Submit Your Poems
Get Your Premium Membership

Free Verse Lonely Poems | Free Verse Poems About Lonely

These Free Verse Lonely poems are examples of Free Verse poems about Lonely. These are the best examples of Free Verse Lonely poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

If you don't find the poem you want here, try our incredible, super duper, all-knowing, advanced poem search engine.

Details | Free verse | |

It's Okay

It’s okay to leave the dishes in the sink,
to wash your hands with sanitizer instead of soap.
Your mother will joke
about how it doesn’t get your hands clean enough
but when was the last time you listened to her anyway.
It’s okay to cry today,
to use your sleeve instead of tissues.
It’s okay to take that thing that hurt you
and throw it out of the moving car,
just don’t go back to pick it up,
it’s not lost luggage,
it’s buried tumors.
It’s okay to hate God today,
to change his name to yours,
to grab the headstone with your mitten covered hands
and try to knock it over.
Throw the snow at it,
the roses have died.
It has been too long since the passing,
but I give you permission to hate God today.
It’s okay to break into the liquor cabinet
and medicate peacefully,
to drink too much sometimes
and not know where you’ve been
because you’ll eventually find yourself.
It’s okay to walk alone sometimes,
sort your thoughts,
to clear the air with air,
and dry the wounds with salt.
It’s okay to climb into bed early
and stare at the ceiling,
to just tell yourself that it’s okay.


Bold lines are taken from the poem Letter From My Heart to My Brain by Rachel McKibbens


Details | Free verse | |

Afloat On a Lavender Sea

Decades yawn and stretch across the years, traveling up the stairs, around the chairs coiling around the door of one small room that was groomed by the sun of a Saturday afternoon... Floating on a sea of a hardwood floor I'm prone, on my back, on a lavender rug Examining the nail of my left hand thumb hearing you express, that you aced your class I had confessed, to missing you more each day linked only to you, by that ivory phone and a ring on my finger, that bound our love and blinded our eyes to the doubt of youth... Invitations in the mail, and a church on hold There was a cake on order, and a cold hard world You were glued to my ear, I was entrapped by a cord that tugged on the wall, with every word Light from the yard is scored by the blinds but, there on the floor, prone on my back, I'm bound by the cord that tethered our lives Linked to your voice, where love was wound Hovering over the sea of cold hardwood, I had a pillow of shag of a lavender rug The days stretching short and our vows yet untold A cord getting stronger, that time would unfold
____________________________________________


Details | Free verse | |

Curved Lips

Sometimes I laugh while reading in the library
Sometimes librarians come over and tell me to be quiet
Sometimes they ask if everything is okay
And always always I answer "yes"


Details | Free verse | |

Time -part 1-

Tragedy is never a sentiment for Time For it is a phenomenon she merely sees She pours forth abundance for all that behold her Even for those of us that scold her And for naught she was cursed from the beginning There she is—interminable Time at the fullest! And we all envy her ever-ringing constancy She rules over our hearts Keeping stress in our spirits Not once does she feel sorry for us Nor is she indifferent of our failures She begs not for gratefulness And accepts who she is with joy! How ample we would be if we Like she—were free of trepidation If only we be like her waters—clear and visible from top to bottom Filled with untainted approval What fools we must seem to such a pure jewel as Time But ah, she is both heartless and kind And though we hate her peculiar aura Oh how hard it is do tear her from our minds! How stressfully beautiful Time is! Like a wink of venerated bliss She smiles and smiles And our ironical faces feel like grime Still she laughs in mirth While the world becomes a ball of putrid hatred Wanting more and more of her And positively hating her We that cannot see her began to hate For we are as visible and low as can be And we acknowledge her merely to insult her Though she takes no pang to the chest For the only gifts we give in return for herself are pangs That she simply returns to each sender Hidden is our pride But ever placed Ever unhidden Is our inscrutable mortality And this humiliation of our unchangeable fates Makes us want to humiliate the more fortunate Thus we regard her only as a concept As a fraction of a belief—a bellowing ideal For of course Time cannot in our honey-glazed eyes Think, eat, drink or feel We use her—yes! Even abuse her Not once will she complain For her gift is everlastingness


Details | Free verse | |

At Least

....and she laid it so bare,
Her soul to my hungry ear.
All her fear, hopeless and frail
Washed over me like a tide
I could not swim the likes of this
The eddies pulled me under
All along I wondered how she survived
The constant surge of her life

In the end, I'm glad I was there
It took it's toll on me to endure her pain
She only needed my ears and my silence
She only wanted to be loved.
For a night, we shared some peace from the world at large.

Only to find that NOTHING had changed.... But us....


Details | Free verse | |

Alzheimer's

In the morning, I gather my thoughts of yesterday
Like the foraging chipmunk, collecting acorns 
And stuffing them miserly in my jowls
The past is sustenance for a somnolent soul 

As age condemns my faculties
I pull, from my once copious jowl
A jewel of sorts
A garnet set in fool’s gold

My memory is manufactured 
Assembled and disassembled
No longer what was or is or will be
But was and is and never has been

Confine my thoughts to winter
Where barren fields and sterile trees
Offer less to recollect 
Empty my jaws of these useless reminiscences


Details | Free verse | |

Lonely Plight

created not by God but man harsh ridicule he endured abhorring the mere site of him people pursued a “monster” in perception only carrying torches and weapons angst festered within a tormented heart sentenced to a life of agonizing loneliness without committing a crime abandoned by a thoughtless creator his arduous trek to find him began dwelling in caves, crying hiding his hideous appearance from a bitter world that rejected him just one simple hope had he find a companion to share affection with prayers unanswered suicide his only choice to escape solitude broken-hearted, he faced demise in a conflagration upon the northland’s glacial ice cold as society’s treatment, hot as the fury in his heart


Details | Free verse | |

Dementia

He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
Tough.
Independent.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died, 
he has not been the same.
Sad
Lonely
Empty.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
Mind slipping, 
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it, 
until now...
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain, 
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Oh well...
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best, 
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows 
what happens next.
Sedation
Medication
Anger
Hurt
All results of
dementia


Details | Free verse | |

THE SKY

THE SKY 


Oh! Sky the lonely heart
Dwelling upon my untiring soul
Lost with an unspoken word.
Fountain of misery teaches him
That defiant endurance…
Oh! Sky the lonely soul
The creatures fly and obey
But the hollowness prevails.
The Sun burns him with anguish
Yet he weeps with pride.
Oh! Sky my undeniable hero
You made me the undefeated queen,
But I remained lost in my thoughts of isolation!
Now I wish to merge in you
Come my hero …my sky!


Details | Free verse | |

It Can't Be Real

A truth in rage of insult furrows my mind
For it is only an offense given to me by myself
In the mouths of others far innocent than I
I feel the tears trickle down my cheeks
For I have surfaced into an ugly mistake
I am always inadequate in this brain
I try to shine like the advice of grace given
But confidence rarely rears its head my way
There’s a sort of shade blocking its way
A shade that darkens everyday

That very shade led me to believe my feelings are wrong
That I will never belong so long as they are not controlled
I must be careful—for the lines of love and lust run cold
I hate myself truly this night
And no one but myself will give me the right
The very right to degrade my every being
Because you are not seeing what I am seeing

There is no point
My lines run cold
Can I be so bold as to say
I still love with a pang of indistinguishable doubt 
All feelings enter in
As my truth blurs and checks out

Your words pierce me so deep
I cannot describe the pain I feel
God it hurts so bad
It can’t be real

Much like the love I have come to embrace
The very love that links to your face
Tears don’t give it justice

It can’t be real
Much like the love I will never face


Details | Free verse | |

Validation

In their dreams…

Yes, please Whisper indoctrinated dialect Upon my harrowing song Yes, please Remove that scented, plastic tulip Place it upon my oblivious palm As if we’re in a Sadie Hawkins dance Bribing hearts With petal currencies Psst, hey I woke up only feeling like a thousand bucks. A foreign knock-off made of recycled, rubber bolts And ambiguity Please Tell me I’m priceless with borrowed, high-interest breaths Liquidate my potent complacency To become that symbol of an elitist humanity Yes! Stroke that clouded, diamond tip With your sensual thumb Love stamps of approval After 6 months of quickie penetration And co-signatures on dilapidated apartment leases PLEASE, YES! Take me to our creator! Tell Him I am free!!! I will stand here in virtual observance! Wait, where are you going? Come back to me! COME BACK TO ME! My wheelchair’s batteries are fading! How will I stand?! NO! …
Sadly, they never validated their reality… ©Drake J. Eszes


Details | Free verse | |

Moon bridge

The moon so bold seems cold
with a halo of midnight glow
I sit mesmerized as the night grows old.

I bleed still, even after all these years
and I wait again through the night
aching in the depths of my soul
that no other seems to know
the Loneliness that has become my companion.

In the darkness we wait and confide in the other
our deepest fears as memories fade
in and out each season of change
            the nostalgia tempers the wars of pain
this tempestuous foe of ours
         wails at the gates of midnight
howling the warble of humanities last grace.

How the comfort of minds and hearts
turn from light to deep dark in the face 
of eternities long time clock...

I ache with wanting, with need and passion
          it is a lie that time heals and wounds scar
each night is fresh like the first
                              when I faced realities shock.

Who can wait with me?
Who can hold this hound at bay?
Who can cherish what little love left in me
             and make the broken whole?


I ache to be loved again as the love that burns
and waits inside of me. 
Who can comfort this emptiness and fill the void
                that so many leavings have left?

Cherish and love to honor and protect
             but who can slay these demons that hold my heart in wrath?
Who will walk the sulfur clouds of hell to save my mind
     and deliver my world to the gates of heaven
      with life, not death bridging the distance of pain?

I sit and wait at the floor of the moon each night
waiting for that bridge to carry me yonder,
      this moon who hangs heavy and ripe with the yearning of my soul
with clouds aglow as if I could sweep them across a canvas
   with the brush held in your hand

I rage at her as I wait, but still I wait and weep
as Loneliness and I keep each others company
wishing the clouds of that great moon could truly create
a way to find the lost, a pathway to home, lit by the legacy our love.


Details | Free verse | |

LONELY

It’s dusky and smoky in the room. People are talking too loudly, laughing at a joke of which the punch line was lost in the din. I shift my weight on the stool – the dimensions not quite fitting my shape. My skirt rides up my thighs. I leave it there and pick up a stare from across the room. Not quite sure if it was meant for me, I notice a slumped punter lift his glass in a salute. I nod and turn reluctantly back to my half empty glass on the counter. A cautious tap on my shoulder quickens my pulse. It is late and my head is fuzzy from the G & T’s, but this attention is most definitely meant for me. He mumbles sweet nothings. Well, that is what it sounds like through his whiskey breath slurring. He picks up my flimsy wrap and drapes it over my shoulders. The touch from another human being feels good on my naked skin. I let him kiss me on the lips and do not protest when he calls for another round. I cannot remember when last someone has sweet talked me. It is getting very late and the prospect of being alone fills me with dread. In the dark corners of the bar people are trying to expel the mutual fear of being lonely.
****************************************************************** GLOSSARY Persona Literary Term refers to the narrator or speaker of the poem, not to be confused with the author - a narrative voice other than the poet tells the entire poem. The expression derives from the Greek word "persona" meaning mask. When the poet creates a character to be the speaker, that character is called the persona and the poet imagines what it is like to enter someone else's personality. This is an example of a poem where I have used persona. It usually reflects the thoughts of the speaker and they are not necessarily the personal experiences of the poet, ie the poet places himself in the shoes of the other person and comments on a scene observed. It is a difficult format to write in as as the poet needs to keep in character throughout the poem and it tends to deviate from the usual voice of the poet.


Details | Free verse | |

Hounds from Hell

Hounds from Hell take their toll on your soul
as you walk the mainstreet of mainstream
and watch Saturn and Neptune dance to a simple tone
of silence in the outer space.
As you sit in the middle of the world
alone;
free yourself from the sense of hopelessness,
only see yourself in the mirror of deception
as your reflection laughs at you and looks right through you,
and doesn't have remorse for what it says or does to you.

Hounds from Hell take your soul,
chock you, cut of your air,
the smog and fog blind you in the city of ash.
Hear the hounds from hell howl for your soul,
go now, barracade your soul behind sins and temptation,
Alone, listening to your soul die away,
watch love go away from you, with suitcase in hand,
picture frames broken and collect dust through the sands of time.
Till the cleaning lady comes on Monday, to clean the mess
that you left behind.
You are gone, without a trace of ever returning.
Looks of the Hounds of Hell came for you and stole you from
comfort and warmth,
till the sorrowed heart cracks and pain spills out
and you look at it all spill out over the floor.
The Hounds from Hell have paid a consumable harmage to you,
and your rich soul of sorrowness burns away... slowly.

Fear darkens souls,
innocent souls burn with a new day,
a slumber that has no end
with nightmares haunting every light of hope
there is left in this desolate Wasteland.
Fear and darkness tears a hole in the darkened universe
and we all go to hell to see the Hounds,
who come for us all.
The graveyards fill,
and death guards the tombstones of the dead,
and the flowers burn away on the feet of the dead.

-10/14/2013-


Details | Free verse | |

The Wasteland -Part 1-

How can one express the baffling depths of obscurity? How can one behold to open the shafts of the mind? I have never been able to solve the mystery— Of myself. . . I wish at times that my life was no more That I could live as another and finally see things right But I am always stuck in this darkness And I cannot see this mind in light There are beasts. . .demons prowling through the wasteland Searching for any remaining life And if they are ever found— They are doomed and consumed Fear is their downfall and they never fail to smell it Their ashes remain, dancing with the imaginary breeze It is silent here—there are no answers I wish there were answers. . . But maybe there was never a reason No answers. . . Talons extend and clench around my heart They will never seek me out—they left me here It is like they knew…I had no reason—that was the answer I feel the pulse of my dangling life Alone in the dark, whimpering like a child I have scared myself, becoming this dragon-daggered youth No balm in Gilead! No eyes to see All I know will never be free I don’t need anyone! You are a disgrace—scum of the waste! You have everything, you ungrateful little nothing You are a joke. . . So swallow it all up like the pushover you are Stand your lowest and trudge right through No questions. No answers. Just . You. Or just lie back down into the mush of disease It has already infected you to the core Accept who you are, you ugly pestilence! I hate you Who are you to be glorified? Dream snatcher. . .murderer of all things bright Saturated in what you call light I see right through—even as the reflections shatter All of the dead kept you alive—they all matter… But alive you are the worst there is False savior—edited attention whore I never want to see your face again See, that’s why I hide. . . Desperation. . .desperation. . . I sob and cry kneeling in defeat For once I am right. . .I am right


Details | Free verse | |

Loner Oneness

He is like a distant aloof star
in this universe we all call our home.
A tiny insignificant star and so estranged,
he is but a flicker among billions
and billions of glittering entities populating endless skies,
always waning, and yet, in the evening shadows
ever staying - unassuming, solitary, and silent.

As he enjoys fading into twilight oblivion,
no one knows of his ambitions, history or preferences.
Unnamed to everyone, he enjoys his anonymity,
watching asteroids, comets, and the other stars around him
in deep azure nights - aware - feeling a peacefulness,
a kind of security in his own remote oneness.


For David Williams' Con / VowPoetry Contest


Details | Free verse | |

Alone

Alone am I and don't want to be, I pray for someone to come and rescue me. I 
wander along this lonely path and think of those that I've lost in the past.

I seek for someone to walk with me, I look and entreat, for my soul is in despair. 
Once I had a mate so fair and refined, she walked with me and soothed my mind, 
but now she is gone.  My world has become calamity. Now I wander this lonely path, 
across mountains and through the pass. In desert places my soul does thirst for an 
oasis to drink from on this lonely earth.

I despise the day and rue the night, when dreams come in and stress my plight. The 
sun does scorch me, the cold sends shivers down my spine. No one to shade me, no 
one to hold me, nothing to make the cold to flee.

My heart is weary and my mind whispers, your name is solo and will always be. My 
shadow mocks me as I go, a reminder of long ago, when there were other shadows 
not just mine alone. I've become a mad man, I curse the day and wail at night. 
Perhaps some day I'll find sweet rest, join the ones I lost in the past and solo no 
longer my name will be.


Details | Free verse | |

we are stars

people are like stars,
some are younger,
some are older,
some are brighter,
some are darker,
some are bigger,
some are smaller,
but in the end we are all the same.
all together.
shining bright with our personality.
dont care about what other people think.
its their own opinion.
be unique,be you.
you are who you are, and who you are is all their gonna get.
so shine like a star!!!


Details | Free verse | |

Love declares His Love

Love they say is a many splendid thing-

Love wove for me
Such a fine necklace
All gleaming with tiny droplet pearls
That hung from a sheer gossamer thread
Dazzling in clear beauty
Glistening in the morning gold of the frosty morn

Love sings for me the finest song
From the golden throat of a nightingale
Like the sounds of many violins
Stringing a tune of lonely times and long lonely nights
when he waited and listened to the wind for my whispers
Of loving response

Love shines and twinkles in the midnight hour when
Declaring on heavens evening robes where
Jewels dance across life’s moving screen
Love declares His undying passion
For me

Then dawn rose from a heart on fire
It lit the garden with morning sun
Radiant-wearing the finest perfume
And colors of the rainbow bowed
In memory of our first lost embrace
The King waits anxiously-
For my smile and my heart.

© Brenda V Northeast 28th July 2012


Details | Free verse | |

Between Happiness And Sadness

Between happiness and sadness
 —silence; an angel prays:

I kiss the loneliness of old people, 
their temples like handfuls of winter; 
their hearts
are used baggage, 
waiting; 
memories speak to them, 
they smile and
tell me stories from their youth 
—sadness falls; 
silence passes unspoken
—they remember the dead. 

I kiss the loneliness from their temples
and sadness lifts from their mouths.

———————————————————————
From my first book: 'In Forbidden Language'

©dah / Stillpoint Books 2010
all rights reserved

Search Amazon Books: "in forbidden language/dah"


Details | Free verse | |

Being Lonely Feeling Lonely

Sometimes the loneliest times 
are when I am not alone,
and a stream of conversation invades my ears.

Sometimes the loneliest times
are when I'm with you
and you see my empty gaze stare into you.

Sometimes I want to be lost in the world
Sometimes I choose to disappear.

Sometimes the loneliest times
are when I am alone
and my thoughts force me into darkness.

Sometimes I wish that you could be me,
Sometimes I want you to see what I see.

Sometimes the loneliest times
are when my brain stops
and thought becomes the hardest thing

in the world.


Details | Free verse | |

CAPTCHA's Cruelty

HELP

The CAPTCHA took me by surprise tonight
Letters became ghouls in my mind’s eye
I listed them—
Noted them; words...begging, crying out for me

STAY

CAPTCHA was merely mocked
By millions of viewers on keyboards
I imagined all—
Tears began to fall

LOST

How may I help you, CAPTCHA?
Are you merely what they say?
Is there more—
Tell me, I pray

AAND

You bewilder my senses with your emptiness
The computer became my way to you
But all I could do—
Was imitate

CRYY 

I began to imagine someone stuck in CAPTCHA
A place where they harbored the weak
They took what they pleased—
Allowed them to speak

NNOW

Today it was happening and evermore
There was a reason I came to know
And now—
I want to know more

FOLL

I swallowed air and typed in the words
Feeling worthless and absurd
I began to believe—
There was more to this irrational dream

XOW3

The screen went black and then I was sure
I couldn’t doubt it anymore
The CAPTCHA wanted me—
The letters suddenly blurred and unseen

CAPTCHA
CAPTCHA
Let them go
CAPTCHA 
CAPTCHA
Full of woe
CAPTCHA
CAPTCHA
Take me now
CAPTCHA 
CAPTCHA
Tell me how to
CAPTCHA
CAPTCHA
Set them free
CAPTCHA
CAPTCHA
Knowing is free

Knowing is free

MMEE

For years I have copied your codes
Knowing you are there
Me—it’s me
Crying in the dark pit of despair

AAND

Though empty your words are to me
They are all I hear
All I fear—
In four letters on this electric trap

XXBX

What am I to do?
To follow would weary my soul
To save—
Would take its toll

FREE

What is this foreign word my dear?
Oh, how can you cut and paste it in my mind so clear?
Free—and then? 
Close your eyes and count to ten

The victims of the CAPTCHA remain a mystery to us all
Yet still we stare at the codes and merely imitate them
We are zombies staring our lives away
Trapped in CAPTCHA’s claws
Sad, deprived. . .
CAPTURED

I speak your language to stop this cruelty:

THEE 2TRUE TH78 IS9X BEF4 HOUR VERY EYES

Though we choose not to see
We choose not to fight
We choose only to IMITATE
We merely copy and paste

CRYY
CRYY
CRYY

GOOD
BAYE
BAYE
BAYE 







Details | Free verse | |

Truth

The truth leaks out
Standing there like a frail child
Taking the hands of the elder
Looking through the glass of lonesome
And seeing what rings real
Seeing what feels true
This gash in my heart mends
At the thought of you
But it never truly heals
Stranded in the wasteland of my mind
Brushed by burning cold winds
I fear there are no blinds over you
I fear you will see it
The flaws
The very flaws I use to stitch myself
Locked up inside all of these years
Shadows ready to be freed
Only to be followed by greed
The skies have lost all color
Through the stitching
Truth bleeds
Truth hurts so bad

The truth is I love you
But why am I so sad? 

I can't say a word
My feet are firmly planted on larvae
They slowly eat me away
Hoping I will be gone in time
Before you see
Before you see the truth
I don't want you to see
Perhaps if you only knew
That I love you
Perhaps you wouldn't have to open your eyes


Details | Free verse | |

The Violinist

The Violinist

He sits on the corner of a building
Four stories above the world below
Playing his violin day after day
No one knows his name
They just know that there is beautiful music 
They imagine that is coming from Heaven
Does it matter to this lonely man?
He doesn’t care for fame or money
God has graced him with the gift of music
He could be a star
He could perform with a huge orchestra
He would rather play alone above the people
He plays just to make people happy
He loves it when people dance down the street
That man
That lonely man is an artiste
Too bad no one knows who he is
But that would not make him happy


Details | Free verse | |

To A Former Friend

I dedicate this poem to you,
The one who I used to call "friend",
"Best friend", or maybe even "sister".
Yes, you meant that much to me,
And I thought I meant as much to you.
No, maybe not as much, but at least a "best friend".
Did I ask for too much?
Was that too selfish of a request?
I thought that we'd be best friends forever,
I really did.
But I guess it was all just a fantasy,
A fragment of my imagination.
After all, reality is a much harsher place.
I think I only realized that after you walked away;
After you walked away and never looked back
And left me in a deep, dark pit of torment,
Wondering why you'd changed.
If I'd done something different, would you still be the same?
Of all the people beside me, I never would have guessed that
You would be the one to leave me like this.
And as I watched from a mile away,
How well off you seemeed without me,
I fell into a sea of depression.
For the longest time,
I felt so lonely,
Questioning myself whether anyone truly needed me.
Or was I only just second choice?
Now, as I am writing this poem,
I cannot say that I have been completely healed.
I still feel the doubt, the uncertainty,
When someone says
"I love you"
Or
"You are my best friend"
Even when I know that it is all in my head.
But I think I can say with confidence that
I have become stronger,
Even if just a little bit,
Even though sometimes
I still miss you.


Details | Free verse | |

frantic thoughts

things just arent the same...
with you gone 
its like you were never there
like a ghost...
haunting my mind
haunting my dreams 
its driving me crazy
i sometimes wonder
what it would have been like...
but no...
i dont want to think that
it makes you being gone harder to deal with
every single day is hell
because you left me alone to do this
and i cant...
im not strong without you
it was us...against the world
and you vanished before my eyes
leaving me to fight 
but i cant.
because every single moment of this life is a struggle
you held me up when i was weak
and now im left falling forever in this endless hole of pain...
drowning in my own tears 
wishing you were still here to save me
but youre not...
and im still here.
wondering if you were ever real
or just my minds way of saving me
but you have to have been real
i still feel you beside me 
i still hear your voice...
you have to have been real...

you have to have been real...

were you ever real? 

but where does this leave me. 
stuck here in a trance
trying to make myself believe 
trying to remember what your voice sounded like
trying to remember your smell
trying to remember your laugh
the memories are to vivid. too real.
so thats it then. 
youre just a memory to me.
maybe thats how its meant to be....


Details | Free verse | |

3 candles burn

A flame is so pretty, silent and gold
I'm scared and lonely exausted and cold
I've not much to say for I lack inspiration
I'm just lonely and weak in my sad desperation
Don't tell me you get it 
Don't sympathize 
Don't feed me your crap 
Don't tell me your lies
A flame is so pretty, silent and gold
I'm scared and lonely exausted and cold


Details | Free verse | |

Jesse

The sun was blaring down 
That August afternoon
When Jesse came into the town 
Of Early Blossom Bloom
The sun had blistered up his skin
His shoes were worn and tired
The clothes he wore upon his back
Was all that he acquired

Jesse was a loner 
Traveled light and all alone
No family he could speak of
No place to call a home
For food and basic shelter
He would trick upon the street
For a twenty dollar bill 
His throat would be a treat

His body aged and weary 
From the life now forced to live
A new found way of living
No man had chose to give
The effort once put forth
Strength he no longer had
To earn an honest living
A concept he didn’t have

What would come of Jesse 
No trade to call his name
In life he loved so many men
Each one a different way
But love for him was just a fix
An action he would show
Not something that would stick around
And nourish his inner soul

He travels to the city 
In hopes to find a friend
One last fool to take
Before giving up his sin
But in this town 
There was no one
To cater Jesse’s ways
No place for him to go and stay
Or a simple bed to lay

He sat down on the park bench
As dusk filled up the sky
Weary from the journey made
In hunger he did cry
In life he played a hell of a dance
No partner came to stay
Deep down afraid 
The city streets
Would be his home to stay

In Jesse’s heart was anger
For the people passed him by
Not one kind word was spoke to him
He sat alone and cried
His prayers of some compassion
Were seemingly unheard
This was life for him now
Banished from the world

He died that night a lonely man
On the park bench all alone
Laid to rest in a lonely grave
The place he now calls home
The life and times of Jesse
Now just a memory 
He was a man most would forget
For shame of his company

Think back on the life and times
That Jesse brought to earth
Would you have shown compassion?
If you seen him all alone
Who is to say who is to judge
For a life lived on the streets
For Jesse it was all he knew
And all he could ever be


Details | Free verse | |

Merry Christmas PS!

This is always a very very difficult time of year for me. I get so dang depressed,
and yes the majority of that pain comes from being incarcerated.  It is a very lonely place.  
Christmas is actually my fav. time of year. It was also my momma's (Grandmomma) who 
passed in 2007.  Her memory glows brighter within my heart during Christmas.  She raised 
me from a babe to a man...Yes I was grandmas boy :) So I was extremely spoiled.  When 
she passed in "07 (while I was in here) Man it nearly killed me.  Please read "For 
Grandmomma" (I wrote about her and my loss).  Anyway - Thank you to my best friend 
Marty Owens, For making Christmas a little happier for me.  I don't really have "family" only 
(my 2 beautiful daughters Jasmine 11 yrs and Brianna 9 yrs.)  Marty is all I have in my life.  
It's a very lonely hard place to be in without "family" or "friends"          Friends are so rare.  
I'm talking genuine friends.  So he introduced me to PS because of my raging passion for 
writing. I've grown so attached to some of you! I'm surprised at the love I have for some of 
you and I don't really know some of you. lol  It's wierd, but love can be wierd sometimes.  
So ...Charma many hugs and kisses!  Carol B. who introduced a lot of people on PS to me.  
Thank you!  Lolita my friend until the end!  Audrey my biggest fan, I'm here for you always! 
Patricia A. woman you always make me smile.  Simone my newest fan your comments 
sometimes make me blush! lol   Linda-Marie I loved my Christmas card  and your 
encouraging words...thank you..Lena...what can I say?  There are cards I would like to get 
out to some of you..send addresses sm and marty will get them to me via postal mail.  I 
would like to hear from you guys w/pics  I too will send pics of me  Merry Christmas XOXO's 
Jimmy M. Anderson #0459587 P.O. Box 2405  Marion NC 28752


Details | Free verse | |

Take One More Breath

My bedroom walls are closing in
The white paint seems to taunt me as I wonder how to escape
The posters on my wall no longer offer comfort but repetition
As the paper thin eyes staring down on me cause more confusion

Fool for waiting and hoping to be accepted
Fool for trying to please those who have no limitation on their desires
Fool for chasing down a path that doesnt exist
Fool for letting others take away your dreams

Sunlight flickers past the curtain as heat fills the air
Stepping outside may lead to the end
Searching for answers that could stay hidden forever
But I choose to breathe
I choose to live


Details | Free verse | |

THOUGHTS

The beach this morn was wonderful
The waves came thrashing down
They were wild and white and foaming
And their voices thundered round

A lonely figure walked the sand
Her head bent down and sad
And if you were up closer
You could see the tears where out

The sky was dark and cloudy
The rain was falling light
The wind was napping somewhere
And the water felt like ice

I watched that figure walking
With a black dog by her side
A memory in me stirred somewhere
Of times that where not right

She pulled her jacket closer
As if to shut it out
The thoughts that did invade her
Or memories that did shout

And all the times the waves came in
They didn’t ever change
They licked her feet and washed them
And then went out again.

As I sat there and I watched her
That figure all alone
I wondered if she registered
The lack of sun that shone

The day seemed very fitting
For one so sad as she
The misty rain, the dampened air
The water round her feet. 

I wondered as I watched her
From whence her thoughts did come
Had someone precious died here
Or had a love undone

She didn’t even see me
Her thoughts so far away
I think if there where people here
She maybe wouldn’t stay

There was nothing I could do here
Her thoughts where all her own
I felt she needed solitude
And time to mull the groan

I stood there, and I left then
A lonely figure, I
I pulled my jacket round me
My black dog by my side.


Details | Free verse | |

Come you lonely bird

Come you lonely bird!

-----

Walking forever in this same lonesome street!

Still waiting for my special someone to meet!

I have passed beyond the best of my years!

With each step forward, the blind end nears!

Know how far I've come, not what's left to go!

It has been hard all along, will it always be so?

Hear cheers in houses around my own silence!

I can't put up a fake smile, I know no pretense!

Sometimes I wonder was anyone made for me?

Or I had to live by myself, that were the way to be?

If you are one feeling deserted, join me in my walk!

I want to hear your stories, and have mine to talk!

Come you lonely bird, let's together make our nest!

We'll travel the walkways of life till we're put to rest!

-----

Poetry by Dr. Asghar Nazeer (LinkedIn profile http://sa.linkedin.com/in/drasgharnazeerlinkedinprofile)

Kindly read this poem with a lovely matching photo on LinkedIn pulse at https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/article/20140725182929-167523528-come-you-lonely-bird-let-s-together-make-our-nest-we-ll-travel-the-walkways-of-life-till-we-re-put-to-rest and my other 28 poems with similarly captivating pics at LinkedIn main author's page at https://www.linkedin.com/today/author/167523528?_mSplash=1

All my posts are shared through my Facebook community page "Hear those pics Say what clicks" https://www.facebook.com/PicsAndPoets You are most welcome to visit this page as all my posts are public and everyone may tag, share, comment on and like them.

The same posts are also shared publicly and are accessible to everyone through my Google+ page https://plus.google.com/+AsgharNazeer/posts


Details | Free verse | |

Down a Long And Lonely Road

I guess when memories of the past, 
       never seem to fade or pass, 
       we find ourselves left walking ,
       down a long and lonely road.
You know each step, which we take
       is another candle on the cake,
       as the years become minutes in a day.
The quicker they seem to pass us by,
	the more clouds we see in the sky,
	reminding us of someone we once loved.
I never dreamed I would be 23,
	now I’m 50 and look at me,
	happy as a wrangler riding on a horse.
It appears I have survived it all,
	every brick in every wall,
	regardless of the trials and the test.
In the end what matters most,
	we never let our pride become the host,
	we must forever see the errors in our ways.
To forgive doesn’t mean we forget,
	it simply means we regret,
	the course of action we were forced to take.
Me, I’ve made  all of my amends,
	apologized to enemy’s as well as friends,
	not to mention all of ladies I once loved.
Even to those who broke my heart,
	those who tore it into little parts,
	over things, which I would never do.
I ask them all and I’m forgiven,
	now I’m free to continue living,
	this life the Lord has planned for me.
Trust me friends these words are true,
	to be forgiven for what you didn’t do,
	truly is a feeling, which stands all by itself.
In the end, I guess it matters not,
	who’s forgiven and who forgot,
	that right and wrong is a two way street.
I reckon that’s all I have to say,
	for those I love I shall forever pray,
	they never find themselves walking,
	down a long and lonely road.




	


Details | Free verse | |

Sixty Seconds

I take a deep breath and count to ten,
no fifteen ,
because every fifteen seconds I’m missing you.
And these jail cell walls that define us,
these jail cell walls that divide us,
these jail cell walls that confine us,
only makes me miss you more.
Because the only embrace is between steel bars
that contort us
distort us
support us through court – us.
And your just miles away 
but these miles seem like a millennium
and I can only speak to you through letters,
but there is no reply.
I feel like I’m on a one way road
swimming leagues only to find myself drowning in a desert.
Drunk off the memories,
drunk off every syllable I write
pretending that our conversations are real, on a two way road instead of one.
I miss you.
I miss our long talks on the smoking porch,
chaining long white cigarettes,
tarring our lungs like it’s something beautiful.
You are beautiful to me
in all of your queerness
in all of your scars
in all of your mistakes-
so beautiful.
These jail cell walls that define us,
these jail cell walls that divide us,
these jail cell walls that confine us,
only makes me miss you more.
I take a deep breath and count to fifteen,
no twenty,
because there are twenty cigarettes in a pack,
and twenty more days until I see you,
and twenty more times I must wake up,
knowing that your spine is broken in two,
knowing that your hipbones are bruised,
knowing that we’ve got nothing to lose.
Let’s move.
Move away from all this misery,
from all this catastrophe,
from all these pleas-
Please come back to me.
Come back to the times of freedom,
falling through the cracks of judgment
and **** all those who think it’s wrong to be gay.
Let’s be gay.
Let’s be blissful once again.
Come back to us,
through the steel bars,
through the jail walls,
through the time of captivity,
Come back to me.
And I’ll take a deep breath and count to ten,
No twenty,
No thirty,
No sixty,
because each minute that ticks on by
I am missing you.


Details | Free verse | |

The Color Missing

The Color Missing
Red, black, and blue are the colors of our work pens. Red is the color of the blood we spill on other people’s mistakes.  Blue is the color of the songs we sing on tax forms or pay stubs- every page has a secret melody. Black is the color of the streets we fear most. Black is the color of our signature of approval. Black is the color of our death.

‘But what about the Green pens?’ I ask. They say ‘the ink is too hard to see.’


Details | Free verse | |

The Coffee Shop

I found a coffee shop where we can meet.
It’s within walking distance from your house
So you can’t complain nobody is there to drive you.

I found a coffee shop where we can meet.
It’s small and secluded, away from public eyes
So you won’t have to worry of paparazzi swarming.

I found a coffee shop where we can meet.
Its coffee and hot chocolate are reasonably priced
So don’t you tell me you can’t afford them.

I found a coffee shop where we can meet.
It does have a power socket, so you can bring
Your laptop if your work is really that urgent.

I found a coffee shop where we can meet.
(And don’t play dumb for I know that you know
Where to find it.)

So don’t make me sit here alone forever, honey:
Watching the sky weeps—for the warmth of coffee
Will never be enough to keep me company.


Details | Free verse | |

A Battle Within

The only thing is to try to be happy. 
Because no matter how you feel in this world, very few people care.
Everyone goes on with their lives, carrying their own struggles and pains.
No one is going to take the time to read in between the lines and get a peak of your soul.

All that matters is that they see a smile;
and whether they choose to believe that painted curve 
or whether they don't, its "not their problem."

Because their own bags are tearing,
and their own weight is piling on top of their shoulders.
So all you have is yourself.

But you see that is the problem, because your your own enemy.
Constantly battling and fighting but you never win.
Because your mind is consuming your heart;
and it no longer matters what you feel rather its what you think.

But the mind its a tragic place;
with so many thoughts where your past has been traced.

Until that one person come along,
they too carry their own baggage.
However they stop to wipe that painted curve off your face.
And they see the tears that reside in your eyes.
They do not come to condemn you but instead to love you,
and express their mind too.
You then see that your not alone, everyone's hurting;
left feeling as if they don't belong.
But this earth... 
It'll roll you around and beat you up.
But how you choose to fight back determines if your tough.


Details | Free verse | |

My Boredom Disease

Like sick allergies, 
Boredom can be passed around
I call it: THE BOREDOM DISEASE

Like a horrid storm,
Boredom can catch you off guard
Hold on for DEAR LIFE!

Like the whooping cough,
Boredom can be serious
If I were you, I’d
Get a vaccination ! 


Details | Free verse | |

A seed of love planted in the soil of my heart

I sailed unaware into 
the ocean currents 
of her life:
and 

smitten, I 
desired to ride 

them with her;
somewhere 
along 
the ocean ways, a 

seed of love 

planted in the soil of
my heart had taken root 
and grew--only to perish 
like 

a young hope 

that's fleeting:
though I loved her, 
she 

still wounded
me 

like a careless 
knife. 

In spite of 
this and myself, 
I looked 

for encouragement
in her stare; 
and 

at the outlines 
of her graceful 
form 

I did wonder: 
she was 

indeed 

a Helen of Troy, a prize, 
on whose loveliness 
I 

so richly gorged! 

But never was 
a lonely man 
more wretched 
than 

I was, 

as she could 
not return my
affections  

with equal measure of feeling.  

I would be more
glad had she been 
unwedded to another,
and   

could easily be within 
my desirous 
and
jealous 

orbit! 

In time, I 
never 

saw 
her again;

and love, or the 
appearance of it--like 
an aborted 

fetus

flushed down the 
toilet--died 

with her parting 
as well!



Details | Free verse | |

A Passenger

A passenger opposite me
In the bus looked at me
His bare face, a rough feeling worn 
How may change, with that my own

Looking at him and a small smile by my cheeks
Stagnant image sulks and my smile embarrasses 
His face and mind not having deflected 
Tells something strange I am confused

Only thing that I have had
It was not, that I think very bad 
One more smile came in my face
I could slightly open the lace 

A reaction to an action might have not the same
A small turn in inner may be the aim
When I left the bus and him at my time
One thing, looking at me, I saw him 

Now I remind what I did
And in return he how did
Both we have to re- think, if need
I’m afraid, who he is

My smile’s cheaper, I always give
Did he think that I am mad?
Or would it be the paradox
If the other looked this box


Details | Free verse | |

My Hiding Place

I hide here and there,
In a place that snares,
Sometimes full of my blares,
Full of ensnared traps...

I hide here and there,
In a place with many affairs,
Where my enemies are bare,
Where I can make them flee and hare...

I hide here and there,
In a place that only friendship knows,
A place located in the air,
A place below on earth,
Where no plow can cut its soil...

I hide here and there,
In a place with vast plains,
A place with deep and misty forests,
A place with an unreachable sky,
A place where flowers might bloom...

I hide here and there,
In a place where I can hide in my cloak,
A place where I breathe silently,
A place where I contemplate nature,
Where humidity longly persists,
In a place where I scream and no one listens...

I hide and there,
In a place where unwanted can get afflicted,
A place of bright darkness,
A place of dark lights,
Where nothing owns me...

I hide here and there,
In a place where my biggest wishes are spared,
A place where blood won't be splashed,
A place where tears might be shed,
A place where time and space are fair,
A place with some mare surfaces,
Where fear might be gone...

In a place where all sins might be forgiven,
A place where my instinct is tamed,
A place where my mind is thoughtful but reserved,
A place where my heart is controlled,
The place where my deepest secrets are held,
The place where I am the seer,
The place where my soul will forever reign,
The place I can call a hiding place...


Details | Free verse | |

My Treasure Chest

So, you want to know what is in my chest.
Well there is no silver,
there is no gold,
There is no hope,
there is no love,
there is no girlfriend;
there is no food,
there is no charm,
there is no honesty,
there is nothing in my chest.

It is empty,
filled with cobwebs and dust,
with a couple spiders hanging around
looking for something to eat.
I am like the spiders
looking for something to eat,
ingest hope, love, charm and honesty.

No pirates will come and take my treasure chest away.
There is nothing for them to take,
but they don't know of the secret compartment,
filled with poetry,
filled with art,
filled with culture,
filled with my own love
that I am willing to share.
Everyone always looks in the chest,
but never finds that secret compartment!
What a shame, for if they found that secret,
they would see life for what it really was.

My treasure chest is a mystery too most people.
I hope you all know,
next time you look in someone's chest
look for the hidden door,
because that place holds the most beautiful of things.


-9/20/13-
For the conest: What is in your Treasure Chest
Written by: Christopher Boskovski


Details | Free verse | |

I Will Live My Life

This is the last decision
Of my heart, o dear,
Now your companionship won't be there,
This is the extremity of pain,
Your love was false,
But this God is true,
I have cried in loneliness,
Then I have got (Him),
This keeps happening in the worldly relations,
Even Laila and Majnu,
Are separated from each other,
The tears of loneliness kill here,
Even the destruction hasn't been given to all,
I'll live without you,
Then why should there be any complaints (against you),
I'll bear without you,
The wounds I got from you,
It’s a new time, new season,
Where is faithfulness in this time?
I'll find something new now,
I'm happy now,
I'm not angry with you,
You've chose the path,
That was made for you,
(In this entire Para, the tone is sarcastic)
I feel obliged to you,
That you've left me alone,
Now that I've lost your love,
I feel I've met myself,
Who's got a companionship of a lifetime here?
The one that the heart loves makes you cry…


Details | Free verse | |

Things To Keep A Conversation Flowing

I would like to pay attention for once
Not to zone out when their talk is low 
A long time ago, sitting by myself
I vowed to keep close range with myself
Said; better to accompany the soul
Than to be lost to the rest of the world
With that being stated how dramatic the events
One begins to take themselves far away
Sitting with the masses yet  kept alone
Biting down on pursed dry lips
A smack of bad manners to drop silence
Hope no one can smell my true intentions
Not to be lonely as I feel
Like one flower clinging to a life
Where all others like it have disappeared
Yes, In an invisible box
Closed tight and big like loose tongues
Dark and hallow like a rumor
Everything is scary and tense--...politeness
They think me to be rare and precious 
It would turn them down I am not
I am not a follower all the time
Sometimes I can lead my way out the world
Just aimlessly drifting with a cusp of air
Higher, higher than my mind 
So far up no fear just euphoria


Details | Free verse | |

Love, Death, and Rebirth

The signs started in December
When she started waking up in tears each night
She was a normal girl with dark brown hair and darker brown eyes
She had plenty of friends and a loving family with just one thing missing
Her father. 

Days passed by and turned into weeks but only felt like a few seconds
Her life just whizzed by faster and faster until it was just a whirr in front of her eyes
Darkness filtered into her heart and mind until she didn't know if she could go on
But she had to. She couldn't let her mother and her sister drown in this same pain
She wouldn't let them.

She pushed all the darkness into the depths of her own heart
In hopes to save the hearts of the two people she had left
Because what else was there to live for now?
The rest of her world had crashed and her mother and sister was all that was left 
She wouldn't let them drown in pain too. 

She watched as they started to heal in her loving arms
Their hearts started to lighten up once more
But hers was just as dark as it was before 
And growing darker day by day 
But she wouldn't let that stop her. 

Suddenly a year had passed... and then two 
It only seemed like seconds to her but everyone else started moving on
Her mother and sister no longer needed her nurturing care
But she needed someone to hold on to
Anyone...

With nothing left for her to take control of, the dark pushed past her boundries 
It found a way into her soul
Until all she could see was dark and no light 
But her mother and sister were healed now
They didn't understand

The tears came back and engulfed her soul
Bit by bit until she wasn't sure why she was still alive
The grief took over like knives 
Piercing her skin over and over and over
It hurt so much.

She started to wonder what it'd look like to be dead
She could see him again if she was
Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to endure this pain?
Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to live knowing she'd never see him again?
It would.

So she started to hate herself
All that negative energy was starting to take toll
Everyone around her was breathing while she suffocated more and more by the second
She wished she'd just choke already instead of living in constant pain
If no one would put her out of her misery, she'd have to do it herself

She couldn't see any light anymore
So she grabbed the pill bottle off the shelf and just hoped it wouldn't take long to die
Deep down she still had a spark of light, but she just couldn't find it 
And now it was too late in her mind to change, to turn back and try to look deeper
She was done living.

That's when people started to notice that everything wasn't as peaceful as it seemed
They started to see how deeply depressed she had become
They wanted to help her see the light again before it was too late 
So they sent her away to see doctors and to take pills to make everything better
It was a start.

She didn't see a change at first but suddenly she could think clearly
Maybe what they were doing was actually going to help her see the light again
Yes, she still wanted to die, but maybe that wasn't the only option anymore
They cared,  and behind all their own problems they were trying to understand
They really were trying

Six months longer she would be treated and cared for
Until suddenly she was sent home from her treatment and care with a smile on her face
She had a new perspective
Someone had helped her ignite that spark in her heart until it was a glowing ember
She had been reborn

Sometimes you have to be able to experience the worst of it
To come back shining brighter than before
And if she had died that cold day in October, she wouldn't of ever seen the best of it
Or known that it would get better
and it did!

And she now sits at her laptop, with a smile on her face and warmth in her heart
It's never been an easy road and it won't ever be
But at least she knows she's lived through the worst
And it can only get better from here

So whenever she feels lonely or gets back into that dark spot again
She can look back on what she's learned and can read this poem
And remember that she survived the darkest depths of depression
And she will continue to survive it as long as she lives
Because she is stronger now than she ever was before ?


Details | Free verse | |

Midnight Lullaby

I wrapped all my tears, to see you smile.
you are the best, always by my side.
I tell you my feelings will get you crying,
you must think I’m out of my mind.

You don’t know, what I know,
all the angels let me go.

We were born to teethe and die,
you will grow to be so fine.
Fall in love, feel your softer side,
Remember me when life is kind.

When you go, let me know,
don’t walk away like the world and go.

Life is rough and the world unkind,
fight them down and you will be fine.
The truth of live is a brutal sight,
make no mistakes, you can learn from mine.

You have a strong heart, you are unique
I treasure times when you smile at me.

Live the life, I could not find,
be there for me, when I say goodbye.


Details | Free verse | |

The Autumn Affect

There's something unspecific about the autumn nights
A certain shade of color that uplifts my inner child's eyes
Beside a cashmere moon Venus and Jupiter shine bright
Complimented by a sea of blinking infinite twilight
The scent of burning oak lingers in the air from home made fires
Reminiscent of a time when this man was just a child
Careless and so free to dream and any dream to live
Like feathers floating across a field carried by the wind
As a gentle breeze blows through the leaves shivering delightful gloom
Unlike flowers of springtime the disheveled autumn vibrance bloom
Leaves crackle beneath my feet along the skeleton tree path
Where I try to find my peace or a song to make me laugh
The air is so much crisper and also soothing when I breathe it in
Underneath a starry sky and brighter constellations of Heaven
Amidst the trail I pass a lovely couple holding hands
While their children run aside frolicking in a playful dance
An old man and his wife admire the view from a wooden bench 
With smiles on their face as if nostalgia is still their closest friend
Its these specific autumn affects that bring me sorrows and joy
Reminding me of all theses things Ive wanted as a man since I was a little boy 
Its times like these that I wish I wasn't always so alone
Because I would light an fire with my family and call it home


Details | Free verse | |

If Old Men Fought

An old man looking out his door,
gaze fixed on a distant shore,
reminiscing to a time, not of happiness,
or, the prospect of a bright future,
to when he was sick to his very core,
to when as a youth, he went to war

A time before infallibility had meaning,
patriotism and bravado the craze,
the future was still unknown,
vigor for life at its all time high,
a time for romance, partying, buying,
no thought of pain, deformity, dying

Too young to understand or question,
ship to foreign shore, medals abound,
will impress the girls next time in town,
sacrifice not temporary,
forever more,
a legacy etched into a wall, few will remember,
flesh shredded, burned, torn,
families mourn

A time, when he willingly went to war,
will happen no more,
all lost in youth, now unrelenting,
no blind obedience,
minimal risk,
long life, his number one ambition

As he turns back from the door,
he thinks of the youth,
here now, soon no more,
lessons never learned,
the call to war,
to common the roar,
complacency the mood,
another generation removed

The old man agonizes
over what was originally not known,
war is preventable,
life too precious to waste,
the solution simple,
his vision, maybe too late

Send old men to the front to fight,
arthritis, heart disease, poor eyesight,
let the youth enjoy their life,
his near over, its only right

Send old men, to the front, to fight
ask them to give up their life,
patriotism and bravado, still alive,
will and desire would not last the night,
old men do not rush to death in their twilight,
failure inevitable, the old man smiles,
knows he's right

Wars not possible,
if old men, are sent to fight


Details | Free verse | |

the Rose


                 The Rose innocent white, soft pink, yellows 
                colors touch your soul vibrant red to amethyst

                enhances beauty yet a thorn awaits to break skin
                as life does piercing your heart with a thin pin.

                My life has shed drops of blood through each petal
                 as if in return for the love and beauty you feel

                hence pain underneath patiently waits the bloodletting ~

                The rose symbolizes love yet vulnerable to hold
                for when you open your heart it can be left bleeding

                The best of surgeons can not beat your heart
                It is the inner faith and God himself whom gives strength 

                whispers in your ear you shall live you will exist
                your life meaningful as the water and sun to the rose

                 For I am your God  your existence is not over yet .
                        You must Live ~You must Bloom 
                       
                 


Details | Free verse | |

The city

It is a city with its lurid lights lavishing upon the night

Products hawked in gaudy neon

Street lamps form uniform circles upon the pavement

And traffic signals repeat themselves across the landscape

A man with flat eyes pulls a blanket about him 

And clutches his dog, he puts his shoes beside him

As if remembering when he had a bed

Whores mingle by the fire plug and eye the traffic

Their dignity sold by the hour 

And I walk there toward the same places

As every night

 

Jimmy told me that you came to the café

Even though you asked him to say nothing of your visit

He said you sat at our table and read a book

He took your order of a coffee and asked about me

And he said you looked very sad in that moment and shrugged

And so each night I walk past the café windows

Peering in like a street urchin and praying

To see your face or that you will look up to see mine

But you are not there

And the excitement of hope drains from me like wet ashes

 

I go to St. Joseph’s in the village 

And sit in the dark corner below the choir loft

Hoping you will come as we did each Sunday

But you do not.  You do not come

And I am happy to be in church

To pray for you, that blessings fill your days

And that I might be one of them

Then it is the garish flat where we knew love

To sit by the window and watch the night

Gather in the city like a troubled infant

And to dream of a soft knock at the door

And for our love to come home


Details | Free verse | |

Last Kiss

Open your eyes to the ever turning skies 
I want to here with me through the night 
My heart yearns into your soul 
Burning as if newly lit coal 
I bravely submerg the embers 
That the time I have can be spent with you 
And I remember each kiss every moment 
I was caught in your love that for just this day I remember 
So what happened was a chance for your love 
A time that I kept in a locket tied with a kiss 
 I wanted you to feel, to love, to slumber 
And to awake in my arms with that times kept bliss 
I lay silient in an umber


Details | Free verse | |

DIAMOND DUST, DEVIL

into the mysterious Cloud Water Valley haunting echoes of dead ashes filling the voids of empty hearts lies a soulless spirit -------------- A Transformed Valkyrie from once a beautiful maiden sweet voice giving Elixir of life conquering the hearts of many knights.... falling for One -------------- A King of Hearts holding the legendary sword "Diamond Dust" a warrior on the outside, a lover on the inside eloquent poet of the Arabian Nights.... love tugs at his heart -------------- A Wild Violet she never knew he belonged to the Devil dark eyes stalking, blood tongue licking.... anticipation calculating approaches, planting tactics towards their ends --------------- The Devil in Disguise clutching the soul to her falling heart in her hands ---the knight's grey ashes light turned dim in her eyes.... from sparkles to cloudy.... from gloomy to darkness there she lost her soul, becoming a Valkyrie ......


Details | Free verse | |

over and over agin

sometimes i talk to myself, 
my mind is racing,
i dont know what to do...
so hard to explain.
depression isn't a stage
or a faze some kids go through
it shatters you...
i saw it all. 
she cried silent in her bed,
blood stains covered her favorite jeans,
her every shirt,
long sleeve ofcourse...
she suffered through it all with few people to call friend
and more to call enemy
even more to say where quite dissappointed....
FAT
her first name in school,
not started by a bully
or a mean rival,
but by her sister, 
and it echoed through her soul,
repeating in her mind... over and over again,
like the ripples of still water
when a pebble is dropped
flash frozen in time
repeating,
over and over again...
It was the first name they gave her,
millions where created over the years,
some unique
some repeating again, just as the first had..
gothic they called her,
emo, fat, ugly....worse things.
but in her mind, things where worse.
everything was repeating,
over and over again,
finally she believed it. 
she asked for help, from everyone
tried to explain to parents she wasnt well,
got called a psycho for asking to see a theripist,
not from a teacher,
not from a class mate,
but from her own father, who wouldn't, couldn't,
believe there could possibly be a thing wrong....
finally, crying, she confessed her bloody secret to a teacher.
rather then giving her time,
she is sent back to class crying her eyes out, as if she wherent going through enough...
she is sent to the principals office a few minutes later, after breaking down in class...
the princlipal says she needs help,
sends her and her dad for a risk evaluation,
her dads crying as she shows him her cuts...
they walk into a hospital room, 
it smells of chemicals and hand sanitizer,
the lady at the desk gives her a smile.
then she goes into a room with a lady,
her cheeks are sunken in and shes wearing way too much makeup,
the girl is gaging on her perfume,
and she looks really intimidating....
her dark brown hair looks dead and flat
even though its a bit wavy, 
and she wears somewhat of a mocking frown.
asks her all these questions,
is mommy beating her?
no
is daddy raping her?
no
is she doing drugs?
not alot
is anyone beating her?
pass...
did anyone molest her? 
pass....
oxcarbezapine, trazadone, citalipran, clinazapam, colonipan,
valium, lithium, more.......
and thats what they gave her,
more... 
some numbed the pain
some brought it out
tearing through her organs,
she became an addict by the time she was fourteen....
over dose after over dose
some for pleasure
some for pain,
gashes on her legs getting deeper,
this time she didnt tell a soul,
not even those she had come to call friends....
wakeup she screamed in her head over and over again
as she dropped weight like it was nothing....
you cant controll it she argued as things became worse. 
at age fourteen she attempted suicide,
she didnt quite succeed.
the medication took away her aappitite....
she liked it
she hated her body
hated herself
felt out of controll
found a new way to cope
as she shoved tooth brush after toothbrush down her throat
to keep her body from nuitrients...
as she whent weeks and weeks spitting food into napkins and making excuses 
I ate at my friends house....
spoken as a whisper
heard like a sentance
echoing in her mind over and over again,
along with that word, all the words,
FAT!!!!!!
ugy, anoying, stupid, fake, worthless, nothing...
one bite she would say
rocking back and forth
craving nothing but food
her body racked with hunger pain
one bite and there she was again
FAT!
over and over and over again
back to a toothbrush
this time she sees blood
she saw her ribs
she saw her bones,
it wasnt good enough,
she almost died, again....
choking on this deep dissappointment in herself,
gaging on everything they where pushing down her throat, 
their words, and their insults, their criticism.... their drugs
all shoved down her throat like candy
and just as she was was trained to do she swallowed despite the bad taste
or the hurt
or the fact that at the rate she was going she would be dead soon...
and you know why? 
because daddy yelled 
and couldnt accept what was happening
not because he wanted to hurt her
but because it hurt him,
and she let him believe,
because she could take the hurt if it meant he didnt have too.
because mommy didnt want to sit in her room all day
smoking weed
doing nothing,
practically having us raise ourselves,
she didnt mean to take anger, or frustration or hurt out on her daughter
she suffered everyday in her solitary confinement,
and from a young age she accepted her bedroom was the cage
 her mother had created for herself.
because sister didnt want to effect her the way she did
she was just frustrated
fed up with the way things where
scared, she needed someone to take her cruelty
and to help heal her pain...
because people in school
who where so cruel
had to have learned from somewhere
and she wasnt going to play into their games,
and they knew she was an easy target
because she would never attack someone so weak
and she accepted her suffering was a sacrafice
to help all these people....
to help her dad,
her mom,
her sister,
every person who was beaten abused or hurt
 and felt so weak at home they wanted to feel strong in the one safe place they had.
because depite the fact she had died inside,
and almost passed away on the out,
it was a saccrafice she was willing to make
so that no one else would have to feel that kind of pain,
and they all inflicted it and broke her down'untill there was nothing left but a shell
of somthing that could have been
and never had the chance
and why? 
because she would take it and wouldnt strike back,
because sometimes "just taking it"
isnt so much about the weakness not to do anything
but about the strangth not to hurt others the way they hurt you...


