pure joy and happiness, No such thing is bestowed upon anyone even those who deserve it, Stab the pain givers in their hearts with mental abuse of anguish in which they've given...make them suffer for the hurt they leave in their wake, Close your eyes...visions of how to ravage anothers body with your own torture deep within your mind, Actions wish to unleash such thoughts but alas we are stuck standing in front of the mirror as we bleed from the tear duct of our eyes, Hold strong be there for them...it's all we really can do anymore.


Details | Free verse | |

Finding Your Place

Silent in the darkness of each breath..inhaling this air we feed to the lungs within the beast of our inner torment, Ever cautious ever alert our presence creeps across the meadow as the mist protrudes from around us.. If only this demon could be sworn off, killed and defeated, left and feeling nothing to suffer in its own mindlessness, Yet we stand as it rips, tears and grows within us.. Changing our souls for everything it was once worth to something it turns into pure hate in a nightmare of a world, If we can't be ourselves...Then who can we truly be, We walk a fine line as the edge slips away from us we stumble to find ourselves within fighting off this beast...nothing we can do....nothing anyone can do...less we kill off the demon with the blade of our pure selves ripping its heart out and feeding it to our gorge of an abyss, If we can't be ourselves..then why try to be anything at all....haha..you will never be anything of any worth till you fend off the one thing that binds you to your own hate..your anger merely feeds it giving it strength as it grows within you, Stay strong and make the demon bleed...there's no rest for the wicked things that linger in your lives.


Details | Free verse | |

Moments In Time

The sweetest sounds of burning trees
A gentle stroking in the breeze
The calm has lasted past the storm
Cloudy visions, Satan’s roar
Too many sights have passed my way
A time found only in the haze
The softest screams are running bare
My aching bones creak as I stare

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark

The battle’s started at the end
No one is coming to repent
The sinners grab their wine from prey
No judgment calling here to stay
The sport is reckless to be told
The one is laughing at his souls
It falters nowhere to be sure
The power grows forevermore
Like a spirit in the wind
I have no say in where you’ve been 
But cross the line to come to me
And pay the price for ecstasy

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark. 


Details | Free verse | |

It Can't Be Real

A truth in rage of insult furrows my mind
For it is only an offense given to me by myself
In the mouths of others far innocent than I
I feel the tears trickle down my cheeks
For I have surfaced into an ugly mistake
I am always inadequate in this brain
I try to shine like the advice of grace given
But confidence rarely rears its head my way
There’s a sort of shade blocking its way
A shade that darkens everyday

That very shade led me to believe my feelings are wrong
That I will never belong so long as they are not controlled
I must be careful—for the lines of love and lust run cold
I hate myself truly this night
And no one but myself will give me the right
The very right to degrade my every being
Because you are not seeing what I am seeing

There is no point
My lines run cold
Can I be so bold as to say
I still love with a pang of indistinguishable doubt 
All feelings enter in
As my truth blurs and checks out

Your words pierce me so deep
I cannot describe the pain I feel
God it hurts so bad
It can’t be real

Much like the love I have come to embrace
The very love that links to your face
Tears don’t give it justice

It can’t be real
Much like the love I will never face


Details | Free verse | |

Bill


R.I.P. William Dale Eubanks
d. July 1, 2012, aged 68 yrs., Tennessee Ridge, Tennessee

Death came as no surprise
the first Sunday in July;
it claimed you, on a ridge in Tennessee,
with kin who took you in and waited with you
through the last hard days.
You kept what fears you had well hid,
did not betray with loud complaint
the fate you could not but know awaited.
A smile, a joke, a hug – exotic meals –
And genuine interest greeted all you met.
And you were, certainly, never boring
but well-traveled and smart
beyond the telling.
We’ll miss your wit, your bright demeanor,
and will remember all you freely gave ---
and what you took from us
with your passing.


Details | Free verse | |

Rebirth

Ignite,
The missing light,
Forget,
What's behind.
Just believe,
That love comes again...

'Cause,
The skies,
Are like a hard glide,
In a shining rainbow's light...

All dreams and fantasies,
Can be reality,
'Cause fantasy,
Is based on reality...
But all histories aren't the same...

'Cause,
Sometimes, we dive,
In our lives...

So,
Don't judge,
For what you see,
Judge,
For what it is...,
'Cause time passes,
But, memories remain...

And,
Listen,
To your heart,
'Cause,
The body, does,
The mind, thinks,
And, the heart, feels...,
While, the soul, lives...

So,
Always remember,
To remember the past,
To live the present,
And to wait and pursue the future...

Listen to your heart,
Before you are telling goodbye,
'Cause destiny,
Might lead to demise...,
But, remember that destiny can be changed...

Life is unpredictable,
But space and time,
Could be controlled...
And even if some die,
We may survive...

Remember,
That life,
Might have an endless beginning...

All that remains,
Is to be reborn...


Details | Free verse | |

Hounds from Hell

Hounds from Hell take their toll on your soul
as you walk the mainstreet of mainstream
and watch Saturn and Neptune dance to a simple tone
of silence in the outer space.
As you sit in the middle of the world
alone;
free yourself from the sense of hopelessness,
only see yourself in the mirror of deception
as your reflection laughs at you and looks right through you,
and doesn't have remorse for what it says or does to you.

Hounds from Hell take your soul,
chock you, cut of your air,
the smog and fog blind you in the city of ash.
Hear the hounds from hell howl for your soul,
go now, barracade your soul behind sins and temptation,
Alone, listening to your soul die away,
watch love go away from you, with suitcase in hand,
picture frames broken and collect dust through the sands of time.
Till the cleaning lady comes on Monday, to clean the mess
that you left behind.
You are gone, without a trace of ever returning.
Looks of the Hounds of Hell came for you and stole you from
comfort and warmth,
till the sorrowed heart cracks and pain spills out
and you look at it all spill out over the floor.
The Hounds from Hell have paid a consumable harmage to you,
and your rich soul of sorrowness burns away... slowly.

Fear darkens souls,
innocent souls burn with a new day,
a slumber that has no end
with nightmares haunting every light of hope
there is left in this desolate Wasteland.
Fear and darkness tears a hole in the darkened universe
and we all go to hell to see the Hounds,
who come for us all.
The graveyards fill,
and death guards the tombstones of the dead,
and the flowers burn away on the feet of the dead.

-10/14/2013-


Details | Free verse | |

SEA TEMPTRESS' PLEA


She is the fish-maiden of the night, a temptress that croons to the sky wading on gills of fondled thoughts, the bearer of one fine shipmate’s doom coasting on forbidden passion and trance. On waters’ edge before the stars pale, her body swivels before an ensnared time of charmed maneuver , a hesitant prowl; till the gentle fondness weeps a lonely desire. Laying her man on the crib of soft navel an aching dusk breaks a mermaid's tune ; his breath gasping against the shore while she clings to a howling wind, pleading for rescue into deep cave of moss. Suzanne Delaney's Mermaids new poem


Details | Free verse | |

Memory Lane

I took a trip down your memory lane
searched for myself 
but I was nowhere to be found
It seemed like you erased me
left me hidden beyond the shadows
rewrote your feelings
silenced our meaning

Everything looked the same
your mothers house
the swing 
the tree where I carved our names
the rose that I picked from the garden
it somehow was held in anothers hand

He was taller
more handsome
hair blowing in the breeze
I felt lost as I fell to my knees
how could you forget me with such ease

You more beautiful than I remember
A gorgeous angel born in September
Black hair and Raven eyes
seeing you made my spirit rise

I listened as you whispered his name
how could it be, mine was the same
was this all some silly game

Within your memory was an enhanced me
the two of us there kissing under that tree

On memory lane I'm who you wanted me to be





Trying something new, I reduced each stanza by one line.










Details | Free verse | |

He is sleeping

Frightened and tired
his eyes stare into the distance
as he once again faces reality
in the ghastly fate that dealt its lot.
Beads of sweat fall down like stars;
like the storm pounding outside his window.
This is the dawn he rises to every morning.

I take hold of his frail hand beckoning tenderness
as one would a knife to the chest.
Yet his weak smile defies the eminent death  
threatening to consume him.
He turns his gaze upon my eyes…
It won’t be long now…

The shadows lurk in his mind, 
but he glimpses a tear slipping from my cheeks
and says, “No regrets. No hate. No fear.
It’s time to wake up, slumbering one. 
The day is here.”

I manage a sorrowful smile 
and reply, “Your heart has already won,
my brave one.” As he lies back once more,
the soft beeps counting down his final few breaths slow.

“Aren’t they beautiful?” he dreamily asks.
Leaning closer, I inquire, “Who?”
“The angels are singing.” he sighs.

As the green line finally stretches to a flat horizon,
I whisper brokenly to the rain, “Shhhh.”…

“ He is sleeping.”

*(A tribute to children that have lost the fight against cancer.)


Details | Free verse | |

Suffocated

My biggest fear is to be alone with my thoughts,
To be surrounded by the past,
Swallowed whole by my mistakes,
Stalked by what could've been, what should've been,
And being eaten alive by the insecurity I mask day by day,
I guess it can be said that my biggest fear is myself,

The person that hides behind the red lips, the soft brown eyes,
Who smiles when internally she cries for help,
The person who is suffocated .


Details | Free verse | |

Timelessness is to Being

My past already lived,
my unknown future is the only place to travel-
beyond paradoxes or predictions,
 I could stand in a world beyond a human life span,
 There to begin again, a quest for knowing.


New languages, new laws, new temptations
or delights. 
 I cannot say how I will travel there,
 whether I step blindly into a parallel universe 
or use  velocity- based time dilation.

My imagination seems willing
but I feel stuck- in theories and Presentism. 
How could there be any greater mysteries
or  beauty  to be discovered?

 I think then of being childless.
 Somehow dreams for some new Utopia
 are cancelled and I

awake and sleeping
hold hands with solitude.

Suzanne Delaney

May 17th.
For Dave's Imagination Contest.


Details | Free verse | |

True Agony

I have drunk from the cup of Sorrow,
Yet my thirst has not been slaked.
So I drink from the cup of Pain,
And I have slaked my thirst at last.

For I now bear the fruits of agony,
Because I have drunk from both cups.
I know Pain,
My closest friend.

I know Sorrow,
My dearest comfort.
I can not turn my back to the pain,
Nor to the sorrow.

They are my allies,
And yet, they are also my enemies.
I can not run from either,
But nor can I stay with them.

My heart is broken,
I know true agony.
For my friend, my mentor,
You are now the deceiver, the traitor.

I will walk this earth,
Bearing both pain and sorrow in my heart.
Nothing will ease my burdens,
For now I am the bearer of Agony's greatest triumph.


Details | Free verse | |

Passage to Beyond

Passage to Beyond

Our loved ones leave this world
 softly fading
 a secret smile playing 
upon their lips
What do they see beyond the mist?
Is someone there? Waiting?

Others volunteer to disappear from this place
thinking it is the only solution 
to their heart shattering
from events old and new
Seeking relief at any cost
no thought beyond this selfish act.

Others, beloved forever,
leave this plane in a rush of fire,
fear, fury and bravado
so careless of the ones left behind
to mourn, to miss, to try to 
fit the pieces together again.

…..and if we watch...listen...very carefully
we will see....hear...our dead creeping back
to collect their footsteps.

Trisha Sugarek
Moths and Machettes


Details | Free verse | |

Blood Of Birth

The secret she holds imperatively,
Locked inside cracked and bleeding lips.
Around her neck lies the skeleton key,
Awaiting the woman's seeking fingertips.
A Pandora 's box filled with sin,
Rests within her still beating heart.
Only a sentence is contained within,
'The world as we know to be torn apart.'
Animal rises by the bell's hollowed toll,
Dusk of desire to engulf and originate.
Restlessness becomes lack of control,
Energy merges and to the night she consecrates.
A cry, a sorrow; all of her distanced soul,
She builds her walls with stone and earth.
When broken, anger unable to be consoled,
Tormented by the blood of her birth.


Details | Free verse | |

Lamenting Spirit

Seemingly standing alone,
In the shadows of doubt and fear,
Lost, cold, forgotten,
Cold is the grasp of death that nears

Seeking a hand in darkness of solitude,
Wishing for nothing but a love,
Turned away, cast aside, borne not even a stray, lone thought,
Towering aloft, looked down upon from far above

Throned so high overhead, just as kings of old,
Glared down upon, a lowly tear forsaken so,
Caught within a trap, drowning, mists of sorrow,
A voice unheard, a voice deserted, only a voice in woe

Wandering such great, forlorn paths,
A derelict mind harshly beat, a mind that has since long been vacant,
Rove, this neglected child does,
One mind among so many, outcast, this dolor mind abeyant. 


Details | Free verse | |

shadows return

one  looks
in the mirror
missing something
my shadow
a true 
love dead

would go 
to hell and back
to find my love
looking back 
my reflection
a ghost 
of who i am

have you taken 
my soul
like a vampire 
you drained me
everything is night
you sucked 
the life of me

grey expressionless
a fake smile
looking back at me
in the mirror 
my reflection
slowly one's 
soul returns

my future looking
in a crystal ball
the cavity 
of my skull
lost in a reflection
awaiting
 my shadows return
looking purely 
for love

~ ~ ~ ~ ~


Details | Free verse | |

Felo-De-Se Dream

I just drank a fifth of vodka
A lot on my mind
I start crying
But not because I'm sad or scared
It just feels like I'm supposed to
Razor blade in my hand
Ready to cut my flesh
First I slit my neck
Then both wrists
See the blood drip
Feel it running down my skin
Hear it hit the floor
Smells great
One taste & reality hits
Blood is gone
No cuts
Or tears
A voice says,
"This is your future"
Then I wake up


Details | Free verse | |

Devil's Hidden Ranch

DEVIL'S HIDDEN RANCH

Coyote howl, dogs growl
Gunshots, dead cow
Red barn left unlock
Horse shoe upon death's door
Tequila in a cup
Salt of cocaine, shadows of insanity
Guitar string, sad song
Bandit near the door, wife on the floor
Hallucinating---Reality
Yelling out her name, he's gone insane
Loaded gun, life is done
Far and near ending his intoxicating fear
The road under the sun
A coward in his path
Responding to the Devil's wrath

In a Hidden Ranch in Mexico!!!!!!
       
:)   SKAT


Details | Free verse | |

Truths

I feel that some
people have a hard
time
with the truths
around us,
not only the sexual
abuse by priests, 
but all the bad
things
I call it chosen
ignorance

Ignorance is found
in people who,
if confronted with
certain truths,
realize that they
have to accept them
and thereby
acknowledge evil
and that frightens
them
It is too hard,
period.


Details | Free verse | |

Heart of the Sea

           Essence of salt and waves crashing
           The World of the Sea has a heart
            Careful not to offend thee ~

            The spills of oil , nuclear waste
             Drilling and mistakes, 
           Man infused sewage and waste 

           The capture of Fish while Dis guarding a life of a Dolphin
           The Sea and its very Mystery is crying as all fish dying
           Is there a place and time where we stop and love what was given

          The Heart of the Sea not to ever be underestimated
          For when sadden great wrath will fall in sequence with wind
          Water and Wind can create its Heart broken fiercely without mercy

          What have we done to create this disharmony 
           It is not hard to see as Tsunamis and Hurricanes such as Katrina unfold
           It is the Heart of the Sea Broken , The heart of the Sea Spoken 
    
           We hear her Heart , we feel her wrath , 
                The Heart Of The Sea ...this Heart cries 
                    This Heart is angry , will we take responsibility ?


Details | Free verse | |

We Welcome You - With Open Arms -

 I don’t know why I cry
I’m drenched in silence…
I don’t know why 
You’re flooding my mind tonight…
I run around wildly, trying to erase the thought of you, but I hesitate
I don’t want to accept this fretful state I’m in…
I don’t want to face this dilemma that’s leading me to my fate 
Are you a part of my crew? Don’t bottle up the tears from deep within
Are you a part of my crew? We’ll support you through thick and thin
Your face is decorated with elegance!
Your words are articulate with reverence!
Forever, 
I feel that my mind is giving in to 
Grief’s gravity…but don’t lose hope or feel unsure
I saw the sun and I welcome it with open arms
I saw the sun…
I welcome it with open arms
I welcome it with open arms
I saw you ascending from your resting haven, 
Hoping that it will melt my doubts and fears away
You are a dream come true…you are as fresh as morning dew!
You are a dream of reality – not a myth or fantasy
Your miracles were bestowed upon me out of the blue
You knew what was in my heart – hope, faith and curiosity 
Promise me you won’t depart from the illuminating knowledge
You are stronger than you realize,
You are not alone
& you are not a failure!
How did you know my heart was full of hope, faith and curiosity?
Did you sense my appreciation towards you? You set me from captivity! 
You set me from captivity!
You set me from captivity!
You made me feel ecstasy and serenity on another level!
You are a peace-abiding angel
You are a peace-abiding angel, not a wicked devil!
Promise me you won’t depart from the illuminating knowledge
You are stronger than you realize,
You are not alone
& you are not a failure!
Your halo is illuminating the dark of night
I can’t believe you saved me from a horrible plight
Your halo was my flashlight in the dead of night
Think of Him during your obstacles
Fight the good fight and you’ll soon find the light
You’ll find the light at the end of the tunnel,
You sweet, darling, peace-abiding angel!
I hope I can encourage you to go
I have faith that you won’t go with the flow
Your faith towards Him will grow!
Unfortunately, the wicked wind will violently blow
I implore you to go run the extra mile…
Go run the extra mile…
Stay here with me for a while…
Stay here with me for a while…
Stay here with me for a while!
Oh Lord, I pray to you before the dawn…
You built me up with might and everything’s black and white
Everything’s black and white
You reassured me that everything will work out alright
Everything will fall into place
If you could play your role well and ring those hopeful bells,
Then we’ll be able to share the attitude of gratitude and grace
No longer drenched in farewells… no longer locked up in solitude cells
Promise me you won’t depart from the illuminating knowledge
You are stronger than you realize,
You are not alone
& you are not a failure!
Come on and join us
As we welcome the sun
We welcome the sun
We welcome the sun
We welcome you with sunlit glee and open arms . . . 


Details | Free verse | |

Grandma

There's not much to say.
I knew her, know some things,
but certainly not all.

I know how little she put up with fools,
how her cooking surpassed so many others',
how simultaneously sweet and hard she could be.
I know about her smoking,
about her jewelry, her faith,
all these I'll hold close to me.

Every single spark, every star,
shines with such a glow, such a marvelous radiance,
that we can't gaze too closely at it,
lest we cause ourselves pain.
And yet, despite ourselves, again and again,
we do;
because it's not within us to resist
the sheer beauty of it all,
of stories and of life.

A bouquet of tulips for you.
We all miss you already, Grandma.
I miss you.
I know Heaven's got you, taking no guff as always,
making sure we're all doing alright.
I love you.
Andrew James (McGillicutty) Sprouse


Details | Free verse | |

My Boredom Disease

Like sick allergies, 
Boredom can be passed around
I call it: THE BOREDOM DISEASE

Like a horrid storm,
Boredom can catch you off guard
Hold on for DEAR LIFE!

Like the whooping cough,
Boredom can be serious
If I were you, I’d
Get a vaccination ! 


Details | Free verse | |

A seed of love planted in the soil of my heart

I sailed unaware into 
the ocean currents 
of her life:
and 

smitten, I 
desired to ride 

them with her;
somewhere 
along 
the ocean ways, a 

seed of love 

planted in the soil of
my heart had taken root 
and grew--only to perish 
like 

a young hope 

that's fleeting:
though I loved her, 
she 

still wounded
me 

like a careless 
knife. 

In spite of 
this and myself, 
I looked 

for encouragement
in her stare; 
and 

at the outlines 
of her graceful 
form 

I did wonder: 
she was 

indeed 

a Helen of Troy, a prize, 
on whose loveliness 
I 

so richly gorged! 

But never was 
a lonely man 
more wretched 
than 

I was, 

as she could 
not return my
affections  

with equal measure of feeling.  

I would be more
glad had she been 
unwedded to another,
and   

could easily be within 
my desirous 
and
jealous 

orbit! 

In time, I 
never 

saw 
her again;

and love, or the 
appearance of it--like 
an aborted 

fetus

flushed down the 
toilet--died 

with her parting 
as well!



Details | Free verse | |

Love, Death, and Rebirth

The signs started in December
When she started waking up in tears each night
She was a normal girl with dark brown hair and darker brown eyes
She had plenty of friends and a loving family with just one thing missing
Her father. 

Days passed by and turned into weeks but only felt like a few seconds
Her life just whizzed by faster and faster until it was just a whirr in front of her eyes
Darkness filtered into her heart and mind until she didn't know if she could go on
But she had to. She couldn't let her mother and her sister drown in this same pain
She wouldn't let them.

She pushed all the darkness into the depths of her own heart
In hopes to save the hearts of the two people she had left
Because what else was there to live for now?
The rest of her world had crashed and her mother and sister was all that was left 
She wouldn't let them drown in pain too. 

She watched as they started to heal in her loving arms
Their hearts started to lighten up once more
But hers was just as dark as it was before 
And growing darker day by day 
But she wouldn't let that stop her. 

Suddenly a year had passed... and then two 
It only seemed like seconds to her but everyone else started moving on
Her mother and sister no longer needed her nurturing care
But she needed someone to hold on to
Anyone...

With nothing left for her to take control of, the dark pushed past her boundries 
It found a way into her soul
Until all she could see was dark and no light 
But her mother and sister were healed now
They didn't understand

The tears came back and engulfed her soul
Bit by bit until she wasn't sure why she was still alive
The grief took over like knives 
Piercing her skin over and over and over
It hurt so much.

She started to wonder what it'd look like to be dead
She could see him again if she was
Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to endure this pain?
Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to live knowing she'd never see him again?
It would.

So she started to hate herself
All that negative energy was starting to take toll
Everyone around her was breathing while she suffocated more and more by the second
She wished she'd just choke already instead of living in constant pain
If no one would put her out of her misery, she'd have to do it herself

She couldn't see any light anymore
So she grabbed the pill bottle off the shelf and just hoped it wouldn't take long to die
Deep down she still had a spark of light, but she just couldn't find it 
And now it was too late in her mind to change, to turn back and try to look deeper
She was done living.

That's when people started to notice that everything wasn't as peaceful as it seemed
They started to see how deeply depressed she had become
They wanted to help her see the light again before it was too late 
So they sent her away to see doctors and to take pills to make everything better
It was a start.

She didn't see a change at first but suddenly she could think clearly
Maybe what they were doing was actually going to help her see the light again
Yes, she still wanted to die, but maybe that wasn't the only option anymore
They cared,  and behind all their own problems they were trying to understand
They really were trying

Six months longer she would be treated and cared for
Until suddenly she was sent home from her treatment and care with a smile on her face
She had a new perspective
Someone had helped her ignite that spark in her heart until it was a glowing ember
She had been reborn

Sometimes you have to be able to experience the worst of it
To come back shining brighter than before
And if she had died that cold day in October, she wouldn't of ever seen the best of it
Or known that it would get better
and it did!

And she now sits at her laptop, with a smile on her face and warmth in her heart
It's never been an easy road and it won't ever be
But at least she knows she's lived through the worst
And it can only get better from here

So whenever she feels lonely or gets back into that dark spot again
She can look back on what she's learned and can read this poem
And remember that she survived the darkest depths of depression
And she will continue to survive it as long as she lives
Because she is stronger now than she ever was before ?


Details | Free verse | |

The Autumn Affect

There's something unspecific about the autumn nights
A certain shade of color that uplifts my inner child's eyes
Beside a cashmere moon Venus and Jupiter shine bright
Complimented by a sea of blinking infinite twilight
The scent of burning oak lingers in the air from home made fires
Reminiscent of a time when this man was just a child
Careless and so free to dream and any dream to live
Like feathers floating across a field carried by the wind
As a gentle breeze blows through the leaves shivering delightful gloom
Unlike flowers of springtime the disheveled autumn vibrance bloom
Leaves crackle beneath my feet along the skeleton tree path
Where I try to find my peace or a song to make me laugh
The air is so much crisper and also soothing when I breathe it in
Underneath a starry sky and brighter constellations of Heaven
Amidst the trail I pass a lovely couple holding hands
While their children run aside frolicking in a playful dance
An old man and his wife admire the view from a wooden bench 
With smiles on their face as if nostalgia is still their closest friend
Its these specific autumn affects that bring me sorrows and joy
Reminding me of all theses things Ive wanted as a man since I was a little boy 
Its times like these that I wish I wasn't always so alone
Because I would light an fire with my family and call it home


Details | Free verse | |

The Old Salt

The Old Salt was a special man who came along in a time
when he was needed most.

A time that is now gone forever.
When men believed and sacrificed, when hero’s walked the earth in mass.

When patriotism was not just a word
but,
by what men lived and judged the worth of each, 
a man who lived a life most of us cannot comprehend. 

An era now gone as this warriors tour of duty ends at this station, 
and begins anew in the heavenly fleet. 

Sail on Sailor into your unaccompanied tour,
we salute you.

What greater honor, that when a man moves forward, 
he leaves behind in each of us the best of what he was. 

A defender, protector, supporter, victor, a warrior, 
the last of the breed from an era when ships were made of wood
and men were made of steel.

The Old Salt has reported for duty that takes him away from us for now. 

Those of us who remain behind,
remember, and will continue to remember, 
because he now resides forever in our hearts.

As I look up at night, I envision The Old Salt,
a beret draped just above the eye, 
as he draws upon his pipe, 
quietly he waits.
The guardian of heaven’s gate.



Details | Free verse | |

Thinking Of You

I remember happiness,
No more,
No less,
Only true love.

I imagined,
You beside me...

I remember your eyes,
I remember your lips,
I feel your love,
I know your life...


Details | Free verse | |

Sweet child of mine

The stars they used to bring tears to my eyes
Dark skies, I cried as I prayed for daylight
You were my fragment of pain
I became swallowed in memorys of darkness
That used to come and go so haunting, the loss of you
Still is killing me, for you were gone so suddenly..

My first child
My first love
Now all I have left
Are the stars above
Not to mention
The glow of the moon
That always reminds me
That you were taken too soon
Tears fall down my cheeks
When your name is spoken, that's when 
These demons become awoken
The heartbreak
The despair
Losing your child
Is too much to bear
Sleepless nights
Dreams full of terror
Seeing the pain in your eyes
Everytime you look in the mirror

I can look at the stars now
With hope, instead of pain
You my child, did not die in vain
You will live through me, glow bright star
Glow.. Glow for me
And for all of 
The mommys to see
Be my guidance, keep me from the ledge
To you child, this I pledge:

I see your glow and I can now smile
Though I might shed a tear every once and a while
Just because, I'm missing you
But I promise I will pull through

Thank you spirits
Thank you stars
For welcoming my child
With open arms
Keep him safe
Give him love
And let him know I am with him
Everytime I look above..


Details | Free verse | |

On A Lonely Bench

Sitting on a lonely bench,

Memories got me blenched,

Your heart I tried to clench,

Though, the rains got me drenched,

From hearts I needed to entrench...

 

Your words not retrenched,

From things I wanted to bent,

While you often tended to bend,

Without letting me mend...

 

You, I tried to fend,

You borrowed and erased te times I used to lend,

Manipulated and used by you,

Pretending to be a friend...

 

From hallows I scended

From errors you descended,

My life wished to be attended.

Even though, you got me expended,

My hands were still extended,

Even though, you got me offended...

 

The times I misspended,

You still condescended me,

Though, the changes were about to be impended,

I was still amended,

And I was still intended...

 

But, I was not comprehended,

Even though, you were condemned and untamed,

While I was aimed to be blamed,

Still, more thing you wanted to borrow and gain...

 

Although, this is the end,

The ways, I will paint,

For the pains to get unbended,

As I contemplate nature and life,

With memories that swayed and portended,

As my soul slowly transcended,

While sitting on a lonely bench...


Details | Free verse | |

A Goodbye from All of Us

From that day to the next week, snow, rain and sleet -no sun.
Everything surrounding us is black,
Precious presents become precious past
Blurred cloudy water filling our vision
All together we grip, holding tight to memories taken,
Memories that have become dreams at night and haunt are days.
Were you ever here, my friend?
We whisper what could have been.


Details | Free verse | |

Scars left behind

My scars do not define me…
They make me.
They are not wrongs from the past,
they are lessons for a new beginning…
They’ve opened my eyes
to what I was too shallow to see,
too deaf to hear…
and too cowardly to speak…
They are no longer the chains
that would drag behind me…
They are what set me free.


                                                    Jessica Kuilan


Details | Free verse | |

The River Of Life

They walked together side by side -
the old man and the boy
on the bridge across the river
They could have walked thus 
across the river of life
with its eternal flow
I watched them
and thoughts filled my mind
of the un-bridged gap
between their lives

The old man -
with faltering step
he moves slowly on
His life has  been lived
and his house is in order
as he patiently awaits
the call of his maker
What are his thoughts 
at this moment 
as he moves on?

Are they thoughts of pain and sorrow
over some incident in the past
so difficult to bear
that after all these years
the wound is not yet healed?

Are they of someone he loved as a youth
but lost through folly?
Was she beautiful?
Did her eyes sparkle 
like the sunlight 
on the water below?
He looks at the water
sighing deeply
and nods his head

Or is he thinking of the young one at his side
so innocent
so pure
soon to be plunged into a world 
where life rushes madly on?
How shall he fare?
Who will warn him of the pitfalls?

These thoughts plague the old man's mind
and hurt his noble heart
But then he smiles as he remembers
that in his younger days
his eager spirit wanted to taste and feel
the sting of life's joys and sorrows 
by itself

There is no substitute for experience
for though we know we may be hurt
in love or life
yet we walk on toward the very thing
that may hurt us so


Details | Free verse | |

My Future Generation

I can act insane
But DO NOT 
Make me feel worthless

I belong in God’s family
He will bless my future generation

Don’t punish me for
Being myself –
Don’t envy my glee 

I can act like an
Adult, but I’d 
Prefer to have joy…

Not stress…
That piles upon us in our 
Everyday lives

Being childlike is

A rare beauty – 

No one prizes it…

No one came across it…

In this lifetime…

I can laugh all day
I can make you smile
If you’d accept my 
Childlike dreams of mine
Don’t treat me like a sick swine

Renew my young heart
Give me the ability 
To kill the old man…

I have my place in God’s family
He’ll be adored and glorified 
We’ll exchange prayers and hugs  
By my future generation

I beg of you – 
Don’t kill my childlike mentality
I’ll behave myself…
I’m positively sure that I’ll make you happy

I’ll still have pieces of a child in me

And pass it on to my future generation…


Details | Free verse | |

Cheese monster

I remember 
dancing for joy 
Sitting on an open shelf 
This beautiful maiden 
Strolls into the shop 
As my eyes whistled 
She picked me up 

Holding me in her hands 
Smiling down at me 
Excited 
Oh I love 
Words had trembling effect 
with this cheese 

Taking me home 
You took a little bite 
A little taste
Nibbling 
Out of me 
Lips softly grin
bursts in flavour 
Almost cheesy 
Licking delicious 

Opening a door 
You placed me 
on top shelf 
Felt like royalty 
Lights out wow 

The last face 
I remembered 
Ever so beautiful 
Weeks pass 
Feeling almost 
out of date 
Left in the dark 

A smell started 
in fungus hair 
Taking over 
almost septic 
Crawling green 
in mildew 

Beautiful maiden 
Awaiting you in dreams 
You open the door 
Squealing out 
Monsters 
in the fridge 

All I done 
was shout cheese 
Smile darling 
I am 
all yours 
Sweet love 

Thrown in a bag 
Broken hearted 
with the rubbish 
Shouting 
That's me done 
With cheese 

It was so sad 
The green hairy 
old monster 
Began crying 
Now smile 
for cheese 

As you will not like 
To see the ugly side 
Of the green 
hairy old 
Cheese monster


Details | Free verse | |

Only in You

Through the lonely woods, I may head,

Upon the autumn leaves, I may tread,

At the secluded horizon, I may stare,

And only you, I may see,

In those symphonies of silence,

In those melodies of calmness,

In those euphonies of quietness.

 

By the silent lake, I may lay,

Till the twilight fades, I may stay,

Then in reclusive silence, I may walk,

And only to you, I may talk,

Through those toungueless emotions,

Through those wordless attachments,

Through those voiceless sentiments.

 

In the lone meadow, I may wander,

Along the untrodden paths, I may waver,

In companionless seclusion, I may hide,

And only in you, I may find,

The depths of oneness,

The bonds of togetherness,

The cozy feel of coalescence.

 

In the wilderness of emotions, I may die,

At the merciless daggering, I may sigh,

Through a million wounds, I may bleed,

And only in you, I may seek,

The balm of love,

The warmth of affection,

The heal of inseparability.


Details | Free verse | |

IF ONLY I COULD CATCH THE SUN, ever so softly


I try to ignore the squirming Hyde within 
And, with effort still,
I raise myself for the last traces 
of sunshine and fun.
What was left of the day, I savor for me. 
As the withering leaves of silence
have perfected the petals of stillness,
A quietude.
Such absence of sound
Never a serenity to the mind.
Disturbing solitude haunts.
Loneliness seems vivid as reality speaks 
Even the poignant sadness never parts
Solitary confinement paints an art.

Like the spectator in a thousand theatre plays,
 I achingly wait for the final curtains to part.
Then, as always expected -  
Left were the 
    dancing curtains 
       together with the late sunset wind. 
Tiny golden flecks 
   imprinting on the soft white 
        laces and trims.
Catching shadow images 
    of the last rays of brilliance, 
         blending slowly in yellow embers,
              forming orange coals, 
                   turning into sunkissed glow 
                         of a sad goodbye. 
Then,
    ever so softly fading
           into dullness and cloudless cold. 


And as the night falls, 
its shadowy self dances 
against the moonlit music of silence.
I listen and search still 
   for what is left. 
No traces of the sun 
whose magnificence and radiance 
had touched the leaves of laughter 
during my daytime slumbering; children frolicking, 
    early had the mind sensing. 
And, gone astray were the seeds of kindness 
    the day had grown.
It seemed they were sown 
    by someone I wish I had known. 


If only I could frolic 
    where little lads had been early today - 
        in the meadows, 
           by the pond, 
              along the shores, 
                  around friendly trees and smiling flowers, 
                       with the meadowlarks and chirpy games, 
                               I’d give away anything.
Basking in the sun on such a lemony day, 
someone sulks to find it's an emotional burn. 


If only I could catch the loveliness of the sun, 
I'd give away anything. 
ANYTHING. 
Just for something this grand. 


The mind wills but the heart groans. 
A moment of joy and laughter, so fleeting.
Forgot me, gave away the troubles. 
Today could be A DAY,
If only, ever so softly,  I could catch the sun.



Details | Free verse | |

Giving In To The Gray

Overwhelmed with fear I whispered into the rain
Disarming defenses, Giving in to the gray 
Tearing down all of my shelter within my hollowed decay
While this echoing silence gave every tear drop a name
They begin filling the voids with mundane hopes for a change
Heaven will save me from this hell and blue skies will reign
Lazily lay in green grass watching clouds drift away
It's all but a deflated dream now that the colors have changed
My thoughts have become restless noise of uncertainties rearranged
Damning all of my emotions, lies decorated with grace
Now I stand with a hardened heart in the sobering autumn rain 
I'm disarmed and defenseless, Giving in to the gray


Details | Free verse | |

Whistle

Running, after more than you, can hold.
Taking, someone else’s love, and leaving.
Children are fearful of what they’re told.

Can’t you see I’m the one who’s freezing?
I was just a child with a trinket 
Never knowing that it’d be, more to me

When you were gone to, too far, from me.
Steady with your hands close to my heart
Never letting our world’s tear us apart

I know, your icicles 
I miss the beaches that we played on
You missed the child in your own eyes

Now you’re gone, 
But I’m still not here.
Why can’t you wake up 

I’m not ready
Please, just take your time, don’t leave now
I can’t fight this world alone.


Details | Free verse | |

Thoughts of You

Random thoughts of you run
randomly throughout my mind,
as I hold, looking through a simple picture of you and I,
smiles and holding each other,
embracing warmth brings me to sanity,
watching your hand on my forearm,
as you gaze into my eyes.
Oh the tears flood such emotion,
only you and I now in such madness we call love,
such madness we all call life,
such madness we all call reality.

Thoughts of me without you,
I cannot bear to see such a sight in mind,
to hear such words that tear my heart out
and sadness stabs me rapidly in the back,
and I can't bear to see such a sight as this.
Thoughts of you
running randomly throughout my mind,
my hair turns silver and white with stress
of not being with you,
and my liver covered with cancer,
and lungs black with smoke,
and stomach embraced with ulcers.

All I ask for you,
is not to be a thought anymore,
and come back to me in flesh and bone
in a portrait painting of you in reality
come to me with your beauty and glory
and kind heart and hold me again,
and let me kiss you again and love you again,
and call you mine again.
Don't say it is impossible,
when you know and I know,
that it is in fact possible
to love each other once again.


Details | Free verse | |

Take Me

They played reverse psychology with his mind He felt so stupid Like everything he had ever believed was a lie The auras are bad, we continued to say They are not good Test the spirits…test the spirits He went haywire He pushed away How could we blame him? His body was not his own Come to grips, we told him The doctors don’t understand But still we must not jump to conclusions You are strong; you have God The upper hand If I lift this bed will you think otherwise? Lift the entire world and I will see nothing of you You are nobody compared to him in my eyes Your wonders are for wonderment alone You wander and then you stay You prey prey prey Those that prey desire nourishment Those who prey lack strength And to grab onto the youngest Mistaking him for stupid and weak That is below everything unworthy That is just pathetic Whatever you are You are not him And surely not worthy of a line of acknowledgement You hurt my closest friend And it is on You will be the reason The fire of my claws flare You will be the very thing I will devour It preyed on his innocence It made itself his friend Acting the hero Burning him to nothing in the end Come to grips, we said No more writing No more imagination The auras are not good He is not good! Laura is not good! Life life life is not good! You prey on a sick, young boy You are messing with a demon like me! I will tear you to shreds for the next flaw you set fire to! Believe me I will hide more under the timbers And I will crawl out Spewing perversity and hate And drag you in with me True colors will surround you I realize you have the power To kill my loved one I stake alone I hand the burning torch to you And with fire surrounding me I spit and hiss Take me Take me instead I know you want all And all live in me You cannot turn down my offer Become me And I will destroy me


Details | Free verse | |

Words of Life

Drowning in the pool of anguish…oh…oh…
I’m venturing into the forest…and I want to hear the words seep out 
Release these aching sorrows…I worry my soul’s drying out…
like a drought…
Drain out the fluids from my heart
It’s gouging me…bruising me to the core…

**chorus** 
Embrace the light…embrace the midnight sky…
You fall in my arms – you die so warm
Shed me more sun to lift up my spirits
From the…underground…and release me – I’m breathless
I’m drowning in doubt…ooh… oh… 


Remember me…I’m falling…into my swirling fate…hanging on the roots 
Strangling my heart…distorting in my veins… I’m bleeding so softly – cut out the wood…
Splintering me…I’m shattering… and I’m falling in the abyss
Bring me more radiance from my candle light
Warp me up in bliss…don’t let the midnight sky…don’t take away my delight
From the…ocean…and save me—save me…oh… oh…  I’m failing 

*chorus*

I’m drowning in regret…ooh..oh…
Hit the bull’s eye in my heart…embrace the light
And don’t leave me hanging in the abyss…hand me a kite!
Save me before I fall apart…shut out the night
And don’t let the dusk escape us…

I must confess…
I must confess…
I hate to see you abandon the light…
But I’m not the one to save you from the night
Ooh…ohh…

*Chorus* 

Splintering lies fill your heart 
I want to kiss it goodbye…
But you’ve mastered it like a piece of art
I want to kiss the abyss and die…
Dry… I wanna touch the sky with my whole soul
But I’m failing and the end of time has taken its toll
Tainted sorrow…swims around me…I dwell where the waters depart
But the anguish still swarms in my heart…
I’m failing…my heart stops beating
And my desires are fleeting
From my grasp
And the monsters laugh at me…as I fall… 

*chorus*

Embrace the midnight sky…catch me…catch me…
As I fall in death’s arms…I die so cold
And your heart is made of gold

Untangle the darkness & take away the nightmares 
Answer our prayers & block out the night 
Erase the heartaches & wipe away our tears
Unravel Your words of life & delight


Details | Free verse | |

Betrayed

The thought of all trusts,

Was it all just rust?

The thought of all confidence,

Was it because of your insolence?

The thought of all friendship,

Was it all just dissonance?

Was it all just lies?

 

The thought of all immanence,

There was no innocence,

Was it all just imminent trust?

Was it all your fickleness?

Was it your falseness?

Was it enough faith for equivalence?

There was fading ambivalence...

 

Was I blinded by wistfulness?

Was i blinded by your words?

Was it your defiance?

Was it all about rebelliousness?

Are we going to be strayed?

Were we going to divagate?

Was I being a black swan?

 

Did you want to disarray?

Did I need to back away or just run away?

I was being manipulated over again...

Kindness is hard to give now...

Did you want to lead astray?

Are you really a friend?

 

Did you want to push me away?

Did you want to cut me away?

Did you want to break me away?

Weren't we going all the way?

You are going too far away...

You were just looking away...

 

With my tears shedding,

Will you just turn away?

Might I just fall down?

Must the world just fade away?

Was it all just waste?

Was it all already traced?

Was it all degrading?

Are you corrupted?

Am i devalued?

My unshakeable perception and unbrakeable soul,

Were they deceived?

 

All I need now is a shoulder,

Where my tears can be shed and impregnated.

A hug,

Where my bones brake of forgotten joyfulness.

A trust,

Where my biggest secrets will be kept.

A hand,

That can keep helping inconditionally.

Eyes,

That could see me for who I am.

A heart,

Where infinite solid bonds could be created.

And a soul,

Where my soul could be free and unbrakeable...

 

All because of your hypocrat double play,

I was betrayed...


Details | Free verse | |

A Modern Confession for a Dying Beggar

Die and crave-
Make me not hear your story,
Though I like to see you gaze
By the end of the day.
Tremble when you see me
As though I were a chill
Perhaps I am the soft care-
Taker of your bones.
Should I remember traces
Engraved by your moans,
I shall endorse those bywords
Equating you with me
You think I have to treat you
Indeed, I loathe your mother
I’d rather you were unseen
So that I shed you no tear.
Your father stole my fresh air
And so do you from me now;
Unless you give up breathing
My true blood will be bother’d.
O, please, forgive my true words-
They planned to vex your ego
They gather’d all my reasons
To help you rest in peace.
But, though you shall be tasting
The acrid sweat of my ease,
At least, allow my goodness
To sweat for all old beggars.


Details | Free verse | |

The Last Fall

Gabbled by the emptiness in the deaf of silence
Drowned by the turbulent liquid nailed the limbs
Echoing the rambling alphabets formed into sprite
Roaming around the corner of her head

Trapped by own shield, locked by own shadow
Inviting the cliff to come for grief
Couldn't glimpse the hole of little sunlight 
Ready to fall and kiss the soil

Heavy shoulder commanded the head to bow
And altered the eyes to be blinded
For the cruel tail of some
Cursed her lofty flight to grasp the highest life

Unspeakable lips lived by white sand
Storm handled the massive sighs of hers
Counting silently the ruined pages
She who quoted to be gigantic in the wild eyes


Details | Free verse | |

Self Knowledge in the Aftermath

 
I remember now. Something was heavy, a winged
dragon that refused to fly from my chest
My eyes were secret mirrors, or a doomsday judge.
I remember morning as a flighty horse,
or like a new school year,
that first careful sentence written on a page.
 
Time became a sequel. Roads were rootless trees
racing by - Fog an x-ray – the night, annoying as a fly.
I had a misconception and her assumptions followed 
every stray dog. I quivered hollow with a frantic yellow zest.
I ate from a dish of nutmeg.
 