Details | Free verse | |

Glisten in the Moonlight

Your glorious emerald eyes 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Delight dances in the water
I watch it joyfully
You are set free from the cage...
You're like a dove soaring in the sky
You are the rain...
drizzling down in ecstasy 
A hint of ecstasy is shown in your reflection...
When you caress me... I'm relieved... 
From the stress that forced me in chains
I knew we'd be on the brighter side of tomorrow 
We're glistening in the moonlight 
I knew we'd become candles in the heavens above us
We're glistening in the moonlight
For a moment, I felt your presence...your radiant with sympathy 
I saw at first glance the dark side of you
Tonight, we'll be together and fly through the horizon 
We'll watch the sunset say its last goodbye...
We'll wave a greeting at the moon! 
We glisten in the moonlight...
What if I was as handsome as the lion...
Roaring with pride and pure courage
What if we were glistening in the moonlight?
Would it bring health to our bones tonight?
Would it make our heart rejoice and overflow with delight?
Would we be able to survive this horrifying plight?
Would we be shimmering like a candlelight?
We're glistening in the moonlight... (6)
Ohh...yeah...ooh yeah...ooh yeahh...
We reach to the stars and hope we can trace a shooting star
I feel the coolness run down my fingers...
We're glistening in the moonlight
You're the dandelions in the fields
You're the gorgeous view that I marvel at everyday
When you kiss me, I live my dreams
We glisten in the moonlight
In a quick moment, I sense a feeling of endless renewal 
I roam inside of your illuminating maze 
Glow on... sunshine... 
Glow on...sunshine...
Glisten in the moonlight...
Listen to the truth and rub it in
You are ravishing like the sunset
But you're ascending while I'm descending
I feel extremely guilty
I wish I could glisten with you in the moonlight
You're glistening in the moonlight (6) 
Ohhh yeahh... oohhh yeahh... ohh yeahh
You're glistening in the moonlight (4)
We go our own way
I wish we can glisten like the moon
Glisten like the sun 
There's a dream concealed inside of me...
Reveal your light and pour it upon me
You glisten in the appealing moonlight
While I'm subsiding... you're fulfilling your dreams
Of gliding across the horizon 
You're independence... keeps on scorching with satisfaction
While I'm below you... 
Your emerald green eyes
Stared me down like a hawk...
Your emerald eyes
Gaze down at me genuinely...
I wish we could flee together in reality...
That could be a possibility
To glisten in the moonlight in glee
We were glistening in the moonlight (3)
But that was only a dream...
I'll pray that it turns into a reality
We were glistening in the moonlight 
Now, I've misplaced my delight...
Will I ever experience such a brilliant night?


Details | Free verse | |

Tell Me Why

Why?
Why?
Why?

Tell me why?
Tell me why?
Tell me why?

Was it, because I was too nice,
I was too much of a gentleman,
or was just too much to handle?

Was it, because you were young?
Was it, because you couldn't find your heart,
in all that darkness?
Was it, because you just didn't feel the love?

Why?
Why me?
A man like me, deserves no pain,
no heartbreak.
So, why me?

I pray and ask the Gods,
why!
But an unresponsive god never speaks to me.
He sits there and watches... watching what?
Nothing, but a heart being torn to shreds.

Was it, because I was too careful?
Was it, because I loved too much?
Was it, because one half of the heart couldn't fit the whole?

I ask you, because I still love you.
Come to me, my beautiful,
stop this nonsense,
I cannot make you love me,
but I sure can try to show you love.

Do not blink,
do not take a gift sent down from the Gods
for granted.
Appriciate what you have,
appriciate me, because one day,
when you need a shoulder to cry one,
you will not be able to find me, anywhere.
I will be lost,
in a fool's dream of romance and love,
that will never come on my front doorstep.
Still dreaming of the possibilities of you and I.
My heart is with you always,
but I will soon expire,
so do not wait too long.

-10/5/2013


Details | Free verse | |

Only in You

Through the lonely woods, I may head,

Upon the autumn leaves, I may tread,

At the secluded horizon, I may stare,

And only you, I may see,

In those symphonies of silence,

In those melodies of calmness,

In those euphonies of quietness.

 

By the silent lake, I may lay,

Till the twilight fades, I may stay,

Then in reclusive silence, I may walk,

And only to you, I may talk,

Through those toungueless emotions,

Through those wordless attachments,

Through those voiceless sentiments.

 

In the lone meadow, I may wander,

Along the untrodden paths, I may waver,

In companionless seclusion, I may hide,

And only in you, I may find,

The depths of oneness,

The bonds of togetherness,

The cozy feel of coalescence.

 

In the wilderness of emotions, I may die,

At the merciless daggering, I may sigh,

Through a million wounds, I may bleed,

And only in you, I may seek,

The balm of love,

The warmth of affection,

The heal of inseparability.


Details | Free verse | |

IF ONLY I COULD CATCH THE SUN, ever so softly


I try to ignore the squirming Hyde within 
And, with effort still,
I raise myself for the last traces 
of sunshine and fun.
What was left of the day, I savor for me. 
As the withering leaves of silence
have perfected the petals of stillness,
A quietude.
Such absence of sound
Never a serenity to the mind.
Disturbing solitude haunts.
Loneliness seems vivid as reality speaks 
Even the poignant sadness never parts
Solitary confinement paints an art.

Like the spectator in a thousand theatre plays,
 I achingly wait for the final curtains to part.
Then, as always expected -  
Left were the 
    dancing curtains 
       together with the late sunset wind. 
Tiny golden flecks 
   imprinting on the soft white 
        laces and trims.
Catching shadow images 
    of the last rays of brilliance, 
         blending slowly in yellow embers,
              forming orange coals, 
                   turning into sunkissed glow 
                         of a sad goodbye. 
Then,
    ever so softly fading
           into dullness and cloudless cold. 


And as the night falls, 
its shadowy self dances 
against the moonlit music of silence.
I listen and search still 
   for what is left. 
No traces of the sun 
whose magnificence and radiance 
had touched the leaves of laughter 
during my daytime slumbering; children frolicking, 
    early had the mind sensing. 
And, gone astray were the seeds of kindness 
    the day had grown.
It seemed they were sown 
    by someone I wish I had known. 


If only I could frolic 
    where little lads had been early today - 
        in the meadows, 
           by the pond, 
              along the shores, 
                  around friendly trees and smiling flowers, 
                       with the meadowlarks and chirpy games, 
                               I’d give away anything.
Basking in the sun on such a lemony day, 
someone sulks to find it's an emotional burn. 


If only I could catch the loveliness of the sun, 
I'd give away anything. 
ANYTHING. 
Just for something this grand. 


The mind wills but the heart groans. 
A moment of joy and laughter, so fleeting.
Forgot me, gave away the troubles. 
Today could be A DAY,
If only, ever so softly,  I could catch the sun.



Details | Free verse | |

The Lion's Tale

Hear the Lion roar above the rapids

Hear that Lion roar;

But what if this Lion would roar no more?

And nothing was left for him to roar for.

His home is gone; His land been taken; His children ran; His life forsaken;

And though the Lion may roar above the rapids; That will be the last we’ll see

For if you can not be happy then why bother being free?


Details | Free verse | |

Without You

I have just promised my eyes that,
I won't see morning without you,
I have promised the roads that,
Walking without you should be a punishment,
Listem,these are my emotions,
My heart says that desire is to live wih you,
I have promised the wind that,
Without you I should be separated from my breath,
You are the ground on which,
I have formed my world,
Where shall I go without you?
You are my support,
I live in your faith,
I won't be able to live without you,
My every talk is because of you,
You are my sunlight,
And my rain is from you,
Without you the clouds should not shower,
I have promised them,
If your hand is in mine,
The lines on my palm have heartbeat,
When you are separated,the world stops,
When you are close to me,
I believe in my existence
When you are separated,I am lost,
You are present in my habit,
I tell you the truth,
You are worth worship for me,
I have promised prayers,
That no prayer should fulfill without you…


Details | Free verse | |

Thoughts of You

Random thoughts of you run
randomly throughout my mind,
as I hold, looking through a simple picture of you and I,
smiles and holding each other,
embracing warmth brings me to sanity,
watching your hand on my forearm,
as you gaze into my eyes.
Oh the tears flood such emotion,
only you and I now in such madness we call love,
such madness we all call life,
such madness we all call reality.

Thoughts of me without you,
I cannot bear to see such a sight in mind,
to hear such words that tear my heart out
and sadness stabs me rapidly in the back,
and I can't bear to see such a sight as this.
Thoughts of you
running randomly throughout my mind,
my hair turns silver and white with stress
of not being with you,
and my liver covered with cancer,
and lungs black with smoke,
and stomach embraced with ulcers.

All I ask for you,
is not to be a thought anymore,
and come back to me in flesh and bone
in a portrait painting of you in reality
come to me with your beauty and glory
and kind heart and hold me again,
and let me kiss you again and love you again,
and call you mine again.
Don't say it is impossible,
when you know and I know,
that it is in fact possible
to love each other once again.


Details | Free verse | |

Don't Try It

A single kiss from thy lovely lips,
so sweet and so divine,
yet I taste posion upon your tongue.

Your beauty so glorious,
like a blooming rose so beautiful,
yet, why do mine eyes go blind
in the sight that you walk along with another?

Yes you, walk with another,
arm under arm,
lips touching lips in romantic kisses,
it makes my blood boil,
for mine lips are dry.

For mine eyes have seen your glory,
yet no one here listens to my story.
You are evil, yes you are,
don't try to deny,
Listen to a man of experience,
you might as well save some expense.

I write of our long romantic walks
we took together, under the shade of olive trees,
how we went apple picking in autumn time,
and made love in the foyer.

Nomore of that sweet and passionate love,
nomore silent kisses in the night,
when the wind blows hard against the branches,
that tape violently on my windowpane. 
Nomore somber tears shed, when you got sick,
and nomore warm embraces when you shed tears of betrayal.

Betrayal now is a game played by a fool,
such as I,
to think I'd have a happy life with you?
Huh, only a fool would think such a thing,
but now I sit, looking at the foyer,
where we once made sweet, passionate love,
nomore will that foyer be filled with exotic pleasure.
Nomore will you be filled with smiles and exotic pleasure.
I've done my job, as a good man shall do,
now pack your things and get of my stage,
the spotlight yawns for anew,
and the audience grows tired and restless of you.

Now I live life anew,
you too shall see life in new eyes,
walking hand and hand with the blond, blue eyed devil
you call your own.
Shall he take one kiss from your lips,
and die of the posion he tastes on your tongue,
shall he go blind, when he sees your true, black beauty?
He will see the ugly soul, covered up by white rags,
and cheap makeup,
and then he will come to me,
and shake my hand in condolence
and say, "You were right!"

Now you are all alone,
looking for another, as you did many times before,
Now you are alone, walking an open road,
spying on another,
fear of being alone.
Now, you see when you play games with a good man's emotions,
don't try it,
because a good man is not meant to be toyed with.


Details | Free verse | |

Make him a soldier

Make him A Soldier


Make him a soldier 
so I won't cry anymore

Transform a boy to a man
 so he will stand...alone

 In the dark forest
 beaming 
as natural combustion of dusk in the sky 


Red blood running through our veins is the same
identical as if we share the same DNA 

And even as a child I couldn't deny how our hearts beat the same 

Rate pulse pace...boom 
it startled me
 but as I gaze in his eyes 
I felt a deep connection 
as if he knew me better than I knew myself
 
White
Our love is so pure and shall never be tampered 
and even if life tries to poison us 
we will always have each other 
pure love
 
Blue water
 a million miles away from me 
and as he travels from sea to sea 
I think of him daily 

I try to remember where we came from
 blue water 
shared space 
different times

 Blossomed from a tulip where our petals do not vary 
and the sepals seem to follow a course set to sail 


So I beg you 
Make him A soldier 
so I won't cry an ocean of tears 
Transform a boy to a man
so he will stand beside me in my darkest hour.
 Help me to raise my head 
when he is long gone from here 

When my fears are red 
 my soul turns blue 
let me remember the purity of us 
how I loved a my brother a man of red, white and blue!


Details | Free verse | |

THE LONELY HOUSE

Walls shattered, roof falling apart Dark, desolate and dreary A haunted house with zero activity. Very lonely indeed! An unclaimed property The land acquired by the city I have seen the lonely house Bulldozed to its death! Where’s the soul’s house, I surmised I heard it loud and clear: Where I sat Trumpeting laughter and life Spewing boundless energy! A bench where the house once stood An epitaph reads: “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life”


Details | Free verse | |

Distant Love

The hours dwindle slowly by- 
When I want you by my side. 
Longing to feel the warmth of your breath 
As you kiss away my pride. 
 
The anger melts away, 
When I'm held within your arms.
My balance quickly faltering;
As I fall for all of your charms.
 
The weeks are always longer-
When I don't get to have you near.
Wishing that I could run to you- 
The distance heightening my fear. 
 
The hours go by rapidly-
When you are finally home. 
 Leaving me all by myself;
With my thoughts to roam. 
 
The cycle starts all over- 
I'm wishing that you were free. 
Longing to feel the warmth of your breath. 
Until you come right back to me. 


Details | Free verse | |

Loneliness

Sometimes I feel that nobody cares 
Sometimes I don't know why 
It's so hard to cry 
It's so hard to say it 
That I'm afraid that I would lonely die

Loneliness is killing me 
It is cutting my body veins
It is stepping on my pride 
It is making me feel there is no God
There is nobody by myside

Loneliness is a damage 
With no mercy It is crushing my soft heart
Which is like a singing bird 
That was killed the next day on my bed 
 
I walk among people 
What a happy person you are they say
They don't know the pain is deep inside 
I better keep my smile this way

They look at my home
What a nice room it is 
I look at these white walls
I just want to break them down 

They look at my bed 
What a comfortable bed you got they envy
I sleep on it 
It feels like an empty pool full with tears 

They look at the candles in my room
How relaxing and romantic you are they tell me
They don't know when I light them up
The more desperate and lonely I get 

Loneliness is winning this war
But when I wakeup in the day
I forget about my failure
I start killing loneliness by doing things on my way 

  


Details | Free verse | |

Sitting Alone

Sitting alone here,
all by myself,
looking at a reflection that I do not recall.
I see a face looking back at me,
a twin,
but not my twin,
no I see a pale face,
I see jealously, pain, sorrow, and a frown
I see all the negative.
I see fear,
I see nothing.

I am sitting alone,
in my room
white walls surround me.
I hear the trains blow their horns off in the distance,
and the cars and trucks roaring down the lonesome highways.
I can even the crying and wailing of sirens
blazing down the avenues,
"Where is the fire, folks!?"

The wind blows through my window,
moving the blinds back and forth,
and I sit there alone,
smiling and singing a little.
Sitting there alone,
peaceful and tired
wanting to rest my head,
but scared too face the nightmares.
Too hear the voices of the dead
call out my name.
And I sit there alone
thinking of what once was,
beauty and harmony nomore
in my trial of certainty.


Details | Free verse | |

Reaching Out

 
my mind feels cornered again
every thought has me hanging
on sanity's edge

i reach for you
this ringing in my head
offers little hope
as it echoes
through the phone

a momentary pause
before the pre-recorded voice
the usual message after the tone
as the tone of mood changes

i can feel my emotions
fall like shadows
on lonely walls

my air is heavy
like these blades
that press
steel force
against my flesh

a drop of blood 
trickles down
pulsating 
to the tune 
of my heart's beat

darkness draws its line
between life and death
and feeds my thoughts

death dances at my door
and i can feel its cold press
as it cuts through me again
like a blade's edge
steel-force


my version of the poem
Leave a message after the beep
 by Just That Archaic Poet


Details | Free verse | |

Somber Tears

As the sun sets
and the twilight comes out,
as the birds and squrriels are no where in sight.

As the whores and pimps sit on street corners,
waiting for street lights to turn from green to red.
As cadillacs stop and roll their windows down.

I can her the faint cry deep in the darkness,
of dirty gutters and dark, dead end alleyways,
I hear the faint tears fall and hit concrete pavement.

I feel the faint cries of whores,
I hear the sound of backhand hitting face
and brused tissue and broken noses are everywhere.

And the somber tears fall onto pillow cases,
and white motel bedsheets run red with blood
and cheap Italian wine.

And you can her the poet over the radio,
reading his own work for the one millionth time
and you can hear his soul slowly wanting to die.

He drowns himself in smoke and alcohol
the whore takes her pay, or spends a night in a jail cell,
the pimp nowhere to be found,
with a shiny blade stuck deep in his gut.

And the somber tears fall gently on the concrete pavement,
the floors of a jail cell,
tears on the pillow case and tears on a lonesome stage.

Tears never present, but are seen by many,
pain aches and pain takes away,
and I pour one more drink for the whore.

She takes me away,
and I caught her salty, somber tear,
and she crawled into my warm embrace.

I was the one who stuck the blade in the gut of that pimp,
who broke her nose and made her bleed,
with a cowardess and souless backhand.

I walk into the moonlight,
hearing the somber tears all around me,
crash violently to the concrete pavement.

The Earth rumbles and erupts with these tears,
that are shead for fellow Men, and Women and Children,
but we all look at ourselves and smile.

Happy we don't pay rent,
happy we don't have cancer,
happy we aren't six feet under;

But we still all cry,
Why?
Somber tears all fall in one big wave

crashing violently on the concrete pavement.
Now the red light turns green,
and the traffic moves along,
the whore is still at her corner,
the pimp still with the blade in his gut.


Details | Free verse | |

Depression

Depression

3 o’clock in the morning…
The sounds of bed frames hitting drywall,
The sounds of Chopin and Coltrane played
With a hint of sadness in tone.
Sounds of whores and pimps arguing;
“Where is the money, you whore?!”
“I don’t have the money!”
A sound of a slap to the face
A big hand crushing bone,
Blood everywhere
Red streaks on white walls.
The sound of drunks walking gloomy streets,
Police and ambulance rush down burned out streets
Sirens wailing, crying out!

A child, six years old
Crying, “Momma! Momma!”
Shedding tears over his dying mother, lost her soul to the
Crack pipe.
Rest In Peace.
A sound of a .357 magnum revolver click
And a gunshot shakes the nerves of many,
And for a moment the sweet and peaceful silence.

“Dispatch, suicide on 46th street Hollywood Boulevard, Send the Corner. Over.”
Then the darkness sails over
And the entire cities are showered with tears from the heavens,
But no one weeps,
Not a single soul…

-10/2/13-


Details | Free verse | |

September Weather

Ah, the september weather is here,
the trees turn firery red and orange,
and the leaves gently fall to the surface.

Fall is here,
and the grass turns from green to yellow,
the souls of many change their ways.

From going on beaches in sun
to walking on wet streets,
with jackets on.

September weather is here,
too most it is depressing to see,
such change in the world.

But I love it.
The girlfriends and boyfriends go away,
and that makes me happy.
Then I go apple picking.

I pick red apples,
from low, hanging apple trees.
and I eat one, while walking down the trail.

Fall is here,
the time of death,
the last of sunshine.

I don't argue,
I love fall,
it is so cosy and it gives me hope.

Hope that a day will come again,
when the sun pops its head out
and the warmth returns.

September weather is the best,
when summer is gone, but not quite,
and the cool breeze sweaps through your open windowpane.

I love fall,
it gives me hope,
that with death comes life.


Details | Free verse | |

My Notebook

Stimulating ideas pop into your head
You need a pen…you need a piece of lined paper 
It looks like you’re outtah luck…no wonder you’re drowning in dread
You need a shoulder to lie your head down for a moment’s rest… 
You need a helper…to aid you while you struggle emotionally…
I’m not trying to irritate you purposely

Try with all your might…try your best
To stay optimistic and fervent 
I believe that you’ll pass the test
Be upbeat, kindhearted and jubilant  

I appreciate the words you wrote on my notebook…
Sometimes, I feel like leftovers left on the counter…
I’m a rotten mess – you’re leaving me as if I’m an uninteresting book 
Sometimes, I feel like a coward – I don’t mean to bother…

But, you’re like no other . . .

You’re like a mat – you’re constantly stepped on…
I’m like YOUR unwanted tool – 
I stepped on you and
Pushed your buttons
I accused you of being the fool 
When, in fact, I’m the fool by your side…
You’re drifting…pushing me aside…

I’m writing words of truth though – 
Expressing how much I’m fond of you 

I esteem your presence
Glowing with glee 
At times, you do say things without thinking 
I’m the god of distress – 
You’re leaving me breathless 
Cutting me down like I’m some decaying tree
You don’t see how much you make me…
Guilty for your crimes
Taking the blame about the hundredth time 

At times, I feel that I’m awkward when I’m around you

You’re like a backpack – you carry everyone’s weight…
You’re like a sponge – soaking in our stress
I’m a distraction to you – you’re wasting valuable time…but don’t hesitate 
I’m writing words of self-centered feelings – logic doesn’t exist…
But these feelings aren’t as bad as committing a crime
These feelings come and go – I just had to confess 
I didn’t mean to screw up your progress…

Hey, if you need a few sheets of paper to right on, 
Use me like a notebook instead…and write with all your might
It seems as if you read me…like a book that drags on and on 
Use me as your tool of relaxation… and read me all night  

When you wrote those words on my notebook…
It made my day…you’re such a delight 
Like reading a fascinating, classic book


Details | Free verse | |

Street of Broken Dreams

There is a place far from here a land full of bitter tears, a place where lonely folks can go when they seek to mend broken hearts, and find lost dreams. A land of winding lonely streets, dark places where the sad ones come walking alone with shattered memories known only as the street of broken dreams. It is a land of bitter memories, dark dreams and broken hearts; a place far from here, where only the lonely can walk.... ...on the streets of broken dreams. The sun rarely shines on these stained walks, dark shadows mar their way... sadness and bitter tears are their signposts on these empty streets of broken dreams. Those who come may linger awhile, seeking to find their way, until at last their journey brings them... to the end of their street of broken dreams.


Details | Free verse | |

Shackles

SHACKLES

The loneliness wraps around me
Shackles me with its weight
My blood runs cold within me
I fight to stay afloat
The black dark clouds, they chase me
And try to take my soul
The tears flow freely from me
And I feel I lose control

In all the worlds emotions
This is the hardest one
For me to shake each morning
When I feel I want be done
The hours of night do leave me
And early morning calls
Memories they do haunt me
And my world sits still for all

The being that is in me
Is crying to be found
The feelings of denial
They hang onto their ground
The snakes of darkness strike me
And fill me with their fire
Their poison seeps within me
And makes my body cry

The sun outside is sleeping
In my half of the world
And deep within me stays there
I never hear it call.
One day Ill go and find it
Wherever it may be
In this world or the next one
Ill feel it shine on me

The emotions that are in me
They rage and ramp and fall
They crush my being beneath me
And never know your call
That dark black hole is yonder
Is lonely just like me
We may find  peace together
And earth can blanket me

Oh god, this lonely rotten heart
It feels intensively
So much pain it harbours there
Why can’t I just be free
I want to be away from here
And step outside of me
If only that were possible
Just like a break at sea

Its alright now, I’m calming
I know what this does mean
I know that deep inside of me
I’ve lived a thousand beings
Another life, if I should leave
Is just another dream
Another wasted life to me
To live emotionally. 


Details | Free verse | |

Drunk in the City of Angels

Drunk in the lost city,
lost in the vase beauty of the angels
drunk, smoking on park benches.

Freaks, trannys, whores and pimps,
looking at me;
a one of a kind.

No one has ever seen me on the streets of L.A.,
beacause I am a one of a kind,
a gentleman, a drunken buffoon.

I hurl myself at the bars,
and the whores look at me and smile,
and I wave them over, and they come.

40 bucks for a night a good fun,
a night of exotic pleasure,
in the heart of the sleeping angels.

Drunk walking,
two in the morning,
police stop me, sleeping on a park bench.

Warm always warm,
never cold,
the city that is lost.

A city known as the city of angels,
yet how many devils I have counted.
How much evil I have seen,
how much temptation rules in the gutters.

Walking drunk on madness,
in this dirty city,
as I look for a bar before last call.

I find one,
I go in,
order a beer.

I drink with pleasure
I start to write,
I light a cigarette and smoke.

A grey cloud forms around me,
"Last call for alcohol," the barkeep shouts.
I raise my hand, he comes over.

"What will yah have?" he asks,
"Another beer and my check."
On the house, free drinks, on the house.

After a night in the city of angels,
I find myself a cosy park bench,
and fall asleep, dreaming of the angels I had never seen.


Details | Free verse | |

EVERY LONELY COWBOY

In the old, wild west
every lonely cowboy
stopped to rest at a crowded inn
surrounded by bare
rocky hills; he blamed it
on the greedy pioneers.


Traveling wasn't easy, not because
of coyotes or deadly
snakes that hid, or slept
in the blue stern grass......
they had to look out 
for those Indians.


In the old, wild west
every lonely cowboy 
always left his loaded gun
close to his bed
for a quick draw...unless it was
a loud brawl coming from the floor below.


Details | Free verse | |

I lay sleeping

I lay sleeping with eyes wide open,
I lay sleeping with dreams that have no meaning,
I lay sleeping with nothing to dream about.
I lay sleeping with no care and sleep with eyes blind,
I lay sleeping, there with my eyes wide open.

Seeing the dark change from dark to black.
There is no moon, there is no sky
just purple strokes of paint in the sky.
Take that morning dew smell and close your blind eyes.
Smell the morning, that smell that clicks in your mind.
The smell of childhood dreams,
that as an adult never came true.
Sleeping bare in the nude with your eyes wide open.
Thinking of her, as she is five thousand miles away from you.
Wanting to love and hold her, but no use in crying.
Sleeping their with blind eyes in the dark that dances in the light.

Your lamplight turned down low,
as life trickeles down in its nightgown and yawns for sweet slumber.
Tired from longs days, and sometimes long nights,
wanting to curel in bed and close its blind eyes.
Dusk will soon peek its head through the blinds
and awake life to a new dawn.
She sleeps in the morning, and walks at night.
When he sleeps at night, and walks with a bare nude heart in the morning.

Life climbs over yellow mountains,
and meets her fellow compainion
a handsome fellow with broud shoulders and blessed with an ego
as I sleep there with my eyes wide open.
As I sleep with my eyes blind to what life has intented for me,
and as I raise to walk the lone streets at the break of the dew covered lawn
at the first sweet smells of dawn,
I can see life go on with the handsome man
and I blind and wanting to go to bed.

I dream of dreams that have no meaning
Gardens of cluelessness and raging emotions
tare me down and I am confused on which way to go.
Do I stay here and dream away, blind and half awake
as life slaps me across my broad cheek?
Or shall I walk on with life hand and hand
and regain my vision of the world,
Start to sleep with dreams that make sense
and dreams that are made of gold and have no end?
Dream of fancy dreams that show love and happy endings
I would love that, and I would love to walk with life,
but she is out of my leauge.

And my bed is so cozy and I feel like sleeping.
So I shall sleep on more restless night chashing life down.
I lay sleeping with my eyes wide open.
I lay sleeping with dreams that have no meaning.
I lay sleeping waiting for life to come back from the mountains
and lay beside me.
I lay sleeping with hope of regaining hope and salvage
what is left of my spirit at hand.


Details | Free verse | |

Alone

Alone. Silence fills the lonely particles that surround me. The whispers of the wind fill the void of the fallow surroundings. I call out to you, you push me away. I stand here with my arms empty. I call for the comforts of a friend. But you are not there. One of the only true friends that I desperately needed, is no longer wanting me. But I pretend not to care; I put on my fake smile hoping that one day it will become real. But the way things are now, my heart is shattered, my happiness destroyed. You continue to be happy without me, as I am left in the dark to try and fend for myself. The hurtful company of lonely voices call out to me, so I silently accept its sweet embrace.


Details | Free verse | |

Have You Ever Read

Dedicated to an author by the name of William Golding... Enjoy!!!