I woke to the sound of dying frogs, impossible spiders
trapping rainbows in their webs, the nebulous orbit
of knick knacks in the room, my reach
too small for a mother’s heart.
 
Her seeds had such an element of surprise, her 
plum lipstick, the zing of frayed nerves
she mocked death with a cup of sunshine
she kept an artist’s palette - adding
color to existence
 
Too late, the impossible demand on angels
Each bitter thought the baroque decomposing
of an empty optimism
My keyless lock - emotion


Details | Free verse | |

Playful Love-Fate

The beat of a heart moving fast
Reaching out the last breath can breathe
The palms are getting cold
It becomes pale willing to fall

Years have past for thousand lies
With false smiles and false love
For he knew to count different me
Tear my dreams and future for him

A whisper whispering me to kill my own self
After to know the biggest revelation came
The fearless other one that he loved was...
A girl that I love most and brings my blood

How can I live with her?
How can I turn my eyes to her?
The loathing spirit pushing myself
For them who put evil on my head!


Details | Free verse | |

For Suzanne, Green and Golden

“The October night comes down; returning as before
Except for a slight sensation of being ill at ease
I mount the stairs and turn the handle of the door
And feel as if I had mounted on my hands and knees.”
----- “Portrait of a Lady;” T. S. Eliot

A golden afternoon,
Late October, and my thoughts
Are all of you, Suzanne…
Vestiges of your being
Appear on visages of 
A hundred different people;
But none are you, not one 
As green,  as golden.

Hard it is to know no miracle
Will mend, no giddy hope assuage,
The scourge that slowly puts an end
To our valiant green and golden girl.
Memory takes us to days of indolence,
Of innocence, of children lying on a levee,
Deep in lush, green, summer clover --
In sunlight almost as golden
As your hair -- beside a flowing river
Bearing away our golden hours
And the painless green  of youth.
 
Now, in your green room, reclined
In shadow, our golden girl reposes.
Your courage lights the coming night
That does not dim the gold and green
You always shared, and still you share.



Details | Free verse | |

My Notebook

Stimulating ideas pop into your head
You need a pen…you need a piece of lined paper 
It looks like you’re outtah luck…no wonder you’re drowning in dread
You need a shoulder to lie your head down for a moment’s rest… 
You need a helper…to aid you while you struggle emotionally…
I’m not trying to irritate you purposely

Try with all your might…try your best
To stay optimistic and fervent 
I believe that you’ll pass the test
Be upbeat, kindhearted and jubilant  

I appreciate the words you wrote on my notebook…
Sometimes, I feel like leftovers left on the counter…
I’m a rotten mess – you’re leaving me as if I’m an uninteresting book 
Sometimes, I feel like a coward – I don’t mean to bother…

But, you’re like no other . . .

You’re like a mat – you’re constantly stepped on…
I’m like YOUR unwanted tool – 
I stepped on you and
Pushed your buttons
I accused you of being the fool 
When, in fact, I’m the fool by your side…
You’re drifting…pushing me aside…

I’m writing words of truth though – 
Expressing how much I’m fond of you 

I esteem your presence
Glowing with glee 
At times, you do say things without thinking 
I’m the god of distress – 
You’re leaving me breathless 
Cutting me down like I’m some decaying tree
You don’t see how much you make me…
Guilty for your crimes
Taking the blame about the hundredth time 

At times, I feel that I’m awkward when I’m around you

You’re like a backpack – you carry everyone’s weight…
You’re like a sponge – soaking in our stress
I’m a distraction to you – you’re wasting valuable time…but don’t hesitate 
I’m writing words of self-centered feelings – logic doesn’t exist…
But these feelings aren’t as bad as committing a crime
These feelings come and go – I just had to confess 
I didn’t mean to screw up your progress…

Hey, if you need a few sheets of paper to right on, 
Use me like a notebook instead…and write with all your might
It seems as if you read me…like a book that drags on and on 
Use me as your tool of relaxation… and read me all night  

When you wrote those words on my notebook…
It made my day…you’re such a delight 
Like reading a fascinating, classic book


Details | Free verse | |

All We Have is Hope

I can feel the freezing fright and fear rattling in the marrow of my bones;
It immerses me.
I can feel the vexing uncertainty shrouding me like a black cloud;
It swallows me.
I can feel the baleful worry surrounding me like a pack of ravenous wolves;
It encircles me.
I can feel the awful dread welling and swelling up in me like a violent maelstrom;
It envelops me.
I can feel the cumbersome woe strangling me like a constricting python;
It entangles me.
I can feel the taxing stress crashing and breaking like tsunami waves on the shores of my mind;
It besets me.
I can feel the agonizing anguish beating my beleaguered soul to a bloody pulp;
It besieges me.
I can feel the terrible torment fomenting an emotional breakdown and upheaval;
It encompasses me.
I can feel the perplexing pain plaguing my heart with rancorous delight;
It inundates me.
I can feel the damnable distress torture every fiber of my being;
It binds me.
But I can also feel the wondrous spirit of Hope rising inside me like a spring of faith;
It strengthens me.

*Written for my dad who is now battling kidney cancer. All thoughts, prayers, good 
vibes and well-wishes are sincerely appreciated. Thank you <3 ~Chan 


Details | Free verse | |

Bleeded Out

More things can happen or could have happened,
From a cold metal,
Sharpened in fine fettle,
Making skin nettled,
Damaging the mettles,
To keep minds unsettled,
Provoking to ask, if this is or if this was real or mental?

Blade on arms,
Skin might be harmed;
Skin was gashed,
Blade grinding and gnashed,
Red colors coming in a flash...

Blade on gut,
Feeling a sudden jut,
Provoked as a rut,
But, this was a guff...

Blade on neck,
Thinking about a sudden sweep,
Discord trying to overcome conviction and peace,
Even though, the blade failed again,
Failing to provoke the red gushes and streams...

Blade on heart,
Might be the last battle so far,
Trying to not give in, being so hard,
Though in the past, there could have been to many cuts,
And more deadly slashes,
Creating red splashes and plashes,
As I slowly might have fought, winning or losing,
Against the sleeping and life flashing feeling,
As I bleeded out..


Details | Free verse | |

Scars

The scars you see
The one on my ear 
from that hurled can
Coca Cola was the real thing

The scar on my knee
From falling
On my rocky past
I couldn't run fast enough to fly

My one cracked discolored tooth
From my former perfect smile
That one time
Sense was knocked into my head

Yet the scars you cannot see
The deep ones
Cut into me
In the dark and hidden places
Occasionally you may see some traces
Revealed in words or a glance
Sometimes in a repeated dance
The patterns of me
Pushing and pulling to be free

Yet my scars
Help me 
Clarify

Help me 
Identify
Who I am 
Where I'm from
How far I've come

My scars of the mind
Within them I find
My gentler spirit
A way to be kind
More human
Understanding 
Less commanding 

I do not wish to inflict
Any scars on you
Yet I know it's true
You
Yes you
Have your Scars too



Inspired by an exchange of 
comments with Sandra Adams.

 









Details | Free verse | |

Silence's Shout

Silence’s Shout

My bones are poisoned by the thirsty soul
Darkness is added for the busy mind covered by the emptiness
Soak by choke to inhale the breath 
Silence alarms the quietness to explode
Lifting my spirit to create chaos
But the conscience counts the beat of my veins every part…

I see N and O every time I step my feet in the gate
The house of refining sin with the anointed sounds invites my presence
Meet the cleaned hands but not at all
‘cause the trouble wakes up the inner story 
From the place hits slowly the strength to feeble

My left is mocking to my weak faith
Yes my right!
Dance suicidal pointing out my fellows quite innocently assassin
Looking innocently but the hallo of an angel is lost!

Huh!

Hence, I look grotesque in their eyes 
Criticizing out of their deeds yet unknown
For them the red flag is mine
Talking without knowing the root from the trees 
Various fruits are made in one family

Yell quietly!

Keen the knife!

Promulgate your inner to naïve!

Take your pride, use your power!

Make me nude unconnected sister!

Finally, the mask is over
Your slimy tongue made you in trouble
The words that you spread to the thirsty ears
Hence, you are thirsty for a little drop of attention

Everybody heard your moaning cry 
'coz you sow rock heart
To tame your chaotic consciousness 
You put others into hot spot
Feel your burned spirit
With the gnashing teeth

Tell me!
How far our gap? How long your thread?
Yes I know how lofty you are!
Maybe by your profession but not as us, maturity's under control!


Details | Free verse | |

Laundry: where do socks go

Where do socks go 
When the washer stops?
Where do they go 
When the washer stops?
Through the laundry mist 
They escape
One goes astray
And another lays motionless
In the laundry basket
Where do socks go
When the washer stop?


Details | Free verse | |

If I might be

If you want me to express,
Then let me progress.

If you love me,
Give me a break,
'Cause thinking of it,
I may not stay...

If you love me,
Let me lead,
If you love me,
Let me go deep,
If you love me,
I may love you,
If you love me,
Just let me be.

What if you die?
What if I'm gone?
Do you know me?
We all have secrets...

If you are hurt,
I might burn,
If you cry,
I might cry,
If you win,
I might lose,
If you bleed,
I might bleed,
If you live,
I might live.

We all have sins,
We all have burdens...

We can hear,
We can see,
We can know,
We can think,
We can feel,
We can comprehend.

Sorry.
Just let me be.
Because life and time aren't eternal,
They aren't meant to last forever...

Please,
Sorry.
Just let me be...


Details | Free verse | |

In My Community

Our Ancestors fought to the death,
Just so we can live a brighter day,
So before you light up that blunt of meth,
Think about what you’re giving away,
It was a glad day in history when Obama rose to victory,
The first black president was all we knew,
Dark skin is in!
Haven’t you heard?
That even in our community, 
You can get burned,
It’s a sad day when people would rather stay home and “Crank That Amber Cole”,
Than get up and run to a poll,
In our community,
Rockin’ Luis V is better than having a college degree,
And teen pregnancy is not only a trend,
But the single motherhood that follows should end,
Young girls learn of a wonderful prince to take them away,
Nothing should change thought their mothers prince didn’t stay,
And as the tears fade away,
She grows stronger every day,
In our community,
Fighting is no longer a word,
You argue with someone and shots are heard,
Girls showing places the sun don’t show,
So how do they expect the community to grow?
Where love is a figment of imagination,
Making a young child question her creation,
Young mothers would rather buy the iPhone 5,
Then satisfy her baby’s cries,
While her new man’s eye,
Wander up another girl’s thighs,
In our community,
Where #team dark skin vs #team light skin,
Makes others not love the skin they’re in,
Love, lust, hate, and trust,
Giving a rose on Valentine’s Day is no longer a must, 
Where bad is good and good is bad,
Who would think to see their grandmother sad?
Her hurt and pain,
Shows how our community has lost everything her parents fought to gain.


Details | Free verse | |

A City Once Without Hope

I would have never thought I had a chance after wanting to stay behind
The devastation swept up my city
I constantly cried at the vision I had seen
People were dying everywhere and what a shock it was
Seeing majority of my city floating under water seemed as if it was only a dream
However reality made everything so true
Young and old, sadness filled the hearts of many
After being led away from our home of plenty
Displaced and referred to as a stranger to some
Desperately wanting to go back to what we once called home
Only to be told that it was temporarily gone
I survived to tell all How hurricane Katrina went down in making history
As one of the deadliest hurricanes that fiercely attacked, leaving many dead in her path
Even after many years her memory still lingers on
A city once without hope continues to surprise
A strong people we are destined to survive


Details | Free verse | |

WAILING OF AN IMPAIRED BEING

I despair from the invisible thorns,
Inflicted on me by the forces of hurt
I desire to flee beyond,
from within the ****** of crossroads

Sweet pain!
I've come to see.

I’m trapped in a fortress as thick as steel
The puzzle called earth plays me, like poker
I flaunt my guts in a minute entity
I flex my panache to few and sundry

The gods have smiled,
But I’ve laughed yet not
I’m prepared, I know
But they think otherwise.

The saints have sang
But the rhythm still plays.
I’m sensitive, so I feel everything
In the sense of it, and beyond of it

My time is served
But the shackles stay clasped
My wings and cape were made to soar
Un-glue me from my cubicle in hell’s pit

Whose tears do I shed?
Who is the snail in front of me?
On the one-track path to light
Yearn has become my alias

I know, I know
Patience is the watchword 
But even her, lacks perfection
My case just might be an exception

Oh King of us
What are your thoughts?


Details | Free verse | |

Life Can Be Cruel

I cannot get into heaven
God I have tried!
Suicide is a double edge sword
Especially when you survive!
Walking the streets at night
Dazed and confused
Longing to be loved
Wondering...
When is Mum, coming for me?

"Does she still love me?"
"Does she still care?"
"Does she still think of me?"
"Does she wonder, where I am?"

I want her to come find me
I want her to say she 'loves me’
I want her to comfort me
I want her to take me home
And keep me safe
And not forget hat I exist
Like the way she treats me now

I wish God 
Could make my Mum
Magically appear
Making this hellish nightmare
On the street
Disappear!

“Send my Mum please!”
So, all this can end!
Before this last ray of hope
Diminishes for good!

I don’t want to become
The walking dead
Forever forgotten as if 
I was never born!
For this is the cruel, harsh reality
Of living life, feeling unloved
Uncared for, abandoned,
Left to fend for my own

A dangerous killer inside me
Eating away, at my soul
Something, no one can see
As I suffer in silence
My insides crippling!

Lost, alone and frightened
Weeping on a dirty
Graffiti park bench
Dirty tears
Rolling down my cheeks
Stuffing newspapers under my jumper
To keep myself warm

“What am I going to do?”

“Will I make it through the night?”
“Will I get raped and beaten?”
"Will I be left for dead?”
“Will I survive
To see another day?

“Is my life worth living?”

Please God, I beg of you
Have mercy now
Please show me the way!


Details | Free verse | |

Doubts

Dear members of Poetry Soup, here I present my most awesome poem to date. 
It is best appreciated while listening to my mate Andy's recital. 
So please open-
http://www.andyevansfiction.com/interviews/andy-reads-a-poem-called.html 
and read along.
Here goes:

DOUBTS

When the sanctuary
Of sunlight sinks
And dark shadows
Lay across your thoughts
Spiteful talons
Scrape against your reason
Their dragging
Resonating
In your mind

<     >

Out beyond your vision
In the darkness of the hour
Your doubts stir
Shuffling
Muttering
Foul damning words
That pierce you
Slicing through your certainty
Severing the flow
Of your integrity
Chill words
Spoken so close 
They breeze past your ear
And settle like ice
On your dignity
Threatening
Menacing
Sounds of movement so near
That doubts brush
Your confidence

<     >

In the gloom
These doubts
Analyse
Scrutinise
Your every mistake
Real and imagined
Emphasised
Magnified
Demonised
Your honest intentions
Mercilessly proven
Futile
Trivial
Infantile
Your courage
And Morale
Shattered
Scattered
Lost in the darkness
Surrounded by doubts

<     >

Fearful
Deceitful
Doubts twist
Blur reality
Ripping
Façade
From hidden self
Clawing
Screaming
Igniting fear
Pupils dilating
Stupefied
Skinned
Heart racing
Blood
Gore
Torn from your chest
Undesired self
Splayed
Exposed

<     >


When the sanctuary
Of sunlight rises
And dark shadows
Are chased from your thoughts
Hopeful hands
Massage your reason
Their comforting
Relaxing
Your mind



Details | Free verse | |

Hey you

Hey you,you who thinks you own the world
certain people you cannot be around
you smile ear to ear like you feel enthralled
owe to them that do not know your mind
and read the contempt you hold
that's when they will realize you are not who you are.

You are always in the front line
with everyone you dine
but when it comes to share
your hand you hide
its you,yes you
whom am talking to.


Details | Free verse | |

The Strand

This expanse of land has seen things. 
Things all of us can only see in dreams.
It's seen war, it's gotten it's fair share of scars.
Bombs bursting, bullets throwing sand into the air like it's a volleyball tournament.
The sand running red with blood silently mocking our arteries.

This magnificent stretch of land has seen heroes' tears fall; dropping to their knees while sadness envelopes their fallen brothers but also looking up to their beloved whilst carrying a ring in their hand. 

It's seen bright days, the sun glimmering over wet sand, footprints of past loves being washed away as the sun smacks the horizon. 

This expanse of land...has seen things we can only imagine.

T.K


Details | Free verse | |

DEATH NOTE

Black memories
made it blind
White images 
are hard to find,
Pain... Emotions...
Hope... are Missing
My Mind, My Heart
are still not working

This is not a sin
for me, for now
but a solution
to make all things down

I wrote this dark letter
with a teardrops in each CORNER...
with a confuse body
that will  turn to SPIRIT later...
 . . .
I think this is the end...
. . .

Silence... ALL BECOME CLEAR...


Details | Free verse | |

I Listened What You Hadn't Said

I listened what you hadn't said,
I made dreams without any reason,
I don't know whose evil sight has got me,
There is no place of mine in this city,
The pain is more than before,
I have made a promise with myself once again,
Eyes and path are both silent,
Now I can't talk like before,
My lips tremble,if I try to speak,
The secret of the heart can not be told,
There is an effect over me,
Though I am travelling,but I have no companion,
I kept going far,
I kept coming closer,
Once again she came into view,
Once again the matter was about to start,
The smoke from the past is prickling my eyes,
Your condition is not like me,
Why is there a little sadness in this happy news?
Why the same world is forming,
Which I have left far away?
It has once again come in my sight,
The past moments are aching my heart,
Though the fire had extinguished,
The wound kept on burning...










Details | Free verse | |

Leave a Message After the Beep

It's always hardest, when there is no one to talk to-
When I dial your number, and it just rings and rings
Until the dreaded "voice mail" picks up.
For just an instant, when there is that brief crackle and "click"-
My hopes skyrocket that you have picked up the phone and answered, when I needed it most, the moment I am most frantic...
But when, in reality, it's just that pre-recorded message that I've heard a million times before; how I loath it
And I feel my heart sinking, like there are anchors tied all around it, dragging it into the depths of my stomach!
Where are you? Can you not feel my desperation through the infinite channels of the universe, or are they clogged and busy, too?
Don't you know that I need you, perhaps now, more than ever?
I know you're at that fancy French restaurant you're always talking about, drinking fine wine and eating escargot, possibly dancing the night away.
While I am here, all alone, eating my own heart out for supper.
All I need, all I want, is a compassionate voice on the other end of the line, talking me down off the ledge once again.
Don't you know I've had too much to drink; that I am listening to sad songs and thinking about doing it again- that awful thing which leaves me so terribly scarred when I wake from my stupor? The cuts. You know, those things you hate to see marring my arms.
But I'll have to resort to self-will and self-control, of which I have so very little...
I may or may not make it through another night of melancholy and self-loathing.
Please, for the love of God, pick up the damn phone!

*Any Poem Goes Contest Entry
~JustThatArchaicPoet
 


Details | Free verse | |

The Eyes

The Eyes

The eyes so shattered and so blue,
You sit there and you knew
The pain of losing someone close to you,
And you beg for their return,
But a wish so great, can never be granted.

The eyes shattered and blue,
Watch you,
Take the bottle and drowned yourself,
They watch you destroy yourself,
And they know what they do,
Yet they show no remorse, no pain in heart.

You fall asleep
On a dirty mattress,
Held up by broken dreams
And nightmares,
No pillow, no blanket
Just air you float on.
And your blind eyes close in the night,
The dreams come back to haunt you
And the eyes, they watch you,
So shattered and so blue.

Till three o’clock hits again
Wake in cold sweat,
Spiders on webs weaving a nest
In your head,
A cry out for the Madhouse,
Where the eyes so shattered and so blue
Stare at you, through a window with no reflection.

-10/3/2013


Details | Free verse | |

We all fear

Why do we feel hatred?
We fear discontrol.

Why don't they get it?
Why don't they comprehend?
Why do we wait?
Why do we protect?
Why do we run?
We fear destiny.

Why does it hurt?
Why does it burn?
Why do we fight?
Why do they betray us?
We fear love,
We fear friendship.

Why do we keep?
Why is it deep?
We fear the abyss.

Why hell?
Why heaven?
Why purgatory?
We fear darkness,
We fear light.

Why do we live?
Why do we die?
Why do we suffer?
We fear death,
We fear life.

We all live,
We all die,
We all keep,
We all fight,
We all suffer,
We all cry,
We all love,
We all wait,
We all give,
We all receive,
We all trust,
We all wish,
We all dream,
We all remember,
We all feel...

We all vanish,
We all rise,
We can ignite.

We fear destruction.
We all expect,
We all regret,
We all lie.

Why hate?
Why do we create?
Why do you stare?
Why do they glare?
Why explore?
Why hope?
Why goodbye?
Why shine?

We all think,
We all see,
We all go,
We all deserve,
We all pass,
We all fear...


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Feeling cold,
Lost in desperation,
Remembering sadness,
Getting in frustration...

Trying to let go,
Comprehended,
By few of those.

Losing comprehension,
Restrained from myself,
Being criticized,
Feeling hollowed.

Needing help,
To bring me,
Back to life...


Details | Free verse | |

SELF-LOATHING

Step after step I move forward.
Into the abyss, 	
Into the pit
Black, thick, silent,
The pool is filled
 Yet the tar is so bleak and empty.
Fully submerged there is nothing, 
Nothing but me
Nothing to smell hear or see
So I focus on me
My weaknesses
My faults
My mistakes
I feel all the pain as the air leaves my lungs
As the pressure of all that I’ve done bears down upon my chest and back.
Bones bend and muscles contract.
That last bit of air
 Right before sweet eternal sleep
 Escapes into the darkness
And for that moment the pain stops and the pressure fades…
I am cold.
I am lost.
Floating back to the top…
I inhale 
And life is restored…until next time.


Details | Free verse | |

In a Welsh Chapel Darkly

I know you see me from up there,
from halfway up the steep and twisting lane.
In early half-light as you take your walk
I no doubt seem to loom as you descend,
appear to grow, to rise from earth,
my boxlike rectilinearity,
severe and unadorned geometry,
a silhouette against the solitary sodium source.

I once hosted fiery-throated hymns
from dedicated souls in Sunday best:
“Marchog, Jesu, yn llwyddiannus”,
“O! Iesu mawr, rho d’anian bur” –
voices rich and raised and resonant,
so filled with faith, so gorged with God.
My pitch-pine pews were polished
by coat and skirt and trouser twill.

Abandoned now, unloved, slab-still,
void and stark and desolate,
with quarry-tiled floor that would resound
with joy were anyone to walk upon it,
I present gaping emptiness, a thing felt,
a cave whose darkness, palpable,
is peopled by retreating echoes of my past,
like timorous ghosts far too afraid to speak.

But there is One I must not name
who lodges in my roomy quarters,
cowers within my tight square corners,
seeking shadows when the sun stares in.
I hear Him breathing as
He sweats in His remorse, a thing smelt,
hiding from the accusing gaze
of His forlorn creation.


Details | Free verse | |

Theatrical Life

No drama,
Criticized,
No scene,
Criticized,
No theater,
Critized,
No life,
Criticized,
No death,
Criticized...

A hipnotic spell,
A happy comedy,
An impact of tragedy,
A depressive sorrow,
A constant paranoia,
A living psychology,
A passing psychiatry...

An endless beginning...


Details | Free verse | |

My Love Intended

My love intended for the girl of my dreams,
she walks from side to side,
not knowing that I walk alone.

She is beautiful than any other thing in this simple world,
everything around her shakes and trembles
as she walks on by without a spare of a passing glance.

The wine is drunk
the last cigarette smoked,
the pain of heartache gone away.

It feels good to see her go my way,
to take the pain with her away from me,
as I sit in the wayward cafe on the river of ashes.

A beautiful girl she is mine,
but that course of life shall no surpass mine,
and my heart beats and takes me away
in hope of falling in love.

Irony of love and hate,
it is similar in many ways,
as I sit and think of her.

She angers me,
but when the vail of anger falls over my eyes,
the passion of love enters my mind.

Come now, take me away,
hold me in your beauty,
and love me with your gentle body.

Go into the gardens,
where the nightingales sing,
and sit at the patio's crossway.

Watch the artists paint pictures of the garden,
watch the writers write about the garden,
and watch us go and pick flowers in the garden.

The air smooth and wind breeze calms the nerves,
the pain of my sorrowed heart is soothed,
by her sweet intellegence and beauty.

Her eyes, orbs of blazing sunlight,
blind me with the beauty of her beauteous face,
her lips and skin smooth and pure.

She is glorious,
My love she is the dream girl,
who comes and takes my nightmares away from me.

As I sit on the park benches,
I light my last cigarette,
and reminicse on the days with my love.

I close my tired eyes only for a moment,
and the moment is gone,
my beauty is gone.

The tears are all gone,
the pain has gone,
the feelings of everlasting love are all gone.

Where did it all go?
Where did my beauty go?
Where did my love go?

All gone now, all gone now,
as I grow old,
the feeling of death takes me by surprise.

The park bench is cold,
the cigarette is burnt out,
I am longing for a drink.

I lay in a wayward cafe
drink a coffee and talk to myself
discussing a book of poetry.

Looking over to the right
I am blinded by beauty once again
this time this is no dream.

Alas, my dream girl came
that appeared in my sunny pleasure dome,
who has walked barefoot in the gardens of my mind.

She sat with me,
I looked at her
and we smiled together.

We held hands together,
and dreamed together,
forever and ever.

Love everlasting,
everything everlasting,
cigarettes smoked together.

A cloud over our heads
in the shape of a heart
my love.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Lost and isolated I fear, I hear myself internally speak.
Connections come at the most costly price, to be left out, to be forgotten in plain sight, to be lost and isolated.
Salvage and hold on, I tell myself internally hoping.
Feelings are always held back deep in the human spirit, to be ignored, to be remembered, to be regretted for their costly silence.
No motto's about short life and briefness and how things were created at random seem to linger.
Lost and isolated.
I fear.


Details | Free verse | |

I'm tired of pretending part 1

I wish nothing more than to quit this game of pretend
I want to go back to being me, and forget whatever happened
I play pretend
Like a little girl who plays dress up.
I play pretend
To be an innocent little girl again
I play pretend
To make everyone happy
To make everyone leave me alone
I forgot who I am.
Am I really this nice of a person who gets walked over excessivly?
Then why do I have another part to me, screaming to be let go of.
To be let out...
Why is it whenever I let that half of me out even the slightest
People jump the gun and make me out to be a monster?
I am scared of that other half
I'm completely sure what she's like
I know that it is almost nothing like the other my other half
Why can't I be all of me?
I'm so tired of pretending.
I smile so much, my face hurts.
I smile so much I want to cry
I hate to smile.
False smiles, False laughs, and lies
That's how I play pretend.
"I swear I'm okay."
That's an empty promise.
I hate pretending
It kills me every day.
It makes me forget the other half inside
That claws and screams to get out.
It makes me forget the pain
Which only comes back later
Intensified, stronger, and more violent.
I'm tired of putting up with false friends
Who do nothing but accuse me
And point out my mistakes
Yell at me, and want to change me
Wanting to bend and break me
I'm tired of pretending
Of being so malluble just to make other people happy
But what about me, huh?
When will Samantha get her day to be happy?
When will Samantha get to be herself?
When can she stop playing pretend?
IF she can even stop playing pretend.
I'm tired of these false friends
With their invisible unknown strings set into my back.
I'm tired of puppet masters for friends
People are so stupid
They are so blind and trusting
They can never tell when I say a lie.
"I'm okay."
"No, it's fine, trust me."
I'm tired of making everyone else happy, except myself.
Why should I rely on people anyway?
They only dissapoint me in the end.
Love dissapointed me
Love betrayed me
Friendship stabbed me in the back
and they both lied to me.
What have I left?
Nothing really.
Music for one thing
My mind for another
But really, what have I left?
Nothing.
I'm tired of pretending...
I wish that I could stop...
But I've become so accustomed to it...
That it's become like a drug I can't quit.
Not to make me happy...
But everyone else around me happy.
And me all the more miserable.


Details | Free verse | |

Gift Of Mortality

An earthly existence
A universe beyond my minds, comprehension
I die
I rise
Life lessons reviewed
Homeward bound
I am not lost, after all!
I am a willing participant
Serving, the Father, of all creation
His son combined, ‘producing life’ as we know it
Representing them, in everything I do
I am nothing, without Love!
My heart full of faith, loyal service I give
Learning how to unconditionally serve, as the Father unconditionally, loves me
Worshipping our Divine Creator’s existence
Choosing to live, moment to moment
Being as one with ‘Our Universal Father’
No physical permanency
My physicality, disappearing
My mortality existence, I let go of
Death temporary
My spirit alive!
Relief, Peace
‘I am only passing through!’
A unique, experience of mortality 
A gift, I am blessed to experience, to live!


Details | Free verse | |

Love in the garden

I stand in the "Shade"
Locked within the darkness of a "Forever Masquerade"
I search for an "Everlasting Candle"
"Why is it" that my search seems futile
My fingers grope in the darkness, thankfully "Night Melds with Day"
My eyes witness "Seasons of Life and Death"
"Blood of Birth" flows through my veins
"Self-induced Fatality: A New Kind of Drug"
Injected into yesterday's want
"Societal Dream" for me a nightmare
"My Heart She Slumbers" I wait for her for she is you
I sit here in our garden, "Speaking to Your Statue"
The monument of us covered with "Vines That Bind"
"Sestina in The World of Worm"
I watch you rise from the earth
Once again we will ride
Together we will take the reins
We will experience
"Love on a Black Horse"
As we ride towards our heaven


There is a talented new poet named Sam Beloved, I took all the titles from 
Sam's posted poems and wrote this piece. I hope you enjoy what I came up
with. Be sure to check out Sam's poems, you won't be disappointed.


Details | Free verse | |

You Are Rich

Festered lament maddens me
Why must the despair of my heart’s desire
Truly enlighten me? 
I rested among the sick and lame
And found myself no different from the rest
For a troubled mind holds endless poverty
Penniless regret marks as a sickness no doctor can prescribe
For the bottles of balm are empty
And medicinal hope grows angry
I derived my madness from creativity
Revealing the remains of my humanity
‘Cool off, child’, I heard a soft voice whisper
But can’t you see I live off the flame?
It asks for no nickel or dime!
But it seeks to destroy all the same
The small voice returns at times
And often my heart listens
But we all listen
And only believe in the inevitability of pain 
I speak of the majority
Not of you
For you are blessed and beyond disgrace
You have a life—a beautiful face

And most of all, you are rich
With attributes I can only dream of 

You are rich with life and purpose
Holding inscrutabilities I can only wish to understand
You lift me without touch or care
Disposing me from your treasures
Because though you meant no harm, 
You are rich with blessing
And must remove all possible threats
So my festered lament
Remains an enlightenment

I can say I am rich in poverty
But you are forever rich
In Mystery

What hurts the most is knowing
I may be wrong about you
For you are so obscure in this mind
And as empty as I am I wish to be filled
In your richness
But we all are filled to the brim in the end
And sometimes I cannot distinguish the good from the bad
There is nothing I wish to discard
So I hoard in constant deficiency and despair  
And I hoard the idea that you are beyond compare

That you are rich
And always will be richer
Than me—or he


Details | Free verse | |

Reflection

If you ask me to look in a mirror
To stand in front of it naked before the world
What do you think I'd see?
An accomplished teenager who has made it so far in life?
A wonderfully intelligent young woman who has high aspirations for the future?
A caring and kind youth who will be the tomorrow of today's society?
A beautiful young woman who's sure to get the right man one day?
Now you're asking me what I see, right?
I see none of the above
But I do see something.
I see an unaccomplished teenager who could have done much better this far in life
I see an idiotic young girl who has no idea where she's headed and is rather indecisive
A caring and Kind youth who won't make it to tomorrow's society
A hideous young teenager who will never get a man in her short life-span
An insecure child who needs obsession to pacify herself
A self-loathing teenager who is willing to sacrifice normality by self destructing her body
A crazed teenager who had to create a world to escape the harshness of reality
A lonely teenager wanting nothing more than attention
A little child screaming out for help from the shadows of her mind
A quiet individual who wants nothing more than to be heard
A pained teenager whose agony goes unnoticed. 
A heartbroken teenager whose angst and love remain ignored
A sinner before the eyes of God
That is what I see in the smooth glass that is reflected back toward me
I loathe what is seen within it
I hate what I am
I hate who I am
You tell me to look again
I do, and I see the same as before
But I see the mirror now
The intricate cracks
The many barely noticeable pieces of glass missing
One more crack
One more hit
And this mirror is gone.
One more crack
One more hit
And I'm gone.


Details | Free verse | |

Falling Stars Disaster

My soul flows as powerful as the current of this life that I'm lost in
Sorrows are what they call them, tucked away in my heart still
In this life we will fall some, but we must rise above the struggle
I have been judged and convicted in a courtroom,
and I will still shake the hand of the Judge still
I am torn apart and destroyed by My sins they have crushed me, 
I am lightheaded from the loss of blood and the unexpected loss of loved ones
I hear the calm before the storm and yes we will feel the sound of thunder
I've been familiar with the visitation of storms and dealt with them since a young age
I suppose I got more than just power from the struggle
In the moments of silence, I think about the defeats I suffered from these battles
Here I go stepping into another as ever courageous and defiant in the face of fire
I don’t know if it’s the devil who does it or if its just the consequences that derive from my poor choices
I will prosper and receive my portion from the Lord of course I will
I carry my shield of faith like a force field
All doubts cloudy thoughts and the devil will be forced away
I ‘m fortunate I can say it. 
Without even the slightest hesitation
Im a legetimate son of God I pass this test here
I have sinned and I will die for my sins and
I walk too far out on the limb and I broke the branch man
I fall off and hallor and the echo of my voice causes an avalanche

Disaster****Disaster***

Falling Stars Disaster*****


Details | Free verse | |

Dear Dad

Dear Dad 				
Why don’t you love me? 
The small brown eyed girl asked her father as he beat her at night,
 then with a smile in the morning he’d scoop her up in his arms to play.
Why don’t you love me? 
The bigger brown eyed girl asked her father as he walked out and
never came back.
Why don’t you love me? 
The young brown eyed girl asked her boyfriend of two years,
As he walked out the same door her father did eight years before.
Never to return.
Why didn’t you love me?
The older brown eyed girl asked her father at his funeral.
As she leaned over the edge of his casket and kissed him gently on the forehead,
Tears running down her cheeks.
Why couldn’t you love me? 
The oldest brown eyed girl asked as she lays Jasmine’s and roses
On her father’s grave.
Only a row down from her old boyfriend’s,
With love that never dies.
And her question is answered in the wind, 
As the answer is whispered in her heart.
How could you love me?
If you couldn’t love yourself?


Details | Free verse | |

Eternal Sleep in Peat

Eternal Sleep in Peat

At least a thousand years
since he lost hope
His features spoke, not of
the strangling rope
that robbed his breath,
but of a sleep, as deep as death
And peat preserved
is evidence, far sharper 
than a photograph,
not yet invented,
his face, the same as one
who rested on his desk 
to pause,
and not the drama, of
a flight for life,
(for crime or sacrifice,)
that brought him ,
an endless sleep 
in peat

Suzanne Delaney


This poem is based on an image from real life that affected me profoundly.
When I was in Dublin a few years ago I saw a 1000 year old man
in a  glass case Museum Display whose body had been dumped in a peat bog with a rope around his neck. Some say a sacrifice or an execution.  I was amazed
to see the features were just like any 50 year old male you would see today.  Most of the likenessesof people before photography was invented, were painted or sculpted images
and although I wouldn't doubt an artist's eye, I was never sure they could capture the real image  of what people looked like back then.   


Details | Free verse | |

Silence

I whisper into the silence to see if anyone is there
While the moon casts a calm reflection I wonder what I will hear
The voices of timid strangers roaming through the night
Invited by the darkness convincing them that its alright 
And not to fear the sleeping giants nor their deep aphotic dreams
Embrace your somber phantoms they will help you find the light you seek
Then I stared far beyond the horizon into the great abyss of emptiness
At that moment all of my hell stood still and I know why I exist
Although my body is bound by gravity my soul is a billion light years away
Im still no closer to forever, but heaven is on my way

~JJF ~


Details | Free verse | |

There Is No Now

The pollution is psychedelic
Hell, you could even say poetic nature
Terms of enragement
Definitely not engagement
Can suffice in describing the depredation

Fire from the skies
Burning through the system
Dropping through to nothing
Learning not what’s in them
Always running from them

We may hide our voices
But you hide your souls
Torturing us with woes
Never able to feed our hole
Scars bleed out like coals

Paint it any color you like
Doesn’t change a thing
This war that you’ve brought forth 
Has killed us all
In the past and future

There is no now…


Details | Free verse | |

Skin Deep

Achilles' heel 
You’re another day older
The world’s much colder
She…

It’s not your fault
They were taken 
Don’t blame yourself 
for God’s mistake
Is…

Her beauty reflects your own
Her life reflects your future
Chasing rabbits will get you there faster
Loss of faith will bring you there faster
Watching…

The ball drops
It’s clever to see
What happens to us
And here we are
Waiting…

Yes, 
Take the evil out of this
You’re stronger
She’s stronger and always,
Loving…


Details | Free verse | |

Flying High In The Aqua-Blue Sky

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
I see a black and white checkered kite…
floating higher and higher than I, myself…
But, I was shoved 
Into another shelf…

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
2 birds were flying together in harmony… it made me smile 
If only…I could fly another mile…
If only…I could higher my smile…
If only…I could fly higher
If only…I could taste ecstasy…
people would accuse me as a liar
If I experienced the best day of my life…

But, I don’t wanna live with undying strife…
I want peace…
Hand it over, please…
Hand me the keys
So I could experience perpetual peace 

I took flight like those bird couples…
But, I was on an airplane…

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
I wouldn’t be greedy for gain…
I’m trying to act sane…
But, I’m actually insane
In many ways…I love my uniqueness…
And my stubbornness… and my gladness…
And my madness… my imagination goes wild
But, I need to put it on a leash…so I could remain mild

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
I’d feel the rain
Trickle down my hands…my wet, wrinkly hands

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
No one would understand
How awesome and wonderful I’ve felt that day…
Up there…
up there…I felt like a king…
But, now I lost that memory…I lost my ring
To success…but I’m willing to pick up my progress…
My pace…is slow like a snail’s pace
Do you see me crying? Just look at my face…

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
I’m the clouds absorbing tears

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
I’d be willing to release them…

but they’ve been stored up forever it seems
And…hell – I have been 
Shaking with fear…
Breaking by the seams 

High…way up high in the aqua blue sky,
I was……..
Daydreaming again…
My mind was stuck on cloud 7…
Thank heavens
That I’m still alive – staring into space
Just look at my sopping face…

I see no grace…I see only a pathetic face
In the mirror…….

This little dream of mine
Was rather sublime
I was a sweet boy, 
but now I’m sour like lime


If I were a bird, 
I'd fly away from my problems...

I'll flutter away
Without a care in the world...

I want to be happy-go-lucky...
But, I'm bound to submit to my 

Misery.............................


Details | Free verse | |

Her Final Words

"No." She whispered before drowning into her sorrows.
Her life had been a simple happy one. 
There were no pains and no troubles.
Life was life and people were people.
Life was simple.
and life was all about tomorrows.
Life didn't know about sorrows.
Her sorrows.
Those same sorrows that she drowned in never existed. 
They were never there, but where?
First to be sad in the naive town of joy.
Sorrow became contagious and what was known as happiness no longer was there.
It was non-exististent. 
A meager thought 
and a blessed memory.
She tried and tried.
She failed and failed.
Life was no longer hers.
For Pain was her only possession.
Her curse.
She lived and she died.
Yet, her legacy was passed on.
Never was it gone.
"No." She whispered before drowning in her sorrows, 
"Save them."


Details | Free verse | |

Fleeting

There is a brilliant sun setting on the horizon. 
I wipe tears from my eyes, and watch in a strange sense of awe. 
The sun kisses everything with it’s radiating beams 
and then disappears from view. 
It reminds me that, 
like many things in life, 
these serenely beautiful moments are often fleeting.
Words are left unsaid, moments forgotten, lives lost.
But, in those quiet moments, 
when I feel the sun's warmth on my face, 
I know you're sending me a smile and lighting up my life, once again.


Details | Free verse | |

Survival Of The Fittest

Dropped out of school
At an early age
Lived on the streets 
Because, I disgusted my mother
She thought I was a poor example
Of true Christian beliefs
At an early age 
She religiously drummed into me
‘blood is thicker than water’
And yet, 
Here I am today confused, lonely and hungry
No one protecting me
No friends
No family
No home to go too
Just, peoples eye for an eye,
tooth for a tooth mentality
Praying for the sun to shine
To feel some warmth again!
Sun rays of hope, lighting me up
To live through this darkness without fear
With a heart full of faith
No matter what happens to me, now!
If only I could drink my salty tears
It would sustain me for a lifetime
Your tears are worth nothing, around here
You’re classed as weak and venerable
Only attracting death
Your life worth nothing!
Save me from myself
I am my best friend
I am my worst enemy
My prayers and dreams
Lost in the wind
Blowing around like autumn leaves
The rain washing them away
Down the drain into the sewage
Rolling with the seasons
Year after year
Survival for the fittest!
Surviving on the love
Hidden, inside me
Being my strength and guide
My personal lifeline
In surviving this crazy world 
We all live in


Details | Free verse | |

The Nightmare

The Nightmare It seems that these days in Mexico, people are living a nightmare. This is because of the CARTELS and other small time criminals that want to get into the act. There is not a day that goes by - that people don't get killed. The people that kill are from the CARTELS, or other organized crimes. A lot of policemen get killed trying to combat the DRUG traficing, and sometimes human traficing too. Still some of them are involved with the CARTELS. Inocent people get killed, including women and children, that have nothing to do with these people. The worst part is - that they have already crossed over to our Country and are commitings their crimes here. It is not that our Country is free of crime, but we don't need any more then what we already have. In this DRUG WAR we all lose. One way or another we all pay. Our only hope is - that people stop using DRUGS, then no one would buy them and the DRUG LORDS would not be able to sell them. Money and power go together and people want to have it. They don't care at what cost. That is the NIGHTMARE that we have and only GOD knows if we will ever wake up...
03/19/2013 Written by Lucilla M. Carrillo


Details | Free verse | |

HATE ME NOW

Hate me now when you can still find your way back home
Hate me now to see what is good for you
Hate me now when your view of me is not what you see
Hate me now in the morning for your meaningful afternoon
Hate me now in this sunny noon so I can melt with the sun set
Hate me now before the crack of dawn for your redefinition
Hate me now for what I didn’t do for you
Hate you now for all the things u didn’t do for me
Hate you now when I can also find myself another home
Hate you now for all the promises you never live up to
Hate you now for I see the sun shines again for me
Hate us together for all the thing we didn’t achieved


Details | Free verse | |

Wedding Bells Ring

Today would be the day my wedding bells would ring, but they are still and quiet.

Where is the up roar? Where is the happy riot to cheer me on this happy day?
I do not see them have they all run away? Where is my mother? For she must walk me down the aisle.
I am her only child surely she would not forget about me.
However a better question would be where is my silver ring? The one that was given to me by my lover.
I am to become his significant other. Where is my beloved one? Where does he hide? I cannot wait to be by his side.

Today would have been the day my wedding bells would have ranged but today brings no joy only pain.

I loved only once but it was all in vain. The ring I was given was suddenly taken away...I was betrayed.
He abandon me and left me for dead. Oh if only I had known what was going on in his head.
Oh such pain I am in! Why me!? Why must I suffer!?

I have summoned all the strength I can muster but still I am weak with sadness.
However I can look back and say it was nice while it lasted. 
But my face reveale's all things; this is why I look so down casted.

In my bedrom I cry and think how everything he told me was just a pretty lie.
He never did love me, and he never will. Thinking about him makes me feel ill. 
But what's even more sickening is that I love him still.
Hate him I wish I could, but forgiveness I must give. 
However I never wish to look upon his face ever again.

Today would have been the day my wedding bells would ring, but the sun does not shine and the birds do not sing.

Do they also share in my sadness or are they also confused by this madness?
I sit and ask myself how could this be? One moment we are together the next moment we are history. 
You are one of the greatest mysteries that has yet to be solved.

My first kiss I gave to you, oh how I wish I could steal it back. 
Was my love so powerful that it gave you a fatal heart attack?
How I wish I could change the times so that your eyes would have never met mine.
But time cannot be changed set or rearranged.
What happens in life must remain that same.

Today would have been the day my wedding bells would ring but they are still and quite.


Details | Free verse | |

Look Around You

Look around you
The world is already at an end
When the Mayans said that the world was going to end
They didn't mean a world destroyed by flare, quake, or salvation
But rather a world full of broken relation
That possibly, it wasn't a literal interpretation
But a figurative analysis of this falling nation
Are we not all the same people, the same human
But we'd rather live a life divided
A life divided by the color of our skin  
What is war but greed to keep the amount of money left for our kin
Life is no longer cherished
The earth used for our own experiments until its resources perished
Genocide, assassinations, and murder supported for a "better cause"
Who are we to judge the abominations of others when there is flaw in our own laws
We continue to redefine what is socially accepted
Making a gateway for divorce, abortion, and legal prostitution
Rather than fixing what has been so psychologically rooted into the minds of this generation
We look to cover up past mistakes with a newly corrupted translation  
Girls look for sex because of a lack of love from their fathers
Society tells boys to make use of this advantage 
Treat girls as objects rather than human beings with emotions
And we later ask ourselves
How did these boys and girls ever become such bad parents
Our government shouts democracy
But isn't that really just a cover up to keep us appeased
It's most convenient when the majority stays quiet 
Because only those in power can say that this earth's a heaven
To the majority, this earth is already a hell
The human race is so arrogant
Believing that they are the most superior in this world
That they can live without the mercy of God who should be in control
Look around you
The world is already at an end


Details | Free verse | |

Hello my Old Friend

Hello, my old friend...
Did you miss me?
It seems like forever since we last met like this
Hello, my old friend...
Did you miss the warm touch of my skin?
I missed the way your cool lips feel against my wrist
The little nip and nibble as you let out my demons
Did you miss the ribbons of blood that run through these veins?
I know I missed you.
Hello, my old friend...
You want to help me get through this?
Thank you for listening
No one else does
No one else helps
Nor would they even know where to begin.
You're the only true friend I have
Hello, my old friend...
Did you miss the fragile veins in my wrist?
You once said they reminded you so much like twigs trapped under ice...
So please, friend
Bite down and snap a few twigs here or there.
Hello, my old friend...
Like a doctor you cure my pain
You know exactly which areas to touch and to tease
Hello, my old friend
You're the only one who listens
You're the only one who knows how I really feel
and you're the only one who knows the temporary fix
To what aches and ails me
Hello my old friend
Did you do something new?
I noticed the shine and the gleam in your eye
You're looking pretty sharp these days
Hello, my old friend
Hello my razor blade
Goodbye thoughts and goodbye pain
Good bye voices in my brain.
 


Details | Free verse | |

Beslan- Russia 2004

Under a free sky, today
on a beach in Australia
I gathered from the white sand beach
ancient, sea- worn shells.
Another world away they gathered up
the siege-worn bodies of their children

As I rinsed my weathered treasures
in crsytal blue ocean waves; they were burying their innocents,
lowering them into early graves

All around me freedom shimmered
while they, grief stricken, had helpless tears
that shone on white, shocked cheeks
I felt the sun, warm on my skin
while they felt the deep chill of evil mocking them

I think I know how precious freedom is
They are sure of it, as they bury their dreams
 with children they would have died for
In the face of such callous cruelty
we feel just as helpless 
Gulls hover above me like thoughts
They go out to them - on freedom's wings

 Suzanne Delaney


Details | Free verse | |

Elegy of a farewell

cutting the line, turning the page in front of the mirror 
removing your name from the door 
because it should be irreplaceable 
for ever 
I can not write anymore 
of this fierce absence 
that doesn't fear the ice of the night 
that doesn't break itself 
in the dark depths of your distance 
it's the most terrible night 
 it's the most suffocating 
and paralyzing Winter 
in the broken dream 
of a bright mirror 
it was yours, and it was mine, just yesterday 

and was shattered at a stroke 
in an only instant 
ruining into smithereens sharp 
with whom, devastating me, 
they cut my soul 
in the smallest arid fragments 
not reconstructable 

landsliding-dawn 
on the threshold of our house 
when it lacks even the verse, and you can not 
you can not turn the page 
 in front of the mirror  
 anymore 

and you only can 
remove her name 
 from the door 
because it should be 
irreplaceable 
for ever 


Details | Free verse | |

The Bird that is Loved and Loathed

It burns and it stings.
It hurts.
More than drowning beneath 
the ice.
More than remaining in a 
kindled flame
She hits and I no longer cry.
Why mother, why? 

It burned and it stung.
The markings remained, 
returned, and were relived
Looking, loving, and little 
known loathing were the known 
ways of living.
Never was their pity for the 
child that cried
Never was their relief for the 
child that tried

You were that lovely bird that 
understood the complications of 
felicity 
Nothing looked the same in 
those dewy browns of yours.
My everbeating would cry tears 
of joy.
The others-they were yet to 
appear.
Caring Mother, o' so fair
 You were that beautiful bird 
filled with care.

The others came and were not 
alone. Their two suitors sat on 
the throne.
Rampage and rage why did you 
come?
I began to wither and wither 
slumping along. So very soon I-
the child of fines- became a 
human raceme. 
The droops of the Lily of the 
Valley became the slumping of 
my heart.
My lovely bird the enemy had 
taken you and the person you 
were is far from near.
For that divine nature left its 
intricate self and you became 
irretrievable my big bird.
All of your fairness died.
With that went my pride.
 
Mother, Mother what moved 
you so? 
Your intense spirt vanished only 
to supplement a monster. 
Mother, Monster and your tar 
filled lungs. 
How did I kill that liver that was 
so, so strong?
The lesson of pain was one you 
came to learn.
My darling bird why did you 
turn?
 
My lovely bird and your big 
brown eyes
I'll tell you once, but never 
twice.
Pain is only a flower for it 
blooms and dies
And a mistake can be killed as 
quickly as lice.
 You dear bird hurt me well. 
Though, haven't you heard?
Weakness is a souls greatest 
strength.
You brought me up, then you 
brought me down.
You haved helped, hurt, and 
hindered my blazing spirit.
A hero in my heart-I left you 
down in your deep black 
slumber. 
Escaping those terrible nights
To go for the town of delights. 


Details | Free verse | |

A Bold Master

say's my heart, let me fly 
chains and bonds, of world and lie
say's the hollow , follow me up
pains in my eyes, just don't let me sob...

My path is alone, just let me follow
weight of my dreams, doesn't chase me slow
sky so wide , braces me tight
say's its silence, yes, you are ELITE....

Throne of the ocean, awaits me ,dry;
prince of pain being born to CRY
says my light ,blow me off
hands of my hope ,still in cuffs

Voice deep within,shouting so loud!
supreme of love;this is what all its about.
Path of your dreams ,upon which you fall.
REMEMBER, fruit of your failure is the sweetest of all...........


Details | Free verse | |

The Rat Race

As a child, I had much to do
Crushed it, when I tried to grew
Participant of the Rat Race, I am
Suddenly everything was scattered away

Now when I try to think of you
And calculate what went wrong
Where was my mind that day?
Why everything went so wrong?

After endless struggle, when I dream
Those equations , cry and scream
My demand curve went wrong way
And that was the end of everything 

The sweet little Tom & Jerry
still playing with no worries
Then my mind cries and says
those days are so far away

Every-time when I think of it
I think as I'm a liar and cheat
After this endless bargaining 
Life ends here.... Screaming


Details | Free verse | |

A Blue Boy's Death Wish

A fragile mind breaks 
Wake upon the rock laden shores
A muffled heart begs to echo
Whispers lost among a velvet chamber

Dusk comes premature time and again
Dropping the curtain on an optimistic sunrise
If you never witness dawn
There is no tomorrow

Always the dreamer aches
Never awake to make real what he desires
The restless corpse walks blind
Dead ends seem fitting for one of the kind

Lost in the labyrinth of strangling vines
Love is the motive and the weapon
Taking root in throats dry from weeping
Sprouts of amnesia in place of smiles
A garden called heartbreak holds onlookers captive
The comfort takes hold, sets in the bones weary of searching
A plea for rest lands on deaf ears

The hollow boy tires of himself
The last request he will ever make
"End me"
Lost and tired
He wishes to be weak no more


Details | Free verse | |

Death spare life till dawn

In hardship of circumstance leading to my repentance Victories witnessed, now my senile sickness Joys that flooded my soul engulf me in whole Sorrows that come to me at night keep me up in fright Can’t mercy be on my side under its shadow can I hide? Death be not my provoker or midnight choker But puts us in order like lambs to slaughter; be sober ‘Cause the Black Stars "sees us hiding like thieves in the night of life" Regardless of poverty or strife; husband or wife It still strikes hearts like a bitter knife Or death’s potent arrow, coming on the wings of a black sparrow Is there tomorrow with so much sorrow? With so much life we mourn, Death spare life till dawn Now consider this song not as a remedy But a strategy to let men for tells the tragedy…


Details | Free verse | |

Freedom Remembered

In a zoo in a strange land
a zebra stands 
flaunting the bright stripes
 of a collective band 
against the russett tussle of leaves
 that exit trees before a cold wind.

He is far  from the windswept plain
of his dreams; that parched place
where drought adapted trees wane,
 until at last renewed by rain,
an over-night fantasy of growth
 glides greenly,
quicker than evening-tide.

Here, where Autumn has a strange glow,
bare trees, steal the dapple from his coat. 
Knee deep in a pile of red leaves
he yields the life blood of his soul,
flowing from a freedom remembered

 Suzanne Delaney


Details | Free verse | |

The Transience of Experience

What is my conception of love?
Now that I let me straw hat rest 
On the rocks of Moses’ teachings
 Now that I behold robins pick my seeds

What is my conception of love?
Love is an old cotton Djellaba
I wear early sometime in December 
When Goethe’s muse rambles alone
The deserted Georgian streets of Borjomi

Eliza found a perennial Canadian love
Probably in the wings of a broken dove
She tends to it by late May rosewater
Sadly, she shuns the idea of a second abandonment 

You know that I know that nothing remains the same
Not even my grandmother’s sesame candies 
Let me just sip alone those cups of rusty mirage

My brown Turkish beret shall rest alone
On the broken trim of a shaded window
Overlooking a battered copy of Truth and Method


Details | Free verse | |

Longing

Today I remembered you 
When I put on my boots
And when I saw our team logo
on the jersey of some dudes
Then during lunch, in the restaurant
for your inevitable love for meat
And later because of a picture
in the book I taught
My body was there, my mind was not
Then  in the bulged eyes
 of a guy on the billboard
In the email draft that was never sent
In the shower  I'd love we shared
And on this empty side of my bed


Details | Free verse | |

Sinning is the Only Path to Martyrdom

It’s an antichristian theory and method
The way I give myself this plague	
Sickening solitary sustenance of my own sins
An urchin warm within my spirit like a fetus in a womb 
It’s Godless; I’m Godless
To glorify a madman
It’s habitual
To let the madman in 


Details | Free verse | |

THE ART OF PRETENDING

I hate it when you feel

that I like you even if it's real

It felt more like being naked

in front of you then I feel rejected

Coz there she is in your arms

comfortably feeling your warmth

I could only just pass you by

with a heart full of sadness then I silently cry

I guess this is how it all ends...

I'll deal with the pain..til I master the art of pretending

 

I'll pretend that I don't care

and try to forget you slowly I swear

But why does it hurt so much

to try to break away from your touch

You are a poetry in motion

when you look my way I fall into deep illusion

I suddenly think of the impossible

that eventually for me you will fall

You awaken that feeling within me

the feeling of wanting to be loved by you for eternity

But that'll never happen I know

I must be content and go on with the show

 

That I can only care less about you

that you no longer have the power to make me feel blue

That I can be happy on my own

that I am fine,that I am strong

And that though my heart breaks

in every minute it aches

I know eventually I'll deal with the pain

As soon as I've mastered the art of pretending.


Details | Free verse | |

Thou Shalt Not Kill

Thou Shalt Not Kill

We think in a court of law . . .
Where the death sentence is being carried out
Use of the Holy Bible should never be allowed
For this breaks one of the Almighty Lord God’s 
Moral imperatives in the Ten Commandments 
Whereby, He declared: “Thou Shalt Not Kill.”

Our verdict on this subject is . . .
This action is certainly not a man-given right
To do such an immoral thing.

The very executors . . . 
Of such a heinous sentence 
Are no better than the 
Monsters they kill,
But kill them they do.

We as human beings . . .
Truly must be better than this.
Or is this trait an indelible aspect of our psyche
And our collective Cosmic DNA?

Perhaps down the line . . .
God himself gives these particular sinners 
A full taste of His Divine Redemption or His Divine Retribution.
His Choice.

The death penalty is not justice at all . . .
It’s just an easy way of getting rid of problems
And sweeping them conveniently under the rug. 

Life is truly sacred . . . 
“Thou Shalt Not Kill”
A timeless Christian virtue.

All of us, as thinking intelligent creatures . . .
Who inhabit this Earth
Should devoutly treasure this divine commandment.

Amen!  Amen!  Amen!

Liam McDaid and Gary Bateman – October 24, 2014 (Free Verse Collaboration)


Details | Free verse | |

All is well

A single golden light 
Danced through the frame,
And spangled out of the dark house
As snow spun downward 
Into the abyss of the night.
A man trembled inside
Shaking his head in pain.
Tears grew off his face and
Watered the floor.
He sat for sometime,
Then slid off the couch
And heavily trudged up the stairs.
He opened the door and saw his son, sleeping
Soundly in the swollen room.
The hushed raspy breaths of the boy
Echoed in the stillness of the man's heart.
Moonlight spilled through the pane
tricking the blue curtains to shine.
And in his heart he knew,
All is well.

Then moving to the next room,
Where the form still lay,
Of his teenaged daughter.
Headphones jammed loud in her ears,
Playing the beat of her resistance.
The man was glad she could escape 
What he could not.
Softly he leaned over and kissed
Her forehead, whiffing the smell 
Of her fresh hair die.
And in his heart he knew,
All is well.

Shutting the door behind him,
Staggered down the stairs,
Leaned on the banister.
His gaze met the open room.
Empty with lace curtains,
Plush couches, 
And his spirit glass.
Then through his swollen eyes
He lingered over the pictures on the wall,
And silently walked to his desk.
He pulled the drawer open
A brush of cedar hit his nose,
He use to love that smell.
He pulled out a revolver.
And in his heart he knew,
CLICK
It wasn't.


Details | Free verse | |

To Where a Snowflake dies

A war in heaven reluctantly concedes
To the lullaby's in the night singing softly
Covering us in heavenly whisper blows
As feathers falling light so intense and gracefully 
Escaping God's whitened watery coves

And somewhere up above
I believe there are angels also grooming
Thus, for the twilight showing, shedding as they rush
The world as such, always in a hurry
But, for an instance and out of nowhere
An avalanche of marvel captivates the hush

And in my distant mind I most certainly can relate
As to the stars and ancient sands of grain
My tongue tasting these miracles of wonder
Reaching further to acquiesce
In greetings, to miniature designs
Crafted out of God's very hands of great

While, celestial bodies move
Constant shadows consume
Around assumptions of the human mind 
Thus, begins the dusk and ends 
To the place where a snowflake dies

Look around
Who is it that seems to care
Or thinks to ponder the manual labor input here
With hammers, chisels, nuts and bolts
Never to witness to a mere mistake
Or upon discovery any kind of error

Yet, I listen… to the silence…
Extracting all its pleasure
Before, another million frigid seedlings ashen
Met with daunting fate
And in the still of tranquil
Neither snowflake cries out or offers up complaints

For a day
Or merely several nights evermore
A complex purpose
Or to thus, a simpler existence
Then, I pause...
Unto supposition, as I meditate the message

Guesses drift off, into what's last unknown
Of the never ending knowing
Embracing their provident life
Watch as they embrace each other closer
In a bank of ice, waiting for the melting




Details | Free verse | |

You're My Plague

You plague me with your sweltering disease My heart throbs in unease You carry me off to a far-off island Your breeze keeps me flowin’…scraping sand Your names escapes my lips I tell myself, “Get a grip, dude…” But you decided to intrude... My blood drips to the floor I’ve been losing balance… The instant you pushed me aside Your quietude devours me… I can’t help, but hide… I feel horribly disheartened…feelin’ too insignificant To start my day with a good note Too discouraged to be motivated to run… You trade me your pain in the past I consume it like a bear My stomach is churning persistently…you’re running too fast… I’m dowsed in despair My eyes stare vacantly…into space…they roam happily Your vigilance keeps me safe and sound…I dwell in your tranquility Your dreams caress my own… This intriguing comfort never makes me feel alone I’m under your dazzlin’ spell… This is heaven – not living hell! I’ve been bruising myself over you…for a while now The moment you abandoned me that night… Your rejoicing mends my gash…heals my mind… I think better of you – everything’s black and white I feel so exquisite when I’m around you… So inspired to reveal my might…just shine your light On me…and remember to meet me at sun rise… But I still feel malnourished… By your sweltering disease My heart refuses to beat in perfect rhythm – my high hopes nearly perished By your forceful breeze…pushing me on my knees I’m stumbling off my feet – I’m not at all pleased I’m not in the mood to be teased… I’m suffering…I’m not discreet How did you push me off my feet? Why do you make ME feel so damn miserable and incomplete? You plague me with your sweltering disease My heart pounds as I fall upon my blood-stained knees You carry me away to an unknown place Your voice still rings in my ears… I glance at your admirable face I’ve faced you way too many times – Your sparkling with majestic brilliance and pure grace


Details | Free verse | |

Sleeping Kate -extended version-

-I love the simplicity of the old one. But this extended version is special, I think...-


Caskets unmade 
Naked bodies sprawled in waste
Yellow, white and pale brown skins all in one
Emaciated fear lingering in the pale eyes

Spines tingle at the crunch of excessive skeletons
Grimy boots unmercifully stomp

Nostrils used to the stench
Ready or not, embracing the ash
Afraid to express
Afraid to breathe
Unable to stop the grief

Colder eyes than the dead themselves look on
They are bored, it seems
Untainted by the sound of groans
Unmoved by the crack of weak spines
Spineless themselves, these guards even smile
Frozen, blue eyes iced with a sneer
Black, demonic pupils steadied overtime
The corpses reflected in their transparent gloss

Teeth grind

A young boy picks up a dried hip bone
Small, calloused fingers clutch the last of his father
The eternal frowned mouth is caked with drool, tears and muck
Hair whitened as if ghosts have stolen his youth
This bone is jagged and worn
Once used by force as a bowl for his insect-infested meal
Shakily given to Her—the last She would eat
Before the officials watched Her slowly starve 
Today the bone will be used as a shovel—his final labor
Last effort for closure

The boy knows they are all looking
Both the enemy and the oppressed unified
All experiencing, all watching
He simply knows that overtime,
Tears of hope will decompose the hardest of hearts

And the boy drives his shovel into the hard ground
Pounding away at the chilled, blood-stained soil
Drowning out the groans with his own cries
Flooding the dryness with his sorrows
Breaking up the surface to bury Sleeping Kate

Sleeping Kate showed the officers
The skeleton she built out of bone fragments
Sleeping Kate told them we were all the same inside
With this truth, she died
With their guilt, they continued life
They tried. . .

The officers tried to bury Sleeping Kate
But Sleeping Kate is always alive,
Building skeletons in their minds. . .


Details | Free verse | |

Traffic

My sadness is a blind worm
Digging and going forward
Onward and downward 
Toward an imagined light 
To see

Thought is weak, a leaky bucket
My heart is heavy, my eyes are bloody
I smile to a world that does not care
Or even notice that I am dying 
To be seen

Clear skies, the stars are gone 
Sudden clouds are a grin, mocking me
My head is spinning from looking up
And going around in circles; there’s nothing 
To see

Words are traffic signs on the
Highway of my soul; stop ‘n go
Life’s a dead end, a one way street
Tires screech, here I stop, hoping
To be seen


Details | Free verse | |

Everything and Nothing

She loved the way the salty air 
kissed her rosy cheeks,
She loved the way the warm 
blankets kept her safe,
She loved the feeling of the 
soapy bubbles against her skin,
She loved the sky just before 
sunset,
The sound of the crickets as 
they chirped around her,
The water rippling as she 
kicked her feet in the puddle,
Her family,
Her friends,
The boy who would never know 
she existed.
The boy who would never know 
what she loved
Because even though she loved 
a lot of things,
She couldn't love herself.


Details | Free verse | |

My Beloved Sweetheart


Affection and solicitude
rises in my eyes,
shaped into tears
as fresh as dew,
she was first and new,

lays calm and motionless
touch lost, ways parted,
Best of moments passed
as a flash of light,
an absolutely unprofitable life,

Rosy cheeks,
glittery eyes,
knee long silky hair,
tall and perfect thin,
why lay quiet ?

Who provoked you ?
Why been so impulsive
to quit ?
Did I mean a hurt
That you harried? 

I drown deep into,
love that's like
suicide in river,
prick of a thorn
to body with no soul,

love is still hung
like a crystal before me,
I can feel fragrance
of your eternal breath,
My beloved sweetheart ! 
 
Fire burns in my heart
tranquilize,
flowing emotions
down my cheeks,
pacify,

My love, my inspiration,
how could u take leave of,
and leave me alone 
in world to suffer
You ought to reply !
My beloved sweetheart !





written on 3/5/14
sponsor- Amy green


 


Details | Free verse | |

Sunken Silence

Sunken deep down into the dark depths,
So far no light has reached this part
As I swim in suspended silence, 
I keep fighting to survive I pray for breath
Or is it death?

One who is drowning has no fight left
To struggle and rebel against the truth will tell,
Everywhere is darkness, time is running out
Life leaves the heart as silence surrounds
My body no more, drowned.

Awoken from sleep.

Freedom from another dream
To find myself on a screen
Watching myself as a teen
Playing a role in a familiar scene…

The young boy is locked inside
Rusty bars in a cell. He cries,
No one can hear his pleas, denied.

They lied.

Against the urges he did fight
So hard he did try.

He tells himself lies
As the sunshine hides 
In the
Long
Cold
Dark
Night.


Details | Free verse | |

Minuet

While I sit here
holding you
deep in my arms
whispering to you
so many reasons to live..
Take a minuet 
to wipe the tears from your eyes
and tell me one reason 
to breathe...

                                          
 
                                          Contest: Chasing the blue's away
                                                         1/31/13


Details | Free verse | |

Scars Left Behind

It is hard not to trace back 
All those memories
Which you kept behind you 
While you were dreaming in your trip.
Those long moments when you grieved
Those short moments when you breath’d.
From here I can hear some voices of your trip
From there there were no choices in your grip.
Just listen to those immense fragile noises:
When you kept crying,
Laughing, trying and maybe dying
Perhaps I was you— when you were lying
To your thinghood...!

Womanhood is like Robin Hood—
It is always chased in the wood.
Many trees are cut off without roots,
And shall never give birth to the last roots.

When the sun goes down
I pretend to be sad,
So that my night dreams
Are filled of stars instead.

When the moon goes up
I play the role of the dead—
When the moon goes up
I close my eyes and go to bed 
When the moon goes up
I beat my heart and feel so sad
Is there any way to see the moon smile without dread?


Yasser Rhimi


Details | Free verse | |

The eyes

Never I know,
what is flowing form your eyes to my heart 
I only feel  somthing collapse.
and gradually I finish...


Details | Free verse | |

a man of constant sorrow

i am leaving here today
from the cradle to the grave
1500 miles to go 
ain't nothing going to stand in my way
i am a man of constant sorrow

left her in fort smith , Arkansas
shes running around with all the fellows
i know i can't look back 
it hurts so much 
i am a man of constant sorrow

heading out no turning back 
i am a man of constant sorrow
leaving that life far behind '
i am a man of constant sorrow

finally in california a new start a new life
no more heartache no more strife
new highways to drive 
if i don't drive them in the ground
i am a man of constant sorrow 

heading out no turning back 
i am a man of constant sorrow
leaving that life far behind '
i am a man of constant sorrow


Details | Free verse | |

Chair of Death

On a cool afternoon for tea,
She sat in that chair,
Humming for our silence;
Her bones quivering the instrumentals
Within the ruffles of the skin.
When her tune came to an end,
She took time to turn our way.
Not because she felt obliged 
That she had all the time in the world,
But because her youth had shredded
To make her nothing but one
Who hoped for time.
For the painstaking moments passed
And we locked eyes.
She fought her raging wrinkles to smile
And nod my way.

Perhaps she tried too hard
To say a decent goodbye.

One would think he keeps it
Because he has to.
We'd sit on the floor first
Before we touch that chair.
For it encases you, 
Tightens its weight upon you
And hums so sweetly between the ear and soul,
The sounds of a sour, unsaid farewell.


Details | Free verse | |

infinitesimal beauty

The veil is rising 

Easing off 
my fear strained face,
it catches 
on crystalized tears,
pulling away 
I bath in liberty

The first airless void
stills all movement,
abandon was never 
nameless, faceless 

No longer condemned 
sliding towards the light,
I take in my first breath 
free of regret and torment 

In the ensuing minutes
infinitesimal beauty
takes my breath again 
as I exhale my first sigh...


Details | Free verse | |

Dress Code

Dress Code


Black pencil skirt
Black pants and black shoes, black blouse that’s the dress code here all black.

To a Macys employee our dress code identifies you and where you work-Macys.

I interviewed for a job at a nearby Macys department store so….
I get a nice email saying I didn’t get hired not once not twice but three times in five years.

I say I’ll apply again but the same thing happens and I wonder aimlessly if I’ll ever get hired at Macys.

I am very interested in Macys Careers after College after I graduate from college in about a year.

I once got hired at JC Penny. I really wanted and still want a job at Macys to be among the “employees” that must follow the dress code.

I would do it proudly.


Details | Free verse | |

Waiting for the Rain

After the door shuts and the footsteps die,
I rehearse the words I wanted to say.
I tumble them around and around in my mind.
Juggle them. Rewrite them to perfection.
But I won't see you again.

Perhaps it is better this way.

Those nights we spent entwined in moonlit silk,
our hearts beating wildly, kisses so soft
a mere feather could have tasted my lips,
how could such passion be sustained?
Surely we would have burnt out
like two candles beckoned by one flame.

And those days by the beach,
when you playfully teased the ocean,
your skirt lifted high,
the waves bathing your thighs in sea foam,
like the bubbles from your nightly baths.
I still want to lick the saltiness away,
but we've both been battered and beaten
against the shore to the point of loneliness.

We used to be like rain drops,
splashing into the same pool,
spreading ourselves out to the world.
We explored the City in all it's splendor,
gathering other rain drops as we went along.
We were fluid and irresistible - two crazy gals.
But attractions cannot last during droughts.

Your highs became lows, crashes so hard,
the forceful blows struck even me.
I would have shared your pain,
sat in vigil until the rain began again.
I watched your beauty fade into a grey mass,
thunder clouds so fierce I was sure to get wet.
But you couldn't wait it out,
your tears dried upon your ashen face.
I didn't want us to end like this,
our love pounded into the ground.

As the door shuts and the footsteps die,
rain beats against the window panes,
begging to be let in.


Details | Free verse | |

I See You Everywhere

What do I say now? Where do I start?
Without you beside me, I'm falling apart
Thinking of you, know it isn't too smart
But I See You Everywhere, oh my poor heart

Love in her ways
She drifts slowly past me
A spring in her step
Oh she's moving too fastly
Upside down now
She turns my heart and soul
Reflecting in my mind
And in my heart, a hole
Every time she crosses my mind
I'm reminded of the pain
No chance to love her
She'll forget my name

So what do I say now? And where do I start?
Because without you beside me girl, I'm falling apart
Thinking of you, I know it isn't too smart
But I Still See You Everywhere, and oh my poor heart


Details | Free verse | |

WHAT ARE YOU

What are you to impinge on our doors,
We quiver in awe and relinquish our live?
What are you that you detract,
Our beloved before our eyes?
What are you that you drag our beloved,
So slowly and painfully?
What are you that you torment our beloved,
While we look helpless and powerless?
Why are we to live in fear of your name?
There have been names, but
No name is more fearful than yours.
Are we fighting a losing battle against you?
Or is this the beginning of our ending lives?
Aids, just what are you?


Details | Free verse | |

The Adagio of Sacrifice

This fight is over. We lost, they won. They would kill us both without any remorse.
I am not afraid to die. I am weak. Yet you, so young and pure who doesn’t even know peace.
I cannot fight, nor resist. So now, go young one. And do not forget the land of your birth.
I cannot walk, nor run. I am done for so now, go young one and save yourself.
I cannot speak nor shout. I am too weak so now, go young one and gain the strength to fight.
You are young, and you are strong. I am dying so now, go young one and live for those who died.
They are here now to kill us both. So run little one and remember me for always till eternity.


Details | Free verse | |

I Just Found Out

I Just Found Out how precious life can be
Can a father be any prouder then the day of his first son
All the hopes for the best to be given
All the dreams for what he might grow to become
A father’s wishes for his son – what a grand vision
The son is five – the first day of school
Father consoles mother who is in tears
The son is thirteen – no longer the boy
Father plays catch and cheers when his son plays
The son now eighteen- graduation has come
Father had given him the keys for the senior prom 
The son is out late for the night- as expected he would be
The father answers the doorbell – it is three
Mr. Father- a voice questions me
I am sorry to inform you- the state trooper tells me.
Oh- the terror – dear Lord you should have taken me


Details | Free verse | |

I V

               I  V


                       He sat quietly in the incoporeal 
                     thought theater of confusion never listening to 
                   everpresent unsatisfied yet insatisible quivering 
                 thoughtfulls of glowing fantasies intrepid night 
               romances doing the don’ts of life and society
            I can taste you in my dreams   touch you in my
         nonsleep care for your waterfall uncommon 
       in luxury midnite delicious door chime 
     renedevous windcaste fate  meld of mind and 
   soul of flesh and time, one nonapart
 minute embracement  
                                 (and close my eyes)


dave collins


Details | Free verse | |

The Magic is Gone Now

My father 
   died 4 years ago 
           He was a 
fine pianist
   and the music of Debussy 
        flowed from his fingers
             The music took
me on a mental 
     journey 
Took me to France and Spain
   in my imagination
Debussy felt the beauty of all of nature 
    well up inside him 
  and expressed in the gorgeous sounds 
he created
    No long will I hear "Moonlight" and "The Sunken Cathedral"
   on my father's Steinway 
Every time I hear those pieces performed 
    I feel a wave of sadness
overcome me 
   Sadness combined with joy and great respect
for the magic of Debussy which I have known 
and which my late father knew how to express in sound
6/1/2014


Details | Free verse | |

The Song of the Caged Bird

When the caged bird sings
It tells of her story
The song will be sad
Like a dirge
A lamentation
For her plight
Of her bondage

When the caged bird sings
It tells of her longing
To be free
To spread her wings
And fly away
To freedom land
That has no walls

There she is free
To fly towards the sun
Free to embrace the wind
Caressing her wingtips
As she glides
In the open sky

Within the walls of her cage
She is shackled, oppressed
She cannot spread her wings
And freely fly
Untouched by the wind
Unbathed by the glowing sun
The caged bird withers
Till she slowly dies
From her misery
The never ending agony
Forgotten, unremembered
Without knowing
How it feels to be free


Details | Free verse | |

Solitude

Close to heart, a long-time friend I seek solace, in the loneliness of its hold It consumes me.


Details | Free verse | |

Too Close Am I

I shattered my own heart,
Wrecking balls, tumbling decisions,
It fell upon me too late,
Forever and now I will lose what I held so dear,

But I held it out at arms length,
I let it fall, the uncurling my fingers,
Sinking into an emotional seat that engulfs me,
I so desperately buried the threat,

Happy once, I have not forgotten,
The taste of joy upon my lips still,
How could one ever forget the ecstasy that is happiness,
For we all seek it within the nil,

Berserk and rampant in my head,
A beast set loose upon my mental state,
So silent am I, my comfort so walks away,
So silent I can hear the screams echo within the blank,

Damp and dark are my thoughts of late,
Cramped tight inside, no prison break,
Hoping to find my way,
Before fear swallows me in regret,
And I become lost in my own wake.


Details | Free verse | |

UTMT

Hurry up
Someone is waiting
Looking for
Someone not there
I was there
You didn't see me
I was hiding though
I was just steps behind you
If you'd only look back
If only you would
You'd see me
I might smile
If you smile at me
I might say hi
If you say hello
But you didn't have the time
The time to look back
I'll be waiting right here
Exactly where I last saw you
Maybe someday...
You'll remember something
Or
You might remenber someone
And come back to a place
You and I know
You'll see me there
And I'll see you again
I'll smile
Maybe you'll smile back
I'll say hi
Maybe you'll say hello
I am wide open
Maybe dead.

***
UTMT (Under The Mango Tree)
Its a special to me
Its a famous spot in my High School


Details | Free verse | |

Dont You Judge me

My words could only be understood 
By these who have felt my pain
These who have tried to hard 
These who felt they lost everything 

Don’t judge me because I loved once before
Don’t judge me because i'm scared once more
Don’t judge me for who I am not 
Don’t judge me because you DONT know me

If you know me you would understand
If you met him you would love
If you lost him you would cry
If your alone you would sometimes want to die

I cant write an love poem with the same feeling
I guess I’m not happy anymore
But it was all him
Because I will love him always

Even though we have moved on
Even though we make the right choices 
You will always ask yourself 
Why did this happen 


Details | Free verse | |

A Pauper When You Die

 In life great riches had I, and
all that money could possibly buy
Before me lay great wealth and
Prosperity,  but a lowly pauper was I 
Acquiring great riches consumed me, but for
all those riches  did afford only heartache and 
sorrow for inside I was  among men most poor
Destitute I was for I owned nothing that was lasting
For worldly treasures of silver and gold I gladly sold my soul
To great the price too great the loss!
I never knew worldly pleasures would exact such a high cost
 For this great wisdom I now possess  I must sadly confess 
Gold and silver can help you on no further than the grave
where you lie, for you are a pauper when you die.
  








Details | Free verse | |

The Snowy Life of Two Loving Ghosts

Taking suggestions especially on this poem. This is a first draft and I like it, but I don't have time to edit at the moment. Thank you!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two ghosts dance through the barren forrest,
leaving footsteps to be pondered about
by the man who owns the land in the morning.
Howls and Screams and Laughter and Love
fill the dewy dark sky.
The two, lovers in death,
never knowing of the truth,
that their lives were taken
Snowfalls before,
being murdered in these woods,
their throat slits and their bodies mutilated,
No one knew who they were.

But here they are again,
running through the spindly trees,
taking in the scenes of their
eternal winter.
He takes her hand,
leading her to an opening in the trees,
a perfect circle, no light insight
but the stars above,
so beautiful,
so prominent.
Theres not a place in this town
better than this
to see the future amongst the stars.

They came here that day,
tent in one hand,
telescope in the other;
their thoughts in the air.
They were seventeen,
Seniors awaiting the approval
of a diploma,
They should be studying,
mid-terms next week.
They took a fatal break,
spent the night together,
only belonging to each other.

The ghosts;
who's sight doesn't recognize
the spot of their demise. 
They sit on top of a large smooth stone,
Left their by the world in it's hurry.
They gaze upon the stars,
waiting for the world to reveal itself.
The screams and wails and love still permeate the air.

They fell asleep in each others arms,
and so they never heard the footsteps,
the drunken laughs of men full of sin,
ready for some action.
They found the tent,
they killed the innocent souls,
but instead of leaving they bodies,
they left the ghosts,
taking the bodies and
depositing them in the freezing lake.
They then sat upon the rock,
laughing about the deed done,
passing out in the deadfall of snow.

The transparent lovers jump to the snow,
throwing themselves down to sleep the night away.
They cuddle,
protecting each other from the snow,
the danger,
the truth.
The smile,
and with one last scream,
they kiss,
disappearing,
merging with the snow,
Part of the world,
and this spot full of false truths.

No longer do lively bodies wander about the woods,
and the owner hardly visits.
But a few times each winter,
when the snow has fallen so deep,
You can hear the screams,
the howls, 
the laughter
and the love
of two ghosts
dancing in the snow.


Details | Free verse | |

Rose Thorn

Memories of your dress fiddling
your legs in the summer
night breeze
made my heart to leap with ecstacy
that can light a bulb.

The sweet fruit cakes that you have made
for our anniversaries
have been finger-licking good.

.......but.......someone.......a man......
holding holding your hips
and gazing at your face,
is the LAST thing I expected to see;
the album of you and I shrank
at lightning speed at that instant!

The sight left me and you
in love as a myth.........


Details | Free verse | |

Life Goes On

I know that chocking feeling of redundancy
Like your calamities were always inevitable, 
Life its self simply shunned your existence 
Reduced you to nothing, but   squalor 
As the world wipes its feet 
On what used to be you face.


I know how it feels to be trapped
In an endless cyclone called stress
Where worries and joys swap lanes
And you left drowning in your pool of blood
Because mother earth left one miss call for you:
“Didn’t you hear, I do not care”.


Details | Free verse | |

Losing Grip

Future held such initial promise
But shallow dreams disintegrated
Coalescing into shallower reality

Despite my youth, pain cripples me to geriatric apathy
General interest long gone, death has become the single concern
A welcome embrace, a welcome friend
Tardiness is expected, as well as encouraged

Release me from these eternally shrinking walls
Allow the peons to continue their superficial pursuits
Never meshing well into the fold, I yearn simply for permanent isolation
There is not enough joy to justify the agony that life forever guarantees me

Nihilism and anger, desires for maniacal retribution, the only feelings I've ever known
Clouded over now by perpetual physical torment, my formerly hollow shell continues to exist without capacity for optimism
Yet without hate, there seems nothing left
Shall I forever be adrift?


Details | Free verse | |

Our Divine Haven

This town was the place we used to call our haven 
You don’t remember which road we’ve driven on 
The stars were shining against your cherished soul 
You’re a part of my belongings 
You’re ascending above the ground 
The peace is still like hidden treasure – it’s bound to be found

I believe in you…I put my faith in you
After the miracles you’ve performed 
You don’t agree with what you truly are 
The sky is grieving 
You jump from puddle to puddle
You’re struggling to meet your destiny  
Even if your body is saturated in sweat
You must keep your head above the sea

Follow me and I’ll lead you to divine haven 
Forgive the past that embraces you with remorse and think upon our jubilant future
It’s tempting to just give up and turn around 
I could tell you've been stressing out 
But rest your head on my shoulders and let loose your strain on me  

Each melody is an exquisite sound that bounces into our ears
Commotion and strife will cease and your heart will be free
We’ll flee  together…despite the unwholesome weather 
The voyage has just begun…hold my hand and we’ll rise like the sun
Trust me…we will be strengthened and well-equipped before we take that road of victory  

Follow me and I’ll lead you to divine haven 
Forgive the past that embraces you with remorse and think upon our jubilant future
It’s tempting to just give up and turn around 
You’d rather be drifting away and never be seen again 
I wanna change your mind and erase your frown
Take your mind off of the distressful past
Let loose your strain on me  

Hey! I know you’re stronger than you realize
You’re not a failure – don’t be disheartened  
Don’t worry…you and I will earn our future prize 
This mess will clear up in a moment
Just stay by my side and never depart 
From the light… I promise that we’ll endure till the end
Just stay nearby and our hope won’t tear apart
We are willing to do anything to attain our wishes and delight  
Let’s take action and snatch our glory before our time is up 

Follow me and I’ll lead you to divine haven 
Forgive the past that embraces you with remorse and think upon our jubilant future
It’s tempting to just give up and turn around 
You've been trying to keep a steady pace 
But rest your head on my shoulders and let loose your strain on me

Let loose your stress on me…
Don’t be under pressure
Let me handle your anxiety…
Reach towards our divine haven
Do you need a helping hand? 

I wish you a carefree 
Future


Details | Free verse | |

When Enough is NOT Enough

woeful dreams of shattered hearts
bode cries of weary souls adrift 
in sorrow’s  impossible embrace

its deathless spirit forever longing 
unknown questions  overwrought
in darken corners without sound

till quiet whisper’s passing hope 
their bosom bursting with secrets
in vain consciously disappeared

a shadowy mystery’s forgotten
nightmare knowingly awakened
in blindness’ forbidden retreat

a senseless loss yet unexplained
engulfed by continuous despair
in a maelstrom’s hidden depths 

its tipping point deeply mired 
by nonstop waves of lost tears 
in a tempest of howling winds

of returned dust e’er scattered
from east to west and beyond
in the cycle of life now undone

when enough is NOT enough
and Hade’s thirst is quenched  
in limbo men’s souls remain

© Eugene Harvey


Details | Free verse | |

Rescue Me

Everything around this feels so wrong,
Feeling as if this does not belong,

Feeling trapped inside a world that isn't for this,
Retreating within to the recesses of this mind full of bliss,

This feels like screaming but to let it out would not do,
The people would hear this and wonder to what is wrong with you,

Then to shield this so no one would understand,
Wandering the depths of mind of this barren empty land,

Alone and confined in and of this cold crystal heart,
How can this ever hope to help others when this is crumbling apart?


Details | Free verse | |

Abjuration

Shooting stars penetrate the midnight sky
There is an unexplainable wonder that space fills inside
An astonishing sight unveils itself before my eyes
Not only from the stars, but from the night against the light
The achingly hollow cold—the marrow of my delight
Has slipped ever so soundly in my soul
The fog blankets the ground and reaches our feet
I feel the chilliness taking its toll
The ground shakes violently, perturbing uneasy life
And we witness the lightning flaring up the heavens
We see bodies collide in the distance. . .
Tons and tons of fear choke us all

And I can only watch the sky
As the innocent souls wither and die
I marvel at both natures—fellow man and creation
Muttering to myself nightmares of veracity
My eyes cradle the beauty left in the scene
It blows away everything once explained
I continue to shield myself from the light above
The stars can only pour over me for split moments
As my abjuration seeps like blood into the reveling soil 
Shattering like glass
Piercing us like arrows

February 20, 2013
A collab with my brother David (:


Details | Free verse | |

I'm tired of pretending Part 2

They don't understand when they've pushed me too far.
They never know when I've been pushed too far
They're all ignorant
No on really understands.
No one knows half of the thoughts that go through my mind
No one knows half of what I feel
I wear a facade to make others happy
To make others not worry
To make others not yell at me for doing somthing stupid.
I get so tired of pretending
Of locking it all away
Because locking it all away...
Well, it never helps.
It only makes me hurt more
It only causes my lungs to fill with lead
My heart to drop into the pit of my stomach
and my self destructive ways.
No one knows
Why I do what I do
No one knows
The silent pain everyone and myself put me through
No one knows
That I'm tired of being replaced
No one knows
That I'm tired of pretending.