~Two boys meet on an island
~~One is skin 'n bones
~~~The other one is chubby

They discover a lagoon~
Ralph teases him by calling~~
him "Piggy" -  how mean!!~~~

Piggy asks him if
There are other people on 
The island with 'em

He has no clue
But this'll answer Piggy's question --
Other boys appear - 
All diverse shapes and sizes
What'll happen next??

You'll see...

Have you ever read The Lord of the Flies?
I recommend it if yah haven't read it yet - I must admit
It's a book full of adult words and it's simply...FASCINATING! - no lies
You should read it - or you'll regret it!



Details | Free verse | |

A Lighter Shade of Gray

In diminishing degrees of denial and doubt,
I find myself taking inventory of emotional stock
to scan it for inconsistencies:

Let's see...
Right now I feel…
Confused, scared, angry, vengeful, murderous, and demonic.

Yet also…
Calm, peaceful, nurturing,  merciful, caring, reassuring, and reassured.

Who am I to follow the yellow brick road
that lights the way out of Oz?                                        (my Wizard seems so far away…)

Who am I to question the path it leads me on?
These strange and unpredictable twists and turns,
tramples and tumbles,
ups and downs,
highs and lows…

I’m just a lost and lonely soul hoping to reconcile
the light and dark,
the white and black.
the generosity and greed
the spirit and flesh.

Yet I only end up compromising my deepest held beliefs
in the hopes that I may live a normal life
and carry on normal conversations
in a world that is everything 
but normal.

Full of lost and lonely souls, who like me,
only seek an understanding shoulder to cry on,
that could lessen this tremendous burden,
lighten this harrowing load,
and offer true direction
towards a lighter shade of gray.


Details | Free verse | |

Masquerade

You saunter through the double doors
Head held high
Chest puffed out
Putting on airs
You think you’re so clever, so deceiving
Showing up baring the most ornate mask
But I see right through
The mask that you wear tonight
You think it will conceal
You think just tonight
In this hour
You can be somebody else
But you’re dancing with the Belle of the Ball
This is MY Masquerade
And this is the 147th event
You just don’t recognize me
Because I wear a different mask each time
Your mask is cheap material
Sequins missing, feathers askew 
Such feeble attempts
I smell your bravado
Putrid and reeking, stinking up the air
But I see right through
I’ve donned masks my whole life
That’s why I am the bearer of this sash
That you see around my neck 
“Strongest Person I Know”
But I allow no one to gaze under the mask
Sure I play the Belle oh so well
But if you all saw beneath
Saw WHY I’ve had to wear masks
You’d strip me of my title
You’d rip off my sash
Break the pearls from my neck
You’d run for the door tonight
Quicker than Cinderella at the stroke of midnight
That’s the beauty of a Masquerade
You can pretend to be something you’re not
When one guise becomes worn
When it loses its sparkle
It’s glamour and charm
That first catches your eye
Well it’s quite alright 
Because I have a treasure trove 
BURSTING with masks
Grab another and keep dancing
Twirling the night away
Never skipping a beat
But when the music finally comes to an end
When the door closes and the final guest departs
Empty wine glasses are seen scattered all around
The only sound is the echo of my heels
When the confetti lies lifeless on the floor
That’s when I remove my mask
Exhausted, worn and weary
When I gladly, almost desperately 
Take off my tattered sash 
And throw it beneath my feet
Because I’m not resilient and strong now
I feel weak, frail and reclusive in my realm
That’s when the tears start to brim
That’s when I wish someone else held the title
So stripped and naked
Alone to clean up the mess
Everyone else has left behind
But there’s no one to there to pick up the sash
Just me and the sound of my tears
Echoing as they hit the floor
Almost fearfully I pick up the sash
Dust off the confetti
Smooth out the wrinkles
Before placing it back around my neck
As I throw my shoulders back
Standing taller than ever
Wiping away tears that no one saw
I walk back to my trunk
My trunk of the most decorative
Ornate, obscuring masks
Finding another to wear
As I prepare for the next façade
The next Masquerade 


Details | Free verse | |

Wake Me, When the Morning Comes

A night full of nightmares
and suicidal tendencies,
feeling pain rush, like tidal waves
crushing me and blood boiling
anger wishes and takes the best of me;
but can I heal my own heartbreak?
Will I ever find love again?
See the angel of death come to me,
smiles and says come with me.
Oh, Wake me, when the morning comes,
so I can show evil the light.

Feelings eternal and fragile,
she walks some lonesome highway
travelled by the ones who fall in love.
She a grand fool, who takes life for 
granted,
wake her with the morning light
and shine down rays of goodness and 
pride
and show her the path that leads back to 
me.

Wake me when the morning comes,
place her upon my doorstep
and a smile upon her loving face,
I'm not ready to move on just yet.
I don't want anymore nightmares
and nightly visits from the black angels.
I don't want to see blue eyed Death,
with his grinning skull and black robe.
I want to see the sunshine break through 
my window
and I want to hear the birds sing love 
songs,
and the trees dancing to the wind's sweet 
melody.
I want to awake to her sweet and glorious 
beauty.
Wake me, when the morning comes,
when I can open my eyes to anew
and see life in a new day,
and live life in a new way.

-10/5/2013-


Details | Free verse | |

Ignored

We talked,
But I wasn't heard,
We walked,
But you scattered,
We built,
But you destroyed,
I thought,
But you acted,
We were determined,
But you exterminated...

You were blind,
I was sighted,
You were darkened,
I was lightened,
I was myself,
You weren't yourself...

I was lone,
No one cared.

I was ignored,
No one cared,
About my emotions...


Details | Free verse | |

Last Sonnet



Hither I stand, at crossroads,
And then I gaze, at the yonder end-
The vague horizon from where I began;
And all that I may ever deem
Is that- my days
Have been a waken dream.

Hither I stand, at the edge of my dream;
Then I wonder, at the depth of my trance-
An adventurous journey through the wondrous woods;
An idyllic stroll through the vicissitudinous meadow;
And from the final station as I depart,
All that I can ever say, is that
Perpetuation has been a rouge
Of fleeting phases of my life.


Suyash Saxena 
St. Stephen’s College.


Details | Free verse | |

Moon Face

Moon Face
In dreams of you, I am sitting in a quiet garden Looking at the beautiful full super-moon. Night falls the garden is shrouded in a mist. The moonbeams kiss the blossomed flowers. The moonlight softly illuminates the beauty of her face. I look out into the moon I see her lovely face. She beckons me to come to laugh and love. We laugh, we dance and we love. The wind blows rapidly over my face. The moon softly whispers in my ears, The wind touch, the moon whisper reveals I am here, she is there, hundreds of miles between


Details | Free verse | |

A Long Time Ago

I threw my legs over a rusty barbed wire fence 
into a warm summer day a long time ago
landing  smack dab in the middle
of my now ancient childhood

A lonely bob white sitting on the fence
whistling his heart out, I can only guess
his seranade was a lonely plea
here I am, please, come to me.

Standing knee deep in prarie grass
grasshoppers leaping from blade to blade
the smell of the hot earth
rising into my face, oh I miss that place

A corn snake slivers back under the fence
escaping into the corn field
over the hard clumps of ground
of the tired, plowed soil.

The smell of rain in the distant sky
is only passing by
a welcome sight to behold
but not meant for here, not today

A lonley cow bell tells me now
old bossie will soon be here
as she makes her daily trek
through the pasture into the pond

Indian paintbrushes, blue bonnets too
puffy white clouds in a sky so blue
all come together and bring back to me
a warm summer day, a long time ago.


Details | Free verse | |

The Truth About Love

Love is not easy
Love is hard
Love is time apart
Trying not to drown
Praying to stay loyal
Holding on to lover's promises
Dreaming of reuniting
Crying tears of hurt and joy
Thinking of you constantly
Asking God for all the best
Love is difficult
Love is not easy
Love is hard
Love is faith
Love is hope
Love is trust
But love is beautiful
Oh, so beautiful
And love is worth it
Oh, so worth it
Love is in God's Hands
Love is protected
Love will come back again
Reunion again
For God is love
In Jesus' Name
We pray
Amen!


Details | Free verse | |

I Listened What You Hadn't Said

I listened what you hadn't said,
I made dreams without any reason,
I don't know whose evil sight has got me,
There is no place of mine in this city,
The pain is more than before,
I have made a promise with myself once again,
Eyes and path are both silent,
Now I can't talk like before,
My lips tremble,if I try to speak,
The secret of the heart can not be told,
There is an effect over me,
Though I am travelling,but I have no companion,
I kept going far,
I kept coming closer,
Once again she came into view,
Once again the matter was about to start,
The smoke from the past is prickling my eyes,
Your condition is not like me,
Why is there a little sadness in this happy news?
Why the same world is forming,
Which I have left far away?
It has once again come in my sight,
The past moments are aching my heart,
Though the fire had extinguished,
The wound kept on burning...










Details | Free verse | |

In My Community

Our Ancestors fought to the death,
Just so we can live a brighter day,
So before you light up that blunt of meth,
Think about what you’re giving away,
It was a glad day in history when Obama rose to victory,
The first black president was all we knew,
Dark skin is in!
Haven’t you heard?
That even in our community, 
You can get burned,
It’s a sad day when people would rather stay home and “Crank That Amber Cole”,
Than get up and run to a poll,
In our community,
Rockin’ Luis V is better than having a college degree,
And teen pregnancy is not only a trend,
But the single motherhood that follows should end,
Young girls learn of a wonderful prince to take them away,
Nothing should change thought their mothers prince didn’t stay,
And as the tears fade away,
She grows stronger every day,
In our community,
Fighting is no longer a word,
You argue with someone and shots are heard,
Girls showing places the sun don’t show,
So how do they expect the community to grow?
Where love is a figment of imagination,
Making a young child question her creation,
Young mothers would rather buy the iPhone 5,
Then satisfy her baby’s cries,
While her new man’s eye,
Wander up another girl’s thighs,
In our community,
Where #team dark skin vs #team light skin,
Makes others not love the skin they’re in,
Love, lust, hate, and trust,
Giving a rose on Valentine’s Day is no longer a must, 
Where bad is good and good is bad,
Who would think to see their grandmother sad?
Her hurt and pain,
Shows how our community has lost everything her parents fought to gain.


Details | Free verse | |

Peace

How queer the color of viscera
squarely foreign in my breast
To be the butcher and grim and goddess
All in one
Leaves identity succinct
Or identifies succinctness
If it has been
Then so it was always before

Therein is 'Peace'
Reposed and eyes rolling
Great, vacant saucers on vertiginous axis
She is quite the swollen beast
And on all fronts, she is terrible
If only you'll watch you may notice her growth
A malignant sort
An unwelcome appendage
I'd dash it out but I've already gone
Too pale and dogged in life to succumb
I curse her tenacity

She has a sister, I think
Or maybe a child
A child who lives down deep in my chest
A child who shrieks and tears down the walls
Perhaps she dislikes their pattern


Details | Free verse | |

Life Can Be Cruel

I cannot get into heaven
God I have tried!
Suicide is a double edge sword
Especially when you survive!
Walking the streets at night
Dazed and confused
Longing to be loved
Wondering...
When is Mum, coming for me?

"Does she still love me?"
"Does she still care?"
"Does she still think of me?"
"Does she wonder, where I am?"

I want her to come find me
I want her to say she 'loves me’
I want her to comfort me
I want her to take me home
And keep me safe
And not forget hat I exist
Like the way she treats me now

I wish God 
Could make my Mum
Magically appear
Making this hellish nightmare
On the street
Disappear!

“Send my Mum please!”
So, all this can end!
Before this last ray of hope
Diminishes for good!

I don’t want to become
The walking dead
Forever forgotten as if 
I was never born!
For this is the cruel, harsh reality
Of living life, feeling unloved
Uncared for, abandoned,
Left to fend for my own

A dangerous killer inside me
Eating away, at my soul
Something, no one can see
As I suffer in silence
My insides crippling!

Lost, alone and frightened
Weeping on a dirty
Graffiti park bench
Dirty tears
Rolling down my cheeks
Stuffing newspapers under my jumper
To keep myself warm

“What am I going to do?”

“Will I make it through the night?”
“Will I get raped and beaten?”
"Will I be left for dead?”
“Will I survive
To see another day?

“Is my life worth living?”

Please God, I beg of you
Have mercy now
Please show me the way!


Details | Free verse | |

I am alone-2

I am alone

I’m all alone
Yet again
In this sparsely populated plain
My dearheart having gone off the screen 
Giving me  a really nasty turn
To hit the sad way of the forlorn
But your love I never did spurn
Thinking of you in the dreamlands that burn.

And just once
Only once
Hand me my overdue recompense
Fill me  with an ounce of tenderness
Just strum these hyper strung weird chords
So I could moan thanks in all fairness
To the one beating the beast out of breasts
A prelude to  pulverising the pelvis
But your love I never did spurn
In Cupid’s fair, in fairylands that burn.

I will wait
At any rate
For whatever it is you deem right
To this one with a lot of blights
Turned inside out and flaming now bright
Crush to get crushed by taut thighs at night
But your love I never did spurn
Thinking of you in the scrublands that burn.

I’m all alone…yet again
In this sparsely populated plain
My dearheart having gone off the screen
Giving me a really nasty turn
To hit the sad way of the forlorn
But your love I never did spurn
Thinking of you in the dreamlands that burn.

16 Feb 13


For Cyndi Macmillan's " My spice box:Sensual poetry" contest

For Catie Lindsay's Freeverse contest on 6th mar 13


Details | Free verse | |

Leave a Message After the Beep

It's always hardest, when there is no one to talk to-
When I dial your number, and it just rings and rings
Until the dreaded "voice mail" picks up.
For just an instant, when there is that brief crackle and "click"-
My hopes skyrocket that you have picked up the phone and answered, when I needed it most, the moment I am most frantic...
But when, in reality, it's just that pre-recorded message that I've heard a million times before; how I loath it
And I feel my heart sinking, like there are anchors tied all around it, dragging it into the depths of my stomach!
Where are you? Can you not feel my desperation through the infinite channels of the universe, or are they clogged and busy, too?
Don't you know that I need you, perhaps now, more than ever?
I know you're at that fancy French restaurant you're always talking about, drinking fine wine and eating escargot, possibly dancing the night away.
While I am here, all alone, eating my own heart out for supper.
All I need, all I want, is a compassionate voice on the other end of the line, talking me down off the ledge once again.
Don't you know I've had too much to drink; that I am listening to sad songs and thinking about doing it again- that awful thing which leaves me so terribly scarred when I wake from my stupor? The cuts. You know, those things you hate to see marring my arms.
But I'll have to resort to self-will and self-control, of which I have so very little...
I may or may not make it through another night of melancholy and self-loathing.
Please, for the love of God, pick up the damn phone!

*Any Poem Goes Contest Entry
~JustThatArchaicPoet
 


Details | Free verse | |

What did I do to deserve this

What I do to deserve this heartbreak,
this horrid and unnatural pain,
this cleche of events that strike me simultaneously
as the time ticks away,
and as the grinning faces pierce a whole through my soul
and my heart turns pale and slowly beats.
My heart is torn in two,
and I cannot find the doctors to stich me up.
I ask an old man,
how does love go about,
he smaked me in the face and went on.
The pain and the sorrow,
it is too much to feel,
too much to gain in one serving,
When I eat, I taste posion, not passion,
familiar faces turn grey, with ruby eyes and sharp fangs
they hiss at me, like a cat to a mouse.
I don't understand why I deserve this.
I am a good man,
who loves with open arms and a big heart.
With every hug I give,
I recieve a knife of betrayal in my back,
I feel the blood ooze from my open wounds,
suicidal tendencies roll through my mine,
but I quickly throw them out,
because Mama didn't raise no coward.
I see the blow, I clench my fists
and swing away,
God cries wanting to stop this madness,
Death laughs and soon joins in,
people join in and punch away.
I lay there on the concret blood everywhere,
my heart torn out of my chest,
each with a thousand knives stabbed in it,
as it slowly beats,
I lay their on the pavement,
looking up to the heavenly skies,
and as it starts to rain droplets of hope
I ask myself,
What did I do to deserve this?
Then, I shall close my eyes
and rest for awhile.

-9/23/13-

Inspired by all the betrayal and heartbreak I've faced, by so many cowards who didn't want to recieve my love. People I had thought who were my friends, came with invitations of humiliation and hate, and now I see who my real friends are; this pen and paper... Have a good day.
P.S. No one should ever be shown this much betrayal and heartbreak. I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy. Have a good day!


Details | Free verse | |

Soy Sauce Spills

Soy sauce drains 
Into the white, clustered rice
Stepped on…
spills . . . 
Soy sauce taints
The whiteness of the grain
 It slips out of my hands
No use...no point in crying out in rage
Though I was starving, 
I'll just eat another thing and start on a new page

I'm hungry like a swine
I wish I can earn back my snack!
I'm as angry as a bull
I'm about ready to attack! Attack!
Soy sauce packages
Fall unto the dirty school ground
Stepped on
By bratty, conceited teens
They really need to eat their greens
Instead of junkfood and pizza
They should drink some water
Instead of drinking sugary drinks or
 Sucking on popsicles obnoxiously
Why did the soy sauce spill? Seriously....


Details | Free verse | |

Freedom in Love

Keeping my head up, treading water
Cut throat surviving, struggling
Going under, death visits
Will to live, tested!
Selfishness Vs Selflessness
A Greater Love, encompasses me
God demonstrating mercy, for his children
Learning about forgiveness, cultivating, inner faith
Melody of Love, one can experience
In the darkest, waking hours, of everyday living
Self survival, learning how to live
Peace of Mind, Peace of Heart
Peaceful Spirit, Freedom in Love


Details | Free verse | |

Faces of Loneliness


I stare across the concrete ocean.
People evaporate like raindrops 
in the heat of summer skies. Dreams of love 
become the vapors, disappearing before my
eyes. I feel alive in the pain; yearning 
pours from the depths of my soul, 
all I abhor…loneliness pounds in my head, 
stealing my every thought. On crowded 
streets, I feel most alone. Amongst nameless 
strangers I am lost, a foreigner without a home.     

Then, there is she. I see her glide 
through the faces. She, the perfect one, 
with her flawless graces, her flowing hair;
she is but a shell of beauty, bare skin hiding 
perversity, she woos with plastic smiles. Why 
do they flock to her, entangled in her shallow words, 
swallowing her seeds of lies? Her laughter hangs 
in the blue. Why do they love her as she mangles? 
Do I sound jealous? No…just lonely.
I wonder if she is lonely, too.

I walk further up the road where concrete 
turns to pasture. Feet fall under rich, 
velvet skies. If only I would disappear
into the darkness, surround myself with   
anguished souls who wear masks 
of day-to-day life, masks of lies. Trivial tasks 
dilute their hours, passing the time until sleep 
relieves despair; lonely faces blanketed until morning
light shines into their empty corners. I cross 
familiar ground, places blinded by shadows. 
Reminded, I am one of them.

Stained-glass yesterdays shatter, slashing 
promises…I fall deeper and deeper 
into my wounds, crashing. Who will rescue me  
from bitterness? No answer…
The deafening silence of humanity 
never explained. I hear only my own wails of mercy 
to God. Love never fails…I hear the words from my 
own lips feigned, and I realize…I have never known love.
Some crawl to their deathbed, eyes fall, lonely;
their last words whispered to no one. Is this my fate? 
I wait...No answer.           

         


Details | Free verse | |

Enta Eih

What are you (how cruel are you) isn’t it enough,
That you hurt me? Have pity. How cruel are you?
Why my love, is it so easy for you to bring me to tears,
And why do I accept that you hurt me when my soul is part of you,
And why am I accepting this torment at your hands?
If this is love, my misery is from it,
And if I am to blame, I cannot say never again,
And if it is my lot to live in torment,
I shall live in torment,
Have you no pity? Have you no shame that you cheat me knowing the love I have for you,
Is it not a shame, the passion and the years and longing that I am living for you?
Was the love lost completely? Or has it been a game,
Was the love and tenderness and my heart and faith in you all lost?
If this is love, my misery is from it,
And if I am to blame, I cannot say never again,
And if it is my lot to live in torment,
I shall live in torment…


Details | Free verse | |

My Love Intended

My love intended for the girl of my dreams,
she walks from side to side,
not knowing that I walk alone.

She is beautiful than any other thing in this simple world,
everything around her shakes and trembles
as she walks on by without a spare of a passing glance.

The wine is drunk
the last cigarette smoked,
the pain of heartache gone away.

It feels good to see her go my way,
to take the pain with her away from me,
as I sit in the wayward cafe on the river of ashes.

A beautiful girl she is mine,
but that course of life shall no surpass mine,
and my heart beats and takes me away
in hope of falling in love.

Irony of love and hate,
it is similar in many ways,
as I sit and think of her.

She angers me,
but when the vail of anger falls over my eyes,
the passion of love enters my mind.

Come now, take me away,
hold me in your beauty,
and love me with your gentle body.

Go into the gardens,
where the nightingales sing,
and sit at the patio's crossway.

Watch the artists paint pictures of the garden,
watch the writers write about the garden,
and watch us go and pick flowers in the garden.

The air smooth and wind breeze calms the nerves,
the pain of my sorrowed heart is soothed,
by her sweet intellegence and beauty.

Her eyes, orbs of blazing sunlight,
blind me with the beauty of her beauteous face,
her lips and skin smooth and pure.

She is glorious,
My love she is the dream girl,
who comes and takes my nightmares away from me.

As I sit on the park benches,
I light my last cigarette,
and reminicse on the days with my love.

I close my tired eyes only for a moment,
and the moment is gone,
my beauty is gone.

The tears are all gone,
the pain has gone,
the feelings of everlasting love are all gone.

Where did it all go?
Where did my beauty go?
Where did my love go?

All gone now, all gone now,
as I grow old,
the feeling of death takes me by surprise.

The park bench is cold,
the cigarette is burnt out,
I am longing for a drink.

I lay in a wayward cafe
drink a coffee and talk to myself
discussing a book of poetry.

Looking over to the right
I am blinded by beauty once again
this time this is no dream.

Alas, my dream girl came
that appeared in my sunny pleasure dome,
who has walked barefoot in the gardens of my mind.

She sat with me,
I looked at her
and we smiled together.

We held hands together,
and dreamed together,
forever and ever.

Love everlasting,
everything everlasting,
cigarettes smoked together.

A cloud over our heads
in the shape of a heart
my love.


Details | Free verse | |

Winds Of Change

So the leaves are falling now, and in color, are turning
While young hearts, from summer, still burning
Running through life, love's wings, oh how they're earning
They are growing, and life's lessons, they're learning

And so now a new day is dawning
Where things won't be the same
For in my heart, passion's spawning
Here come the Winds of Change...

Now something new awaits us
Just across the summer horizon
Taking over now, just fate's lust
Oh how the Winds are Changin'...

Loving more and more each and every day
Where hearts are running free, and never slowing
Will this feeling, just for awhile stay?
The Winds of Change are blowing...

Now the Winds of Change are storming
From across the sparkling western sea
New outlooks on life and love, they're forming
In a couple years, where will love be?

But what is it now that I'm feeling?
It's something pretty strange
My world is shaking now, and reeling
Thanks to the Winds of Change


Details | Free verse | |

To a Beautiful Stranger

Id like to think about the time when we first met,
Sometime about a year ago,
The words we said, our first exchange of hello's,
Something about, you know

I saw you just about all the time,
And suddenly because of you I was smiling again,
Though I can't seem to say when
You brought back the sunshine into my life,
unknowingly..accidentally

And though it's hard to define certain things,
Even now it is still confusing,
what am I to you..
but I know what you are to me
And how much I care about you..

But I must hide the love in my heart,
Beneath a laughing face.
And though you think I probably never cared,
I doubt anyone can ever take your place...

I miss you so much..


5.18.11


Details | Free verse | |

Like the frightened Jackrabbit, I run away from Love

Jump up and down like a jackrabbit
running through meadows
running from what?
Could it be heartbreak,
a venemous snake that hides in the grass,
hiding with fangs ready to pierce the tender skin
upon the tight, bronze flesh of everyday life?
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye now!
I need a vacation a long way away from the faceless smiles
and ignorance of young girls, who don't look at you,
who don't show you love and respect.
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye now,
as jumping spiders hop everywhere, crawling eight legs around me
my soul black like carcoal, but my heart still beating
slower this time, not like the days before
and like the jackrabbit running from anything and everything,
I run to seek love and vanish away from the empty voids
that people call, their souls.
Recording a film with no tape,
talking to a woman you love, but not having the guts to tell her how you really feel
Jump my boy, like a jackrabbit, take my advice
tell her before she leaves
turns down the endless avenues of endless dark love
the trees grow taller, taller than you
and you sit there feeling away yourself die, missing out in life.
I cannot see you lose your love.
Say it, say it, Say it!!! Tell her! Tell her! Build the guts up!
Build up the courage, tell her how you feel. Take her by the hand and never say goodbye! Never say goodnight, stay with her till the flight comes in the morning
of the first rays of sun shine through your dorm room take her and love her!
Do not be like me, the jackrabbit! I see no happiness
Reading poetry it makes me sad,
to write of others falling in love and I never finding the one.
People tell me, you'll find yours, have hope
but I am a frightened little jackrabbit
who flees from sounds of deep emotions, not having courage to fall in love,
not building the guts up to tell her how I really feel.
She walks alone, I find my oppertunity and sing my love song
She smiles and moves on,
please tell me I cannot fight anymore.
All I have to say is Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye
I need a vacation
to go to some sandy beach on an island of love
and write and write and write, the same poetry that depresses me
but makes you all fall in love with words!
Fiction about love stories, please kiss me
Blue eyed death comes, plays a game of chess with me
I bet twenty, he bets my soul
Kiss me death, the only love I'll ever get,
besides my poet friends who kiss my ass
Listen to my heart, truely, I don't write of beauty
I write for the sorrow soul, the fleeing jackrabbit
running away from love.....


Details | Free verse | |

Faces of Loneliness

From a derelict house, near the interstate pass,
with her cuff of chenille, she rubs a small circle 
to clear away grime from the cold window glass
Better to see now, beyond wooden rails, that have worn disrepair
for thirty odd years
and have fenced in, long hours of loneliness

There's an old pepper tree, that tosses it's head in an alien wind,
in a sea of dead grass, where a garden had been 
There's a face, weathered thin, from neglect and despair
she turns for a moment, to glance, here and there, 
a room she has known, filled with colors long dimmed,
where the silence shouts loud, not a question to ask....
but...wishing for something..., a chore, or a task
if only the phone might ring.....

Near the rail of the fence are two Rhode Island Reds
grazing around in the tall weedy grass
There's a cock on a post, in the shade of the tree
keeping watch on his kin, keeping her company, 
keeping tabs of a life that has come to an end
She will gaze in a lapse, dust motes fall to the floor,
in the still of the gloom she will turn once again
in the grim of the room...
There is still a dial tone, ....maybe the phone will ring....


For a mere month or more, a feral cat came her door
then had wandered the floors, neither friend or a foe
But he soon disappeared,  on the eve of the storm
She will call just the same.......just in case he can hear
"Here, kitty kitty"....."Here, kitty kitty", but she calls him in vain
While the wind plays the same dirty game...
Tumble weeds roll and bend, her eyes search through the wind
...as she waits for a friend
a friend never there....always due to arrive
so she stands by the side, of the old telephone
In the old parlor room, in the gloom of a long afternoon
Maybe the phone will ring....  




________________________________________________________
10/17/13 For Frank's Contest:" Faces of Loneliness"


Details | Free verse | |

There She Goes

There she goes,
a mile away from me already,
so fast to leave such a good man,
that showed her the world
and all its wonders.
Such a man as I,
does not need so much stress,
does not deserve such heartbreak.
I am a man who deserves smiles,
not heartbreak and pain.
To feel my heart race faster and faster
I lay at home with a smile
as God comes down to me,
shall I take his message and I shall dress
in such silk and cotton
and dance with the sun, moon and stars,
wait for a new woman,
steady paced woman she will come my way,
and take me by the hand,
like a fish to the bait onto the hook
up higher and higher she goes
into my net.
There she goes higher and higher,
farther and farther,
a mile further.
Love is strange,
just keep on smiling.


Details | Free verse | |

unfinished


i’m lost.

wandering my mind, hollow now.

secrets tucked in the seams, invisible to passer-bys.

each step leaves an imprint behind,

dust settling into the crevices left by my toes.

the world empty,

immune to stolen glances between souls and half-hearted exchanges.

peace swept away,

pushed to the side by an old broom of straw and wood.

oxygen dissipates,

I try hard,

harder to breathe.

but all that is left to soothe my lungs

is the empty, grey air,

void of the warmth of shared space
.

sometimes I sneak away

to send a fluid rush to my veins,

entrancing my mind in a fictional fantasy.

alone, I bathe in my secrecy,

cleansing my skin with vibrant truths.


Details | Free verse | |

A Mindless Society

Solitarily I stand,
In an attempt to understand the brutality of my brother,
And prostitution of my sister.
Each one for the survival of their own.

My thoughts are shielded by a dark cloud of confusion
As I begin to grasp society’s hold over our lives,
How we are classified by this very same society,
Each one in their own lane.

Lifelessly, we’re marching,
To the tunes of an off-key society,
In lines pre-conceived for us,
We have not a say.
Driven by naivety, 
Ignorant to the senseless violations of our clear thinking ability;
Propaganda in its ultimate state.

Murderer of joy is the society in which we dwell,
Lacking logic justifications is the society I once thought knew it all.
Abandoning me in my most vacant state is the society I once idolized.

I am incarcerated by is chains of deception and hate.
I defy all odds.
An endeavor to walk free. 
As they pace down my cheeks, tears cause controversial whispers amid society

If this is the norm of our lifetime,
I dread my days to come. 





Details | Free verse | |

No Party For Pity

 No party for pity. 
 Question the absurdity. 
 Friends, use discretion 
 if you get an invitation. 
 It's counterfeit. 
 Don't believe it. 
 Don't RSVP, 
 if you receive it. 
 Discard immediately. Don't contemplate. 
 It'll lead you nowhere. Don't save the date. 
 No early, late, or on time arrivals. 
 The doorbell is silent. 
 No lively dinner guests, 
 dressed in their best. 
 No hors d'oeuvres served on a fancy plate. 
 No thought-provoking conversations. 
 No guestbook to sign. 
 No vintage wine. 
 No catered food. 
 No live music for the mood. 
 No celebration for pity's pains. 
 No "congratulations,"  for complaints.         
 No party here. Discard the invitation. 
 Pity's alone, in bitter contemplation.


Details | Free verse | |

Walking Without You

I loved when you were there by my side, and I could feel you next to me, 
But it seems that time has gone. 
“Until death do us part” seems to work in this situation, 
You were dead before dawn. 

Preparing for the morrow is one of the most painful things when I don’t see 
you, 
You were always waiting for me with a hug, kiss, and a smile, 
But it seems those days have gone already, I don’t see your face there 
anymore, 
I’ll be walking on the face of the Earth alone for my while. 

I still remember the first time I saw your face when I was brought in this 
world, 
You held me close and loved me and spoiled me. 
When I was sad or afraid, you always embraced me with your warmth, taking 
the fear away, 
I’m just too lonely to stay here, don’t you see? 

You loved me with all your heart, and I never wanted to see you leave so soon,
I loved you more than any petty word could describe. 
Should I keep the memories, or move on and make a new life? 
It’s just too hard and painful to decide. 

I don’t want to forget you, but every time I remember the old days, 
I burst into tears and cry my time away. 
I wanted you to stay here with me until I knew it was enough, 
I wanted you to be here for me, for a little longer, just come back and stay. 

As long as you’re gone, 
I’m walking on my own. 


Details | Free verse | |

Side By Side

Oh it's a beautiful night!
The moon is full
And the stars are glowing
While the trees, with Earth's cool summer breeze
Start slowly blowing...

A campfire's flames are burning so bright
While a young couple holds each other tight
Warming their hearts, as these two lovers embrace
Traveling together, through time and space
Oh how tonight, with their love, they won't hide
Two lovers forever, Side By Side

Under the stars, both of them lay
They've been together, happy, all night and all day
Holding each other, a sweet caress
While green grass stains her pretty white dress
But no words, to each other, do they say
Happy just sitting Side By Side, knowing no other way

Gazing up at the stars
Breathing in the night
Them together with nature
A beautiful sight

All the years they've both struggled
And how they cried 
Has led them here tonight
It matters not now
As they'll lie here forever, Side By Side


Details | Free verse | |

When a Man cries Himself to Sleep

When a man cries himself to sleep,
it is a sad sight to see,
tears roll off his cheek
and onto his bed sheets and pillow case.
When you hear his somber cries,
you can feel his pain
when he wimpers like a child who treds in fear.
No one knows what they do to a man
when they play with his emotions,
lead him on,
take advantage of him.
They don't know what they do to an innocent man
looking for love.
They break his heart that is full of love,
they stab him in the back
when he needs them at his most vulnerable moment
they laugh at him, and tease him,
Do they know what they do to a man?
They slowly kill a man, who just wants a simple kiss on the lips,
they kill a dreamer, a good man, with a big heart.
They drive a man to his bed,
with tears running down his face
and force him to dream of nightmares.
When a man cries himself to sleep, 
it is that saddest thing to see.
Goodnight and sweet dreams...


Details | Free verse | |

Running Away

Tendencies intensify
To end a life that's full of lies
Without a thought was forced to hide
Sick and tired to win the prize

Burdens weighed down
Patience submerged
Determination disappears
Given up the war inside
Thinking its the end of the line

A place to survive is not what we see
Its in the arms of a Healer where we can confide and be free
As we conform to the world salvation sets apart
Resolutions forced us to run away and pull the gun

Make up the mind and understand
His perfect love cast out all fears inside
If love is clear and heart is open
No need to run away and die


Details | Free verse | |

Be the keeper of your pain

  This is Poetry , for the reader  INTERPRETs  , 


  Why won't you leave ?
     Isn't you whom betrayed me with your actions ?
  Do I really care to tally whom started which action or reaction first ?

  No, It longer matters you see 
     Thee thrill is gone in fact died in me
  Do I want to live with anger and madness anymore ?

  Please honor my wishes , and just walk out the door
     This time take all you have in which you entered my life with.
  I only want you to find peace and love in your soul of tortured memories.

  For these memories lie within you long before I met thee
     In innocence wanting to cure and love the soul within 
  realizing I can not save you nor be your keeper of all pain.

  I Love you , Yet Love is not going to save you through this 
    I let you go now let me go and let us be free .
  I no longer wish to live with the lies anymore , let me be free.  

  Only happiness will return with change , you will see.


Details | Free verse | |

My Angel

The Sun is setting and I
am still waiting on that
one thing to appear at
my door – love.
Time passes almost slyly
and thus my patience is
ebbing, like a river coming
to a stand-still in the freezing
cold winter where ice crystals
form.
The bell chimes a spine-chilling
sound making me jump and run
towards the source, curious to
find out the cause.
I turn a key that shines brightly
and there you are, my angel, standing
in front of me giving a heart warming
smile; your eyes shimmer like stars.
My heart beats almost hungrily wishing
for your hands to touch my virgin skin.
My mind is racing not knowing what to do 
but still I invite you in wondering what
will happen next.
Time seems to stop with every word
you speak, they enter my ears like
tranquil music.
Suddenly we embrace releasing
love and affection in to the
once lonely air.
Waves of pleasure surround
our bodies like water in
the sea crashing against
cliffs.
We become one in this once
dark and lonely place;
love servers the tie between
our once long forgotten souls.
For you, my angel, are my
one true source of comfort
and serenity.

Dedicated to:  Stuart Patrick


Details | Free verse | |

Welcome To Living Death

There comes a point in time
Where nothing matters
Where your vision is blurred
Where there's nothing but darkness encircling you 
Where love has lost and Fear has won. 

There comes a situation when you realize your hopeless,
lifeless, faithless, graceless, breathless, and  mindless 
mind has taken over and won. 

Where happiness is feared and sadness is embraced. 
 
Welcome to living death. 


Details | Free verse | |

Goodbye Forever

…Said the Mind to the Heart, we do not work together to run this place all we do is argue and fight.  This place use to run so simple and sweet then you came out your cage to take a peak. 

“I know this is true”, you’d plea to the rest of us Body and Soul, like fools we did listen as you said we’d be whole.    Against all reason yes you won that debate that we ventured on out and yes it was great!!!  

We have not ever since the birth of our seed been as happy as this to see you beat so hard and so strong.  As you reached out and grew stronger forged within what seemed an everlasting flame.  We took that happiness and strength that it gave and made that Leap of Faith as they say.

Now what happened then, oh strong Heart of mine, you were so filled with joy that it made us blind.  You caused us to believe that Love conquers all that we didn’t see the rocks coming out of the falls.

We hit and kept falling all bloody and beat but you continued to believe we would land on our feet.  We listened once more, although I petitioned to stop yet your Love was so strong that it crushed all other thought.

We hit and we sank in the darkness of the abyss and it opened our eyes while it weakened your grip.  Shattered and weak from the blood that you lost I picked up your pieces and put them back in your box.

I mended your wounds and bandaged you up but a piece still was missing you wouldn’t give up.  The cliff that we hit so hard still has a piece of your beaten up heart.  You left it there as a beacon of light to find your way back when you’re ready for flight.

My dear fragile Heart I cannot allow it as you wouldn’t survive another fall down it.  So we have decided us Body and all to lock you away in the depths of our Soul.  Poor mislead, barely breathing, yet you insist that it is not over.  

You’re blinded by Love even in your poor state but I pray you keep it that way so it won’t turn to Hate.  This is why you are banished and locked back away until we do pass or if Love brings your piece that you left back.  

For that piece is the key to unlocking these binds but be sure we will fight it with logic not emotion.  So sleep dear Heart of mine as best as you can for you won’t bother anyone ever again…….

And neither they you.

Author 
-JS- 


Details | Free verse | |

Celestial Mask

So many times, have I cried your name, and you do not answer. I know not your face nor your name, yet I only know you are a sir. Perhaps now married, perhaps still single, nevertheless, You are my big brother, the longing for you makes me restless. The labyrinth of my life, it is everlasting. Everywhere I turn, I find more sadness that becomes unbearable and strangling. I will keep my eyes open and wait for you, but even if you cannot return my feelings, please know, Us meeting was no mere accident, I believe God sent you to me to show, I needed a chance to change, a chance to smile! So those who like me now, they have you to thank, While, Those who despise me can kiss my derrière, Because I will not drastically change myself for them, so there! Don't you agree that it was fate? I could have met anyone else, but it was you who opened the gate. When I was alone, self-loathing because of how my relatives treated me, You comforted me and told me I could talk to you, and through tears, I can see, Wait for me... Please... We will meet once and for all, You are my savior who saved one child from the darkness that loomed over so tall. However, my heart is already the color noir and full of madness, corruption, hatred and sadness, But you have only seen the loneliness in my heart, the depression and suicidal thoughts, yet with you, the impossible was possible, it was my happiness... I shared my thoughts with a few others, but you are the first, the only one I truly feel comfortable not hiding from. Everyone else, for some reason, cannot be trusted or be burdened with this weight of incredible sum. But the reason I trust you the most, the reason I love you, is because you, out of all the people in the world, told me it was okay to... Be me... Everyone else after was far too late and by then, I would have been found dead in the sea. To cut out the heart that pains me, to shoot the brain that over thinks, to drown in eternal sadness or burn away the impurity of those who influenced me... To destroy it all and leave. That is what will happen, therefore, I cannot risk strengthening the bonds I have with others, for soon, I will disappear without a trace, because of what I believe. When I exact revenge on my family, I will be wanted dead and will have no further purpose. I will revert to nature's soil. So, my existence will be a nuisance and though I will plunge everything in a hectic turmoil, I shall not regret a thing. May 1st, 2013; 5:13 pm


Details | Free verse | |

A Lonely/Lovely Path

When I was a young woman
Just embarking on my own life
My grandmother departed and
Left me a special gift – 

A small, delicately framed
Faded black and white photograph
Of a long foot worn path running
Through a tall field of wildflowers
With a pointed church steeple in the distance
And in the bottom corner - 
In my grandmother’s tiny European scrawl -
A title – as I read it then –
“A Lonely Path.”

I knew she had given it to me
To remind me of her and the time
We had travelled together 
A few years earlier
Back to her childhood homeland
To the small German village where
She had lived with her grandmother
And walked this very path.

In my grief, holding the picture
The title felt fitting - as I knew 
From the stories I learned 
On our journey to the place 
Of her lost and sad youth 
That she walked a lonely path 
For many years of her life. 

Illegitimate, abandoned by her father
Even before her birth
Sent away by her mother who
Couldn’t live with the pain of 
Seeing her child’s face 
So much like her absent father’s
 
Only to be brought back later
Like a real-life Cinderella 
To care for her stepsisters
Until bravely leaving Germany
On her own at seventeen 
To find a new path to walk 
in America and a family of her own. 

And now, half a lifetime later
Recovering from long term illness
I feel pulled to revisit family history 
And realize upon studying 
The photograph on the wall 
In my front hall that I have walked by 
For many years now with a tinge of sadness
That maybe I had read my grandmother’s title
All wrong. 

Rereading the note taped on the back 
That she had written just to me - 
    This is the view from Grandmother’s house
    The meadow full of wildflowers
    We would hear the Angelus ring from
    That church steeple at six in the morning,
    Twelve noon, and six in the evening –
    That meant run home , no matter what play
    And pray the Angelus – 
    I still love to hear church bells!
I see now the title she really gave the photograph -
And maybe her life too - was “A Lovely Path”

And yet, as I continue to regard
My grandmother’s handwriting
I can see both titles reflected there, 
Like one of those images that changes 
Shapes as the light hits it from different angles
And I knew that her real gift to me was knowing 
that we each walk our own lonely and lovely path


Details | Free verse | |

Believe It or Not

Believe it or not

He swore by the day he sighted the earth
This step he took 
Was not aimed at piercing anyone
But to show his appreciation
At exactly the time (or on time)

Had he known the blessed wouldn't be pleased
With this gesture
He would have 
Hands down
And waved for naught

'What are my mistakes'
He asked
Cos his heart is mixed

This mind is now full with mix feelings

The memory of strange letters that gloomed at his eyes

Believe it or not
He had never wish for anything

If nothing will make him live a simple life
And meet his Creator in good shape
Then he will be satisfied with that hope
Than a hope of something 
Where he wishes for nothing

A.O


Details | Free verse | |

If Only I could, I Will

If only I could tell the sun to stand still to stall the date of your going, I will; 
If only I could tell the wind to stop moving that not a thing shall be able to fly, I will; 
If only I could turn every deserted place a green pasture so you would be exploring no more, I will; 
If only I could make every insult to sound like a joke so that one won't be hurt but laugh, I will; 
If only I could turn my every thought into an immortal song that without trending you'd be inspired to sing, I will; 
If only I could literally show how much love I have for you by physically opening my heart, I will; 
  
I could only wish: IF ONLY – because it will never will. 

Yet, the most I can do is wish: 
That I can hold back my tears at the date of your going; 
That the wind shall be its fairest for you to have a safe flight; 
That the place you are heading is the greenest of the pastures anyone would hope to settle; 
That you will be spared of any kind of mockery and insult from a discriminating crowd; 
That you'll be free from stress, fatigue, and discomfort; 
That mine thoughts that you ignored maybe a line of your favourite song; 
That the heart of the one you will find to love shall have a love, so true, like this love I have for you; 

Finally, if I shall be lucky to reach my old age, I hope to have the same consciousness even in  my deathbed, that before giving up my ghost, I still can make a wish – a wish that you never had to go so that I would had spent a lifetime with you . .... ... 

Date & time of writing: 
January 7, 2012 
11:03am – 11:57am 


the sentiment of a lover when true love has to be compromised in paving way to a beloved's call of fortune


Details | Free verse | |

But with the evil, came the good

All turned down to the worst
as the children lost innocence,
as the bums drank their last breath away,
as the man eating sharks finding their way,
to the over-crowded sandy beaches,
as the man turn to the woman
and gave her a slap across the face,
as the thef steals in the night,
as the coward goes behind his loved ones' backs,
as the oil lanterns spill over and burn the bridges
to salvation and paradise.
Something always happens to the good guy,
a knife in the back in the midst of dawn,
his woman leaving with another man,
he dying slowly of cancer,
or suffering from intoxication of the blood.
Poison. Poison, ravages his body,
oh, how could God let such things happen
to such a good man?
His life work, his social life, his nirvana
all destroied, burned away, turned to dust.

But with the evil, came the good.
Yes with time and time again
repeating itself in a circle of time,
across the crossed faces,
as blue eyed Death smiles
and as the girls grin,
Everything came into place,
Anyway with evil, came the good.
Indeed it had came right to his front doorstep.


Details | Free verse | |

Robot Monologue 27

       Robot Monologue 27

Hello!  Is anybody there?  No?
According to the papers found today
And rusting rubble everywhere
Time apparently had passed
The world abruptly ended
People and machines like me did not survive
The past is now what passed forever
Apparently I've been off line awhile
In my storage box a mile underground 
For months, most likely years
It’s just not clear when I came back to life
I can’t remember or it does not compute
Obliteration is not something to forget
I’m sure there is no cure or fix
There’s nothing left to do but walk in solitude
When the earth comes back to life again
A billion years from now
With man, machines and other oddities
To blow themselves to pieces
I’ll do it all again
Walk the world alone until it ends
Or go down with them like I’m supposed to
Like I was built to


Details | Free verse | |

Burn Away

BURN AWAY

We have all lost our way
To see starlight gazers
And men with broken hearts,
Seeking love in all of the wrong places;
Vacant lots, where women all looking for something,
But not quite knowing what they look for.
We have all lost our way.

The only hope of humanity
Is the shining sun
That breaks through the blinds of my window,
And the faint memory of me and her
Lying on our backs in a grassy meadow,
Holding hands
Looked up and counted stars.

Cities burn away,
Sky, stars, moon, sun all burn away;
The grassy meadow
Where we once lay, all burns away
Everything burns away,
Memory and desire and love all burn away
With the snap of a finger, and a new man
In her own life,
And I burn away.

A picture of her hung high and praised,
A picture of me, in a dark box
That collects dust, in some lonesome
And dusty, cobweb infested attic.
And I burn away with a new day.
I burn away.

A nightmare that I can’t awake from,
It is endless and repeats
When thoughts of her are all over my mind,
I cannot take such nightmarish reality
Too see her and smile,
And she walks away without a trace
Of ever returning.
And I cry,
And I burn away,
The tears wash the fire away,
And turn me to ash,
The wind picks me up and takes me away.

And for one peaceful moment,
I do not cry,
I do not burn away.
For a moment I am happy
And I smile,
And go away for a while
And let them all sleep in peace.

-10/2/2013-


Details | Free verse | |

To Thine Self Be True

Once there was romanticism within each line pleading to read between
in these passionate hues of rosey red 
The woe of my despair, the need of acceptance of sorts
driven by my abuser, who could truly care for me?!
I found rejection so brutal, 
as if I could truly show love 
And with each harsh word I held privately 
 though the sun set so spectacular this evening
So very melancholy
as the life of the tree so now becomes dormant
Life is sucked away from its branches
as it dies what bountiful hues fill the horizon where I sit
People pass by and marvel the beauty
and isn't it somehow strange we find such beauty in the dying?
Before long barrenness will fill these lands
And I think of how it relates somewhat of my own life
This dormant time where I could not show the beauty of my love 
as I covered it with emotions left in their wake
and oh, how I await for Spring to blossom on the hillside, and this side, 
where my gentleness and sincerity a day shall then bloom
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To  Thine  Self  Be  True


Details | Free verse | |

Faces of Loneliness

He was always dancing, no matter the time
and a smile and bow to whoever walked by,
then a skip and a hop and a diddly bop –
a spin, a grin, then another bow.
I watched him once when no one was there –
He just looked at the ground and stared.

I always thought her strange – the lady down the street;
always with a polite wave if she noticed us passing.
One day on a walk, I stopped to talk –
she cheerfully beamed about her garden
and the beautiful day, but then she paused and said,
“Sorry, I must go and see my love …
who doesn’t know me anymore …
but I still know him”.

In the summer, a boy walked by every day,
tossing a ball into his glove
on the way to the park;
shortly after, he came back down the street,
his head a little lower.
 I asked, “Aren’t you gonna play?”
“They already gotta game” was always his answer,
but one day he said, “Wanta play some catch?”
I knew right where my old glove was –
everyone needs a friend – even me.

Dave was a sad old coot, over in the corner,
barely glancing as I walked through the shelter.
I couldn’t leave without him,
so Dave came home with me that day.
My friends thought Dave was a strange name for a dog
but after four years they thought Dave
was a better name for a dog than a person,
so they all went with me when he had to go.
When everyone went home that night
the house was very empty.


Details | Free verse | |

All Alone

There she sat, all alone.
I was nervous, I was kind,
I built up my courage, I built up my faith.
She looked good,
Her hair was curly and was flowing
she had a loud smile,
reading Kafka, she was sweet,
and I took a deep breathe,
and drowned in her beauty.
I finally stood up and started walking over,
till a man sat down next to her.
"Hey baby!"
"Hi, Honey!"
Those couple words were exchanged
and sealed with a single, wet kiss.
I went back to my seat,
and sat all quiet.
I wrote this poem,
all alone.

-10-25-2013-


Details | Free verse | |

Wrapped in want

She wrapped herself around his wanting
His wanting to be loved
His desire for pleasure
Intertwined in the immediacy of his hunger

He fills her
Pushes deep
Further into his own need
Rising within her breath 
As both of them fall
Her there on her knees

Her tongue
Had whispered in his ear
Promised his dream
Caressing with hand
Pressured lips
Gentle firm flicks
From his heat she sips

Heightened moment 
Full release
A precious moment of peace
Then comes his darkness
Those voices rarely cease
Each moment they audibly increase

He goes back to being alone
Saves her number on his phone
Gives it a special ringtone
"I can't get no Satisfaction"
Another member who's a Rolling Stone
His sadness much deeper, than mere bone


 


Details | Free verse | |

Her Final Words

"No." She whispered before drowning into her sorrows.
Her life had been a simple happy one. 
There were no pains and no troubles.
Life was life and people were people.
Life was simple.
and life was all about tomorrows.
Life didn't know about sorrows.
Her sorrows.
Those same sorrows that she drowned in never existed. 
They were never there, but where?
First to be sad in the naive town of joy.
Sorrow became contagious and what was known as happiness no longer was there.
It was non-exististent. 
A meager thought 
and a blessed memory.
She tried and tried.
She failed and failed.
Life was no longer hers.
For Pain was her only possession.
Her curse.
She lived and she died.
Yet, her legacy was passed on.
Never was it gone.
"No." She whispered before drowning in her sorrows, 
"Save them."


Details | Free verse | |

Let Me Go

Let Me Go!
I don't want this anymore!
I can't go to sleep at night,
all I seem to do is write.

Sometimes I read...
I read until I finish.
When I finally go to sleep,
I hear the sound of the alarm "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!"

Oh gosh,
I can't handle this anymore.
I am going crazy here
and no one seems to notice it, my dear.

I cry myself to sleep.
telling myself everything will get better.
BUT IT DOESN'T!
And I know I mustn't

but I want that knife
just as much as I want that gun
I hate this world
and everything about this girl

She sings and tries to get attention
yet no one gives her the time of day.
She falls into the books she reads
no one knowing, it is escaping, she pleads.

This girl is me,
oh but you knew, right?
Since all I ever talk about is me!
Gosh, can't you see?

I'm my enemy!
I'm my own nightmare!
No one is hurting me!
It is me who shouldn't be let free!

Lock me up! 
Kill me!
That way I won't harm myself...
I'd like it if it was someone else

Please, do me the favor
and let me go
for no one can save this girl
from this cruel world.


Details | Free verse | |

Survival Of The Fittest

Dropped out of school
At an early age
Lived on the streets 
Because, I disgusted my mother
She thought I was a poor example
Of true Christian beliefs
At an early age 
She religiously drummed into me
‘blood is thicker than water’
And yet, 
Here I am today confused, lonely and hungry
No one protecting me
No friends
No family
No home to go too
Just, peoples eye for an eye,
tooth for a tooth mentality
Praying for the sun to shine
To feel some warmth again!
Sun rays of hope, lighting me up
To live through this darkness without fear
With a heart full of faith
No matter what happens to me, now!
If only I could drink my salty tears
It would sustain me for a lifetime
Your tears are worth nothing, around here
You’re classed as weak and venerable
Only attracting death
Your life worth nothing!
Save me from myself
I am my best friend
I am my worst enemy
My prayers and dreams
Lost in the wind
Blowing around like autumn leaves
The rain washing them away
Down the drain into the sewage
Rolling with the seasons
Year after year
Survival for the fittest!
Surviving on the love
Hidden, inside me
Being my strength and guide
My personal lifeline
In surviving this crazy world 
We all live in


Details | Free verse | |

The Road

Suspended in perpetual animation
There is a light at the end of the tunnel
From hours of travel though inches gained
Spewed forth from the bowels of existence I stand
Before me lies the road

Like a pond turned solid by Winters touch
The road is wide, flat, smooth
No encumbrances to impede the journey
Cautious at first, testing the consistency of life
The trek of life begins on the road

It is not so bright anymore
Feet shuffle along in a redundant pattern
Knees skinned and bruised
Rocks, underbrush, thorns and ruts
These are the things that now fill the road

Alas, a fork and a place to rest
Up to now the choices where clear
Through mired with pitfalls the ground was flat
No twists, no turns no looking back
Things are to change depending on the road

Left or right, the choice seems easy
The right is blessed by being clear
The left appears to be less traveled
Skulls, cross bones and signs beware
Love and pain are to gain on the road

I have been meant to suffer
Life and family has taught me that
The left road I must take
The pain of absence of love already aches
Perhaps life shall end on this fragment of the road

The hand of God has made passage impossible
Wind, rain, sleet and hail
Tear are my flesh and blur my eyes
Bloodied and raw fingers grasp into the unforgiving Earth
Clawing my way up the grade that is now the road


Shrouded in disappointment and failure
I succumb to life’s journey
It is simply too hard without family and love
Face down the struggle ends
I release my grasp and begin the last leg of the road

Where is the bottom? Why have I not hit?
I quit, I have no more to give
Yet suspended like where it all began
What forces dare to interfere with the plan
For what reason to I remain on the road

It is not I that continues the struggle
Through slits of clarity wiped clear from tears
The vision comes into focus
There is one who feels I am worth the effort
It is my brother who holds me on the road

You are not a brother, blood of blood
Nay, you are a brother by choice
A man through unconditional love and conviction
Has purged the darkness, sorrow and despair
Saving my life and my soul, I am still here on the road

I have no tangible means of payment
Gifts and idle trinkets could never tender the amount I owe
The love I have and the embraces of family
It is what was given to me because I went left
The wounds healed and voids filled because of the road

Today the day is bright
Warmth surpassed only by the glow of love
Shoulder to shoulder and heart to heart
Life is worth living and good again
Because of our travels down the roa


Details | Free verse | |

Shyness

life was the grains of hope
that slipped through my fingers,
the chilling breath that scurried
around my afflicted mind.
I heard your whispers
through the telephone wires,
felt your coldness
through a pretentious world.
No sister, nor brother
to confide in,
not that anyone cared,
lonely days, lonely nights
where to drift through the burden
of one’s mind to that visionary
place, there, where one casts aside
reality and takes on an entity,
a power with the ability to right
all that is wrong, a sanctuary
that maroons the real world in
rampant arrogance, and it’s
populous totally ignorant
of what goes on,
in the heart of a lonely soul!

For the "Blink" contest.


Details | Free verse | |

Us Two?

Fill this lonely darling
take this void and Ill mend yours too
We walk on opposites sides of this road
  aimlessly spacing out sidewalk gazing
our feet shuffle apathetic to the directions we're headed

A lovely thought-these streets meet and there you are....
your eyes shine the neglected light my mirror knows so well
A smile forces its way across your face
Mine is there too and now there is a feeling of two

A hand in mine~~ our steps seem certain...
talking as we go-the direction is toward one another
The breeze blowing gentle wafts the scent of your hair
    ---and here I realize my senses are returning
As our lips touch, you gasp-knowing the same...
   If forever is a fairytale that no love would ever see
     ...lets take our time now and weave it into eternity

This soul is searching for one as bruised but resilient as mine
....yours is seeking a partner in this trying lonely time
  Lets you and I join as one and walk stronger than before
A force the world will coldly walk upon no more
....soothe my scars, and wrongs, and pain
      ....I'll shatter the walls those things have done to you
          ....We'll be cleansed in this night walks rain
               ....no more wondering lonely souls....
                    Just us newfound blissfull two
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Details | Free verse | |

An Unfinished Story

Step by step,
hand in hand,
I was always there for you.
Ups and downs,
lost and found,
I was always there for you.

Even though you never believed in us before,
and you chose the most hurtful way to slam the door,
I was always there for you.

You moved on quickly, never looked behind,
even though I smile today, it still hurts when I rewind.
Through happiness and pain,
every loss and every gain,
I have always been there for you.

The question still exists, the question about us,
my beautiful dreams went up in dust.

Now that you are here in front of me,
it brings back a rush of old memories.
You say hello, you said goodbye before,
I still believe that we could have had so much more.

Step by step,
hand in hand,
I will always be there for you.
through lows and highs,
till the day I die,
I will always be there for you.


Details | Free verse | |

Africa III

Heart pounding
Nervous feeling
Overwhelming
Deep breath to shake it
Cold chill slivers down fast

Beating against cage of heart
Cage of body
Cage of soul
Legs begging to run
Heart aching to be free
Truth to self 
aching to be seen

Sweet scent of dry savannah plains
Sharp smell of thorny veins
The aroma of Africa surrounds
Scents sights sounds 
In these home is found

Frustration mounts 
Captured leopard
Bound

Snarling at every motion made
Scared but defiant
Blinded by fear and rage

Paws long for endless journeys
On paths walked centuries ago
For elegance in element
A space all her own
Where earth still bleeds red on horizon
Morning and night
Continuing the endless fight

Fight for borderless freedom
Everlasting sight
The pale yellow green eyes
Dismays the truth inside
But tell the story
Of wild soul
Story to unfold


Details | Free verse | |

Words to a Lonely Song

Each night I sing my lonely song
Hoping it may find its way to attentive ears
But no one seems to hear it
Its forlorn melody calls
Throughout the night
Wishing it had one to feel its cry
But no one comes to its call
Each word of my lonely song
Carries the hopes and dreams I once had
Saving them for times of need
Someday when this lonely song fades away
Someone will respond to its forlorn cry
Hoping to hear my lonely song
But when this day comes
This song will be no more
For the words to my lonely song 
Will be lost forever in the wind


Details | Free verse | |

Sad Versus Happy

It’s dark.
It’s tense.
It’s something everyone fears.
This thing is sadness.
But there is one thing that can make defeat this evil thing.
It brings joy.