Details | Free verse | |

The harsh light of day

The harsh light of day

The darkness surrounds you
It engulfs you
Paralyzed and broken, it drags you down
Deeper into its pit
Ascension, a fleeting dream
Demons surround you 
Torturing your soul further into madness 
Escape, there is none
Turning circles, spinning, you fall further still
Who were you
Where did you come from
No memory, black, all that's left is void
How can you get out
Who can you turn to
No one is there
You are alone
Completely alone 
Falling deeper into the abyss
Retreating into your fear
You scratch at walls hoping to dig free
You bleed 
you cry 
you scream into silence
Nothing
Solitude, darkness penetrating, consuming
That moment comes
The wicked one is ready to bow
Proud of his victory
Pleased by your inevitable demise
And then, alas
Out of the darkness
Something piercing, blinding
Indiscernible
Hope
A beacon
A voice saying you are not alone
An end to the darkness...
Salvation
Tis the harsh light of day 


Details | Free verse | |

Burning Embers

After being together for a time of great length
I have no idea how I put up with you, or where I get the strength
You make me so furious, just so mad!
Why do I put myself through this, if I just end up being sad?
I get a reminder every morning when I turn to your side of the bed.
The passion our love used to have, a fire burning such a deep red.
Years pass and the fire dies down
I look at you and your once glowing smile, turned into a frown. 
What’s changing I really don’t know
Sometimes wondering if it was all a show…
But in the morning, breath stinky and hair a mess
I look at you and know I’m blessed. 
Because behind those eyes I see a spark
Memories of making out in the park
The only time we’d cry
is when we had to say good-bye. 
I see something that’s keeping us alive
During the screaming shouts there is something in our hearts we are trying to revive
We’re trying to rekindle the burning embers
When all of the sudden, not just our minds, but our hearts remember
We lean in for a passionate kiss
And all of the sudden, remember the feeling of bliss.
And who knew that was the fuel we needed,
A blissful kiss our hearts and lips have so deeply missed
To rekindle our fire
To rekindle our passion
To rekindle our faith and trust we had in each other.


Details | Free verse | |

What words

What words, dear God?
For an idiom 
Or an idea
Of all that this means!

If not then, or when
My soul resounds 
At a silent thought
Lights an eternal flame
Recalled at sacred hearths;

Within quiet chambers
Wounds would heal
Once dealt unwittingly
Now in privacy, thoughts
Wrench relentlessly
At souls adrift
Through time and space;

Words cut at passions denied
Allow this one impression
To swathe us
Dear God, what words?


Details | Free verse | |

Asphyxia

I lay here alone
I close my eyes 
and I listen
there is nothing
not even the sound of my breath
the silence is so impervious and profuse
I am suffocating in your reticence
your muteness is congesting my lungs
my airways are constricting
in a panic my body begins to flail about
clawing and scratching in an attempt for survival
my exertion is desperate and in vain
for there is no bag to escape
nor a rope to loosen
I can not physically save myself
I gasp for a breath
but I fail
inhaling nothing but the emptyness of your quietude
PLEASE SAVE ME...
one word could extricate me
acknowledgement being my lifeline
a single tear trickles down my face
its hopeless
because in order to rescue me
you have to kill yourself


Details | Free verse | |

Behind Closed Doors

Heart of Gold,
calming tides
holding on, hands intertwined.

The ironman
so bold, so brave.
An injured deer
step forth to save.

No echoing groans.
No sorrowing pleas.
Hard to see what lies beneath.

There are storms and guilt, rejection, betrayal
gnawing and snapping at his core.
But doesn't let a single salty drip ever hit the floor.

This is where he hides,
Behind Closed Doors.




Details | Free verse | |

Pawn

And so do I fall, and so do I fail,
Falling so deeply into this destructive void,
Nothing but ash and specs of dust that were once my brittle bones and scarred flesh.

To not know what is ahead,
How maddening! How so distraught have I seemingly become,
Forgotten myself as time has smoothed over me.

Tricky, sly fiend indeed; master and slave a like to us all.

Do I dare move forward into the uncertainty that is humanity and of such society?
So gut wrenching, thoughts filled of bile at what is.

As we all are from and are the same, yet tear limb by limb the essence of ourselves by one another in an endless state of bigotry and violence; so brightly are we bathed in evil.

So easy is it to see.

Miracles; perhaps shall they see fit to carry me away from the void that is, and from such temptation, as to live the rest of days in blissful, stagnant dreams.


Details | Free verse | |

Memories Made

The coldest white had fell
Surrounding all the feet of those behind
The day turned into hours
Just in the mind
Did the gift appear in night?
Or were dreams reality?
Did it come from karma’s hands?
It drifts from sanity

The trek towards that happy place
You’ve been there many times
Something was different now
It held a horrible surprise
The box wasn’t full of life and sound
The ashes of memories made were here
Taking longer to twist the knife
Left remains of a child now in tears

Standing still you couldn’t breath
Excuses flying in your mind
Trying to figure out the scene
Hoping there’s time
You look up to see
Expectant eyes for the last time
You wish you could keep
But it’s the saddest of a smile 


Details | Free verse | |

Where Are You When I Need You

Don’t pretend to understand me
When your frustration and anger, comes first
Don’t pretend to nod and listen
When all you hear, is what you want
You treat me as if I am a brainless idiot!
Blaming me because I don’t agree with you
Because I won’t let you control me
I am a big girl living an independent life
So, don’t pretend to know how I feel
When you only believe the lies you convince yourself, I am

Don’t say you love me, when your ego takes precedence over my feelings
Dreaming of what you want us to be
Dreaming of me, from a far
Leaving me alone, to problem solve, on my own
I do this to show I care
To show you I am responsible
All I want is for us to be on the same page, sharing our love again
Laughing, kissing
I need your love and attentiveness
I need to feel your nurturing warmth
Instead of taking it away from me
Knowing my vulnerabilities
Deliberately hurting me
You told me you were my knight in shining armour
Where are you, when I need you?


Details | Free verse | |

A Grand Carlyle Residue via 1989

Stymied synergistic stoolcumers synchronized
of gifted glib galb garbage run of mouth
nicotine rings of one night 
no promise quickly spilled
ever taxed gestured pocket
pool. tandem coulpling random 
access eye spew askances for a 
tainted night glow. Weak whitewine 
whispers office yupslugs curtaling on a 
Friday nnite feeding rampage
cock'll doodle do ya, hopefully, fixed
******l trans plant stilted blue
libidious carneverous ego ectascies
exaggerate trip the gonad fantasy fantastic
click, click, click, scrape,
click females ina crowd leave ina crowd
***** puffers everywhere cancer
croonies suck lips with sunken jaw 
jumping jill frenzy paste posted tooth
smiles--only gum grin where prohibited
white collar/blue collar share a
once beer of sorts, while linley smoke
figures haunt backwards in a sitdown dismal
denial comedy for the no show waitresses
geese gatheing empty of poignant personality
through bar riers of in-finite age range ripe
rituals for meta phor women to the restroom!
The plot hair thickens. my lungs hurt from watchexisting
Blue suit sancturary slugs offer office onslaughts through
oppulent openings via perservance in a temperate tampon 
express meal head long into a pubic partisian oblivion? 
True bar tintilation touting tempting tidbits of tumultious
temptations tilting time, tantilizing tremors, tracking
tricks of professional preference and sexosocial sinny
secular satisfaction. Gomer Pyle just pissed by. 
Judy, Judy, Judy. Poor Judy.   

occular preferences occlude 


Details | Free verse | |

The Wasteland -part 2-

A long time passes and I am still here Silently insulting, brutally weeping But then I lift my head from the ground To see him standing there Towering over me in all endeavor of quietude Was he there the entire time? I feel his eyes but see only his stare I am dreaming again Has he returned to guide me? To frighten me back into reality? Who are you, entity of fear? I know death draws me near— But why, oh mystery, do you linger here? He never answers me, though still I try Why are you here? Must you hate me too? He pulls me up staring me down His thin, sophisticated form makes me feel hollow Empty features burning my vision As he bends facing me I never want to see your face again See, that’s why I hide. . . Why, I ask, my voice croaking Tell me why. . . He takes my hand as I cringe Walking me to the edge, his head tilted my way I shake like a dried leaf on the brink of autumn A small, pathetic part of me wants to thank him To believe all of this. . .is right How though, can I trust his blank sincerity? I am the only. . .the lonely But there he is beside me His long fingers intermingling in mine The sense of fear and confusion Sticking to me like grime I am the Slender Man—I am—your friend And for once I let him embrace me I cannot bear to flee He tenses and tightens his grip Dreading I may slip away in panic Please stay. . .please stay Soon it will all just go away. . . He is warm against me—alive Breathing slowly, I feel the beating of his heart Bashing my nerves—blurring my mind Tingles shoot down my spine As I stand there, so close to him We watch a sagging sunset As tears flow down my infected eyes I have learned to fly. . .to embrace the lies Squeezing my hand he holds me close As the black sun wearily lifts its head one last time Only to sink from its post I never want to see your face again See, that’s why I lie Slender Man cradles me in his tendrils Surrounding me like I am its sickly nourishment Whispering comforting falsehood I gaze beyond the wasteland Beyond myself. . . But there I find nothing Hand in hand we walk over the edge Heading yonder into the sheer, sweet Nothingness The demons watch us disappear Grinning from ear to ear I cannot see them now. . . But I can smell their fear -January 26, 2013-


Details | Free verse | |

Salt Juice and Steam

There are times when my life has focus, 
when my lover finds the string 
tying me to earth, 
a thread of varying gauge and color, 
stretching to the near horizon. 

Yet I’m empty, heavy, on the edge of tears,
where depth and joy and pain leak away
(hold my breath don’t breathe I’ll lose it 
like the night long ago when I was drunk 
and cried helpless helpless). 

I’ve become gray and bent,
a twisted structure 
retrieved from a pool 
of salt juice and steam,
knowing I can’t have the whirlwind again,
that tasty center,
that unknowing nothing.


Details | Free verse | |

An Idea So Rich

Allowance
That is the true crime to my mind
Allowing entrance of this Idea
An Idea so intoxicating 
It Blinded Me
Clouded Judgement
Drove me through a Fog
That I should've never gone through
The Burning Light
It was the only appeal I could see through the Fog
The only thing that even enticed my interest
Was it Fantasy?
Most likely
Fantasy Enshrouded with Arrogance of my own Design
A Design So Flawed
So Young
It would have been the End of myself
Had I continued after it

Perhaps, allowing the boat to float on
Was the best I did for my well being
Staying Or Even Attempting to go Aboard
Would have proven Fatal
In possibly, the most dangerous of ways..


Details | Free verse | |

Protect Me As I Sleep

Nobody 
Knows my real name
‘Angel’ 
Is what I go by
I am freezing cold
I don’t have money
Just, the clothes on my back
I am a walking wardrobe
I am lonely
I smell like crap
I am starving hungry
I can’t find any shelter
My clothes are drenched
I look like a drowned rat!
Violence
Upon women
Is classed normal
Around here!
I wonder...
If
I will survive
Another day?
Only
To wake up
And
Do this
All over, again!
“Protect me tonight
As,I lay my head to rest”
“I love you, dear God”

“Goodnight”


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Moments

What pleasure of
revenge
Can the blades slide
on the skin
Satisfactions of a
death's embrace
Ecstasy of life long
race
Ending a cosmic joke

What pleasure of the
choice
Chem-trail race in
the vein
Float yourself into
numbness
Worn lines of
struggles
Map across your face

What pleasure of
faith lost
Can you carry on the
day
Broken mirrors line
your halls
Smiling friends are
all but ghosts
No way to move on

What pleasure of the
moment
Feeling the pitch
and tempo
Primitive mechanical
dances
Give a sweet relief
But moments are all
lost

What pleasure of the
death
Feeling the pitch
and tempo
Waiting for the
pulse to give out
To give a sweet
relief
But moments are all
lost


Details | Free verse | |

A world without peace

A world without peace

Fires blare from buildings
as bloody, horrific scream are the oly thing able to escape,
No by-stander tries to give aid
or even a care.
Burning flesh soon takes over the aroma
but the only thing that has changed is a hand that now covers the nose and mouth of every citizen.

Bullets fly through the thin air
and soon reach the delicate skin of innocent people,
The bullets quickly rip though their flesh and penetrate an artery or two,
Their blood leaks onto the pavement
as their last breath is taken,
But everyone glances over their body without a care.

Money is the control of the world
Instead of peace, unity, and love.
Children starve in poor, poverty contries
as selfish, ignorant people live luxery lifes
and spend hundreds of dollars without a single worry,
Living their greedy lifes with everything they could ever want
but never once thought about another soul,
A soul who is in jeperdize of slowly perishing.


Details | Free verse | |

A Prayer of Hope:

Betrayed and deceive thats what my marriage brought me
A man who couldn't see me for who I am
A friend who took me in and wounded me
A fool I was to think he would ever be true too me.

Everything I did was in vain
He caused me so much pain
He left my heart with a great stain
Now all I see is the rain.

I am so tired of playing the love game
Love and marriage were meant to go hand in hand
Instead bitterness, resentment and heart hardness rides the hall way of my soul
Father can you hear me.

I am broken, hurt and angry
He stoled my heart
Shattered my dreams
Brought tears to the eyes of our babies.

Left me for dead
Father can you hear me
My heart is cold
My thoughts are cruel.

Revenge weighs heavy on my mind
Emmanuel hear my cry
Come to my aid
Rescue me from myself.

Elohim my creator
Show compassion on me
Deliver me from my own actions
Teach me how to avoid causing anyone any pain. 

Lead me into the light
That my days upon this earth will be fruitful and bright
Let all that I do from this day forth be for Christ
Show me lord how to go out with a great big bang.



Details | Free verse | |

To whom it may unconcern

How can you tell when you've hit bottom and
 it's time to abandon "ship"-does it stare you in the  
falseface and wipe your browmemory clean cool of
fun classics,  milling around in poor daylight
low of love compromise and mean mode
idiosyncracies obligingfor no one's 
realsake but hanging by a nose thread to a 
course coarse curve enlivened by a renal
renaissance mercury---wide base of support
newcomer setting in for the long haul given
presidence a timely sage too old for this
x@#$%* yet too youngf for climate of clipped
communication neverstrife, appealing to all yes-too
many no, too few---104 degrees FF brain on fire
dryice income shedding short circuited
sillosynapse conglomerates crazy for 
passion + lust intro infusion---two part flesh,
one part soul a pinch of carnal rich renderings.
Simmer ever slowly over a lucid lifetime at
harmony in law degrees--slowly stirring the 
emotes frequently--too many nights of uncelebrated
reruns taunt the VHF cable return whereas I
we my you life by UHF dial dimensions
captured like a worn heel on a new shoe
somewhat skuffed and worn and innappropriate
for a white wedding day.Stand in the back--hope no
anyone looks down at the foot floor and sees
my toe reflection talking--indescent exposure while
teetering on a limbscape construct--folly
like fortunes unabashed qualities go unnoticed
through ingoblame and slug selfes-esteams
balancing on a creepy catwalk of roma and
comatose initiatives that flatline at midnight
in a morbid midnight corridor--venimous intent O2/CO2
fright fraught about what yesterdays will     upbringing fixed.


Details | Free verse | |

The Journey

From time immemorial your story began
A hundred, a thousand, a million years and more
Your story past written a character just one
The tale of you bleeds into all

Each story unique while pieces the same
Today, tomorrow, millennia expended and gone
Your story continues passed first to no last
The tale of you bleeds into all

Through love and hate, laughter and death
Minutes and seconds grew to decades and days
The story being written you wrote each day
The tale of you bleeds into all

Memories endure through dream and remembrance
Yesterday is gone but tomorrow you live on
Your story yet written a character more than one
The tale of you bleeds into all

Your stories the fires shall never consume
A past, a future, a present goes on
The story you wrote lives forever in your love
The tale of you bleeds into all


Details | Free verse | |

TRUE GOD

Will I meet you there 
Oh Jah when my journey
through life ends.
Will my sins be forgiven....
Or Will I beat myself in 
lamentation for all 
the wrongs I've done....

Will my earthly suffering 
suffice....
Has your son for me ever
regretted paying the ultimate 
price.....

I am not worthy of the 
shirt on my back,
the shoes on my feet
the bread on my table 
Nor your daily blessed mercy
Upon me.

How many times I thought
Myself abandoned and prayers 
unheard
Yet it was me who had abandoned 
You and strayed...
yet when reflecting upon my life
And all the mistakes
I've made praising you is the only
Real joy I find 'cause only you Jehovah 
With infinite mercies can continue
To love someone as unworthy as me.


Details | Free verse | |

Beloved Friend I Have Fallen

An angel, cradles me, in her motherly arms
I have fallen, I am venerable 
I told myself, I would not do this, no more
I have failed to keep my promise, to you
I have not stayed true
Tears flowing, as I smile, just, for you!
Remembering the times, when you cupped my face, in your hands
Your blue eyes, gazing into mine
Telling me with sincerity
‘I am the sunshine, that lights up your world, each day that dawns’
My heart aches, it rains with love, having fond memories of us
Wash me clean, being human, is challenging me!
Emotional bondage, creating blocks
I need to move on, you are dead and buried
Your time here, over
My heart struggling, accepting this reality
“Forgive me”
I pray to be free!
“I Love you, my beloved, friend”


Details | Free verse | |

play, pause


i’m splitting at the seams.

torn,

one arm gently pulls, the other yanks-

violently.

never a moment of silent bliss,

i bite my lip until crimson liquid seeps out the corners of my mouth

and drips

staining my peplum top.

distant memories creep into my mind to warn of the shame i’ll find

in this game of hide-and-seek

if i let them see that my smile isn’t real

and my blood prefers to stay in my veins.

So I don’t stop.

I move my lips into position

and wipe the blood from my chin.

And press ‘play’ on the cassette tape that reads:

"of course I’m happy",

because I can’t form those words myself.


Details | Free verse | |

Haunted

I was blinded, I was fooled.
I thought what we had was real...
Your sweet words of kindness swept me off my feet.
Your dark eyes that once gave me comfort, now are forever mocking me.
Your arms that wrapped around me, now wrap around my throat.
Your hands once so fragile, now are demonic as they clasp tighter and tighter.
Our eyes and bodies are locked together,
One gasping for breath...
The other praying for my death...
Darkness oozes from you mouth,
Slicing my skin, as my blood begins to pour.
Is this what you wanted?
For now, I lay unconcious...
And forever, will I haunt you.

Kallie Mason 
2013 


Details | Free verse | |

A Rich Tribute

Mother Teresa been a historical,
and an important,
and a humble figure,
as she had dedicated her life for the poor and the needy indeed, 
the best tribute one can give her is by quoting a single quote of her,
out of the many though, 
the one mentioned below seems to be more precise,
in today’s world,
“Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God-the rest will be given”
Today,
in the rush of acquiring money,
many have forgotten this lovely aspect,
the aspect of love,
which is much greater than money,
and had crossed a number of boundaries,
from times immemorial,
today jealousy, selfishness, greed have taken over love,
wherein money is not that great,
than love itself,
as love is like a ‘Can’,
which can be filled from the top to the bottom,
unlike money,
which needs to be filled from the bottom instead,
love is greater than money indeed,
as we do love our Gods,
our wives,
the children,
whether they be ours,
or of others,
without distinguishing between their caste, creed, colour,
Love is indeed greater,
as we love the newborns born into this world,
our friends ,
wherein love can also help us to defeat our enemies too,
without love,
no one can progress on,
and neither the countries too,
Therefore love is greater than money indeed!!

'Quote and Author':-
“Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God-the rest will be given”- Author: 'Mother Teresa'


Details | Free verse | |

Familiars

Ah, here you have come again,
Again you sit in this chair,
How familiar this room so is,
So solitaire in your life, ha, how fair it is,

How you engulf those emotions in bitter fire,
Drown your frown in a realization of emptiness,
How you realize the loneliness and abandonment of your mind,
Your hope and wish to fill the empty, lonely void,

Perhaps one day it shall all change,
But in the now you suffer,
You wonder your discoveries,
How enlightening were they really?

Hanging your head so low,
As if seeming to pray in the eyes of others,
In amidst reality you hide the corners of your saddened mouth,
Your hands caressing the wounded mask,

To lose yourself in words,
You search for comfort,
A faded hand upon your shoulder,
But your shoulders carry only the burdens of others,

To have your shoulders broken,
No others to offer theirs up,
You watch the river wash you away,
As you drown and ascend to your new home up above.


Details | Free verse | |

A Letter to Midnight

Hello again, midnight.
What a bittersweet reunion; my love for thee overtaken by detest.
How I spurn thee for thy swiftness in overtaking my day.
For rushing past me, as if to remind me that my time is limited,
That I am a mere mortal with dwindling power.
Yes, I detest thee, midnight;
Yet I love you.
You enhance the duality of my human nature by bequeathing me delirium,
By unlocking the primal Hyde from the cellar where he had been kept,
Hidden away and sequestered for the duration of daylight.
Do you also hate me, midnight?
You bring with you unwelcome guests every time you visit my dwelling.
Self-loathing, Anger, Loneliness, Exhaustion, and Hopelessness—
They all make themselves at home in the parlor of my Heart.
Why have you betrayed me, midnight?
I once loved you, for bringing me freedom from the arduous troubles of the day.
For cloaking me in your dark robes so I could sleep more comfortably.
You liberated me from the toilsome thoughts of reality.
You delivered me into a land of dreams.
Why have those dreams since soured? 
No longer are they sweet.
No more do you free me, as you once so lovingly did.
Do you remember those glorious evenings?
You gave me the gift of a jet-black sky, spangled with blazing pinpricks of light.
Orion, Lyra, Ursa Major…smiling and sparkling from their invisible towers.
Fiery streaks of stars racing to earth, unseen owls hooting and cheering as spectators.
Where has all that gone, midnight? 
Why do you no longer lavish your gifts upon me?
How have I wronged you?
Have I disgraced you?
What will it take for me to make you relent,
 To again extend to me your loving embrace?
Or have you come to love my Hyde instead of my Heart?


Details | Free verse | |

I'm Grown

Look at me I'm grow.
I want to be out on my own.
I always did what I was told, but now I'm grown.

No need to worry just stay off my back.
Take a chill pill and relax.
Don't want to hear the facts cause I already know, I'm grown.

No more telling me what I can and what I can't and what I am and who I ain't  
I know who I am make no mistake. 
I was young once but now I'm grown.

Good-bye to all these stupid rules and bed time curfews.
I'm through! 
That stuffs for someone who's three.
But not for me, why? cause I'm grown.

SOME TIME LATER.....

Yes, finally I'm out need I say more?
I almost pushed you down trying to get out the door.
I was free but found out what that word really means.

"Responsibilities"

First come the job then came the bills.
No time to spend with my friends.
No time to stay home and chill.

Didn't like that deal.
Lost my job so I started living off the streets.
Now I'm in a jail cell, tomorrow will be a week.

If only I had listened to you.
Things would not have turned out this way.
Remember when I use to say I'm grown?
I was wrong...


Details | Free verse | |

Three Halves

Dedicated to a dear friend. 
You needed me and I needed you, but we were never ours to lose.

*   *   *   *   *   *

I never felt complete.
I knew something was missing, a part of me.
Now I know it was the other halves of my heart and soul,
My love, my kindred spirit.

I never knew how to feel full.
Was never fully happy – not with missing pieces.
Can anyone have three halves?
I do.  Myself and two others.

First… my lover, my home, my best friend.
Who stood by me through mistakes and poor decisions.
Who has been nothing but loyal and true.
So what am I to do?
Once you build the foundation you can’t move the castle.

Then… my kindred spirit, my freedom, my bliss.
Who within moments defeated my demons and set me free.
Who has taught me trust like no other ever could.
So what am I to do?
We still have that castle on a cloud.

But we don’t live on a cloud.  I feel the earth between my toes.

One other half of my soul lives in a body who is, never was, and never will be mine.
That’s right, I said ‘never’.
‘Never say never’.  Why hold on to this hope?  
We are such fools.  Always have been.  
Fools for our other halves.

One ‘other half’ will forever be chained to anybody but me. 
The other ‘other half’ is, was and always will be mine.
My heart is for both, in different ways.
Now I am as full as I can be. I have found my halves.

Being happy is not having what you want, 
But having what you need, 
And wanting what you have.
I am happy...

We asked: ‘how can one live in black and white after seeing in colour?’
I have an answer: ‘because we know what colour looks like...’
We know what to look for, how it feels,
How to see it through the black and white – even turn it into colour.

Remember? How to see.
For some, their other halves are in one body –
Filling both the heart and the soul,
But not for me. I have three halves.

I never knew where my pieces were.
Then I found one. Then the other found me.
Only one can fit my puzzle – yes, halves can only be two.
But why be sad about bliss? 

I am happy…
Because I no longer wonder about my pieces.  
May not be mine, but they are both safe. 
I am happy…


Details | Free verse | |

The Most Fascinating Person I Ever Knew

You were the most fascinating person I ever knew,
every part of you, every fiber;
I loved the shine of your lucent eyes,
the saccharine taste of your lips;
you fought for my sanity
whilst losing your own, and
I cannot explain how much I thank you
for that.
You were the most fascinating person I ever knew,
but now you have disappeared;
I cannot see the emotion in your once-lucent eyes,
I cannot even dream of tasting your lips again,
and now I am fighting for your sanity
as you once did for me, but
you do not notice why I
do it.
You were the most fascinating person I ever knew,
and now,
you are the
emptiest.


Details | Free verse | |

Unknown

Am I a dove, a snake or a bear?
Like a bandage my words mend and heal
but my bitter tongue bites back
a venomous rage of uncertainty and deceit
and I feel as if I am fighting foe after foe
my thick pelt puncturing blow after blow
yet no enemies there are, within comprehension
or is thick fur masking my vision?
Be I a lion or a fox? Confronting fears headstrong or running and fleeing on.
Could I be the monster from whom must I hide?
My cogent thoughts a weapon concealed in my shadowy mind?
I fear I am becoming lost in the great unholy scheme,
a fool searching for the unsearchable with no success but failure
Unclarity is the only clarity in which I have come to know, or do I know nothing?
Perhaps I am a bat, 
built on thin wings with blind purposeless eyes
my own mind the cavern which enervates my very soul 
into this decrepit state.
However I am no more lost than all the others, yet still I drown
and gulp for air unfound,
the only strength within reach mine own. 
Or does it originate somewhere else? 
Perhaps those whom I hate I love
and simply poison their image within my understanding.
Perceiving the world through my eyes, all is gray,
like a wolf I hunt, my prey is meaning. 
But the harder I dig into these questions
the more deeply I fall, lost in deceptions.
Now I see something new and explained
I find myself through this mystery and vanity
I am oblivion.


Details | Free verse | |

Simple Sam

I'm simply Sam, the simple stalker
Popping sweet tarts like a drug addict pops their pills
I worry too much and often think too into things
I know what's right for you, but have no idea what's good for me
I swallow my words to keep me sane
Chaning myself down to keep me tame
I think outside the box while looking in
Always searching but never finding that someone just for me
Standing outside your class room door
Waiting for you to look up and see
I'm simply Sam, the shy stalker
Following you down a hallway begging you silently to turn around
To look at me, not through me
Begging you to notice me
Hoping you will be the one who falls for me
I'm simply Sam, the silent stalker
I watch you pass by in crowds
Waiting for scenes like on a silver screen
Of fateful occurences- meeting my soulmate
Thinking every person I fall for just may be that someone just for me
I'm simply Sam, the obsessive stalker
Writing poetry in vain
All about you and how I wish it could be
Writing poetry of premeditated heartbreak
A poetic preminition of how it all ends
I'm simply Sam, the poetic stalker
Going out of my way to give you what you want
Spending dollar after dollar just to see you smile
Devoting time, effort, and gut all to see the tiniest upturn of the corner of your mouth
Changing myself to better suit your needs
I'm simply Sam, the romantic stalker
I'll buy you flowers & candy
I'll wrote you multiple page poems
I'll serenade you in deaf tones to the best of my ability
I'm simply Sam, and I'm not a stalker
I'm simply Sam, just misunderstood
I'm simply Sam, who simply needs to be loved
I'm simply Sam, and I'm far from simple. 
 


Details | Free verse | |

LOVING SILENTLY

Many girls shout out their love for you
You are the lad of their dreams who hasn't come true
I may be one of those crazy girls for you,
But I'm finding a hard time on showing my love for you
I tried to be outspoken as they are,
But I can't find the words to say so far
I don't have the courage yet to tell you about my feelings,
Because sometimes I question my own existence
So I think I better love you silently,
And wait til the day that you'll notice me. 


Details | Free verse | |

Christmas at Christchurch

        I feel translucent 
	a man of marble skin 
	as if dreaming my motions 
	every step a tread in water
	each reach of my hand 
	a ghost grip touches 
	but nothing holds and yet 
	I clutch these stones and 
	iron spear barricades 
	as a sea-snail would the bedrock 
	for this is my folly 
	to hug close the masonry of charity 

	I feel nothing 
	no remorse runs down my arms 
	to my useless wrists 
	no rage 
	twists my mouth into rabid snarl 
	no pleasure lifts my face 
	from the footfalls 
	of those celestial beings 
	bustling above

	not even a soaked black wall 
	on which I am a shadow 
	penetrates my deadened hide 

	I feel grotesque 
	I am a gargoyle of flesh and bone 
	sown into the fabric of these 
	towers with closed doorways 
	that form broken arch homes 
	for broken things 
	but 

	no longer am I broken 
	I have embraced 
	the cold and hunger 
	of my mouth and my soul 
	I am free of this place 

	Yet 

	here I am still 
	here for you to see 
	if you can stomach 
	to see me 


Details | Free verse | |

I Have Been Her Kind

"haunting the black air, braver at night.......
...lonely thing, twelve fingered, out of mind......
.....I have been her kind."
Anne Sexton


I Have Been Her Kind

I float above....
a cloud, unto myself
my heart a stone experiment
A woman slightly bent

My shapely legs
beneath a dowdy skirt
My sensual lips
turned down with hurt
Leaf brown to love
A woman not defined

An all renouncing mind
Where trust has flown
on dark befuddled wings
A woman, prey to death

 I have been her kind

 Suzanne Delaney


Details | Free verse | |

A myth for love

The once virgin
weeps to the past;
wrapping her legs... 
               in and 
out of a white island


Solitude will never be vouched for
Her lips have lost
brass

Her praise was not followed
                Her eyes could not
bring him to stay

There he left;
desserting just a body,
               leaving an animal to fend


Details | Free verse | |

When Doing Wrong Feels so Right

Each town has it’s own Heart Beat: Thump, Thump- Thump, Thump.
And All can go astray when doing wrong feels so right.

A young man came in contact with the police… and has died.
So the town decided to protest, drawing others from the outside.
Everything got out of hand, and escalated, throughout the night.
Businesses destroyed, homes robbed, fires, it wasn’t a pretty sight.
The innocent bystanders have decided to move away, in droves.
The businesses are losing customers, as to safety so many go.
Eventually, businesses will also leave, for customers they must have.
The area will become blighted, where a good home once could be had.

Each town has it’s own Heart Beat: Thump, Thump- Thump, Thump.
And All can go astray when doing wrong feels so right.

Police and their families are being threatened, as they try to understand.
But they see that they must guard at night, all which continues to stand.
The Newsmen are stirring things up, as to the National News they go.
Of course we need to know the plight of all, as they stir up more woes.
Protesting the freedom, to protest at night, hasn’t helped stop the fights.
More will be leaving the area, cause they don’t want to live too close.
It’s the innocents who continue to suffer, if the town becomes a ghost.
It could end in a moment, or be like the fighting, in the Middle East.

Each town has it’s own Heart Beat: Thump, Thump- Thump, Thump.
And All can go astray when doing wrong feels so right.

It all depends on everyone’s understanding of when it’s time to stop.
It depends on the understanding: of when something wrong feels right.
Rioting, Looting, and Protesting can’t add anything good to the mix.
But adding outsiders and hatred to it, can totally destroy all, in the end.
There are brave hearts, wanting to stop what’s going on, to get along
The outsiders control the scene, as with sadness, the good back down.
It seems to have a life of it’s own, pushed from outsiders out to win.
But the only thing they’ll win, is a ghost town, for those left within.

Each town has it’s own Heart Beat: Thump, Thump- Thump, Thump.
And All can go astray when doing wrong feels so right.
Remember: Be careful what you do, when feelings seem so right.

 CSEastman Written 8-15-2014… ‘A bystander, very close by’


Details | Free verse | |

No one Sees the Truth

Oh see those blind fools walk side by side
Saying bye-bye to their purity and virginity;
They held on as long as possible,
But they couldn't hold on long enough,
They smile and say "I love him,"
But ask what she 'loves' about him;
She is speechless and quiet.

See the foolish girls,
And the boys who act foolish
They don't see the Truth,
No one ever seen the truth,
Because they don't want to hear the truth,
Or talk of the truth
Or face the truth, because they don't know the truth.

Fools,
Tired and sleepy
They all are smiling
And they don't care where they go;
And they don't care what they do.
They don't care whose hearts they break,
Whose feelings they hurt,
Whose eyes they make tear
And guts they make ache,
Fools, so tired because they don't know the truth,
No one ever seen the truth,
No one sees the truth,
For they fear the truth
And cannot bear the truth.
Love is the truth,
They block the truth
And they shed their tears
Soak through their pillow cases;
And their hearts break,
And they can't take it anymore,
They take to the bottle,
And too the gun and they smile.

The sun rises the next day
And we are one less fool
Who never has seen the truth.
Sad but true...

12/12/13


Details | Free verse | |

It's Not Your Fault

The thing about life
is that
it can end in an instant

When the rope of the
harsh words
wraps tightly around your 

Neck squeezing tighter
and tighter
you just want to jump

To end it all to end all
the pain
and the hatred and words

It is not only the words
that push
you over the edge

It is too the fists and
the feet 
that slam into you

Over and over
without
a break with out letting up 

Making you break down and slide down
the wall
and cry and cry and cry

One phone call can 
save a
live, stopping that jump

Stopping the self hate
and
spreading the love

The love i have for 
you will 
never fade or die and i hope

will make you better
to sleep
and to be able to be 

Happy again to 
be happy
forever and always with me

just remember and know
that it's
NOT YOUR FAULT


Details | Free verse | |

Most Days

Most days 
By
Ingrid Showalter Swift

Most days
I am really truly

But then………………………
flowing in like an iceberg that was off at sea 
now come to shore once more 
with the stinging knives…long tentacle fingers of searing ….  
Cold
it smashes the shore
ripping my pretty shells off the reef 
and stopping 
to silvered sudden silence............. the lovely waves of joy

or too...it is 
as if  I am a tapestry
the top layer has many brilliantly died threads 
some even glisten as Gold and Silver and pulse intertwiningly with rich jewel tones and ambers
and soft areas of downy whites 
and creams ....that throw light up onto the ceiling and walls like a crystal spinning 

But beneath there is an undulating world of dark blue rivers baring your name
they swirl in eddies within me and sometimes 
they rise
 …and rise and rise and rise
till
they…flood the surface 

blurring
then block..it all out

and all I can feel or see is the loss of you
your very ……………….goneness

and your own loneliness…your solitude 

in the sounds of your shop
metal is moving
nothing soft and blond 
or me anywhere to be seen 
except on that one lone shelf where my very tattered pages move gently every time you pass by
moving like seaweed dancing in the swirls of the sea
or leaves in the trees caught in your spirit's breeze


Details | Free verse | |

The Sculptor

I feel Him chip away at my flesh.
The vibrations shake to my bones.
Pieces that were once part of me now fall helplessly to the floor.

Every scrape of the chisel,
Every pound of the hammer,
Every piece that is broken from me stings with immense pain.

Why doesn't He stop?
Why is The Sculptor so cruel?
Doesn't He realize that each swing He takes is a nightmare to me?

I would be better off as stone that was never touched,
I would be more content without the suffering that comes apon me,
But I wouldn't be a work of art.

Each chip of the chisel is intended to remove a piece that shouldn't be there.
Each pound of the hammer is meant to force the hideous fragments far from me.
Each move The Sculptor makes, takes me closer to His plan for me.

I must trust, knowing that He never takes off too much.
I must be ready, knowing that He never leaves His work incomplete.
I must be thankful, knowing that I am being made beautiful in His eyes.

The acute pain is only a short part of His plan.
The lasting anguish fades in its own time.
Though heart, and soul, and body all grieve, the permanent state will be that of finished work.

I may not know the reason for each strike,
I may not know the fault with each sundered chunk,
And I may never know.

I know the sting of the chisel now,
I know The Sculptor has a plan,
My part is to trust that He will not work forever ... but that He will be done.


Details | Free verse | |

Fate

Winter never surrenders,
It ploughs through the soul
And freezes the people.
For all time its fierce fangs
Inject bitter venom 
Into its victims.
Some fall prey of a sudden
Trapped beneath the surface 
Of the ice. Others fall asleep,
Unable to fight any longer.
Still some brave the bite 
For the sake of others
In order to help them
Safely return to spring.
Spring endures, 
But winter conquers, 
Such is life they say, 
Though they wish
It differently.


Details | Free verse | |

Sunset over the landfill

Turbulant radient red sky with sheet swirl mashed potato
cloud mush peered lazily through a curious brown
haze of dirty armpit fizz, enlisted somewhere
bewteen a prebeginning solar start dot deposit burst peak
and a futuristic nuclear waste singulsr hand mitten
all in lieu of a sadeyed slowburn glowing tuxedo-still
and looking on with rolled up flannel sleeve gross
passivity. I slurped around the grand gravel
entrance up and down brown round and rocky
pinging and jumping. Wide spaces
grappling with the refuse laden humo motif of
endeless manwomanchildpet pickings. I round the teetering
trough trench like curves unwitnessed to the sight beholding
ever present but none as gigted. Poor mouth
super excrement excuses like duct tape type at the end
of its reality roll---never enough for the final fix.
I watched as multitruck things silently
dispatchingly dispersed and unloaded their 
grusome garbage waves on good mother earth.
Battles can leave muscles working as man and time spitspent
slowcuspocus appendages working at top mph
pushing shoving shoveling piling before the light
pace calls it another disgusting dillday.
without the slighest the remorse--my stomach began 
to wrenchabit and my eyewells passed be free
me. The gulls some truck lenght away were
spuriously sifting smilingly through the
human wreckings in a last light meal
remedial refrain--as intense as
the dumpers became the dumpees. I angered as
the populace as myself delivered my putrid parlay
and proceded to the mass exit as if it were
OK. The quality of messy mercy stops at the buck. I need not squander the dull likings of my kind
of indifferenleunce on the hapless mis constraints of
a well informed psuedo citizenery. I hope the land rebels
someday and eats us all by the very
seeds we so sow. Garbage is as garbage does
but it's the tidy attitude of human complacency that
wipes my ass so clean---look to the trash cans for---hope. 


Details | Free verse | |

Mamas Boy Oh Boy

Why Are You So Hurt
Can I explain today is a difference day,
But the same old excused.
“Why Are You So Hurt”,
Rudy to in conscience to ,
Just pick up my food I have hard day well.
“Why Are You So Hurt”,
To day you was suppose to pay the bills,
But instead you state in bed in till twelve.
“Why Are You So Hurt”,
It’s our anniversary you forgot to make reservation,
And you don’t even open the door or bring flowers any more.
“Why Are You So Hurt”,
When we first meet it was hard to see through the blur lines,
Or was everything you told me from the start all lies.
“Why Are You So Hurt”,
Mom Why Are So Hurt Cause I Can See IT In Your Eyes,
I Guess I Am The Man Of The House At Such A Young Age,
“Why Are You So Hurt”,
I wonder who can related, young brother young brother no
Matter your race, age ,origin, or creed I consider you my young brother
I’m not a man lacking wood but would like here my story.
Mama’s Boy, Oh Boy!!!


Details | Free verse | |

Sometimes I Wish I Didn't Exist

Sometimes I wish, I didn't exist
I have so much inside of me building up 
I feel like I want to explode
like a volcano my blood runs down
abruptly it makes everything vanish and corrode
No remains of the broken pieces that was once Me
Do not mourn, for It is not worth the trouble
I have caused enough damage myself
Do not show remorse on my soul
For it has long before died within
I gave up
Not only on myself but on you..
You want the truth?
It is of my veins
Some green, some blue
Represents the green grass on the other side, that didnt break through
or the Blue sky filled with hope, that I looked up to..
Or was it you.. The center of my Heartbeat
and like the blood that runs through I let you go...

Freedom is Free, and its My price to list
just to live, Sometimes...
I wish.. I didnt exist.


Details | Free verse | |

Deceased

Middle of the night
All that is heard
Is yelling & screaming
A voice says,
"...No!...
...Why?!...
...Stop!...
...Don't do that!..."
Then nothing
Walk into the room
Nothing to see
Pitch black
One click of the light switch
All is revealed
Empty liquor bottles
Broken glass
Pills
Knife on the floor
Blood splattered all over the walls
With writing on it that reads,
"See what you made me do?"
Look on the floor
A dead body holding a gun
Look on the ceiling
A dead body hanging
What a nightmare
But a wish come true
Both parents
Dead


Details | Free verse | |

A flame once burned

All I had to do was love her with all my heart and it would be OK.
I clung to her to save her life, as she wriggled.
Love, a propped up cardboard cutout,
Trust, her whipping boy
Hope, a bloodied and bruised up mess, with its eyes swollen shut. 
A flame once burned, my ray of hope; and she placed it beneath her spoon.


Details | Free verse | |

Memory

Some days, she sat gazing out the window,
Stone-still, statue-like.
She didn’t answer when we called.

Some days, she lay frail on her bed
And tears pooled onto her pillow.
She was oblivious to the outside world.

Some days, she leaned on icy walls,
A bitter, lost, half-smile on her lips.
She would stand unmoving for hours.

One day, she grew old and weak,
Propped up with lots of pillow on the bright white bed.
She looked sunken and fragile and very, very little.

Where have you been?” we asked her.
She turned to us her unseeing, hollow eyes and uttered the only words 
we had heard her say.

‘Lost,” the broken lips whispered,
‘Lost in the maze of memory.’


Details | Free verse | |

Tears of Sadness

Liquid begins to fill my eyes
As the tears drip down slowly
Like a water dew drips from a fossit
Drip....drip...drip...drip..

Flowing down my face
Like a mighty waterfall
Raging down toward the abyss
Of Sorrow's lake that surrounds me

Sitting on a little island
As the dark water that were once tears
Keeps me from the far off shore
Making me a prisoner here.

Happiness fleeting
Woes settling
Sadness dwelling
Hope shrinking

Why must the fates be cruel
To serve me awful gruel
From the cauldron of dread
Than a bowl of bliss?

Why must I be alone
With only my tears
That formed a lake
As my only company?

Looking at my reflection
To see a sadden soul
That sits in wallow
Like a caged swallow.

Is there no hope
For a soul such as I?
To escape such sadness
Find the light across
This dreadful darkness?


Details | Free verse | |

Grey Day

Low clouds drift across the sky
a thick blanket of sleep.
Their dreariness drains life
from this once perfect day.

The sky drowned in grey,
the sunlight fades.
The flowers lose their color,
and the robin forgets to sing.

Not even rain will fall
nor will wind blow through leaves.
Nothing draws a breath
on this cold lonely day.


Details | Free verse | |

AGONY OF A WEARY HEART

A broken body
A shattered heart
A lonely soul 
A dashed hope
is how his heart found mine
Found to mould what is left of it
More than a mate he is
Care and concern he brought along
with enduring love to flavour them
A perfect body
A warm blood
A big heart
and a youthful look
all sealed in one body
With promise of more
A heart broken by love
It’s said can only be healed by love
But this duo,
A broken body and shattered heart
this cannot heal.
and what can heal it
I know not
A crushed hope it can fix not
This love is not mine
she sings at dawn and dusk 
Oh, how I have waited so long for you
Now that I can have it not
Now that I can keep it not
It comes a calling
on a heart oozing blood
on a body
not fit for a savage.
Love for a spurting heart
Passion for a damaged body
Oh fate!
Oh love!
How cruel art thou.