It brightens your face.
It’s something everyone loves.
This is happiness.
Everyone should have it.
Everyone does have it.
You just have to find it.


Details | Free verse | |

Heartbreakers


Can you hear the soul of it, the silky sound that haunts your mind?
And takes you to a film noir with words that cry of pining hearts?…
Of love betrayed, or kisses spurned, returning to a shaded past
Notes that echo through the night, with salty tears that will not hide
The sultry voice that sings the blues will walk you through the foggy mist
And break your heart with bitterness

Somewhere, there’s a lonely song, about the man who got away
She drinks the words as if alone, dressed in satin, red lips croon
Who does she sing to?   Who are those strangers in the room?
The scent of whiskey in the gloom, they drink it straight, in black and gray
The music fills the void with tunes, it rises above the grim despair
It mingles with the nicotine, that circles in the midnight air 
Somewhere is a saxophone, and a sobbing clarinet 

She’s tearing words from limb to limb
The room is dim…but it’s not for them
The smokey sounds that fill the air
Shots of whiskey....another pair
Heads held low, hidden faces
A place where troubled souls
Find words in old songs
To tell their stories
About deep sorrows
About deep regret
Doesn't matter if anyone is listening
It's just enough to have them sung
Even long after the tears had dried
After they leave this place
All alone in some lonely space
Haunting melody inside a pounding head
Someone still cries
The blues in the night


...................................................................................................................................
In Honor of Michael Falotico's Contest "A Cry Still Heard"


Details | Free verse | |

Two Lonely Hearts

There once was a day where lonely hearts could play
without any pain, blame or suffering

There once was a night, where the love was just so right
nothing to stop them, no one to hold them 
responsible

There once was a hour where with no thoughts in mind
only the feelings of longing inside
to feel that closeness shared so true

Between the man and women subdued
fallen in without a raft
drifting further out to sea
with no protection in sight

They gave into fear of needing someone
of needing a place to be
closed up inside, their bodies were tight
and no longer, hungering

There once was a minute, where lonely hearts could lay
without any commitment, from midnight to day
enveloped indeed, these lonely hearts bleed
for something much more desiring

For this is the second, where lonely hearts think
that life could change so drastically
and everything, from that moment on
their hopes and their dreams, were so far gone

But not out of touch, and not out of reach
for this is the time, for new beginnings.


Details | Free verse | |

Persistent Thing

Seamlessly out of reach,

Coming to a grasp,

Then just to leach,

To lay down,

A hand brushing out over these blades of grass,

Touching, is it not?

That he may find her,

Such formlessness,

When will the time come?

Oh, the times there were,

Though the times that may,

Like cogs in a machine turning endlessly within this brain,

Clouding the path, the dreams,

Clouding all that could be,

Clouding this life, this sight, so you may be a passer-by,

A wish for you to be near,

To spend the cold of the night within the comfort of your warmth,

Lonely is the dark, ill-illuminated cage of my heart,

So frightening at times, yet so understandingly comforting amongst others,

So starts the spread of delusion, of fright, and of fear,

To be happy for,

What a joke! Harder than to pass through the iron maiden that is the guard to these thoughts,

As the selfishness grows,

And the jealousy ensues,

No anger, but calming waves of sorrow,

Setting in as it swallows whole,

Stretching out the hand,

A hope that continues,

To crash yet again,

To stand back up,

And continue the trend,

Wondering, when shall it all end?


Details | Free verse | |

The Stone Walls

If the heart was stone walls…
The years would build it so high and tall.
It would be so strong, to hold everything in.
Wishes, dreams, even secrets could not escape.
Then, a lonely Soul comes by one day, to admire the walls.
In all it’s days, the walls have seen nothing like it. 
It sparkled like the moon, but still so fragile and little. 
The walls thought, “It couldn’t it be so bad. I must let it in.”
Aware of the consequences it could have, 
The old wooden doors still swung open.
The grateful Soul walked in slow and carefully,
Making sure to pick up any broken pieces it see’s along the way.
They got to know each other well, the walls and that Soul.
Confidence was built, trust was gained.
Some stones did have a few cracks in them to begin with, 
But they were soon banded together with feeling for the Soul that lasted forever.
Only the Soul could say things to the stones that made them want to melt.  
“I love you” was the biggest one of all. 
They were only little words, but they knew how to build the walls up higher and higher.
Days had gone by and time came when the Soul, feeling full and satisfied,
Wandered out those gates, in came in so long ago,
Only to carry on it’s way.
And that is when the walls found the one word that could tear them back down.
“Goodbye.” was all that stumbled out of it’s mouth.
They fell with a shattering crash that echoed throughout the land.
Rain followed, to form a moat.
Protecting the walls that only time could rebuild.
Hoping that one day they could once again swing their doors open
to that sad, lonely Soul. They could only wait.
And that’s what would happen 
If the heart was stone walls...


Details | Free verse | |

No More

No More

Feeling abrupt,
Like a volcano ready to erupt
My soul a hurricane swirling
Around my empty mind and cruel
And forgotten soul.

Pain, feelings so strong,
It cannot be described
On a page with a pen.
I snatch the lunar eclipse
Away,
And beauty of the heart goes away,
No sight, no sound;
No pain, no sorrow;
No smile, no frown;
No anything, no everything.

A soul so black,
A heart so weak,
That love is long gone,
And will never return.

No pain is worth feeling,
And no pain such that I hold
Is worth writing away,
No use in finding love again,
When faced with heartbreak
One thousand times before.
No more pain, no more sorrow.

I shall go and sleep away the time,
Till Death comes calling my name,
And lilacs and violets litter my way,
And a single ruby hearted rose
Dries up and slowly dies away.

-10/3/2013-


Details | Free verse | |

God Saw My Distress and Healed Me part 4

This question drives me up and down the walls
I know for certain that God has answered my calls
I can’t hang up on Him…He’s so brilliant
And I’m so little compared to Him…
Maybe I’m little in size and very insignificant compared to the most High
He gives me quite a natural high
He brings me back home and kisses me good night
Without His love, I’d be lost like a sheep losing his shepherd
I feel like I’m separated to God
As if God and I are on both sides of the coin…
Our oceans don’t collide with each other,
But He does make huge tidal waves…
And I make baby waves that swerve up and down
Like a wave’s movement, my life seems to have its low points and high points
But, when I build enough energy, I glide higher than the clouds
Though, unfortunately, I’ve only been dreaming this
Then, I collapse into the sand...my face rubs against it and I have scrapes all over
Sand and water do mix well, but afterwards, the sea shore’s weight will pile up on the bottom of the ocean floor
I can’t imagine how many grains of sand there are on Earth
There are countless amounts of ants on Earth as well
Trillions and trillions of them are in existence
It’s amazing how plants take in Carbon Dioxide
And we breathe in oxygen…
God is a fantastic creator and He did carve His creations pretty well
God saw my distress and He healed me
When I think about Him, I’m speechless and can’t say much
He’s made out of love and He bubbles me up with excitement
I haven’t given Him the credit of working miracles in my life…
But, I don’t want to divorce God…I must propose to Him like a wife
Does to her husband…I want to submit to Him
He made the sunset, the moon and stars
Look! He even made the planets and He healed our scars
He made the flowers, the roses and the creeping bugs
Look! He even made leaves for our eyes to see…
He made the change of seasons
God saw my distress and healed me
God made the wild cats, bears, reptiles
He made us have a brain that is as neat as black and white tiles
God healed me…and I’m simply glad He did so
God wiped out my distress…and He simply dressed me with happiness and He’s in high spirits to see me grow

 ~ Inspired by the band of Evanescence’s song: Never Go Back 
~ God inspired me to write this poem…


Details | Free verse | |

Loneliness

glassy-eyed people
moving as in a dream
looking without seeing
seeing without looking

utter hopelessness
pervading their insides
filling them with despair 
and pessimism

lustreless eyes
no inner joy
just a deep emptiness
stifling their souls

dried-up people
shutting others out
shutting themselves in
lost in their loneliness


Details | Free verse | |

Time

Time. 
A challenge all of mankind faces, but yet I feel so alone. 
How am I supposed to deal with this?
Is there a book written that tells me how I can face the omnipresent calendar, who judges my character when I fail to meet his deadlines?
Because when I slow down I have to remember. 
The world doesn't stop with me.
It continues. 
Seasons and people change and go. 
They don't wait for me.
I am moving forward, trying to evolve into a butterfly. 
But to this fat caterpillar, it seems impossible.
The world never stops. 
It doesn't give me a chance to breathe. 
A chance to worry about the person I'm becoming.
A chance to change my ways and realize what lies ahead. 
A chance to look up into the skies above.
Above me, what is above me?
Is there a god, mocking me, preventing my transformation?
Or is there a glass faced clock, ticking slowly, begging me to bide my time.


Details | Free verse | |

Healing mountain

Sitting on a tranquil mountain top
as I do from time to time
looking down at the view before me
listening to the calming silence
to heal my battered soul
and clear my troubled mind.

I look down to the bottom
to remind me
of how far I have come
and where I used to be
The mountain only exists
in my imagination
but I go there when I need
when live's battles get too much
It heals and restores me
once more like before
free from
stress and anxiety.

Peter Dome.copyright.2012.


Details | Free verse | |

This Bites

the girl sits propped over her barren desk
she had invited flowers but death halted their arrival
and because she kept asking father time the time
he summoned an hour to accompany each minute

she cursed pens on her desk
thinking their non-use caused stagnation
not so. They did glide across paper
making grand statements from time to time
but mostly they clamored for a zesty life.

she desired busy-ness.
the busy-ness you get from
pouring hot buttered soul into life
instead she was being drained of vitality
attached like adhesive to her chair.

some love the comfort of silent companions
a season for these is fine
but she had outgrown purpose-less living
being bored is a life that bites.


Details | Free verse | |

Alone In This Quiet, Perfect Home

Bedroom door is closed;
I'm feeling so alone.
Even though I'm laying bed,
I don't feel like this is home.
Even though I'm laughing with my friends,
I still feel alone
Even in this quiet, perfect home.
Lord, we need You.
Thank You.
In Your Name,
We pray.
Amen.


Details | Free verse | |

Inspired by the simple yet tragic act of Vincent Van Gogh


When the heart seeks understanding
When the heart shows true passion
Yet aware, taking the gift of caring
"with a dull ear"
In a distance
The blade glistened
as your package arrived on time
Say they "a madman to degree"
To lose thy hearing for thee!
Yet left behind
a masterpiece
"can you hear me"?

She screamed,
She weeped....

Thanks for mentioning Van Gogh in your write today, John R. ~I did something with it! :)


Details | Free verse | |

A Blue Boy's Death Wish

A fragile mind breaks 
Wake upon the rock laden shores
A muffled heart begs to echo
Whispers lost among a velvet chamber

Dusk comes premature time and again
Dropping the curtain on an optimistic sunrise
If you never witness dawn
There is no tomorrow

Always the dreamer aches
Never awake to make real what he desires
The restless corpse walks blind
Dead ends seem fitting for one of the kind

Lost in the labyrinth of strangling vines
Love is the motive and the weapon
Taking root in throats dry from weeping
Sprouts of amnesia in place of smiles
A garden called heartbreak holds onlookers captive
The comfort takes hold, sets in the bones weary of searching
A plea for rest lands on deaf ears

The hollow boy tires of himself
The last request he will ever make
"End me"
Lost and tired
He wishes to be weak no more


Details | Free verse | |

The End

The world is rotating about its axis of weariness
And revolving round Hell’s boundary.
We are all objects walking in the light of fate;
Programmed mechanics of mystery
And the machines in a state of defaulting misery,
Boldly brittle by the hooks and snap, the ringing calls.
In the beginning was the perfect mould,
Of dust and form: A true reflection of the image.
The suns of darkness set where light dwelt
And the suns of light shielded not the daunting rays?
Every man is born to die: Life is the journey of death.
Lost in the wilderness walk, lonely crawls of night
A bond in the arms of flesh is the captivity of doom
But the trust in faith is an eternal thrust
For rapture resounds in our empty heads
As echoes undying in the tides of perplexity
The moment of truth unfolding with fright
For all we have laboured for must end,
In the abyss that befits the obituary.
The coup is here; the King assuming his place,
And the beast usurped to its territory.
O wandering soul, where will you be?
When the Golden Trumpets cry aloud
With thunderous magnitude of the treaty
And the walls of the world vibrate in fright
My eyes will be focused on the red clouds
And my soul drowned in ascension mode
I know I will live forever, in crypts for the justified.
Many will call but find no answers,
For the abundance of the world shall be laid to waste.
O neighbour, that hour will blast past our eyes into ashes.
Let’s take refuge under the Cross’s Canopy
And be bonded by the never drying Blood
Under the showers of glistening grace
Drained for the restitution of our souls
We need no microscope to see these huge bits;
That the world ended at the feet of yesterday
We are only living in moments of illusions
For you will wake up one day, on burning beds
And find yourself alone in this lonely world
When the music has crashed to its lowest notes
And tunes of sorrow are all we hear from the radios
When the chords of the violins are dead
When violence is the world’s anthem
And souls are slaughtered as fowls
When the sun refuses to smile on the East Sky
And the moon only cries all night
When night refuses to end its aura of darkness
And day refuses to rise: for tomorrow has been buried.
When men become beasts and eat up fellow men
When green grasses forever remain brown
And the breast only produces sour blood
When you turn to find me and find me no more
Then be sure to say that the End has come.


Details | Free verse | |

The Rat Race

As a child, I had much to do
Crushed it, when I tried to grew
Participant of the Rat Race, I am
Suddenly everything was scattered away

Now when I try to think of you
And calculate what went wrong
Where was my mind that day?
Why everything went so wrong?

After endless struggle, when I dream
Those equations , cry and scream
My demand curve went wrong way
And that was the end of everything 

The sweet little Tom & Jerry
still playing with no worries
Then my mind cries and says
those days are so far away

Every-time when I think of it
I think as I'm a liar and cheat
After this endless bargaining 
Life ends here.... Screaming


Details | Free verse | |

MY JAIL

This is my lonely lonely heart
It aches inside me here
It’s looking for some long lost dream
To make life sweet and dear

It doesn’t trust, it has been there
Trice now as we count
And every time it comes right out
With scars on it again

It wants a love to just be true
That it might live once more
Its seeks for friends and when it finds
It runs and shuts the door

It harbours in there all its fears
Its pain and memories
It finds it so hard to move on
How will it ever heal

I wish that my heart would just say
To hell with all the past
And leave it sitting in the dark
And let it rot away

It’s time to stop it worrying 
If its games you play
To take a chance and maybe see
If it could live a day

There’s so much stuff here going on
It can’t get past first base
It just stays singing lonely songs
And sits beyond closed gates


Details | Free verse | |

The Lover's Ghost

I am absent from heavens table
for I miss my love.
Compassion from an angel
helped me slide down a moonbeam,
to visit your lonely heart.

As you sleep, I am with you my darling,
the warmth of my love
creating a fire in your memory.
Where we can sit and talk,
in the glow of embers love.

In this realm we can feel love once again.
Let us dance above these flames of desire,
you in your prom dress and me,
the boy, you made a man.

Once again I can hear your whispers,
Of love and a life together.
Carried on a gentle breeze
listened to by inquisitive angels,
smiling from their windows above

Your words seeding my lonely soul,
trembling my world
with dreams for eternity to keep.


Tonight the moon smiles for you and me
for she too remembers,
the tears of joy from our first kiss
slowly running down both our cheeks.

We never knew they were tears from heaven.
Precious was that moment,
for we never saw the hour glass empty.

But pain did not hurt,
for your face was always with me
and love cannot be killed by time.
For our love will endure
and heaven has dreams for us.

For mortal time is but a light,
to pick that one special rose,
that grows beyond this life.

The Clouds of dreams are lifting
time is slipping through my fingers
And the angel is calling.

So a secret promise, I now plant
 for your soul to cherish,
wrapped in love
to dwell in the recess of your mind.
To be opened when angels call.

For our prom date is not yet over
the music will play on
and I will be waiting,
to hold my rose once more.

And dreams will be ours to make,
to dance under a smiling moon,
to live an angel’s life.

And no more will I miss you.
My rose, my light, 
my love.



Details | Free verse | |

Songs of Sorrowed Hearts

What makes this world go around?
What makes Death walk the Earth
and God sit on his throne and watch over us?
What makes love go around with such favour
and strut along side lonesome avenues?
What does a widow, a motherless child, a Vietnam veteran
and a boy who has had his fare share of heartbreaks,
all have in common with each other?

They were all promised a beautiful life,
free for all to love, free from the pain of betrayal
and anger.
We are what make the world go around,
I am the poet who sits and looks at love walk down the street,
and watch the blind eyes stare deep in my soul.
I am the poet, that feels the pain of a heart torn in two.
He his the poet who writes of smiles, to forget the frowns
and tears.
She is the poetress that writes of her success,
in order to forget her past that tortured her soul,
now he and she walk together writing poetry
sharing their love and smiles with the world.
But with smiles, also comes frowns,
with hearts full of love, comes hearts full of sorrow,
and someone has to stay behind and write of the bad
has to write and compose the songs of the sorrowed hearts.

We are all given love,
but it takes some whole lives to understand
the dark mystery that tags along with beautiful love.
Someone has to suffer the pain,
someone has to sacrifice his or her happiness,
so another poet can feel the beauty in happiness and pain.
I am willing to sacrifice my time and heart,
for my fellow poet to feel the smiles grow on their faces
and feel love uplift their heart,
while the black cancer tears apart mine.
I will go on, with what is left of my heart and smile,
and go into my room of creativity
and compose the songs of sorrowed hearts
for future poets, like that came before me.


Details | Free verse | |

reading and Knitting

From childhood adore with love
Penny save to run to bookstore
Reading and knitting all  day 
Eyes  and hands in drop of hill
In hugging  the sea breeze 
Inviting underneath no need to breath
Deep dive to sea as host

When came beneath  in dream
In wet hands hosting pearl of shells
Breeze of the sea escaped white curtains
A new day to wash with sea and sun

Run to bookstore than get  a new canvas


Details | Free verse | |

An Emptiness Inside

~An Emptiness Inside~

Right now I'm sitting here
Staring into space
Feeling so all alone

As tears begin to fill my eyes
And I begin to cry
My heart suddenly feels an emptiness inside
That here lately I just cannot hide

If only you were here to hold me,
I'd feel so protected...
With you by my side

My world feels so sad and blue
Feeling as though I'm forever going to lose you
Our love I thought was forever true?

You told me just the other night
That I was only a simple friend
I then began to believe that our relationship
Was only just pretend

I've pleaded with you to help make
This relationship of ours last
Baby, I beg of you...
Let's not dwell on the past

I'm so sorry if I have hurt you
But never forget my love for you
Was always true

Baby, I pray that I can 
Mend your broken heart
But for now I will continue to look forward
Day by day
Pray continually...
That we never, ever drift apart


Details | Free verse | |

Lisbon

Empty streets I walk  and walk
Aimed at the lonely riverside
There's nothing to think of, just stand there
Just stand there and quietly stare
At the water at my feet 
Struggling to flow down my face
While my favorite music plays.
 
Empty streets I walked and walked
To the  sound of a desolate trumpet
Played by a mask hidden puppet
Crying please drop a little stone
To take the sorrow off these bones!
And miles and miles I walked alone..
 
A stranger stopped me and said please,
Would you come for a cup of tea?
But fear and cold won over warmth;
I turned my back, made something up
And all alone I pursued to walk
Through empty streets in the twilight.
 
Who knows what could it be
Of the stranger who wanted  tea?
Maybe a swindler or a thief,
Or maybe someone just needing company
Two blue eyes wanting to talk
And to maybe come along my walk,
And listen,
Listen to me,
Something I'll eternally need.
But I said no, and continued to walk
Through empty streets at the twilight.
 
I've seen love, I've seen hate
I've seen the world in this tiny place
By walking along the same old streets...
 
I've been smiled at, been ignored
But I've never stopped my walk
Through empty streets down and up
Alone with ghosts and dreams and thoughts
I see the people who I love
Appearing and fading in the air...
 
Drown in coffee and illusion,
I walk behind the fake profusion
Of a life in the other shore
I never doubted I would adore.
But for the first time I am scared;
Scared of not being myself
Something so easy to prevent,
Yet so hard to understand...
 
I live in illusion!
Like my sisters and my brothers.
And talking about the others,
Hand in hand I see two lovers:
Something I have never tasted
Because so far I've only waited,
Waited while my life's on pause.
 
But what's a pause without a dream?
It's a guitar without a string!
It's endless time without a clock,
It's the empty streets I walk.
 
But still, in the riverside's horizon
Empty as it is, or full as it may seem
A little boat remains there floating
For all of us still hoping
For a glimmer, for a light
There at the lonely riverside
Hope of one day walking back
The empty streets, no longer black.


Details | Free verse | |

Longing

Today I remembered you 
When I put on my boots
And when I saw our team logo
on the jersey of some dudes
Then during lunch, in the restaurant
for your inevitable love for meat
And later because of a picture
in the book I taught
My body was there, my mind was not
Then  in the bulged eyes
 of a guy on the billboard
In the email draft that was never sent
In the shower  I'd love we shared
And on this empty side of my bed


Details | Free verse | |

Journey On Your Own

There is a high, high cliff, just waiting for someone to come and climb, 
But what you must go through is rather tragic, so you must figure it out. 
I’ll let you pass through this gate and hopefully find out what is missing in it, 
what it means, 
I won’t give a hint or a word of it, so don’t pout. 

Your first stop is a place of nothing but fog, and a fast current of icy water 
passes through it. 
Only pure of heart and those who understand can step on the stones and walk 
the distance to anew, 
When you pass through the fog, hopefully you haven’t tripped yet, you’ll find 
such a beautiful place, 
But to the only few. 

The mountain awaits for your footprints, only to blow them away, 
There is a flower on the highest tip of the monument in the sky, 
“It’s too high, but I’m sure you know that.” Most say, 
But to those who are strong of imagination, just fly. 

Pick the flower, and you’ll finally see the path of your journey alone, a long 
white hall. 
On the walls, there are pictures of your past times, retelling all the good 
memories,
But if you are truly pure, you’ll see the way you made it here, and you’ll know, 
You’re dead, and this long journey ends when you sit in the golden room with 
two chairs. 

You’re almost there, just a little further and you’ll find paradise, I’m not lying. 
If you see doors leading away from this golden room, congratulations, you 
have done well.
For you, there will be a never ending paradise, a Dreamscape awaiting your 
presence,
And your life stories, people can retell. 

“You have done well alone, 
You must come and find me on your own.”


Details | Free verse | |

Lying

If I
Just start lying
Face-down
On the ground,
Motionless,
Not making a
Sound,

I wonder
How many
People will
Stop
And stare
And walk
Pass by
Like they 
Have seen 
Nothing.

I wonder 
How long,
How much time,
How many years,
Decades,
Or centuries
I will 
Have to wait
Until someone comes
And asks
Whether I
Am breathing.


Details | Free verse | |

Walking alone

Walking alone on this meandering path
not even a shadow of myself by my side
a cloud of silence surrounds me
I hear only my silent footsteps
reciting poems from our short lived past

Sometimes I stop hoping to hear your footsteps too
growing towards my direction to complement with mine 
to reminisce over things we had dreamed of 
and when I hear nothing at all I keep walking ahead
thinking that you might have left me behind

walking alone on this broken path I wonder 
if your love was an illusion; a mirage
and if I should cremate these memories of me and you
or if I should preserve them as architects for my future 

sometimes I stop trying to locate you
or at least the place where I lost you
and when I fail I keep walking ahead
hoping that somewhere not too far the paths we follow
will converge and there we will meet
to reunite and agree which way to walk………


Details | Free verse | |

little pale lies


sometimes, i get a wave of sadness over me.

i love you, and i want to be with you,

but

you deserve someone

a little less neurotic

and

a little more normal.

someone who is honest when she whispers, “I’m so happy”

under the covers.

you make me happy.

but you shouldn’t have to change me like that.


Details | Free verse | |

Impending Night

The impending night has fallen upon us
It woke with much persistence
Our hearts fled from its rage like a doe from a rifle
But the blast had already been made. . .

People fall like rain
The clouds are crestfallen with grief
And the darkness has no mercy 
Rain soaks...leaves an impact
The falls are devastating...

She was so strong, like a diamond she shined
Only to burn away and be one with the grime
I never saw her go
But the angry darkness of her essence—strangely glows...

He choked on his words, his memory
Like a child swallowing a pill
It is sticking in our throats
Against our will
And the dose ever grows. . . 
 
Who will stop the night?
You wicked thing how achingly stormy you have become!
Rich in your light as it smothers you whole
Leaving the rest to the droll sound of its toll

She burned
As they watched in angry happiness
The smoke of her spirits filling our hearts
No expressions...heavy depressions 
He was left to melt and rebuild

His wick ignites—burns are second nature
Though images are hard to swallow
She still talks to our souls
Her story still to be told
Like diamonds never found

A flame of hope hovers
We remain instilled in the rot
The darkness smothers
Its heavy slumber always waking


Details | Free verse | |

Time -part 2-

Even then though—you ask how!
How can she not return the hatred!
But we humans cannot think so beyond
To even dare comprehend the mystery sentiments she possesses
Surrounding her are twelve unattainable senses
That we only know from a single mind’s imagination
Like space she is enigma
And she will wander there without any question
Her senses are twelve sojourners that never tire
Watching with melodious eyes
Some see darkness and some see light
And none are ever affected by the garish dark
Or even the furious bright
Only Time can tell
What the multiple futures hold
But she is patient and silent
Speaking for all of our burning minds
Anger often burns our sides
For we do not want her silent comfort
Her hints seer us and overbear us
Were it be truth we would see it as deceit 
Were it deceit we would at last find her a flaw
We want everything now
And for that we suffer
And she is confused by our abhorrence
But she is intelligent, brave and belligerent 
And she cuts no slack
She will give none back
But in forwardness she is abundantly generous
Feeding us futures of hope
Her thanksgiving is art to those at death’s door
Those that make it in the uncertainty of night’s long abode
Some think her cruel to have them live on
But she had no choice in the matter
She is merely a vigilante
And in that vision—a humble giver
Time sees the rulers of this world
And smiles as she sees them go
May you not think her cruel to smile
To think that she thinks us inferior 
For it isn’t so!

Time is on our side
But we are ever against her
Ever against her
 
8/5/13
(note: This was meant to be one full poem, but I could not fit it on one page. Thank you kindly for reading)


Details | Free verse | |

Empty Without You

It’s me and the four walls again…..

The house is dead silent
without the exhibit
of your infectious excitement,
which made my sunset
brighter, and my breakfast
much more tastier

My heart writhed in pain
when you left in the rain
to pick up a bullet-train,
which even added echoes
of our Love in my mind

These echoes have taken
me to an asylum once,
but not twice

Managing to prove my “sanity”
to my psychiatrist,
I managed to get back into
our old, same house again
and sit at a corner of a room,
rewinding our beautiful moments
that we cherished in my mind
over and over again like a
broken stereo

The four walls are a witness
of my love for you


Details | Free verse | |

A BROKEN GLASS

03-01-07
03-04-07

A BROKEN GLASS

How many years I’ve shook-off,
Grabbed from that deceiving time.
To gave birth while walking to the scaffold,
Something I’ve ever dreamed to be mine.


Carry it under my clothes,
To give no space to that ruinous ruse.
Embrace it by my hands, hiding it beneath that glassy froth,
Caring not to taint an impending breakage, I can’t live from that loss


I have gone through many executions,
Yet I am still standing here.
Always weary in death but never in resurrection,
Living, for my grasp on it is sharper than any spear.


Yet an eclipse can’t be evaded by any moon,
Although light still prevails.
Darkness out grown its twin in doom,
And even the gleam inside to float had failed.


Endeavors of mine are no worth at all.
To that thing I have cared for.
It’s just when I dropped it and free its soul.
Brought by this ruling gloom and shattered light scattered on the floor.


Could anyone rebuild the breakage?
Connect those tattered parts?
Who could replenish the crater on the pledge?
Who would first lay down his cards?


Though it’s too hard,
Though it’s too tough.
Though I was hurt,
Still I need to need to laugh.



A laugh that hides my grief.
A smile that hides my pains.
A scar that was painted to a leaf,
A tear that bore through that flame.



Flame in the heart of that glass,
For centuries I’ve kept it untouched.
Still its breakage had struck it in a rush,
And turned that brilliant thing to pieces of worthless dust.



Who knows after a blanket of days,
Shattered glass would do it itself?
With no one’s grace,
Taken neither from a god nor from an elf.


by: ELC



Details | Free verse | |

Ignorance meets Insanity

Seriousness settles in, like an old friend
Seriousness spreads like a disease
Infecting us, accelerating, our aging process 
Our youthfulness, our playfulness, slowly slipping away
Our wonder in life, diminishing
Seriousness leading to rigidness, pathway to small mindedness!

Days and years, rolling into one
Colourless, lifeless, mundane, dull and boring
“What day is it?”
“Don’t smile or your face might crack!”
Judgemental, cantankerous!
Pompous attitudes, of modern day man

Stubbornness and ignorance, clinging to what’s familiar
Seriousness, up tightness, humourless, imagination vanished, pathway to madness!
The mind focused on its self created drama’s
Fears constantly being stimulated, from our outside world
Personal insecurities, constantly being triggered, inside
The past lives on, the present forgotten 
What was once important, now, left on the back burner
Hard headed, victim orientated
Righteous, self absorbed
Emptiness, hollowness, helplessness

Seriousness and ignorance, walk hand in hand
Becoming, our best friends
The vampire suckers of vitality
Sucking the life, out of our personal goals and childhood dreams
Lose of faith, gradually, losing our way
Lost, amongst the thick of it
Not knowing any different
Everything becoming an illusion
Seeing things as it should be
In our own little universe, no one else’s!

Entrapment of the mind
Our, personal intelligence, laying dormant
Body and mind, riddled with dis - ease
Heart beating hard, starving for a substance, we call love
Numb, to the outside
Numb, on the inside
Desensitized!
Going crazy!
Consumed with our own self created loneliness and separation
Ignorance meets insanity!


Details | Free verse | |

When You Leave

When you leave me alone in this world, 
I feel like I’m being torn apart. 
I don’t know where to go without you, 
I don’t know where to start. 

When you leave me alone, 
I reach for your hand, but it fades away. 
I can’t comprehend anything without you by my side, 
So please stay. 

When you leave me alone, I feel like I’m blind,
It’s hard to see my future without you there. 
When you’re gone, I can’t help but cry, 
You’re one of the only people who care. 

Please stay here with me, I can’t go without you, 
I don’t want you to leave me alone in a dark place. 
When you’re beside me, that hole in my chest, 
You filled that empty space.


Details | Free verse | |

AM ALIVE NOT DEAD

Crazy how when one problem is solved,
Another one arises,
When one thing is lost,
we find another one,
When we give up
someone else moves up,
When we think its the end of the road,
the journey has just began.

Crazy how when one stops hurting,
worry wants to take over,
When we are down and crushed to dust,
freedom calls, wanting to sweep you away like the wind.
Crazy how when i cry,
I realize am normal,
I have emotions and tears.

Funny how When my life is out of control,
When am broken and hurt,
Scared, thinking that this crazy world,
Is going to bring me down,
i find a reason to smile
I realize AM ALIVE NOT DEAD.


Details | Free verse | |

Coffee For One

Coffee for One

Slowly the morning awakens
Slipping softly into the new day
While pastel dreams
Still paint the horizon
With pensive desires

Water, filter, coffee grounds,
Click the switch, wait

The first song of the day
Finds the birds in chorus
Long before the sun’s face
Peeks its golden head
As veiled visions evaporate

The last gurgle of perking,
cup, sugar, cream, pour, stir

Coffee for one
at the kitchen table
sips of morning pleasure 
while the mind remembers
when coffee was for two


By:  Debra Squyres
       All rights reserved 2013


Details | Free verse | |

WAITING FOR YOU

Like acid falling on me, my skin does burn
As I wait everyday for you to return
The minutes seem like years but I’ll never run
I’ll wait for you till I become ashes in an urn

I get dressed everyday in my Sunday’s best
Thinking today I’ll see you and then rest
These tired eyes of mine and these bones fragile
But you don’t grace me with your presence, even for a while

I cut myself to pieces and gifted them all to you
I sacrificed all at the altar of love, you know it’s true
I tried to be sensitive and always be there for you
But in that you saw possessiveness and my obsession for you

Now where do I go? Should I turn my back on you?
You think that I cling, when I show my love for you
How can I be in love and not express it in all its hues
Should I just stand around like a dead statue?

I seem insignificant to you, from your perch proud
I am just another person, a face in the crowd
Trying hard to get your attention, competing with those around you
Destined to die loveless, destined to fall through

But I am a fool and I will wait, till sets my life’s sun
My eyes just a dead shadow of what once did burn
I’ll wait till my soul goes back to where its journey had begun
I’ll wait for you till I become ashes in an urn


Details | Free verse | |

Recipe for Love

It’s dark up top
The machines rule
I live in the basement
In the darkness
No light just my computer
It gives me what I need
If it could feed me
I would never leave this place
I dread going up top
There are people there
And they are wicked
Rude and needy
I need neither
I can love in the dark
I can hate in the dark
I can stream reality in the dark
I can wear my PJ’s in the dark
Sometimes I light a candle
And I paint the walls and floor
It’s chaotic but it makes sense to me
I left my ear by the door
And a leg on the stoop
They deliver wine on Wednesday
I have them leave it by the door
I am baking a recipe
For love
I just need more time 


Details | Free verse | |

I See You Everywhere

What do I say now? Where do I start?
Without you beside me, I'm falling apart
Thinking of you, know it isn't too smart
But I See You Everywhere, oh my poor heart

Love in her ways
She drifts slowly past me
A spring in her step
Oh she's moving too fastly
Upside down now
She turns my heart and soul
Reflecting in my mind
And in my heart, a hole
Every time she crosses my mind
I'm reminded of the pain
No chance to love her
She'll forget my name

So what do I say now? And where do I start?
Because without you beside me girl, I'm falling apart
Thinking of you, I know it isn't too smart
But I Still See You Everywhere, and oh my poor heart


Details | Free verse | |

The eyes

Never I know,
what is flowing form your eyes to my heart 
I only feel  somthing collapse.
and gradually I finish...


Details | Free verse | |

Missing You

Tears on my pillow,
Withered roses in my notebook,
My empty mail,
My bloodshot eyes,
My cold lips wanting for the warmth of yours,
My shivering spirit hungry for your caress,
My lonely days,
My sleepless nights,
My heart’s stitches,
My empty soul,
My lonely valentine,
Wish you were here.


Details | Free verse | |

Everything and Nothing

She loved the way the salty air 
kissed her rosy cheeks,
She loved the way the warm 
blankets kept her safe,
She loved the feeling of the 
soapy bubbles against her skin,
She loved the sky just before 
sunset,
The sound of the crickets as 
they chirped around her,
The water rippling as she 
kicked her feet in the puddle,
Her family,
Her friends,
The boy who would never know 
she existed.
The boy who would never know 
what she loved
Because even though she loved 
a lot of things,
She couldn't love herself.


Details | Free verse | |

Companionship

Shadows on lipstick
The pink is turning gray
Flakes in the corners
But I still have to pay
She said she was the best 
Not ten years long ago
I’d pay double back then
But I don’t want to love her
I just want to talk
She seems disappointed
To the point of being insulted
I say it’s not your body
Though it’s not as young as it could be
The tattoos don’t both me 
Not even the rosary
I try to explain I need companionship
She says “Well then get a dog”
I can’t argue with her there but they can’t discuss 
Rembrandt, but then again neither can she
So what am I doing here in the Elvis Suite in Vegas
With a $300 hooker I picked up at the MGM Grand?
I was lonely for companionship I needed to feel a connection
To feel as if I could laugh with someone and share my inner soul
Boy was I sucker, a hayseed, a water boy on the bench.
Naïve doesn’t do just to my stupidity.
Well I tried to talk about poetry, politics, anything to get a rise
But her interest was about the money and the ride.
I told her she’d get paid no matter what we did.
And she said, “Listen kid if we aren’t gong to do anything then just 
Hand over the jack and I’ll be on my way.”
Well talking was nothing and I handed her the doe.  
She smiled and laughed and told me she had a degree in philosophy
And would love to spend some time with me just not on the clock.  
You see it takes a whole night to discuss Plato and only a moment to have a ball. 


Details | Free verse | |

Refusing To Listen

Everyone telling me where to go:
Turn left,
Turn right.
I don't even know who to listen to anymore;
I don't even know who I am anymore.
God, please speak to me
And tell me where to go
And show me what to do
Because Your voice is drowning out in the madness
Or maybe I am just refusing to listen.


Details | Free verse | |

Autumn Brown

My Hispanic lady
her skin
shades of autumn brown
hair black
like the raven
eyes that burn
with dark fire
shadow forest body...

I saw her in my dreams
in a grove picking olives
from the grandest tree
suddenly she is plucked
by God himself
then created her all over
for me in autumn brown...

Come out tonight mi amor
meet me down by the sea
for you are so beautiful
the gulls will fly around you
the very air of the sea I promise
will ignite my love for you...

Your mouth kisses of water
lips lashes of whips
kisses that opens my heart
like the sharpest blades
the bright disc of the moon
soars and explodes
beneath my sleepy eyelids...

In the mist of the night
I am awake and content
wrapped in the safety
of my moonlight shadow lover
my light brown goddess
lusciousness wrapped in black satin
clothed in the dusk...

When we make love
the moon bleeds black
it is always
one minute to midnight...

Poor me I become so sad
when the morning light arrives
for all of the long night
I have been enjoying
the affections of the one I love best
beneath the light of the moon...

I wish to be draped
in night again
where shadows swallow us...

My Spanish angel
a breeze blows softly
moving the ship of my thoughts
to you mi alma gemela
outside my window the leaves waltz
all of this for love
I am lulled to sleep...

Spread your wings my angel
we will fly
you are so beautiful
we will merge in the winter solstice...


Details | Free verse | |

Messiah

You’re the shining sun and silver moon, Glowing brightly in my heart, Your words soothe my thoughts, And for once, I don’t worry. Though we couldn’t talk much, It’s like I’ve known you all my life. But I don’t. I want to know more about you, Who you really are, what you look like, I want to know more about you. Unlike others, I’ve been given a messiah, One I could talk to about anything, Guardian angel, are you worried about me? I know I get hurt a lot and I hurt others. I know I’m tainted and cruel, I’m sorry. Can you forgive me? I don’t know what I was thinking. I regret it and I want to take it back. But I can’t… So, as I repent under a perpetual, gray light, Let us enjoy each other’s company, For I know all too well, Good things come to an end. Family, Friendships, Life, Love… So, may we hold hands and share an embrace? Just for a moment, please, Let us share a moment of eternal bliss. May 17,2013


Details | Free verse | |

Late afternoon thoughts

Looking out at my piece of the sky
On an afternoon of unexpected inactivity
Following the threads of thoughts
Could be a pleasure, to give them phonemes
Even better, or so would I think.

Tomorrow is full of meetings, 
And a tough deadline, but now 
All I have is the present, a glorious sun
Dipping over the tall buildings yonder.
Sunset is a rare sight in the city
But the memories of yore 
Still tinge the heart. There is laughter
Of people at play beyond the walls,
In the dense peepal full of cackle, 
Birds gather for the evening meet.
The sound of steam from an automatic caffe, 
The jingle of cups, 
Muted voices with technical jargon
Waft though the empty corridor.

Streams of words chase the thoughts
For some indefinite time, 
Then give up, discouraged at the increasing gap
Folding into the comforts of quietude.
The sun is gone, the rays remain
A sigh rises in heart, could go home !


Details | Free verse | |

The Caged Bird

Four white walls
and a bird,
trapped in steel cage
not free, not happy.
The walls they laugh,
closing in, holding
the bird hostage.
No windows,
no doors,
just four white walls
closing in,
on the caged bird.

I hear crying,
tears of sorrow,
so sweet, yet so sour.
It is the bird
trapped in the rusted cage-
No, just my soul
crying out,
for a warm embrace.

11-10-2013


Details | Free verse | |

Poem

I painted a picture of your face
With some beautiful flowers but the skies were gray
Behind you maybe a sun that will never glow
On a withering tree with no leaves to blow
Hanging from a branch is an old tire swing
And a heart shaped carving for you and me
It says something about how we'd last 4-ever
But your heavenly smile I can not remember
Just a shadow that lacks and strays far behind
As I try to capture your love with a heart thats blind
So I painted a cloud just to hide your face
As I wondered how does that color taste


Details | Free verse | |

Another Night of Dread

It is dark and night outside my window,
and in the soundless, lit confines of my 
room I sit at my old, ivory desk 

cheerless

and anxious with dread for what the rest
of another night may bring.

My ostomy bag, an abhorrent creature that 
hugs precariously on one side of my abdomen,
covers my raw and fleshy stoma underneath. 

Against my desire, the stoma continually oozes  
feces and waste 

like a sewer into the ostomy bag, which, 
every seven days or so ruptures its seal 
and transforms into

a stinking and rancid cabbage

whose fetid odor refuses to stop emanating 
until the entire, offensive beast is immediately 
uprooted from my body.

So, I sit at my ancient, ivory desk, writing 
these cherry-picked words to express

the anxiety and the doldrums 
of another night;  

and the lonely, isolating, embarrassing, humiliating,
ego-wiping, self-esteem killing, mind-numbing, 
soul-shattering, universal, all-embracing, 
omni-present 

stench 

that weekly offends my nostrils and fills my lungs 
because of a thoroughly used-up ostomy bag that 
needs to be removed immediately

like an old, decaying vegetable 
that has outlived its 
freshness--

It is another cheerless night in the same, old
cheerless space: 

the nose-blistering smell, however, is only for 
another night...


Details | Free verse | |

Goodbye, Farewell

Goodbye, farewell There is a time for everything But time for me has drawn its wings back away Leaving me to the sad hellos of today Do I wish to embellish in the sounds of your pain? Or will I take the back way into town to seek the reigns? Tension like ice crackles at the sound of departure Sometimes leaving it alone is harder I never expressed the selfish growths of my pride I am sickened in darkness, stuck in this mind Where is the heart when one needs the goodbye? Where is the mind when I break down and cry? Goodbye, farewell I never amounted to much Though I was granted everything My wings are folded too tightly with time The meat is tucked beneath and only I feed On the breadth of my own luscious nourishment Will I crush you with indifference? Silently beat you with fervent fury? Will I flood with tears of inward emotion? The sick selfishness one masks as devotion! Heat melts away the ice Replaced by tethered spite Goodbye, farewell! Before the night sweeps you away I never will cherish this today I will let the time dive into the abyss With the greetings and salutations one will never miss I will ride into the fiery skies with no care but my own Landing in turbulent waters in winds that moan There is a reason but it is unknown And that is how it will always be Can’t you see this is good for you? This is the only way—I fear for you Abandonment is only an emotion So, goodbye, farewell


Details | Free verse | |

Sicklied Breezes

Here comes that familiar breeze again Emptied of hope, it always returns to refill Some other abandoned soul A soul that delves deep into my own, Drifting in an almost shameful stance Festered ignorance, time, and thought Resting under the wing of frightened hope It is cool, like any ordinary breeze It pleases all that feel it, save I For I know it longs to take all that I have In one…single… swoosh You overlooked demon! Why are you so gentle? Why must you manifest in sorrow and woe? Sleeping in the convent of my soul As others praise you and thank you You take me under tow Forever more, lost in this sicklied growth With a silent tune of rests within notes I remain where the breath is taken I remain your host The breeze grows painstakingly warm Filling all with passions unfolding Each soul finds its home Leaving me alone with a soul untold Always awake and crawling… and screaming Bold, all-knowing and thoughtless Wingless, tainted…filled with dread It is warm and hated by all that behold it And I grasp it, and hate it, and LOVE IT For it takes nothing and gives me all In multitudinous shrouds Beloved angel—why do you burn me so… Leading me into your sick embraces As others curse to your face You forever release in me A despairing freedom that I know longer wish for The melody caught—no room to breathe Harmony caked with ignorance does seethe For all no longer see… I was always the caller


Details | Free verse | |

One Foot in the Bedroom one Foot out the Door

One foot in the bedroom
one foot out of the door
seems relationships 
are too much hassle today
and no one wants
a loving relationship 
any more.

You give your best
your hopes built up
and then shot down in flames
emotions and feeling
amount to nothing
neither does your name.

I don't want a disposable relationship
I'm nones plaything or toy
I'm me I have a heart brain and personality
but no one wants that or me.

So I remain disillusioned
lost and alone,
as ever.



Peter Some.copyright. 2013. Dec.


Details | Free verse | |

Dear Simple,

My simple lovely, just touch; caress with feathery fingertips, Simply; love me. My quiet lovely, please tell; whisper through precious lips, Quietly; tell me. My lone lovely, only stay; promise by the push of hips, Lonely; don't ever leave me.


Details | Free verse | |

The Black Abyss

Sinking in deeper,
No way to escape,
The dark and scary Reaper,
Fore told in the Book of Life.

Is this my end?
Will I ever see the light of day again?
No. My wounds, I must mend.
I must find my strength.

Stand my ground,
Face my fears.
Only then will my voice be found
I must survive.

Break the suffocating chains,
Run from the darkness.
Power will fill my veins.
I will Fight!

Fight the painful names,
The horrid memories,
The demented games 
And escape My Black Abyss.


Details | Free verse | |

The Best of You

What do you do?
When your best isn’t good enough
Where do you hide?

When you’ve stretched yourself
To very limit of endurance
When you’ve poured out your love
To the very last drop
When you’ve sacrificed
To within a breath of your life
Where do you go?

How can you live?
How can you feel?
When the best that you have
Is just not good enough
To make him love you

Where do you go?
Where do you hide?
When your most precious gifts
Are left unopened
The receiver convinced
That they’re just not good enough
To meet his needs
Gratify his desires
Fill his hunger
Thrill his mind

Where do you go?
Where do you hide?
When you no longer have
Anything to give
Because the best of YOU
Just wasn’t good enough
For HIM.

Eileen Manassian Ghali


Details | Free verse | |

You professed your love

You professed your love....

Sweet, like a rose in a 
blossoming spring,
Warm, like your chestnut eyes 
as you smile,
Entangled with promises,

...but not to me.


Details | Free verse | |

Night Muse

Tonight I call
a certain woman
who spreads her scent
of fragrant dianthus
into my night
so silently...

The way she
speaks my name
almost mocking me
making gentle fun...

Because of her
modest style of love
I look to her
my evening star
behind orange clouds
over ocean horizon...

She possesses
the highest summit
of my heart
she the poetess
the moon goddess
transfiguring kaleidoscope
in sunset towards the west...


Details | Free verse | |

Too Close Am I

I shattered my own heart,
Wrecking balls, tumbling decisions,
It fell upon me too late,
Forever and now I will lose what I held so dear,

But I held it out at arms length,
I let it fall, the uncurling my fingers,
Sinking into an emotional seat that engulfs me,
I so desperately buried the threat,

Happy once, I have not forgotten,
The taste of joy upon my lips still,
How could one ever forget the ecstasy that is happiness,
For we all seek it within the nil,

Berserk and rampant in my head,
A beast set loose upon my mental state,
So silent am I, my comfort so walks away,
So silent I can hear the screams echo within the blank,

Damp and dark are my thoughts of late,
Cramped tight inside, no prison break,
Hoping to find my way,
Before fear swallows me in regret,
And I become lost in my own wake.


Details | Free verse | |

Frosted View

Moss fern
Grows on the tree
Outside the kitchen
Window for all to see
But, seen only by me

Blurred vision
By the frost that grows
On the Window
Pane melting slowly
As the sun touches
The crystals frozen

Water like tears
Stream down the glass
Outside the kitchen
Window for all to see
But, seen only by me

Debra Squyres
12/27/12


Details | Free verse | |

Forgotten and Alone

I’m powerless against your words, and I can do nothing to keep them away. 
Covering my ears is just a futile move, and will not help me, 
Seeing as though you were so kind before, you just snapped and turned 
horrid, 
I’m afraid, I’m horrified at what I see. 

I shiver and cry, staring at the metal door, waiting for the minute when it 
opens,
And I’ll see a kind face smile back at me like before. 
But for now, I call out “Do you come now or never?” 
There’s no answer, and I can’t hear your voice anymore. 

Please come back, I feel so alone and forgotten, it hurts me. 
Right now, I would give anything to see your face, even if you harm me, 
Just come back, I’ll be waiting for you in the corner of this room, 
For now, I’ll just sit there and wait for you to come back to me. 

I’m powerless against your actions, I cannot defend myself against your abuse, 
Curling into a ball will not save me from the hand
That was once so kind, it held me tight, but those days are gone now, 
And I just wait for you, watching my existence turn to sand. 

I falter, and through the tears, I cry out again “I’m sorry!” 
Though I have no thought of what I am apologizing for,
Maybe I’m sorry for living in this world, for being born, 
But I just don’t want this anymore. 

Please come back, I feel so alone and forgotten, remembering the old days, 
The days we spent laughing and smiling together in. 
Those are just old memories that flew out the window, and won’t come back, 
Was my creation such a sin? 

Even if I can’t say it to your face, 
I still love you. 
Though I’m abused by you, 
I still love you. 


Details | Free verse | |

The Hole In Me

The Hole in Me
 
There’s a fist-sized hole inside me
Bitter air blows through it
Listen to it keening
It’s where my heart used to fit

It flew away long ago
Looking for kinder shores
It waved to me as it lifted up
And smiled sadly
As if it didn’t want to go

I reached up 
To try to pull it back
But it was out of my grasp
Hearts have a mind of their own


Details | Free verse | |

Solitude

Close to heart, a long-time friend I seek solace, in the loneliness of its hold It consumes me.


Details | Free verse | |

The Beauty of the Dark

When the sky turns black
Memories keep on coming back
Silently the cold wind blows
As tears fall and flow.

You won't see me crying alone
For the darkness embraces my home
Finally I can see the beauty of the dark
For it knows how to cover my heart.


Details | Free verse | |

Lonesome on the Beat way

Lonesome on the beat and path;
I am lonesome on the Beat way.
On the Road with Jack Kerouac 
and having a lunch naked with William S. Burroughs,
while listing to Allen Ginsberg
telling us how he saw the minds of his generation
go with madness.

The red heads and the brunettes
lost all their ways
as they go down on one-another.
Women in white lingerie
killed as the boys in blue jeans
kill each other with laughter and foolish jokes.

Agree with me,
if you may;
and paraphrase if you would, please do,
to see if I have gone mad,
or just talking outside of the box.

I walk alone, lonesome with books of dead poets,
trying to become my own person,
losing that war to me, myself and I.
Hold close to me, but don't stare into my eyes,
for you'll fall madly in love with me,
or grow mad yourself
and feel my pain.


Details | Free verse | |

Outcast

Outcast
pushed out
forced out
I’m different
I’m weird 
I’m a freak
I’m an outcast
no friends
no help
just ‘cause i’m different,
I’m pushed out 
and shunned
I’m weird
I’m a freak
I’m an outcast 
I’m black
I’m white
I’m too tall
or too short
too gay or 
too strait
doesn’t matter 
I don’t care
I’m unique
I’m different and 
I’m proud


Details | Free verse | |

Protect Me As I Sleep

Nobody 
Knows my real name
‘Angel’ 
Is what I go by
I am freezing cold
I don’t have money
Just, the clothes on my back
I am a walking wardrobe
I am lonely
I smell like crap
I am starving hungry
I can’t find any shelter
My clothes are drenched
I look like a drowned rat!
Violence
Upon women
Is classed normal
Around here!
I wonder...
If
I will survive
Another day?
Only
To wake up
And
Do this
All over, again!
“Protect me tonight
As,I lay my head to rest”
“I love you, dear God”

“Goodnight”


Details | Free verse | |

Shine Bright Tonight

another night I run to you
only for a kiss
and within a whisk, 
you're off 
into the land you want to be in 
I have come home 
to see you leave 
and then I'm left 
here daydreaming
when you say you'll come back 
but you never do
until my eyes 
have already turned blue 
until I can no longer want to think 
you'll be back in time 
for you to see
the light on my face 
when you make me smile
someone has been gone 
for quite a while 
and you tell me to wait 
and wait I do 
until I can no longer want 
to wait for you
oh, if I could stay out 
I'd dream all day 
of things I want to do
but work keeps me this way
and you can dream all you want 
because I've given that to you
but now I want my turn
yet I'm still turning blue 
I keep hearing you say 
great things are coming now
but all I see 
is my bank empty
and me, working 
struggling to buy shoes 
when you 
shine with all your gold 
you buy for yourself 
as I resist from buying pants 
I might want but don't need 
you shine some more 
and I become lonely. 
Oh shine bright tonight, 
wherever you are 
I've begun to not care 
how you'll be a star
because I need to let myself go too
and all I see are diamonds 
shining bright on you. 
maybe if I could do what you do 
I'd shine like a star 
I'd shine just like you.


Details | Free verse | |

Hypocrite

I am a hypocrite and look what I just did:
I fell into my darkest pit; now, again, and again.
I thought that I was strong enough to live the truths I said;
Now I realized I'm much too weak; a fool too ashamed to raise his head.
God, please save me, please forgive me, and please give me strength. 
I love You.
I thank You.
I am forever changed.


Details | Free verse | |

STAY ON CHEER

These pass years, I have been in a quest..
There are times I want to stop but I guess..
If steps and risks aren't taken, I'll be waste..
Thus, I try and try slowly not in haste..

To become a Saint, one must be chaste..
To become a hero, must death be faced?
To become renown, must fame be chase?
However, to be love, must one be on same race?

Building long lasting & steadfast relationships..
Will require from you more than stewardship..
Even more than a deal of companionship..
And more than just friendship..

It takes the right time...
Sometimes months extending to years..
Or a whole of a lifetime..
Only God knows yet stay on cheer..

By: olive_eloi
5:29pm
10/10/2013


Details | Free verse | |

Living In The World of Lies

Living in the world of lies, 
drowning in the sea of shame, 
the storm of lust follows through the valley of tears.
The feelings were lost and new were found in the valley.
Love for beauty, 
lust for body.


Details | Free verse | |

Dancing Flame

In the cool room of winter
Flame starts dancing in the fireplace
Swinging legs and arms with pace 
Swaying hands and shoulders
Like a lovely lady dancer

Follow her tender smiling face
Her warmth touches the nearby’s 
Cold skin that grins to reply 

She hums a song
Makes her follower becharming   
With a single’s lyric to caress
Her sweet mateless 
In the silent night dreaming

Outdoors the wind inquirer 
Raps the window with jealousy
Pretty flame and her follower    

Xaysouvanh Phengphong   
22 October 2013 


Details | Free verse | |

Hard to Not Look, Easy to stay Staring

I've allowed that burning boat to float off without me
Rarely ever thinking about dissipating the flames, 
As it is hardly worth the time and effort. 
In Truth, 
There wasn't much of a future with that situation.
No matter the attempts
No matter the appeal
It was all for naught
The only thing I worry about now
Is looking back at the Flames
And hoping I am not entranced
By their Dancing Light


Details | Free verse | |

The Snowy Life of Two Loving Ghosts

Taking suggestions especially on this poem. This is a first draft and I like it, but I don't have time to edit at the moment. Thank you!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two ghosts dance through the barren forrest,
leaving footsteps to be pondered about
by the man who owns the land in the morning.
Howls and Screams and Laughter and Love
fill the dewy dark sky.
The two, lovers in death,
never knowing of the truth,
that their lives were taken
Snowfalls before,
being murdered in these woods,
their throat slits and their bodies mutilated,
No one knew who they were.

But here they are again,
running through the spindly trees,
taking in the scenes of their
eternal winter.
He takes her hand,
leading her to an opening in the trees,
a perfect circle, no light insight
but the stars above,
so beautiful,
so prominent.
Theres not a place in this town
better than this
to see the future amongst the stars.

They came here that day,
tent in one hand,
telescope in the other;
their thoughts in the air.
They were seventeen,
Seniors awaiting the approval
of a diploma,
They should be studying,
mid-terms next week.
They took a fatal break,
spent the night together,
only belonging to each other.

The ghosts;
who's sight doesn't recognize
the spot of their demise. 
They sit on top of a large smooth stone,
Left their by the world in it's hurry.
They gaze upon the stars,
waiting for the world to reveal itself.
The screams and wails and love still permeate the air.

They fell asleep in each others arms,
and so they never heard the footsteps,
the drunken laughs of men full of sin,
ready for some action.
They found the tent,
they killed the innocent souls,
but instead of leaving they bodies,
they left the ghosts,
taking the bodies and
depositing them in the freezing lake.
They then sat upon the rock,
laughing about the deed done,
passing out in the deadfall of snow.

The transparent lovers jump to the snow,
throwing themselves down to sleep the night away.
They cuddle,
protecting each other from the snow,
the danger,
the truth.
The smile,
and with one last scream,
they kiss,
disappearing,
merging with the snow,
Part of the world,
and this spot full of false truths.

No longer do lively bodies wander about the woods,
and the owner hardly visits.
But a few times each winter,
when the snow has fallen so deep,
You can hear the screams,
the howls, 
the laughter
and the love
of two ghosts
dancing in the snow.


Details | Free verse | |

The Ripped Pages

The ripped pages,
torn from a red notebook
litter the ground.

And empty beer bottles,
are all toppled on each other
the wine bottles line the fireplace mantel.

Ripped pages from a red notebook
crumpled into balls,
torn from reality.

Like hearts broken,
from betrayal or heartache,
Ripped pages from a red notebook.

Torn pages,
ripped pages,
torn from a red notebook,
the notebook of life.

Ripped pages litter the ground,
and I open a bottle of beer,
I drink.

I light a cigarette,
I inhale,
fill my lungs with clouds of grey.

Ripped pages from a red notebook,
the notebook of life,
here I go, writing another poem.


Details | Free verse | |

What -Explicit Language-

Together tethered to existence
we act upon our soul‘s insistence
to dare and dream to find…? What exactly?

**** the morning;
I sigh as I step into the shower.
Soon to be discarded dreams tug at my sub-conscious.
Another broken plot-line is lost,
the wildness of a night’s rest washed away alongside it‘s sweat.

Destined to die,
we spend our days as slaves
so we can spend our nights upon the couch.

Our individual everything’s
are infinite and insignificant;
a blade of grass that looms large above an ant.

**** work,
I sigh once more.
The subway’s dim, flittering lights
set the scene for my inner city journey.

This endless loop of mundane madness,
brings no love, no joy, or even sadness.
Churning numbers numbs my brain
and although a robot can’t feel pain,
blackness stirs inside an empty heart.

**** another lonely night,
I sigh again.
I sip my beer and smile,
finding comfort in nothing.

A witty sitcom shines in my peripherals,
**** the morning, **** work, and **** the night;
my drunken laughter explodes.

This long campaign has no reward;
no fat pay cheque, or love restored.
Life’s mundane nature now a perfect fit,
for those of us content to quit.
The tired soldier smiles as the bullet hits.


Details | Free verse | |

The Tidal Wave

The Tidal Wave

I saw a tidal wave come in,
Raging winds and fierce water
Rushed,
Took the houses, cars, trees,
Street signs, park benches,
Pictures of loved ones
(Poor baby Louie, 3 years old washed away)
And along with all the power
It tore my heart out of my cage
And swept it out to the 
Endless seas,
And the great white sharks
Have their way with my heart.

Now bleeding and dying,
Pain follows me,
And I close my eyes,
And wish it all to be done.
Pray for me, I want pain no more.
See tears fall from the corners of my eyes,
As I breathe in and feel no heartbeat.
And they all look at me,
Faces of nomads and they snicker
At me,
I hang my head and cry tears,
But the tears were washed
Away in the tidal wave,
So I sit there,
Eyes closed
And I sleep the night away.

-10/2/2013-


Details | Free verse | |

It's over

It's funny really

You used to talk to me like that