Details | Free verse | |

Run

I disgust myself with my idiocy… 
I want to break the mirror at the mere sight of me…
I deserve nothing or no one…
Not worth a bullet in a loaded gun…
I am furious at myself for what I’ve become…
I deserve the pain; don’t need to be numb…
Yes, I’m self-loathing, but you would hate me too,
If you knew me even remotely like I do…
There is no redemption for what I’ve done…
It’s hard to hide from yourself when there’s nowhere to run…


Details | Free verse | |

Faith Healer

The odor is intolerable
Like a foul beast clinging to the end 
I can barely subdue its subterfuge 
But here I am, 
I’m standing here of sound and mind
Waiting for the time that answers my own questions

Can it race with the fires of Orc?
Doubtful, but it can jog steadily can’t it?
The weather is awful, filled with sounds
Penetrating a document not written
It pains me to fight through the night
Not because it’s dark, but because I am just a shadow.

Lester drives but
Motional lasts forever
Still driving
Still crying
And slowly dying as time waves on
Like oceans that can’t be seen.

Nobody cares and everyone listens
Ironic, like a bible that holds lies and deception
Can its will be pierced?
Can freedom stay free?
Is it worth it to stay hooked when everyone around
Seeks liberty?


Details | Free verse | |

Nothing is Forever

I love this woman     Only her face do I see     When we make love     It`s the way it should be     You were 18     I was 22     One night in my arms     Next day said I do     You said forever     I said the same     Believed our love would burn     Like the eternal flame     Bought a big house     For you and I     In loving arms     Till the day we die     You say you love me     You say you care     Impossible to believe     A woman with more than one affair Never love a woman     With 2 faces     She breaks your heart in all the wrong places


Details | Free verse | |

beyond the shroud

fortified memories concealed by stone
hidden away from prying eyes
treading lightly on cold numbing floors
tactile sense my only friend
here beyond the shroud

stumbling and crawling all the way
old wounds never healing
unmistakable sound of faint breathing
like ancient whispers echoing on
here beyond the shroud

darkness blanketing moistened skin
breathing humid air is like drowning
eyes burning from stinging sweat
mixing with tears from hopelessness
here beyond the shroud

lost forever is this cherished treasure
having forgotten its entombed location
lack of sustenance leaves my body quivering
fearful of dying all alone
here beyond the shroud

fearful of dying
all alone
here
beyond the shroud

-----
Having recently found aforementioned cherished treasure,
I think I'm going to be OK now.  Thanks M!
-----


Details | Free verse | |

A Beautiful Downfall

                                   Silver snowflakes in the sky
                           Sparkle with grace as they pass me by,

                                        Bound by gravity they’re forced to lie 
                                        Never having the ability to resist and fly,

                       Drifting from heaven in such sorrowful grace
                       Fated to land, to fall on its face,
   
                                           When its slow fall stops and its place is held
                                           It will soon break and surely meld,

                     Losing its independence and uniqueness 
                     When it lands on earth it becomes something less,

                                   Most are destined to end in a blaze
                                   Some broken apart by a gentle graze,

                      After this subtle fall of a fragile snowflake
                      All it can have is what it can take
                                   
                                           Always wanting for more
                                           Always wanting for something…
                                 
                                  It never arrives at that shore
                                      It always has nothing…


Details | Free verse | |

The Grief of Stayed Continuance

I’ve seen them: humungous stumps of once gigantic trees
 that made a forest sacred-
knowing it was men that lopped off such magnificence

Stealers of beauty and promise:
these amputations leave their scars
 on  the convolutions of mankind’s
collective brain

Where, if I could 
I would venture back in dreams to stay the axe
Let nature take her time  with this living, biggest, hugest.
Into forever let these branches spread their prettiness
Let generations stand in awe at their continuance.
Suzanne Delaney


Details | Free verse | |

Monsters

The monsters came back, 
They taunted her every night,
Telling her absurd things.
They made her think.
They whispered in her ear 
Trying to lead her to do 
something
She had tried so hard to 
overcome.
This was a constant battle 
Between her and the wicked.
And yet again,
She was left with nothing
In a dark room
Because the monsters won.


Details | Free verse | |

Disconnection

I'm…
so tired of my heart 
breaking

I'm …
so tired of my hands 
shaking

I'm so tired of my mind
racing

I'm through pacifying 
my disconnection

Do I only love you for who you used to be?
When you said you'd wait for all eternity?
Did you drink away every memory of me?
How am I not everything you’ll ever need?!

I've had to sit down and write this 
to tell you the words i can't speak
When I'm around you now i feel weak
I'm drowning in my disconnection

Where did he go??
You are not the soul I used to know
Where did your memories go?!

Why has the meaning disappeared…
So suddenly
Now I realize I should too

You act like you remember nothing 
I can tell that’s what I mean to you
After all I’ve done for you
All I want is to be emotionless too

In the end I guess it’s what I love the most about you…..
Your disconnection.

[©2012 SLS, this soon to be a new song for It Is Rife With Ambiguity]
www.sorrylittlesharky.com


Details | Free verse | |

MY SECRET

Yesterday I could have
said "I love you" but 
for fear of rejection I 
kept silent.

Yesterday when I had 
the chance I should have
held you in my arms 
but I didn't I listened instead 
with unquiet thoughts because
I didn't want to lose you...

I kept my everything well 
hidden and now that your 
gone; I wonder if had I held 
you close had I embraced 
you when I had the chance 
would you have ever reciprocated
this love that I still have for you.

I never told you now how I felt,
now lamenting cause my truth 
will have to die with me.


Details | Free verse | |

Where's The Love

We were taught to shine bright,
But where's the light when we condemn?
Where's the light when we judge?
Where's the light when we don't love?


Details | Free verse | |

On my father's life

Woke up and read 
“On My Father’s Life”
by Raymond Carver.
Thought about Kentucky
and Dad with his shirt off,
sweating in a chilly morning
of March, digging
for a fence post.
The poor bastard,
to share a name
and lose a photograph.

It's seems like I've
lost something too.
My father isn’t dead 
to space, but it’s been years.
And to share a name,
after all this time.
It's all he has share.


Details | Free verse | |

Choking Heart

The lion paws around
his cage of a life.

The old kingdom has ruined;
being stolen of a king
	He and his rock 
lay in the sun

across from a highway.

They tell him it's a new frontier.
A frontier with no plains 
no rush, no pride.

Spectators shuffle in,
to catch his roar.

He and his rock
lay motionless 

as the ticket buyers complain.


Details | Free verse | |

In my rear view

Driving by and in the dim lights you 
can see someone sitting in the rain 
under an over hang of a house with a 
distraught look upon their face. 
Lifting their head up only to glance at 
the passing by cars and you can 
almost see the disappointment in 
their eyes as they realize you are not 
the person approaching the street, 
just driving by, not to stop, that they 
wished you were.


Details | Free verse | |

I Control my Life, not You

"I Control my Life, not You"

You haunt my nightmares
You never leave my mind
I see you everywhere
You left me in a constant state of fear.

You opened a healing wound
You stole something I cannot get back
I feel damaged and detatched
You do no apologize or care.

You are able to live your life
You go on as if nothing happened
I do not have that luxery 
You will never comprehend what you’ve done.

You make me so angry
You make me so sad
I hate myself because of you
You probably find satisfaction in that.

You may think you have power because I fear you
You may feel you have won
I am here to tell you that this is not true
You will never control me no matter what you do.






Details | Free verse | |

PAIN vs LOVE

HE TOOK HER BY THE HAIRS
MOPPED THE KITCHEN FLOOR WITH HER
ALL TO DROWN A PAIN TOO DEEP FROM WITHIN
SCARRED AND MARRED BY THE PATRIACHAL SYSTEM
TOO PROUD TO CRY FROM THE PAIN CAUSED 
BY THE MAN SHE LOVED THE MOST

SHE STOOD BY HIM IN THE STREET 
SHRUNK INTO A CORNER IN THE CLOSET
NEVER SQUEELED, LIKE A SHEEP TO THE SLAUGHTERS
WALKING HEAD HIGH IN THE CLOUDS
HIDING THE TEARS THAT DROWN HER SMILE

DEEP IN HER BREWS THIS RAGE
AS SHE LOOKS AT HIM SLEEP LIKE A BABE
THINKING OF JUST HOW EASY IT WOULD BE
WORDS DROWN THOSE THOUGHTS THOUGH

WAS SHE THE ONE TO "BRING IT?”
WOULD SHE SUMMON DEATH TO SEPARATE THEM
HOW WOULD SHE BE ABLE TO FACE THE SOCIETY?
SHE HAS BEEN SMILING ALL THIS WHILE IANYWAY


Details | Free verse | |

Not Today

Not Today

Life was good till the third baby then one day the hamper was Overflowing and she just stared at it and cried.  Six needy hands Pawing at her non-stop and it just kept coming and she couldn’t Stop crying.  So she saw a shrink who gave her a pill.  “Baby Blues” He says but that pill gave her nightmares like none she’d ever seen.

Her children died and crumbled through her arms as she Desperately tried to reassemble them because they weren’t really Dead because of that pill.  So now it’s Bi-Polar disorder.  News Happens but she doesn’t get it because now she’s on a concoction Of meds that make her mind as thick as the Häagen-Dazs that she Pounds down when no one is looking.  

She’s prays to God that she’ll die today.  What if she cut out her Stupid friggin’ defective brain?  She wonders if she can penetrate Her own skull with that kitchen knife.  What a bloody mess; and Who would discover her dead body?  The guys at the morgue Would make jokes about the whack-job stiff they have in the Drawer.  The body bag would be cold and damp.  Not today.

She finally cut herself.  Not deep enough at first.  Then deeper with Each cut until she got thrilled and scared, and achieved enough Pain to kill the rage.  Her husband helped dress the wounds with Tears in his eyes.  He is a good man; kept it quiet.  Hold it together, She thinks, or you’ll be in a strait jacket, alone, and with no one to scratch your nose.


Details | Free verse | |

I can't give u sunshine

I can't give you sunshine
when outside there's such a rain
I can't make a rainbow
when I feel so strong a pain

for one damn time
you give me the sunshine
which light can ease my fears
paint my smile rainbow
then drain the rain and wipe my tears


Details | Free verse | |

Two Fronts

Two torn halves a battling,

Cannon shots be heard,

For war rages on forward,

Day and night, no respite to be found,

Hands betraying, a gun no longer safe in hand,

Fear that claws at the weary soldier,

Before he takes a life,

He prays with tears and begs for love,

The shot he does fire,

So it is the last,

For the war has now ceased,

No side a winner,

Silence be heard,

For no other ever witnessed this war.


Details | Free verse | |

What once was

Inside, so warm and loved cherished from day one joy filled the heart and spilled over a cup overflowed Every moment was happiness all new experiences all new delights even new pains every bit was a level of adoration But everything could go wrong and that it did once where there was love and excitement was now pain and fear crimson was the color and loss was it's game There was no stopping it and no sign of warning it came rapidly quick as a thought and more terrifying than a monster with eyes glowing red skin of darkness razors for teeth smiling at it's prey Tears fall with them making a river of suffering so close to death but not dying a tiny soul was taken away from inside to never exist again Now this vessel is barren as a tundra with no warmth no rejoice only agony and longing Memories never to be made emotions never to be felt only the bitter taste of what once was my little angel


Details | Free verse | |

I Can't

I Can’t

Together forever
One night the wrong word was said
You left our house
You left our bed
You left my heart broken and dying
Never to come back
Still I see you in my life
The waitress at the diner
The barmaid at the saloon
And every girl walking down the street
They all have your face
The same glint I remember in your eyes
The same perfume you wore to bed
I cannot see the real world
Only the one where you were with me
No matter what I do
How much my mind tries to wander
Even the songs on the old country channel
They remind me of my time with you
I can’t get you out of my head


Details | Free verse | |

Love Restores Peace

At 8:30 AM,
"Get up, LAURA! Charlie! Wake up...Robert...Wake up."
No reply...no reply...just ignore my wake up calls...yell at me all you want
You make me cry...cry...just shatter me like glass...you place me in the trash, but I still feel this discontent
Deep inside of me...
There's a sea of remorse swirling around me...
At 12:15 AM,
"Hey Laura!"
No reply...no reply...
"What are you doing?"
I just want to cry...a river...why?
She still ignores me...now I'm feeling the anxiety...
She still jokes around with me, but I feel so angry...and so empty...
She's texting her friends again...I must talk to her sometime
She still doesn't answer my calls...she doesn't care to wipe off my grime
Sponging inside of me...
I guess I'm left with my chores for today
My heart is swelling up in dismay...and my sky turns to gray
And I pray...for relief and I just want to say...
I love my sisters and brothers, but they truly don't care for me...or at least that's what I think till this very day
This lonesome feeling sufficates me...
Go ahead and ignore me, sister
You just added another blister
In my mouth, my hopelessness avalanches all over the ground
You make me frustrated...and now my head spins round and round
And I feel bound...
By stress and torment! 
Go ahead and neglect my voice
My heart is seeping out misery...pumping with fret...
while you text your friends and rejoice
In my head, my painstaking regrets torture me profoundly
You don't care to listen - live your life without me
My soul is left in the cold...
Oh! Go ahead! Let me mold...mold...
I worry about you, sister...
But you left me to dry like glue...you made me suffer
don't beg to differ...
Go ahead! Blow fire in my direction...
I warn you...you don't want to see an eruption
I don't want to be ensnared by my corruption... 
Please God...pick me off from the ground...
and show me some direction
Or I'll be broken down like the titanic...
And You don't wanna see me panic...
Panic...
At 1:00 AM,
I decide to pray to God for protection...
I pray...I pray...
I wait for His reply..........................
He helped me fight 
my depression wars
He unchained me from the cage...
and taught me how to fly
He cherished me...
He understood me 
and He still does till this day...
He healed my sores...
And He doesn't ignore my calls! 
He makes me feel content 
even in the midst of hardships - 
I pray...I wait...I cry...
For His comfort daily...
to nourish me 
when I feel ignored
Or when I'm stabbed in loathe...
I pray that Your peace be restored
In our family once more.
I wait
For peace
To fix the broken glass...to fix the emotions breaking us all
I pray
For the chaos to cease
To make the whole world rejoice...to encourage us to stand tall
Will love make us whole again?


Details | Free verse | |

LIFE AT TIMES


Life at times just doesn’t seem fair,

When a loved one embraced just hours ago, suddenly is no longer there.

If only we could make life at times in retrospect, just stand still,

Then captured moments of joy, wouldn’t need decades for a broken heart to heal.

Life at times marches only to the beat of its self-proclaimed drum.

Life at times leaves us bewildered and dismayed at the sudden loss of a special someone.

Life at times creates an emptiness in our heart and soul, making it sometimes difficult to start anew.

The dark cloud of pain and sorrow will no doubt hover, until life at times naturally lets the radiance 
of sunlight through.

With sincere sympathy, I am truly sorry for your loss and at times the piercing loneliness that may 
engulf you.

We are thankful that life at this time lets us celebrate your loved one with you.  It’s the least we can do.

Al Johnson 






Details | Free verse | |

Terminus of Tears

The fifth bell hasn't rang since I can't remember when. 

The sorrowful life 
is endless.
It goes and it goes and it goes. 
Like oceans of sweat pouring from spheres of golden blue. 

Behind those I hide. 
They forgot me as easily as building a statue around a black bell. 

The fifth bell hasn't rang since I can't remember when. 

They forgot me as easily as pulling a veil over eyes. 
It's not even opaque. 
I bet I forget just as easily. 
I bet I can. 

As simply as the tide turns and turns and fades into vanishing dribbles and the dry, dry desert sand. 

The fifth bell hasn't rang since I can't remember when.


Details | Free verse | |

You will never know

My heart is pumping out of my chest
As I’m biting tightly on my lip
My hands are beginning to get wet
My stomach has butterflies that will not go away
Thinking of you every day and night
But this is the feeling I refuse to show
Yet I never want to hear you say goodbye
God sent me an angel that I’ll always love
You are the rain that I wish to kiss
So if I ever lose you I will start to bleed
Nor will I breathe for there is no life
Without you here I have nothing at all
But these are things that I’ll never tell
I crave your touch so I hold you close
I think of inking your name on my skin
You’re so lovable and I can’t resist
But you are the friend that I’ll always want
Losing you will be tragic; losing you will be pain
Keeping you sounds way better
Even if I hurt myself and sorrow grips my throat
My love is something I’ll never let you see
I crave to see your face; I crave to feel your love
I crave the look in your eyes; I crave the sound of your voice
But I will never tell you the words I should’ve said
You’ll never know the way that I feel


Details | Free verse | |

Bluesday

Sun please don’t rise tomorrow
Or the next day if you can
As my aching heart can’t face another day
Let nights cloak wrap around me 
And hide me from my woes
When I lay my head to pillow 
And my eyes I finally close

Let not my heart be troubled 
By the problems of the day
So I can sleep at peace with all the world
And if daylight don’t break my slumber
Or some nightmare from the past
I shall sleep until the nightfall
When I will be safe at last


Details | Free verse | |

Ramblings

Pugnacious mind of mine
Seeks an end to this winter fog
Your ramblings, on and on
I close the shutters, for spring is not in sight

Pig manure emasculates the air
Not a farm in sight
Your ramblings, on and on
I find solace in the bedroom closet

I hear the car door slam
The front door slam
Your ramblings, on and on
I chamber the round then nothing but stars


Details | Free verse | |

Red is for Love

stalking behind my
shadow 
a silent approach
never to crack a leaf,
balancing so much
with an ocean of love
never a wave,
just still.
still I am here
caught in a swim
keeping my head
above 
sharing my conscious
to a half empty glass
the red will always stare

never passed, 
just at you 


Details | Free verse | |

Death is not the End

The body, in all its wonders and might, is still such a fragile thing.
We mustn't forget the ever impending mortality,
In order to prize each given day.

Likewise, we must not forget the ever present immortality of our true beings.
Our souls, our spirits, are only residential in the vessels of bodies.
The human brain clouds our actualization of supremacy.
It dilutes truth. It is the cause of sadness towards death, pain in temporary loss,
unjust fates of our loved ones.
It is unreasonable.

We must not forget that we are more than memories and emotions,
For, Death is not a sentence, but a cycle of reawakened enlightenment.
Just as life is but a mere drive towards a greater destination-
A stamp upon each being as they ascend into the vast beyonds-
Such is everlasting peace and happiness in knowing that all will rejoice in the union of long lost souls.


Details | Free verse | |

Your Words

Get a life, she said
Dark thoughts ring through my head
I am nothing—for that is what you have made me
Tears streaming from my eyes
All the past happiness—the lies
Words do matter . . . they really do
They stick to you like glue
I cannot stop sobbing
For the words ring true
I am truly nothing—thicker than lead
The next rhyme will probably be the word “dead”
Damn this mind . . . damn this head
I cannot escape the sorrow
She held it all in
And it bursts now from her quivering vocals
Crybaby, she said
Oh, but you do not know all that I hold in
But you cannot blame them for not understanding
The fault is all my own
I guess the next word to rhyme is “alone”
Wish they could be something more meaningful
Something giving, inspiring
But I cannot help this—I am rotting!
I hate to be wrong but you are right
What’s the use of this sick denial and spite?
What’s the use of trying to live this life,
When I am looking for a completely wrong purpose?
Finding myself downright worthless. . .
I hate being right. . .
But sometimes . . . I really am
And it your words you have spoken
That make it the truth

Your words leave a shameful legacy
Like a sick memory,
Like a regret. . .

March 15, 2013


Details | Free verse | |

Distance

Distance is
To see your smile, and yet be unable to taste it
To hear your breath, and yet be unable to feel it
To own your heart, and yet not know your heartbeat
But worst is always, always
To ever see sorrow in your eyes
Unable to kiss it away


Details | Free verse | |

The Sun Goes Down On My Days

My writings are merely shadows of my regrets

The taste of sadness, of thoughts left unsaid

Touches not felt - 

Tears that dried, leaving salty traces

The feeling of emptiness in my hands, my arms

Walking slowly through my memories...

I long for the moment to come

when I can reach up and touch the sky

I long for one last, unending kiss

I wish I could say "no regrets" as I muse all alone

Now- in a deep shade of purple the flowers fall asleep...

as the sun goes down on my days
__________________________________________



Details | Free verse | |

Quiet Waters

Streams of blue fluid 
Flows downward 
As fragile carcasses decay 
Without a peep of a sound

We’re in the brink of disaster… 

Who invited such fear and anguish?
Who could lead us to quiet waters?

We bleed…
Polluting the waters below us… 
Trickling down the mountain
To our filthy feet…

Cleansing the sin off of our skin
But, it’s tangled from deep within…

The eeriness breaks 
The hearts of a thousand strangers
They all fall away powerlessly… 
Into the chambers of death 

Danger is lurking in every corner…
Pursuing its evil plans
To cut down our hopes…
Growing like crops… 
Rising rapidly –  
It never stops

Dreams of misfortune still 
Rapes our minds,
Plaguing our happiness… 
Consuming the darkness…

We’re sprawling on the ground…
We’re crawling like infants…
Veering briskly like serpents…

Who will set our souls free 
From suppression?  

Who will preserve our hearts?
Don’t prey upon our 
Guiltless lives… 
We’re in complete agony… 
Does He consider 
Our prayers  
Of support and nourishment? 

We scream…
Breaking the repulsive solitude…

Encourage us to keep on 
Trekking toward Your light

Where’s Your path?

You rinse off all of the sorrow 
Giving us a ecstatic tomorrow 

The weeping ceases…
While the corpses 
Tear into 
Blood-spattered 
Pieces…  

The faith of a couple of people
Strengthens us…keeps us motivated…
Not captivated…
In misery…
We’re reaping our 
Ecstasy…   
Leading us to peace and fortune 
Keeping us accustomed
To Your purifying spirit…
Keeping us away from 
Calamity… 

We’re hungry… 
Our demise is close at hand…
Closing in on us abruptly 
Like an obscure cave…

Rescue us from affliction –  
Embracing downhearted clouds…

Those wretched clouds…

Brought us rain when we asked for bread…

Those merciless clouds…

Spewed out scorching fire when we asked for relief…

Remember our supplications… 
Appalling lightning’s daring to strike us  
Out of cruel vengeance 
Out of sheer amusement 

Don’t even attempt to weaken us
We’re blossoming in joy…
We’re under cover… 
You can’t manipulate us 
Like a subtle toy 

We’re praying for
Quiet waters

Offer the deceased 
A second chance

Don’t disown 
Our broken lives

We’re not alone…

We’re just waiting until
The quiet, glistening waters
Gratefully arrives…


Details | Free verse | |

How Do I Let You Go

What will be
Will be!
I know of this, first hand
Your life was taken away
So abruptly!
I will 
Never forget
That day!
Till the day 
My body dies
And
I am with you, again!

“How was I to prepare myself?”
With 
That kind of 
Life changing, event!
You 
Didn't warn me 
You
Were permanently leaving!
I hope 
You know 
How much “I love you”
Know
You will never be forgotten!

I don’t know 
What 
Has got into me!
Consciously
I feel you
Inside me
I see images
Of your face 
So clearly!
Am I crazy 
To believe in this, my love?

“Are you still with me?”
“Is my imagination 
Playing cruel tricks
Running rampant
As
I talk with you
As if 
You were by my side, right now

In my heart and mind
Your face etched
Imprinted
Like a blue print
That never fades
Your foot prints 
Still remain, beside me
My heart beats
Eternally
Trying to make sense of everything!

Forgive me, my love
For being so strong in my feeling
For it has been a long time
Since I lost you, my friend
Something 
I haven’t
Quite
Got over!

My heart 
Having 
A mind of its own
Aching 
To be with you, still!
To see you
To smell you
To touch you
To taste you
One
Last time!

I want to say “Goodbye” 
Once and for all!
As 
We have
Brought out
The best and worst 
In each other
Rivers run deep
When it comes to you and me!

We have had our fair share of fights and arguments
Stubborn disagreements
All of them
Meaningless
Now
You cease to exist!

I miss your lingering touches
Your hand, stroking my face
Your big, blue eyes
Looking into mine
Your warm lips
Your rough, unshaven face 
The way you
Passionately
Kiss me
While
We make love, till dawn

I miss
All those nights
You kept me 
Safe and warm!
I miss
Your
Loving embrace
I miss
Your
Reassurance!
“Am I ever going to feel the same, with another?”
Just
As 
I felt
In your arms, my love?

How
Do I let you go?
How
Do I set myself, free?
I am ready
To love, again!
With 
‘Our eternal love’
Supporting
And 
Guiding me
Especially
In times, like these!


Details | Free verse | |

On Sorrow and Praise

(And being there in their reality)

All sorrows can be born

if you tell them in a story

what if you can't find the words

to tell your malady

what if the story tells you

makes you, shapes you?

 

Experience tells us

that our childhoods

leave us in stories like this

stories we never found

a way to voice

no one there to

help us find the words

 

When we can't find

a way to tell our story

our story tells us

we dream stories

we develop symptoms

we act in ways

we don't understand

 

Being present in

someone else's reality

takes effort

but isn't that what

relationships are all about

effort - hard work

thinking about

significant others

ultimately is more

needed than praise.


Details | Free verse | |

House

House, you have sheltered me,

And kept me safe from harm,

The elements cannot reach me here,

House, you look upon me with love,

Yet something is amiss,

A missing piece for me,

As if you were to miss a shingle and leak,

House, full of life you are,

Yet so miserable am I,

For love is all you have ever shown me,

And still you stand against the grain and the passage of time,

My heart, should it not be joyous for the plenty you bring?

Yet torn are many a shingle straight from bone,

Cracking, snapping as if twigs underneath my own two feet,

House, I love you so,

But today,

Yes, today you feel empty in my soul.


Details | Free verse | |

the sweeter the bitter

THE SWEETER, THE BITTER
The sweeter the bitter, the bitter the sweeter;
There is nothing like a free lunch, the sweeter the bitter
Lift me high so you can pull me down, the sweeter the bitter
Only my loved ones can hurt me, the sweeter the bitter
You sing only sweet melodies to entice me not knowing you are luring friendily to win me and satisfy your secret but wicked ambitions, the sweeter the bitter
I have fought so hard for you so if you can’t praise me, don’t shame me
The sweeter the bitter
Inside the gun is complete darkness but a bullet remains harmless until it sees a little light
Bigger baits attract worthy fishes. The sweeter the bitter
Why has a whole brain been reduced to a common sweet? The sweeter the bitter
In times of light I bloom, so you hold me tight and look at me in the eyes saying “you are simply the best”
Now there is darkness which has covered even the whitest snow, yes I am doomed  but stop telling serpent that I am the worst. The sweeter the bitter
Please tell me just one thing in this world that is always sweet but never bitter, the sweeter the bitter
No pain means no gain, the more you build the more you destroy, for perfect peace we should wage tougher wars the sweeter the bitter
Bear the pains to live death will soon embrace you, crown you, honour you and reveal all your hidden achievements. The dead enjoys more than the living the sweeter the bitter
The closer the light the hotter it becomes
Gaining one friend brings you more than one enemy
Sugar is sweet but could be very dangerous the sweeter the bitter
How I was born is not how I will die the sweeter the bitter
You have done things so great in the world but why do you bother to see the end of the sea
When you do anything possible to start your living just be wise death will certainly drag you and end the living the sweeter the bitter
To enjoy every bit of peace we must tolerate every bit of bitterness
Democracy, election and good governance are all sweet why then do we turn them bitter
The sweeter the bitter
Ironically you are for the nation but your selfish desires scatters the whole nation the sweeter the bitter
A word to the wise they say is enough; this is sweet but very bitter. So I say the sweeter the bitter.
                                                                     By    GODFRED K.B.ADJEI
                   tel:0270800513,email:gak_brant@yahoo.com
            facebook:GODFRED KB ADJEI
                                                                       


Details | Free verse | |

Little One

Fields black and sundered so,
Mists of tears, forgot in woe,
Showers of rain, standing still,
Skin as white as snow,

Passers by wander not a sight,
Pay no heed to such a blight,
Showers of rain, lost in ill,
Wandering each... stone cold night,

Forgot, abandoned, this lowly one,
Hope is lost, all yet none,
Showers of rain, brights forsaken,
Misbegotten hope, now that all is done.


Details | Free verse | |

Depression

When you are numb and in pain at the same time...
When nothing, yet everything is wrong at the same time...
When just breathing hurts...
When sleep is the only time you escape...
When you can't resist it but you can't stand it...
When the tiniest things send you off...
When the smallest things become big accomplishments...
When you're constantly pushed away...
When you can't trust anybody...
When you're misunderstood...
When you stop caring about everything...
When you feel like everything is slowly fading away from your control...

You are a FIGHTER.
You are STRONGER than what is scaring you.
You are BETTER than you will ever know.

-Laura Bussey


Details | Free verse | |

Silk

A veil of sadness
 was pierced,
 the fabric of sorrow
 ripped.

In moments
 a rippling silence
 eschewed.

I was liberated
 from a shroud
 that bound my grief,
 I am now a silken thread
 fixed to spin,

in silent whorls.


Details | Free verse | |

Revel In My Ruins

virgin feet,
i stepped onto the quicksand
in ignorance of it’s
deceit.
as the clouds
overhead draw
together in the
grayest anger,
my heart hurts for relief.
i stand tall, but
that doesn’t change the
reality of this
disaster.
you were a tornado that
spun me for a loop;
so much destruction
in such a short time.
i can’t admit my defeat so
i’ll suffer in silence and
watch you walk away.
no matter if there’s nothing
left for me to rebuild
myself:
this is the end.


Details | Free verse | |

personal sin

The thousandth time rerun
The crying
The apologies
The unspoken regret
Yet you stood
Like a statue of marble
Your eyes quiet
So shut down from emotion
So ruined by what you felt
Just an empty shell

She stood screaming at your face
The one that never left
The one that had your back
No matter what was ahead
The one, no matter how many times
You broke her into unfixable pieces,
Came back, trying to be sure
That you would make it
Taking no regard for herself

How many times did she quietly
Begged for you to come back
Not the emotionless monster you've become
But the rugged angel 
That saved her from her own hell

She stood
Her body convusing from tears
You just turned and walked away
She tried to explain
You didn't listen, 
She spoke in vain

She never wanted more
Than just the person you were
She just wanted someone
To love and miss her unconditionally
Of how badly she had fallen
How scared and broken she was

She stood speaking fact to you
She told you exactly
You didn't listen
You turned your head and shut down
She was trying to protect you
Didn't you see?
That's all she wanted
Was someone to protect
To be protected

To clouded to say no
You tore her once more
A I love you note
Before heinous deed
Didn't you feel guilty? 
Not even a bit?

She gave everything she possibly could
Just to not be put on the shelf again
But pride clouded your mind
And she was placed right at the back
The person who never left
The person who chose to not see what you lack

She got tired
And decided it was time to stand
Time to shy her face away
From the evil heart breaking anger within her
So with some words said
And Some words left
To fester within

She ended it
She ended her personal sin


Details | Free verse | |

The Flower that Shattered the Stone

As I look back I see a girl
She is at a quinceanera practice 
She suffers from leukemia.

Like a bright star from heaven
The sun and water brought life
Then leukemia drained it
It’s sharper than a knife

To see her alive is blissful
Her light sparkles even in illness
The illness is sad but not sinful
As the river runs freely
The mountain does rise

I see with my own eyes
Medicine has helped her recover
Life hasn’t looked so bright before
I’m proud not to see her suffer
We’re all glad that her pain is lower than minor

The rainbow was painted full of light
Like a bright star from heaven
Like the flower that shattered the stone.

Light hearted


Details | Free verse | |

Winds of Change

Like the winds gone by
The feelings come and go
One time strong and powerful
Able to move through most encounters
Other times small and insignificant
Power stripped from time and lack of flow
Always left feeling lost and yearning
Yearning for the time when things were stronger
Strong enough...to Prevail...


Details | Free verse | |

Stand Together

There isn't an answer
No matter where we look;

Nothing will make us understand 
why this had to happen;

It is hard to accept 
That this was out of our control;

All we can do is look forward,
Be a comfort to those grieving;

Be an ear and always listen,
Give a hug when it is needed,

No matter where we look 
there isn't an answer,
In the face of such tragedy 
What we can do, is stand together



Details | Free verse | |

Blessed Breeze

Something feels wrong –
the atmosphere
 Feels dry 
upon my skin
I remember 
the summertime 
and 
its blessed breeze 
– it kept
On flowing…
blowing…
bestowing…
jovial love 
for the renewal 
of your heart… 
Once bleeding…
Beating…
 from deep within
Accept me 
For who I am…
Accept me…
Do you ever ponder
About the good times
We’ve shared?
Have you
Erased it
From your mind 
Forever? 
I wish 
You could rise 
like the sun 
when the dawn 
comes rolling in 
The fog 
Surrounds us… 
With gloominess
There’s no need
To feel my stress
Remain
Stress-free
For eternity 
Dread 
Is caressing 
your soul
Don’t let it
DEVOUR YOU.
YOUR.
Life. 
Is. 
Meaningful. 
Believe me…
Please…
Keep it 
at ease…
Cast away the sorrow
Flick it off
into space
I’ll be there
To run the race
With you 
So wipe away 
The blue liquid…
blinding your eyes
DON’T.
Be. 
Afraid…
Don’t be burdened
By the shame
Sway with me
In the wind…
Where peace
Grows on and on and on…
Forever – 
Until the demise
Of the dawn 
Let the clouds
Drift away 
And sleep without
Disturbance… 
And don’t forget
To pray for 
The blessed breeze
Let me help you
Track down the worries
That try to 
BREAK.
YOU.
Don’t let it get to you
No matter what

Your body is warm
Your eyes glisten 
And reflect
Fascinating light. 
Shimmering
With 
All 
Of
Its
Might. 
Something feels right…
AT LAST! 


Details | Free verse | |

Roses

She glances
From afore does she stare
Poised passive without motion
Petals grace and glance in glimmer
Dans la roseraie de la vue
Attractive allure into light's lust 
Marinating morning's delectable dew
Entwined is she in the rose's vine
Flowered fluorescence enclosed eloped
Claret joues et l'éclat rose
From the bud doth she now call
Flowered glances doth pollen pose
She glances...
Coeur brisé


Details | Free verse | |

Fatal Instrumental

You strummed her youthful chords each day
Took over her fragile instrument
To play yourself melodious tunes
Never thinking of the fact
That it belonged to her
Never asking her permission to play your adult songs
Because it was an addiction at first touch
You couldn't let her have it anymore
It made your adrenaline rush,
It was like a new drug to you
Without it, you couldn't keep up.
Heavy breathing,
Sweaty and hot like mid-summer evenings
Yet everything you touched got so cold
Those hands of yours
Were built with ice in their palms,
One touch freezes everything
There's simply no escape
Playing your sweet music made you a man,
It kept you alive
Knowing that the never-ending instrumental was killing her inside.

BY: MELISHA N. MURRAY


Details | Free verse | |

Lost and Wandering Soul

Where do you go when you need support and the one who has always supported you isn’t there? 
Who is left to help? 
Who do I turn to in my time of need?
How do I ask for help from a God that I don’t believe in? 

 “We can do this. Amor vincit omnia (Love conquers all)” has become my silent mantra but the more I say it the harder it is to believe. 

Can we get through this? 
Can we really over come this obstacle or will this be the thing that tears us apart? 

You are my solid loving presence that I turn to in my time of distress.
You are my soft and loving embrace when love is all I need.
You are my silent reminder that I mean something to someone. 
Am I worth the effort to try to fix this?
 
The fear of impending loss is so great that in my mind I feel as if I have already lost you. 

Someone help me! 
I don’t think I’m strong enough to handle this alone, but I don’t have anyone to turn to. 
I’ve never felt this alone. 

I scream in distress for help, but no one can hear me. 
I sob in heart wrenching agony, but no one comes to comfort me.  

I am alone with only my pathetic my mind’s attempt to keep the nightmares of my life at bay. 
This is my hell. 
The only company, my misery. 
The only feeling, my agony.

Silent prayers sent to a God that I’m not sure is real.
Is this punishment for forsaking you?
Is this your retribution against the non-believers and those who question your existence?

I cry for help but no one answers my call.
I scream for peace but my mind continues to spin and churn.
I pray for relief from this turmoil but who will answer my prayers?

Dear Lord, please aid me in this endeavor and help me to fix the problems I have had a hand in causing. 
Dear Lord, please mend the relationship we have both taken for granted. 
Dear Lord, please let everything be okay, let us make it through this. We have been strong until this point. 
Please continue to give us strength so as we can overcome this obstacle you have placed before us.
I know I ask a lot of you, but please help. He is my light and my life and without him I am lost.

Please Lord; heed the prayers of a lost and wandering soul.


Details | Free verse | |

Him

He stood there,
Face hard, body cold,
She stood in front of him,
Screaming at the top of her lungs,
Tears roll down her cheek,
She held his hand against her chest.

"I'm Here, I'm Real"

Nothing. Silence.
His eyes just stared ahead,
Body still as stone,
So she finally let go and stared back,
For what serves a body with no soul?


Details | Free verse | |

Life On The Street

Dried up like a reservoir
In the mid summer heat
The cracks in the ground
Are like
The life lines, upon my face
I have weathered many a storm
As if
I have lived a 100 lifetimes,
Instead of one! 

Bare, rough, dirty feet
Shoes are hard to come by,
These days
Unless, I steal them!
But, then I will become a target
Having something new
It will get stolen from me
By some other gang
Or by some cruel and nasty person!

“Bare feet it is!”
“Less problems, this way!”
Feet are made for walking
I will use them
For what
They are made for!
“Now let’s get something to eat, I am starving!”

Loitering around Hungry Jacks and Macca's
Asking people 
As they walk out
With their hot, delicious, fresh food
For a gold coin or two
Dumpsters and bins
Look nice, today!
Only half eaten, stuff
A lot of wastage!
“Not the freshest stuff, but hey!”
Make do, with what we have!

The sun is shining today
Not sure where to wash though...
Water is scarce, thank god for public toilets
They sure come in handy!
They say it is fun
And you are lucky to have freedom!
But, 
It is a lie we tell ourselves
To remain ignorant
To pretend, we don’t give a damn
But, inside, 
We really do!

For you see ,
There are sacrifices
To the choices you make
When you have to live them, out
“Don’t be a fool!”
Life is no fairytale, on the dirty streets of hell!

During the day, 
The city lights up
It glitters 
As if
It were made out of gold!
It comes alive with people
Rushing here, rushing there, rushing everywhere
Not really knowing, what 
They are presently, doing 
People reminding me of robots, sheep and zombies
Acting as if they are in control of everything
When in fact, they are not!

"Who knows what is around the corner?"
"What is coming, your way!"
Life is unpredictable,
"Beware!"

“Don’t be mislead by the fakes, around here”
“There is plenty of them!”
Eyes are on you,
Down every alley way
Standing on every corner
Watching you
"You, are in ‘our territory’ now!"

“Hold onto your bags tight!”
For, 
I may be lurking behind you
One minute there,
Next minute gone!
It is the nature of the game
As
I snatch and grab your bag
When I see you off guard
Taking your money
Claiming it, as my own
You see,
I need it to survive on!
I'm banking on you, being rich!
I told you
This place is a hell hole
And, 
I meant it!

This dark place
Full of shadows and conscious deceit
Will swallow you up 
Eating, you alive!
You will lose your way
In its pit of endless darkness
There is no Prince Charming’s, out here!
There is no one to save you
There are only damsels in distress
Like me!

No one
Comes to your aid
When you need it the most
You could diminish and disappear one day
Within a blink of an eye!
Without a hint 
Nor trace of you, left behind
No one will see it happen
Because
No one
Opens their mouth up, around here!
So,
Love and appreciate, one another!
Care for yourself and care for others!
Tell your loved ones 
'you love them' often
And,
‘Enjoy' 
The home, you live in!


Details | Free verse | |

Does it matter

Does it really Matter
If I am an Absconder?
Does it really Matter
If I am not your Bedcover?

It will never really matter
For even if I am not an Adder
I am neither your Barrister
Nor your Bagpiper

I am also not a Backstabber
And certainly not a Backbiter
Though I am not an Abuser
I do feel like an Abusee
Waiting with lots of Glee
For my Anchorage
After a million Age
I can see the old Adage
With a new Assemblage
I will certainly be Backbit
With a lot of Credit
Regretfully, you should have fled, my Spirit
With a lot of Merit


Details | Free verse | |

SPam and Craig

"Proper Pam im-promiscuity carries a
tepid torch against the blank footlights
of a dimlit digital marital marquee---last on the 
billing of a car-null double featurette like
a black and white bijou plotless rerun
hand cranked by an arthritic arm;
pit pursuant of
quicksand lust with a gray gaze monotony
able to hitchhike from a plavce point left
only undetermined,
I've seen more action from a shoe sticky floor
or a large hole in an uncomfortable seat cushion,
not to "juxtapare"  mind me but what a
chronofile,   if briefcases  couldspeak and not the
numbers from the credit card diction-ary of child
desires---stratfied pleasures far from TILT
lean calmly on majestic inconsequentials--like
ships passing in the night.
a blue ribbon in a cud chewing contest


Details | Free verse | |

And Then Lovers go away

And then lovers go away, lost in time, endless time
with ticking clocks
and gypsy girls stealing thumping hearts
in silhouette dreams.
Crying out to be hugged, and mocked, and
those stupid people with blank faces and empty hearts
looking desperately for God, sees something wrong with me.
Nothing is wrong,
I don't have a gun,
an extension rope in my closet,
the closet doors are closed,
and Pink Floyd plays softy, timelessly in the background,
as dreams of the girl, cant get them out of my head.
Tears burst out,
my throat wanting to be cut,
but they always kill me with words,
and finger points.
Mocking laughs of friendship that eat me alive
every time I see that girl with another guy, talking about him,
loving him, dreaming about him, holding him,
loving him, loving him, LOVING HIM!!
I tears me up inside, I just want to scream!
I want my life to be left alone,
but how can I, when a therapist looks at my brain,
for a five hundred dollar session for one day out of the month.
I can face the facts that I'm heavy,
that I have a face of Andre the Giant and the Elephant Man combined,
but what can I do, and how am I suppose to feel,
when they talk of suicide, and I wasn't even thinking of pointing a loaded gun to my head.
LOST! That is what I am.
A blind man in the dark,
a lost soul swimming in a fish bowl,
a coward looking for love in all the wrong places,
but I want to feel, I need to feel that love,
the passionate love I've never felt.
My fragile heart can't take tough love and hose me down afterwards
with the Word of GOD!
I love God, I have faith in him,
but don't point your finger and say that I don't know him.

And then when Lovers go away,
to their dream houses,
lost in neverendingland,
I lose my hope for humanity,
Humanity I hate you- (I do not strongly dislike you, I HATE YOU!)
You all want to kill each other,
than blame it on me, because I sit alone in my room and smile,
you say I'm emotionally unstably,
but no I'm not, I think it is you who fell into society's little lie
you gullible liars.
When Lovers go away,
don't come looking for me,
when the gypsy girl comes along and steals your thumping heart,
because I will be long gone,
murdered by your blood stained words
and "thoughtful" ideas of how I should of lived my own life.

Tisk...Tisk...Tisk... I hope you feel good about yourselves... goodnight...

.6.8.2014.


Details | Free verse | |

Small Little Victories

If we break life down into small little victories,
It won't be long until the battle is over,
And before we know it,
The war will be won.


Details | Free verse | |

Never Forget

What will happen when the public looks down on you?
Do you hide? 
Do you hang your head in sorrow? 
Don’t let it get to you! 
Know that God will always love you! 
No matter what He is there for you. 
Never forget that. 
He is always there. 
He has a purpose for everything that happens. 
Even when things seem bad, 
He has a way to work things out!


Details | Free verse | |

Older

After the rain, the sun
on grass and lane,
delivering faceward
aromas that could belong
only to summer.

Sometimes, in later months,
we would pretend December’s rain
was July’s as we gazed
through steam-beaded glass,
the crackling fire behind us,
saying little, hardly need of words.

We would imagine we smelled the grass,
anointed with the gentle summer spray,
its beneficent caress,
so light of touch,
like a lover’s fingertips
brushing cherished flesh.

The crackling fire before us now,
we sit, say little, so few words to say,
each recalling how, long ago,
we could turn winter into summer.


Details | Free verse | |

Memories

Stay alert to the melodies surrounding:
The banging on the walls,
so distant, so loud.
the noise resonates hatred
and tells of battles once fought,
once lost.
the scraping of rough feet,
on the smooth, dirty tile.
the noise resonates sorrow,
and tells of times once tried,
once failed.
The opening
and closing
of doors.
The noise resonates dashed hope,
and tells of dreams once dreamed,
once ruined.
The shaking of the house.
those who think they are larger
try to knock down the house.
All they do is shake it,
though do they ever give up?
The noise resonates All things,
and tells of everything once created,
once destroyed.
eliminate the senses,
as the sound envelops the body that's
neglecting the invasion.
But the heart was never strong enough
to eliminate the rebels,
that secede the senses.
Each note touches the heart,
sending like a storm
visions throughout the heart
filling each inch with sorrow,
deceit,
pain,
letting the ensemble reverberate
through the veins,
touching first the hands
losing insensitivity as they start to shake.
Moving to the feet,
falling through the ground as they begin to quake.
And forcing through the blockade
into the mind
shutting down thought
no future, only past
as these thoughts,
with such grace,
envelop each neuron,
slipping to the mind
like a fox
visions of tears
from past moons.
Present tears begin to form
stealing security;
peace of mind.
Don't run,
Don't hide,
from the teachings
of survival
in experience past.


Details | Free verse | |

Rescue

So many faces pressing in
Demands increasingly unsettling
their needs so vast and loud
a cacophony of voices around.

Persistent pleas urgently decreed
so much despair not pausing for air
Drowning in their sorrow I can't-
turn away these souls reaching for hands.

See me now! Hear my call!
No other option I embrace them all.
Sinking in these turbulent waves..
Searching for grounds high enough to save...

Me! Who could hold this many?
To drag to shore their burdens 
so vast-I scream- I need-
I flee to those mountains of peace

High on these peaks I weep...
For the weight of responsibility I feared to keep.


Details | Free verse | |

MY CURSE

"I love you"

What powerful words those are, but you used them not to show love but to leave un-healable scars.
You do not love me for indeed that was a lie. 
You should die for your sins as I die each day from the pain that you unselfishly gave.
Oh how I wish to find shelter in the grave where pain and hurtful thing are not found and bad memories are forced to remain silent.
Please cursed one do keep quiet and do not speak to me.
Like the fox you are cunning, your tricks you were careful to hide.
No warning was I given when you took off your disguise, and who am I but a helpless victim?
What am I but a broken vase?
Can you not see the unrelenting pain as you look upon my face?

I would wait forever if it meant ever waking up from this bad dream, but clearly I'm living in a nightmare even at night you haunt me as I sleep.
Does there not exist a place where I would be safe from you? 
The answer is no I fear.
My tears would follow me anywhere I tried to hide and my pain would follow after. 
Will this truly be our finale chapter?
Were we truly not meant to be?

Oh cursed one do not look upon me. I am melting away as a candle does.
Soon nothing will be left but a ugly stain of what use to be.
For you my love I am dying, will you not save me now?
But why would you when you are the very one who tried to kill me.
As much pain you have caused me why must I still love you?

Oh a curse you truly are but yet I cannot brake free.
I need you, but yet you do not need me.
I promised to never leave you, but yet you are leaving me.
Badly betrayed by the one I loved more then any other.
How could I ever put all my trust in another like I put my trust in you?

Get away from me you fool!
You behave just like a carefree child.
I cry out in my pain but you do not hear me and if you did you never came to my aid.
Keep away from me you cursed one and never come  back!
I am sick of all the hurt, you are indeed my curse.


Details | Free verse | |

UNTITLED

written 30th Nov 2001


Lost and alone
 for she doesn't know where to go
This mother is now stuck
 she weighs up her options
And see's she is fighting against gossips 
 she stops, and takes a look at this world
What have they done, to this lovable little girl
 as she open's her eye's
Only to be faced, with all there lie's
 feeling alone and tired
She walk's on, to only find
 she is saying good-bye..
Taking one last look around
 before she lay's down on the ground
As her eye's completely, silently close
 she whispers, her final prayer to die
Still she walk's on, lost and alone
 but the difference now is quite clear 
For you can see her soul.....just disappeared...


Details | Free verse | |

lapsed sanity

I caress the black
 leaning into its soft
 velvet hold, hoping
 to blind the agony

but,
 the reflection of my sadness
 overwhelms and sickens
 I swallow nails with each gulp
 food carries the stench of death

uncaring of a torn psyche
 I continue to look back
 searching my mistakes
 rehashing every word

with each glance at our end
 a slice of sanity is lost
 and consistently shaking
 my anchor is breaking loose

I dream into nothingness
 becoming a lost beggar
 who can never come home
 for it is barren and bare

profound truth eludes me
 despair cloaks me in ashes
 as my sight ebbs to fade
 I begin to slide away 

I awake to each breathless day
 in the realm of the forgotten
 lying with the shredded ribbons
 of my love scattered to ground

this long endless night
 echoes with silent howls
 and the dripping tears
 bled from my crucified heart

in this self-made prison
 I am now living death alone


Details | Free verse | |

Seeded Pain

This is far more greater a pain that was ever needed ,
The damage done long ago when it was seeded.
    This hurt you planted deep within me ,
Has grown to a  size that just shouldnt be .
     Disrespect and neglect it means nothing to you,
For it is something you just will always do.
     Love doesn't hurt like this it never  could ,
The words mean nothing to you but they should .
    Compassion and understanding is what love takes ,
If you want to live a love without heartbreaks.
    Talking and listening go hand in hand ,
To love in this life as a woman and a man.
     Im so devistated by the events of these days ,
Not able to to get you to ever  change your ways.
     How can I convince you that it is all a mistake,
And the pain and hurt  I can no longer take .
     Makes me never  wanting to awaken again,
No matter  even if it's  Gods  greatest sins .
TAC 


Details | Free verse | |

Everyone's Gone

Everyone's gone...
There's no one to look up to...not one...
Not one will be kind enough
To look down and attempt to help me...

Everyone's gone...
I'm beneath the debris
There's no one there to save me...
I'm left to my own misery 

Everyone's gone...
I guess I'll find my way out of this maze
Without any clues
I'm waiting for relief to dawn upon me

Everyone's gone
I'm dealing with so much trauma 
I'm watching for any signs of support...
Hear my echoes of pain...
It drives me insane...
Catch me before I fall off the cliff...

Everyone's gone
I'm all skin and bones
I'm trapped like a hunted animal
The predator took a bite into me...
Don't just watch me suffer...
Deserted in this lonesome state

Everyone's gone
I'm kicked around like a soccer ball 
Hear me as I call...
Help me to stand tall

Help me... 
Reach up to the sky
To feel the coolness seep through me
Help me...
To be inspired to write more uplifting songs
Help me think more positively - help me wave g'bye
Help me...
Forgive me for all of my wrongs...

Everyone's gone
I'm a screwed-up building
I need you to be my backbone 
Straighten me up...help me to be stiff like a soldier
About to enter another horrifying war
Support me today...
And stick with me tomorrow!

I want to let go of the past memories...
Scaring away my happy moments and delights 
I want to smear away the blasphemies…
Obliterating my blissful days and nights

Everyone's gone...
There's no one to depend on...not one...
Not one will be brave enough
To look down and attempt to help me...

Everyone's gone...
I'm beneath the city
There's no one to show me the jolly sun...
I'm left to my own misery 

Everyone's gone...
Fine… I'll find a way to get out of this nightmare 
Without any clues
I'm waiting for relief to give me strength instead of fear 


Details | Free verse | |

a song of sorrow

A Song of sorrow

the rhythm
inside a sorrow
testifies that the pure love within you

the warmth of flowing tears 
on your cheek
declare the presence of your golden love 

though only silence
to meet a sorrow
but the soul is enjoying
a heavenly touch 
in a song that you have not understand

~(c) Sukmawati Komala~
Sept 2013


Details | Free verse | |

Till Death Do Us Part

I lay awake, at night
Hearing your spirit, calling me
I feel you, deeply
Another time, another space
How, do I bring you back home?


Details | Free verse | |

True Reality

Why is it
I am always wrong?
Something
I have always done?
Why is it
I am 
Never good enough
In your eyes
In challenging times?

How many times
Do I have to say
“I love You?”
What will it take
To convince
That mind 
And 
Heart 
Of yours?

What can I say
That will ease 
This jealousy
And 
Resentment
You feel towards me
When drinking 
Too much booze
Killing what brain cells
Are left
In that stubborn 
Head of yours!

How long 
Will it take
For you 
To believe in me?
For I know
I am a fool 
Staying here, with you!
Feeling desperate
Lost and lonely
Dreams squashed
Emotionally drained
When ‘we’ need to pull together
In union ship
To make 
This bond strong
Between us!

'Uniting as One’'

'Love Conquering All'

“Well!”
“So, I am told!”

I love you more
Than this
Arguing and fighting!
But 
You refuse to understand
The love I have for you

My head 
Tells me to stay with you
But
My heart knows
I cannot!
For
I have asked you 
To be kind to me
I have asked
You to open up 

Your anger and rage
Continues growing
Out of control
Taking over
Like
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde 
Burning bridges
Being ruthless
Always
Out for the kill!

I need to break away!
I need to clear my head!
I need to experience
Love and longevity
True togetherness
With 
The one’s I love!
My heart needs to experience
‘Healthy Love’
My heart deserves the best!
You now
Belong in my past
I am no longer the person
You once knew me, to be

Your insecurities
Your inner demons 
Far bigger
Than any of the love
You choose to acknowledge 
Or 
Feel from me!

You can believe this 
To be true
If nothing else!

“Love thy self”

Share
Without personal gain
Being 
Your Primary Motive!
Know Love 
Be Love, in Action!

Be honest
Have empathy now
As
I cut these cords
Of emotional bondage
That 
Bind us together 
True Love 
No longer 
Our foundation!

I stand on my own
Knowing
I have learnt the lessons
You have come to teach
I now know
What love isn't!
“I thank you”
For showing me this!

My illusions of love
Blinding me
Colouring my experiences
Revealing
Only what 
'I Wanted Us To Be'
Not
‘True Reality’


Details | Free verse | |

YOUR, DEW DROPS

Shall the truth sprout from my tongue!
That had lied too many,
But I ain't lying to you, my love
For your death, my tears, will compete with the rains,
That fills the oceans, to its full, to its brim,
And the flowers that filled your odor,
Shall not be blown with any of those of the heavens,
I am, with you, in the world of the dead,
Wandering heavily, in search of the odor,
That lighted my nose, my eyes, my heart,
In the world, where the alive, we were.

Oh my flower, shall you sprout again,
I shall never be the winds that make your petals shake,
I shall never be the bee that bite you and steal your nectar,
I shall never be the thorn that hurt you and makes you bleed…,
Oh my love, I will be your dew drops,
That touches your mind to your body,
Drop by drop, make you alive; fill your heart with a gentle chill,
Kiss you, a thousand kiss, make you smoother,
Fill your nectar with the honey, that no bee ever tasted,
Then I will dance with you, and make love to you,
To your entire petals, till I fall and take my last breath.
 
I wasn't a traitor, my love,
I wasn't a liar, my love,
But I cared for you as the light, the sunlight,
That watched you from a distance, from a very long distance
From the spaces, as the sun, as its light,
But couldn't touch, couldn't lay my hands on you,
On your heart, on your mind and couldn't know your pain,
Those made your petals shrink, tired, and fell one by one
Till you fell off in the search of moister, for air,
And took your last breath in front of me and died.
©Anees Rahman


Details | Free verse | |

Yet again it Rained

Yet again it rained,
It rained last night,
It wasn't the beautiful, transparent, shining rain,
It was quite ugly, opaque, and lackluster rain,
It was yellow rain,
It was the Sky crying,
Desperately, Desolately, Forlornly...
Deeply wounded by Man,
Man, Egoistic Man. unable to rein in his ambition…
Foolish Man,
Cowardly Man,
Sybarite Man,
Trees had been cut, forests had wiped away from the face of Earth…
Never to return on the planet again...
Rivers polluted, flowing with dead fish…
A single drop equivalent to a deadly poison...
Birds long dead, not a voice to sing in the forests any more…
Flowers no more,
Only Black twisted venomous thorns, 
Waiting to suck blood...
Yet again it rained,
It was the Sky crying…


Details | Free verse | |

The end of poetry

The cat beneath my feet
Is someone I would never cheat, 
I wonder if she realizes
That the end of poetry is near

Grandma cooked soup
Chicken soup of course, 
I wonder if she realizes
That the end of poetry is near

North Korea has the bomb
The south are reluctant to respond, 
I wonder if she realizes
That the end of poetry is near

He reads the signs and turns his back
This load within his heavy sack, 
I wonder if he realizes
That the end of poetry is near

He shakes a fist to his God
In rage before he receives the nod, 
I wonder if he realizes
That the end of poetry is near

I wonder if he realizes
That the end of poetry is near


Details | Free verse | |

Maggots


My demons have got a hold on me
I can feel their presence when I sleep
Pulling me down into this great abyss
Filling my joy with sorrows emptiness
Dragging my soul across the coals of hell
Where the arid land is filled with hopes decaying smell 
Maggots eat upon the dead flesh of my rotted faith
From a God I once loved but now have learned to hate
The bible tells me there is a better day
But that day has come and now its passed away
Im no longer buying the bull*****this world has to sell
I closed that bloody book of holy wars and say oh well
Silence has now become my only friend
And my fear has become its own unto the bitter end
I can hear you knocking, but I won't adhere
Because Lord your no longer welcomed here
I have tried to do things Your way
And it ripped the smile from my face
Now my Lord and demons can not kill what isn't there
I say **** it all into the darkness where I disappear 


Details | Free verse | |

Letters to the Moon Part III

Dear Son of the Moon,

How do you tell such beautiful lies? 
Because your lips, they don't give off the 
slightest quiver. Only a smirk. a smirk 
whose hidden meaning I thought to be 
whimsical. but no; you're malicious. 
because you speak of sin with the kiss of 
a dove and the sincerity of heaven. 
How do you tell such beautiful lies?
Son on the Moon, I can see the way you 
glower over her with your eyes of coal. 
Lust drips from every pore of your aura 
the way skin melts off a corpse that's been 
dipped into acid.
because she is sin and you want a taste of 
all that is wrath and greed.
you tell your beautiful lies  with  a 
carelessly devoted whisper and
She is yours.
because your heart of steel is coaxed with 
cocaine and she's confused the high with 
the truth.
She's been in the dark for so long that 
she's blinded by the flash of your Polaroid 
camera that will all to quickly fade away.
but she doesn't know that.
You are her sun and she's reaching for as 
much light as she possibly can because 
your warmth is euphoria. .
Son of the Moon,
How do you tell such beautiful lies.


Details | Free verse | |

SONS OF SORROW

I hath seen many
days, A bleak
passing blur. A blur
for mine meagre
senses to grasp,
To give a thoughtful
mote Some note to
any of my woes. A
stirring pond my
thoughts, Pondering
on my dismal state.
What meagre value
doth a shell hath,
Weighed against the
oceans' vastness
unbound
Is found wanting in
worth. All efforts
of mine at insight's
light A minor to
hopelessness's major
hold
So mot seasons of
life pass us by
Whilst gloom
cradleth us sorrow's
sons. Lone and torn
in a world of
sorrow.
Without a heart what
will hurt? But flesh
which with time
heals Why ponder on
peace?, knowing
sorrow cradleth all
life. And so to soar
above sorrow is to
lose one's mind. Rip
said tethers and
find freedom,
binders bounding you
to a lower hell Why
stay bound to life
when said bondage is
to sorrow. Why not
embrace the flitting
darkness between a
blink and make it
your last


Details | Free verse | |

Tears

Smiling overcomes the sorrow
Like a flower starts blooming
After a new moon night 
Smiling dabs her tears
She stands up to admire the dawn
The new day encourages her 
To leave the troubled times
In the long chilly nights
Since her first love flew away

Smiling overcomes the sorrow
Tears residue remains while  
Sparkling eyes got out of suffering
The gloomy nights brought away
All the troubled days
Tears have cleansed her life  
Restored her hope and strength   
Boosted her self-confidence


Details | Free verse | |

Tonight Alone

 I  sit here tonight alone and  so ashamed,
 A guilty concious and only me to blame .
    This regret I am feeling is so very real,
 I am toremented by the way I made her feel.
    How my heart cries out with anger and discuss,
Thinking  of the damage I have done to her trust.
    Her heart broken and there's tears in her eyes,
How sad I am that I had made her cry.
    It's like being alone in the pouring rain,
Even that doesm't describe the pain.
    Why I would ever do such a thing  it's so odd,
 Never again will this happen  I pray to God .
    My thoughtless acts has hurt you so,
The words I wrote have cut deep I know.
     You can't think I would do this with intent,
All the I love you's  I have alays meant.
     Please my Darling Angel can you forgive me tonight ,
I promise my love I will make it all right .
     My Baby I love you with all of my heart,
From now to forever  I have from the start.
     Yes I am alone this night with only me to blame ,
For the pain I've caused and why I'm so ashamed .
Tac


Details | Free verse | |

You'll never know

You may never know why you're here or why they're not.
You may never know what you need or what you've got.
You might wish for warmth in the midst of snow,
You might hide away, though winds still blow.

And while you're feeling lost and small -
You've forgotten you used to stand so tall - 
When will you take the time to see,
All the special things that you can be?

That man on the streets, you could have walked by,
But you stopped for a moment and you said 'hi'.
The elevator door you could have let go,
You held it for the girl whose tears didn't show. 

You'll never know that you changed that man's day,
He picked himself up and chose a different way.
That child you helped, with the tears in her eyes?
She made it in time to say her final goodbyes.

And so, my dear friend, don't question your value,
For I, and the world, we believe - and need - you.


Details | Free verse | |

Rained Filled Clouds

Rain filled clouds are what follow me now ,
No sunshine for me these days and smiles are not aloud.
My sight is blurry now and can't listen to what you say,
It was you who has caused this and why I am feeling this way.
Hold on tightly now It has been the ride of my life ,
But somehow it slipped away like a thief in the night .
How did I not see it so plainly writen on the wall,
Never in a million years did I expect to lose it all.
But here I am standing with my back  turned away,
For I can not face the sadness you brought me this day.
Why has this happened to me and just what will I do,
Shell of a man in a life that was suppose to be spent with you.
It's over now and it's all becuase of you 
I just cant see  theres anything you can do .
 Blinded by the love  for you never a  reason to doubt,
So quickly I learned howI will be going without.
 The warmth of a love you brought to me ,
 Now I will live without what was meant to be .
You were always a a part of the world I've grown to know,
Now that your gone the sadnees in my face will forever show.
These cloudy days bring me nothing but pain,
My life forever will be only me standing in the rain.
TAC


Details | Free verse | |

Morbid Luck

Bad luck could hit hard…
It’s difficult to catch a flash of glory… 
Unfortunately, we end up with the wrong side of the coin 
It’s tricky to snatch eternal glee…

I wish I could increase your motivation and prove your significance 
But I have none that I own – you made a big impact on me believe it or not
I want to grant you success…or I’ll let God work His magic
I have the passion to accomplish my jubilant goals – I just got to be energized…
Be strengthened and have self-reliance  
I prey upon confidence… 
I pray for your dreams to fall into place… 
I have no choice, but to find my way out of this labyrinth… 
OUT OF THIS MESS…
Suffocating me in harsh distress…
Dissatisfaction could shatter your hope

We are fading… we’re fragments
Escalating ferociously…  

It’s almost impossible to remain at ease during these hard times…
Fortunately, we have a chance to be on the right side of the coin

The most difficult part of living is… 
Dealing with the outrageous crimes  

Bad luck 
Is totally a morbid result in life’s situations…
I believe that you could endure
The catastrophe that burnt up your 
Last drop of courage…

What a tragedy you turned out to be… 
Your morbid luck drained out your bliss
And inflated you with squalid misery…
Your morbid luck dragged you 
Into the abyss……… 


Details | Free verse | |

Blind

Let’s stare
unblinkingly at
startling visions of
beauty too grandiose
to comprehend.
Let’s look deep into
each other’s souls
and observe truths,
and not pretend.
Let’s turn our gazes
skyward, aspire to
be limitless,
unerr’d by the SUN.
Let’s envision what
was, what is, what
might be and what is
yet to become.

I once looked into
the bottom of your
heart, saw love, and
thought it a
beautiful place.
I observed it once
again and found only
the pitch darkness
of an abyss and the
unloving cold of
outer space.
‘Tis a horrible
thing when honest
eyes hear nothing
but lies.
How horrible is a
knowledge of seeing
when it benefits not
the eyes…

I look at you and
sometimes I see
love, sometimes I
see pieces,
sometimes I see
unforgiving cold
But worst of all,
sometimes I see
nothing at all and
am blind!


Details | Free verse | |

One of Those Days

He who wanted attention
Wanted not
Wanted to exist
But seems he never did
Does meaningful things
For others
But they never noticed
Never seems to be something
Something he was
Something he is
They said he's a Pessimist
Your optimism only irritated him
But you made him
Molded him to what he is
He had a choice
We all had
Its just
You chose to drive him away
Its not like it hurts
Not like it used to
But not anymore
He spent his life with the trees
Taught him not to talk
Taught him not to socialize
Taught him not to feel

Guess what
Im a pessimist
And
Im a tree

Not like you
Optimistically stupid.


Details | Free verse | |

Clawing, Scratching, Screaming

Clawing, scratching, screaming
A heart's endless scheming
Can you hear me? No!
Can you feel me? No more!
Do you see the pain drip from my eyes to the floor?
Remember my taste?
Oh what a waste.
I can't un-remember anymore.
Look to my hands, see their desire;
Choking out words to quell their fire.
Nails dig in and drag
Breaking a cracker's crack!
You never looked in only looked back.
Jump, dance, run, fall
I will some lifetime from now
Smash this wall.
Never again but that's not true.
I'll live this, the longest death
Every time I think of you.


Details | Free verse | |

I Still Love You

I still love you
Buried six foot under
Life no more
Risking my heart
Everything, I have ever known!
Letting you go
Eighteen years of panache and tears
‘Loyalty’ because 

‘I Still Love You’

At a cross roads
Changes of initiation
Giving in, risking all
Trading this pain in
Making my heart whole
Know by saying goodbye
And, letting you go
Know, for an eternity

‘I Still Love You’


Details | Free verse | |

crytso crio me-loma mirrormask

This is my ode to the feces of this site. I write, compose, think, delve, soulsearch and what do I get???????????????? Poems too long, poems that won't load, deleted, not copied not updated, nonsubmittal due to some site circumstance. I am not that kind of P           O                  E               TTTTTTTTTT who filters in a nutshell, follows the rank rules and love laments their own sillystrengths nas to how people shoud write. Write to yr strength and discount the masses, of which I am not associated.. I posted a pretty good poem but every time I tried to add/subtract whatever, I was erased or timed out. Maybe that's a message Don't have a site that is dysfunctional. I have list more words on this site thatn I have been able to post. Not that means anything since poetry is a daed art form. Nobody reads, but everybody writes. Rejections outside a site thet is not incestual brings dreary defeat Been there bought that. Fix your site so I can take my time composing and not have to hurry so I don't run too long or out of thought time. Here I f-ing go again. Rewrite rewrite rewrite rewrite againagainagainagain because of ur time oput or something stupid. I am about done with this site. Hey, don't worry,,,,,,, be happy!


Details | Free verse | |

The Descent

I was floating,
 only now I'm sinking, Now I'm only sinking, my past drags me,
 deeper and deeper into the abyss.
 I never drown, the cold water in my lungs never stops the heartbeat,
 I just sink.
 Never dieing, never slowing. 
 For the dankness can not kill me,
 and cool water can not end my descent,
 It can only make me colder.
 It can only drag me deeper.


Details | Free verse | |

Broken Heartstrings

storms roar
across angry
restless skies,
like a hawk
seeking its
unseen prey,

a motherless
child afraid
to slumber,
like a weary
dove angst
tires of hope,

its groaning
limbs burst
yet asunder,
like a lion’s
cry as death
awaits nigh,

listening to
its mournful
sighing heart,
like a red rose
petal before
its gentle fall,

mere mortal
flesh yearns
till its lungs,
like deserts
athirst shout
forth aloud,

its naked soul
in streaming
tears bellow,
like hooting
owls affright
dare console

© Eugene Harvey










Details | Free verse | |

BROKEN

Broken 
He was a man of my dreams,
At my senior year
He smiles that made me laugh
He teaches until I master each lessons
He touches my hair
And then he shrugged
I fell in love.
But  he disappeared,
All of a sudden.
I cried.
I begged.
I waited.
He never came back.
 
I had this guy
While I was with number one
He was with in my parameter
Stealing each moment,
Like a thief under my shadow
Looking
Observing
And loving…
I was broken
He collected me.
I broke his heart
Thrice
He broke mine
Once.
He left me
I was dumped.
I still have this agony
And angst of revenge
But what can I do
He left.
He gave up.
He can’t live with me.
I am notorious
sadist
I wasn't the person
Worth loving.
I work
Worked
And working
Out of my stress filled
Fast phased life
I received a call
A guy from the past
Has been looking for me for years now..
He finally found me.
He insists to go out that night.
It was dark and raining
But I went with him.
It was one of the best nights I had
To be with someone else
When I already belong to another man
Why not
I don’t have a ring yet
I went home 2:00 am
Happy and inspired
For the new spice that knocks into my door
I opened it
Just to find out
He went back to his country day after our meeting.
It was the 3rd time
I was broken.
Again.


Details | Free verse | |

High-Reaching Hope Leading Destructive Despair

Being Near
It is impossible to say what Feeling is Stronger
Attraction
Nervousness
Paranoia
Or just wanting to wrap thou in an embrace for all the comfort that wants to be shown unto thee

This meager attraction that has sprouted dwindles by what you see in another
This case seems to be always present throughout these experiences
A sheer passing of Anxiety courses through when near this conduit of feeling
Of course, even at the Genesis of these feelings it was known what they were
Now, it just grows and threatens to burst at the seams

Ever expanding with every passing memory,
Every possible moment that could take place between the two
Every Glance in this dangerous direction

The Memories
How they haunt and stretch the Hopeful side
Leading to a fantasy that cannot take root in reality
Even if the seed has been planted
The Watering will never occur by both
In the same degree,

The Paranoia is perhaps a more pressing matter
Leaving this dreamer to wonder if their feelings are right in their place
Or just a calamity that is sure to follow these rushing tides of sensations
When your eyes are averted in a more hopeful and dreamy direction
When a more realistic approach is so near

Alas, I find myself in a pattern
Something that has become most vexing
This newfound desire seems much more realistic than the last few
Although, saying that fuels a Hope that should not have, perhaps, ever been allowed to be conceived
However,
With the progression of things these past few moons
That possibility of Hope growing is Becoming More
And More
Inevitable
With it, comes an even greater chance of Despair
That has ever been known 
By this poor stricken soul...



Constructive Criticism is welcomed for this, as well as suggestions that might want to be made.
Please and thank you!(:


Details | Free verse | |

His Child

I’m a child in heart 
I’m sensitive,
So don’t misuse it

I’m God’s special child
I need to respect 
My zealous Father

I need to honor Him
With my young heart,
I pray for freedom

How awesome are Your deeds? 

Relieve my heart’s ache
Help me escape 
From the darkened pit

I can be active
And beat that race 
I’m on God’s good side 
God’s mercy 
Aids me in times of trouble 

I appreciate His consideration 
He fulfills me with elation


Details | Free verse | |

Salvation

Hollow dreams and empty screams, nothing but dust, rust, and blood soaked efforts dried up and crust, kicking up a fuss. When I wonder, nothing but plunder after plunder, the bank account tumbling, and rumbling down its due course to its death after it has come apart fumbling. Alas, the end is nigh, when we will sit up high, looking down and around, at the people on the ground, when we no longer touch the dirt with our scarred feet; the day we become found.


Details | Free verse | |

Once Here Now Dead

Once here
Now dead & gone
“What am I known for, this time round?”
I exist only as a memory now
A memory that fades, over time
“Who will remember me, when I am gone?”

No one knew me
Yet people will say they knew me, so well!
A laugh, how often people think “they are experts”
Yet, really
Know nothing at all!

“How well did you know the inside of me?”
For, if I was to ask...
“What is my favourite colour?”
Or, “what’s my favourite song?”
I listen for answers...none come

“What’s my favourite food to eat?”
Complete silence...
I could hear a pin drop
Round...about...now!
“Do these questions fall upon deaf ears?”
For I ask...

“Who truly knew me?”
“What am I known for?”
“Who will remember me?”
When I am dead & gone


Details | Free verse | |

old thoughts of myself

.i have listened to this tune at least a 100 times 
as i sit and ponder the puzzle around me how to play the pieces 
is there even a chance in this chess game of romance 
i have been alone all my life never no sibling 
she taken from me before her chance at this game this 
journey of this world just descent on to the after life 
continue on my journey thru life school education 
or one torment of bullying and torment why did i live 
this pain destroying the inside destroying the brain 
13 years of this middle and high school a bit different 
this brings new weapons to the game the game invloing love
still a game it seems i cant win not then not in middle school no girl ever 
looked at me nor in high school i was hung up on one that would never love me 
no prom dates no dates at all am i really that much of a distburnce 

still threw all this i have tried threw failure after failure and being nice trying 
to help other giving advice trying to let others love backing away for the sake 
and sanity of others and there game there journey 
so tonight i sit and listen to these tunes once again crawling looking again 
hoping the reality of my turn becomes true i wanna slow dance in a burning 
room just to hold some one in my arms be the one she all ways dream of
I have said all the right things countless times but its like destiny 
wont let me win some times so i ask god are u going to leave me crawling in 
the dark or 
are u going to show me some light some me some mercy and throw some one 
in my life 
that will give me the love i deserve i pray once again trying to have hope trying 
to 
show u some faith so work ur will show me something give me a sign help me 
before i lose my mind i am tired of being stuck in the torrment please put me in 
some new 
chapters a chaper with some love in life i need some one i truly do so please 
point me where i need to be


Details | Free verse | |

Walking with Sorrow

I walk with sorrow
The distant noise of crows and morning doves,
are heard in the wet early mist
Nature's breath rises slowly from the forest floor,
along the path covered in fallen leaves
My hands resting on cold layered stones,
a wall built by slaves stretches for miles
Their agony releases in mumbled tones,
I pass in silence
The crunching sound of each step I take
feels like an intrusion into a time I can't understand
Trees now rotting, some crushed the wall
where they fell, bring a peace to the scene
A coat of serenity worn by shadowed death,
from the time of whips and chains
Ghostly figures haunt this place
Appearing and disappearing over time
floating in the mist, moving,
as though still pulling rocks from the ground
Their fingers covered in blood, staining each one
as they pile one upon another, while the walls grew taller
Now crumbled ruins, lost to memory
Only the crows and doves stand guard here now
Their haunting sounds cascading over the stones
crying out in sorrow
A companion I walk with


Details | Free verse | |

Woe In Our Lives

Whatever you do, don't let go...
He's going to arrive soon – don't be overwhelmed
Whatever you do, don't look back
Woe is embracing our lives
Don't let yourself turn to black
Keep on track... 

Woe is dwelling in our lives...
Lurking in every corner
They sprout from the ground like jagged knives
Wait until the dark tides
Pass through us...God's still protecting our lives
Whatever you do, don't doubt Him!!

Don't be a forlorner - 
Be a conquerer!


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Hope for a Broken Soul

When I think about things that are gone and passed
I mourn for the things that did not last
I feel the hurt and tears that fell
I cannot get free, trapped in this Hell
The fires of memories lick at my flesh
Burning up tears that I thought would always last
Coal black eyes, you can see my soul
I gave up everything, everything for a mole
But such rich eyes…
They beckoned me in, promising me everything
Using all of my sin
My heart still aches
My soul still bleeds
To hear that voice
So honey sweet
And yet I let you hold the knife
Feel you twist it in my back, and I never seem to fight
The blood starts to rip, taking with it some hope
That one day I will stop this nonsense
And take that one last fatal blow
But no, not to him
I want him to stay in perfection, I never can harm him
The knife is for me, to mortify my own flesh
Let the blood pour, like my tears once did
Maybe then he will understand
I regret the mistakes made
But no matter what, I would always belong to him 


Details | Free verse | |

Waiting

Oh when shall You come, 
To take away the strife, 
Of everyday life, 
Which causes great despair, 
We are awaiting for You to come, 
But it has been so long! 
How long shall we wait! 
Our enemies forsake us! 
We are moaning in sorrow! 
We need our Savior to come back! 
For without Him, 
ALL is lost, 
For without Him, 
there is great despair. 
- Inspired by Psalm 6 

Psalm 6  NIV 
O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger, 
or discipline me in your wrath. 
Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint. 
O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony. 
My soul is in anguish. 
How long, O Lord, how long?  
Turn, O Lord, and deliver me; 
save me because of your unfailing love. 
No on can remember you when he is dead. 
Who praises you in the grave?
I am worn out from groaning; 
All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. 
My eyes grow weak with sorrow; 
they fail because of all my foes. 
Away from me, all you who do evil, 
for the Lord has heard my weeping. 
The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; 
the Lord accepts my prayer. 
All my enemies will be ashamed and dismayed; 
they will turn back in sudden disgrace.


Details | Free verse | |

TRIALS OF STRUGGLES

trial of my pains that hurts,
leaving me only to comply with no disclosure.
never ending unwanted choices of solutions;
better not having one at all,
sometimes to much to behold.
crisis of unwanted tears,
left for nobody to witness.
too personal to ask for help on you own,
like your pride is ruling over you.
trying not to always frown,
limited by the resources you got.
not to mention;
limited knowledge,
that has bigger than life fantasies of illusions,
with even more limited intelligence,
cramped with unwanted mirage of self' righteous imagination.


Details | Free verse | |

A Walk Through Ruins

How can I define to you in a rhyme 
My pain, melodically, nurtured by time 

How can I make anyone feel what I feel 
When all I know are lies, how can I make this real 

Let me bring you down with me 
As we walk through the fires, tell me what you see
 
Give me 18 years to destroy your worth 
I’ll be in your brain til you regret your birth

Let me throw you to the lions blindfolded 
Stand your ground, see how long you can hold it 

Let me sully all that surrounds you
You’ll thank God for the worst you've been through

Only when your life hinges on hiding like I hid 
Will you be capable of knowing pain like I did


Details | Free verse | |

one way road home

Just buzzed
 only three 
maybe four 
Snow picks up 
Head starts pounding
 I have to get home 
Pick up speed
 a light?
 No a car
 slow down
 Screaching breaks 
Spinning 
out of control 
can't stop 
Cars colide
 Darkness......


Details | Free verse | |

Rose Patch Hands

Shall I plant a rose patch to explain your scars
So the world may never know how you treat your beauty?

Shall I hide the blades that oblige your compulsion
To shave away the flesh that burdens you so?

Shall I distract you with gold and glitter
And pull your eyes away from those scarlet stains?
 
Shall I bind you with thornless rose stems
If not for pleasure, then for a moment of peace?

Shall I pull down my plaques and papers
So that I might trade them for your undivided affection?

Shall I salve in scripture and pray to the wind
That this apparent affliction may wander from you?

Shall I mire in melancholia, and exchange my hope
As a sacrificial lamb to ransom your amour-propre? 

Shall I remove myself so that I may no longer prod
Your beauty to suffer the lies that only your eyes see in the mirror?

Shall I plant a rose patch to explain your scars
So the world may never know how you treat your beauty?


Details | Free verse | |

NYC III

that man 
that cried 
on the corner 

tears 
made him 
invisible 

I too 
let him 
wash away 
in front of us 

I saw 
him 
sail 
by 
in 
his 
own 
liquid form 

and we 
were 
a thousand 
pairs 
of shoes 
crossing 
the street 
so 
our 
feet 
wouldn't 
get wet. 


© Gry W Christensen


Details | Free verse | |

When I Am Alone

Storming through the day with joy and laughter
solitude and bliss
But they are not what I feel when I am alone
When I am Alone the cold rattles and pains my joints
This immobilizes me to my cheap twin spring mattress
Although the sun rips through my window
I see no brightness
Only darkness and gloom
When I am alone my thoughts are as clear as distilled vodka
My mind guzzles and drowns in a sea of insecurity
I think of no hope and no bliss



Details | Free verse | |

Bundled Up in Bondage

My poverty-decaying teeth start to chatter 
From the cool blows of your breathing
Bundled up in bondage, 
I’m unable to see the light in farewell 
Things have gotten too far between us…I can still hear the hallow drums,
Beating with doubt, apprehension and disdain 
It’s echoing falsehoods and it’s doing us no good
It’s doing us no good…putting us in a rotten mood 
Somehow, we have something in common – 
We both have shame that overflows in us…
It’s been there all along…
From the beginning of time, I’ve been 
All alone, all along!
All alone, all along!
Do sing a joyous song
So, that I’ll feel like I belong
It’s a shame that we must part soon
But, cheer up, dearest – go get some rest and sing a positive song
While I’ll be shining like your midnight moon
 
~~Chorus~~

Give me a chance to overcome 
These waves of emotions
Understand my situation 
Don’t pay attention to the commotion 
I see you in secret, 
Skipping with pride and unspoiled vitality 
While I’m… frozen forever 
Livin’ this life guilt-free is impossible in my case…
Save me from the contemplations,  
Releasing insidious lies

~~~~~~~

Your screams fail to reach my ears
You won’t hear me cry aloud
These tears were bottled up inside for years
I just wanna scream out loud! 

Turn the wheel in my mind’s eye  
I’m overflowing with guilt and horror 
Don’t let the tide of terror sweep over me with woe
Open wide your mouth 
Let me fill it in with words of pure, inviting insight, 
Not dread-infested remorse 

~~~~~~~

It’s strange really – 
I had the same guilt as you, 
But that was a long time ago…
I can barely remember 
When I befriended that stranger
I didn’t even know it would cause 
All kinds of mischief and danger…
That angered me to the core
Yet, it told me there was still some hope in store


Details | Free verse | |

Soulful Cries

I scream, at the top of my lungs
No sound, comes out
Silent, curdling screams
Is, all I have left, now
I wrestle; I fight, with all, my physical might
While, being forced down 
By the mighty strength, of many men
The pungent smells of dirt, sweat and grime
Embed, in my senses
Their ghastly hot breathes; making me, want to puke!
Their hands, all over me
Constantly grabbing and groping me
Hollering and cheering each other on
Then, someone punches me
Someone, I cannot see
A large man’s hand, covers my nose and mouth
Muffling my soulful cries, terrifying, my insides!

I can’t breathe, now!

Many heavy handed blows, follow
In a blurry haze
I watch, my scarlet red blood splatter
Upon the snow white sheets, that surround
My sacred blood spilled
My salty tears mixed in with sticky men’s semen
My body, a raging torrent of scorching hot lava
Lulling into a translucent, entranced state
Surrendering, to the primal, animalistic frenzy
The men, taking what they want, anyway they want it
Devouring every morsel left ,of my weak and weary body
My body fighting, for its God given right
To live, now!
My life flashes before my eyes
The sounds around me begin to fade
My eyes glaze over, my body goes limp
My body betraying me, when I need her the most!
Silently, I pray for this is not my will, but their own
“Have mercy upon these souls” 
“Please forgive these men, as I do, now
“My love remains with you, heavenly Father”
Blackened tears of jet black mascara
Weave their way down
Through the bloody crevasses, of my black & blued skin
My body used up, a lifeless vessel, totally numb!
My innocence and dignity stripped!
No one, can save me, the worst is done!
Bashed, beaten, worn
I am nothing, no more...


Details | Free verse | |

So Many

So many people I love.
So many people I've lost.
So many hurt
So many gone.

Bye bye for now, at least that's what I'm told, but it doesn't hurt any less when the people you love you no longer can hold.
Taken away to a better place.
See you soon! 

So many people you've lost.
So many feelings inside.
Makes you wonder if it's okay to hide.
Just for a while. Away from sympathetic smiles. You'll be back soon. It'll be okay.

So many hurt.
Tongues don't know how to say the right things when their brain is pulled by so many strings.
Just go through the motions. You'll come back soon.

So many gone.
So many have left for that place and you're just here like 'see you soon, right?'
But you never know. 
Where did they go? Where will I go? 
But even still, so many here.

Maybe one day we'll see each other.
Hugs will be on the house.
Tears will stream, but different than before. 
It once was an ocean of tears vast and never ending, but maybe with someone to help hug it out, it'll turn into a ocean with an ending.

So many to love,
So many to lose,
So many to heal,
So many to say bye to.

It's never over, but this is life.
So many four letter words that cause strife.
But for right now, the strife is all we see and when we get better (and have those free hugs we were promised) we'll see the joy they truly bring. We'll dance again, even sing. Maybe we'll be happy and smile up to heaven and say 'see you soon'.


Details | Free verse | |

IWhispers

Whispers

I whisper your names.... to myself.
I whisper....”Happy birthday” and “I love you”.
I whisper...”.I still think of you.”
I whisper....”Goodnight, till we meet again”.
I whisper....”Take care and hope your angel ears can hear my whispers here on earth”.
I whisper....because I am afraid that if I speak too loud, my heart will hear and break again....
So I just whisper........


Details | Free verse | |

The Little Lord Jesus Sacrificial Lamb

The little lord Jesus
asleep not on the hay 
but in the street 

Like Abraham the little
boy was sacrificed on 
the machine's high holy day
One day after the Winter Solstice

His family lived in a comfortable
home in Brooklyn NY but his father
took the subway to the highest
mountain near The Dakota in Central Park West

The 3 year old named was translated
to Kyrios Christos or the Lord in his father's tongue

He was placed on the high alter
at exactly 12 noon prime meridian

On the day in question
a mother's child was stolen from the womb
unlike the Star of Bethlehem 
Venus went backwards 
Virgo in opposition to the dark side of Pluto and Pisces
and the Uranus square or the Trickster

Like Christ his red blonde hair
was covered in blood
the measure of oil equivalent
30 pieces of gold

In three days times
the three wise men would have been
welcome to Gotham City but the Mayor
went golfing in Bermuda and the shops were out
of Gold  Frankenstein and Myrrh

But what of his message of peace and good will towards men
the sacrificed was paid
and the little Lord Jesus
lay not in the hay but
dead in NY city streets


Details | Free verse | |

Waiting on That Call

If only I could kiss u as many times as I shed a tear last night.
I wish i were older. I wish people would  realize we are just two lonely kids trying to find a way in this world. I hope when the time comes for us to meet again we don't regret a thing. We will work out perfect we won't have to make anyone happy but ourselves. But for now, goodbye. I hope your life is as fun and amazing as you have made my life these past few months. I hope your successful, and I hope you find someone who loves you as much as I do. I hope you are happy in everything you do. Anyone who is yours is really lucky. Just know that when you need me to keep our promise, to find and fall back in love with each other, I'm where I always said I would be, waiting on that call, and on that day my life will be complete.


Details | Free verse | |

Laurel

I am victory.
I wonder: present, not past or future.
I hear, sunset… and sunrise!
I see with your eyes, with eyes unclouded.
I want: helping, love.
I am smart.  I am strong.

I pretend … it’s alright though.
I feel: happiness, brokenness.
I touch the hearts, the spirits.
I worry, does it help, what I do?
I cry, loneliness.
I am done with losing, on with choosing.

I understand: alone, as in, unique.
I believe: it’s alright!
I hope: family united – kindred-ness.
I dream, conquering suffering.
I try, NO… I do!
I am the coolest girl in the whole wide world!
I am – me!