Those words you said to me, are verbatim to her

That sense of devotion given to me, simply transferred to her

It's funny really



It's irritating really

How I could have loved someone like you

I blame myself for being so stupid

But you roped me in

It's irritating really



It's confusing really

What I ever did wrong to deserve your hate

How it's possible for you to be so harsh

I thought we ended mutually 

It's confusing really



It's sad really

The feelings went right down the drain, along with my heart

You made sure you got my best friend

Just so I could see how well you were doing

Well congratulations, I am broken

It's just sad really


Details | Free verse | |

Losing Grip

Future held such initial promise
But shallow dreams disintegrated
Coalescing into shallower reality

Despite my youth, pain cripples me to geriatric apathy
General interest long gone, death has become the single concern
A welcome embrace, a welcome friend
Tardiness is expected, as well as encouraged

Release me from these eternally shrinking walls
Allow the peons to continue their superficial pursuits
Never meshing well into the fold, I yearn simply for permanent isolation
There is not enough joy to justify the agony that life forever guarantees me

Nihilism and anger, desires for maniacal retribution, the only feelings I've ever known
Clouded over now by perpetual physical torment, my formerly hollow shell continues to exist without capacity for optimism
Yet without hate, there seems nothing left
Shall I forever be adrift?


Details | Free verse | |

The Bird

Mom looked out the window 
at the bright sun. From where she sat 
on her front porch couch, 
the world outside 
looked cold, 
the kind of cold that 
breaks wood and snaps utility wires. Suddenly a bird 
dropped down,
she supposed from the tree that towered over the front of the house,
and sat 
on the outside window sill. 
She caught eyes with the little, black thing and asked it, 
"Why am I so lonely?"

But the bird 
flew away after only a few seconds, 
certainly not enough time to 
answer.


Details | Free verse | |

Memories Made

The coldest white had fell
Surrounding all the feet of those behind
The day turned into hours
Just in the mind
Did the gift appear in night?
Or were dreams reality?
Did it come from karma’s hands?
It drifts from sanity

The trek towards that happy place
You’ve been there many times
Something was different now
It held a horrible surprise
The box wasn’t full of life and sound
The ashes of memories made were here
Taking longer to twist the knife
Left remains of a child now in tears

Standing still you couldn’t breath
Excuses flying in your mind
Trying to figure out the scene
Hoping there’s time
You look up to see
Expectant eyes for the last time
You wish you could keep
But it’s the saddest of a smile 


Details | Free verse | |

Invisible ailment

I despise you every day  
Pills needed to make pain go away
Tried so many to help me through
A pain free day, impossible that's true.

Patches,nerve blocks,try Botox
Acupressure, acupuncture, re-adjust
Ice and heat, new pills this week
Go down on one, go up, don't peak.

Withdrawals from one, effects from another
Lost another week, I want my mother,
Comfort, understanding someone to care
Lost so many, no comfort there. 

Dependance is not addiction
Explaining those differences causes friction
Making others understand
I need support, just lend a hand.

Living each day in chronic pain
Is no life, at times insane.
I wish one pill will end this drama
That all began from surgical trauma. 

Lowered, changed, done what I should
Educated myself learned everything I could
To find what helps relieve my pain
Because I want to live again

Living a life in chronic pain
Hell on earth minus flame
Having a problem invisible to see
Causes judgement, scorn, jealousy

People think it a sham
Never try to understand
Can't understand when not in sight
Explaining illness is my plight. 

What I would give to live pain free
No need of medicines to carry me
Miracles happen I'm told its true
If selfish oh well, My life, not you. 















Details | Free verse | |

Life To Me

I don't like to sleep...    Alone that is 
Daydreamers think...   Too long that is, for their sake
Days as short as the lives of greats
We miss the mistakes because of the stakes we raise
Watched not raised we forgot to praise but prey
We became when we lost for what we came
Did that title make you a name
Or did that title take the place of your name
In that case
Who are you
Not what do you do, but rather what makes you do
What puts you at ease
What is it about all your dreams
That helps u survive and believe
Cry and then  Bleed
Lie and then cheat
U can deny your defeat but
Pain ant nothin but ah past time for me
It hurts so good, I must be alive, what ah life for me


Details | Free verse | |

The last rose saying goodbye to love

Deep within a forest glade
grows a single beautiful fragrant rose
It's sweet aroma
floats upon a gentle summer breeze
from it's soft petals and folds.

But what makes this humble rose 
so special
is it's the last rose in the world to ever 
grow.

Such a rare precious flower
should be treated with tender loving care
but it loses it's once vibrant color
and fades and wilts  to brown
falling to the ground
only to be swept away
by a precarious turbulent wind
without the mere whisper of a memory
that it had ever existed
gone forever.


Peter Dome.2011.



Details | Free verse | |

Jewel

If at dawn,
in the first splash of infancy,
the cherub falls to the floor like a dead orchid, maternal
blood shall stain the symbol
of creation, a man
alone
without wisdom,
love,
or self-reflection,
is duly disunited from the root of truth,
“communication;”
the jewel
that brands us human.


Details | Free verse | |

The Hawk

The Hawk flys overhead
soaring everlasting in circles
around the poor field mice.

six o'clock.

The Red Sun is now parrallel
to the treeline in the West.
Six o'clock
Dinnertime.
The hawk dives down, like a speeding bullet
and snatches up a small mouse, who was walking
along the corroded barbwire fence,
with his sharpe and dangerous talans.

Six o'clock. Feeding time.
A lover is now gone from the world of field mice,
Just like that.
With the turn of a hand on a clock
Six o'clock.
With the rumble of a Hawk's empty stomach
now a fellow mouse is gone. Forever.

Sad, isn't it?


Details | Free verse | |

Open your eyes

Open your eyes ..
Love is a shadow constricting you up close
And when you sleep it lays next to you..

Love is a force that drags you, possesses you, 
And fills you up with memories of today for a life of tomorrow..

Love is a sword cutting through the soul..
Leaving you breathless for eternal moments that will never come back 

Love is like a feather blown by the wind, 
And injected in our hearts by a single wish... 
To never be alone!

Love is an aura..
We all have one, yet we can't see it or touch it,
We Have to believe  its there, and it will show up..

               ..to give us a chance to trust, to build, to fall,  and get up;  over and over again!


Details | Free verse | |

The Adventurer's Neverland

The lonely roads do not care
Its my fantasies and hopes
That rise and fall
Like the boundless grounds
Trees embracing the slithering concrete
Gives way to the peeping sun
And my squinting eyes
Engaged in a sword fight
With the sparkling between the leaves
The dust as oxygen
And happiness in abundance
"Adventurer's Neverland!"
My soul cries out loud..

Mother Nature's deepest curves
Beyond the reach of the mortal world
My insatiable spirit wanders on wheels
Feeling green,
Feeling blue,
Feeling beauty 
And feeling pain
When the lonely roads do not care
Uninvited trooper I am,my dear
Welcomed with the insanity of an unknown fear
When I ask for a hand to own
Mother Nature smiles..
She bathes in the lakes of Her ego,
Softening the soil that caress my ride
She lays naked
With Her highness to protect me,
And the valleys filled with warmth
Singing the melody like the Sirens lure
Intoxicated, the wounded pirate from the city
My soul treads stealthily into the world of the worlds
Sweet fragrance of Mother Earth
Drugs my heart and blinds my conscience
I peel my wraps off my flesh and bones
To merge in the grains of sand
The sands of time
Enslaved from the rocks of Her heart,
Omnipotent garlands swaying in pride
The sky reaches the lush greens and smiles
When it sees the reflection on the sunny lakes
Its a Biker's Paradise!
The puerile ecstasy
Like rain,
Fills my "Abyss of Want"
I find my being
In Mother Nature's Heart.

On my wheels, I sing out loud
" The roads do not care,
 The trees do not share..
 In my selfish maze
 Its my faith in praise
 I swoon, I swim, I fly, I cry
 I am Me,
 I am Her
 In the Adventurer's Neverland!"








Details | Free verse | |

Can

All by myself.
Alone in this corner.
No one to protect me.
No one to comfort me.
Can’t leave.
CAUTION!


Details | Free verse | |

Paris

I have never seen the Moon 
as beautiful
As I saw it in Paris
no distractions
Moonlight above the Pantheon
an empty sky
A new facade on a celestial
body
Goes unnoticed by passing
beauty before my eyes
A city dissolving the truths of
Space and time
For a moment, I feel 
inspired, alive and
lovingly
lost
In an empty sky.....


Details | Free verse | |

Goodbye My Love

Goodbye my love,
this life was worthwhile
until my thoughts caved in. 

Goodbye my love,
you couldn't do anything
even if you tried. 

Goodbye my love,
none of this is your fault
It's only mine. 

Goodbye my love,
See you soon
or never again.


Details | Free verse | |

Reflections of Love

I need to heal and fast,
I can feel the time running out, all too soon.
But can't push myself out of the agony,
The threads of pain pull me back like a puppet.
 
I seem wrong to be grieving now, odd one!
Everybody else is no longer black,
Me, haven’t seen the sunlight for long;
The mansion, its corridors, the rooms  now my world.
 
The wound in my heart is still too fresh,
It forbids me from a sunset on the beach,
It forbids me from running or skipping,
It forbids me from laughter and joy...
 
In denial: they say but it's not all true, I accept
I know he is dead, He is no more
But do I dump him in my past and move on?
The thought makes me hate myself!
 
He would want you to smile again, live further..
Strangers tell me his likes and wants, the know-it-alls.
I look straight ahead and avoid their prying eyes
It’s a losing battle, I know but let me lose in grace...
 
Visitors keep pouring in, with flowers and tears.
He was a man loved by many, the crowd proves it,
Everybody seems shocked and pale but not as lost as me
I glide along the windows, reliving the shadow of memories...
 
The moments were many, uncountable even,
It crushes my soul to think, they are all I have,
I see his fingerprints on the window panes,
I search for mine too, just beside him they lay...
 
The garden is being watered, but by a strange hand
The plants understand the master is now below them, 
He will never enjoy their colors or drive away moths
His ashes and scent scattered around the mango tree..
 
I smile at the garden then burst out laughing,
Before I know, warm tears run down my nose
But there still lingers a smile, wet with glistening tears
I am happy he lived, he lived full and more...


Details | Free verse | |

heard

 Sounds to me I'm deaf
Cant hear the murmur any more

 A thousand sounds a day I know
Only I can not hear it if they show

 The gaining of quiet stance
Bitter sweet the silence

 I could just not hear you anymore
I understand you sounds to my core

 Found myself straining to listen
Only to hear a blank shot angrily hasten

 When we come to sound out loud 
This is when I can face this crowd 

 Till then---

Sounds to me I'm deaf
Cant hear the murmur any more




Details | Free verse | |

MEMORIES

Once more shall I think of our past
That brings me a memory of
This bittersweet love of mine to you
That at one time, I loved you...

I remember those scented crackling letters, 
you gave me...
Is today stained and a crumpled sheet
Those days that we laughed together
Sharing experiences, problems and worries

A day that I saw health, joy and smile from you
A day that I eagerly want your sacred love on me too
A day that I seek your warmth beside me
That half a night, I crave
for the gleam of your beautiful eyes on me...

Yet we have woven endless pages
Of transient sorrows of the past
Together, we etched timeless pictures
In the eternal reaches of memory...

sometimes, I wake
and the loneliness of mine will come again...
Just this sudden aching of mine makes me cry...
a pain crystal clear in my heart...

High up the mountains; 
far across the sea...
Again, I need you today your love on me
Cause you meant so much to me...
You are the best thing of my life...

Always; but always..
Those memories of yours on me...
Happiness will be in our hearts...
If you and I will be together again...


Details | Free verse | |

Courtship

When being told you're “perfect”
but that it's not enough
what can you even do
in pursuits of love?

The seemingly endless process of
meeting and greeting
sharing, laughing, loving, caring
even becoming attached to family, pets
all so that it may come to an abrupt
ofttimes one-sided end- 
it wears me down
I'm far too young to feel as drained
I'm far too young to feel as pained
I'm far too young to feel as enslaved and betrayed
by this process of courtship as I do

Those older and wiser counsel: 
Patience, waiting is never easy
The right one will come along
You're a good person with a good heart
and you've got a lot to offer
It's their loss
*sigh*
I already know all of that, 
but it doesn't mean I accept it
It doesn't mean a part of me
cannot fear that the one I held dear
should have been mine to keep,
mine to fight for, mine to live for,
mine to die for
But what can I do?
What can I do?


Details | Free verse | |

Distanced

I can feel us getting more and more distant
It's like you're standing in front of me 
but I can't reach you no matter how hard 
I try and stretch my arms. 
The gap between us is as big as the ocean,
drowning me every time I try to swim across.
Why are you pushing me away, what did I do?
It's like we don't even know each other anymore, 
when really, I know everything about you. 
You were my shining sun, but now
my skies are grey and the clouds are drooping with rain. 


Details | Free verse | |

An Idea So Rich

Allowance
That is the true crime to my mind
Allowing entrance of this Idea
An Idea so intoxicating 
It Blinded Me
Clouded Judgement
Drove me through a Fog
That I should've never gone through
The Burning Light
It was the only appeal I could see through the Fog
The only thing that even enticed my interest
Was it Fantasy?
Most likely
Fantasy Enshrouded with Arrogance of my own Design
A Design So Flawed
So Young
It would have been the End of myself
Had I continued after it

Perhaps, allowing the boat to float on
Was the best I did for my well being
Staying Or Even Attempting to go Aboard
Would have proven Fatal
In possibly, the most dangerous of ways..


Details | Free verse | |

Emotional Imbalance

My knees get weak-

As you whisper;

Sweet nothings in my ear.

 

I start to shiver

At the words delivered,

Our fate becoming clear.

 

You caress my skin, 

Leaving trails of kisses;

Every place you touch.

 

My breath deepens-

As your mouth meets mine.

The pleasure is getting to be too much.

 

Our passion is apparent.

Our kisses become rhythm.

Our love becomes a song.

 

I could never really fathom,

How these feelings could be;

So wrong.

 

Now I sit and think,

Of how it had to end.

Our closeness is slowly dying.

 

If I said that I could forget about you-

this feeling of being safe;

I know that I would be lying.

 

Every time I see you,

I want to press your body to mine;

I want to hold you tight.

 

I love you-

Even though I know that;

You can't be- 'Mr. Right'.

 

So the struggle continues;

I'll always love you-

Until the end. 

 

It kills me to know...

 that you can't think of me;

as nothing but a friend.


Details | Free verse | |

Where Are You When I Need You

Don’t pretend to understand me
When your frustration and anger, comes first
Don’t pretend to nod and listen
When all you hear, is what you want
You treat me as if I am a brainless idiot!
Blaming me because I don’t agree with you
Because I won’t let you control me
I am a big girl living an independent life
So, don’t pretend to know how I feel
When you only believe the lies you convince yourself, I am

Don’t say you love me, when your ego takes precedence over my feelings
Dreaming of what you want us to be
Dreaming of me, from a far
Leaving me alone, to problem solve, on my own
I do this to show I care
To show you I am responsible
All I want is for us to be on the same page, sharing our love again
Laughing, kissing
I need your love and attentiveness
I need to feel your nurturing warmth
Instead of taking it away from me
Knowing my vulnerabilities
Deliberately hurting me
You told me you were my knight in shining armour
Where are you, when I need you?


Details | Free verse | |

Familiars

Ah, here you have come again,
Again you sit in this chair,
How familiar this room so is,
So solitaire in your life, ha, how fair it is,

How you engulf those emotions in bitter fire,
Drown your frown in a realization of emptiness,
How you realize the loneliness and abandonment of your mind,
Your hope and wish to fill the empty, lonely void,

Perhaps one day it shall all change,
But in the now you suffer,
You wonder your discoveries,
How enlightening were they really?

Hanging your head so low,
As if seeming to pray in the eyes of others,
In amidst reality you hide the corners of your saddened mouth,
Your hands caressing the wounded mask,

To lose yourself in words,
You search for comfort,
A faded hand upon your shoulder,
But your shoulders carry only the burdens of others,

To have your shoulders broken,
No others to offer theirs up,
You watch the river wash you away,
As you drown and ascend to your new home up above.


Details | Free verse | |

The Wasteland -part 2-

A long time passes and I am still here Silently insulting, brutally weeping But then I lift my head from the ground To see him standing there Towering over me in all endeavor of quietude Was he there the entire time? I feel his eyes but see only his stare I am dreaming again Has he returned to guide me? To frighten me back into reality? Who are you, entity of fear? I know death draws me near— But why, oh mystery, do you linger here? He never answers me, though still I try Why are you here? Must you hate me too? He pulls me up staring me down His thin, sophisticated form makes me feel hollow Empty features burning my vision As he bends facing me I never want to see your face again See, that’s why I hide. . . Why, I ask, my voice croaking Tell me why. . . He takes my hand as I cringe Walking me to the edge, his head tilted my way I shake like a dried leaf on the brink of autumn A small, pathetic part of me wants to thank him To believe all of this. . .is right How though, can I trust his blank sincerity? I am the only. . .the lonely But there he is beside me His long fingers intermingling in mine The sense of fear and confusion Sticking to me like grime I am the Slender Man—I am—your friend And for once I let him embrace me I cannot bear to flee He tenses and tightens his grip Dreading I may slip away in panic Please stay. . .please stay Soon it will all just go away. . . He is warm against me—alive Breathing slowly, I feel the beating of his heart Bashing my nerves—blurring my mind Tingles shoot down my spine As I stand there, so close to him We watch a sagging sunset As tears flow down my infected eyes I have learned to fly. . .to embrace the lies Squeezing my hand he holds me close As the black sun wearily lifts its head one last time Only to sink from its post I never want to see your face again See, that’s why I lie Slender Man cradles me in his tendrils Surrounding me like I am its sickly nourishment Whispering comforting falsehood I gaze beyond the wasteland Beyond myself. . . But there I find nothing Hand in hand we walk over the edge Heading yonder into the sheer, sweet Nothingness The demons watch us disappear Grinning from ear to ear I cannot see them now. . . But I can smell their fear -January 26, 2013-


Details | Free verse | |

I Am Alone



In the crowd I am lonely, empty faces pass on the street. I yearn to smell the perfume of want and the heady taste of fulfillment. In the bus I am the only passenger, I ride to the end of the line and back, Looking for a heart and a home.. and recognition… see my face. The grass is wet beneath my feet… I walk from here to there and find a way back. Looking for a light to show the way to a door that opens with my approach. The streets are full but always empty. Only the wind hears my petition. Perhaps fate was written on pages from a book written in the sand.
Post Comments


Details | Free verse | |

For a Moment

For a moment, I believed I even allowed myself to breathe. . . To smile upon you in all that was said and done For a moment, you were there And a simple thought made me beam I was there looking you in the eye it seemed For a moment, doubt swept under my feet Threatening to bring me to the ground But your words pulled me up by the string For a heavy moment, I realized Just how far you are from me Too far to be close—to far to allow that smile And for another sad, long moment, I sit here in awe-struck despair Wondering why the smile was ever there


Details | Free verse | |

Sepia stained tears

Sunglass water pails
The cover up, never fails
Draining water from her 
Heartbroken pools
A screaming silence
Blocked behind her 
Tinted view
With a blink, rivers flow
She is lost and all alone
Who is there ?
When there is nobody else
Beside her.

She feels
As separated as her tears
As they are falling
Hope disappears
Collecting pain
Where the hazel pools drain
In her
Sunglass water pails..


Details | Free verse | |

She walks among books as if they are flowers

She walks among books as if they are flowers – 
Picking the dust from their parched leaves 
like the busy bumblebee seeking for pollen. 

Breathless – She caress the patchy pages
to feel their scent – her favored perfume, 
and the texture of their numbered petals. 

She hears the song – The Silence- with glee,
evading the moonlight in her daily course – 
No bird sings in her hallowed garden. 

No poets praise her unchanging beauty – 
but all poems she takes to herself, 
reigning lonely and terrible in her Helicon.

She is never lost but she never leaves – 
Nor greets any visitor with her pale hello, 
absently wandering near her chilly stroke. 

The seedbed is sterile, yet she still rejoices – 
Winter never leaves, Winter never arrives, 
her flowers still colorful as they never were. 

She dances – her feet barely touch the ground, 
serene –never closing her eyes – not once, 
her fortune clasped closely to her still chest. 

As a confined moth wriggling her wings in a fray
- restless – she unfolds her arms and gazes 
mirrors incapable to reflect her own pale face.  

She walks among books as if they are flowers –
Flipping their pages without rest, without break, 
in deadly splendor after every lonely midnight.


Details | Free verse | |

Sometimes Lonely

It’s lonely being lonely,
There’s no-one around to tell how you feel.
No-one to understand that sometimes you just need to be held.
Sometimes, you just can’t be alone.
Sometimes, you will do anything to be near someone, anyone sometimes

It’s lonely being lonely, 
Everyone around is ignorant of how you feel.
Everyone expecting you to join in and be perky.
Sometimes though, you just need the world to go away.
Sometimes, you just can't bear to see the full lives of others.
Sometimes, you can’t get out of bed, and will do anything to stay there, sometimes

Yes.  It’s lonely being lonely, all of the time


Details | Free verse | |

Oh Well, Oh Well

I’m tired in this drop
The walls are all the same
I’m soaked now

In the midst of deteriorating
It hurts more than normal
I think it’s broken

The light up top is gone now
Just like the one down here
Oh well…  oh well.

The love inside the teardrops
Has turned to the coldest rain
Now there’s just the pain

It’s settled in my chest
Eating at my insides
Feeding at the dead lives

The end will not come quickly 
Not even quietly
For now, I just sigh at thee


Details | Free verse | |

Solitary Darkness

Here I sit in the cold darkness, alone
All I ever wanted is for someone to care
But compassion for me, no one has shown
Everyone else is happy, this isn't fair

Cast out by the group, denied and ignored
Tired of trying to find a solution
No option of mine mine are left unexplored 
Hope tainted, like a lake afflicted by polution

Why be in a place where I’m not accepted?
Forced to watch with a green chip on my shoulder
Condemned to always be forgotten and rejected
From jealousy and envy my soul begins to smolder

There is only one place I belong
Prepare your mind to be blown
Or perhaps you knew all along
Here in the darkness I shall sit forever alone


Details | Free verse | |

The Night Circus

After dark I feel 
The need to be awake 
In the forbidden world
The world that shows
Me my mirror
Of hope, despair, glory
A true story

After dark civilization goes to bed
Primitiveness reigns away
The ugly looks beautiful
And all are in unison 
Riches and rags
Virgin to whore
We all go through
The same door

After dark the sun retires
The moon prevails
With a thousand blind eyes
One sees it all
One hears it all 
Tomorrow?
Denial 

After dark sounds sound
Sounder
Louder
Sharper
The dark darkness
Brighter

After dark emptiness befriends 
Intoxicating booze
Lighter spirit
Gently infused

Bottled up emotions
The bottle helps …
To confess



Details | Free verse | |

Love is you

It never comes across my mind
That you're here to be with me
I've been waited a long time
A love like this since you here
And finally I have you in my arms

Together we'll face beautiful days
Don’t listen to what they might say
Just swayed them with your genuine 
And stunned them with your love

You are here to brighten up my lonely dreams
I will hold you tight with my love
I will never let you go away
And I promise you dear
This love is only yours 

It used to be me and this weary life
But then you begin to give me hope
And now it will never feel the same again
Coz' the love is you, an angel that I need

You are here to brighten up my lonely dreams
I will hold you tight with my love
I will never let you go away
And I promise you dear
This love is only yours 


Details | Free verse | |

This Road

A twinge of imploring doubt at every action
Tears spring from my eyes
I shouldn't have—but I did
And there’s no going back

This road’s a heavy one, I’ll tell you that
But it’s not every day I find someone like you
Maybe it was worth it—just this once
Maybe your eyes will open
Though your heart may close

This road isn’t getting any safer, I can promise you that
It’s windy…and slippery—the fog makes it hard to focus
But I can see your silhouette
Though your back is turned to me

It is not a frivolous chase anymore
This is all I am!
It shouldn’t be—but it is
And I wish I could just look away

This road is going downhill from here
Figures
But sometimes reaching rock bottom is a comfort
I might just find you there—if I look closely

This road doesn’t look so bad from below
Wish I had what it takes to ride back up
Let the wind carry me
But don’t let it control me

At least the wind that strangers offer
Will give me some breadth for tomorrow
But still, that split second I make a choice
I’m filled with that dangerous sorrow…

This road is looking up, and I can’t go any lower
I’ve been around this part of town for a while
Crazy junkies…litter…piles of bile
That high route just glaring down at my choices

This road was not constructed just for me—but for everyone
But give me a break
It seems I’m all alone here!
These bozos enjoy passing me up—well, let um…

Lord God, you know for a fact I’ve never doubted you
Though it seems like doubting myself is a smack-dab sin right then and now 
Give me the strength to take the high road
I’ve been there…once or twice before…


Details | Free verse | |

Your Will Be Done

You did this, you pushed the wrong buttons,
It was not supposed to end this way.
So now I hide behind these blinds,
I begged and pleaded you to stay. 

You never saw that what i sacrificed for you was way beyond my powers,
But input everything aside for you and now you bring out the sorrows. 
So thank you for showing me what your expectations were with me so you earned your crown,
So I say this as my finial words, "May Your Will Be Done".


Details | Free verse | |

the tides are rising

My heart is heavy from the waiting.
Lonely from sitting in silence
with nothing but my own inadequacies
to balm the wounds time festers.

Patiently abiding the time of recognition
when fate bows down and bestows a grace
sacrificing these tribulations for the mercy of love,
I wait for the coming of salvation
the benediction of true loves embrace.

The tides are rising-
and the binding on my soul is strong
am I to die a martyr?
With imminent despair I implore
come home and untie me...


Details | Free verse | |

Mind

Where are you now?
Are you in and among the crowd?
In a world in which I cannot follow?
Extradite to imaginary borders,
Where my thoughts finally unfurl.


Details | Free verse | |

killing joy

Within the pearled
 half-light of morn',
 in the stilled silence
 of the first breath 

I watch opaque dreams
 drift to and fro,
 un-lighting the last star
 unhitching illusions
 the black silk sheet of night
 is pulled back
 and white silt skies of day
 roll out

again,
 in this never world
 I entertain grand designs
 serving them respect
 with small glances,
 filled with the denial
 of an ounce of lunacy 

the kookaburra is silent
 the morning song
 has canceled forever,
 I breathe the dust of sadness
 nevermore, how can I dance in life?
 when death is in my veins 

Surrounded by the essence of life,
 I am the agony,
 in the joy of this world.


Details | Free verse | |

Troglodytic

It does, not seem possible;
That in a world, so large;
That loneliness, could be
So colossal.
It does not, seem possible;
That a person, could become,
So lonely, that she resembles
A fossial.
It does not, seem likely;
That fate, would be so
Misunderstanding; as
To, act so lightly.
If, it is possible, for
One, to be so forsaken;
Then she, must be philosophical;
And if, she be philosophical.
Her elevation, in the end,
Will be, quite logical;
Her sense of logic will prevail
So, though would not, be curtailed.


Details | Free verse | |

The Most Fascinating Person I Ever Knew

You were the most fascinating person I ever knew,
every part of you, every fiber;
I loved the shine of your lucent eyes,
the saccharine taste of your lips;
you fought for my sanity
whilst losing your own, and
I cannot explain how much I thank you
for that.
You were the most fascinating person I ever knew,
but now you have disappeared;
I cannot see the emotion in your once-lucent eyes,
I cannot even dream of tasting your lips again,
and now I am fighting for your sanity
as you once did for me, but
you do not notice why I
do it.
You were the most fascinating person I ever knew,
and now,
you are the
emptiest.


Details | Free verse | |

The Longing

The silence cradling me is shattered by the sound of one leaf landing on the grass. In the space between this leaf hitting the earth and that leaf shaking itself loose, and racing to join it, I have endured a lifetime of longing for you.


Details | Free verse | |

Fulfillment

The lonely watcher
stands among the many
hopes and dreams
of the silent people
and makes a wish.
The lonely watcher
opens her heart
and waits for comfort
from the listeners
when she cries,
but there is no solace,
and deep inside
a sadness grows.
In the stillness
of her despair,
the lonely watcher
is touched gently
by loving kindness.
Her veil of silence
is lifted
as she hears the words
I love you.


Details | Free verse | |

A Letter to Midnight

Hello again, midnight.
What a bittersweet reunion; my love for thee overtaken by detest.
How I spurn thee for thy swiftness in overtaking my day.
For rushing past me, as if to remind me that my time is limited,
That I am a mere mortal with dwindling power.
Yes, I detest thee, midnight;
Yet I love you.
You enhance the duality of my human nature by bequeathing me delirium,
By unlocking the primal Hyde from the cellar where he had been kept,
Hidden away and sequestered for the duration of daylight.
Do you also hate me, midnight?
You bring with you unwelcome guests every time you visit my dwelling.
Self-loathing, Anger, Loneliness, Exhaustion, and Hopelessness—
They all make themselves at home in the parlor of my Heart.
Why have you betrayed me, midnight?
I once loved you, for bringing me freedom from the arduous troubles of the day.
For cloaking me in your dark robes so I could sleep more comfortably.
You liberated me from the toilsome thoughts of reality.
You delivered me into a land of dreams.
Why have those dreams since soured? 
No longer are they sweet.
No more do you free me, as you once so lovingly did.
Do you remember those glorious evenings?
You gave me the gift of a jet-black sky, spangled with blazing pinpricks of light.
Orion, Lyra, Ursa Major…smiling and sparkling from their invisible towers.
Fiery streaks of stars racing to earth, unseen owls hooting and cheering as spectators.
Where has all that gone, midnight? 
Why do you no longer lavish your gifts upon me?
How have I wronged you?
Have I disgraced you?
What will it take for me to make you relent,
 To again extend to me your loving embrace?
Or have you come to love my Hyde instead of my Heart?


Details | Free verse | |

THE STONE

It stands, the stone, a cold gray, a grave
Marker, etched, engraved, branded by date
And name.
Alone tree, a dark elm, covered in yellow
Leaves of fall, a blanket of sunshine.
A contrasting of irony, death and life,
Side by side.
Beneath no life, once alive,  remnants
Refuge, buried under ground.
A silken lined chamber, of white
Elegance, a coffin death's santurary.
 Holding nothing, but
Skeletal bones, of the forgotten.
Do angels weep for the dead,
Do the dead weep for themselves,
Within their shallow, earthen prisons?
Warmth or chill,  remorse's for-get-me-knots,
Regrets petals falling, from the reddest
Rose, lain against an inscriptions crept. 
Within each depth of layered soil, 
Is colors light brown unto darkest black. 
Here light fades by the inch, until nine
Feet equals the leveling point, of no return.
One mourner, one priest, saying a spiritual
Farewell, to the diciest.
In reverences pondering, with a quiet
Moments pausing, for respect, 
Two heads are bowed
In prayer.
In humanities photo albums, you'll
Find know mention, or mark that this soul
Has made.
Say but one a stone brick, etched, with
A date and a name.
As the Autumn leaves, are blown across
An unvacant neglected site,
A spirit lingers in the chambers, of
Heaven, awaiting for the lone mourner,
To embrace him with a thanks, to be
Remembered at least by one.


BY: CHERYL ANNA DUNN










Details | Free verse | |

Shade of pink

The flowers are some shade of pink, 
I couldn't really grasp the exact color because I was in a rush to get them to you,
I didn't want that color,
I wanted the color blue,
Because I really don’t love you,
Like that, 
I see you as a person I can talk to you,
Not a person that I can lay next to,
I want to break up with you,
I don’t have the courage to so,That’s why now,
I’m sitting next to you and your pink flowers,
Wishing that I have powers, 
To change myself to someone that is not a coward.


Details | Free verse | |

Grasping the Wind

Trying to walk on water
Trying to grasp the wind
always so close but yet so faraway
I'm at a loss
My hopes and dreams are dwindling.

My mind and heart are in turmoil
my soul lonely
battered and bruised 
I still have so much love to give
But without love
I cannot breath
and find it hard to live.



Peter Dome.copyright,2013.Dec.


Details | Free verse | |

Frozen ghost

Parchment-paper trees 
Rise from a backbone of fallen snow 
I walk through the skeleton of the world


Details | Free verse | |

All That I'd Ever Want

All That I'd Ever Want
Would be to confess my love 
As I hold you gently, embracingly in my arms

And to appreciate your beauty
While falling every day, over and over
For your sweet loving charms


Details | Free verse | |

Last To Say

Short breath no breath barely breathing
All the cuts on my wrists is what I'm seeing
I never though I'd take this fall
Treat my wrists like used rag doll
Pop pill after pill until I hit four
Then my cold lifeless body went and hit the floor
Then my rush starts to peak like a summit
Then to the floor everything from my stomach
Now I lay on a vomit filled floor
Thinking like why did I do this for?
Got up grabbed the noose grabbed a chair
This is it no more cares
I wish all my friends they could see
Why didn't you fight for me
All I needed was a helping hand
Not a push from you into the sand
And damn the day that those mother****ers found me
Laying on the floor with a pool of blood around me
I dared to look into the eyes of no one when I woke up
I had too much shame, and my pride? Whooooooo
When I woke I cried because I wasn't dead
It just always reminded me
Even in committing suicide I was a failure
All those kids were right
I thought after 19 times that death was imminent
I looked for death but it never came



I don't recall much after, but something about being in and out of rehab made me decide to live
So I searched for life, and EVERYWHERE I looked, I found it. So I chose life, and I don't regret it. Because hey sometimes 19 times is the charm.


Details | Free verse | |

Where Are You

Where Are You?

I don’t see you
You said that you would come
I’m cold and lonely
Where are you?

All this mistletoe
With not a soul to kiss
I’m all alone.
Where are you?

I gave some silly reason
Just to leave the house.
You said you would come.
Where are you?

For others there is cheer
It’s Christmas season
I’m all alone.
Where are you?


Details | Free verse | |

He walks alone - 5 minute contest

He plays guitar and flute
Walking the streets alone
Asking, looking always on alert
Looking for his son

Every street in every town
Every boy that  passes by
He looks to see if its Owen
Taken by his wife he knows not why

Contest. 5 minute challenge

Penned . 13 May 2013






Details | Free verse | |

Life is what happens

[ edit poem ]
Life Is What Happens

What a long, strange life it’s been.
Childhood and adolescence were close to normal,
I never felt quite right,
Never fit my image of a normal kid.
Dealing with internal demons for so many years.

Adolescence was hell,
The frigging dybbuks took control
Internally screaming, “your not good enough”, “your dirt”,
Externally, manifesting as cystic acne, ugly, festering sores.

Then long hair, drugs and rock n roll.
Feelings of compassion, and forgiveness.
For awhile the voices got quieter,
Infrequent periods of contentment,
First love, and then the Voices were back.
Alcohol, anger, self-hatred,
Move away! Leave L.A.!

Transplant to Sonoma County
Twenty-three years old, alone, frightened.
A period of relief, enjoyment, discovery.
The search had begun!
A time of growth, feelings of great love,
for life, for spirit, for myself.

Politics grabs hold,
Open to new friends,
Seeing myself as worthy to be loved.

Christine, daughter of the Motor City,
Nancy Marie, the wild one,
And then she picked me up hitchhiking.

How do you measure a life?
Marriage, children, many good years.
But the demons reappear,
This time as a progressive, degenerative disease
I watch the life I thought I knew, disintegrate little by little,
until I’m stripped close to the bone,
And I watch!

Three decades spent creating a structure,
A way of being, a persona, a box,
In which to place all our preconceptions
About love, family, commitment, hopes and dreams.

Like Schopenhauer’s “Will to Live”, life moves on,
Refusing to address the petty personal dreams, wishes, and prayers
Focusing instead on the perpetuation of a far less then perfect species

--Updated 1/25/2013


Details | Free verse | |

Ebony Aphrodite

Not even Tisiphone looming could invoke the fright this fury leaves etched across my spine
Olympus' indignation will not leave me in spiritual paralysis like She
(Shch, shch, shch) severing my Atlas, losing my mind--I can't carry these melancholy skies
Her voice, even in its brevity, balmbarded me with an inward rise of Dawn's rosey-red fingers
Now, Her silence--Her silence sings a delyreous epic of what I couldn't help, but destroy
--Without Her, I feel like Telemachus futiley fending off suitors alone
Promises to not fly too close to Helios: broken glass under a blind woman's feet
Like Perseus, I'll face whatever evil's Cracken; although, a life without Her, I'd rather be the Nemean Lion
Ebony Aphrodite, whose tone leers at me with a Medusa gaze
I wasn't Cronos; although, I was, in this gracious goddess' eyes, titanic
However, it now appears I've corroded our thread; easier for the Fates to cut


Details | Free verse | |

The Wayward Cafe

I sat in a small wayward cafe,
the smell of coffee beans being crushing into submission
tickled at my nosterls.
The sounds of tin cans and cups
some of them being stacked and others
drop with a violent crash.
The tables all red and round
There sat the women, with their novels, tea cups and coffee mugs
sharing small talk of innocent love.
Some women quiet and others talking.
All of them drinking something.

The cool air blew through the windows,
what a mess that wind made.
Blowing papers all around
and blowing the women's hair back.
A man sat there, writing away,
with an endless cough, a tickle at his Adam's Apple.
Then again everyone had a cough.

I sat there reading poetry, writing poetry, embracing poetry
with a pen in one hand and my head in the other,
gently resting of the red round table.
I wrote of the cafe, the women, the man with the endless cough,
that shattered your ear drums everytime he put his hand to his mouth
and coughed away.

A woman who sat reading way,
drinking lemonade and sometimes
taking long glances up.
She was waiting for someone, I could tell.
I looked at her and she at me,
and we both smiled.
Then a sudden silence,
she looked away from me.
A man, who had an ego,
(Then again, doesn't every man have one)
brushed my shoulder and pushed me away.
He apologized, not sincerly.
They kissed and hugged,
I went back to writing with a frown.
They went away in love, I guess?
And I sat all alone in that
lonesome wayward cafe.
Nothing to keep me company, but smell of coffee and tea
and the laughs of the women sharing small talk,
and that one man with Earth shattering cough.


Details | Free verse | |

Man and Wife

Dreamcast silver
solid pikes,
made out of human skulls.

Window seated
man and wife,
drown the coach with love.

Angry voices in my head
sense the sight
and smile.

Midnight murder flowing red;
cold delight
reviles.


Details | Free verse | |

Love reigned then

When you were here
I'd watch you sleep
While carving your
face on clay 
Trying to capture
your perfection
As my heart
fluttered faster
with affection
Watching your breath
release
Never accepting
bitter defeat
That's when you were
here
You were here

Now your gone 
I sleep in late
Time means nothing
Repetitive days can
wait
The sun can stay
sleeping
As the moon is my
friend
Silence the birds
Let the anguish
reign

My heart stopped
beating
Starved and just
living
Seeking happiness
from something
But life it means
nothing
Now that your gone
Your gone

When you were here
The world was our
playground
Laughter surrounded 
Love reigned 
When you were here
You were here

Now that your gone
I have to shake off
the cobwebs
Welcome the sun
Stand in its warmth 
Block sweet memories
Keep them in tight
Now that your gone
Your gone


Details | Free verse | |

Bye-Gone Era

There are few things that I rarely miss
But something about you makes me trip
I think of you often
Think of the things that I miss
About you
Your lips and your soft fingertips
Your dimpled smile and
Warm laughter
Are just
Memories of days gone by
Things that I cannot get back
And if I could
These things that I miss
Will never be the same as the
First time we kissed
Or held hands
Or said "I love you" to each other
I never wonder if your okay
Because wherever you are is where
You want to be
And its not with me
I never wonder do you even miss me
Because when I was there
Your heart wasn't
HERE.
Love, love, love
Is all we need and I
Gave to you as you pleased
Never enough
Never satisfied
And then I gave up
On you
But now I realize that
Memories
Are
of days gone by
Things that I miss about
You
are simply memories
Could it be that I
Just miss you
Or do I just keep missing you.
 


Details | Free verse | |

Mirror Flicker

I draw honey blowing wind
thinking of you ore precious
like a snowflake pure unique
One of a kind in seventh Heaven
arriving within the eyes kissing a diamond

You're my angel rays touching outside
inside the one in a thousand dreams 
beautiful nine is the cloud singing 
with the silver treasuring dream lining
A beam shining over her pale full face 

Brightly pearl cut ivory and back frosted jewels
silver trails on wishes sparkle enchants in a trance
From the vine floating bubbles burst
rainbow magic coloring in your light drunken
bursting celebrations wishes in the mind 

Dripping starlight desires your company
delightful feelings of passion burns 
Inferno of flickering flames dancing
in each warm breath touching beat
deep warmly kissing emotions
 
Budding rose craving sweet scent
new life arising stirs beginnings 
so glad it's you I fall to 
Surely as the sun forever rises in the east
Replaced in my nights sailing set to my best mate

You who raise sails with me without wings
on deep tides upon this ocean waves turn
under the moon and stars we bathe silver
Dripping love sparkling in starry eyelids 
Jewels the dewdrops each morning speak

Upon the ground as destiny calls sweetly
embracing the echos over sands golden
a lone wolf howling out lonely cries
in a cold winter lunar sky 
snow lays on the ground

Crystal true blue loving white  
in two loving arms 
holding your name smiling 
heart of beauty
beating with your love complete


Details | Free verse | |

Where Darkness Clings

Darkness clings were light doesn't linger Breath struggles were air is depleted I'm siting by the window staring at the waves of sorrow, forgiveness and love That crash in to are lives like title waves crash into buildings And down the way fair away children play in tall Fields were corn is made its so sad to know that inasens will never make it past 13 In a world were childhood fantasy's cant only run so deep And its scare to see how evil people can be when they justify it by how life treats them Darkness clings were light cant be Clinging like a leach feasting till the hart beat of the world is deceased And its so sad to think worms can drown in puddles created by cloud games And why is it we get so lonely at night Fare from childhood yet to young to sleep alone Is it fear of the unknown drawing us close Or human nature to want to pull the covers close And why dose sympathy seem to control all that we do When sympathy cant do nothing for no one I hate to think of the day when night is all i see A starlight world that can look so bleak and gray What dose the universe hold for lonely souls traveling down broken rodes I guess well never know Why darkness clings were light cant be


Details | Free verse | |

Boys Don't Cry

Go away!
I can manage on my own
Picking up slacks that my confusion littered
I have a heart of diamond

Why are you still here!?
Do you want to get hurt... like me?
With blood dripping in the trails
Walking on shattered glass, kneeling on salt

Leave me alone!
In this heavy rain with forests as my only cover
I'm a warrior immune to damages
But blemished with hundred scars

Boys don't cry,
But I'm a man with only this as my outlet
So run away from here
Grab me some tissues and don't ever leave... please...


Details | Free verse | |

THE 23RD OF MARCH

Thirty two years ago 
I was married on this day
It should have been forever
Things shouldn’t be this way

That love I had is dead now
I feel so much alone
There is no-one here to comfort me
No heart, so soul, just stone

I always thought we’d be together
I never thought we’d end
There’s so much love I had for you
My heart may never mend

My life has much more quality
More than I’ve ever known
But still this heart inside of me
Yearns for a love unknown

The lonely days and lonely nights
Don’t make up for lost time
But still I have this trouble 
Of trusting one for mine

I listen to the lives of some
There’ve had just so much fun
And I realize with a start in me
That mine was never done

There’s very few times to talk about
Of love and fun we shared
It always seems when I look back
We worked and never cared

We never dined, never went out
There was never a rose just given
There was never a time that I recall
A present just for living

It’s the 23rd and here I sit
Alone with memories
Of dreams I had so long ago
When I did marry thee.

My world back then was full of love
Full of happy thoughts
I felt back then that life would be
So full of love and sorts

For thirty years we were as one
Many a year too long
It’s over now, and I can say
I sing some lonely songs

I wish you well in all you do
And wish you harmony
I hope one day that you will find
A happiness that’s free. 


Details | Free verse | |

Christmas at Christchurch

        I feel translucent 
	a man of marble skin 
	as if dreaming my motions 
	every step a tread in water
	each reach of my hand 
	a ghost grip touches 
	but nothing holds and yet 
	I clutch these stones and 
	iron spear barricades 
	as a sea-snail would the bedrock 
	for this is my folly 
	to hug close the masonry of charity 

	I feel nothing 
	no remorse runs down my arms 
	to my useless wrists 
	no rage 
	twists my mouth into rabid snarl 
	no pleasure lifts my face 
	from the footfalls 
	of those celestial beings 
	bustling above

	not even a soaked black wall 
	on which I am a shadow 
	penetrates my deadened hide 

	I feel grotesque 
	I am a gargoyle of flesh and bone 
	sown into the fabric of these 
	towers with closed doorways 
	that form broken arch homes 
	for broken things 
	but 

	no longer am I broken 
	I have embraced 
	the cold and hunger 
	of my mouth and my soul 
	I am free of this place 

	Yet 

	here I am still 
	here for you to see 
	if you can stomach 
	to see me 


Details | Free verse | |

CHRISTMAS HOPE


Christmas, my Christmas!
The tree is all set up
The lights are all bright
Yuletide bells ringing
Christmas music is singing
Colorful wreath adorns the doorway
A sprig of mistletoe atop the door frame
Christmas flowers are everywhere
A beautiful red velvety site!
The mountains are snow glad
Leaves of trees are Christmas humming
Gifts are all embellished with laces and ribbons
Food is still warm, untouched 
till the Christmas candles wear out

Now done with the hustle and bustle,
the waiting has begun 
                               again
And I cry,
           saying -
Christmas, my Christmas!
Where are you all these years?




Details | Free verse | |

Untitled Lost

I have lost the feeling, 
The feeling of being secured, 
The feeling of being happy, 
I have lost the feeling of being in love.

I have lost the feeling, 
The feeling of flying, 
The feeling of being free, 
I have lost the feeling of loving you.

I have lost the feeling, 
The feeling of sincerity in your eyes, 
The feeling of being bound in your hug, 
I have lost the feeling of infinity between us.

I have lost all faith in us, 
Who we are, 
Where we were going, 
And I have lost trust in “I love you'.


Details | Free verse | |

Spiked

The tea is boiling on the stove,
the coffee is brewing in the pot,
the drunk is hungover,
breathe smelling like conyake and whiskey,
vodka goes straight down
when it is cold.
My tea is ready,
your tea is ready,
call the Queen of Hearts,
tell that whore,
her tea is ready.

The tall, green bottle of white whiskey,
moonshine, call it what you like,
burns the back of my throat,
my face grows hot
and my mouth and tongue go numb
with an intoxication that takes me
to a place of wonderous pleasure,
and takes away the thought of wanting to die,
suicide is not a priority anymore.

The tea is ready,
the silver kettle whistling,
calling us all to morning supper,
call the Queen of Hearts down
tell that whore,
her tea is ready.

She spiked me, she spiked me,
my tea and coffee have been sabotaged
and my stomach burns with firery white alcohol,
my eyes grow fuzzy
and the sweat breaks at the back of my neck,
and the thoughts of suicide go out the window
like a caged white bird, let go into the wild
to fly everlasting and free.

my tea is ready
excuse me.

-10-30-2013


Details | Free verse | |

No Escape

She's Loved, 
 She feels no love, not even herself,
 She's alone, But She's with Family, 
she wants to end it all,
She wants to be free,
 Free from her existence, 

She slit her wrist,
Feeling the cold dampness on her palm,
 Freedom is all she wants, a
Morphines running in her blood stream,

She can't,
She can't end it all, 
She can't free herself from her meaningless existence..


Details | Free verse | |

Missing Heartbeat

She is my heartbeat, and lately my hearts skipping beats. 
I missing beats like artist miss drop dates. 
Im missing her like she was gone to the pearly gates, 
But she just a phone call away, a phone call that's not answered on any day. 
I try to mask my emotions, but they refuse any longer to stay at bay, 
they've decided they rather set to sessions, cast away to find our heartbeat. 
And I myself have to decided to do what's necessary to have her back next to me and not an ex to me, 
cause forget the next one if its not her, no one shall stand next to me. 
I left her alone, but she left me torn down the middle like disgarded paper. 
My lines are messed up like a messed up taper. 
She is, was, and will forever be my heartbeat, 
and just hear it again Ill go through hell and back, 
pick and eat up scraps just for her love again to have back. 
And all the time people talk, 
people talk about all the fish in the sea but I ain't right for them fish and neither are they for me. 
My pain is masked like halloween. 
So no matter what I step out in you don't really know me. 
But she does, from the outline of my shadow to the inside of my heart she knows me from the start. 
I wish we would have never had to part, but I pray we get another start, Im dead right now you are the beat of my heart.


Details | Free verse | |

A line downing his cheeks

He gaze at the sky, asking for answers for all his why's
Where have been the stars, only moon beckons afar? 
His face is hopeful but sad
His heart full of love but empty
And only his heart knows
The bleed of longing, his aura shows.

He draw deep breath, 
Hearing her say the love she have, 
Sound of it warmth his heart but chill his soul that crave
From the solitude moment he now have like grave, 
Only silence is heard, nothing to taste and feel
Feeling the pain totally insane.

A line draw from his eyes down his cheeks
Tried to hide, wipe it but it peeks, 
Ah...when will he get the completeness he seeks
How long will he wait, tears flowing profusely
When can he have the woman he dearly loves immensely? 

Inner Whispers


Details | Free verse | |

Bewitching Nights

On a lonely night, ages ago A timid soul let her worries flow Into an abyss of filth and scars At the sight of a colossal yellow mass Million miles the mass traversed in vacuum To let its rays rekindle the flame of dying love with hue And to chase the ghosts of sorrows away To a land so barren and not so gay She shed the layers of gloom To let her naked soul eternally bloom Embrace did she every hued ray Which made love to her in a surreal way Every touch defined an era of mesmerizing warmth Of the twinkling stars and moon so calm The lonely nights,ever since, bestowed endless love on a soul with no kins


Details | Free verse | |

Scars

Do you remember when we ended up at that scrapyard?
(Running some errand for your mother or mine)
The cars were lined up 
Bonnets crushed
Windows smashed
Seat stuffing gathering in foot wells
And you slid your fingers between my own and squeezed
Bone against bone.

You said you never felt so alone.

I saw metal
You saw flesh
I saw half empty boots
And you saw half fulfilled potential
I saw families just trying to get by
Swapping crumpled aluminium for crisp clean notes

You saw us.

Wasted on gravel
Stripped of names and memories
Left only as scarred shells
That would soon be melted down
And forgotten

That night we made love in your car
Let hips press against hips
Let hips press against steering wheel
Your fingers grasped at torn interior 
And we moved to the rhythm of a radio 
That couldn’t quite find its station


Details | Free verse | |

Another Day Without You

A Drastic Turbine filled of emotion
A Overturned Bottle About To Spill
This Reckoning. This Fate.
     Was Meant To Fill
A Soul;A Million from inside & out.
But it's inside me, so I scream, and I shout.
A Vortex of maddness Fills my Mind.
I feel bludgeoned from the inside.
No place for my mind to reside.
Shall I find that place.
That place that shall bring me to grace.
I face, you face, mechanical errors.
Technical difficulties day, to day, to day.
It's not okay.
We should live in a perfect world.
Like when we were young, and innocent.
Not a worry, nor care in the world of wrong.
This Vortex inside me it twists and twirls
It's filling up with mixed emotions.
The desperation sets in.
The mind cannot stop.
It's like turning a broken wrist watch.
It keeps turning.
THE MIND KEEPS burning.
I'm YEARNING FOR YOUr touch.
For your love, AND your care.
DO NOT DARE, EVER TAKE that from me again.
My friend.
You are MY LOVE, You are my life.
Flaunt me. Tell everyone That ONE DAY
ONE DAY  YOU Will Be My WIFE.
Our strife is strong.
Our love is long.
A bond so thick.
Stronger than the strongest brick.
Nothing can break it.
But can I make it?
Through?
Another day.... Without you.


Details | Free verse | |

Walk Away

Still, I don’t understand;
Was I too suicidal,
My darkness too real
For you to handle 
And oh you knew me
And I you, so well,
Yet you say not enough
Or perhaps too much.
We ran out of words
And love wasn’t enough
To fill the awful silence;
You could never handle it
Either, among so much else.
I loved you too well,
Investing vital pieces of self
Into us and you, with no
Love, nourishment, in return
Because I was always there.
Never enough in sight
Or body, in comparison,
But don’t you know I’m
Not a permanent fixture?
Perhaps you’ve forgotten
That I can walk away
From the memories of
What was once strong,
Which now only burns me.
And so I saw goodbye
To wasted dreams and hopes
In a dead future, for
It takes your hand in
Mine for this to work
And you never could bare
To even touch me.


Details | Free verse | |

Faith Healer

The odor is intolerable
Like a foul beast clinging to the end 
I can barely subdue its subterfuge 
But here I am, 
I’m standing here of sound and mind
Waiting for the time that answers my own questions

Can it race with the fires of Orc?
Doubtful, but it can jog steadily can’t it?
The weather is awful, filled with sounds
Penetrating a document not written
It pains me to fight through the night
Not because it’s dark, but because I am just a shadow.

Lester drives but
Motional lasts forever
Still driving
Still crying
And slowly dying as time waves on
Like oceans that can’t be seen.

Nobody cares and everyone listens
Ironic, like a bible that holds lies and deception
Can its will be pierced?
Can freedom stay free?
Is it worth it to stay hooked when everyone around
Seeks liberty?


Details | Free verse | |

Hope

A blanket of white layers the sky,
Surrounded by concrete towers so high.

Straining to hear the wind, the birds,
My only comfort, the hope of your words.

I know there's a reason for the pain,
I know there's a reason I'm going insane.

Why we moved so far away,
I ask myself every single day.

I don't understand why we had to leave,
That we'll go home I have to believe.

I need to believe I'll see you again,
That one day you'll take away all my pain.


Details | Free verse | |

Voices In My Head

Cheap; Raunchy; Absentee; Tempted to kill; With uses limited to exploitation; Not really them; Some unknown thing; Testing different amounts of pressure; Looking for the right amount; Neon colors; Neon gas; Visibility; The curvature of the earth;


Details | Free verse | |

secrets of a wall

The wall stares silently at me and I back at it.
 I wonder how many it has seen. How many times it has stood watching the lives of strangers. 
They Come and go never becoming atatched to it. 
How lonely it must feel at times to know that everyone it Comes in touch with will eventually leave and find another. 
The stains freckling its surface tell me that it has secrets of its own. 
Like scars left behind by the carelessness of others. 
Yet I keep them there, to remind myself that those who are no longer with me, will still  leave marks in my heart.


Details | Free verse | |

A Doubt of Loneliness

Wonders of lonely
Wonders of me
The lonely is killing,
It is sure killing me!
Since when have i become this lonely?
Since when have i did?
No, that's right!
I have never been lonely indeed!
What was i thinking about?
It is not the loneliness, it's boredom,
That is killing me!


Details | Free verse | |

Ive transgressed my love towards more universal things than Ladys since I wrote this

C this jay aint the only thing on fire, displayed faint plea's lonely things conspire, 
I believe in world's where nature is shyer, I bleed in this 1 til evil expires, 
im tired, now exhausted from agnostic peers, manifesting 
contesting to use their worst fears, to entertain 
or contain you, god forbid it be a kid you 
re-framed to attain to, due to the 
benefit of self progression, still 
wary of scary ways they 
suppress in, forcing your 
mind to remind spirit, "I 
understand you're a man 
and won't fear it", "but the 
frequency of commute is so high 
they don't hear it". I was told by the 
wise you cant pry third eye's open, I unfold 
by surprise easy words that I've spoken, I attract 
to exact power peers who have woken, we share the 
same care for the weak and the broken, im feeling the yielding
of light in my being, believing is seeing so love is conceding, lonely to 
the only misses, who were born into evil and grow into misfits, I consider 
the every, the any, and all, I'm prepared forever to catch angels that fall.. 
                                                                                                                    .
                                                                                                                     .
                                                                                                                       .



Details | Free verse | |

Past Memories: Haunted Future

Do you sit there and feel like
We are on top of the monkey bars?
Do you close your eyes
And feel my arms around you?
Do you play guitar and remember
How you tried (and failed) to teach me?
Do you hug your pillow at night
And think of how you held me?
Do you remember how bad I was when
You said you'd leave? 
Do you feel guilty for promising to
Stay by my side in the darkness? 

Because I've brought your monkey bars
Just to sit on them. 
And close my eyes and remember the
way you wrapped your arms around me. 
I lightly strum my guitar
And picture you doing the same. 
I hug my pillow at night and
Try to remember you. 
And how hard I cried when you said
That you were moving away. 
And sit by the phone every night
Waiting for you to return to me.


Details | Free verse | |

Grey Day

Low clouds drift across the sky
a thick blanket of sleep.
Their dreariness drains life
from this once perfect day.

The sky drowned in grey,
the sunlight fades.
The flowers lose their color,
and the robin forgets to sing.

Not even rain will fall
nor will wind blow through leaves.
Nothing draws a breath
on this cold lonely day.


Details | Free verse | |

Desert Rain

On a day so dry, a maiden so forlorn
Silently whispered in the ears of dunes
That flew a million miles with breeze
Erasing the tiny footsteps unseen
.......
.......


This poem is a part of my recently published book - The Solitary Verses. You are invited to read the full version of this poem:
http://www.amazon.com/Solitary-Verses-Susmita-Das-ebook/dp/B00JTD9S7U/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1398178880&sr=1-1&keywords=the+solitary+verses





Details | Free verse | |

Me

It's like I'm trapped in this shell called a body
I can't get out
Every1 else all seems the same to me
its like all their minds are intertwined into one
I wanna leave this body behind
I don't understand people anymore
It's like they all changed
And my thoughts are trapped in my mind
I won't let them out
I am a lonely soul
I need someone to talk to
I'm lost and need to find my way for what I'm searching for
If only i knew what that was
I'm on a lonely road to my death
What happens after that i don't know
I hope i find what I'm searching for before the ultimate end
It's nothing on this world this i know
It's not a god, or a girl, or to be accepted, or even love
I have tried all of those
I think it's somebody who understands these thoughts i have
I don't know if that's even it
Am i Crazy or Am i just an average guy.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost child

Powerful loneliness,
In the crowded street,
Desperate speed took.
Secluded, inside, I am left.
What solvent, you give me, Oh! Art,
Fickle mind of a sincere thought,
Corroding, inside me flow:
The heart of an outcast.
Surrounded by silence,
I weep for their human
Which is absent in need.
None from the crowd,
Give not any heart to console
For the child, who is crying.

When, a pause in me,
For a thought was over,
The cry being fainter
Ring into my ear.
Series of questions behind,
Left to be answered.


Details | Free verse | |

Dear Sir

I do not wish to be alone
nor do I require the silence
        to ponder my thoughts 
        and reminisce a bitter past.
I have no desire for small talk 
my surroundings are a bit dull
and you seem duller than the four walls.

Wait!
    Please do not leave.
I apologize for sounding rude.
Silence and solitude 
       do not always do the mind well.
My words have escaped me 
       before they had reason to.

I look to the four walls
  for I do not wish to look into your eyes
I have looked and wondered enough
        about these four walls
and though you add a change to this dull room
I think it is time for me to go.
A bit of fresh air might do me good
A change of scenery
     might catch my words before they slip again.

Life  and love has injured me
and words hold no contradiction 
they only say they will not contradict 
         that which is.

Goodbye sir, 
    I apologize again, my lips are loose
   and I have wasted your time. 
         


Details | Free verse | |

Signs

I love you so much more than the sun in the sky
Love you so much girl, and just can't tell exactly why
To confess my love, to you, is all I wish to say
Tell you outright, at the break of each new day

Our worlds seem to align 
And it's not by design
I want you in my arms forever, to be mine
Oh love, just give me a sign

I've had none before, and well, you've had nine
But with this I am fine
To the shores of forever, with you, I will find
If you just give me some Signs

Signs, from you and above, oh how I'm praying for
Please pretty girl, won't you open the door?
Leave me crying on the floor
Leave me girl, wanting so much more

How can lonely hearts mend?
Find others for their love to send
All across the sands of these times
Show me the way, give me some Signs

You could turn a whole life's world around
Without the utterance of a sound
You could halt his childish whines
If you just gave this poor boy some Signs

Signs, from you and above, oh how I'm praying for
Please pretty girl, won't you open the door?
Leave me crying on the floor
Leave me girl, wanting so much more

Yet here I am, sitting alone and broken
No words to you have been spoken
Why am I so shy? Where did the days go?
Oh how they fly and Oh how you glow
Nothing left to do now, but wait for new Signs


Details | Free verse | |

Waiting at The Grocery Store

Waiting at the Grocery Store

Looking around, my fingers fidgeting a multicolored scarf,
Searching through pockets for a letter that needs to be read, 
a phone call message I need to hear, but there are none. 
And I am going over the list one more time,
Standing semi-still under artificial lights, 
Balancing on alternate limbs
For a carton of skim milk, a loaf of French bread, coffee grounds, cream.
With the arm of a dangling child, a mother rushes by
Pushing cold rubber wheels across the linoleum.
The frantic woman at the register cries about her coupon.
Preparing for a battle, she shakes her head
And waves the war flag,
Fifty-five cents off a box of Lucky Charms.
She spits discontent at a tiny, gray haired cashier.
“Expired?” 
In the distance a child is being abused.
There will be no gum, no M&Ms, no sugar-silence.
The man behind me chimes, “Man, these lines. Never seen such lines.”
And he lies about a place where there are no lines.
He looks in my eyes, tries.
I barely nod, no need for provoking conversation. 
Like the man at the bar who mistook, “Hello” for “Let’s go ****.”
The back of my head still throbs.
And I hate them all.

And I shift away, burning in my skin under the artificial lights,
Waiting for waiting. 



Details | Free verse | |

Foolish mistake filled with love, loss, pain and regret

Yes I did
I picked the wrong one
And every time I look back
The angrier I get
The worse I feel.
Because the heart is a fool
it never learns
And it never gets any better
The commitment made
Without any follow through
Was the mistake I made with you
And I know you regret the kiss
You regret how much you opened your heart to me
And I never got to apologize
But you can never amount to my regret
And that is my sentence
To me from you
The "what if" that stabs and stings
The mistake I made that snaps and rips
Because my hearts a fool
And can't see through flesh to the demons inside
It will never learn
But it knows love
It knows loss
It knows pain
And it knows regret
I threw so much away with an elementary desire
I played into that childish game
I knew the rules and lost anyway
I traded in passion
For cheap desire
And lost the one true thing I admired
Dark hair not brown nor black
Obsidian eyes, the window to your heart
Latina Hips that sway to your own beat
So ready to give
So ready for love
With the glow of loyalty and an eagerness to commit
I took and took and took
With no intention to give
I'm sorry I'm so late
For the promise of love
Is my intended gift
From me to you
I wish I knew better
But when you listen to a heart that's a fool
The only thing you know is love, loss, pain and regret

By Nicholas A. Bello


Details | Free verse | |

For The Love of a Good Woman

Give me a Woman of good heart
and I will show you a grateful man
with his heart in his hand.

One who has so much love to give
who lives life in limbo
and so wants to live.

I am like a lost child
an orphan of the world
unable to be
the best I can be
without the love of a woman or girl.




Peter Dome.copyright.2013. Dec.


Details | Free verse | |

Spaghetti

A click, click 

and the burner lights

tonight

I am not going anywhere 

but the end of the hall where

the broken fluorescent light

can help me cook and write


A red frothy sauce bursts, hot steam

rising up, mist over

a scratched tin pot

a dirty burner hissing, 17 floors

up in the tower with the whistling windows

And a microwave reading 6:58…


But the clock could be slow

and so could this grey day

As though it sarcastically is appealing

to my melancholy stomach

which absentmindedly turns in sync with

the wooden spoon stirring

the steam into submission


I now how to cook a couple of things

and I know a couple of songs very well

I also can cook up a couple of songs 

when called upon

And I do

more often than I ought…


Life

is sort of like the deep red pot

which I try to keep from burning

I try to brown each side of my heart

to keep it from really hurting

But I usually cannot

and today it’s hot

and it’s a bit hard not

to turn the stove off

and bring myself to walk,

away...


I’m just reminiscing 

and mixing in basil leaves

like other things, I try to convince myself

that this won’t be forever

That maybe one day, some venture

won’t lead to the red hot mess

and the seething in my chest

that always results from my best try

to love …


But a couple of leaves can’t do the trick

and nor can happy thoughts

convey, on a grey day in torre

that things will ever go my way


No, I just pray not to think

as I wash the dishes in the sink

which drains the waste of my ambition

down and out, never to be seen


I guess that’s just

how it has to be

Life may not be for me

when I making

Emotional spaghetti


Details | Free verse | |

i messed up

I never meant for things to turn out the way they happened to
I said if you fell I had no problems catching you
You passed me your hand I had nothing to attach it to
I thought this was just a phrase passing through

I liked you a lot
You were on my brain all the time
By my side was your spot
I was so happy to call you mine

And I know you felt so strong about me
Your friends thought I was taking advantage
Your friends said you were wrong about me
I didn’t mean to do so much damage

I became so shut off, distant and colder
Here I am wishing to hold yer
I was fighting so many battles
And had a problem admitting I’m bi-polar

I thought the moment you found out, you would leave
Well here I am alone
Wishing you were still here with me
But you won’t even pick up the phone

I pushed you away
Because i wanted you leaving on my terms
My depression didn’t want you to stay
So here i am alone and hurt

I miss having you by my side
Depression made me cover up how strongly i cared for you
I’ve dated other girls in my life
But none compare to you

It’s been about a year since the break-up
Thought we could beat anything that faced us
Depression gives hate and takes love
forced our relationship will stay shut

Our break up broke my heart and messed with me mentally
Somehow I overcame it eventually
Right people, wrong time, or you just weren’t meant for me
To write this I had to find the strength in me

You meant so much to me
I just didn’t know how to show you
How selfish I would have had to be
To make you suffer for what I had to go through

But i hold my hands high
I know i was wrong
I couldn’t leave you on standby 
Now i’m learning to cope now you’re gone

I hope you found happiness
I’m sorry we are no more
Don’t hold your future boyfriends responsible
For the pain i caused you before

They are getting the most amazing girl
I hope they realise how lucky they are
You may have left my life and my world
But you’ll always be in my heart 


Details | Free verse | |

When your not around

When you are not around my tears flow                                                                                       I try to sleep but I can't let you go                                                                                                You are there always in my dreams                                                                                               I try to hold your hand but I feel nothing                                                                                      I wish I could just hear your voice,to know you are there with me                                           but when I call out to you in the dark                                                                                           I hear my echo calling out to me                                                                                                  So what choice do I have but to let you go                                                                                I can't eat or sleep,I'm miserable like before                                                                              If I could just hear your voice,I could sleep at night                                                                     Knowing you are there,with me by my side.


Details | Free verse | |

Reflection of the soul

The window reflects my face.
Outdoor, the frog.
Inside me, is snowing.


Details | Free verse | |

Kingdom of Sorrow

I’m happy on my own,
No people to contend.
I get to be myself alone,
No reason to pretend. 

Sometimes  it may get lonely,
But this I know is true;
My independence flourishes-
No anger to subdue.

You break my feelings daily,
You care not about my tears;
I see your attitude changing-
It’s heightening my fears.

The depression drowns my anger,
The resentment kills my voice.
I tried to do right by you-
But now I have made my choice.

My strength is getting weaker.
The Walls are falling down.
The pain keeps getting more intense;
Thorns where once there was a crown. 

My kingdom is retreating,
My horses start to flee,
I try again to call your name,
But all I hear is me. 

The gemstones are now worthless,
The Gold gets duller each day;
For the friends that used to care for me;
All I do is pray.

Once I was happy on my own,
There were no people to contend.
No crowds in which to hide my sorrow,
No reason to pretend. 


Details | Free verse | |

Where are you my love

                                      Where are you my love?
                                       The silence is unnerving
                                         The worry is growing
                                          I pace and I wait
                                            I pray and I wait
                                          
                                        Where are you my love?
                                        The shadows start dancing
                                           The air grows colder
                                              I cry and I long
                                             I dwell and I long
                                          Where are you my love?

                                        Am I still in your heart love
                                I can't touch you and I can't feel you
                                      I only know that I need you
 
                                              Where are you my love?


Details | Free verse | |

ANGELICA'S INDELIBLE MEMORY

Angelica dedicated her life to sewing,
and with needle, tread and amazing speed
she created stylish, beautiful dresses for any doll..
a spindle was used for spinning cotton,
and an hour glass to tell time;
why did she work so hard at seventy three...
when other women of her age took strolls and chatted?
   

Angelica was a widow and lived
three doors down and often she told me
about her husband John who fought
in the Vietnam War and was awarded many medals;
her son Tod was drafted and was sent to Iraq...
she was too lonely and I was her other friend...
besides her spindle, doll and hour glass.


Angelica thought much of death,
and staring at me she tenderly whispered,
" Son, these three items I entrust to you,
when I can no longer use them...take good care of them. "
I nodded as she kept on sewing another dress
for a pretty doll...steadily watching the spindle spin
until the hour glass ran out of sand. 



Details | Free verse | |

Monsters

The monsters came back, 
They taunted her every night,
Telling her absurd things.
They made her think.
They whispered in her ear 
Trying to lead her to do 
something
She had tried so hard to 
overcome.
This was a constant battle 
Between her and the wicked.
And yet again,
She was left with nothing
In a dark room
Because the monsters won.


Details | Free verse | |

Be With Me Valentine

Troubled I scream into the night like the light of the moon
And it’s thousands of lonely craters, “why lonely you say?”
My heart would pound out a thousand dreams, yet all lonely
Into the night I scream again for a companion, only to be absorbed in dire insignificance

I feel as though my bow has broke and my cradle has fallen
And there is no one who will join me in a thousand dreams of pleasure
Except you, whose eyes burn in my soul like two mad men vexed with desire
Your presence to me worth a thousand craters on a thousand moons and I would still be in 
debt

Your velvet hair, bond behind your ears in a way that makes me feel, naughty
Your violent curves, squeezed into a low-cut dress would cause more cars wrecks than there 
are cars
Your perfect face. . . is the most profound thing I have ever seem

Every time I capture your sight these things drive me to insanity
Put these petty thoughts of inhibition aside, you are more powerful than they, you are power
Come, be with me on a thousand days of love, and a thousand nights of pleasure
Be with me tonight in the madness of my love and desire

Go ahead, be my valentine


Details | Free verse | |

Lonely

Do you ever feel that way? "Lonely?" I don't know how to describe it, Felt a chance at having something that eluded you? I don't know.......!! The trouble is not really in being alone, It's being lonely, One can be lonely in the midst of a crowd, Don't you think? I feel alone. My life is like an autumn leaf, Swirling in the wind, Every time the wind blows That's the thing about pain it demands to be felt, I know what it means to be alone.


Details | Free verse | |

talk about shrinks

You know i want to talk about shrinks(therapist)specifically all the bull crap they cause.
All the lies they ever told about confidentiality and how they would be there in the worst
to hold your hand.They seemed like god cause they knew what youd say before you said it.They helped you put those bad thoughts in a box and lock them away,They were good at playing god and they liked it to.Too bring a women out of catatonia was a miracle.To protect a depressed individual from themselves made you a hero.
The key word in all this is you.You and i were chosen to meet back and forth in a tiny room with a sofa a shelf full of self help books and psychology. A clock that went tick tock tick tock from morning till noon.Here.Your questions went towards me. Your mind in the opposite direction.You had a happy four year old at home instead you were at work hearing people sob.
Sir did you need a psychology book to spell the word compassion.Three months from now youd have me fooled into thinking you were the one i could hold onto.And perhaps it seemed sometimes you did care.Flash forward ten years.I saw you in the grocery store the other day.You didnt even say hi and when i stopped you you had forgotten my name.Im no longer your patient but thats a shame.We spent  moments together. bonding and keeping secrets from parents and now this.It makes you feel as if  your in a room thats dark and cold.Then the darkness starts to suck you in and you can do nothing else not even slow it pulling you in.This is what alone is this is thyself


Details | Free verse | |

Life On The Street

Dried up like a reservoir
In the mid summer heat
The cracks in the ground
Are like
The life lines, upon my face
I have weathered many a storm
As if
I have lived a 100 lifetimes,
Instead of one! 

Bare, rough, dirty feet
Shoes are hard to come by,
These days
Unless, I steal them!
But, then I will become a target
Having something new
It will get stolen from me
By some other gang
Or by some cruel and nasty person!

“Bare feet it is!”
“Less problems, this way!”
Feet are made for walking
I will use them
For what
They are made for!
“Now let’s get something to eat, I am starving!”

Loitering around Hungry Jacks and Macca's
Asking people 
As they walk out
With their hot, delicious, fresh food
For a gold coin or two
Dumpsters and bins
Look nice, today!
Only half eaten, stuff
A lot of wastage!
“Not the freshest stuff, but hey!”
Make do, with what we have!

The sun is shining today
Not sure where to wash though...
Water is scarce, thank god for public toilets
They sure come in handy!
They say it is fun
And you are lucky to have freedom!
But, 
It is a lie we tell ourselves
To remain ignorant
To pretend, we don’t give a damn
But, inside, 
We really do!

For you see ,
There are sacrifices
To the choices you make
When you have to live them, out
“Don’t be a fool!”
Life is no fairytale, on the dirty streets of hell!

During the day, 
The city lights up
It glitters 
As if
It were made out of gold!
It comes alive with people
Rushing here, rushing there, rushing everywhere
Not really knowing, what 
They are presently, doing 
People reminding me of robots, sheep and zombies
Acting as if they are in control of everything
When in fact, they are not!

"Who knows what is around the corner?"
"What is coming, your way!"
Life is unpredictable,
"Beware!"

“Don’t be mislead by the fakes, around here”
“There is plenty of them!”
Eyes are on you,
Down every alley way
Standing on every corner
Watching you
"You, are in ‘our territory’ now!"

“Hold onto your bags tight!”
For, 
I may be lurking behind you
One minute there,
Next minute gone!
It is the nature of the game
As
I snatch and grab your bag
When I see you off guard
Taking your money
Claiming it, as my own
You see,
I need it to survive on!
I'm banking on you, being rich!
I told you
This place is a hell hole
And, 
I meant it!

This dark place
Full of shadows and conscious deceit
Will swallow you up 
Eating, you alive!
You will lose your way
In its pit of endless darkness
There is no Prince Charming’s, out here!
There is no one to save you
There are only damsels in distress
Like me!

No one
Comes to your aid
When you need it the most
You could diminish and disappear one day
Within a blink of an eye!
Without a hint 
Nor trace of you, left behind
No one will see it happen
Because
No one
Opens their mouth up, around here!
So,
Love and appreciate, one another!
Care for yourself and care for others!
Tell your loved ones 
'you love them' often
And,
‘Enjoy' 
The home, you live in!


Details | Free verse | |

My Secret Prison

Trapped again!

Maze hidden cheddar eluding 
every twisting turn a doorway 
to the path I’ve already forgotten
a spirit broken within each hidden cul-de-sac.

I cry.

Depression building my will 
crumbling into fatal despair
that rages with a whisper
as quiet as a hurricane.

I sleep.

I scream at one wall 
HA! HA! HA!
hundreds more continue laughing.
Right! Left! NO! RIGHT! Left! Right! LEFT! YES! Right!

I succumb.

Cheddar thoughts and running 
water sustain my desire to escape
through walls of scent
filled dreams of freedom.

I laugh.

Test complete. Failure.
Should have smelled for Camembert.


Details | Free verse | |

Loneliness

Star light star bright, where the hell is Mr. Right?
It's now been oh so long, and I don't
don't want another Mr. Wrong!


Details | Free verse | |

Thinking of You

Thinking of you 
Wind-blown red hair
Gentle blue eyes
Inviting every tomorrow
Remembering every yesterday
Soft-spoken dreams
Resonating to eternity.
Alive and magical
Hopes flashing in the dark,
Fireworks bursting.
Energetic merriment.
Dancing eyes connect. 
Smiles reflecting
Strangers that night
Strolling amid the crowd
The tide rinsing bare feet.
Silhouettes prancing
Silent excitement.
Thinking of you 
Fourth of July
Again.

Ó February 4, 2014
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen


Details | Free verse | |

Alyssum

A longing heart wanders around there minds.
Hoping to catch the gimps of that warm light of the sun.
A cold out heart waiting for the fore finger touch of love
To soften a hearten heart that's tired of waiting.  
Bewilderment of a man whose heart will no one accept;
Trudged under the weight of heavy burdens.

The race is long and wears down a tattered old man.
But Who said this was a race?
Beauty in all things comes to an end,
so then will my love for her end here too?
Shall the stars mock the ground,
envious grounds that cannot touch the sky.
So too my beloved is far from me.

She stands in the summer rain, waiting for her lover;
Was it me or someone else? An answer known too soon
By my beating chest. My heart asunder to pieces,
Does my eyes deceive me? 
They that know my name does not know me,
Does she know me by name, or my heart that is given to her
Yet found it in a rubble trash.
Was I too late? Fluttering birds that flew over my head.
Gave me a reason to seek solitude and liberation.
A liberation from the chains of love that holds my heart a captive.
A gullible heart, that is fixed and broken again.
A mind so dull it believes in what the heart says,
Should i wait for the blacksmith to reforge the bond,
Between my obsessed heart that died and my wandering mind?

Foundering in the midst of all despair,
I found a light of hope.
That my wandering mind and my despaired heart
Convince me that one day the maiden,
An Alyssum will know my love for her is pure.
But can this too be a deceived?


Details | Free verse | |

Pain

I look around me
See I am not alone
I am lonely among all
No one sees my pain
I hide it inside me
No one sees my tears
I wipe them away
I bury my fears
I don’t open myself
For another blow to my soul
Would surely end me
Love is but a dream
Not ever in my life
Pain suffering coexist in me
I am not me anymore
I have disappeared gone
I hide behind a mask
Seeing but not a part
Existing but not living
I hide my pain, tears, and fears
I will not show them
I will not share them
Please save yourself
Let me go let me fade


Details | Free verse | |

Loveless

Walking through the forest beyong the hills
in searching for a light.
There is no one in sight,
just a white blanket of silence.

The resonance of my thoughts,
that bounces back every second.
The truly lonely feeling,
Of what is ought to be searched for.

Why do I feel so loveless
in the lonely night of tonight?
The sound of dead birds singing
comes to the whirlwind of praying.

The hope to go back where I was,
The hope of going back to the days.
These thoughts melt between my hands,
and cannot be touched upon again.

As I continue to walk down the forest, 
The forest beyond the hills,
I can hear a small bird chirping,
on the tree in the woods.

What a truly melodic sound!
A sound that sounds so splendid. 
The lovelessness that hung in the air
the sadness of the world.


Details | Free verse | |

Is that Love, knocking on my door

I hear a knock on my door,
sounds like tender thunder crashing
BOOM! BOOM!! BOOM!!!
I think that is love knocking at my door.
I went over,
unlocked the latch and opened the door
with the twist of the doorknob.
Love!? Love!? Hello? Hello?
I hear love knocking,
but I don't see you,
Where did you go???



Details | Free verse | |

Owner Of A Lonely Heart

With all the pain and hurts
The suffering
And the turmoil
Our lives have gone through
We are an 
Owner of a lonely heart

...With sins 
Judgment will fall
Souls lost, mingling around
Emptiness inside
We must be an
Owner of a lonely heart

What now -
Shall we do?
Will we continue?
To scatter around, looking for answers
That we may not be an
Owner of a lonely heart

In a Cross 
A man died
For our sin washed away
Salvation through acceptance
There can be no more
Owner of a lonely heart


Details | Free verse | |

Wait For The Sun

Get a grip. It’s all gone now, straight down the drain.   
All those weeks, months, years, erased.  Replaced with pain.

Like a Christmas tree, cut, decorated and then just disposed.
Illusions, realities, try not to think about it.  Just move on.
But wait, maybe there is hope, as the believers say.
No, that tree is dead and won’t grow again.  All hope is gone.

Darkness, absence of light, makes it hard to pitch a new tent.
Makes me feel incompetent, why is it so cold tonight?
Memories illuminate but a flashlight would be better,
Or even some matches to start a fire.  I’m unprepared.

 The dark forest conceals her secrets. I am revealed.
Anxious, waiting for a new dream to paint a new sky,
Crawling like a lost soul who has gone off the path.
Too tired to sleep, too hungry to eat.  Living on fear. 

Get a grip.  Breath in the air and release the despair.
Wait for the sun, she will come.  She will be there.


Details | Free verse | |

Love Restores Peace

At 8:30 AM,
"Get up, LAURA! Charlie! Wake up...Robert...Wake up."
No reply...no reply...just ignore my wake up calls...yell at me all you want
You make me cry...cry...just shatter me like glass...you place me in the trash, but I still feel this discontent
Deep inside of me...
There's a sea of remorse swirling around me...
At 12:15 AM,
"Hey Laura!"
No reply...no reply...
"What are you doing?"
I just want to cry...a river...why?
She still ignores me...now I'm feeling the anxiety...
She still jokes around with me, but I feel so angry...and so empty...
She's texting her friends again...I must talk to her sometime
She still doesn't answer my calls...she doesn't care to wipe off my grime
Sponging inside of me...
I guess I'm left with my chores for today
My heart is swelling up in dismay...and my sky turns to gray
And I pray...for relief and I just want to say...
I love my sisters and brothers, but they truly don't care for me...or at least that's what I think till this very day
This lonesome feeling sufficates me...
Go ahead and ignore me, sister
You just added another blister
In my mouth, my hopelessness avalanches all over the ground
You make me frustrated...and now my head spins round and round
And I feel bound...
By stress and torment! 
Go ahead and neglect my voice
My heart is seeping out misery...pumping with fret...
while you text your friends and rejoice
In my head, my painstaking regrets torture me profoundly
You don't care to listen - live your life without me
My soul is left in the cold...
Oh! Go ahead! Let me mold...mold...
I worry about you, sister...
But you left me to dry like glue...you made me suffer
don't beg to differ...
Go ahead! Blow fire in my direction...
I warn you...you don't want to see an eruption
I don't want to be ensnared by my corruption... 
Please God...pick me off from the ground...
and show me some direction
Or I'll be broken down like the titanic...
And You don't wanna see me panic...
Panic...
At 1:00 AM,
I decide to pray to God for protection...
I pray...I pray...
I wait for His reply..........................
He helped me fight 
my depression wars
He unchained me from the cage...
and taught me how to fly
He cherished me...
He understood me 
and He still does till this day...
He healed my sores...
And He doesn't ignore my calls! 
He makes me feel content 
even in the midst of hardships - 
I pray...I wait...I cry...
For His comfort daily...
to nourish me 
when I feel ignored
Or when I'm stabbed in loathe...
I pray that Your peace be restored
In our family once more.
I wait
For peace
To fix the broken glass...to fix the emotions breaking us all
I pray
For the chaos to cease
To make the whole world rejoice...to encourage us to stand tall
Will love make us whole again?


Details | Free verse | |

Loneliness

When I was born in the depths of agony,
the kin left me 

When I refused to accept the mindless norms,
the success left me

When fate played tricks on me,
the faith left me

When I bowed to the gloom in life,
the happiness left me

When I turned to the darkness for solace,
the shadow left me

When I closed my eyes to escape the reality,
the imagination left me

When I pursued the path of perfection,
the passion left me

When I failed to find the elusive ego
the confidence left me

When I succumbed to the promise of glory
the morality left me

When I waited for the whisper of love,
the patience left me

when I yielded to the temptations of lust,
the integrity left me

When I lay to rest at last,
the peace left me

Oh loneliness! I resent you but love you more,
for you are who walked with me through every door
and when I embraced you,
all animosity left me


Details | Free verse | |

Your Words

Get a life, she said
Dark thoughts ring through my head
I am nothing—for that is what you have made me
Tears streaming from my eyes
All the past happiness—the lies
Words do matter . . . they really do
They stick to you like glue
I cannot stop sobbing
For the words ring true
I am truly nothing—thicker than lead
The next rhyme will probably be the word “dead”
Damn this mind . . . damn this head
I cannot escape the sorrow
She held it all in
And it bursts now from her quivering vocals
Crybaby, she said
Oh, but you do not know all that I hold in
But you cannot blame them for not understanding
The fault is all my own
I guess the next word to rhyme is “alone”
Wish they could be something more meaningful
Something giving, inspiring
But I cannot help this—I am rotting!
I hate to be wrong but you are right
What’s the use of this sick denial and spite?
What’s the use of trying to live this life,
When I am looking for a completely wrong purpose?
Finding myself downright worthless. . .
I hate being right. . .
But sometimes . . . I really am
And it your words you have spoken
That make it the truth

Your words leave a shameful legacy
Like a sick memory,
Like a regret. . .

March 15, 2013


Details | Free verse | |

The Cry so Dark

A child sits at the corner 
Laying his hands on the ground 
Staring at the moon so bright 
Nothing in mind, but sorrow 
  
He speaks to the wind, nothing in reply 
He speaks to the tree, with only howling sounds 
He speaks to his mind, just haunting thoughts 
He then speaks to the people, misunderstood 
  
Nowhere, nobody, senseless and meaningless 
That is the life of a boy so complex 
He cried out loud, but no one is interested 
He wants to run, he wants to escape 
  
He is in chains of the dreadful eyes 
Worthless beings who compete for life 
A life so arid; prestige: meaningless in the end 
There is foolishness in the midst of seriousness 
  
Tell something merry and they will ignore 
They imbibe everything he is not 
Expect for his best, but he is nothing 
He fails, he falls down and stumble 
  
His feet will always tell him to stand 
Amidst the rain and cold, he will endeavor 
To seek his undying love long forgotten 
The existence of someone that completes his being 
  
His search will certainly end 
Lest the last drop of tear falls 
Lest the sun lose its light, the stars stop shining 
In the midst of the crowd, he smiles 


Details | Free verse | |

Free

I’m sitting here
Watching you
While your feet are on flat ground
My head is high in the clouds
Maybe that’s where difference
Tears us apart
Because in my free time
I look to numb the pain,
While you live
Free of the struggle,
That holds me down
Free of the addiction,
To anything that’ll numb the pain
Free of your mind,
Free of the demons
That plague mine.


Details | Free verse | |

Little One

Fields black and sundered so,
Mists of tears, forgot in woe,
Showers of rain, standing still,
Skin as white as snow,

Passers by wander not a sight,
Pay no heed to such a blight,
Showers of rain, lost in ill,
Wandering each... stone cold night,

Forgot, abandoned, this lowly one,
Hope is lost, all yet none,
Showers of rain, brights forsaken,
Misbegotten hope, now that all is done.


Details | Free verse | |

Fantasy

I miss you.
You tell me you do too
And I feel so happy.
I listen to you excitedly as you
Say how we will see each other again.
And when we do,
We will set out to explore the world
With all our other close companions
And act like crazy,
Like how teenagers are supposed to be.
And I smile a real smile
And continue to listen to you ramble,
Although deep in my heart
I know this notion is naive
And will never happen.
But for the moment
I will pretend to believe and lose myself in this fantasy
As you tell me
The adventures we will set out for.


Details | Free verse | |

A lonely sleep

And this sadness creeps into my heart, 
never did I think we'd have to sleep apart, 
but suns rays die and in my eyes you still do not appear, 
I wait for moonlight, and wipe away the shine of tears, 
counting the moments till you are here.


Details | Free verse | |

No Motivation

No motivation left
In this hellish nightmare
I call life
I have lost my reason for living
I just want this to end
Nothing I say ever helps
Everything you say
Just makes the blood spill faster
Makes the cuts deeper
I'm an empty shell
A heartless soul
Damned to wonder the earth
Never to be happy
I long to be with you
But I cant
So I sit and think
About those long cold walks
Those long goodnights
The long kisses goodbye
And how it was taken before we could start
I guess i know how I felt
And exaclty how I feel
I love you all I've got
I just wish you could be my one
My only.


Details | Free verse | |

Writing

Writing is for the strong minded,
The ones with will-power,
Strong at heart.
Writing is for the ones who are lonely,
The ones that give a damn
about the pain and suffering.
Writing is a lonely game,
words written on a page,
Too most mean nothing,
But to few mean something.
Writers are the lost souls
who tell there stories
and get paid nothing for it.


Details | Free verse | |

House

House, you have sheltered me,

And kept me safe from harm,

The elements cannot reach me here,

House, you look upon me with love,

Yet something is amiss,

A missing piece for me,

As if you were to miss a shingle and leak,

House, full of life you are,

Yet so miserable am I,

For love is all you have ever shown me,

And still you stand against the grain and the passage of time,

My heart, should it not be joyous for the plenty you bring?

Yet torn are many a shingle straight from bone,

Cracking, snapping as if twigs underneath my own two feet,

House, I love you so,

But today,

Yes, today you feel empty in my soul.


Details | Free verse | |

Harboring

Harbor a soft beauty it shines with a heinous glow All eyes exposed, my mind quivers in your sight Your touch as gentle as even the lightest snow Speaking shallow, I wish I never had to say goodnight - Broken and frail I had become in this world Healing properties your soul hither harbor I can barely breath my mind is now unfurled In the nirvana of your love in word order - In the midst of the storm your eyes gloss As I barely can stand to see them glisten Embrace the depression I have in loss Heroin bring the pad all my emotions written - Slice me open with the flawless hair you thread Let the blood trickle so I can later feed To all the others of society I've become misread Fall deep under the Atlantic sky I proceed


Details | Free verse | |

Alone, I Roam Home

Life's like a dream
It has its highs and lows
You're going along with the ride
You might have a boost of self-esteem  
Or it might inject you with blues and abominable frowns 

*chorus* Alone, I roam alone x3
Tonight, I walk alone
Tonight, I will be loner,
but a selfish winner... I suppose 
I'm writing lyrics and poetry, not prose

Anything's better than to be left in my solitude...my sorrow is licking me...it's licking the smiles off my face
I can't keep pace...I'm floating into space and I'm reaching for the stars now... See me fly so wondrously in thin air
Without a care x2
In the world...so stress-free and full of inner glee
Full of inner light
Full of inner darkness

*chorus* Alone, I roam alone x3
Tonight, I walk alone
Tonight, I will be loner,
but a selfish winner... I suppose 
I'm writing lyrics and poetry, not prose

Taking advantage of a great possibility...
I'm anxiety-free...happy-go-lucky...
But, I feel like I'm a total wreck and a Downright losahhhhh 

*chorus* Alone, I roam alone x3
Tonight, I walk alone
Tonight, I will be loner,
but a selfish winner... I suppose 
I'm writing lyrics and poetry, not prose
*Bridge* Alone, I roam alone x3
Everyone is gone 
From my sight...
It's as if I'm invisible...
No one sees me...
Anymore 

Just build your strengths and deal with them while you carry on 
Just try with all of your might to
Fight the good fight 
But, they tell me to grow up...I was like, "who? Me...oooooh...dude, watch out, alright?"
And I tell them to stop being so mean and nodded them a "what's up"

I'm so far away from my home
Alone, I roam home...come on x2 
They tell me to grow up...
And I tell em to shut up!

*chorus* Alone, I roam alone x3
And no ones cares...
It's so unfair...this pain's unbearable 
Tonight, I walk alone
Tonight, I will be loner,
but a selfish winner... I suppose 
I'm writing lyrics and poetry, not prose and all that jazz...

And I tell em straight to their faces: 

"I'd rather walk alone...
than to walk with you jerks...and don't call my phone"
Ooooooh burn...


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Amongst Despair

I’ve been in this place many times,
Where nothing interests me but sleep-
It’s a place that I hate revisiting-
It is where I run to when I am lost.

The night is black,
The pavement is wet.
There is no one around,
And I am left with myself.

I am a tortured soul, 
 My thoughts run like toxin;
 They seep throughout my fragile mind.
I lapse further into despair. 

I am running.
The trees beside me are a blur.
With every stride more anger flows.
All of my frustration is concentrated; propelling me forward. 

The sky holds all of the answers,
And for just a moment,
I feel like I can disappear;
Into the blackness that surrounds me.

Trapped is the girl that I once knew,
She is alone and encaged by my ribs.
For there is a difference between; 
Who I am and who I’ve been. 


Details | Free verse | |

I Walk Down A Lonely Path

I walk down a lonely pathway today
I ask God to bless me as I pray
Today Dear Lord is your Day
Help Me, Help, Help us along this pathway

This Springtime is Hear
And the Roses smell so clear
There blooming again
I watch them near

Today is a new Day
On this lonely Pathway
I met Jesus Today
He came into my Heart to Stay

Tomorrow will come again
I touch the breeze
As the gentle wind
And, begin my Pathway All Over Again

Copyright, 2006... Betty L. Hobbs


Details | Free verse | |

Tearful

Here I stand behind my smiling face
Perplexed by every breath I take
Facing my bad choices in the eyes 
Wondering what worthiness could be wrought from its creases
What elixir of enlightenment is to be gained 

Through each tear I pour out my heart
Head bowed low to avoid any chance
Of seeing the disappointment etched in his expression
This condescending reflection of my own bad judgment
Whose disdainful eyes pierce my chest
As he surveys the wreck in front of him

Entombed by emotion fearing sleep, poor child
I turn to sleep
Pulling the covers over my dreams
Plagued by indomitable visions of days long passed
When I knew this stranger 
And more importantly when he knew me


Details | Free verse | |

a midnight wish

There’s a chill in the cold 
And it’s going nowhere 
She says it’s going to get worse 
Before it get better 
But we’ll hold on like stormy weather

If midnight falls then I’m homeless 
She says so calmly 
The winds going to take me away
But I don’t want to go lonely 

She likes to think
That you can carry on for sometime
She marries for the day
But she yields from the moments 

There’s everything you hope for
A map for the road
A picture for your wall
A lasso around the moon
Dawn, she's going to come to soon

She smiles softly
If midnight falls then it’s hopeless
She says so calmly
The winds going to take me far away
But I don’t want to leave you lonely 

She concludes
You can’t take away from a man
What he’s already lost 
But she insist 
That bubble baths and a warm massage
Will take away your Sunday misery

i fear it all sometimes
i hear your screams
and i wonder
if you're calling
but i can't reach you 
no i couldn't reach you
i tried but i just couldn't save you


Details | Free verse | |

April

April

Admitting that I don’t 
Still care even though it’s not fair
to be without everything
that made me 
exactly what it was to feel
what it was to be real
and now I don’t care anymore

Like the hands on a clock change 
Arms roll loose and free
Never knowing what to grab
Or to even believe in me
To catch a fall from a distance
Even though it’s right next to me
You still can’t believe 
I’d be there for every instance

Rollin like eyes on a face 
too bad the smile’s fake 
showing  mistakes
never seeing through to the truth 
but the words can’t lie 
when it makes the features
turn, to a painful time

Cause the thought remains				
Of how it’s never the same									       How I changed my ways
In these turbulent days
I can’t face now what’s in store
Cause there’s always gonna be that much more
Waiting, and hiding, 
Behind every curve
Like the moonlight
Sitting on the edge of your nerves
Shattering hopes and dreams
Misleading 
And revealing what’s not anymore


When the light shines green
its just to deceive
Even though it’s against
Everything you’ve seen
It’s dark 
Inside the heart
Filled with stains from yesterday’s rain
Leaving what’s left in the distance
And never feeling what’s real anymore
Try to look past the stage, of the rage
Knowing full well that
In this world we dig our own graves

Take me, I can not fight myself
Stretching, a life’s worth is just too much
Saddening, to run from my old self
Causing, a stigma in my eyes 

You hear a chime
Lost in age, 
A match to a time
Before May
When everything was safe

Take everything with a grain of salt cause
In the end it’s no one’s fault
Like assault
On a memory fading in the wind
No matter what it’s still a sin
Just roll with the punches kid
It’ll all turn round in the end


Details | Free verse | |

Alone and Tired

Show me
how to live again

Alone
I am soulless

A hobo
without a home

Lone bird
flying to nowhere

Sleeping
not in love
with loneliness

My lovers
are the sky and moon

Dark of night
demons stroll

light of day
angels sing

in between
I am alone

Tired
of being alone

Tired
of being empty

Stuck

Wishing
I could start over

Tired
of faking it

Just tired
of being tired...


Details | Free verse | |

Stopped

Im still looking for love,
But i think love itself,
Stopped looking for me,
And if this is true,
How could this be,
How cant i see,
This lonely fate that is placed upon me,
But i only hope that thy will wait for thee,
To come bare the key,
To set me free,
Of this lonely fate that is placed upon me.


Details | Free verse | |

Sincere

No more crying my dear
Your pounding heart is making a stumble
Listen to my thump honey
Your cold, dead lips…
You’re saved now, no longer the enemy …
Love is but a rational number
Uncouth warming sensations along the spring breeze
The ways are crafty, oh so crafty…
But do we honestly care?
Ha… Care, such a lonely word…
These thoughts are all empty, until you show…
Dependency…
Its all I have to grow…
Until my reason is to not…
Tears dried all up...
Time to be a man...
Come on Seth... Stand...
Optimism, shown only to those who wait...
Kinda' like happiness...
Kinda' like death...
My sadness will one day bring wealth...
But happiness will stay on the shelf...
Left along with my better welsh...
By my self...
Alone...
Alone....
Alone.....
Someone?


Details | Free verse | |

In the Dark

Below the stars and silver moon,
Abounds the coruscation of silhouetted curves.
Sinusoidal and voluptuous,
Seismic undulating and venereal.

Your mind synaptically aglow under the light,
Evokes ethereal perspicacity within my soul.
A torrent tsunami of desire thrusts my body.
Leaves me wanting to make love to you:

Make love to your mind,
Make love to your body,
Make love to your heart,
Make love to your soul.

All under the emanating fragrance of the horticultural moon.


Details | Free verse | |

The Libraries are Warm

For a bum like myself,
the libraries are warm.
I walk down cold and lonesome
avenues and deserted streets
and I am cold and lonely.
I clench at my heart
to stop the flame,
that keeps me warm,
Keep it from going out.
I go and walk,
my hands are numb,
my face and ears are blacken
and frostbitten,
and I go into the library.
The building filled with books
that were written by bums like me
who tell their stories,
of how they survived the bitter cold.
I sit a corner desk,
way in the back,
all alone,
next to the heaters,
and I write on
and stay warm,
till closing time...

-10-26-2013-


Details | Free verse | |

UNTITLED

written 30th Nov 2001


Lost and alone
 for she doesn't know where to go
This mother is now stuck
 she weighs up her options
And see's she is fighting against gossips 
 she stops, and takes a look at this world
What have they done, to this lovable little girl
 as she open's her eye's
Only to be faced, with all there lie's
 feeling alone and tired
She walk's on, to only find
 she is saying good-bye..
Taking one last look around
 before she lay's down on the ground
As her eye's completely, silently close
 she whispers, her final prayer to die
Still she walk's on, lost and alone
 but the difference now is quite clear 
For you can see her soul.....just disappeared...


Details | Free verse | |

Fin

She turns up the music to hide the sobs
Blade meets wrist for a final encounter
Red tears come streaming, staining the ground as they fall
Silence encompasses the room despite all of the noise


Details | Free verse | |

BABY doll

Porcelain face
Fake smile
Dull laugh

Is she your perfect baby doll
Does she have perfection enough
For you to hold?
Is she the good girl
Not always as bold?

Does she care?
Does she listen to your every word spoken?
Does she feel when trouble stirs
Is she your perfect baby doll?

Is her face perfect enough for YOUR smile?
Are her eyes bright enough to light you up?

Is she powdered plastered pasted together enough to not let her cracks show?
Is she your perfect baby doll?

Is she proud enough to watch you grow
Change
Mould?

Is she strong enough to hold your once broken heart not to let it fall?
Is she your perfect baby doll?

I was am and never will be
What you seem to crave
A seemingly perfectly powdered plastered pasted
Baby doll


Details | Free verse | |

In this lonely crowded world

 

In this lonely crowded world I am all alone

I see but am not seen as my indiscretions are shown

In this lonely crowded world there is only darkness to embrace

And the life that comes along with it, which is one for the disgraced

In this lonely crowded world there is nothing but hate and distrust

I suffer knowing now that my fate was just

In this crowded lonely world I live in silence and desolation

So let this be your warning, don't give into temptation


Details | Free verse | |

Making Love

Drinking water all night,
jerking off on the Sabbath,
and feeling the night making me feel alive,
Sabrine she left me a year ago-
a lie or two broke me apart;
giving too much of love,
giving her my heart and knowing that she'd lose it,
and I sit in the dark room
with one window open,
listening to the people next door making love,
and the bed frame slamming against the wall,
thinking "Holy Moly brother, give her a break, she'll break on you!"
but then remembering my next door neighbors were lesbians.

Then I remember Sabrine again,
letting lose with other men,
while she still is trying to get into college,
she was a good girl and a nice friend,
one you wish you could ask for,
wanting to make love with her,
but she is with another guy-
living in California,
but sometimes I think she turned lesbian
and is swinging with other women on Skid Row,
feeling up each other's shirts and skirts- it makes me hard-
see I still think of her, but now in a different light.

.2.23.2014.


Details | Free verse | |

12:32 AM

I lie here.
Alone at 12:32 A.M, 
thinking about you.

I lie here.
Sad at 1:43 A.M., 
missing everything about you.

I lie here.
Crying at 3:22 A.M., 
because I will not be able to see you.

I stand up.
Walking at 4:44 A.M., 
pacing up and down, scared for you.

I sit down.
Realizing at 5:59 A.M., 
I have one minute to say goodbye to you.

I look, intensely.
Blanked-face at 6:01 A.M., 
as the beep fades into nothing, comprehending the fact that you’re gone, 
forever.


Details | Free verse | |

Embarcadero of Loneliness

Soul,
I see you creeping
Under the crushed wavelengths
I can hear you weeping
Below the wilted water terrace
And you’re holding my heart.
And it’s burning your hands.

Gray,
Your cryptic veil touches my cheeks
They flush absent of color
Under the ripples of your aching
And you’re listening to my mind.
And it’s singeing your ears.


Details | Free verse | |

Starless

Trapped in a prison with walls so green
Their very nature cannot be felt
Each day I yearn to escape
Grasping for the motivation
But every time I'm built up
The will deflates and slows to a crawl
Being brought to an unhealthy sort of low

Trapped in nights
Starless and black
The only illumination
Is of artificial nature
Daily cycle and nightly trend
Wears the treads on the toughest leather soul

Peppered in my mind are seeds of pain
Angst and nihilistic blossoms of hate
Rituals of automatic smiles and laughs
Forgetting how to feel and taste
Love is a carcass, long decayed
I am not longed for, just wished away

Pressure cooked contempt
Salt stained tears
Black night stretching
Walls are falling
Oh god ****
What did I do?
Was I ever right?
Am I ever?
So cold now
Tremors and quakes
Throat bleeding
Screams collapsing
End it
End it
End it
End it all
Please 

Author Notes
I know this breaks traditional formula.
 I wrote this a few nights ago when I was drunk and in a very dark place. 
Instead of rewriting the ending to fit the flow of the poem, I figured it felt 
better just to have that weird ****ing thing at the end happen. So there you go.


Details | Free verse | |

Blessed Breeze

Something feels wrong –
the atmosphere
 Feels dry 
upon my skin
I remember 
the summertime 
and 
its blessed breeze 
– it kept
On flowing…
blowing…
bestowing…
jovial love 
for the renewal 
of your heart… 
Once bleeding…
Beating…
 from deep within
Accept me 
For who I am…
Accept me…
Do you ever ponder
About the good times
We’ve shared?
Have you
Erased it
From your mind 
Forever? 
I wish 
You could rise 
like the sun 
when the dawn 
comes rolling in 
The fog 
Surrounds us… 
With gloominess
There’s no need
To feel my stress
Remain
Stress-free
For eternity 
Dread 
Is caressing 
your soul
Don’t let it
DEVOUR YOU.
YOUR.
Life. 
Is. 
Meaningful. 
Believe me…
Please…
Keep it 
at ease…
Cast away the sorrow
Flick it off
into space
I’ll be there
To run the race
With you 
So wipe away 
The blue liquid…
blinding your eyes
DON’T.
Be. 
Afraid…
Don’t be burdened
By the shame
Sway with me
In the wind…
Where peace
Grows on and on and on…
Forever – 
Until the demise
Of the dawn 
Let the clouds
Drift away 
And sleep without
Disturbance… 
And don’t forget
To pray for 
The blessed breeze
Let me help you
Track down the worries
That try to 
BREAK.
YOU.
Don’t let it get to you
No matter what

Your body is warm
Your eyes glisten 
And reflect
Fascinating light. 
Shimmering
With 
All 
Of
Its
Might. 
Something feels right…
AT LAST! 


Details | Free verse | |

Crier

I step out and try to make everything in the day worth my while, 
But as soon as I step back in my room, I burst into tears and cry. 
Holding onto this heart just causes me more and more pain, 
Just take it away and let me die. 

Ending it all, ending all, so I don’t have to feel the pain. 
Doing no more, doing no more, so you don’t have to say so. 
Crying all the time so I can just let everything spill out, 
Feeling useless hurts, but who would know?

Being forgotten is just another symptom when I’m all alone, and when I cry, 
I just fall asleep right after to pass my life away.
And so I don’t have to listen to everyone’s insults when I do something wrong, 
I lock myself up and stay. 

Lock it away, lock it away, so I don’t have to hear you say anything to me. 
Closing my eyes, closing my eyes, so I don’t have to see anything that is hurtful.
Sitting alone, sitting alone, so I don’t hurt anyone else around me. 
When I’m alone, how is life ever joyful? 

Seeing as though I can’t do anything right, why do I even try? 
Everyone just brushes me off, then makes fun of me when I try. 
Even climbing up the stairs is hard when I can’t feel anything, 
When I fall back down and hurt myself, all I can do is cry. 

No one is there, no one is there, to help me back up again. 
Flooding the room, flooding the room, with all my tears of anger and sadness. 
Dying alone, dying alone, I can’t do anything but lay here and die alone. 
If only I could have had one moment of bliss. 


Details | Free verse | |

True Reality

Why is it
I am always wrong?
Something
I have always done?
Why is it
I am 
Never good enough
In your eyes
In challenging times?

How many times
Do I have to say
“I love You?”
What will it take
To convince
That mind 
And 
Heart 
Of yours?

What can I say
That will ease 
This jealousy
And 
Resentment
You feel towards me
When drinking 
Too much booze
Killing what brain cells
Are left
In that stubborn 
Head of yours!

How long 
Will it take
For you 
To believe in me?
For I know
I am a fool 
Staying here, with you!
Feeling desperate
Lost and lonely
Dreams squashed
Emotionally drained
When ‘we’ need to pull together
In union ship
To make 
This bond strong
Between us!

'Uniting as One’'

'Love Conquering All'

“Well!”
“So, I am told!”

I love you more
Than this
Arguing and fighting!
But 
You refuse to understand
The love I have for you

My head 
Tells me to stay with you
But
My heart knows
I cannot!
For
I have asked you 
To be kind to me
I have asked
You to open up 

Your anger and rage
Continues growing
Out of control
Taking over
Like
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde 
Burning bridges
Being ruthless
Always
Out for the kill!

I need to break away!
I need to clear my head!
I need to experience
Love and longevity
True togetherness
With 
The one’s I love!
My heart needs to experience
‘Healthy Love’
My heart deserves the best!
You now
Belong in my past
I am no longer the person
You once knew me, to be

Your insecurities
Your inner demons 
Far bigger
Than any of the love
You choose to acknowledge 
Or 
Feel from me!

You can believe this 
To be true
If nothing else!

“Love thy self”

Share
Without personal gain
Being 
Your Primary Motive!
Know Love 
Be Love, in Action!

Be honest
Have empathy now
As
I cut these cords
Of emotional bondage
That 
Bind us together 
True Love 
No longer 
Our foundation!

I stand on my own
Knowing
I have learnt the lessons
You have come to teach
I now know
What love isn't!
“I thank you”
For showing me this!

My illusions of love
Blinding me
Colouring my experiences
Revealing
Only what 
'I Wanted Us To Be'
Not
‘True Reality’


Details | Free verse | |

Everyone's Gone

Everyone's gone...
There's no one to look up to...not one...
Not one will be kind enough
To look down and attempt to help me...

Everyone's gone...
I'm beneath the debris
There's no one there to save me...
I'm left to my own misery 

Everyone's gone...
I guess I'll find my way out of this maze
Without any clues
I'm waiting for relief to dawn upon me

Everyone's gone
I'm dealing with so much trauma 
I'm watching for any signs of support...
Hear my echoes of pain...
It drives me insane...
Catch me before I fall off the cliff...

Everyone's gone
I'm all skin and bones
I'm trapped like a hunted animal
The predator took a bite into me...
Don't just watch me suffer...
Deserted in this lonesome state

Everyone's gone
I'm kicked around like a soccer ball 
Hear me as I call...
Help me to stand tall

Help me... 
Reach up to the sky
To feel the coolness seep through me
Help me...
To be inspired to write more uplifting songs
Help me think more positively - help me wave g'bye
Help me...
Forgive me for all of my wrongs...

Everyone's gone
I'm a screwed-up building
I need you to be my backbone 
Straighten me up...help me to be stiff like a soldier
About to enter another horrifying war
Support me today...
And stick with me tomorrow!

I want to let go of the past memories...
Scaring away my happy moments and delights 
I want to smear away the blasphemies…
Obliterating my blissful days and nights

Everyone's gone...
There's no one to depend on...not one...
Not one will be brave enough
To look down and attempt to help me...

Everyone's gone...
I'm beneath the city
There's no one to show me the jolly sun...
I'm left to my own misery 

Everyone's gone...
Fine… I'll find a way to get out of this nightmare 
Without any clues
I'm waiting for relief to give me strength instead of fear 


Details | Free verse | |

A Hobbit Dream

                             A Hobbit Dream
                             by: Earl Schumacker (influence & credits to J.R.R. Tolkien)

What’s its gots in its pocketsezzz is here
Words slithered from the creature’s mouth
Where it dwells alone within the mountain
What’s in its pocketsezzz my dear
Came again from the unseeing being from total silence
Never having contact with another thing before
Other than the darkness there 
It had conversations with itself
Explaining speech that seemed a little odd
Well within the sealed off world beneath the mountain 
Something sensed or heard or smelled of someone near
As it closed in with slimy skin upon the hobbit
Cold, wet, murky flesh fell on the lad
Who stumbled into this strange place and company at hand
The boy informed the creature it had nothing to fear
That he was simply passing through as a visitor down here
The entity insisted on the truth
What’s in its pocketsezzz it says
The hobbit says it’s nothing precious
At that he woke up from the sleep
With nothing in his pockets
The ring still stationed by the drain and sink
It must have been a hobbit dream


Details | Free verse | |

Oblivious Night

So many known faces,
So many recite-worthy roads and ways,
We don’t meet again, how many days
Gone;

With this goblet, I recall those names,
And I had have my drinks
With these oblivious nights,
Accompanied by my loneliness,
Alone.


Details | Free verse | |

Power of Love

Every day, I envision you,
I close my eyes and I can remember
how you feel in my arms,
your warm skin and soft lips
next to my own.
This is the thing
that keeps me going,
on these lonely days,
with us a world apart.
You keep me on track,
wading through this quagmire of humanity.
This long, lonely journey,
to the other side.
This powerful love I have for you
is what makes me able to do 
what I need to do
so I can some day
come home to you.


Details | Free verse | |

TEN CENTS A DANCE

She worked at a boozy ballroom, dancing for 10 cents a dance 
Barely enough to eat and pay her rent in a rundown seedy hotel 
So young, so alone raised by no one but herself 
Oh, she had parents, but they didn’t see her, didn’t know or love her 
She married the first guy who came along just to get away from home 
But he abused her - used her, then left her all alone 

Twenty two years old- 
Alone, with two small children to care for 
She needed someone… 
Someone who would hold her - touch her tenderly with his heart 
Someone to love her- love her children 
Her brown eyes wishing, hoping - looking for love in stranger’s faces 
Dancing for 10 cents a dance under shimmering ballroom lights 
Swaying to and fro through dreamed filled hopes 
With her closed eyes, she pretended as she danced 
Fantasizing that he might be the one to save her- love her 

When the music started she was in another world 
Wishing he’d sweep her off her feet, take her away 
So she could live like a lady and die like a flowering rose when her last petals fell
In the arms of one she imagines will be hers once and for all
To whisper velvet words of comfort as their feet grazed the floor 
Under the melodic grace of the violins she pretended… 
Hoping to find her hero, someone who’ll give her a chance 
Just...for 10 cents a dance


Details | Free verse | |

Love's Lies






Like a warm knife through the butter of the soul, 
The insect that scratches the ear drums as we watch love's lies lay eggs of waste
Till they're in the mouth of your mirror's reflection of fear
least someone should lie themselves into a care of this placebo of lust.
 Till eyes turn against nature to the arid desert of exhaust
the emotional orgy to the mental climax of the unreal.
Descriptions of the void so vivid stirs a chuckle refusing to be hydrated with tears
Cynical text mid composition stirs the stomachs dragons....sighs
O how love's lies have caught us.


Details | Free verse | |

The Moon King

Poor little Moon King
trapped inside a gilded cage
within the marble prison walls
the cage is painted
and the marble held up with balsa wood
a fake fairy-tale façade
castles in the clouds
ladies in classical poses
battles never won
nor even fought
locked in frozen frescos
as trapped as the poor little Moon King
forever
insulated from the cruel sisters
modernity & society
having anything you want
except what you really need
the sisters cannot let you bare
flesh and soul
crying to sleep
in the silken cradle
an empty shell
an unnatural fondness forbidden
yet tasted behind the closed door
a self-deluded love lost among luxuries

Oh Ludwig how you wished so hard
the sun would shine
on your chivalric dreams
but
alone lamenting at the balustrade
you are the Moon King
forever in plaster and paint
cloud-covered
out shined
hag-ridden highness
hiding behind a pile of stones and pretty
colours
poor little Moon King


Details | Free verse | |

Less Than A Day

The touch of your whispers has blown through the air
And the wave of summer disappears in the sand
There’s nothing to stop these memories are gone
Let the playbook now rest for the feelings they’ve stopped
Slowly it turns the small hands on your wrist
The knots in your belly have clenched like a fist
You picture the east and close her eyes
For the dawn’s a coming in all of our lives
The night’s now bleeding forever it tilts
Circling the orbit no rest from the filth
Rivers are flowing and spirits are dim
And the skies from the ocean will always stand still
The pain from the east has moved to the west
These days are numbered just like the rest
Blind in the rivers the hand clears it away
The whole world has changed in less than a day


Details | Free verse | |

Summer time

Stream runs dry and its summer time

Rivers trickle over my thoughts 

Birds flew away when the rain starts to tumble 

Fireflies dim their fading light 


Calm blue sky fill me some rain

Wash away all the pain I kept 

Keep me numb all night 

So I won’t feel any fright 


Fall me to sleep this time 

And give me those goodbye kisses

As your shadow gets blurred 

Make me dream sweet paradise


Keep me in those tight arms

Remain my illusion in my mind 

Create haven in our beautiful field 

And dance with me in moonlight 


Details | Free verse | |

Lonely

Lonely people need me.

   They grin at my presence and rejoice when they hear my name.

  I bring them company in the best of ways,
             I lend out my ears for days to let them relieve the pressure,  
                   weighing heavy upon their chest. 

  Lonely people love me because i give the best advice,
           I come when called, 
                ask no questions,
                      tell no lies.
 
   They need to hear what they're worth, 
           so i say unto them there is no price bountiful enough for their lives.
 
   Accompanied people are jealous of my ways,
           seeing as I have the power of speech and the presence of the lonely.
                   Yet I belong to neither side.

    I call and call but no one comes, 
           i ask and do not receive,
                 nobody lends my soul the ears of compassion or friendship.

     I am virtually surrounded by people, 
            yet when I fall, a hand I am not offered.
                 When i scream, a response is not heard.
                       And when i cry, no shoulder is presented.

   I need the lonely people to accompany me on a journey of speech and thought,
               for I need the feel of others.

   I despise the accompanied, 
        because they take the companionship they have for granted.


Details | Free verse | |

If you love someone,show it

love is divine
and everybody has to accept it
for love there is no fine
if you love somebody, show it

In love there is no use of revile
but somebody avoids it
love makes people virile
if you love somebody, show it


Details | Free verse | |

moonless breath

In need of socks on my feet
frantically I search the floor 
naked and depleted
feeble minded, missing home..

drowning on the surface
of black river, floating alone
she swallowed the stars
selfishly born, kingdom unworn

scattered pieces of intentions
fed with contempt
on a cold unused bed
kindled animation, moonless breath


Details | Free verse | |

This dxxn dam

My mental barriers crumble
as I sink deeper into this drunken delirium.
Thoughts of her rush in
like water through the cracks of a broken dam.
As the stone wall falls
and I am swept away by the flood,
I am sliced by debris and images of her smile.
I become submerged 
and the sounds of her laugh flow into my ears.
Beat to hell and soaked with sorrow, 
I finally wash ashore.


Details | Free verse | |

I missed You

I missed you Dear
For the past twenty eight hours
You are eighty kilometers away from me
You are sleeping eating there as a child but
I have lost everything here cause I missed you
I cannot forget your angel smile and
I cannot digest your absence for such a long hours
You have moved to shape your future but
 This old man missed his present with you
I may dream on your future but 
I am not so strong enough to meet this loneliness
Send me your smile to guide me in dark
Send me your childish speech
To forget all my worries and pains
Forty hell days  I will have to spend 
To meet your face in smile and bliss 
My daughter!  My love!
Come dear to heal my pains and wounds.


Details | Free verse | |

Seeded Pain

This is far more greater a pain that was ever needed ,
The damage done long ago when it was seeded.
    This hurt you planted deep within me ,
Has grown to a  size that just shouldnt be .
     Disrespect and neglect it means nothing to you,
For it is something you just will always do.
     Love doesn't hurt like this it never  could ,
The words mean nothing to you but they should .
    Compassion and understanding is what love takes ,
If you want to live a love without heartbreaks.
    Talking and listening go hand in hand ,
To love in this life as a woman and a man.
     Im so devistated by the events of these days ,
Not able to to get you to ever  change your ways.
     How can I convince you that it is all a mistake,
And the pain and hurt  I can no longer take .
     Makes me never  wanting to awaken again,
No matter  even if it's  Gods  greatest sins .
TAC 


Details | Free verse | |

Broken Souls

Concealed lost souls 
Secluded from society
Wandering in the mist of others invisible
A soul once happy now lives in strife
Walking in the shadows
Past torment taunts of past mistakes and regrets
Happiness unknown  relentless pain from life
Life with no designated purpose
Living just to survive
What an existence
Walking in pain and uncertainty
Heart weeping in sorrow
Never knowing what tomorrow brings
Broken souls awaitng their destiny


Details | Free verse | |

The sands stand tall

The tall rock stood on the beach
Lonely amidst the multitude of its lesser brothers
He looked down on them, each a weak shade of brown
Not Golden like the sun that bakes them, not crystal like the waves that rake them;

The lesser brothers of the sand looked up to the mighty rock
And they asked it, a voice as one,
Yelling to reach its grand ears
Yelling against the echoing beating of the waves at their shore
"Why so lonely dearest brother?"
And the rock would shudder against the song of the waves
The grand rock would yell down:
"How can I not be alone, when all my brothers have succumbed to the beating of the waves
And become lesser men?"
And his lesser brothers turned away from his scornful gaze,
His brothers of the sand turned as one and faced the coming waves
And they fell by the millions;

And the lonely rock looked at his fallen brothers,
How they still stood tall against the foe that felled greater men