Details | Free verse | |

Yesterday's Sorrow

Let your healing rain fall down on me today
Everything will be alright…
Things will work out at night
Things will fall into place I pray! I pray!
But, He whispers to me "no worries, don't let your heart beat with fright!"
You make me feel naturally high 
Like a child’s unique and creative kite...flying with all of my might, 
Caught up in the breeze of the blue-green sky, never wave your goodbyes
You were always there and everything worked out alright
Through thick and thin and our love is what sets us free from lies
But, I stumbled upon guilt…I was poorly built
I don’t feel like our love is enough to make me satisfied
We’ll be together again possibly...despite my guilt
I need a friend to talk to...I'm abashed and terrified!
Hiding in my shell...waiting to feel God's mirth...to experience a rebirth
I am…so lost though! Friend of mine, be with me now ~
I say hello to you...livin' this hell on Earth...this cruel Earth ~
I am…so scared – the price, the cost...I must pay it off somehow ~

I'm weak and fatigued - that's m-my excuse! I placed my feet in someone else's shoes!
I have been singing the blues lately...please play fair
Well, my neighbors and play mates keep telling me bad news...I feel like a baby in his terrible twos!
I put my hands up in the air, confuzzled and full of despair...

My heart thumps without a care...
Share...share with me your sun-shining, serene spirit - you're the tranquil truth, not a silly, magical myth!
Dance with me p-please? Prepare...
For the battle between good and evil - fight the good fight and get it over with

We were a fine pair once upon a time, 
But I was living in a fairytale
We were a fine pair when we worked as a team so sublime, 
But I must keep trying not to be a fail....
At last, the healing rain is pouring upon me!
My smile widens with sunlit glee...Sun-drenched glee!!
In the mirror, your face is projected on it and it reflects sadness 
Your skin is pale and now our friendship is like milk that’s stale 
I am the cereal box, left unopened (why do people judge by the cover?) and I’m, dejectedly, left in the far corner of the shelf
We were burned a thousand times by the flames of discouragement
But, you must get up and motivate yourself 
To get better by avoiding feeling discontent 
So, what now – there’s no way out
And my mind is racing with double doubt,
Falling prey to yesterday’s sorrow
I need to hold on . . . I need to move on . . . I want to carry on . . . I want to shine on . . .


Details | Free verse | |

An Untold Love


I never thought …
Love will penetrate
through a tiny fracture
in a closed shutter

She came into my life
She made living fine
She filled my heart
She touched my soul

That short peek
was the spark
for an untold Love

I was drowned …
in her blue eyes

I was charmed …
by her soft smile

I was filled …
with her magical vibes

She walked into my life
She filled my world with LOVE

With her around …
I was always fine

She filled my heart
She touched my soul
My heart on fire
My mind in peace

With her around …
I was always fine

But her sudden death
torn everything apart
all my dreams died
nothing left to hide

All came to my life
sorrows of an untold Love

I wish she knew
she was my true Love

So many moments
all went in vain
She vanished away
remained only pain

Where could I seek
to find her again

Time is so unkind
when she is not around

Forever in my heart
Forever in my soul
I will always Love her
I will always hold her

She will ever last
in my Love lament


Details | Free verse | |

Loneliness

Loneliness can be favored But not fancied Loneliness can over power you, Your thoughts taking over control Loneliness is quiet, Its isolation will suffocate you If you're in loneliness Far too long


Details | Free verse | |

Alone

Alone I stand..steady and calm as my eyes wonder, Deep in depression my soul lays in its fetal position, Crying out for affection as I wanders alone through this purgatory we live in.


Details | Free verse | |

The Letter

The letter I find on my hotel bedside table,
after waking up by sunrise for the first time in six months,
Somewhere,
there is a museum of unfinished surgeries
where You can reach inside the exhibits and finally touch everything You've been holding onto since birth.
In the end,
there is a one hundred percent chance that one of Your own organ
s will kill You,
So stop looking over Your shoulder.
Stop acting as if You've been thrown into someone else's life & are waiting to be returned to Your own.

This is Your life.

You are not a library book,
that You may have many homes. You are more permanent than that.
More cool
than a cement handprint.
More favorite
than shirt hanging in the closet for the next owner to love.
Also, You are the sketch on the basement wall that still speaks long after the house has crumbled.
Stop calling Yourself a student,
when all those nights
all You've been studying
is the geography of some other person's hell.
Those nights You've spent playing hide and seek with language and the words were starting to
win.
Those nights,
when You were only the axel of a film reel.
Those nights,
when Your mind was too tired
so You started praying with Your fist instead
Those nights,
when it had been so long since anything had changed for the better in Your life
that You actually started to believe that nothing else in this world could be life changing.

The night,
when You lost Your best friend.

The night,
when You stopped poisoning Yourself with the things others say "He's to weak to try".
& on the midnight television,
Gunman is holding a human shield.
& they will tell You,
He is a coward for this.
They will tell You,
that he is inhuman to hold another's
life for his own.
&he holds her
The same way that he would hold his lover.
The only barrier against everything else.
His arms so thick, that they can stop the bullets.
The sirens are singing
&he is terrified of letting go.
& they will tell You,
That this
Is nothing like love.
& they will tell You
that You're either
too young,
too old
Or too naive to understand
& they will tell You,
that love has nothing to do
with either music or poetry
regardless of the words that
firework Your brain just from waking up beside her.
That every song You loved on repeat in highschool
was just a mass marketing scheme working it's way
into the brains of twenty million kids like You.
& when You hear this,
You will avoid those songs for years but
MY GOD
When You put those headphones back on
You will hear not just the song
but every time You've listened to it before like Your memory is a circus safety net
You can patch it even when You are falling
Your arms, are wide enough
to catch Yourself in.
&It will be easy to let go of the hate.
It will be easy to say that You wrote this.
To hear every word in someone else's voice,
"You wrote this."
Even when the pens, & the power
runs dry,
"You wrote this"
"It is Yours."


Details | Free verse | |

Bleeding Love

Bleeding Love
Curled in a ball
Not knowing what to do!
Knees against my chest
Cradling oneself

‘Soothing my soul’

Memories of you
Flooding my brain
Your words
Left as lingering whispers
Your smile
Imprinted, upon my mind's eye
High light of my day!
Electrifying my nervous system
Jump starting my heart
Punishing me
For loving you
‘Bleeding love’


Details | Free verse | |

My last letter

My last letter


Came to me breathless and tired,
His yellow eyes I could well notice,
His dad too had such eyes I enquired,
And God ! another brother having similar,

My reference letters helped fasten diagnosis,
But oh the agony of disease itself,
The mother, the siblings losing cheer,
When came to know it wasn't curable,

Well he was a proven thalasemia !
Three of a poor family suffered,
My hands trembled and eyes teared,
Blood transfusion to five year old every other month,

My heart ached and prayers had failed,
Words in the letters were weeping for justice,
A costly affair to life of a poor innocent sick,
Why God? For what wrong of his did he suffer?

She wasn't coming last three months,
Apprehensive I went sleepless,
One day to find the mother bitterly cry,
Little had I known it was my last letter !




Written September 13th, 2014
For contest 'Maybe my last letter' by Elly Wouterse


Details | Free verse | |

delete

 delete

 It is a death
 in and of itself
 giving death 
 no meaning
 just part of the
 inexorable routine
 while the words
 eat themselves


Details | Free verse | |

Tranquility -Part 2-

Pour fourth your tranquility 
Show us Your endless glee 
You're just like a key...
Unlocking me free
From captivity...closing in on me

Shred me like paper... my emotions rip me apart...
As...if...
I had no point of existing... 
I'd love to socialize here...
But I feel so tarnished 
Tattered deep inside
My emotions 
Swallow me alive 
Like a dark, mystical tide
Pour me into His delightful cup,
Oh GOD! Give me
The strength to lift up my fist 
Shred me like paper... my life doesn't matter
You make me cry tears of remorse...
Hear it spitter-spatter 
Upon your rooftops...I wish I could mend your sores
The emotions cling on to me...
Always by my side
I wish it would...just...
Subside. . . 
For they always beg for me 
To go on a bumpy ride...

Sorry...I'd rather hide
And seek God's tranquility... 
I'll remain by His side
Hopefully...I'm not denied

My future ride
Has arrived
 



Details | Free verse | |

Messed Up Love

Burning up
Torn apart
“I have had enough!”
Jaded, by your words & thoughts
Deepest, darkest parts of my heart
Drowning in my own tears and sorrow
“What have you done to me?”
“I can’t function, any more!”
Messed up love!


Details | Free verse | |

Insecurities

(poem version/unedited - first look at my future writing projects)

Doors will open soon
Love is a hidden treasure
Doors will close...oh joy!
Ascend, self-esteem!
Lift me higher than the clouds
The clouds overhead
Hey? Give me your all!
Hit me with your best shot, man - - - 
We need to stand tall!
The clouds overhead
Shed droplets of blue lament . . . 
Sunshine's near, pour clouds! 

~!@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@!~

Sunshine's near, pour clouds!
Relieve gloom of Yesterday's tomorrow 
Cheer up, whiten up! Relieve the gloom of our sorrow...
Cheer up, lighten up! There's more hope to borrow
Let the sun rays warm your soul . . . 
Disconsolate clouds
My self-esteem's low
Who ruined my self-esteem? Oh...
No! It can't be you!
Is it you?
Disconsolate clouds 
Why do you weep bitterly?
Do you need a FRIEND?....
Why do I feel blue?
Arise like the sunrise, please?
Have high hopes with me!!
Do you need a friend for real?
Clothe you w-with hope, not sheer fear
Cheer up, brighten up!
Cheer up, listen up!
Elevate me with sheer cheer!
Grab the Rope of Hope========
Hey? I welcome you 
No! Don't bid me a farewell !
You're good company!!
Good riddance, sorrow
Attitude of Gratitude . . . 
Tomorrow draws near
You erased my fearz
I'm feelin' like I belong
Smile with sunlit glee with me!


Details | Free verse | |

Stealing Away

Whenever I pass through this 
Silent graveyard
I feel itching pain 
In my heart
Through my every vain
Thinking that my parents
Who are with me now
Will to come to this place
One day without looking at me

I lift my eyes 
To see their terribly wrinkled faces
And lean bodies
As if heavily burdened with time
I see their watery eyes
As if having a deep hidden sorrow
Of the thought 
That they are to leave us
Any of these days

Their pain is out of words
Out of imagination
This is the pain 
Every parents feel while leaving
Their loving ones
I cannot bear these thoughts 
And keep away my sight
From those painful watery eyes
Stealing away from the reality
Of this sorrowful world


Details | Free verse | |

Regret in life


Hanging onto my virtues,
As rich as an infant to his 
belongings,
And Just like a thief to its loot.

I sit on hilltop of regrets,
On which I pause and ponder.
A poisonous thorn pierces my 
heart,
As I view my dead life from the 
summit .

Tears seeping down through 
closed eyelids,
I fall down like dried leaves of 
autumn.
A weary wait to end this 
remorse,
and state of repose as if zonked 
with tranquillisers.

With repentance open to 
ventures,
let relics bring deliverance.
I emerge victorious as a convict 
in the death house!!




Details | Free verse | |

Hallow

It sees
It does
It does what it sees
It sees nothing
So nothing… is what it does.
I see
I do
I do to see
I see more
But the more I do… the less he sees
I am hallow
And hallow is how I’ll be.


Details | Free verse | |

My Guilty Pleasure

Under this star sprinkled sky my heart is confined beneath such a brightly lit blanket,This air caressing my lungs so casually I feel as though I'm drowning in the pain, My stomach aches and shivers from anxiety at the lingering selfish thoughts in my head, I'll stay by your side shouldering the burden for you so long as you hold my hand, In this dark world I'll call out your name so you'll always see my soul beat for you, The pain I carry I wield it as my double edged sword beating back the tears, Holding onto this emotional scar carved into my heart I like the weight of it all, Standing under this firefly night........Loving an hating my very existence...


Details | Free verse | |

Remorse

Lifelong promise
where are they? 
now...
in the arms of 
the mighty time
or, somewhere else
I thought myself 
the luckiest
you proved me
the useless
now life has no
connection, with me
as, I too
don't want to survive
WAIT...
knowing the ultimate truth
I, being relised
you were correct
nor was I
I lost a love in the 
form of you
NOW...
tears share both of us
but that mighty line
can't be just overwheled
by that tears
sadly, 
I lost you, hence I 
lost my life


Details | Free verse | |

On a Pedestal You Stand

You were my friend
And protector of dreams.
I thought the world of you
And on a pedestal you stand. 

You used to say 
You would always be there.
And you proclaimed 
You would always have my back. 
To protect me
You would go to the ends of the Earth
And love you would not lack.

Show me.
Don’t tell me.
Our feelings aren’t a priori.

You speak of a fairy tale
That I can’t help but want.
But when it comes time 
To spread your wings and fly,
Tinkerbell has died.

Show me,
Don’t tell me.
Our emotions aren’t a priori. 

I ach to be able to give and take
But I must not tell lies.
I can’t love you to the moon and back
Until I have ridden the celestial elevator 
And have watched the Earth rise.
And then if I can leave 
The cosmic dreams behind,
I have proven just how far my admiration extents.

So show me,
Don’t tell.
Our hearts aren’t a priori. 

However I fear
You never did stand up 
To my expectations. 
As soon as you slouched 
You fell right down
And the pedestal crashed 
To the ground. 



Details | Free verse | |

In Between the Rests and Silences

Rest, stirring heart,
Narrow-minded in your fears, courage close awaits
Though bold your words be, 
Your lack of action gives you away and despairs you
I am amused by your imaginings, 
For simple these worries be,
And strange is your heightened sorrows,
A sadness fit for the about-to-die children,
Begging the snares to let them go...
And yet you have that sorrow...and lovely and safe you be...

Rest your head not on man's shoulder
Instead, lay upon the golden cushions of My word-
Where rains of treasures and fruits gently fall,
Laced with peace-garnished with happiness...

Your brothers share deeply in your concerns,
Alone you never are,
For look! -out upon the beads of leaves,
How they rustle playfully and sway with the breeze
My breath gives them life-
How much than shall I give  thee? 

This I tell you, daughter,
Each lonely soul shall find true love,
In between the rests and silences,
On the very off-beat... on the tip of quietude,
True music tremulously trills,
Flattening all mountains and hills,
Kissing their lowered heads and wiping their glacier tears-
Long-patiented love insatiated


Details | Free verse | |

Fire and Ash

With every tear that falls another part of me breaks and turns to ash.
Ash because every glorious, passionate fire fades away and turns to ash.

The smoke clears and all are left are crumbling ashes soon blown away by the wind.
And the miraculous fire that once consumed everything goes away.

I am the ashes left over and soon scattered on the breeze,
and you are the once glorious flame that ignited my every being.

The end result?

You will burn brightly again,
but I...I will continue to drift haphazardly on the wind with no purpose and no use.

Left to float among the sky and wait for you to ignite again so that, if only for a moment, I could feel your warmth again and remember what it was like to burn so passionately with you.


Details | Free verse | |

Crash

Bang crash
hear that boom
wow, what could it be
It wasn't you, nor me

deafening screams
all around
no silence can be heard
no, know where to be found

people, chaos everywhere
blood and screaming
in the cold night air
my heart is racing

i look about
tears come to me
so many people in agony
im afraid, oh yes indeed

whats it like
is speed fun now
look around, take a look
the blood, the screams

i see your tears
they well up inside
sorry you say
so scared you are

six months on 
inside you're cell
one life broken 
to you its hell


Details | Free verse | |

CIVILITY IN CAPTIVITY

Shh! Here comes the Civilian general
My black-master to a black-master
On whom my boney back bent
On a twenty four hour daily chore.
Planting happiness on Masters vegetation mind
Reaping sorrows in my vegetable mind
Commands he always bark not shout
Where be this boy, this orphan, this ill-fed scoundrel?
Me and my orphaned enslaved soul, he referred to us
You wallow in the fat brewies of my bounties
Centuries of your worked pennies cant buy
And licked up crumbs off my silvered table
Yet will not rise to see my works glister
Though pennies and cents be wasted as wages?
Me think and my battered orphaned soul
Deep down my battered breast aloud
Else Master is of Femme-fatales offspring
When his tobacco temper cunningly flares
In a venomous rage of hurricane
Threatening my dual starving slumbering soul
Whom fear shadowed in my weak ribs
Master always come snorting, swearing
Under clenched, stenched breath
At one weary, boney, pitiable carcass
Peacefully snoring his sorrows away
Only Master wouldn't take that labor break
Else, my crumbs be forfeited by half
Rest comes to clothe my dual naked soul
Only under white scorching sun
The only shelter Master ceded to me.


Details | Free verse | |

A Ripple

A ripple
Just a drop
Shakes the water,
Makes it dance,
Deflects the
True image
And causes a stir

A ripple
Just a ripple
Changes the
Image seen.

A ripple
Just a change
Causing heartbreak
And pain

A ripple
Just a drop
Of the
Tears flowing
Slowly,
Softly,
Brings happiness
In the form of rain.


Details | Free verse | |

Empty Room

Alone again now
Seems no hope’s forthcoming
Nothing makes a sound
But a hearts hard drumming

The nights are cold, forlorn
Waiting for a touch
In pieces, a life torn
The need of you oh so much

An empty bed, an Empty Room
Wishing one were here
I’ll find you in dreams soon
Yes my love, take away my fear

And so as I think of you tonight
Love songs fill my mind
As I try with all my might
Hoping to search you out, and find

Deep thoughts, late nights, and fears
As I imagine how I’ll fare 
In my life, who will fill the years
With whom my heart and soul I’ll share

An empty bed, an Empty Room
Wishing one were here
I’ll find you in dreams soon
Yes my love, take away my fear

But for today only an Empty Room
Comforted cooly only by the moon
My love, I’ll be with you soon
Far away, in another Empty Room


Details | Free verse | |

Losing My Grip

I want to believe…
In friendship love
I need to receive…
Gifts from heaven above

I want to achieve…
The treasurable confidence 
I need to believe…
And jump over the fence! 

I want to breathe 
I want to dig up what’s underneath…
I’m buried alive…
When will Your guidance arrive? 

I’m on fire… 
I’m catching myself before I slip
I’m a flat tire…
I’m slowing down…I’m losing my grip

The dogs are hovering on my left side…
I’m defeated by levels of uncertainty 
I’m calling for help… who will give me a ride?  
My mind is muddled and empty 

How can I be a believer
When I'm far from serenity 
Who could be my reliever?
I'm too late to be saved from my misery...


Details | Free verse | |

This little light

There was once a light that danced on the water
Happiness would always surround her
this light that would sing a happy tune
Never had any enemy, never lived in gloom
so breathtakingly effortless her beauty from within
but someone saw the light and wanted it all for him
He stole it and hid it and kept it away
 
This light never saw the sun or the water again
this light so bright she used to be
but now she began to dim very slowly
So tired and lonely she began to cry
all she longed for was  love
and to be outside
the light she was kept away so long
That when she was no longer beautiful, he finally let her go
But the light was all burnt out
tired and without hope
There was once a light, who danced on the water,
But this light has gone out
from the wicked heart of another
 


Details | Free verse | |

Move Beyond The Mold

So Morality is guided by a compass
Who engineers that compass
Does my true north bears south and my east to west
can we see beyond the basic conduction of a decision
as a compass is only as strong as the material it is built with.

Actions are based on philosophies
philosophies dictate principals
A Principals weak point is dogma 

A principal is only valid at the time of conception
What factors have changed
What factors have not changed
Why does the love  affair between hypocrite and principal melt so deep


Logic is my pathway to righteousness  
righteousness  and morality should then stand on the same pillar of strenght
Why then are they so far apart
What is this fallacy

To connect the dots of another mans soul 
why cant they connect to mine
All I want is a relation
Yet my logic does not convince 

Blame goes to the synapse
the pathway created by the mold I was poured into
The hand that was never there.
Creating righteousness that could not be challenged

Where do I go to be to transformed
I am screaming  to spill over my mold
Yet limits are dictated
Do i not get a say


Details | Free verse | |

Nightmare

I dream in vivid colors
Of the lost hopes
Of those forlorn.
I dream of woods
And horrific screams.
I dream of sickness
Devouring me.

Nightmares no longer twisting.
I dream now in colors of gray.
A solid unfold gray.
Never changing...
Never reliving those fears...


Details | Free verse | |

Tears for Reflections Past

It happened fast, like a camera flash
Next I know she tip toes across my heart strings
She dances across it
Brief like mistletoe, awkward like middle school
Steppin on toes, her laugh turns hollow
Simple tune and my fears prove true
As the Celestial turns Demonic
And I rip
The stars from the sky for ammunition
Another part of my childhood turns victim
Another grave stone to mark a failed expectation
I scream in the memories
I shed tears for reflections past
Another smile built as an ashtray
Another shot and my sight goes amber
I was once the glass menagerie staring through the looking glass
Pressure cooked and shattered, eyes turned to broken glass
All I see are nightmares and faded dreams
As I hide in sleep simply to reminisce
As I saunter through my scar garden


Details | Free verse | |

EMPTY

When words cannot 
comfort
Cannot say enough to 
express self
Totally drowned deep

What do you do?
Had the situation been 
good it excites,
if not it tortures

What do you do?
A cry can best tell
But to itching ears, no 
meaning

What do you do?
Can best do nothing
Empty

©Kofi Asokwa-Nkansah


Details | Free verse | |

Beautiful You

I can read you like a book,
I'm all too familiar with that look.

You've been lonely for way too long,
I know you aren't feeling very strong.

You held on until you couldn't anymore,
To someone who walked out the door.

Hating yourself cause you knew better,
He never believed in forever.

You fell in love again last night,
And woke this morning alone, right?

In your eyes I see the little girl,
That loved to dance and twirl.

I wish that you could see,
Worthless is something you'll never be.

All the shame and pain can go away,
You don't have to cry every day.

So turn around, you're not too far,
To change you mind, be who you are.

All those nights and days,
Can all be washed away.

By the One who's strong,
He can right your wrongs.

He will rid you of your fears,
He will dry every last tear.

Show you you're a flawless pearl,
Again you'll see through eyes of a little girl.


Details | Free verse | |

Starlit Fantasy - Spell-BOUND

I look up at the ebony, starlit sky…I’m gravity-bound…I’m awestruck 
& I don’t know why I feel stuck in place…I’m searching all over the place…the 
only thing I seek and prize is your striking face…but, my young heart is slowly 
breaking apart at the seams…I hear your echoing empathy…
While you’re soaring with your other bird buddies…you embraced vast grace 
and you stole my wings, but I got to get up and try, despite envying the fact 
that you’re “free in space”…I feel that there’s no space for me in your heart – 
mend my shattered dreams & have some sympathy…

There are countless stars in the ebony-indulged sky You ain’t foolin’ anyone with your sugar-coated lie I’m wishing your twinkling spirits won’t pass me by I wish upon countless stars To see you again – I am never waving goodbye – don’t add to my collection of scars You’re my starlit fantasy – so sweet, so neat…it’s such a treat
I look up at the nightfall-captivated, starlit sky…I’m spellbound & I don’t know why…
You’re a beautiful nightmare – you’re making me feel high You’re my beloved drug – we’re flying too high in the once aqua-blue sky I wish I can catch a glimpse at the stars as they serenely fly… I want to see you flourish like a fervor-blooming flower in the springtime It’s almost time to take off! It’s time to take flight – we’re running out of time You’re my starlit fantasy – so sweet, so neat…it’s such a treat
I look up at the nightfall-captivated, starlit sky…I’m mesmerized & I don’t know why…
I’m not falling victim or being brainwashed by your plastic, impious lullaby So, don’t even try to murder me with your callous words & crooked-sounding tune...my oh my… How time flies…I gottah go catch up with my sleep…don’t cry for my departure…don’t cry! Everything will be awright with or without me by your side – you are as sweet and luscious like fresh, homemade apple pie Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Since we’re happy-go-lucky, We should go on a train and go somewhere far, far away – who’s with me?
I look up at the nightfall-captivated, starlit sky…I’m spellbound and I don’t know why we’re ascending… Why are we flying extremely high? I can’t meet up to your standards…oh, I give up – I’m descending… Alright, look at me straight in the eyes – don’t you dare whisper your insidious lies in my ears… You make my cup overflow with cheers…don’t laugh at me…don’t jeer at me… don’t judge me…don’t reject me…don’t abandon me out of the blue or I’ll be sucking up abominable fears…my high spirit sears Look inside of me…reflect on me…deep down inside, though I don’t wanna admit it, you were my starlit fantasy…I know, I might sound crazy…twinkle with me like countless stars in the ebony sky, for you’re my beloved lullaby – believe in me…put your confidence in me…motivate me…relieve me from distress that I’ve sponged in for countless years…I was doused in dread Don’t hate on me…don’t spit on me or put me down for who I am deep down inside…don’t envy my potentials and talents…don’t smash me into smithereens…don’t invite the commotion and chaos – wipe away my bittersweet tears…I’m afraid of what lies ahead


Details | Free verse | |

What Was

How do you move on when you still have so much hope?
How do you move on when the love you once felt hasn’t truly gone away?
How do you think about something you fought for so long and tell yourself it’s time to walk away,
It’s time to give up?
You realize to yourself that you can’t.
No matter how hard you try, you can’t.
But it’s all that you want, to just look the other way.
Every time you feel you’ve made a breakthrough, 
Gotten to the point when it doesn’t matter, 
it doesn’t hurt you’re hit with the painful realization that it does matter and it kills you. 
Some days are so good, so beautiful almost.
You feel so happy, so carefree as if everything in your life is just perfect.
But like any time you pretend, 
you come home and cry yourself to sleep because you’re so good at faking it when you’re not alone.
Nothing makes sense to you, how it all ended. 
It seemed that everything was just fine and then suddenly it wasn’t one day.
Then the next, he got up and simply walked away.
You can get up everyday, put on a smile, laugh at peoples jokes, and truly appear to be satisfied.
You can have a simple conversation with him, 
it not meaning much and have it feel as if everything is better, 
as if everything is over.
But what you can’t do is act like you’re not shallowed up in shame, 
covered in hate, and drowning in sadness.
Some days are good, though, when you choose not to think.
What was it that you even call “what was”?
Many amazing moments sinking into poison.   
Some true smiles, some true days of pure happiness, 
yet bitterness and pride has filled their place.
You ask yourself, “Why can’t I let go?”
And in response, no one really knows.
But you just have to because what was isn’t anymore,
It isn’t real any longer, 
It doesn’t exist.
What was is just a bunch of memories that, really are just heartaches.


Details | Free verse | |

The Dark Season

The dark season of cold, pallid vastness
Has not broken the tenacity
Of the first snow fall
Heralding the purity of the colorless
And the aroma of burning pine

This opaque mood I am in
Rejoices for the dark season
Yellow and brown ochre highlights
Burnt umber trees of plasticine 
Molded by the hands of nature

In my mind, I am alone in this one-way reality
And yet, I delight for the dark season
If I could share this sensation, I would not
For it’s the prelude to a poem
About a cold and distant soul


Details | Free verse | |

Finding Letitia

As we wade our path through the forest green,
Wafting scents mixed sweet and earthy,
Clung sticky to our nostrils.
Skipping boldly over rocks and stream,
As the eager sun began to pull our cheeks,
We giggled and yelped in tune,
To the feverish chirping that filled our ears.
We both, young boys, in excited form,
With sticks to smash and stones to skip,
Bounced through the bush - then spied a girl,
In a bright dress of sunflowers blooming,
Squatting by the water's edge.

She cast a trance-like look across the lake,
No mimic animated her placid face,
With no spark of recognition of our being there.
We, still inspecting, hesitant in our youth,
Were uncertain of the words to greet the child.
A cautious approach - although not out of fear,
We stepped towards the figure bending down,
Now moving automatic hands towards her face.
"what is wrong?" we asked, "what are you doing here?"
A silent pause that let the woodlands speak,
We then saw tears begin to trace down cheeks,
She answered plainly so: "I am Letitia and I must wash"


Details | Free verse | |

I have spoken to the wind

I have spoken to the wind 
And in its whisperings 
Has brought me back to wheat fields
Swaying and buffeting against a ruby sky.
The blood red moon silent in its doom
And the faint taste of winter in the air.

Harvest has always been
The most depressing time,
Where life is finally subdued
To meet the needs of the living.
The calvary of the seasons
Where nature dies to resurrect itself again.

So it was with you who fled but never left,
Oblivious to every danger
But in constant peril, living 
A life against the yolk of freedom.
Trying to be what you could never be.
Unwilling to see a world that was different
From what you thought should be
You left us long before you went away
I saw it in your eyes,you could not stay.












Details | Free verse | |

Lay OFF of Me

You are under his roof now...
Deny it not
You are his own comforter
Lay off of me, you stubborn child -
LEAVE ME!!
You feel perfect
When he's near...
When I appear...
You draw back in fear...
You are his property now
It's SO true - 
You are a selfish, little liar 
You burn me like flames 
You called me nasty names
Your image transformed to shame 
You witch!
I was caught under your spell...
You dwell...
IN DARKNESS...
Down you go in the abyss
You are so insidious....
Frankly, you've done enough damage
While I tried my hardest to break free
From the bondage 

You dwell in the shadows 
With the predator...
Lay off of me,

YOU total disaster

Obey your master - 
the devil...




Details | Free verse | |

Midnight Memory

Midnight, darkness all around,
As I stare down a lonely, lonely road.

A shadow, a ghost, took me by surprise,
I know my life to him I have owed.

I looked into his haunted, haunted eyes,
And saw the pain as the wind died down.

The shadow moved slowly across the ground,
Outside of the small town.

He said, "Friend, it's good to see you,
It's nice to know you care."

Then the wind picked up and he was gone,
I'm not sure if he was ever really there.

When the wind is right, hear his song,
Feel the pain, the sadness in the air.

When the stars light up the purple sky,
I feel that lonesome chill.

Every night I hear him sing,
And the whistle of a midnight train, and still,

It hurts more and more each time.
My regret is that I never did care,

Until I lost him, lost him in the wind,
But at midnight he's always singing there.


Details | Free verse | |

Mary sits alone and cries

Mary sits alone and cries
At a table, empty and wide.
Remembers a time, laughter and talk.
Were the things to make her spirit sing.

Remembers those things we will never know,
The first smile, the first kiss
The word of love, so long ago
The precious son she held so close.

Now she sits and cries,
And often asks the reason why,
Why did you give, him then take him away
For a world full of sin and woe.

But as she walks to a sad dark tomb 
She meets an angel who said “do not fear”,
He’s no longer there. He is alive 

Now there’s rejoicing in her heart,
Now she knows the reason why,
Jesus died to set them free,
And gave his spirit eternally.


Details | Free verse | |

The Consoler

So now what?
What do I do now?
I feel… empty.
Like… like something disgusting crawled inside me
And ate all my insides.
…Ate my soul.
Ugh, I feel horrible!
I know, I know… people are tired of me.
Tired of how I complain,
Or rather… the lack of my complaining.
I sit and think all the time. 
Staring off into space.
It’s just… I feel safe there.
Safe in my mind…
But I’m not safe.
I’m far from it!
I’m stuck in a world of depression…
And no one cares.
They just want me to get over it!
But I can’t!
I hate it!
I hate how they look at me,
Like I’m crazy or something!
It hurts… it hurts so much.
They don’t understand…
All I want… is to be held.
For someone, Anyone,
To hold me in their arms… just for a moment.
To tell me it’s okay and that they’ll be there.
But no one does.
It hurts because…
Because I’m the consoler, never the consoled.
I go to others to help them,
But no one comes to help me.
I feel… trapped.
Trapped between wanting to cry and scream,
And wanting to smile and be done with it.
But… what can be done?
Life goes on and I must continue my work – to console.
This is the price I have to pay.
Everyone comes to me with their burdens and lays them on me,
But they don’t see that they are drowning me.
Oh well… I will continue with this task that I have been given,
And I will continue to carry others burdens – 
Until the day I mentally can take no more or until… I die.


Details | Free verse | |

Too Much For One

You love with your heart
And you feel with your heart
Maybe that’s too much for one heart to do
Maybe that’s why I can’t love you

And I heard you so well
When you stood at my heart’s focal point
Where your words still resonate
And my hearts breaks


Details | Free verse | |

walking in the rain

She hears the chug a chug of the moving bus
Watches as the raindrops fall easy onto glass
Such a long despair she sprouts out of the bus
Her heart is tight eyes the color of blown glass
from the deepest depths a song sings
lamenting in a circle of one soul l
in the pain of reality a bell sings
pulling on the cords ding ding from the soul


Details | Free verse | |

Only on your terms


You came to me
with arms open,
cathedrals of hope
enclosing me in their
warm embrace,
when you thought
it was necessary
to keep me still.

You came to me,
with strings of hearts
balanced perfectly
on your tongue
when you thought it was
something I needed
to see to make me
bloom open for you.

You came to me,
admission-less, when
my legs were spread,
my tongue was ready,
my head was back,
and yes formed easy
deep in the back
of my throat.

But,
when I was nothing more
than a fetal position,
crawling on bathroom floors,
screaming for what was lost,
when I was stained with grief,
and I began to stumble, yearly,
through gardens of tears,

you were a sun turned cold,
burning me with your
absence of light.


Details | Free verse | |

Almost Lovers

Almost Lovers
Now, loveless romantics
Loveless
With only sadness in our eyes
A fresh new hole 
In our hearts
Without each other
Being by each other’s side

I am trying not to think about you
Though images of you 
Still haunt me
Flooding, my mind
I hear the sound of your voice
Echo through the air
I see you ‘smile’
I can smell you, everywhere!

And when I watch the stars
Light up the sky at night
When I stroll the streets
Without you by my side
I watch lovers enjoy each other’s company
Reminiscing about ‘you’

Almost lover 
I still feel the beating of our two hearts
Becoming One
Even though you are gone
Goodbye, almost lover
Thank you for making my heart warm!


Details | Free verse | |

Dreary All Day Long

You’re so far away
I’m on my own... I am so alone.
You’re the dawn of the day
I’m taking wing on my own... I am so forlorn.
 
Which route should I pick?
When I’m silhouetted in loneliness?
Which road should I drive?
When I’m enclosed in dreariness?  

You've pushed me to the ground
I'm sick of the lack of love...
You're no where to be found...
I'm taking my first flight...like a 
baby, ravishing dove.

Which direction do I turn to? 
When I'm bewildered and scared?
You're the sunset with the hues of 
Red, yellow, orange and blue
I'm dreary all day long - I'm most certainly...
Unprepared. 
And worn-out by the worries of this week
At least I get the evening to myself...
But... I still feel weak...
The bad news that you sent me
Made me feel 
Bleak...


Details | Free verse | |

Savior

Oh Savior of mine let your heart beat fast for today shall be our last.
Cast away the bad times only think about the good.
Everything we did and everything we should.
Who could take me away from you? Only I.
And who could take you away from me? Only he who lies.
My only one lover, my true lover I surpass, but there is still the pain of broken glass which tears the joy from within me.
For deception has unveiled itself like a deep dark well of sadness it has poured over me.
For only a liar could tear us apart and that liar is you.
Who knew that like a fire your desires have burned up inside like mine that I had for you, but I let them die.
But the ashes will forever remain, though my heart can not repair the pain.
However your heart will remain the same for it knows no such thing.
Oh Savior you saved me once...but now you have abandon me.  


Details | Free verse | |

Grasp

Face to face
with harsh realities.
Have to wonder,
what is there to fight for?
Can't catch my breath,
as everything catches up.
Am I alone?

Trying to hold on,
after getting lost
so many times.
Living on the edge
doomed to darkness
and despair.
It feels like,
there's nothing left.
A small noise of hope,
it rang out.
But it's out of grasp...
(September 20th, 2012)


Details | Free verse | |

Diet Coke

She likes the taste of tears in her diet coke

on the sweetest day of defeat

They slide down her cheeks and into

her open can as she sips

Tasting her pain as if it was the first time

knowing it wont be the last

The carbonation almost hides the salty

treat but she knows theyre there

She likes the taste of tears in her diet coke

on the loneliest day of her life

As they slide down her cheeks and into

her open can as she sips

Tasting the loneliness as if it was the first time

knowing it wont be the last

The sugar almost hides the salty

treat but she knows theyre there

She likes the taste of tears in her diet coke

just like a masochist likes pain

And those beautiful smiles she fakes

hides those salty treats

that find theyre way in to her diet coke


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Alas! I am lost in this darkness of night
Where is the virgin moon to grant me its purity?
The fireflies of night to guide me?
All I see is the darkness that embraced me
And the black shadows walking around
I am struggling to move around in this darkness
Sometimes I stumble over obstacles
I can’t identify these collapsed entities
As I am blinded by the darkness
I shout for help but get no response
The shadows floats past by me 
Like soulless and cold ghosts 
The entire domain is hushed
No! I am mistaken for I receive something
Several feeble sounds of cries and mourning? 
Terror gathers upon me
I can’t realize the act but just hear
For darkness has blindfolded me


I kneel down upon my wounded knees
To plead to Thee for guidance
Maybe a helping hand
Or a light to reveal the way
Oh! Father please guide me! 
I am lost in this darkness of night!


Details | Free verse | |

Suffering

Unhinged and hidden in the dark, Her tormented flesh aches as the burn from the light shreds through her very being, The shadows engulfing her heart, Surrendering to the black abyss, Laying awake pondering her very life as it still beats among the living with the thought of death holding her hand.


Details | Free verse | |

On Veterans Day

He is an old Vet now, weighed down by the years.
He walks slowly with a limp, and has grey hair, eye glasses and hearing aids.

Ah, but there once was a day when he was young and strong.
A day when he raised his hand and swore to support the Constitution and protect 
the people.
A day he stood erect, proudly wore his uniform and gave crisp salutes.
A day he shook his fathers hand, kissed his mother goodbye and went off to war.

A day he stood firmly and bravely against aggressive foes and did not falter.
A day he saw things a young man should not have to see.
A day he did things a young man should not have to do.
And day he wept over the graves of his fallen comrades.

Yes he remembers all these things.
He stands as the flag passes by in the parade and he salutes it as he has done many times before...
And he remembers.


Details | Free verse | |

The Never Ending Night

The Never Ending Night

There is a place we go
Where we cannot find light
Our eyes adjusted
To our own twisted Plight
We hide in places
Live with fright
Within this never-ending night
We roam
We seek
In search of light
Mind to fucked to speak
Within his never-ending night
We reach our hands up high
Seeking comfort from imaginary hands
We find nothing
Only the pain
Which never went away
No end in sight
Within this never-ending night
Scream all you want
No one will hear
Reality is no one is there
I seek
Until my knees are weak
Reality setting in
I have traveled nowhere
Trapped within
My suffocating box
I am in this never-ending night
A feeble prayer
To a God who was never there
The time has come
Within this box
My mind rots
No air
No light
No hope
Only madness
Brought on from my never-ending night
My cold dark stare
Nothing is something
Better
Than living in my never-ending night
In my hands
I hold the key
My only freedom
Only escape
From my never-ending night
One blissful pull
I enter into the light


By: Tim Lundmark


Details | Free verse | |

Fate

Venom laced words
Is all the world
Feeds the weak
But I can taste the brutal decay
Of all the slain souls
Now buried in the deep
Look through the eyes of the Taken
You will see this tainted world
You will see you’re mistaken
Those are not happy tears
They are laced with blood
No one feels a thing
They have all gone cold
And gone numb
You feast your eyes
On a beautiful Shamrock Shore
But instead I see waves of black
Swimming along are the snakes of wrath
Those sweet little lullabies
Causing you to sleep
They wake up the Demons
You are their feast
When will you stop?
Looking through the eyes of faith
Take a look through my eyes and see
Those born of innocence...
Their true damned Fate


Details | Free verse | |

Abusive Love

Cold case lover, how I loved you so!
You always mattered
But, you never believed me!
You were my every desire
You were everything to me!
Looking through your eyes
Jaded with jealousy and envy
You laid your hands upon me
Acting out your emotional
And bitter pain
“Why were you so mean spirited?"
“Who messed with your mind?"
How can you kneel before me, now
Pleading me to forgive you
As, you bawl your eyes out

Your relentless begging
Over and over
You keep playing mind games, with me!
Begging me, for mercy
To come back,
One, last, time...

With my swollen eyes
Broken bones
Twisted up, insides
My heart is torn!
“Are you a dead man walking?"
“Do you not ‘feel’ no more”?
Will I get to see tomorrow’s sunrise
If, I stay another day with you...

Playing Russian roulette with my life
I am terrified, I am petrified!
My eyes are blind
My heart too forgiving!
But, I am not leaving.

“Will I become a cold case murder, one day?"
I wonder...
At the hands, of my own stupidity!
“What will you do on that day, dear lover?"
“Will you lie and be deceitful?"
“Will you hide things?"
Just like, you did from me!

Will, you ‘vow’ devotedly
You did it all in the name of ‘Love?'
Will you brag about
Your ‘bitter, sweet victory?
Open wounds
Bleeding soul
Release me free
From this man’s betrayal!


Details | Free verse | |

I Want Her Near

In the crisp dawn
I meet her gaze
I see the loneliness there
Insidious and unforgiving

I love
She knows
But the world still grinds a space between
My own sick mind fuels her despair and I wonder if I am man enough to save her life

The memory of a blade on soft skin
The horror of her being ripped from my life
It haunts me
It haunts her

It haunts

Will we ever be the same
Or will tragedy bring this fire of love and lust to a raging blaze
Or will I stand alone at a funeral pyre
Wanting her near
But watching her drift away
Dispirit dancing amongst the flames of my lost love

I fear
This loss would be too great to bare
It would break me
and leave me wanting

She is more than a woman
She is life
She is light
She is lust and love and hate and anger
She is everything to me

And she is drifting away

The morning light shines on her wonderful face
I hope it will continue
Forever
I want her near


Details | Free verse | |

Your eyes across my soul

Its time to face the truth croons the singer on the radio and I die
Curling up in to a ball pulling my hair out and screaming
Because I know this to be true
I will be there again when it snows and snows
I will be there again if you call
I will be there again if you whisper out my name
In the eyes of my memories you're beautiful
In the breaths I stole with my camera you're beautiful
Across these lips that will never touch yours again you're beautiful

I thought I heard you call out my name tonight 
But I knew you weren't home
In the cold under the city lights beneath the blanket of night
What if it was you I think now as I linger
But you weren't home
And still... 
I wish I had turned around
To see you standing there in the gently falling snow
But I thought you weren't home

I have lost sleep tonight and I may never sleep again I fear
Because I don't know what to do
I don't know where to turn, where to go
So that I may, I might, 
Dream of your smile and your eyes across my soul
You're so beautiful, 

I let slip this pen from my fingers
Staining these last few lines I know it to be true
And I don't really care about that now
I will never be with you I know, I know... 

And this is the truth I must learn to face


Details | Free verse | |

Better Without

Better Without
 
I try so hard 
Not to become my fathers son
I try so hard
To be a father sculpted by Michelangelo
Painted by da Vinci
Faced with failure
Endless denial
Self deception  
To deny the truth
I am a father designed by an earless madman
I question are they better without

Trapped in a Divine Comedy
Inferno is Alpha and Omega
I wish there was a cure
Sadness filled with madness
Meds cannot take away
A brain still in pain
How do you apologize
  When the illness lets them down
The more I write
The clearer it becomes
They may be better without

They love the mania
Hate the downs
Flick the switch
From mania to a ditch
Turning from this to that
They never know which dad I’ll be
Denying them the comfort of stability
Please don’t let them be better without

What am I then?
A cancer to my family
They know I am sick
They know daddy isn't the same
Wishing he was someone else
Transparent they see what’s inside
They hate my illness
Hating myself
That shame and stain forever remains 
They now question are they better without

Face-to-face with this question
Like a coward I hide
In denial 
My blanket of lies
I am their painting of a father
A father my son doesn't want to become
The question has been answered
They are better without
  

By: Tim Lundmark


Details | Free verse | |

A Mad Gypsying On

i wonder if those cackling coyotes

hiking the surrounding fields sound

anything like Hell, well, i sure hope not.

Hell would be a terrible place to be.