And in the light of this moon
The tall rock stood small amongst grander men

© Samir Georges
2010


Details | Free verse | |

in my mind

sad and lonely,shut out from the world
no where to run from others,
they look at you in contempt to try say
get lost.
walking without a shadow,walking with
no smile.
I still continue to struggle,I lost my faith in myself
and in my mind.
I thought my freedom disappeared from me.
I continue to try my feelings.
My feelings are like a combination lock,
you have to figure out the number

I try not to hold back my tears and my anger
I want throw all of the people who put me down
and respect for who I am
but what I am,i'm a person to.I have feelings
so what if your higher ranking than me.
I show you respect when you show me respect

but there's something that you can't take away from
me.my love in god my family and my close friends
believe it


Details | Free verse | |

Message in a bottle

I once was what you are
Or what you think you may be…

Now I am nothing more 
But this lone piece of paper
of my words & thoughts.

You are no longer alone
We are both finally here…


Details | Free verse | |

YES, IT WAS SO LOVELY BACK THEN

Once upon a time it was love… 
Before the the love and passion 
Settled in cooled ashes of limpid cold embraces 
Before... 
When you remembered special dates and made special dates 
 
I remember once upon a time… 
Dressing up for special occasions - 
Choosing a special dress to wear- and shoes to make me feel tall and sexy 
When we talked at our table in a restaurant 
Instead of staring at others… 
Envious of their words and looks that spoke of passion... 
Passion that we once shared 
 
It was lovely then, looking forward to nightfall 
In un-conjured confidence that love would fill our longings 
We once shared those warm, special moments at breakfast... 
Smiling, like we had a secret we’d just shared… 
Pretending shyness - 
Knowing we had just shared passionate, special moments 

Then it found itself disquited... 
By long moments of unfamiliar silence that touched both of us 
With a  single, extinguished tiny flame... 
Yes it was so lovely back then


Details | Free verse | |

Feeling alone

I feel alone
mostly when I'm
surrounded by people
A crowd
I miss you most
when I sit among them
I can't stop imagining 
You sitting beside me
holding my hand
as I always wanted
as I always dreamed
My family gathered
Cousins, relations
Brothers, my sister
niece & nephews
I miss you most
when I laugh
as I should
for what they say
sitting with them....
Imagining you beside me
holding my hand
together with my family
I feel how it would've been
I see how we would've laughed
together...
holding hands...
It hurts, more than you know
I hold it tight
the mask I wear
Smiling, laughing
happy face
I hold it tight
So I don't
let them see
what lies behind...
my face of tears...
I feel alone,
I do...


Details | Free verse | |

Silver Spoons

Silver spoons sit at evening diner tables
Forks and knives acompany these lonesome
Silver Spoons.
No one orders soup, but instead a large steak,
with mashed potatoes and gravy, with steamed vegetables.
The fork and knife are put to good use,
As the silver spoon sits there and watches,
As grimy hands, man handle the knife and fork
violently cutting away at the red meat.

Silver Spoons smile, thanking they aren't used
for steaks and mashed potatoes.
But silver spoons meed to be used too.
Waiting for one day, during lunch rush
for someone to come in and sit and ask,
"What is the special for soups today?"
Silver spoons brighten their eyes and smile,
but that time never comes.
Just another guy ordering steaks, or a hamburger and fries.

Poor silver spoons, not even used to stir their customer's coffee,
they use knives, instead of silver spoons.
Poor silver spoons, waiting for a beautiful woman to come in and order the soup.


Details | Free verse | |

Right Now

Right now, I am nothing but what I am The air I breathe, The blood I bleed Hopeful yet Worthless Selfless but alone The days go swift Nights seem to never end Waking into this nightmare Time and time again Love lost, now contemplating regrets Right now I am lost at see Endless stars above me Nothing here will set me Free My soul waits to burn In eternity for my sins Thinking about my life How'd I ever think I'd Win?


Details | Free verse | |

Manic

Breath stolen breeds sharpness
Borne backward into infantile shrieks
The spinstress of sinew waits bated
For abhorrent heat
Of combustive, collapsive
Crossfire from echoing throat
Or burnt-bridge lungs
A visceral nymph thoughtlessly thieves
On Benedict tongue
Thrashing in maddened pace
Too shrill a manifesto
Skeletal soldiers charge
A red hill
Unsteady, uneven, not ready
Frenzy, not frolic
I am not a goddess
There is something to fear
I am something, I fear


Details | Free verse | |

Forever Sleep

Darkness enfolds me as I go to sleep,
My escape from the obnoxious you!
As I drift off to sleep forever;
I think of what has been;
What could have been?
Could I have done it any different?
I’ve tried and tried till my heart just died.
It was laid to rest with the rest of my life!
Gone from you, gone out of your life!
There will no tear be shed over the gone me;
I suppose your heart will be filled with glee!
I really truly loved you!
But got nothing in return;
A cold shoulder, a stare and a glare…
You left my soul feeling just bare!
You tore my heart in a million pieces;
Leaving me lonely, desolate and lost!
But me, I am now going to sleep;
I am leaving you behind! 
I have found peace in my heart;
Said my goodbyes and I’m drifting off to sleep.
Sleep enfold me, please just set me free


Details | Free verse | |

Darkness

Could someone take me out of the darkness?
Hopelessness enraptures my mind again...
I'm sitting on this bench...thinking regret
I'm just.......
Drifting away 
There's so much to learn out there
Somewhere in the abyss,
There must be a rope of hope...
Hanging and circling rapidly
The dreads of life kill me at times 
The stresses of life suffocate me...I hear the bell's chimes
I just pass by like a stranger...
Trapped in a bottomless chamber of loneliness
Hopefully, I'm making some progress
Could someone carry me into the light?
I'm in a darksome pit...I scream
I scream for help
I yelp
About a million times...
I haven't committed that many crimes
Hope shimmers in God's mind
Do you mind if I ponder a bit?
I must.......
Walk that narrow path 
There's so many things to stumble upon
Out there...somewhere beyond sight 
But, I write day and night...
The things I write sometimes even gives me a fright
I could get through the dreads of life 
You're as helpful as a trustworthy friend, God

Why must my mind submit to the shadows of every day life?
I should be...walking that road of recovery 
Do you mind if I walk that road....alone?


Details | Free verse | |

Him, Her and the World

i want to be angry

at him, at her, at the world

i want to be happy

for him, for her, for the world

i want to scream

at him, at her, at the world

and yet nobody likes me

not him, because of her, she's his world


Details | Free verse | |

Clawing, Scratching, Screaming

Clawing, scratching, screaming
A heart's endless scheming
Can you hear me? No!
Can you feel me? No more!
Do you see the pain drip from my eyes to the floor?
Remember my taste?
Oh what a waste.
I can't un-remember anymore.
Look to my hands, see their desire;
Choking out words to quell their fire.
Nails dig in and drag
Breaking a cracker's crack!
You never looked in only looked back.
Jump, dance, run, fall
I will some lifetime from now
Smash this wall.
Never again but that's not true.
I'll live this, the longest death
Every time I think of you.


Details | Free verse | |

Avalanche Of Love

  God is calling my name as he knows soon 
I'll be on my own, Searching for who I am
and where I belong.

I'm not as scared as I once was as I know
I have the support of my family and friends.

I belive my avalanche of love will help me 
get by since I cant fly by myself.

Let it be known my house will not be full
of tears as of today, only a month away.

I'll become a stray waiting for someone
to take me under there wing and
love me once again.


Details | Free verse | |

I CHOSE YOU

With the words of my mouth
And the love in my heart
I chose you
From millions of the world
I saw you
I asked my heart to calm
And my soul to stare
In amazing silence
I chose you 
Before the cock crew
Before the early bird 
And now you deny me
The art of thy heart
Yes I will go away
But first
Let me sing 
"I chose you"
"I  still love"
"I will always"


Details | Free verse | |

Winter

The winter’s blasts have come again,
Covering all in a gleaming veil.
Needles of pines poke on through,
Showing green through the clumps of white.
The holly bush is covered, too,
Its berries like drops of blood on pristine snow.
The moon and stars peek through the clouds,
Shedding pale light for all to see.
The air is cold, yet the breeze is pure,
Harkening back to a time unknown.
Glints of light are now to be seen,
Dancing, flickering, never there.
How they lead through the winter’s land,
Like will-o’-the-wisps they flicker and gleam.
The moon shines through, and gives its light,
Glints of light now show all around.
The land of faerie has opened up,
Lighting lanterns in the snow.


Details | Free verse | |

Quiet Vicissitudes

Quiet vicissitudes on a lonely shore. 

Memories fading with age as the family home crumbles.

It sits alone, abandoned, on it's now private island as the ocean continually encroaches with time.

Nothing left but photographs to prove to the world it was here as a storm crashes overhead.

With one final gulp a once happy home relinquishes itself to the watery abyss.


Details | Free verse | |

Skin

When I lay in bed
Almost asleep
I feel you on my skin
Like a whisper
I jump and swat at you
Because you could be a spider
But it’s not a spider
It’s the remnants of your touch
I can’t see you
But when I lay in bed
I feel you tickling my skin


Details | Free verse | |

Emotional Angiush

Emotional wounds
These cuts run deep
Can't cover the wound
Won't ignore it's pain
Tears have fallen
Hard lessons learned
Feeling non-existent
Travel alone for so long
Latched onto fears
Strong foundations built of rage
Caged I feel
Locked away behind bars of shame
Can't tame the demons that lurk about
Shocked you might be once you see what i have lived though
Tauted and made fun of
Tossed around like a flat ball
No bounce in my step 
No air in my lungs
A heartbeat frail
I've sank to the bottom
Staring straight up wanting someone to hear my cries
Ignored I've been
Cast aside a ruin of a man I've stood
My fears weigh heavy
My dreams fade with each sunrise
Courage it takes for my eyes to see each day
Unhappy I seem content I maybe
But someone guides me still 
Has not given up on me
I believe that's where these words originate in the eyes of a man that can see past me
A God a wonderful reckoning a cure for all my doubt
A dream he sees in me I just need to see with his eyes and believe I am meant for much more then this reality I live each day.


Details | Free verse | |

Go Away, never to come back-

Go away, never to come back to me,
you have gone and left me
without a trace in step;
I cry- yet you do not return.

Go away, never to come back to me,
yet you return in my dreamland,
always smiling like you always did
and holding your beautiful heart in hand.

Go away, never to come back to me,
she was every and she was any
till jealous hearts tore in two
and suck the life right out of her.

Vampires, with red eyes,
and green and black hearts-
with eavesdropping ears
and devilish duties- they took her from me.

Gone away, my dear, never to come back to me,
now I walk along a lonesome cracked highway,
where those lonesome hearts sleeping in cardboard boxes
wait patiently for Blue-eyed Death to arrive
with a friendly smile and helping hand.

Go away, never to come back to me,
to lay with me in the dark nights,
and to rise with the morning light,
to have and to hold- no more;
she has gone away, never to come back-

.3.23.2014.


Details | Free verse | |

You will never truly know how I feel

Ever have those days
where everything in the world
just seems to go wrong
 
where no one is talking
no one will listen 
and no one really cares
 
you are yelling 
and screaming 
and no one seems 
to even look your way
 
that happens all to often
you have your "bestfriends"
but they never seem to listen
when you truly need it most
 
why do they only come to you
when they need something
when they need it
never there for you
 
sometimes it seems like 
you are just all alone in this world
and everything is wrong


Details | Free verse | |

The Dark Season

The dark season of cold, pallid vastness
Has not broken the tenacity
Of the first snow fall
Heralding the purity of the colorless
And the aroma of burning pine

This opaque mood I am in
Rejoices for the dark season
Yellow and brown ochre highlights
Burnt umber trees of plasticine 
Molded by the hands of nature

In my mind, I am alone in this one-way reality
And yet, I delight for the dark season
If I could share this sensation, I would not
For it’s the prelude to a poem
About a cold and distant soul


Details | Free verse | |

Of Loving You

In winter I miss spring time rains,
In sunmmer I miss the coldness of snow,
When the sun beams down I miss the 
Clandestine moon, cool and aloof,
And
When you're not here with me,
I miss your warm embrace.
I miss the moments we share, so precious,
So treasured,
Yet
The depth of my missing you cannot be measured
In tears
Or fears
When lonliness overwhelms me.

I love you!
Missing you is but an extension of this love.
I'll be loving you, missing you, be lonely for you,
Until I am no more, and somehow, I know,
Even after.
I tell you I miss you, get lonely for you,
Not to make your spirits sag or to erase
The smile from your face.
I am only sharing a feeling of caring, of wanting and
Needing - 
As constant as the midnite hour,
As natural as winter's snow and
Summer's warmth,
Spring time flowers,
As that clandestine moon...
The stars
The trees
The grass...
I love you!
Miss you when we are not together!
I get lonely for you!

In winter I miss spring time rains,
In summer, I miss the coldness of snow!

Cynthia



Details | Free verse | |

Stand Still

You always said you would be my crying shoulder, but you can't be this tme. It's you that has caused these tears. It isn't your fault. I can't be what you need, but I tried so very hard. I know I can't change your mind now. I have been here though three before, so why should one more be much different. I know you love poetry, and I love you so this is dedicated to you. Maybe one day you will realize that the truth has been in front of you the whole time. You will finally mend the heart of the one who mended your's so many times before. Just to ease your mind, don't worry about me I will be "fine." There isn't anything that can change how things are or how I feel so I guess now we are at a stand still.


Details | Free verse | |

Rained Filled Clouds

Rain filled clouds are what follow me now ,
No sunshine for me these days and smiles are not aloud.
My sight is blurry now and can't listen to what you say,
It was you who has caused this and why I am feeling this way.
Hold on tightly now It has been the ride of my life ,
But somehow it slipped away like a thief in the night .
How did I not see it so plainly writen on the wall,
Never in a million years did I expect to lose it all.
But here I am standing with my back  turned away,
For I can not face the sadness you brought me this day.
Why has this happened to me and just what will I do,
Shell of a man in a life that was suppose to be spent with you.
It's over now and it's all becuase of you 
I just cant see  theres anything you can do .
 Blinded by the love  for you never a  reason to doubt,
So quickly I learned howI will be going without.
 The warmth of a love you brought to me ,
 Now I will live without what was meant to be .
You were always a a part of the world I've grown to know,
Now that your gone the sadnees in my face will forever show.
These cloudy days bring me nothing but pain,
My life forever will be only me standing in the rain.
TAC


Details | Free verse | |

Silence

"It's like screaming underwater...
your lungs are about to burst,
but still, no one can hear you."

-Laura Bussey


Details | Free verse | |

Garden feel

What does a garden feel

A flower feel

A bud feel 

A seed feel

When the beholder 

Goes missing 

who can it complain?

Except the Lord. 

Yet the feeling of 

Loneliness remains

Till the first step sounds

Till the first eyes meet

Till the first breath taken

Till the first smile spread

Till the first joy breaks out

Till the garden echoes with sounds


Details | Free verse | |

My Pain

To love, or to be loved, what is love?
To have loved and to have been loved, which is greater? 
To accept one’s fate concerning love, this is a sentence of life.
Where is peace found, when love abounds everywhere,
but the waves never touch the shore?
Can the sounds of the forest be heard in the heart of busyness?
If the busyness full of love is dispersed from the creator,
are we only fulfilling our own needs?
What of those whose love is a well of never ending supply?
Should not those that taste of that love not also return love to that well?
How deep does the well go?
When that well, is supplied by the creator of the dispensary,
that love will never run dry. 

I am the dispensary and the forest, and I am the shore… 

I walk in scarred peace…


Details | Free verse | |

Pulse of my Heart

Darkened were the nights
Oh were they cold
You had left me
Such a very long time ago
I cannot forget
The way you caressed my flesh
So tender, so loving
Alas! It is missed
The way we would sway
Barely licked by the flames of the bonfire
I could have stayed like that forever
Oh dear traveler where have you gone?
I know you warned you would leave
But yet my heart swelled with hope
What a retched thing now
For now I am broke
Your honey voice broke down my soul
You never gathered up the pieces
Now they lay cold
On the floor where you left them
Oh so many nights ago
I still look on the horizon
Praying for a glimpse of your face
On certain nights
I can feel your warmth
As if you were there
I fall to my knees
Whisper my pleads
Maybe you can hear
No matter the time that passes
I cannot forget the man
He revived my soul
Pulse of my heart
Stole my trust
Alas! For the traveler took so much more……..
I will wait for him forever on the moor.


Details | Free verse | |

One Day

or many years my life has been sad,
  The woman meant for me I did not have .
Patiently I've been waiting for that wonderful day,
  When the woman of my dreams finally comes my way.
The blue that I have felt will now be in the sky,
   The light in my life I've missed now shines in my eyes.
How my days will be filled with happiness and joy,
   Like the excitement of a candy shop to a small boy.
All my dreams and hopes will become a reality ,
   When the love of my life finally comes to me.
The future we will share will shine so bright ,
   Because the bond we have between us will always feel right .

TC


Details | Free verse | |

Bitter Suicide

Feeling so lonely and left in despair; Suffocating in this thin dry air That's been stolen from me. My hope and my love and all of my care Has desiccated, disseminated, and completely disappeared. It's been stolen from me. My heart and soul ache terribly and are forlorn. I may not live to see another morning. My life's been stolen from me. Since I have no life to live anymore, I might as well say goodbye, but My words have been stolen from me. So confused; I don't know what to do. One thought remains: to end the pain. My serenity has been stolen from me. I run with this one thought in mind. I end it all in bitter suicide. My perseverance has been stolen from me. I leave a note with just a few lonely words. In tear-blotted ink a single line did read: Everything's been stolen from me.


Details | Free verse | |

I See You In The Darkness

When I close my eyes and look into the darkness
I see the reverse image of swirling time
Glimpses of you, but you are not there
Like Schrödinger's cat, you are alive and dead
But all it takes is a potion
And my eyes will remain closed for eternity
The ease of which, has its own damnation
For this life still coddles and excites
And allows me to weep and moan
When I close my eyes and see you in the darkness


Details | Free verse | |

the hardest love

i tell her that she's beautiful
she knows i'd do anything for her
she wants the guy who treats her like shit
and who ignores her

i'm left to pick up the piecies
on nights she's broken hearted and sleepless
i comfort her and make her feel better.even though it kills me inside
but i'm a man so i can't show my weakness

they can't cure a broken heart
but they can mend bones
she's so close to me,yet so far
i guess i'm friend zoned

everytime one of her loves die
she complaines there's no good guys
she ignores the guy who's next to her
who cares and only wants the best for her

we came close to kssing a couple of times
but she pulled away
i know she wants me in  her heart and mind
but she's just too scared to say

i ask her what she's scared for?
she replies when i was weak you were strong
i'm scared you won't be here anymore
if things go wrong

i reply with a tear in my eye
things have never been so clear in my life
even though i love her
i can't be here by her side

so it's time for me to go
i pack my bags and leave
even though we were real close
you will never know what you could of had with me


Details | Free verse | |

Read Between The Lines

my heart
went slowly
tumbling
down
low
anger and rage filled my heart
I didn't exactly understand
but I didn't question why
I just cried
cried and cried until I had no cry left
I didn't bother to wipe my tears
they where too much to bear
nobody said it'd be easy


Details | Free verse | |

Recycled

Recycled
Trying fire burning on the wire Quenching indistinqueshed desire Where tomorrow finds me, today will lead My life held in balance on a razor edge The lies are stripped away, truths layed bare The days and weeks ahead will sow the seed Searching for that ideal to take me off the ledge A reason, a sign or a person to stop my launch into thin air
rlm '13


Details | Free verse | |

Fading Memory

Up is down. Right is left. Dreary colors. Dull tastes.
What should be isn’t. What is—not enough.
Each day a fading memory seeming farther off,
Draws toward the present, a time not how it should be.
This feeling of life missing a part,
Bigger than a single thing,
Someone to help. Someone to guide. Someone to understand.
But life moves on,
Confusing, dull life though it is.
A flash of color happening. A right that leads me so.
But just a breath and nothing more,
So wandering down the path I go.
Another flash gives taste to food,
This gives me a day worth remembering.
But again, it’s gone, and back I go to missing part of me.
The flashes come but never stay, and I return unto my gloom.
Calling back to the times I had with taste and color and cheer.
A time where all of me was there.
My time I spent with you.
On I press, the time with you but a thought,
It calls me back. It pushes me on.
For you were not best for me.
But for now, I stumble
I wander
I make my way in the dark.
Always searching for you.
To find you
To reclaim
The part of me you stole.


Details | Free verse | |

It's Always Like This

	
	
	
	It’s Always Like This
	
	Empty stool
	in that 
	sleazy bar 
	I go to 
	too often. 
	I leave  
	smelling like
	stale beer
	dead cigarettes
	whiff of vomit
	with anyone
	I don’t know
	from 
	anywhere
	or his name. 
	You were 
	I was
	no different.
	Why even
	imagine what 
	might be possible?
	Four floors 
	eight flights
	top of the 
	stairs
	dirty green walls
	two-burner 
	in the closet
	mattress on the 
	floor 
	a window 
	above the bed.
	Yes, there’s stars 
	but that’s 
	too romantic for
	crazy drunk sex.
	You’re gone
	when we’re done.
	Same old ending.
	
	


Details | Free verse | |

I Cry

I sit and I soon burst into tears,
with a waterfall coming down my red cheeks,
my nose starts to run in a heat of sadness
and I can't help my emotions
for they get the best of me.

The past smiles
and the familiar faces that I once loved,
now no more,
they fell in love with others
and the faces now are ugly and shameful
full with ignorance.
I miss those past smiles,
those faces that made me smile;
those smiles that made my heart warm
and gave me faith to go another day
and depression had gone away.

But now it is all gone,
and my old friend lonely and depression
have returned to make me feel "something"
it's hard to feel something good,
when your world is full of frowns and broken hearts.
The only thing to do is cry...

.1.25.2014.


Details | Free verse | |

nee

??????????????????..
?????? ????????? ??????  ??????? ???????
????????????? ??????? ???????
??????? ??????????? ??? ?????????????
??????? ????????? ????????? ???????????????
????????????????? ????? ????? ?????????????? ????

????????????????????? ????????????????????????? 
????????????????
???????????????? ????? ????? ?????????????????
????????????????? ????? ?????? ?????????????????

??????????????? ????????????
???????????? ?????????? ????? 
??????????????......


Details | Free verse | |

LONGING

LONGING

The earth has become
a desert of fraught
ambience
That once was a
bloom and hive of
flora and Homo;
All become extinct,
except what I am yet
to see.

My heart surfs like
a lonely cloud in
the sky,
My mind scales the
sea as do a stray
yacht,
My soul’s lost in
the labyrinth of
midnight dreams.

Upon the shattering
roar and din and
chatter,
I hear none, but the
subtle rhythm of my
heart;
A quiet step, a
tender touch… just
imagining.

I’m searching all
boundaries within
four walls bound
And did not observe
time takes form and
shape,
As my only
acquaintance of
tomorrow lies in
hope.

My spirit transcends
my body, in that far
horizon
Where the sky
embraces the land,
there lies my balm.
Bid me come as long
as air subsist, my
dearest heart!

				Itsoghole O.
Solomon


Details | Free verse | |

Landing in a sea of love

To feel is something foreign,
like an untraveled land 
my emotion carries me through waves of despair 
the torturous feeling of being swayed away by love.

kisses, like oceans deep, full, and lasting
I wait, landing in your depths unknown. 
I anticipate your landing in my depths unknown, unexplored...
I stand-

Waiting, longing, drifting...

Loving your sea of forever.


Details | Free verse | |

My Solitude

In my solitude
I'm not alone
Your thoughts
Cloud the sunshine
Of my heart.
In silence 
I'm not at ease
Your words resound
And haunt me.
By name they call me
To your world far away
Unknown, unexplored.
Where are you?
Why do you?
Do this to me,
Leave me in my peace
Though I have my life to live
Its no more mine
For even in my solitude 
I'm not alone.


Details | Free verse | |

FRAGILE

She was fragile as glass
But lived in a house of stone.
Many have claimed to have loved her
but she spent most of her life alone.

She was beautiful yes indeed
But through her eyes you can
See her soul bleed.

She never got the chance
To see her own children grow
Many would say it's because "she
Has reaped what she has sown."
Solely because we dare speak
Of things we do not know.

If you meet her try to greet her
Instead of trying to rake her bones. 
Shes' fragile and broken in places 
She'll never show.


Details | Free verse | |

A Dream

I lay peacefully
Dreaming
But dreams
Turn to nightmares
I toss
I turn
Losing my grip on reality
I am alone
Where is the world?
My eyes open 
I am relieved of the nightmare
Only to find 
That the loneliness continued
I am alone
    All
      Alone


Details | Free verse | |

Hot Water Music

There once lived a man

who smiled a grand smile
and danced a tune so sweet,
he loved the most beautiful of women
and wrote the most real of poetry.

He left the world listening to the hot water music
of the world
and time went on and he left a long time ago
so long, but they remembered him
as a good man.

The hot water music sings softly in the ears
of my own,
and those girls drink their sorrows in the bar
and danced on the marble dance floors
and the DJs and barkeeps leave their posts
and have a cigarette or a free beer
or fresh air outside
and they all hear and know of the hot water music
that at one time that man listened to.

And they all break glasses and paper plates
and dance on home,
and sleep at night
wake up at dawn
find themselves on another woman's lawn.
Tears fall from their eyes
and they say their goodbyes.


Details | Free verse | |

Jealousy

Germs, marked with a big red J crawl inside your heart one by one 
They take over your brain, causing you to do and say things you didn't mean 
The more space they consume, the more you worry that you're going to be left again 
Abandonment will take over you once more. 

The funny thing about these germs though is that they're created by your own body 
Then your body rejects them like they're some sort of foreign object
But you can't get rid of them that easy
Medication will not make you feel better this time

The only cure to these germs is love 
Love that cannot be seen or heard, but felt 
And the second that love is questioned or challenged your body makes more germs 
Possessiveness is not the answer though 

The germs watch as the ones you love live their lives and talk to people who aren't you 
Then they laugh their menacing laugh and they create more germs in your brain
But these germs are different. 
'A' is the letter that marks these germs in dark blue 

These new germs flood your brain with irrational thoughts and feelings
The J germs and the A germs multiply until you can't figure out which is which 
Yet you try so hard to give everyone their own life 
Ignoring the germs will never help but obsessing will not help either

Then the germs scream at you. 
They scream at you to push everyone away that you're close to 
You're just so scared you're going to lose them
Giving up is just as bad as possessiveness 

Now that you're confused with yourself some new germs are born
A crossbreed of the J germs and the A germs 
These new germs are called the C germs 
Confusion with yourself causes more pain. 

Now you push everyone away and a new germ is born; the G germ 
Everything is falling farther and farther apart like never before
The germs keep multiplying and encouraging each other
Guilt has arisen. 

The cycle of germs is a vicious one
They won't stop multiplying until you feel as if you can't control anything anymore
The fact that you can't control it pushes them all away more and more
Friendship has been lost
 
It started with the germs marked with the red J
It ended with regret and hurt for everyone 
All the germs keep multiplying; crossbreeding, inbreeding, breeding with their own kind
Control is lost
 
All you were fighting for in the first place was to not lose the ones you love
Now you're not even sure if they love you anymore 
You've screwed it up too much 
And the cycle begins again...


Details | Free verse | |

As With A Tear

Brutally deranged, I've gone a tad insane,
but it isn't my fault no, you're the one to blame,
I laugh at insecurities, and the struggles I can't face,
because if I see them for what they are, I couldn't bear,
Not a drop of innocense in this stuffed up air,
Wouldn't it be nice to live without a care?
But **** the past, there's a reason I'm not there,
I wish I could take it back,
I wish I could have known,
They weren't all the same,
and none the less you have made me grow.
Can you kill me, before I do it myself,
I'm over thinking, and could even damage hell.
But now I'm hungry and I bid you a farewell,
because you were my past intentions, and nothing is for real,
You lied and cast me out, leaving me with sorrow,
Now knowing the only thing that is hurting me will be gone tomorrow,
I don't need the money, or a thing around my neck,
Now you are gone there will be nothing left,
I have found a savior, someone who is the same as I.
Someone who has been trapped, by this world of lies,
I will take his burden, and strap it in with mine,
I will not have anymore, regrets behind who I kiss,
because there is only one who I will be with bliss,
He is the one, who I will stay with.
Unlike you, fair weathered friends, I'll bid you a farewell and tie off loose ends.


Details | Free verse | |

Socrates

Oh dear heart alive!
Will you free me from this circular prison?
The everlasting soul
Whimpers
In her corner with no hand to hold
All the motions resume
And the virtue of men remain unresolved
Wandering through the poet's art.
Green is still green under the sky's unfaltering blue.
If only her hands were smooth
Then life wouldn't be so cruel.


Details | Free verse | |

Autumn

Leaves of gold, red and yellow
Dance to the ground to a tune oh so mellow
Silent footsteps of a lonely lover’s grief
Trudges through the foliage that lady autumn herself conceive
A desolate sparrow that’s gone astray
Returns to its nest now bare and gray
Soon the land will turn ashen and cold
As it was before in days of old
But through all this you could hear
The laughter of children, full of cheer
It is not long till Demeter’s lovely flower to her restore
The flower that brought the wild winter wind, to awake and roar
Soon the lonely lover will find a better day
 Soon the lost sparrow will be on his way
Soon love shall fill the air and the earth will bloom
Restoring to its grace what winter has once doomed


Details | Free verse | |

The Fallow Plough

There are those of us, as one,
who feel greatly the indescribable
feeling
as if to probe the caverns of our non-existence--
the us which cannot be and is not
except in the small hours, the infinity of moments,
stretching beyond our belittled sense with shut, weary eyes
and the inconstant shaping of faces behind the world.
The momentous certainty of one's own death,
we know,
tolls me back, not from sleep, or fugue, or transcendence,
but by sloping box springs. Where no transient rivers lay their beds,
no eglantine or honeysuckle dapple the wild thicket groves,
no fluorescent bulbs lead to the exhaustible sun,
no tender sprigs will spring in Spring or fall in Fall, but
here, where places do not exist as we do not,
we know.
I feel no thing, and here is where I love--
a most disembodied love that cannot die
for death like we is not--
and leaden-eyed among the alien corn each sordid day, I yearn
most deeply to feel you there
as I do not feel you, my love.


Details | Free verse | |

Goodbye Marie

Why wander the wind paraded streets
with waxen cheeks and muddied shoes?
Is it for a darker view or...
Are avenues the only thing emptier than arms?

The dusk doesn’t shout, only murmurs
snide *****under its breath over your shoulder
before skulking along on its way, like the people
who stare askance at disheveled button down and tie.

I close my eyes and they roll like thunder
Into the back of my head, to strike
Down the photograph trash, to pop
The balloons of dreams, all hot air.

The sunflowers couldn’t make you smile,
the kind words didn’t make you listen;
you never would have heard my heart shouting.
Nothing I did could make me visible,
more than just a shadow on the street.


Details | Free verse | |

Lake Double Tree

Lake-Double-Tree.

I sat for hours
and watched
in admiring silence

in front of me
one  lonely  tree
on a little  island

one lonely tree
mirrored in the lake
under a little island

I did notice
the forested hills far away
the glass lake
the blue sky


that lonely tree
conquered my heart
in its moving  
yet not isolated  way 

that was the reason
for my enduring stay
 at the border
of Lake Double Tree

© Ellie Daphne 


Details | Free verse | |

WD Nightmare

i found u out
caught u hiding
my heart on fire
pulsing temples
drumbeat wreck my head
and the skin just crawls away

ive been so good
my thoughts so clear
halfway there
doors slamming in my face
this is what disaster feels like, right?
my best friend tell me again
im better than this

im weak. dont look here now. everything could come down
on me and u and ur love too
dont waste me away
dont take my music away
the past is present and screaming thru my lungs
the words i heard are beating in my skull

sit still little girl
let the world swim by u
count the days, wash it away
and walk with ur eyes cast down
this place is dangerous
balloon mind and severed nerves
calling for me...


Details | Free verse | |

alone on the trial

step by step 
up the trail you go
with friend or family
i dont think soo
i am going up the trail
were the front isnt seen
were i walk through the dark
any one want to follow me?
help me? keep my back? 
no i guess not
just another day alone again
walking is tiering 
i take a rest 
and sit by the tree 
and hear my heart beat
its weird
never dont this before
i guess it was just a dream
and i walked some more
alone on the trail seems hard dont u think
well that is what i do
it is just lonely me


Details | Free verse | |

Vacancy

I looked for you today
In the places you used to stay
Doing the things you used to do
Seeing the sights you used to see
Being the person you used to be
But all I found
Was a vacancy
That should have been filled with you

Who could ever take up that space?
Which mortal could ever replace
You?
If it can’t be your face I see
Leave it be
Keep it empty.


Details | Free verse | |

The Dolls Choice

A fragile doll sits with her back to the glass
slowly sinking in sand that fights through the funnel
one grain at a time it replaces threads from the spindle
an agonizing process with no option to deny


Details | Free verse | |

next heart's song

there are days when the words come
like fevered friends grasping at lapels
urgently telling the tale with gasping breath
other times they come like a sweet river in the sunshine
they flow like bright beauty
the words can ignite you or seduce
like a simple phrase sweet to the ear
like her playing her guitar
melody brings the heart such joys
the concept brings such beauty
just a fragment of song
but in it i hear night caravans on high desert road
i hear autumn sunshine laying on soft grass
i see all the creation possible to me
so play a little longer
let me hear another summer day
let me find the words to my next heart's song
let me see the beauty in you


Details | Free verse | |

You and Me

You were beside me
When we walked on the wet sand, 
Hand in hand, 
The waves lapping at our feet.

You chose to stand 
Among the waves.
I chose to sit and watch
The night sowing the stars in the sky.

Now where the sun 
Sank into the night
I search for those moments
Among the remaining golden threads.

All that is left between you and me
Is the silence after the seventh wave
Drowning the clamour
Of the others, lapping at others' feet.


Details | Free verse | |

Fade to Black

Look at me.
What do you notice?
Skin. Bone. A heart.
I am real…but no one sees me.
Though I stand full and dark against the wall I feel as though I blend in.
I fade…into the wall.

But I watched you grow.

You run past me with a smile on your face and a bright Crayola crayon in your hand.
You mark me with the color.
As you run the line extends and I am defiled but it’s…
Nice.
Not that I could say much anyway.

After all…I’m just a wall.

A blank canvas for you to express yourself on
To let your sadness out on
To let your anger out on
But what about me?

Do I not feel?

Look inside and you will see the pipes that are my bones leaking from the weight of the roof I support for you
The boiler that is my heart pumping the steam that I breathe
But I catch it
As you walk by
If you see me breathe…
You’ll run.
If you hear me cry…
You’ll run.

Because, after all…
I’m just a wall.

I don’t want you to run from me
So I’ll just keep doing what I do.

Stay quiet.

But it gets hard when you have your moments.
The little artist in you emerges
And you find me
Waiting to use me as a display board for your work.
You find a spot and stab your art into me with a thumbtack
It penetrates my skin
I take it in
As a mark of your love
You are a friend to me
You are etched into me
But it’s crazy cuz it hurts
But if feels…so...

Good.

I don’t protest
As you stab another hole in my chest
The boiler is strong
So I don’t die.
But I cry…
All the time.

Seven…eight…nine…ten
Ten holes in me where you couldn’t decide if that picture looked better here…
Or there…
Ten bullet holes forever embedded in me accompanied by the bright red mark you left years ago.
Yes it’s faded but it’s still there.
You notice it but you pretend not to
You pretend to pretend that I do not exist.

But I’m here…and always will be.

Ten minutes of stabbing and you still can’t seem to figure out what I’m good for
Until momma screams “Child, just get some Scotch tape,
You’re ****ing up my wall!”

…momma did always have a way with words.

But not even tape can heal my wounds or mend my broken heart.

Time passes on and you forget me.
Everything else is more important to you now
As I fade to black
I still stand to keep the foundation up.
I supported you in the hard times
And didn’t let this house fall.
When you needed to cry
I muffled your tears from the outside world

But I’m still not enough!

You use me as a punching bag now
My paint is peeling and I start to fade
Into shades of gray
The beat of my boiler
Is starting…to slow.

And though you’ll grow older and wiser
And forget me
I still have those marks.
The crayon, the holes, the dent.

I will take them with me to my grave
And I will cry from all that you did to me
I have no soul anymore
I’m not happy anymore

But I will always smile for you.

Because I can’t erase the happiness you made me feel.
The scars seem insignificant
But I still feel
Even though you don’t think I do.

You gave me happiness…you brought me pain
And for you I’d gladly suffer again.
I’ve been with you since you were small…

But you’ll only see me as just a wall.


Details | Free verse | |

Sleep Is But A Tease

Sleep is but a tease
To the guilty mind.
A temporary escape.
But is it worth it to wake up
To disappointment every morning?
Maybe that is why my eyes 
Refuse to close.
Maybe that is why my thoughts
Cease to slow.
Reality has me in a vice grip.
The undead reach out to me.
Laying here
With an open stare.
Demons approach
From everywhere.
Still I cannot fall asleep.
A hopeless escape
From reality.
Just one more bag of bones
To rattle me awake.
If only I could make it
To my knees to pray.
And find a way to redeem my sins.
And rid myself of these evil trends.
If only I could take a break
And find a temporary escape
For sleep is but a tease 
To the guilty mind.


Details | Free verse | |

Altar-Gleam

Oh, Lord, it rends my soul to give
this wish--desire--full away,
Not clinging to a piece of hope;
A piece that says, "Perhaps someday..."

For now the thing--so frightening clear--
Is to release it dark and full
and keep no sliver-thought of me,
Though giving leaves a gaping hole.

Desire--oh, how sharp the spears
of joy that haunt this favorite dream.
But am I Yours enough to push
this treasure toward Your altar's gleam?

The thund'ring toss of straining mind.
The clashing knowledge: this is right.
The heart's own cry: "Oh please, not yet!"
The beckon of Your fire bright.

No looking back, no holding on,
I watch my treasure dance in flame.
And then I feel inside my soul
The power of your tender Name.

I've given what was dearest mine
But just before the wound bleeds free
You staunch the flow and catch my heart
And with Your Lover's arms hold me.

What looks as ash is only just
the dust from which Your plans arise
And though I feel the burning here
I know the mercy in Your eyes.


Details | Free verse | |

No Strings Attached

Down by those tracks, 
You silly astronaut. 

Its an Odyssey, 
I'll admit
That I ever survived. 

Fluids, moans
and Cries thereafter
Were undoubtedly
Where this 
Masochist was
Born. 

I promised to 
Prevail, but 
Salt in the wound
Sent me down an 
Unending Spiral


Details | Free verse | |

I CAN NO LONGER SHED TEARS

Like Snow White
I have unknowingly bitten into the poisonous
My heart beats just to keep me alive. 
I am broken.
I feel nothing. 

My heart is being cloaked against a warming.
My body shivers, shakes. 
My mind ponders, can love still grow?
The wells have dried I can no longer shed tears.

A strangling weed has begun to take control.
Tangling so deep around my heart that loves light is so hard to find. 
A tender feeling brings pain to the center of my being. 

The constant negativity is gnawing on my brain making it become numb. 
My head reels in pain to think a tender thought.
Mindless chatter is all I hear.

I crave darkness.
A sleep, an endless sleep.
Judge me if you must, condemn me not.
For, I am already condemned.
 
My blissful memories one by one are slowly fading away.
My warm emotions turning into a cold wind freezing my soul.

Will a true loves kiss when touched my lips rejuvenate my soul 
Expel me from the loveless poisons running rampant in my veins.
Uproot the lifeless emotions growing in my heart.
Reheat what passion remains.
Ignite the dying coals. 

Like Snow White 
Can I still arise to begin anew?
A true loves light capturing my soul.
A touch warming me to my core.  
Ending the lonely terror.

The wells have dried I can no longer shed tears. 


Details | Free verse | |

The Lonely Shadow of Fortune

I wander all alone in a deserted land
As I listen to a melancholic tune
Nothing is offered in this barren land
But the lonely shadow of fortune

I can see all the pain through the screaming ocean
As I ;listen to the sulking waves
Nothing is offered in the board less ocean
But the lonely shadow of fortune

Through the stillness of the lonely land
And the bitterness of the angry ocean
I can see everything this weary world offers
But it’s only me who can see 
It’s only me who tastes 
The lonely shadow of fortune


Details | Free verse | |

Happy Hampton Beach

Glistening throngs walk in detached cadence 
Sweating long necks on a production line
Along the boardwalk
Pungent saltwater and fried dough drifts
Ocean meets country fair

Constant clamor of teen and seagull
A multitude of color variation
Red to black
Whiffs of Coppertone and Noxzema
To ease the pain of the vain and pale

Summer at Happy Hampton Beach
Arcade upon arcade
Clinking bells and whirly sounds
“You’re a Winner!” it screams
And then we are gone, until next year


Details | Free verse | |

WHERE ARE YOU

The days linger when you know
that the one that once loved you
no longer does

The nights grow colder when
the arms of the one you loved
are not there to embrace you anymore

The heart dies when love can’t
feel the warmth of being loved

The soul aches searching for
the love it once knew…


Details | Free verse | |

Life As I Know It

So this is my life...
I'm an eighteen year old drop out.
I live in a ghetto motel with my mom.
Oh, and with my thirty nine year old boyfriend.
He was my parents' friend.
He used to babysit us.
I work on houses and cars with him.
I haven't smoked crack in about a week 
The longest I've gone since he started me on it.
It was supposed to help me lose weight.
Well, it did.
Almost fifty pounds since February.
I'm on my second bottle of whiskey.
I don't want to turn out an alcoholic like my mother.
But the drinking helps.
It numbs the pain of my void and pointless existence.
I slipped up and cut myself again the other day.
It doesn't help like it used to.
It just makes the pain worse.
He's so mean.
I hate him.
He's cruel and disgusting.
He instigates all these arguments.
He never lets me talk.
He just accuses me of cheating.
He calls me lazy.
He tells me he's tired of me.
I have finally admitted to myself that I hate him.
I hate him so much.
He just told me he can't handle me.
Good.
Because as much as I hate him, 
I can't walk away.
I've tried.
I guess I would rather be miserable with him
Than risk being alone.
How stupid am I? 
How does my life suck this badly? 
I had a plan!
I was an honors student!
I had friends and a life and a future!
What happened to me?


Details | Free verse | |

On a Drive

     The Houses space apart
     After a Stop sign to this street
     With Nightmares on the lawn
     Where the Maple trees rise tall.

     Small critters travel through
     Birds flitter in their turn
     You drove passed once and noticed
     One House more than the others.

     Its driveway slightly cracked,
     But no need for new repairs.
     Nothing was inviting you
     Past the few Porch walkway stairs.

     The Windows looking down
     Saw straight into your face;
     The House is not abandoned
     But there is no sign of life.

     Behind is fence and gateway
     Briefly passing bye
     You remember in a dreamscape
     Some lone House along your drive.


Details | Free verse | |

Caged Agony

She was caged in his mystery.
Just a glimpse into his soul;
And she saw the anger flow freely.

A father’s blood tainted
And with it came sorrow;
And with it came unspeakable torment.

There was not a person,
That felt the pain,
Its symptoms were distinctively his. 

Whispers like the wind urged him to be happy;
As though condolences could take away the grief;
Each face was featureless, each apology was a fake.

She found him alone and broken.
Within him she saw helplessness;
It was masqueraded by a need to remain strong.

On his shoulders was the World,
The weight of which was becoming too much,
Knees bent from the pressure.

He looked at her and their bereavement was matched;
Both cold from the tears,
Both were searching for their escaped faith.

A child was taken at her word,
Lost amongst the other realms;
She had felt empty.
 
Her sobs at night were heard by none,
Ridiculed by her traumatizing decision-
He saw her standing outcast.  

Their inward screams had echoed outward;
Only they could hear each other’s cries.
Drawn together in unity, a relationship formed. 

They were never perfect for each other,
But their voids were filled. 
They were very much alike, and yet so different.

They treated one another with disrespect.
It turned their love into rage;
This was followed by resentment.

Hands unclasped as their families pulled them apart,
Tears rolled from her eyes and his desperate struggle ensued;
He vowed to someday get her back.

He found himself anguished once more, as did she. 
For who would hold her now?
How would he fall asleep?

They would move on as all lost lovers do,
But no other love could be the same.
No lesson as great as the one that they had experienced; together. 



Details | Free verse | |

Stage Fright

My character's poem!! Enjoy ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


I can't stand it - 
I wanna stand up, but how?
I am full of anguish 
I have stage fright... 

I can't stand it...
I'm a bit scared...I'm unprepared...
I want to get rid of stage fright, but HOW? 

I might be late
I wanna be there on time, but when do I get there?
Oh...at 4:00 PM...ooh great. 
It's 3:07 PM...happy to say everything's gonna turn out okay...hopefully
But I still can't shake this dread that I feel
It's so unreal...

I have stage fright...
Well...I'll try to make it on time and do my interview with all of my might. 
But it's embarrassing - I know the drill nevertheless
I think... I always think I could reach up to success 
I always worry, but what is there to be worried about?
I'm gonna make it on time...no doubt about that. 

everything's going to be alright
I'll make my ride on time...

I can't stand it... 
I want to perform on stage with some positivity in mind
I must use some of my strength 
I'm such a wimp though... 
Oh I should try to build some courage
But I can't stand my ground...I can't stand on stage
I can't stand it...I can't stand it...at all. 
I must stand...tall
Or I'll slip and fall... 
I am so selfish...but tell me:
How do I stand out? 

I can't stand it... 
I want to stand out, but how? 


Details | Free verse | |

No Longer

Beautiful...
This oil scented black...
Closet, no way out...
Mommy? Daddy?
.....................................
There not proud of me...
It stares...
Dead in the doorway...
My slip of air...
Boiler on...
Record plays...
...sdrewkcaB
Silence is in the air...
Dad?
He takes me once again...
Throws me on a bed...
And he said...
Nothing...


Details | Free verse | |

Symptoms Well-Rehearsed

I know not the color of your eyes,
But I know what is in them.

I know how they analyze,
Picking apart every mundane asset
Of a universe we find bewitching;
How they dance with understanding,
Reflecting a life most dedicated
To the art of knowing more.

And I know how they fear,
With cautious, scrutinizing movements
Borne of trust and the betrayal that took it;
Eyes I know will look to mine
And beg this world to see the same—
That I would never leave.


I know not the sound of your voice,
But I know what it speaks.

I know how it speaks control,
With the smooth, methodical candor
Of a sentence well thought-out;
A voice with many thousand days
Of consideration and control,
Experiments in communication.

And I know how it speaks of melancholy,
Of ages spent in ageless wait
For one that may not be;
That chronic touch of cynicism
Brought by ancient mechanism,
A defense by sarcasm.


I know so little of you,
And yet I know enough.

So though I may not know your face
When first I pass you by,
Just look in my direction long
That I may catch your eye.

And though I may not hear your voice
When first you call my name,
Just speak aloud, as to yourself:
I'll hear you all the same.

And though we may not know at first
When we have finally met,
Keep watch for symptoms well-rehearsed
And I will find you yet.


Details | Free verse | |

EXISTENCE


I see lives, hollow and stuffed...
Meaningless motives, dried souls and rough voices
...heap of dried grass tied together,
Gestures without expressions, smiles without passion..
I see forced walk through the corridors of life...
...run without zeal for the ambitions tied,
I see myself seeking refuge...
…in the cellar filled with words, translations & solitude,
I see shrinking perimeters of my existence.


Details | Free verse | |

Cradle Of Hope

The white of me was a dream… 
Drifting in and out of surreal reality 
My heart and soul needing the same thing 
Tired of the white porcelain mask I wear
 
With forced smiles masking real fears 
Never letting my act slip 
It left my face and soul emotionless with silent anger
A white, broken soul destroyed by numbness 
Dying inside…incomplete and empty
 
My heart sinking and drowning in my own tears 
Trying desperately to stay afloat... 
Until someone reaches down and saves me 
With time being my only cradle of hope
 


Details | Free verse | |

Lonely Nights

 LONELY NIGHTS

Against the old oak I cling my cheek
to hear a lost voice inside;
The voice of a lost friend,
the voice of my lost father and mother,
the voice of lost love.
And in this lonely night the voices
inside the old oak are quiet and inaudible,
as if dying along with my spirit.
The night has turned its beautiful lonely face to the sky,
and I,
I call out my own name in this lonely night.
which became perfectly strange to me –
with some desperate hope
that I shall hear the echo of my own spirit.
Wise people say that each spirit is made of memories,
and my memories are dead;
dead like those lost voices inside the old oak,
which, like vampire claws,
raises its old, barren branches towards a black crow,
to steel its voice and to call out into this silent, lonely night,
like the voice of many friends of men,
that someone's tear sometime dies before it's born.
Inside me, there is still hope
that someone shall hear my name,
and that it won't sound as strange
as it does to me.
Slowly and ghastly I tread the shadows
like a sinner treads the skulls in hell,
and I call out with a solitary cry
into this lonely night,
to chase away death, if I can't chase away solitude.
But what is life worth without voices,
not the ones you can buy,
but voices of conscience,
which are born and eternally live along with human souls.

Against the old oak I cling my cheek,
and I listen in to a thousand souls,
Now I know,
yes, Lord, now I know that someone will call my name as well,
because when you hear the voices of souls
of dear people you've lost,
you have the power
to bear memories of yourself in someone else.

©Walter William Safar



Details | Free verse | |

Maybes In A Midnight Bar

I have seen you wandering through my life
A hundred nights in a lonely downtown bar
We have never spoken a single word
Our eyes have never met
Yet I wonder what are you thinking?
You sit alone at midnight
The crowds move around you
No one says a word to you
I doubt that you hear the music
But your fingernails click in time to the beat
Your eyes are dark and cold
They stare straight ahead
Looking at a hundred people
You do not see them
Your thoughts in another place
It is almost as if you cannot hear the song
Almost as if the people do not exist
You are in a world of your own making
Are you thinking about a long lost kiss?
Or maybe about the love you never found
Maybe you are just a sad, lonely drunk
Without a thought in her head
Maybe if I spent time with you
Shared even the briefest moment
We could talk
Maybe we could have a dance or two
And at last you could hear the music


Details | Free verse | |

Alone In A Crowd

When a girl walks down the hallway,
Talks like you, and acts like you
but doesn’t 
walk like you
You know she’s different
But what you don’t know
Is how she feels
How every time,
every time,
she takes a step,
she is reminded of
how different 
She really is
The broken one
in the box of crayons
Sure, she has friends
Sure, she laughs and talks
with them
Shares stories and memories 
with them
But, she feels alone
No one to talk to
about all the 
Things swirling in her head
like “What would it be like,
If, just for 
One day,
I could be 
a normal kid?”
Then 
after the weekdays
a break from
the solidarity
and loneliness
Wheelchair basketball practice
She laughs and talks
Gets up and walks
Because here,
are the people 
who won’t judge
Here, she hears
horror stories
From other hallways 
Stories that tell her how 
lucky she is
Lucky that she is
not bullied 
just for being different
That she’s lucky
to even have friends
That she’s lucky
that she doesn’t 
get suspended 
for using
self-defense
against the 
bullies
That she’s lucky
she has optimism
and a smile on her face
because they give
her the strength
and courage
to go back and 
face the 
buzzing school
alone again
on Monday







Details | Free verse | |

Loneliness

Loneliness can be favored But not fancied Loneliness can over power you, Your thoughts taking over control Loneliness is quiet, Its isolation will suffocate you If you're in loneliness Far too long


Details | Free verse | |

It takes one to be lonely

Are you afraid of the dark?

Ever see yourself thinking from across the room?
And make yourself nervous you’re looking at you?
Being lonely is hard to handle, harder in dark and gloom.
So much time amongst nothing, you have nothing left of your own.

Are you really alone in the dark?

Just because you can't see it, is it not there?
When the moon doesn't shine, is it gone or just timid?
Countless things can inhabit the dark simultaneously. 
But in the dark you’re undoubtedly alone.

Are you afraid of the dark?
Are you afraid of being alone?


Details | Free verse | |

The Lonely Moon

I sit on my porch, viewing the sky,
The lonely moon is there,
There amongst the clouds,
Distant sometimes a full moon, a half moon, 
A quarter moon, a crescent moon,
The clouds drift by,
Nature's lonely parade.

copyright Gwen Schutz



Details | Free verse | |

Jaded Shadows

Oh lonely mist creep through this window and blanket this heart
your expanding presence nurtures these wounds. 
Isolate this dignity while releasing these inner inhibitions.
Lonely mist... these wounds are too deep this blood tainted black;
cover this image seeing nothing but your palm print
you are solace from the jungle beneath these feet,
worshiping your suffocating light and dreary humor
the moon has risen to guide this path. 



Mark Taylor/Contest:Through The Mist/8-21-2014


Details | Free verse | |

Hands Of Time

I lost my head,
It's gone now,
There's no way to get it back
Inside one's mind
I am blind,
Hopeless,pitiful
A trail of black,
There's no sunshine or 
rainbows
In my state,
In my state,
Of wrong turns and hurtful 
burns
Angst,among these
Despaired hates,
Darkness is too easy a way to 
put it,
So I run within my mind
To try to find 
What never seems to have 
existed at all
My half empty glass of 
impossible,
Carelessness,wishful thinking
Help is needed though never 
wanted
Not allowed in my state of 
mind,
A monster I've become
Not to others but to myself,
So now,I look back
At the good times that once 
were mine
And sit and think,
If only I could turn back these 
hands of time


Details | Free verse | |

Loveless In Time

Tick and tock goes the clock,
Wonder here and there,
Wondering as I crawl through the flock,
Where will it all make sense? Such a fear.

Lost, confused, dazed and glued,
To the past, where the time flew,
No one really does know,
We just gawk, awe and try to grow.

Fears pressing in the mind,
Fears pressing and always remind,
That time is fleeting, faster than we realize,
"All the time in the world", what a silly phrase.

Beckon to me, I call,
No answer in return,
Catch me as I fall,
So I see, it is back to the crawl.


Details | Free verse | |

10 o'clock, the time of the lonely ghost inside my head

10 o’ clock, the time
of the lonely ghost inside
my head.

Through an open window,
whispers of the night incite
a hunger to kill a few years in me.
So I grab a cig.

I step thru the crest of waves of darkness
And feel my darkness connect,
So I stand under the lamp, and try to
stay lit with my cig, we only have
very little time to stay lit.

Floating around me is 
A fellow lonely moth
I wonder if he is avoiding his darkness too
Or maybe he’s too worried about other things.


Details | Free verse | |

Just Like The Mean Reader

Even beauty begs 
Not like the downtown folk
You beg as you surrender
To the one who can't remember 
As the thought of you two sinks
In your scratched soul
Her thoughts are buried in the fall
Where she met the king fisher 
That hooked her heart you cant reach

She knows your art is great
She confesses to all her friends
That you are the only thing she has got
But you have nothing

She reads all your stories with a twitch 
Smiles at the words you tweet  

But like the mean reader
When she looks at your eyes she cant even wink 

She cant waste any ink
On a soul she never picked 


Details | Free verse | |

in the city

i saw him sit in darkness
but he refrained 
from the final slip,
for the city was so
bright in the window and 
light touched the sill like angel
fingers on his cheek, and he
desired the dainty dexterity
to touch him last. The cars,
little lights, living their lives,
lasting as long as the length
of their mechanisms permits.
I felt him feeling the fingers
of millions of lights, 
blinking and flashing until
their fire fades finally.
 
In the reflection on
the window, he saw 
a light;
he smiled,
Blinking, flashing,
and beaming 
in the city.


Details | Free verse | |

While He Sleeps

If being with the one you love
Is tearing your apart;
If there's an aching or a need
Within your tired heart.
If you're still lonely in the night
While he lays by your side;
If something gained is something lost -
Is something special's died...

Well, After all, remember,
It's a pattern of the plan;
You can't create a lover
From a dull, inactive man.
You're dreaming of the better times;
He's napping, snore by snore.
You think about this love
And wonder where it's headed for.

There are no words of wisdom
Written there upon the page.
There are no drugs or cures to help
Slow down the signs of age.
He must grow old while you grow young -
It's him who pays the cost.
Sleep's a lonely thing
When something gained is something lost.


Details | Free verse | |

the light

bath in the light 
attracted by my sight
fly like a moth to the flame 
i don't no it is a dangerous game 
can't tell if i will  live or die 
spread my wings try to fly
far away from this so called life
leave it all behind burdens and strife
can i come closer now
are you falling for me 
the flickering element 
is beckoning we
the beautiful light 
calls me from the night
hungry i crave you
forgot about what i must do 
danger all around 
to many birds in this town
your light shines the brightest
your love is the whitest
can i come closer now
are you falling for me
 


Details | Free verse | |

Starry, Cold Night

 
I see you leaving tonight 
As moments passed, neither there is light 
Crossing the road and nowhere in sight 
Please come back, for I am in fright 

This one cold night, you take up your flight 
Hoping one day that I might 
To see that we are now together 
And the times of sorrow be lost forever 

Time goes by and waters run down 
As my face bow and you can see a frown 
How difficult this is to see you go (see you go) 
And your arms are now for other 
 And the times of sorrow be lost forever 

The years passed by and still you don’t remember 
Moments that we were then together 
I just want you to return for me 
 It turned out that this was a tragic comedy


Details | Free verse | |

Our Love Was Priceless

Take away my flaws…give me your best shot – gimmee your all!
Lady Gaga: [Give me a big (applause…x3)]x3
Beyonce/Rihanna: Let go of all worries…please remain by my side and put my mind 
and heart and soul at ease
Gather around me, my stinging, beautiful bees…
I get pleasure off of your applauses…giving me satisfaction…I feel like I’m top dog 
right now! Discouragement won’t push me down to the ground again!

*Verse 19*
Beyonce/Eminem/Justin Timberlake/Britney Spears/me: Am I going above my 
limits?
Why am I still throwing my fits?
I don’t need your envy…but your wonderful, stylish sympathy
Rehearses in my mind…set me free, angel of forever-glowing glory
All: You took me to a higher place called Heavenly Haven
You are the enlightening dove and I’m the frightening raven
But, we’re two peas in a pod – opposites attract this time around
I was once lost in a multitude – once pushed down to this dirty floor
Me: I’m wingless…I’m invisible…
I’m incredible..I can do the impossible
Fighting negativity, so I can be me – 
Instead, I invite positivity and kiss sunlit glee 
Beyonce: Come here…fly to me…don’t be blue
Rihanna: If you only knew…that I loved you
Lady Gaga: But, I guess I was that bizarre girl that came out of the blue…just b/c 
I’m eccentric, doesn’t mean I ain’t wild and epic…

*Chorus*

You’re my ultimate addiction – you lift me higher than cloud seven
I gottah keep pace to run this race the right way…
Alright, you’re making my day…you are like my cherished Haven
Satisfaction is ours, baby…nothing’s in my way today!
Can you see it like fireworks in the sky?
Did you ever wish to be free
Like those mockingbirds and jays in the aqua-blue sky? 
You and I will receive the ability to fly
The ability to show off our inner glow…yah know…soooo…
And we’ll be putting up a show…yah know…yah know…let the wicked wind blow…
oooh ahhahah ohhh…
Stop being an attention whore...
You were the one that I adore...
Our love was priceless...
Now, my heart's weeping and in distress

*Verse 20*
Me: You’re beyond brilliant…(Beyonce: in my eyes…)
So exquisite…you amaze me – you get the hint? (I’m telling the truth – no lies…
don’t wave your goodbyes)
Hmmmm mmm…
All along, I was in denial for so long…for oh so long…I’ve been proven wrong that 
you and I can get along
But I’m singing this lullaby with a touch of wildness and surreal style, but first, let 
me write this somewhat satisfying song…
Me: I’m clueless...our love was priceless - what happened to it? You broke up with 
me and stomped on me like B.S.
Lady Gaga: I’m speechless
Rihanna: I’m so depressed
Beyonce: I feel so insecure, I must confess
Me: I’m trying to make good progress
Beyonce: You’re interesting beyond reason and logic…our love ain’t plastic
You’re not a brick on the wall 