 

still, i feel and fill with remorse.

it’s the middle of November and

it’s ruthless Ohio with her revenge.

with the love of fall beneath her

and the sparkling of frost in her hair,

beginning in the morning under a

fingernail clipped moon and too

far away stars and few headlights,

ohio offers her lullaby here, now.

 

scraggly pups made of fur and bone,

calloused paws to a calloused ground,

tough like old brick and new cement

and an icy pitch bark that bites back.

 

people are being pulled from these

pages that used to keep me wide awake

but now only keep me sad and conscience

in the too broad daylight in clean clothes

reading things too keep me soul sick,

to correlate with groggy afternoon insanity

that is not like tonight’s cold but like a

burning city, with me, standing—waiting

at the pier with the commotion of some

kind of humanity bleeding from the parks,

avenues, alleys, clubs, bars, and markets

but i only see the smoke and hear the clamor.

 

the rest is made up i suppose,

and my heart in the other senses.

 

but it is too true for those

coyotes in that cold and

i dare not let them in.


Details | Free verse | |

Rejected Departure: Tragedy's Sting

V.4 ( BRIDGE #1 & CHORUS C; ) : You left me without a trace I discard the feelings of anguish – feeling so unsure…my sorrow weighs a pound – (where have you been x3 for so long…feeling like an incomplete, cheerless love song all along) What should I do? What now? Tell me now… Somehow, I feel so gravity-bound…I’m lost & never found…frankly, (I’m feeling grief-stricken x3 for oh so long…feeling like I don’t belong…feeling so wrong) CHORUS: I will squander my time now and forever (sarcasm: Are you an evil, fallen angel?) Until I meet you eye to eye again Our departure came to soon…our future’s a blur Oh you must be a sweet, beautiful angel – Come on & get out of the lion’s den! Release me…I need to let go… Believe in me…reflect on me… Release me…let me go with the flow Let me grow and see…the light at the end of the tunnel There’s other fish in the sea… V.5 (BRIDGE #2): You made me feel this disdainful distress…this high stress…I’m in an emotional mess (All alone, all along) x4 You make me feel like a total disgrace…I’m a song without rhyme (All alone, all along) x4 I’m not lying – you kicked me in the face…but I’m makin’ slow progress (I’m on my own, but not alone) x4 When I was trying to beat the race…trying to make use of my time (I’m on my own, but not alone) x4 [End of song xD]: I’m getting used to being taking for granite… But, I hate it so much…all I do is throw a childish fit I’m hanging by the last string ~ I loathe tragedy and its sting ~ ~!@#$%^&*()_+=-)(*&^%$#@!`~


Details | Free verse | |

more to love

there must be more
to love than pain
though i'm far more familiar
with chaos and uncertainty

is it any wonder
i'm attracted to you
who can not give me
what i long for most of all

the day i won't need you 
anymore is when i can believe 
it's no longer worth 
the trouble winning you

it's not enough to love someone-
you ought to get love back 



Details | Free verse | |

Timeless Love

To the one I love.
I'll say this...our time together was short but you will be missed.
Forever I will cherish our one and only kiss.
Your happiness and bliss I'll never forget.
The moments we spent together  were timeless.
But all good things must come to be  silenced.
Although it seems like it had just began.
My friend, my lover all this you be.
I will not fee to another, but over you I will ponder and rain open you White Thunder.
And all will wonder why does she cry?
The answer lies deep inside passed my eyes and skin so faint.
To deeply  scarred  to  appreciate, and to heavy guarded  to escape.
  


Details | Free verse | |

Open Fantasy

Tired, exhausted working 2, 3 sometimes 4 jobs 
 Is what mama had to do to keep a roof over our heads 
Raised by brothers and sisters never seen mothers face 
 Was what i had to go throught on a daily base
To think mama had to do it on her own 
 Why because you were behind bars with a foggie mirrow and a bed 
Given everything you needed clouths, food and more 
 Never had to work to survive behind those silver doors 
You though we lived in paradise but in truth we were on the road to the after life 
 In my eyes the world was nothing but endless darkness 
And my escape was my emotions being spilled on a page that was ment for you
 To believe the girt i recieved from you was a knife plunged into my back
At that moment in time my wolrd came tumbling down
 Shattered into a million peices that will never be found
Can't believe i let my self be fouled into thinking your a fantastic dad
 But in thruth your only a clown 
A joke that's what you are a child stuck in a 50 year old man 
 The mask you've worn for so many years has finally sunck so deep it made you blind
You can't see your choices and mistakes are what make your binds 
 You went so low to take mama's life 
Why because she wanted out of the marriage and you out of her life 
 I remeber the day as though it were yesterday images replaying itself just by your name 
You banging on the door to let you in 
 Saying if we dont today will be are end 
That was the first time i seen big sister so scared 
 Crying and screaming with all her might for help 
That was torture to bear 
 Looking into mama's eyes there was nothing but fear
Not for herself but her children who were there 
 Crying there eyes out and screaming for there mothers help 
To think the man i once called father  the one who gave me life 
 Who told me multiple times he'd always be there is my greatest fear 
Everyday before i walk out the door of my house 
 I close my eyes lift my hands and pray to the lord 
Hoping he'd bring back the gently kind man that i held so dear 
 But iknow in my Mind and in my Heart it's 
    only and Open Fantasy


Details | Free verse | |

Lost and Delirious

To love someone
So much
That you'd do anything
Fight,kill,surrender
Betray for just one more
Touch,sight,taste
Crave them now
Tomorrow & further more 
Into the future 
& wen all is gone
You break
Become self destructive
Nothing matters
No person
No thing
No fantasy
No dream
No soul
Just them
Every bone
Flesh & organs
Blood flow,all non existent
Heart couldn't be anymore 
broken
To the point of feeling 
Like you never had one
ANGER DEPRESSION 
SADDENED
GRIEF SORROW
It's all you know
Wishing every second
To have that loved one
Back into your life
But forth cometh not
Self destruct


Details | Free verse | |

Unsaid

What do you do
When words left unsaid
Are buried
Deep
Deep within ur head

What do you do
When your closely guarded
World decides to 
crash and burn

What do you do
When dependence 
becomes addiction 
And is set on fire
A detox so brutal
No one left to admire

Pro's and con's
They say you use
To sort out
What's happening within you
And what to do
When you start breaking in two

To leave?
Because you can't keep up
Because you're not perfect enough
Because so much hatred within
Started to spill out

To stay?
Because a promise was made
Because a bond was formed
Because you invested so much
You're afraid of what will remain
After a choice is made

Its seems all you've been doing
Is putting off the inevitable happenings
Locking them away
In Pandora's box of dismay

Waiting carefully 
behind your shield
Waiting fearfully 
for them to be revealed

In a thought wrecked mind
A plan so confused
Not even the maker could use

How to start
How to end
A short story
Of what was supposed 
to be life long friends

Naivety so blinded
That even the most rational mind
Was left dumbfounded

Con's weighed up more
And a decision was made
To finally settle the score
With cold heart
Left when words unsaid
Became angry bats within

The final letter was written
Ultimatum was made
Now we wait
Wait and see
Who will stand up
For a bond left in the dust.


Details | Free verse | |

Emotional Disaster

Stand back...
I hide behind this exterior
The smiles and
laughter
Lock away my feelings
Agony,
No one knows the real me
Escape to my reality
The music that plays in my head
Nature pulls me in,deep
Only god knows
Who understands?
This masked pain
No one sees the tears
No one feels the hurt
I'm an emotional wreck
50 feet I need
Please stand back...
Never had trust
Remorse for myself
No pity
No apologies
Or lies
"I've been trying
Trying,
To hold my head up high
I've been lying
Lying,
Keeping it all inside
Trying not to trust you, yeah
Take another leaf,
I'm a book yeah
yeah"-Cher Lloyd


Details | Free verse | |

Lonely Girl

Standing still in a room to be filled, Leaning on an ever lasting hope, Stricken with horror her faith shatters, Slipping away into disorder, Screams of demoralizing anger awaken her pure hate as she stirs the aggression at the edge of the cliff, Each soul below her in this pit of demise reaches to grasp her render-less mind, Inhaling deep breaths of tainted air, Like rusted nails it slices into each muscle, Her eyes cringing in pain as she bleeds tears, She embraces her shadow one whisper at a time looking across the divide of death and demise, Her shoulder blades crack in despair, Screeching from fear her flesh begins to tear, Wings of faded rage rip out from her being, With a swoop of her spread she sores high, Gliding gracefully across her own kind leaving no sorrow behind...Her end...her time.....the last of her breath, her very death.


Details | Free verse | |

Vacuity

Sinking deep and deeper still
Feelings of weakness becoming my will
In search of answers
To questions I'm too afraid to ask
I look to the future
But can only see the past

Such a strong connection
Or so it once had seemed
But you grew too impatient
To let me catch up to speed

Out of breath
I stopped to rest
And without even noticing
You kept right on going

Suddenly the abandoned
I pined for you, my companion
Satisfaction turned to sadness
My hopes trampled and flattened
I stayed here waiting for you to return
I waited and waited 
And endlessly yearned

Alone I sat in my place of repose
Wondering where all the years 
continued to go
I waited so long 
I became part of the scenery
Blending into the background
It's as if no one really sees me

And as each eternal moment
Fades into the next
I long for you, I long for your love
And sometimes I long for death

It would have to be better than knowing
You could so easily leave me behind
Without even telling me you were going
And giving me a chance to say goodbye


Details | Free verse | |

Sinking

Slowly, slowly we’re slipping away.
We’re losing sight of who we are together, 
of what we can be.
We’re losing each other.
No matter how hard we try, it doesn’t stop. 
This ship we’ve built up for so long is sinking to the bottom of a deep and dark, cold abyss. 
The truth is, we’ve been in this sinking ship for a long time.
We keep hoping that all the holes can be patched and they eventually do get just that, patched. 
A little cover over all the pain and depressions in our small ship.
But the patches don’t last, 
no, 
soon they fall off and deteriorate as if the problem was never resolved.
Before we know it, 
we start becoming submerged in the icy water of what is the end.
And there’s no way to stop it.
We can’t pretend like the demise of us isn’t knocking at our door. 
We can’t act like everything is okay, 
put on a brave face, and smile.
No, we can’t because everything isn’t okay and the demise is indeed standing at our door. 
Love isn’t enough anymore to keep this ship afloat. 
We try and try and try and we constantly fail and fail and fail.
It doesn’t matter how much we want this to work out,
how much we want for us to succeed.
We can’t push something that doesn’t exist anymore.
Do we even know how to be together anymore?
How to act around each other?
Do we even care if it ends?
You say, “We both have to overcome our fears for this to work out.” 
Yet, everyday it’s a constant marathon of trials and tribulations on our relationship.
Everyday it’s the same thing, 
it’s never different. 
In reality, we’ve grown apart and we’re trying to fit together fragments of what was.
Those last couple of weeks that we were together did destroy what was, 
what could've been, 
and what could be now.
So we’re slowly, slowly sinking.


Details | Free verse | |

A small amount of Chaos

Will the erratic nature of my thoughts never be quelled?
Am I doomed to long for what I do?
Is this the outcome to never having what you want?
If it is...I suppose I should have expected as much
Nay, I knew what would happen
But I chose to accept it
To Endure It
The choice was mine alone
All of Them
For Better or Worse
They were made
I live with them
Being all I can Do
But...perhaps there is a possibility
Although, I know what it is a I am thinking
False Hope to keep my spirits up when they should not be


Details | Free verse | |

Sometimes I walk and feel no heat

Sometimes I walk and feel no heat 
Nor rain nor wind nor sea
That rolls its tumbling waves
Against my brain
But only taste the salt upon my lips
From waves upon my face
That rolls against my cheeks.
I see the gates are closed,
How I dread such gates
That can be closed so tight
I have pounded them each night.
Blood of my blood
You are gone from me
And I am helpless in your wake
I am sundered by your loss
You who of your mothers face
Brought out the only light in me
From barren wastes you came to me
But now I am returning back
Where moonbeams shed no light
To rage against the innocence
Of what is left
To count my losses
And what is lost to me.








Details | Free verse | |

the sweeter the bitter

THE SWEETER, THE BITTER
The sweeter the bitter, the bitter the sweeter;
There is nothing like a free lunch, the sweeter the bitter
Lift me high so you can pull me down, the sweeter the bitter
Only my loved ones can hurt me, the sweeter the bitter
You sing only sweet melodies to entice me not knowing you are luring friendily to win me and satisfy your secret but wicked ambitions, the sweeter the bitter
I have fought so hard for you so if you can’t praise me, don’t shame me
The sweeter the bitter
Inside the gun is complete darkness but a bullet remains harmless until it sees a little light
Bigger baits attract worthy fishes. The sweeter the bitter
Why has a whole brain been reduced to a common sweet? The sweeter the bitter
In times of light I bloom, so you hold me tight and look at me in the eyes saying “you are simply the best”
Now there is darkness which has covered even the whitest snow, yes I am doomed  but stop telling serpent that I am the worst. The sweeter the bitter
Please tell me just one thing in this world that is always sweet but never bitter, the sweeter the bitter
No pain means no gain, the more you build the more you destroy, for perfect peace we should wage tougher wars the sweeter the bitter
Bear the pains to live death will soon embrace you, crown you, honour you and reveal all your hidden achievements. The dead enjoys more than the living the sweeter the bitter
The closer the light the hotter it becomes
Gaining one friend brings you more than one enemy
Sugar is sweet but could be very dangerous the sweeter the bitter
How I was born is not how I will die the sweeter the bitter
You have done things so great in the world but why do you bother to see the end of the sea
When you do anything possible to start your living just be wise death will certainly drag you and end the living the sweeter the bitter
To enjoy every bit of peace we must tolerate every bit of bitterness
Democracy, election and good governance are all sweet why then do we turn them bitter
The sweeter the bitter
Ironically you are for the nation but your selfish desires scatters the whole nation the sweeter the bitter
A word to the wise they say is enough; this is sweet but very bitter. So I say the sweeter the bitter.
                                                                     By    GODFRED K.B.ADJEI
                   tel:0270800513,email:gak_brant@yahoo.com
            facebook:GODFRED KB ADJEI
                                                                       


Details | Free verse | |

Why Love Never Again

            Why Love Never Again

Tears reach into my heart and pull me down to fever
Raw feelings cause trembling reaching
It starts within the bones of marrow emptiness
I draw back my bow with fire from my soul to tip
Release the arrow in the quicksand that has become me
And send my sweet love off
Just off the shore in a little funeral raft of straw and wood
Incendiary baron world surrounds us 
With lighted flame to burn my loves last being
Last remains, remnants of a passion that brings me lower
Sorrow no man needs to know
She burns down then sinks beneath the somber waves
Gray are the ashes floating with all lost hope
Caused from some disease that caused this fracturous unfolding
A bringing of this horrible grief I call my own  
I call it mine to the end of time and cry
As she burns in dawn of day
God gave me eyes to watch her slowly go
I just don’t know why life so beautiful must end
Why love why never again
I let her go
  


Details | Free verse | |

Lone Wolf

In the darkness my resistance stays strong, Underneath this blanket of stars my hate resides, The wolf inside eats away at the fear, Silently my breath speaks violent words of pain, Stricken is my soul bound to this body, Trapped in this empty abyss we call earth, This is my life of torture, Deep within a spirit lingers, Crying to the demon caged in the dark, Forced to lead a life of loneliness, Sorting out my own problems in the corner of my mind, Temptations of Death knocking at the doors...Feel the wrath of hate on my inside!!


Details | Free verse | |

Innocence in a Dream

Laying on this angled hill watching the sun set, It's rays of light reaching out to grasp the earth as it fades, Each beam of it hits one star at a time brightening it till the sun is gone for the night has come, As I look up each stalk of grass beneath me dampens with dew soaking my clothes, A soft breeze blows cool air around me chilling my skin an raising the hairs on my neck and arms, The stars above me sparkle with radiance each of its own size and color, My eyes weigh heavy tonight closing slowly in time with whispers from the wind and a blanket of stars on me I rest, Darkness folds me in its arms squeezing me into dreamland, Blurry visions of him dance around fading in and out to and fro I reach for him..then he's gone, White static around me in the distance it appears..this dark hole lay before me I render stoned and still, No way to run, It comes closer to me bigger and bigger each distance it breaks, I'm sucked in and thrown out, I sit on a swing barely dangling from a tree..looking around there's no one but me and this deviant deer, Playing in a meadow it prances about..stopping in its tracks its frozen in fear something linger very near, As I look to see its terror a wolf-ling and its mother trade glances of hunger, The little deer runs away..yet toward me it runs with mother and wolf-ling at its rear all but splatters of blood on me disappear, Waking from a dream so weird a bit of innocence creeps away on the wind as a small flower pedal softly lands on my hand, Each dream of its own every person unique may my life be plentiful, bountiful, and serene.


Details | Free verse | |

8 years

8 years....8 years was all it took.....to make this look....from hopeless dreams to this open book of me, 4 walls that hold me still....from being ill i prey, 1 window pane that shows me more than imagined...my breath upon it's window......I'll still stand at its side no matter how far I stride....the world outside keeps on calling me and telling me I'll be there some day....the breeze wants to play....prancing so gay and free, Someone will help me, lead me, an take care of me with no dismay I prey...my life in a box with one window pane.....I'll show the world my soul without pain or disarray, you'll see one day...ill escape from this hidden boundary that has held onto me so long, these 4 walls will no longer be bound to me...the illusion will fall the day my hand can touch its window I prey.....that day......that day its glass will shatter at the warmth of such a soul like mine......until then, i linger here...4 walls still bard me in for future years to lock this princess in her tower for the future does not know of what it brings.........8 years...............8 years was all it took, to tame this lion of her pride to pull her away from the love of being outside.


Details | Free verse | |

Broken Dolls

Broken Dolls

Broken dolls destined to walk alone
A journey under the loveless moon
His sinister intention is to shine too bright
Blinding broken dolls by his light
Dreadfully alone wondering the night

Broken dolls from broken homes
Build broken homes of their own
Homes brining in the rays of loveless light
Revealing the pieces of their broken hearts
Fated to break loved ones hearts along the way
New broken dolls introduced to the lonely night

Broken toys for broken boys
Brings broken dreams void of joy
Broken dolls dreaming with fractured minds
Realities scars, damaged beyond repair
Within his mind he can only see the place
Where sinister moons light voided space

Broken dolls hidden in the trash
Away from loveless rays on loveless nights
The sinister moon and his lonely trails
Finally freed from the loveless grasp
But not before leaving tear stained paths
So all the dolls you broke can find the trash

Broken dolls are meant to walk alone
No more broken children left at home
The loveless nights, the sinister moon
Guaranteeing we will break real soon
Within the sunlight’s hopeful mist
Broken dolls will not be missed

By: Tim Lundmark


Details | Free verse | |

feeling

I have this weird feeling
a feeling i cant explain
lately ive been wondering
am i still waiting in vain?

i tried to figure out
what this feeling is called
what it is about
and why im feeling cold

suddenly it came to me
then it really hit me hard
this is no blasphemy,
i was just caught off guard

and yes, now i understand
this feeling that i have
did not come from disneyland
neither is it love. 

its the feeling of sadness
a feeling i dont know
until it took my happiness
and left me nothing but sorrow.. 






Details | Free verse | |

What the Eyes Cannot See


Kyoko walks alone in the morning tide, 
comforted for a fleeting moment by salty air.
She feels the same sand between her toes 
as when she was a barefoot little girl, in a time
she felt safe, when the eyes of her mother protected her 
like a suit of armor - before the mighty wall of water, 
the “harbor wave”, towered over her village 
near Fukushima, washing her happy childhood away. 
Her dear mother, her security, her everything
never came home that day. 

Many months later, her father, a local fisherman, 
has lost his ability to cry, laugh or tell her why.
His silent eyes, cold like frost, are dead 
like the poisoned fish he nets every morning. 
In many ways, Kyoko lost both of her parents 
on that haunting day - forced to grow up long before 
the water receded, before the nuclear leak, 
before this new, austere existence.

Night deepens the despair. She is loneliest 
when darkness invades. She prays for the crickets 
return. They no longer sing her to sleep, and the stars
have faded, no longer shining through her open window.
Even the grasshoppers have died…
from restless sleep, night calls her to the mirror 
to find her mother’s dark eyes staring back at her – 
a curse she hopes will one day become a blessing,
a hope that one day her father will look at her again...

With tomorrow, her greatest burden will return. 
She will wake along side the broken-winged butterfly
with her duties in mind. Then, she’ll wear her stoic face 
to the marketplace. Father says he will soon lose 
his fishing boat. She has heard visitors from the city say 
only a fool would eat the fish from nearby waters, 
the same fish she fries most every day. No one knows
the global impact, they say. She hears foreign words
like radiation, disease and mutation while she sells 
the shiso and wasabi root from their garden stand,
feeling fear she does not fully understand but one day will.
She only knows how to survive today…


For Debbie Guzzi's Global Poetry Contest, 11/19/14      


Details | Free verse | |

Christmas at Christchurch

I feel translucent 
	a man of marble skin 
	as if dreaming my motions 
	every step a tread in water
	each reach of my hand 
	a ghost grip touches 
	but nothing holds and yet 
	I clutch these stones and 
	iron spear barricades 
	as a sea-snail would the bedrock 
	for this is my folly 
	to hug close the masonry of charity 

	I feel nothing 
	no remorse runs down my arms 
	to my useless wrists 
	no rage 
	twists my mouth into rabid snarl 
	no pleasure lifts my face 
	from the footfalls 
	of those celestial beings 
	bustling above

	not even a soaked black wall 
	on which I am a shadow 
	penetrates my deadened hide 

	I feel grotesque 
	I am a gargoyle of flesh and bone 
	sown into the fabric of these 
	towers with closed doorways 
	that form broken arch homes 
	for broken things 
	but 

	no longer am I broken 
	I have embraced 
	the cold and hunger 
	of my mouth and my soul 
	I am free of this place 

	Yet 

	here I am still 
	here for you to see 
	if you can stomach 
	to see me 

From The Pagan Field (print 1996, eBook 2013) available FREE until 15 Nov. at 
http://www.amazon.com/The-Pagan-Field-extended-E-ebook/dp/B00F395DAU



Details | Free verse | |

The Beginning of the End

My eyes are shut as I lay in the darkness, Behold my blind anger as it rages within me, Twisting shadows squeeze the life from my very soul, Blood-cells spatter as my skin bursts, Tearing at my seams the flesh rips pieces of me, My heart tainted and rusted I rot where I stand, The destruction of my future resembles my past, Sorrow and pain brought forth without name, Lingering in the present brings but only bloody rain, Illusion an confusion sought out of despair, I hate my being..Every fiber of my being...Take me home...Take me to the End.


Details | Free verse | |

Walk Away

Walk Away

Knock on the door
See who answers
Will you like
The face you see
Is it pain
Sad memories
Close the door
How do you feel
Lost and sad
Nowhere to go
Turn away
What does it mean
It means you are walking out on me.

By: Tim Lundmark


Details | Free verse | |

unentitled

inexhaustible days and nights
always solitary
forever despondent 
incessantly wretched
countless years have passed 
nothing changes
older but no wiser
still making mistakes
taking missteps
confused, baffled, sometimes bamboozled
has smiled, laughed and pretended 
to be all right 
no one looks real close 
no one sees that she is 
continually fighting back the tears
never knowing why, but always constant
relentless unwavering sorrow


Details | Free verse | |

Impending

Doom. I smell it
A sensual feast
of vices. Wretches
subscribe their pride
to dark horses who ride in the
Gloom.
Doom, thy muse who takes pleasure
in dealing despair.
Orphans who lay in the ill sown seeds of
Ruin.
Doom. Now taste the sweet release of thine 
enemies. Apple blossoms ripen to a poisonous 
Bloom.
Doom. Hear sounds of chaos and tongue tied terror. 
screams of the destruction Sweet Mercy will wreak upon her
Broom.
Doom.


Details | Free verse | |

Once Was Heaven

Who can handle what was taken

The way she reaches out but never touches

Anointing of a shadow once was heaven

Now behind you what you dream of

In your empty hands she was royal

So devoted almost ethereal in design

But the given can be taken past the shadows

To the edge of light

Her loss cannot be spared of broken tears

Her battled heart defied ripped and eaten

Mercy in savage delight raped in view of death

Could not spill her soul

But sought in silence fill the grave from price

Be stripped and carried to defeat

But so the touch of life returns

Pushing through the shallow earth

And wanton voice again be heard

From such a distant touch will burn


Details | Free verse | |

Riley

I've turned into a self-loathing,
promiscuous attention-seeker,
and you've turned into a drunk,
arrogant, emotionless misogynist. 

Look how far we've come,
thriving without the love of one another.
Look at how we flourish
like the decaying flora of a prize-winning garden.

We were better together.


Details | Free verse | |

LOST

Where can I go to remember?
All is trapped
No, forgotten
Erased
How can I ever know what I felt as my life was coming to an end?
Who out there can tell me what I saw?
What were the images these eyes were force to see before they closed 
to leave me in the world of no return?
These images haunt me
Trying to constantly reinvent themselves so that they can come to life
In an abyss of memories they lie
Swallowed up into a black hole where forgotten memories go to live out the rest of their days
“I want to live” are the screams my memories echo in my mind
My mind yells back in defense… “NO!”


Details | Free verse | |

the glowing side

 In the glowing side of evening faced houses 
 Hooting owls distant echo sounds 

 Still awaiting the dawn 
 Partners restle for hungry passion fleeting

 Dreams of homecomings 
 Streamers banners awaiting for hours 

 Love is lost at dusk 
 Wind graces the tall grass 

 Bends and aches towards 
 The east where life comes

 And goes as I face 
 The glowing rise 

 Of my mood 
 Love scattered milky way 

 Wraped blind my heart 
 So careses yesterday 

 Moments in time slips 
 By for tommarrow I fly 

 In the glowing side 
 Of evening


Details | Free verse | |

Emptiness

screaming from the inside cause i feel myself physically burning cause this pain is whats really hurting i wanna be free away from all the hurting i feel i have no one closed in an empty room no one hears me crying nothing to do but sit here and pretend to be happy when i know i'm really stressing feel like a stray puppy at times cause no one or anyone to call my family i deal with a lot but can anybody see me struggling i walk around with a mind so strong i can feel myself tipping tipping over with all my feelings trapped in a bottle til it gets filled to the ceiling i sit and wonder can anyone's thoughts compare to how i'm feeling everyone sees but don't understand that me i am an emotional wreck ship crashed and broken into pieces someone please save this mess .


Details | Free verse | |

untitled

last confession
lost hope
hopeless
bleeding out like a knife to the throat 
 or like a gun or rope
i love you with this final note
i lack the ability to cry or cope
holding on to what was ounce there
and tired of people pretending that they really care
if i was here and you where there
this world wouldnt have a life to spare
dont waste a penny or dime 
on mine

because a love like yours is hard to find
your spirit and heart are one of a kind
no innonocence lost
no ignorance either
just me watching my reflection as i grip the clever
blood pouring fast
i knew your love would'nt last
but a look in your eyes tells me other wise
will you be home tonight
even if you scream 
and we get into a fight
if your crying ill make everything alright
as i hold you threw the night


Details | Free verse | |

Lingering Thoughts

Dark ink swelling in my eyes, Holding back the pain I holds so near, These lingering thoughts of empty promises...wish time could merely stand still, Heart stained with illusions of love from another, Tossed aside as if just a simple toy, Whom is to judge my soul but only to be satisfied of your own sorrow, You can not break me for I am already broken, You can not claim me for I am not property to be bought, In the end we are all fuses waiting to go off.


Details | Free verse | |

Growing Old

You were a fantasy that I was obsessed with until you said your goodbyes
I pick up the phone in surprise...it was you, desperately in need...
I’m in disbelief…
Shed relief upon my grief
I reduce to ash…
Guilty for the wrong I’ve done to earn this cash
In captivity and spell-bound by deception
Drenched in pride and depression 

I’m growing old 
I’m sheepish, never once bold
You’re a tale untold
You will pay sevenfold 

I fainted when I saw you leave my side
I paint my face the colors of the rainbow

I’m growing old 
I’m sheepish, never once bold
You’re a tale untold
You will pay sevenfold 

I hated the fact that you took a long time to decide 
You need to wipe away the tainted sorrow

I’m growing old 
I’m sheepish, never once bold
You’re a tale untold
You will pay sevenfold 

Plastic bliss marinates my tattered soul this silent night
Yesterday is underneath us now…let go of the past’s regrets – the devil’s winning

I’m growing old 
I’m sheepish, never once bold
You’re a tale untold
You will pay sevenfold 

Numbness takes over me – blanket me with God’s light
You were my five-leaf clover once upon a time; now, my mind’s spinning 

I’m growing old 
I’m sheepish, never once bold
You’re a tale untold
You will pay sevenfold 

I’m in disbelief…
Shed relief upon my grief
I reduce to ash…
Guilty for the wrong I’ve done to earn this cash
In captivity and spell-bound by deception
Drenched in pride and depression 
I hung up the phone the moment you yelled at me and uttered words of greed
Can't you see the agony, springing out of my eyes?


Details | Free verse | |

Crossroads

Sorrow in ones mind lingering in the past my present pushes forth as my soul stands still, The very heart beneath my chest beats with haste as my body is torn at the crossroads of my essence.


Details | Free verse | |

the sweeter the bitter

THE SWEETER, THE BITTER
The sweeter the bitter, the bitter the sweeter;
There is nothing like a free lunch, the sweeter the bitter
Lift me high so you can pull me down, the sweeter the bitter
Only my loved ones can hurt me, the sweeter the bitter
You sing only sweet melodies to entice me not knowing you are luring friendily to win me and satisfy your secret but wicked ambitions, the sweeter the bitter
I have fought so hard for you so if you can’t praise me, don’t shame me
The sweeter the bitter
Inside the gun is complete darkness but a bullet remains harmless until it sees a little light
Bigger baits attract worthy fishes. The sweeter the bitter
Why has a whole brain been reduced to a common sweet? The sweeter the bitter
In times of light I bloom, so you hold me tight and look at me in the eyes saying “you are simply the best”
Now there is darkness which has covered even the whitest snow, yes I am doomed  but stop telling serpent that I am the worst. The sweeter the bitter
Please tell me just one thing in this world that is always sweet but never bitter, the sweeter the bitter
No pain means no gain, the more you build the more you destroy, for perfect peace we should wage tougher wars the sweeter the bitter
Bear the pains to live death will soon embrace you, crown you, honour you and reveal all your hidden achievements. The dead enjoys more than the living the sweeter the bitter
The closer the light the hotter it becomes
Gaining one friend brings you more than one enemy
Sugar is sweet but could be very dangerous the sweeter the bitter
How I was born is not how I will die the sweeter the bitter
You have done things so great in the world but why do you bother to see the end of the sea
When you do anything possible to start your living just be wise death will certainly drag you and end the living the sweeter the bitter
To enjoy every bit of peace we must tolerate every bit of bitterness
Democracy, election and good governance are all sweet why then do we turn them bitter
The sweeter the bitter
Ironically you are for the nation but your selfish desires scatters the whole nation the sweeter the bitter
A word to the wise they say is enough; this is sweet but very bitter. So I say the sweeter the bitter.
                                                                     By    GODFRED K.B.ADJEI
                   tel:0270800513,email:gak_brant@yahoo.com
            facebook:GODFRED KB ADJEI
                                                                       


Details | Free verse | |

Silent

Don't know how it happened
All I know is that it's real
It feels surreal
I'm losing her more and more
With every second that we don't speak
Speak!
Why not speak?
Mostly because she don't care
She never cared of your feelings
The hurtful-ness that she shared
Two words is all we ask
But silence
She said that she didn't want to speak to me
Don't want to know me anymore
Confused and hurt
By her torturous words
I said **** it
And left through the door
Cried my eyes out
Not believing a word she said
Knowing we'll be in touch soon
And knowing never again
Don't call me
Don't ask for me
Don't beg me
Don't grasp for me
I have to move on from you
No more I ask of you
You pushed me away
Now fight and sink like a battleship
I float away
I drown and swim in sorrow
I die without you
You die without me
A love we once knew
A love again will never be


Details | Free verse | |

feeling

I have this weird feeling
a feeling i cant explain
lately ive been wondering
am i still waiting in vain?

i tried to figure out
what this feeling is called
what it is about
and why im feeling cold

suddenly it came to me
then it really hit me hard
this is no blasphemy,
i was just caught off guard

and yes, now i understand
this feeling that i have
did not come from disneyland
neither is it love. 

its the feeling of sadness
a feeling i dont know
until it took my happiness
and left me nothing but sorrow.. 






Details | Free verse | |

Sunshine Hesitations

Forgotten was her message

In the deeply hidden cavern

Where mondays never answered

All the thoughts sequestered

Relying on temptations

To guide her through the tumbles

Falling into witness

Of sunshine hesitations

Waiting was my method

Holding all the candles

Evaporating daybreak

Reaching for the roses

Hibernating criss cross

Below the flowing curtains

Whispering salvation

To lonely hearts desertion

Grave were her intentions

Upon the arms that held her

Blaming all the shadows

For all the light that follows

I can only tell her

To wait until forever

For those who planted deeply

Never harvest sorrow


Details | Free verse | |

the blues of a reluctant outsider

i pass by daily
saying hello but saying nothing
the magic lamp never works
when she finds another as a result of the monotony of me,
the view of the unrelenting sun in the middle of the mirror burns my eyes with truthful rays of blame
i take it all like a man because obviousness itself knows i definitely deserve it
i sneak by constantly
becoming that quietly crazed lunatic on the other side of the side of the gate
george strait strait says you look so good in love....and so do i....


Details | Free verse | |

Motivation's Distruction

Like a mountain I stand tall, Like the forest I remain together and strong, Like the ocean I spread far and near, Like the Wind I go where my heart blows me...When the earth quakes my mountain crumbles, When a fire starts my forest burns to ash, When oil spills in my ocean my beautiful things within me die, and when there is dead air I go no where and my heart shatters into pieces, I stand still looking around me watching everything great disappear, As the world turns round my bones break with each burn, each spill, each quake, I hope he can put me back together...or I'll be useless again just like I was once before


Details | Free verse | |

A Bitter Gall

It was early on the day of his crucifixion and they drug him from his cell. Disoriented from dehydration. Disoriented from the pain. Eyes swollen shut and his feet bruised. The flesh on his backside ripped from his captor’s wicked devices. What would it take to make him cave in? What would it take to break his spirit? He continued to carry the burdens of the world with him. He knew his purpose in this suffering. His heart beat with the burdens of the world. He knew only he could deliver them for it was he who created them. To be crucified by the very children you created was his lot. Murdered in cold blood and hung naked on the cross. Hung in shame. Naked in front of his own mother and brother John. How cruel could his own creation be towards him? How much lower could they stoop to reign in the era of the Holy Ghost? This is our Messiah. This is the Christ. You don’t know suffering til you know THE COST that HE PAID FOR YOUR SALVATION. THIS IS THE PUREST FORM OF LOVE. THIS IS OUR CHRIST. A BITTER GALL.

Written by Gwendolen Rix
10-14-14


(Isaiah 53:5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed).



Details | Free verse | |

Blotting Paper

Such as blotting paper 
We absorb everything: 
Sunrise, darkness, 
Roses, thorns, 
Bitterness, Basil 
Lightning’s, thunders 
Ravens, Snakes, 
Worms under the bark, 
The bark and roots,

We absorb
Bread and salt, 
Plague, dust, ash, tar,
Wound and the fire of wound, 
And the blood above the wound 
 
We absorb
The death, the bones that a thousand
Thousand years ago 
Recumbent motionless 

We absorb
The rust and forgetfulness, 
The dried roots and rocks, 
The roads and intentions, 
The milk of our mothers, 
And our fingernails,
Which were eroded under dirt,
And dirt, what walked over,
Or what walked beneath.

We absorb everything
But what do we give back?

Written by © Fatima Nusairat


Details | Free verse | |

RELEASING THE LOAD

A sky’s pasty pallet, 
thickly stroked
with a heavy brush,
lends pale shadows
to the earth below
while a filament  
of a memory
improves the dreariness
with joyous rays

Soon to follow
comes the rain
as the clouds lessen
their laden load
and the day brightens
as remembrances lighten
and sorrow steams away
on the pavement 
of a renewing heart

© Debra Squyres


Details | Free verse | |

dumpster diving

I threw out all of you
smashed all the CD's
trashed every sweatshirt that smelled of you
ripped up diary pages of admiration
letters and pictures burnt
only ashes that can't say 'I love you' anymore
and then you wanted me back
but I'm not going dumpster diving


Details | Free verse | |

Predator

Elusive in the jungle this beast prowls, Hunting her prey through the shrubbery of revenge, Her lust purges for the thick juicy hide of ones soul, Spotting what she seeks she fades into the deep, As the shadows fill she leaps into action playing out the chase before her, The taste of flesh between her fangs she bares a viscous grin of drooling hunger, Each sprint brings her closer, With one final lunge she plunges her fangs into this fearful creature of night, She slips further into its flesh, As its jugular spews blood among her whiskers, With a slip of her jaw its neck snaps, Laying motionless and limp she rests a moment, Then drags its corpse into the trees above, Feasting on her hard earned meal...This feline is well fed for another night.


Details | Free verse | |

Let that little life live

Let that little life live 

War is a death to all
And it’s need for peace to install 
Let that little Gaza live
And let it survive with your give 
And it’s enough of that war
That killed thousands of souls
Now let the world survive 
In the beauty of civilization
And let not the land be red
With innocent and naïve blood 
And let not the oceans be replaced
With tears of moaning hearts!

- R K Chowdary 
24July2014


Details | Free verse | |

Inner Light

This night was kissed
 with white satin light 

with gentle ease
 the breeze
 lifted my curtain
 in the rhythm
 of my heart

Sepia shadows
 rippled on the roof
 the hum of crickets
 reverberated
 through the air
 this was a discovery
 of unfailing peace

this munimented minute
 I etched into my mind
 as a memory pearl
 and means to escape 

in the cacophony
 of a cyclone of time
 as sadness falls
 onto my face 

I will remember
 this moment
 in the nothingness
 of silent thought

knowing
 I only have to
 close my eyes
 to recapture this
 unvarnished sight


Details | Free verse | |

Regret

War is not simple, it never is, the first taste of blood, 
a real taste of it, to sink your sword in its throat,
feeling the red mist of blood on your body, 
it felt so warm turning so cold, cold like my heart,
my mind was no longer my own, everyone changed,
everything changed, I was never the same,
the screams, the fear, the hatred, haunting me,
I couldn't sleep and when I did, the faces I had to face,
the faces with blank eyes, a soul no longer,
my soul left with them, fore their death remembered,
over and over again I see their souls leaving their body,
The soul of my own no longer yet my body lives,
I still comprehend what I wish not,
I wish to end it all, if only it leave,
my heart beating faster and faster and hesitating,
hesitating as I hold the knife to my throat,
trembling looking at my eyes in the mirror,
eyes of a coward, eyes of hatred, fear,
blank eyes that I made i see in mine, how beautiful...


Details | Free verse | |

Invisioned Life

Stepping through the door I embrace the beams of sun pertruding through the clouds, Each soft step leaves prints of myself in the moist dirt beneath me, Smooth wisps of tender breezes grace me with it's presence as it wraps through my hair and around my skin, As I walk further into my world a lone tree sits atop this hill before me, Dazed by its beauty I linger where I stand for a moment watching it as it dances with the wind as if they were one, A delicate butterfly flutters by catching my eye..I play with it as it lures me in, Closer and closer I seem to get, this tree that gives me the feeling that something is amiss, Nearer I become, My body pulling me as my mind try's to resist the temptations of this secret beauty, Here I am now..under its shade watching each leaf drop and fade, What am I missing..what lay here..there's something confusing, misleading, and insincere, Yet now that I'm here it's hard to leave like I'm locked in a world of illusion and fear, I'm scared to step away for all will shatter..but if I stay I'll break and tatter, This life I lead is broken and sullied..I'm glad this is a dream and I'll wake in the morning..Unless this is real and I must bare it, pretending all will just get better,Looking back it seemed so easy..but now I just can't step away from my present and future, My past will remain behind me forever in eternity, No more despair or sorrow..only happiness filled with love and joy, Even if it kills me I'll make it through to the very end.


Details | Free verse | |

Daddy's No More

Daddy’s No More
	
Anger is the virus that devours at our soul
Inevitable we will be alone
I reach out for the sense to belong
The house is quite everyone is gone
An unnerving sense of sadness runs up our leg
Alone at last! He shouts his victory dance
Regret and tears run down his cheek
Searching rooms hopeful to hear a voice
The anger left them no choice
He collapses on the stairs clutching his memories
He feels no remorse 
He longs for a hug
Daddy’s no more


By: Tim Lundmark


Details | Free verse | |

The Companionable Ills

The companionable ills, short heavy breaths
 with which I force the wind into my blood,
 chill and whisper- that I am not 'complete',
 that my youth has 'run dry', and yet this poison lets
 me the world unfolding with unforeseeable possibilities:
 the jut skulls of mountains, fields of ripening wheat,
 ubiquity rising like a dove above the landscape
 and thundering down along the troubled feet of the city,
 I am at home with my lonely sorrow.


Details | Free verse | |

SURPRISES

Surprises

La bouche mousse
Le cœur s’émoustille
Ce qui est long
Paraît interminable
Ce qui est prêt
Devient inaccessible
Comme la vie est pleine
De surprises!
Et qui sait de quoi 
Demain sera fait. Sire !

Mars 2012

in DES CADENCES ET DÉCADENCES
my poems in French


Details | Free verse | |

Without wings here I stay

Without wings here I stay
On broken wings 
I try to fly
My hardest to reach heaven
In the blue painted skies
The more I attempt 
The more I fail
I fall each time
Laying on the ground
My pride is hurt
Laying here in the dirt
Where did I go wrong?
Is this the punishment? 
I know I deserve it
For a life of sin
My life story where shall I begin
Leading myself astray 
While I am on my knees perhaps I should pray
Ask for a second chance
A third chance
A fourth chance
I lost count of the chances I have been given
So when it is my time to fly
Access will be denied
I must find a new way home
Before the gates close
And I am left on the outside looking in
Dirty from this life
Bathe in this sin
Free choices I have made
Shall I lay down my hopes and desires?
Before taking a dip in the lake of fire


Details | Free verse | |

putting one foot in front of the other

I’ve been walking this road 
Perhaps all by myself?
For I can’t see anyone else
I don’t know what’s ahead 
But I sure know where I’ve been
So I keep on going
No matter what happens
And whatever comes my way
I will try it out
For life is an adventure
And I will enjoy the journey
While surviving the slings and arrows
That come my way


Details | Free verse | |

Devoted of Obsessed

Laying here I embraces my stomach as my heart rips beneath my chest,
The pain I bare so close to my soul..my breath taken back with my throat so torn in anguish,
Why...why must my Master be so far..yet here I am burdened with sorrow of lonely tears,
Devoted I stand ready to please, but clearly is placed to wait even if not with ease,
Never turning my love away..scared of sinking deeper I holds my tongue from speaking,
Sullied and strung I lay in misery as I miss my Master terribly,
The stars lit with dull candles and the moon hung low in the sky..my eyes still and dormant,
Grow young one learn and live..cherish your youth for it would end the moment you have me,
Be blissful and true embrace your freedom my obsession would control you even in your dreams,
Wisp it away on virtuous winds into the heavens an then to descend as it flutters with grace,
Prey you'd not forgotten the love I hold near, prey you'd not forgotten who I truly hold dear.


Details | Free verse | |

Torment Growls

Didn't stay with me ..
But your voice and echo. (alas)!

One hundred road and my lips,
Never chant but ,
"Come back to me."

Never answered _
in horizon,but, echo!

Ah, I satisfied with,
purl in my chest.

Ah nothing in my poems
but, torment growls, and tears.