You’re my fantasy – you’re just that fancy & fantastic…so epic…
Give me your all…your all…stand tall – give me your all!
Rihanna: give me all you got
Me: give me your satisfaction – don’t leave me to rot
All: We hit the dead end – I guess love is the end…darlin', is it true? 
Was our love nothin' or priceless to you? 
'CAUSE I ain't jokin' - I'm sick with the love flu 
A-and I'm left without a clue...I must solve this mystery on my own without you...


Details | Free verse | |

Untitled Document

What must it be like
to have no name,
to be forgotten by your 
parent?
Do you sit and dream
of all the names you
could have had, or
pray for the day
when your mother
comes back and
answers your ultimate 
question,
What is my title?


Details | Free verse | |

arguments with myself

                                                            800 miles.
                                                            2 hearts.
                                                              1 love.
                                                          How do I go on?
                                                    I cry myself to sleep.
                                                        Why do I stay?
                                                           I can't leave.
                                                             He's waiting.
                                                An argument, needed to be won.
                                                      I feel like I'm in love.
                                                          No, I'm too young.
                                                             Time for bed.
                                                     why don't you stay up.
                             why don't you just think. Think about everything you've done.
                                                     Think of who've you hurt.
                                                     Think about who's gone.
                                                          Why don't you cry?
                                                     What's wrong with you?
                                                            Are you crazy?
                                                          what will you do?
                                                      Too many questions.
                                                        Too many tears.
                                                       So many lost things.
                                                      So many found fears.
                                                          Hold my hand?
                                                           Hold me tight.
                                                          Don't let me go.
                                                          please don't fight.
                                                            Take me home.
                                                            take me back.
                                                      Don't forget my love. 
                                                      Don't forget the facts...


Details | Free verse | |

Isis in the Smoke

Isis in the Smoke
 
A hush has rested this quiet afternoons sunless wing
While his thoughts hang on a trembling tip between nowhere and knowing
And the flowers in his garden drip diamond drops of rain
The cool wet darken colours suffuse the window pane
 
As from his frozen fingers smoking drifts
The quietude is humming mute words that breathing softly gives 
A curling pathway carrying so many memories
To the vacant love inside his eyes sent to another moments kiss
 
While the tapping rhythm of the sky dusts day to fallen dusk
These mysteries of living have perceived some other or another gentle task
The ghost of a soft bewitching smile calls once more to his heart
And his dreams are born by a sighing only her touching could impart
 
As a thundering roll echoes to lightning skies when the silence broke
Through the wafting layers and spiralling vines of blue grey drifting smoke
He espies the passages and the fields where only the lonely talk
Calling him once again to the place and time where only Angels walk
 
The room has slipped from dim to sheltered dark
While his breath in a cloud forms a ghostly unspoken remark
He raises the glowing ember to remind him of the time
To when all his love had a language in the vision in her body and her mind   
 
No voice has uttered through the day the name that lay burning in his throat
From the dark and from all the stars fashioned a velvet shaded cloak
Which he swept about her naked shoulders in a universal flight
But from his dreams her pale form danced throughout the suffusing night
 
In the warmth of her arms he raised his soul and to her breast he lay the word 
Her hair became his shadow his eyes became her smile and their name was once more heard
In a proclamation of a silence where lovers sometime walk
And so entwined they where carried to the time and place where only Angels talk
 
As suns wing lightens upon the shaft of a burgeoning morning
He swore by all that is sacred and by all his love he heard a distant laughing 
And a garden filled with the green of flowers ignites his waking eye
Isis languished in the dazzled window pane with a smile he could not deny
 
As a thundering roll brings lightning skies to where the silence broke
Through the wafting layers and spiraling vines of blue grey drifting smoke
He espies the passages and the fields where only the lonely walk
Calling him once again to the place and time where only Angels talk


Details | Free verse | |

Lonely Waters

Water;

Everywhere, yet

barely there.

I thought I was going to fall

into—

through—

this cold emptiness.

Submerged,

suffocated

and no one would notice.

So I clung on 

to the edge of the pool.

My mother told me to let go,

I told me to let go.

Sinking,

a sinking feeling,

suspended in a lonely place,

bounded by these fragile walls so

easily crossed over.

My vision went blurry,

all I could see was my fingers

still clinging on.


Details | Free verse | |

Loneliness

So many years of being lonely and no companion by my side.
waking up lonely in bed everyday no one to snuggle no one to hold.
Tired of this existence death would be sweeter.
Looking at lovers holding hand and blessing them good luck and togetherness.
Tired of walking the road alone as lonely as a man can be.
My days are long and sad waiting for someone to complete me.
My shadow my only friend but he too is lonely just like me.
A woman's shadow to give it company... long dark shadows on the floor.
Two lovers kissing God bless their souls. But alas this loneliness feels like an eternity.
Just as lonely as God on His throne High above us two loners misunderstood by the world.


Details | Free verse | |

One Plus Three Equals One --

1 + 3 =1

This kitchen's one cup
one spoon
serves one man's fingers stirring
a dollop of cream

atop the counter
3 visiting ants
pass beneath a French Press
seeming separate
seeming alone
seeming aimless
wandering about
our mutual landscape

how barren the cold marble
for those so distant from the nest
that their seeking antennae never touch
never acknowledge one another
assuring reality's connection
all is well

perhaps
until inexhaustible solitude
accepts 1 + 3 = 1
the cup
the coffee
the swirling thinking will continue
stirring darkness to disappear
inviting light's eddying dawn
to reveal the way
patience willing


Details | Free verse | |

Empty Room

Alone again now
Seems no hope’s forthcoming
Nothing makes a sound
But a hearts hard drumming

The nights are cold, forlorn
Waiting for a touch
In pieces, a life torn
The need of you oh so much

An empty bed, an Empty Room
Wishing one were here
I’ll find you in dreams soon
Yes my love, take away my fear

And so as I think of you tonight
Love songs fill my mind
As I try with all my might
Hoping to search you out, and find

Deep thoughts, late nights, and fears
As I imagine how I’ll fare 
In my life, who will fill the years
With whom my heart and soul I’ll share

An empty bed, an Empty Room
Wishing one were here
I’ll find you in dreams soon
Yes my love, take away my fear

But for today only an Empty Room
Comforted cooly only by the moon
My love, I’ll be with you soon
Far away, in another Empty Room


Details | Free verse | |

These Miles

These miles that are between us that seem so far,
  Matters not to me for I know who and where you are.
The woman I dream of spending the rest of my life with,
  My Lords  answer to my most personal wish.
How your sweet words tell me forever you are mine,
  Carved deeply into my heart for all time. 
As I  glaze at night upon the fullest of moons ,
   Tells me you will be with me so very soon.
Patiently but anxiously I wait for that day to arrive,
   I take a deep breath as I loudly sigh.
To share our hearts as we generously do,
   Will be the one thing that will get us through.
These miles between us may seem real far ,
   For the love we have my dear was writen in the stars.
tac


Details | Free verse | |

will she ever know

Will she ever know?
How I truly feel
People tell me I have the cards
But I don’t know how to deal
I’ve never been in love before
So I don’t know if it’s real
I don’t know how I’m meant to carry the weight
I’m used to leaving clubs with girls I won’t marry or date
Knowing after I leave the next day I won’t be calling again
I want to tell her but I’m stalling again
But we continue to send texts daily
Been going to the club a lot less lately
Will she have the strength to overlook my past?
Will she have the strength just to laugh?
Will she take my heart and just put it back
I’m 22 am I wrong for having fun with girls for my own enjoyment?
I don’t care about her past or her number of boyfriends
I’m not proud of my past but I’m not ashamed either
Don’t want to put myself all out
And look back at it like I became weaker
Am i wrong for being a man with these kinds of feelings?
Are the feelings real?
Or am I looking for comfort because my parents never showed me any love
And I’m healing still
Will she be the girl who makes me a better man?
Will she see my strength and see I never ran
Will she see my self-harm scars and judge me by the old me
Will she say “Alex please kiss me and hold me”
I don’t want another girl and don’t want her with anyone else
Am i selfish for wanting her for myself?
Will I end up hurting her through my own pain?
What if she expects more & I’m too stubborn so won’t change?
Why do I have these feelings when I don’t know how to show?
she means the world to me
want her to be the girl for me
But I wonder if she will ever know


Details | Free verse | |

face in a large bag of ice

face in a large bag of ice
trying to forget that i was in love with you
when the only kiss is a phone conversation so acidic,
how can you cleanse and warm the soul and turn the ice into water
perhaps it is these warm teardrops steadily traveling down my face
it is as if we feigned all the magic moments
did we tire of each other so quickly that we did not even have time to savor savoring
all i know is as i turn blue, i am clear and free of all that was poison to my soul
until my breaths of becomes labored and slurred, 
i put my face in a large bag of ice
continuation is not an option
oh, how i would love someone to either talk me out of it or talk to me period with an abundance of exclamatory
my life seems like it has been an endless array of many a nocturnal pathway
the fork in the road has finally spooned me up
meanwhile, the ice slowly but surely is beginning to do the trick
i patiently await the time when a forgotten entity is born


Details | Free verse | |

"The Wreath"

The wreath that hangs on your door or your window

invites a cold, lonely soul to come look and see.

The wreath is like the circle of life for

the holidays that makes everyone

just a tad "bit crazy" this time of year.

The big red bow fashioned like

a tie to some colorful, fresh smelling foilage.

"Is it the pine, oak or cedar you smell?"

You just want to look and see where

the wreath will fall this time.

The wreath is a solitary item

that says, "Come, look and wonder

what something plain can be made beautiful

for all people to see."

A sign that cold, lonely souls should gather themselves

and seek out the wreath.

The wreath is one of the keys that will

lead you to a place of

forgiveness, mercy, friendship and warmth. 

"Will you come stay a while?" 

"We are all friends here in need of company."


Details | Free verse | |

Shrunken Figments

Defeat creaming,
Around wet minds,
Blear noisy eyes.

Colors discolored,
Charred black. 
If white peeps,
Threatens to amend,
Erase the black
And bleach;
I choose.
Black needles,
Defeats white.

Naked cuts.
Does one run and flee?
Or hide?
Or yield?
Or wanting to loosen,
Fetter the knot closer? 

Prejudiced happiness.
Serves the culprit,
And scorns the athirst. 

Love defiles,
Sullies there,
Where even you
Fear to finger.
If inflated Pride,
Threatens to embalm,
I choose.
Love rapes and wastes,
Defeats a Deadly Sin.

Shrunken figments.
Quenched.
Does one mourn and accuse?
Or cede?
Or wanting to empty the vessels,
Pour more? 

                                







Details | Free verse | |

Black Sheep

I'm the black sheep
Is that hard to understand
I'm not like you
I,secluded
Excluded from your fun
The sun sets in my realm
It rises when the darkness is too light
Makes sense?
Neither do I 
I riddle you with the words I stumble upon
I ridicule you with my mystic
You come close
I mysteriously slip away
To deep
In your depth
I can not be
This world
Not real
All a dream to me
I'm weird
A little awkward
Not strange or misunderstood 
Mistaken
And taken for granted
Not a butterfly
Still a caterpillar
This black sheep
This beautiful duckling
This lone wolf
I am


Details | Free verse | |

Broken Hearts Club

Broken Hearts Club
 
Fret not, if hearts are wrecked.
I have a unique brew.
Cure for shattered hearts.

Concocted, by spurned love;
and broken hearts.
Words that rent your soul.
And tears shed for love.
Unknown, unseen and unheard.
 
No bats wings, rabbits ears,
human parts or blood.
Years of encounter,
With hurt and misery.
 
Solitude my companion,
Grief my silhouette.
I walked the lonely path.
My youth, reached;
the other shore.
 
A brew so resilient.
That it will mend,
anything broken.
 
I cannot share my brew.
Its exclusively, meant for those,
with broken hearts.
 
If you Join the club of broken hearts.
The membership is free.
And Your entitled for a potion.
……
Sam 2014


Details | Free verse | |

Midnight Memory

Midnight, darkness all around,
As I stare down a lonely, lonely road.

A shadow, a ghost, took me by surprise,
I know my life to him I have owed.

I looked into his haunted, haunted eyes,
And saw the pain as the wind died down.

The shadow moved slowly across the ground,
Outside of the small town.

He said, "Friend, it's good to see you,
It's nice to know you care."

Then the wind picked up and he was gone,
I'm not sure if he was ever really there.

When the wind is right, hear his song,
Feel the pain, the sadness in the air.

When the stars light up the purple sky,
I feel that lonesome chill.

Every night I hear him sing,
And the whistle of a midnight train, and still,

It hurts more and more each time.
My regret is that I never did care,

Until I lost him, lost him in the wind,
But at midnight he's always singing there.


Details | Free verse | |

Isolation Room 19

I am an island within an island
all of my waves transferred inward.
I bounce between my shores
throwing sounds and retrieving feels.
I am my own language, in my own book
phrases long, profound and seeping with drama.
And no, you will not read me well
my text is vibration and out of tune to you.
I am swallowed into a bubble.
I have been this indestructible balloon.
I will float between, above and around,
but I will never be the one touching you.
I am a phoenix among the dinosaurs
I peer across a land of bones, as the ashes all drift down.
I can rise and rise and rise
But will I ever be immortalized?
This is my total abandonment
this is my last will and testament
that I shall be forever alone...
In this death as in this life as in this death.


Details | Free verse | |

EMPTY

When words cannot 
comfort
Cannot say enough to 
express self
Totally drowned deep

What do you do?
Had the situation been 
good it excites,
if not it tortures

What do you do?
A cry can best tell
But to itching ears, no 
meaning

What do you do?
Can best do nothing
Empty

©Kofi Asokwa-Nkansah


Details | Free verse | |

It's Cold In Here

It's cold in here.
Behind my eyes.
So cold that my teeth chatter.
Inside my lips.
It's cold in here.
Underneath my ribs.
Next to my heart.
Where it beats so slowly.
So slowly sometimes I'm afraid it might stop.
It's cold in here.
Where you used to be.
Somewhere in the empty spaces.
That I never knew I had.
Until you were gone.
It's cold in here.


Details | Free verse | |

Song of Love

Do see the wound of love
So deep in my bosom
For none but the pain alone
For me here and there
O the air come down and show the way.

For the Golden Sun
Failed to locate my track
And the mist of gloom
So low to touch the heart
O the air come down and show the way.

For the breeze are in vicinage
And pulling the veils off
From the wounds of love
And letting the dust to eat
The rotten pulse so calmly
O the air come down and show the way.

With whom I share the chill
Of this forlorn heart
The moon of May but laughing at me
The vast vacant of solitude
Knocks at my door hard
O the air come down and show the way.


Details | Free verse | |

Everyday

I see them, everyday,
the hipsters and the fags
in their fancy jackets,
flipping their feminine hands,
nails just cut and short.

I hear them, everyday,
the young girls getting raped 
in the night,
and you cover your ears, 'cause it's none
of your business and you've got work in the morning.

I taste their flesh,
that lay in my bed everyday and night.
I taste their flesh,
those girls under the bed sheets,
shy girls, tired girls.

I can hear the sadness in their voices,
when they see me start for the doors
and my car, in empty bedrooms
and parking lots,
I can hear the tears come
when they tell me not to go.
Everyday, and it hurts.
When I break their hearts with lies,
everyday I feel bad,
when they call me names,
and call me a piece of shit
and an asshole 
and a sick liar,
my ego tells them to keep on going,
my heart slowly dies.

I see them,
those Arab girls
in pink and black head scarfs,
on Ramadan,
Praying to Allah-
and praying that one boy they loved in their past,
comes back to smile with them one more time.

I look in the mirror,
I shave my beard,
smoke a cigarette,
and close my eyes;
thinking about those olive-skinned Arab girls
walking to their BMWs and Mercedes Benz,
but I see that one who calls me a piece of shit,
not because she is mad at me,
but because she loves me.
And that other one,
with the long black hair
and fancy pants,
cries for me,
not because she hates me,
but because she cares.

Everyday, I make the mistake,
of love and death and life
and misreading the fine print,
I go up on stage and act as if I were a fool,
then I wipe of my makeup and kiss them
goodbye.
Never to see their hair,
or reach into their hearts,
to truly pull out emotions
and kiss them goodnight.
I cant,
because I am a coward.
A poet,
with a depression problem,
a liar,
a cheater,
a victim of nothing and everything.

So here I am, don't waste a wink of sleep over me,
I'm not worth it,
no matter what you say,
I can't deal with anything,
I can't see truth because I am blind.
I write and talk in metaphors,
"Just keep smiling," I say.
But they go on their way, live their lives,
and I sit, watch them smile,
watch them go places and smile with loved-ones
and I sit,
alone,
smiling
and happy,
because those things make me happy, everyday.
Everyday I see it,
I hear it,
I taste it,
I love it and hate it.

My heart hurts,
hurts and the pain can never stop for a second of relief.

I don't know anymore,
My friends... I just don't know anymore...


Details | Free verse | |

Dreary All Day Long

You’re so far away
I’m on my own... I am so alone.
You’re the dawn of the day
I’m taking wing on my own... I am so forlorn.
 
Which route should I pick?
When I’m silhouetted in loneliness?
Which road should I drive?
When I’m enclosed in dreariness?  

You've pushed me to the ground
I'm sick of the lack of love...
You're no where to be found...
I'm taking my first flight...like a 
baby, ravishing dove.

Which direction do I turn to? 
When I'm bewildered and scared?
You're the sunset with the hues of 
Red, yellow, orange and blue
I'm dreary all day long - I'm most certainly...
Unprepared. 
And worn-out by the worries of this week
At least I get the evening to myself...
But... I still feel weak...
The bad news that you sent me
Made me feel 
Bleak...


Details | Free verse | |

A Lover's Need

I stood tiptooed
Trying to sweep my thoughts away
When the breeze swept my defiance,
I kissed it farewell
I wonder how they broke my heart
Into bits of pieces, I groaned
I made a vow
Never fall for any
But dote is a need
I want it badly.


Details | Free verse | |

Come Back to Me Now

The grand wind blows as it hums along – 
This dark and grey velvet morning hardly risen.
 A well dressed classy drunk smears her finger across
 The doorman’s lips and whispers, “Don’t tell anyone.”
Stumbling along while someone else curses
 A garbage truck outside stops and reverses -
– beep – beep – beep.

 Standing there in her favorite long coat
 The desk clerk seems to gloat -
 Gloat over every marvelous thing she ever wanted.
 In this, the one day when she is thinner -
 Outside a siren shrieks repeating the tormented,
 Is she a saint or a sinner?

 Finally the quiet idles up there eternal
 Inside her blessed Penthouse suite.
 From her barred window she watches a crosswalk signal
 Still standing in her long winter coat.
 Across the alley she sees someone on a fire escape,
 As they wrap around and escape down the funnel.

 In the serenity of the street below a Cupid like boy 
 Salutes his mother.
 The mother stoops to pat him on his noggin.
 Then mommy makes a sculpture of her packages,
 As the boy salutes again.
 Up there behind her bars the drunk thinks she is different somehow.

 Taking off her coat she opens a book entitled “Value”
Finding a written sentence that ends with “come back to me now.”
She gives the legacy a second look
 And thinks how absolutely - positively - wondrously dear -
 If only she could believe what she read -

 And then she disappears. 


Details | Free verse | |

not so lonely

The big spider, creeping on the wall
Do not hide for i wont harm u
u dont scare me like them
U dont lie nor cheat
u dont blame or accuse me
u dont brag or curse or shout
so be my house mate i dont mind
u on the wall, me in bed
thank u for being a comfort
the room is not so empty tonight


Details | Free verse | |

soul of tears

Why must I be
all alone .
Tears fill my eyes
as friends hang out with their loves.
Am I that ugly
I ask myself alone.
Am I not funny 
do I not make enough
why am I all alone.
Yet no one 
to hold and embrace 
as time roll on by.
Tears in my empty soul
is all I have to hold.
God has someone in mind
and planned when will be
one in heart and soul.
Why do I crave
for that someone
to hold and embrace? 
I have been with ladies 
but all turn aside 
when we say goodnight .
Treat all women 
with honor courtesey
and dignity .
Why am I all alone
with tears in my soul.


Details | Free verse | |

The lonely loner

Oh that lonely loner longs for love
in all the wrong places,
seeking love everywhere
and yet cannot find it anywhere.

Hear him and see his strange behaviors,
as he smiles at the pretty girls passing,
and those bikini models watch him
he smiles,
they laugh and walk on.

Lonely nights alone in search for love
all up and down the streets
and clubs and hotels, all over and over,
he looks,
that lonely loner.

When will he ever learn,
that love comes to those who do not look for it?
Love is a patient girl,
she is not a whore,
who flaunts her goods all over the world,
she is special and she needs patience.

Yet, I fear that lonely loner longing for love
will never, ever learn from his mistakes
and he will never prove to himself
that love will find him soon enough.

.3.15.2014.


Details | Free verse | |

Lonely heart

A lonely heart, torn apart...
Such a distance where should I start. A soul that screams for my love to be redeemed.
Tears and laughter, yes I'm still after the love we share there's nothing to compare. 
Oh the grief just waiting to release all this pinned up energy so the pain won't increase. 
A heart felt moment with so much to show for it. Our little Cherish,only a reflection of 
the man I love .
Knowing he was sent from above just like a white dove.
Holding the key to my heart that was torn apart through the distance of time.
No, I'm  not here to whine cause he is all mine.
But yet I have a lonely heart.


Details | Free verse | |

A Widow's Melancholy

A mood as dark as a winters midnight
Haltingly adrift, she is rudderless 
Bound to a coastal route
As she nears the quay, she cries out
But emits no sound
As strong currents
Guide her soul
To deeper depths
And perils 
Where light has no importance
A salient angle away and afar
She collapses in upon herself, like the Black Hole
Black does not describe its murkiness
She is lost to humanity
 
 


Details | Free verse | |

I Am Alone, I Am Not

I scream frustration and agony into the wind,
The echo bears my very voice in bonded mimic;
Reminding I am not alone.

This constant fear of silently disappearing,
I sob into my pillow, eyes hidden within its feathers;
Reminding me I am not alone.

But this does not satisfy the empty vessel of my lonely soul,
I reach outstretched for your embrace and comfort;
Reminding me I am alone.

Arms becoming heavy and feeling insufficient to hold our bond
Gravity initiates its force, stubbornly I attain our weight trying.
Reminding me I am alone.


Details | Free verse | |

looking for Love

I was advised at home
In the village never roam
Looking  for village girls.
That I will meet girls of class
At the university
 Girls full of beauty
Girls with dignity
And a high level of maturity
Who will love you with sincerity
Those that are learned
Those that are civilized.
Now I am at the university 
Scanning the environment with curiosity
Eager to meet this lady
Who is defined above
If I do not see
I will remain happily single.


Details | Free verse | |

The Captive Heart

Captive of the heart
You are a willing prisoner
You fain the life, a poet's soul
And bristle when love, like writers block
Amplifies the anguish
And tolerates your impotence
Above all, time is not a comfort
It ticks down louder and slower
Until time stops and stills it's beat


Details | Free verse | |

I got some spare change

The lonely man walks.
Surrounded by people.
Surrounded by noise.
The lonely man shakes lonely hands.
Up your nose and down your throat.
I guess that’s just the way it goes.


Details | Free verse | |

Choice And Decision

Sometimes we can't always listen to our heart

At times our intuition may lead the way

They say follow our instincts at all angles

But you also have to piece the puzzle as to what's around you

Yes we have our intentions to think what we want

But actions at many times speak louder than words

For our heart may not always have the answers we're looking for

And there will always be the time to make "A choice and decision"


Details | Free verse | |

rained out beach trip

rained out beach trip
does not matter
gives me time to think
first time alone with the waves crashing
scented seashell to my ear
wishing for a different choice of words
gripping the pendant you gave me on my last birthday....the one with the lips in the middle of a heart
frustrated because i know not why i came here
wanting the pleasure of your company in simplicity
rained out beach trip not helping
life in fragments since you left
feeling like dirt full of disposed chewing gum with dead saliva
tears the only salted experience
tasting the regret while wishing i was not such a 'man'
watching time pass slowly
checking out early
leaving symbols of our tattered, wilted love behind
moving with constipated progress
stubbornness dissipating 
submitting to obviousness
whispering repeatedly....'i miss you'....


Details | Free verse | |

idea of love

every lied thats been kissed upon ur lips 
every broken promises that beens whispered in ur ear 
i know u been hurt been put down before 
but babay its all about to change cause opptuinary is knocking at your door 
 
now i cant promise u the world and i have told you that 
i cant make the troubles run away 
but i can bring some sunshine on those rainy days 
some one to run to when the world turns cold 
 
i guess what i am saying is baby i am here to stay 
all those misfortunes are shades of the past 
all those dumbasess have lost there chance 
to blind to see that your a true romance 
so take my hand this is true really girl  cause baby i <3 you 

 we got this we got the world to face 
you and me will bash away all the hate 
true love will blossom and shine 
all u got to do is say ur mine <3 
 
cause baby what i am saying is i am here to stay 
i will make the mistreatment of those ass holes go away 
they were all blind to see  u were a true romance 
now all they are is just shades of the past 
i will be here thru the test of time 

cause all i can dream and wish is you will be mine 


Details | Free verse | |

The Ugliest

You are a fantastic sufferer, 
A passionate star striker-heightening my tears to happiness
How I wish for merely a moment, that I could forget all my fears
And allow myself to imagine your warm arms around me 
Telling me "Alone you never be in this fight against the maggots"

And I would lay my head against you in peace,
Calmed by your heavenly inhalations
For once knowing, I never fight in the solitary despair of Alone
Reaching peaks of patience, I long to remove memories of the unattainable
Had his green eyes only met my own again...
Yet well I know, the dark intense eyes that see me,
Would admonish and feed me 
With wisdom and excitement far superior than the offerings of kings
That claw my back in lust, and promise impossible things
An obsession far more potent than the wines I never drink

Do not make me cling into the furies of obsession again
Let me know you feel the same
Or else I will lay my head against the rocks,
Cradled by unpredictable seas
Laboring in merciful grief,
I seek the truth
Because whatever the answer, I will always admire you

Leave me alone....
Or Forever be my own

"Demons cry because they know your beauty surpasses the ugliest-- the most glorious."


Details | Free verse | |

Casino


You go to Vegas
or the Riviera of France
in your best James Bond suit,
and the women
in their famous slinky
gowns rub their bare
shoulders against you
as you stand at the
table playing Baccarat.
The dealer has dark
flashy eyes but
doesn't care. You just pass.
You tinkle the ice
in your clear vodka drink.
It's a romantic cold,
a scarey worldly cold
that assumes your self-sufficiency.
You are lonely
but that's how you
are supposed to feel,
how you feel most skillfully.
You win, you lose.
The house takes you.
You try to read
the mind of God.


Details | Free verse | |

I Woke Up

I woke up crying
Maybe because I had a bad dream
Or maybe because I opened my eyes
And you weren't there


Details | Free verse | |

Abusive Love

Cold case lover, how I loved you so!
You always mattered
But, you never believed me!
You were my every desire
You were everything to me!
Looking through your eyes
Jaded with jealousy and envy
You laid your hands upon me
Acting out your emotional
And bitter pain
“Why were you so mean spirited?"
“Who messed with your mind?"
How can you kneel before me, now
Pleading me to forgive you
As, you bawl your eyes out

Your relentless begging
Over and over
You keep playing mind games, with me!
Begging me, for mercy
To come back,
One, last, time...

With my swollen eyes
Broken bones
Twisted up, insides
My heart is torn!
“Are you a dead man walking?"
“Do you not ‘feel’ no more”?
Will I get to see tomorrow’s sunrise
If, I stay another day with you...

Playing Russian roulette with my life
I am terrified, I am petrified!
My eyes are blind
My heart too forgiving!
But, I am not leaving.

“Will I become a cold case murder, one day?"
I wonder...
At the hands, of my own stupidity!
“What will you do on that day, dear lover?"
“Will you lie and be deceitful?"
“Will you hide things?"
Just like, you did from me!

Will, you ‘vow’ devotedly
You did it all in the name of ‘Love?'
Will you brag about
Your ‘bitter, sweet victory?
Open wounds
Bleeding soul
Release me free
From this man’s betrayal!


Details | Free verse | |

A New Reality

A new Reality is created,
When you sit alone.
Whether awake or sedated, 
Your mind will roam.

Suddenly your whole life is a daze.
You can’t see straight,
And you’re constantly in a kind of haze.

Although anyone can attain this anxious state of being,
Many people have decided that,
It’s no fun to be in.

Never spend too long,
Just thinking all alone.
Or you too will be in,
A Reality of your own.


Details | Free verse | |

Dear, Your Ghost

Caressing; A dark, chilly wind
down my spine. Images and woes; 
Depressing; my deathly throes.
In this spin, an icy grip; 
smell of pine.

Creaking; a deep, heavy croak
reaches my ear. Whispers and eyes;
Seeking; a memory dies.
A breath choked, through the mist;
apparent pier.

Approaching; damp, soggy wood
under my feet. Elbows and knees;
Encroaching; thoughts of need.
As I stood, a reaching myth;
we never meet.


Details | Free verse | |

Lonely As Never

Lonely as ever, yet alone, he is never.
Spending every waking hour surrounded by superficialism,
Never reaching the true feeling of existentialism,
But always fringing on the edge of self-absortion in the feelings of regret,
Recognizing the emotional imbalance,
Clearly caused by inabilities;
Over-empathetic
Under-motivated
Underappreciated to a point of hopeless painful feelings of invisibility
Meant only to transcend into the inevitable devotion,
An unjust loyalty to an emotional tsunami,
The wave of feelings crashing into a wall of inner-neglection,
Leading to the ultimate display of True Knowledge,
Masked by the veil of lies and dangerous philosophies,
Under which the dark sorrow within lurks,
Waiting for one to stray too close,
Waiting for one like me.


Details | Free verse | |

Mask Uncovered

Empty she cries
Holding onto the memory
Of everything she lost
She covers her eyes
Not wanting to see 
See the person who took her everything
Caused her life to now rest in ruins where it fell
Shivering, cold
She tried to sell her pain
But no one would take a broken soul


Mask uncovered
She sees the thief
Ice blue eyes stare back at her
Twisted in turmoil her tears fall
Looking in the mirror she sees what she has done
Taken her own soul
Crushed it in two
Her destruction at her own hands
Gave up too early
Now nothing can ever be the same
Lost her happiness
To a foolish thought
She lies there and dies
Cold on the floor
She destroyed herself
And so much more


Details | Free verse | |

Life Sustenance

Parched dried up desert
Allows cactus to grow in lonely spot
Giving life sustaining liquid  

Or Maybe for  true Haiku:

Parched dried desert.
Cactus grows in lonely spot.
Liquid sustenance.

Thank you Raul!!!


Details | Free verse | |

Lonely Awaits

Lonely Awaits

This gathering furl of past
Rising from love’s once moist heart
Now but dry sorrow
Lingering stubbornly
Where once its canvas
Of vibrant color
Rainbowed the future

Today only flaking memories small
Drift downward
Joining queues of bygone erosion
Where emotions of stalwart bedrock
Once held firm

Like aging scree
Time continues biting thin
Moving yesterday’s drifts into exile
Chased by fossiled feelings
Once of molten passion
Now but withering dunes
Aimlessly adrift

This expanse of solitary
Whom death made giant of wind
And small as hourglass sand
Whose Sabbath wore Mary Jane shoes
Waxed each Saturday
Polished to reflective mirrors
Paying homage
To steepled Sunday service

Was made to sit upright
Conscious of ruler at the ready
Reciting the ancient book
Whose guilt-motive stories
Promised good girl suppers
To close out Lonely’s black Sunday

Agonized memories past
Seem ever present
Pain’s last remaining stand
Pleads why ghost towns await
Why deserts only preserve such places
From drifting grit of expired time

Like the sand
Lonely awaits another tomorrow
Fractured
Scattered
Clinging to its impoverished identity

Here I am
Lonely mutters each night
Its head buried in nocturnal safety
Unable to forget its childhood fear
Perhaps never to be vanquished
To always be at the mercy
Of wind and tide
Its dreamt upon cheerful voice
Never being heard

Here I am

Here I am


Details | Free verse | |

yes, tomorrow

Is it the noises around me?
or your silence that paralyzes me so?
but this is temporary u shud know
The sleepy sun told me so
that even he, will be back for me
unless he meets miss cloud on his way
he said i can expect to see him rise.
yes tomorrow.


Details | Free verse | |

Our Friendship...

Do you see what i see?
Do you feel what i feel?
Can you tell me if its really real?

A soft touch and a gentle kiss
A gentlemen with courage and wits

A shy but sweet enchanting miss
scared to love, inexperienced

A lonely quiet day like this,
makes me wonder if love exist

A sea of tears, I cried this evening,
for my mind has told me to stop believing
for love has stopped looking for me

Do you see what I see?

Discovered treasures, from up above
extreme measures, forbidden love

A love for one, A like for another
what is it you see? friends or lovers
Looking for the love, even if it hurts
for bad,good,better or worse

Because life is full of pain, and that's what keeps us living
It keeps us strong, gives us strength to remain standing

Flowers that blossom when watered just right
Is my heart meeting love? for the very first time? 

Forbidden pleasures , stories untold
burning bodies and hindered souls

A gleaming smile that lights the room
blinded to others, for I have noticed you

A relationship, you don't want
but a friendship you'll receive 
So I'm giving you this chance
to discover all that's within me

There is so much more here
just waiting to be found
A gift that keeps on giving, 
so much love to go around

Embraced the lust,discovered jewels
mistaken trust, lonely fools

Could this really happen? a hidden fantasy?
Or could we have a future?
Do you see what I see?

Feeling the way I feel about you
this burning desire that wants one to become two

I opened my heart only once in this life 
but then I met you and that once became twice

You touched me , like no one has touched
in a very long time

When you kissed me, that was the night my light began to shine
not afraid to live, not afraid to be, 
just to live in that moment shared between you and me

The most expensive gift 
I could ever receive,
Was when you told me i was beautiful
And i started to believe

So much pain I often feel 
the hurt and the sorrow became so unreal 
And then I met you...

From  bitter to laughter, from tears to smiles
from compassion to passion and fire to desire

You brought out these feelings
from a very dark place
So much of my emotions are greatly misplaced

Forget me not,for my heart is true
for I know distance,time,and gods grace will carry us through

Because we're friends, I have no doubt
that we will one day figure out, 

If what we share is meant to lead,
to something much more beautifully

Forbidden love 
Broken rules	
Fragrance of passion
Discovered jewels


Details | Free verse | |

Losing My Mind

You broke my young heart apart…take heart…
The scent of death – I smell the odor seeping out of your mouth…
I cover my nose…I’m feeling down, sucking up my emotional debris
Do you even see the tears rolling out of my eyes? 

Pound to the rhythm of my heart…my heart…   (oooh…oooh…x3)

You really think that I’m a weakling? Didn’t you see my triumphantly soar? 
(I don’t feel sorry for you…you attention whore – why were you the one I 
adore?)
I am not a coward and I am not scared of you – you made me love you
I know my heart is breaking bit by bit, but I’m stronger that I was before 
(I’m not sore anymore – I don’t love you anymore…you hurt me to the core, 
but I opened a new door)
I’m through with you…I gave up on you – you made me weep tears of rue

Pound to the rhythm of my heart…my heart…   (oooh…oooh…x3)

I forgot about me…but I forgive after all
I must stand tall, though my heart is pounding in appall 
You deserted me like a pathetic idiot…I don’t wanna make another foe
I’ve been downright fought, for I’ve been distraught and lost; let the 
blessed breeze blow

Pound to the rhythm of my heart…my heart…   (oooh…oooh…x3)

You were my enemy from the start – you were the devil in sheep’s clothing, 
bud (you’re a disgrace…run this race with me and keep pace!)
You were never, ever my friend, so back off – wipe the blood…the blood 
(off your face..you left me without a trace…I’m receiving vast grace)
Do you get the clue? Do you? I tried to find your other shoe, but I’m losing 
my mind

Pound to the rhythm of my heart…my heart…   (oooh…oooh…x3)

Don’t you dare tell me your hideous lies…
I won’t accept your heartless goodbyes…
No wonder I feel blue, sticking to you like glue 
Being with you…fighting the love flue

Pound to the rhythm of my heart…my heart…   (oooh…oooh…x3)


Details | Free verse | |

Diet Coke

She likes the taste of tears in her diet coke

on the sweetest day of defeat

They slide down her cheeks and into

her open can as she sips

Tasting her pain as if it was the first time

knowing it wont be the last

The carbonation almost hides the salty

treat but she knows theyre there

She likes the taste of tears in her diet coke

on the loneliest day of her life

As they slide down her cheeks and into

her open can as she sips

Tasting the loneliness as if it was the first time

knowing it wont be the last

The sugar almost hides the salty

treat but she knows theyre there

She likes the taste of tears in her diet coke

just like a masochist likes pain

And those beautiful smiles she fakes

hides those salty treats

that find theyre way in to her diet coke


Details | Free verse | |

ONLY LONELY ON THE INSIDE

I sit for hours in front 
of a computer screen
reading quotes about 
life and love.

Messages are sent to
Me that I quickly save 
As though I've been 
Embraced with the
Warmest of hugs..

A window to the outside
World is all I ask
Hiding any real emotion 
My hands then take on their 
greatest task.

I don't say much back; 
but thoughts of others on
paper all I'll ever have ....

Only lonely on the inside 
my heart frail as glass....

Hide my face from the world  
so that I can continue wearing the mask....


Details | Free verse | |

The Soldier

I can see, that the sun is hiding it's light today
Through the thick black smoke, I kneel down to pray
The fire went out, that used to burn here in these hands
My brothers gone,  that stood with me on  this land

I could feel the suns warmth, this morning when I woke
I could  see it's orange glow, shining through the smoke
My band of brothers dead, as I'm left here all alone
And this coat I'm wearing, is blood soaked to the bone

I can  feel their eyes staring, as they take command
I can hear them speaking words, that I don't understand
And as I lie here bleeding, in the shadows of this tomb
I'm just another lonely soldier, pleading for his mothers womb

This morning I prayed, that I'd make it home alive
But over in the corner, I felt death trying to arrive
The tortured days are unbearable, here beneath this light
So I close my eyes, somehow that helps me fight

But today they broke my spirits, with a sharp searing pain
I tried to think of home, as I lie bleeding in the mud and rain
Then my mind snapped back, as I felt the steel of a cold sharp blade
Today the torture ended, as my world began to fade

I could  feel their eyes staring, as they  took command
I could hear them speaking words, that I didn't understand
And as I lie there bleeding, in the shadows of that tomb
I was  just another lonely soldier, pleading for his mothers womb


Details | Free verse | |

Lost and Delirious

To love someone
So much
That you'd do anything
Fight,kill,surrender
Betray for just one more
Touch,sight,taste
Crave them now
Tomorrow & further more 
Into the future 
& wen all is gone
You break
Become self destructive
Nothing matters
No person
No thing
No fantasy
No dream
No soul
Just them
Every bone
Flesh & organs
Blood flow,all non existent
Heart couldn't be anymore 
broken
To the point of feeling 
Like you never had one
ANGER DEPRESSION 
SADDENED
GRIEF SORROW
It's all you know
Wishing every second
To have that loved one
Back into your life
But forth cometh not
Self destruct


Details | Free verse | |

Living Near Death

If I died right now who would know
Lingering slowly 
Slowly I would fade
Blackness consumes my conscious 
Sad everyday 
Lonely feels cold
Unreasonably cold and dark 
To feel another breath would create a story
If you could be mine
I would build a sandcastle with you
And live forever in it


Details | Free verse | |

A Mad Gypsying On

i wonder if those cackling coyotes

hiking the surrounding fields sound

anything like Hell, well, i sure hope not.

Hell would be a terrible place to be.

 

still, i feel and fill with remorse.

it’s the middle of November and

it’s ruthless Ohio with her revenge.

with the love of fall beneath her

and the sparkling of frost in her hair,

beginning in the morning under a

fingernail clipped moon and too

far away stars and few headlights,

ohio offers her lullaby here, now.

 

scraggly pups made of fur and bone,

calloused paws to a calloused ground,

tough like old brick and new cement

and an icy pitch bark that bites back.

 

people are being pulled from these

pages that used to keep me wide awake

but now only keep me sad and conscience

in the too broad daylight in clean clothes

reading things too keep me soul sick,

to correlate with groggy afternoon insanity

that is not like tonight’s cold but like a

burning city, with me, standing—waiting

at the pier with the commotion of some

kind of humanity bleeding from the parks,

avenues, alleys, clubs, bars, and markets

but i only see the smoke and hear the clamor.

 

the rest is made up i suppose,

and my heart in the other senses.

 

but it is too true for those

coyotes in that cold and

i dare not let them in.


Details | Free verse | |

Garden

Rugged lean of the wrinkly old geezer
On the roof, nails so dramatically…
Each pound; closer to the facility…
Insipid; says no to the treaty… 
Wife lies, planting seeds to my shredded garden…
Alarmed; incapable of sweating his pardon…
Dog wood waits; resting his weak…
Slip, fall, manifesto perceives…
Dark arrests the lonely geezer on the
Rolls that so dare curse at my garden…


Details | Free verse | |

The grotto

In the dark innards of my grotto,
Demons of failure from yesteryear ever present,
Vultures of self doubt and insecure feelings at the ready, 
Picking at flesh so tired and numb.

A living hell perhaps,
And yet, a haven of seclusion,
A place of refuge against a worse fate:
To face a world of demanding surrender,
Surrender of my few intimate defenses,
Defenses against possible hurt,
Defenses against possible rejection and even scorn,
Defenses against submission of my mind and soul,
Becoming vulnerable in the exposure of my innermost feelings,
Hesitantly peeling off the layers of self protection,
Leaving bare a sense of doubt and insecure offering of my being, 
The fear demon of possible rejection choking me during the small hours of the night,
Lingering close by in daylight too,
Ready to strike at a moment least expected.

And when you hold the mirror for me to see,
I look and I flee,
Running with wild anxiety fueling the legs of my quest:
To reach my grotto and shut the door,
Keeping out the harsh realities of possible loss and failure to bond,
Avoiding the agonizing moment of unavoidable admission:
What we had was but a mirage,
Untouchable and unreal,
A dream,
A fantasy of sorts,
Born of lonely need and longing and yearning for a close union with your mind and soul and body alike,
Wanting to walk with you by my side
On this road called a-life-shared-in-intimate-togetherness-with-you.

No, rather my grotto then,
Where my hopes and dreams can be secreted and kept out of sight,
Until such time that I can muster the energy and will again
To rid myself of the vultures of self doubt and the demons of mistrust,
And hesitantly open the door of my grotto once more,
Hoping to find a ray of sunshine willing to peek in,
Praying that I might just hear you calling my name,
Begging me to leave the dark innards of my self imposed grotto of loneliness,
Whispering words that sound like love.

And I want to believe you with all my heart,
Because I know as well as you do,
If I were to stay holed up in the dark innards of my grotto,
There can be no future,
There can be no hope,
There can be no union.
There will be loneliness,
There will be disappointment,
There will be disillusionment.
The longing will become more painful,
The yearning unbearable,
The desire still bigger.

At the end of the day I promise you:
In my grotto I won't stay.
Bear with me,
Have patience with me,
And if you can,
And if you want,
Please keep on loving me?


Details | Free verse | |

Lack

three hundred and sixty degrees
around me
is blank.
you are nowhere to be found,
therefore I
have nothing left
to surmise about
us.

reaching out
only slights my
equilibrium:
my view of everything else
is now distorted.

no glow shines from the
memories,

nothing else is left
to be lifted
from the disturbances I loved so much.

consistency wasn’t an option;
therefore discrepancy was bound.

let it go
let it be
let it drift away with the wind.

it’s over.


Details | Free verse | |

Loneliness

What is loneliness?
Is it the feeling of rejection or neglect?
Or is it just a feeling of emptiness inside of us?
Will the feeling of loneliness always exist?

Could it be a part of the soul that will always be empty?
Could it be a sense of feeling empty that only exists within your state of mind?
Why do we always feel some kind of loneliness?
Could it be that we’re lonely in some ways because we’re always alone in our thoughts?

Maybe we’re lonely because our lives begin and end alone. 
Where do we go when our lives come to an end?
Do we stay in our empty, lonely graves for an eternity?
Or do we go to our sanctuary or heaven, full of life?

Everyone knows loneliness in one way or another.
The deafening sound of a voice screaming from within,
The fear that when you reach out with trembling fingers, no one will reach back,
An aching fear that you think no one else understands.

How do we cope with it?
Can we fight something we can not see?
Should we sit and wait or reach out and seek a cure?
Will we always be alone?


Details | Free verse | |

Heat

Take my hand in lovers charm
hold me tight squeeze my arm 
Take my heart and spool my yarn
we all know
sweaters are best made with love

Crackle goes the fireplace
a furnace such a lovely place
simmer through that gentle lace
we all know
flames are best made with love

Burning through the room so deep
reflecting from that soul to keep
just take with me that lovers leap
we all know
lovers leaps are best made with love

Smell of burning air abounds
no longer does the ear hear sounds
the cherub makes his nightly rounds
we all know
A cherub is best made with love

Sing to me your gentle song
your voice to me is never wrong
A sweet note I haven't heard in so long
we all know
Notes are best made with love

You have me now in your gaze
I look at you but slight a glaze
My senses gone I'm in a craze 
we all know
Passion..has... its... limits 


Details | Free verse | |

i'll always love you

It’d be so easy for me to say I never loved you
But that would be the biggest lie
Truth is I’ll always love you
I wrote this to say goodbye

The pain is still raw
We only broke up yesterday
I know we said goodbye at the door
But I’m writing this to say everything I didn’t get to say

Some things are hard to say
Especially when it’s over
Your best friend I had to phone her
And tell her to go see you and make sure you were okay

I really hope she did
Even though are relationship died
It’s now our turn to live
Now go and live your life

You were such an important part of my life
And you will be missed
It’ll take time but I’ll be all right
The hardest part was the goodbye kiss

I thought you were the one
Thought we would go all the way
Sometimes you can be strong
But can’t stop fate from having its say

I held you and wiped away all of your tears
I hated seeing you cry
I could say I never loved you
But that would be the biggest lie

The pain still hurts
I wish it would ease
I’m glad we ended on good terms
Even though I didn’t want you to leave

I’m sorry I went so distant
Depression took over me
Can’t believe we broke up 10 days before Christmas
Miss having you close to me

My depression took over and made me feel worthless
And it’s the reason you left
I need help to remove these curses
But now I’m alone and such a mess

All I’ve done since yesterday is cry
And write poetry
I miss looking into your eyes
And having you close to me

The truth is I’ll always love you
If I claimed I didn’t it’d be a lie
All I want is to hug you
Never thought you’d leave my side

Goodbye Zoe
I’ll always love you with all of my heart
I hope you find happiness and everything you’re looking for
Now I need to move on and get over this but don’t know where to start 


Details | Free verse | |

You

The name of you has the sweetest taste rolling out of my mouth,
it tastes like safety and hope,
The smell of you fill my lungs and i can’t get enough,
you smell like a savior, the reason to continue on.

The warmth of you is like a blanket,
it keeps me smiling when the sky is gray,
Your smile is as bright as the sun,
it brings peace when there’s a war in my head.
The thought of you has me smiling,
you give me fluttery butterflies that are escaping.

You are the chill on a fall morning,
you are the first blooming flower in the spring,
you are the sunrise when the night feels like an eternity,
 you are just a friend.

I am a hopeless romantic,
I am in love with the idea of being in love,
mostly i’m in love with the idea of being loved by you.


Details | Free verse | |

Invisible Girl

She plays a twisted game 
Though she knows she'll never win 
Just trying to find her place 
But always hitting a dead end 
Not sure where to turn 
Without getting burned 

She puts on a smile for the world 
Happy and carefree 
Leaving no one to guess 
She doesn't believe 
She's worth anything at all 
So she falls apart in silence 
Letting no one in 
Her scars telling the story she'll 
never give 
It's not attention she seeks 
Just wanting the loneliness to end 

Her smile fades 
She wastes away 
Not wanting to face another day 
Hating herself but she doesn't know 
How important she really is 
always there for everyone else 
Putting them above herself 
Now it's her turn to cry for help 
Will you listen 
Or remain wrapped up in yourself?


Details | Free verse | |

My Perpetual Dreams

As i wake in the morning
I shake off the
Horrors of the
Nights Dreams
That pass through
My mind.

My mind is so full
of memories
And 
Of 
Dreams,
My brain is cramped
And overloaded with
Knowledge.
I have to break free!

My dreams are lucid.
Some dreams are unnatural.
Some are even in the Supernatural
Oracle.

When my dreams finally
Come to a close,
They are so vivid in
My mind.

When I finally wake up,
My dreams are in the past.
The dreams are closely
Drawn together and 
Nearly impossible
To recollect.

In the end
Dreams are just visions.


Details | Free verse | |

Im not living Im existing

Im not living im existing
depressions in my soul
peices of me are fading
my heart,cant take this all.
I dont know where to turn to
struggling to stand up tall
cant stop feeling worthless
broken when i fall..
my heart cant take this sadness
the tears roll down my cheeks
i want to smile again
its been so many weeks.


Details | Free verse | |

Have you

Have you seen the Willow,
crying in the rain?
Someone’s crying in her pillow,
trying to conceal the pain!
Have you seen the rain drops,
falling from the sky?
Bring out all the mops,
to make the tears all dry!
Have you seen the flowers,
wilting in the heat?
She’s using all her inner powers;
this heartache she’s trying to beat.
Have you heard the leaves,
in the wind they rustle?
She’s rolling up her sleeves,
to start this unhappy hustle!
Have you seen the waves,
crashing on the rocks?
Her road she wanted to have paved,
with her lover’s locks.
But as the water goes back to the sea,
she will always be lonely, only just me!


Details | Free verse | |

Unnamed

Love is lost within the world
Anger flares in light of misconceptions
Sadness comes and sees its flag unfurled
Feeding itself on varying perceptions

This poem was written for my by another poet. I thought to finally share it. Check out Syd Floyd for more of his poems. Afraid it has no name.


Details | Free verse | |

Somewhere High

Somewhere high among the moon and stars
   On wings that tremble not
Silent wish doth rush by
   Amid the blackness of the night

Above your sleeping head


Details | Free verse | |

Lauren

Fifteen days and i need to slit my wrists
I didn't ask for much, just to let me know I exist.
I still love you but I don't want to.

Fifteen days counting and I can't wait to slit my wrists!
Why do you pretend you don't know me?

The feelings I keep inside, bottled up from judging eyes. 
How many times have I tried to share them with you?
But I don't want to anymore, I just want it to end, I hate when you hurt me and it's all you've ever done. So Lauren, why do i still love you?


Details | Free verse | |

A Dream of Astral Death

Last night 
I dreamed in poetry
pacing through the streets 
In poured the heavens 
and darkness
I passed a girl walking opposite:
our eyes met but our lips laid sleeping 
I wondered how many times 
in my lonely life
I could have eluded being lonely
by just saying one word to a stranger in passing.

In deep thought, I glanced to the 
sea of heavens, stars, and distance
and witnessed the death of our planet by collision
In such a lonely death, 
I couldn't help but feel empowered.


Details | Free verse | |

Journey's end 2

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." – T.S. Eliot

Time is living me.
More silent than my shadow,
I pass through the loftily covetous multitude.
My name is someone and everyone.

From a desert of loneliness I come,
From a place where solitary and desperate souls dwell
From a land of solitude I come,
From a place where hollow men cry tears of dust
From a sea of sorrows I come,
From a place where remorse and guilt and shame reign
From a mountain of broken dignity I come,
From a place where shreds of lost hope abound
From the quicksands of life I come,
From a place where faith are smothered and sucked under
From the gutter of drunken bliss I come,
From a place where the pain is drowned even for a day.
From a house of loveless anger I come,
From a place where merciless judgement condemned me to hell.
From a world of unforgiveness I come,
From a place where nails of scorn crucified my soul.
From a valley of painful loss I come,
From a place where grief and unfulfilled dreams are shattered glass.

And now I walk slowly.
Like one who come from so far away,
He does not expect to arrive...

And then,
From times long forgotten you come.
From a heart tender and innocent you spoke to me,
From a soul hungry for a mate you waved at me,
From eyes with tears wet you winked at me,
From a body so slight and ever beautiful you invited me,
From a need born from guilty want you called to me:

Stop now, you said
Dream again, you pleaded
Share bountifully, you asked
Believe, believe, you urged
Love once more, you whispered

And I stop to look at you.
And I turn to yesteryear
And I weigh today
And I ponder tomorrow

And I start to walk again.
Slowly.
And I stop again.
And I look again.

Like one who wish with all his heart that this might be it...
That this might just be
Journey's end.


Details | Free verse | |

you went away

Ever since you went away
my world has become dark and grey
i wish that you would come back to me
and save me from certain insanity.

IT hurt so much that we are apart
all i have now is your memory locked away in my heart
come back oh please come back to me
i promise i'll love you till eternity.

MY tears were the rain that fell today
it's been falling ever since you walk away
my days are so lonely the nights are so long
please tell where did i go wrong?


Now there is a voind in my heart to fill
but i don't think it ever will
cause there is no other who compares to you
for me no other will ever do.


Details | Free verse | |

Paranoid Betrayal

I feel a sense of paranoia sinking in,
Without reason, a fear that sinks deeper than the skin.

An anxiety of overwhelming power,
It grows in strength; hour after hour.

Debilitating as a morning after migraine,
The sole difference being that I feel no pain.

This melancholic strife is nothing new to me,
Living under the weight of social dystrophy.

Feeling isolated, feeling lonely, feeling hopeless.
Experiencing emotions of self-apathy and self-loathing.

A pity thought reserved for third world orphans,
Now without merit, has been cast upon mine self.

Desolate and barren,
The future renders bleak.

I've disappeared for years behind a mask of contentment,
Lacking autonomy until acceptance of this internal resentment.

It would be easier to stop. To just end it all,
But I have stayed strong to this point,
For I could never betray my soul.


Details | Free verse | |

Departure

I often wonder whether I told her enough; 
if she actually knew where in my heart her soul sits;  
She was at the top of my heart... 
and in the center.  
She surrounded my left and right brain.
Slept in my subconscious.  
A love that was relentless in what it was good at.  
I felt her when we were in a room together...
or when she was not in the same room.  
I feel her presence even now and can't go on living without her.  
Not properly.  
What would I make of myself without the other half?  
How many people can live a life separated from their brain...?
...their heart...
......their soul......


Details | Free verse | |

Without you

A day without you i am not my self
Lost without your love i feel like i am in hell
Over and over i tell myself it will be okay
Never did i think it would end
Eager to connect with you again


Details | Free verse | |

The Guilty Party

The guilty party just sits there satisfied, 
In the glory of all their stupidity, 
Never stop to suffer 
Along with their own sense of vanity 
And lost sense of pride. 

The no good mob men just dance 
Dangerously on the edge without answering any prayers 
A loaded gun, 
A threat to follow, 
And this is his intuition to be guided. 

The bad man sits there lonely in his lonely cell, 
Wondering if it's a slow burn and how soon it will come to pass 
For him to be released, 
Never crossing the path of the madman, 
The bad man never grieves just the bigger man 
For everything that he has accomplished. 

The clergy are just disappointed and lost 
Fearing that maybe, 
Just maybe they do or do not hold the way, 
Maybe their special keys don't open any doors 
And maybe they open many. 
The priests and the priestess hold their secrets of appraisals and riots 
Of bad men and guilty parties 
And no good mob men stalking miracles with guns. 

The guilty party just stands there satisfied 
Of the damage they have done, 
What was is no more, 
What changes we have forced are now already done 
We'll show them they're thinking, 
Now they'll listen 
One stone at a time 
One life 
One lesson. 


Details | Free verse | |

Strangers

And when the sun came
I saw his eyes
narrow and sharp against
that dazzling light
His lips so rich and firm before
were closed and locked
against my soft caress

Through hotel-grey sheets
where hours before
no-one could touch us
street noises bled
Sated, he stretched and prowled away
to find another
fragile heart to shatter


Details | Free verse | |

Corpse Bride

She was all alone,
Left under the ground,
For many lonely years.
She thought she had found someone.
But he turned out to be her worst fear.
He turned on her,
Like a snake can turn on a person.
He stabbed her in the back,
and stole her very treasure.
Left under the ground,
For many lonely years.
She thinks someone has found her once again.
But what was this?
This man already had a true love?
Once again,
Her heart has shattered.
And she is left under the ground.
To remain lonely for years to come.
Until her true love has come to find her.


Details | Free verse | |

So Alone

So Alone
Feel so lonely
Wish i had that friend to hold onto
So Alone
Feel so cold
Wish I had the flame of hope in me
But So Alone


Details | Free verse | |

A small amount of Chaos

Will the erratic nature of my thoughts never be quelled?
Am I doomed to long for what I do?
Is this the outcome to never having what you want?
If it is...I suppose I should have expected as much
Nay, I knew what would happen
But I chose to accept it
To Endure It
The choice was mine alone
All of Them
For Better or Worse
They were made
I live with them
Being all I can Do
But...perhaps there is a possibility
Although, I know what it is a I am thinking
False Hope to keep my spirits up when they should not be


Details | Free verse | |

Heart wrench

We’re funny, you and I.
By age six, we played together on an island.
Never knowing, never fathoming,
Nine years later we’d meet again – like a message in a bottle.
This time in another country. On another continent.
Though secretly arranged, we fell in love all on our own.
And got scared.  And made mistakes and bad decisions.
And we forgave, time and time again.
You said it yourself – we are star-crossed lovers, you and I.
Oh, we are funny, you and I.

We work so hard and just barely scrape by.
It’s not fair.  And so we’re not fair to each other.

...[removed to fit PoetrySoup character allowance]...

Eight years.  That’s how long we’ve given each other.
And being as young as we are, that’s a third of our lives.
I’m always happy with you, 
Even when you make me so mad I want to throttle you.
Yet, when I asked you, you couldn’t answer.
Couldn’t? Or wouldn’t?
Then you said sometimes.  Then you said many times.
Then you said always.  But you’re not always happy.
I’m a woman.  I know.

My dear, I love you more than words can show.
Once again, you’re off to work. For the whole night this time.
For the darkest and coldest part of the day.
On a day we fought long and hard.
On a day you questioned our direction. Again.
I can’t blame you.
We work like donkeys, you and I.
And what do we have to show for it?

I know you couldn’t stay.  Besides, I’m having less and less to say.
Not because I don’t care.  Because I care too much.
Too much to hurt you again.
Too much to make a wrong move.
I find myself tiptoeing in times like these,
But I don’t mind.  I think of myself as a ballerina.
Because even though I feel disgusting, you tell me I’m beautiful.
You hold me like I’m beautiful. You touch me like I’m beautiful.
You look at me like I’m everything.

I wrote you a little note.
I forgave you.
I promised to never stop working at us,
Although we’ve built the foundation and it feels
You have left me here to build the castle all alone.
Because no matter how many bad decisions,
How many temptations, how many choices,
That I’ve come across these years, my choice has always been you.
You, the love of my life.
I will never love anyone like I love you – this I know.
And it scares me.
And I just want to be held by you.
To hear you tell me you’re here, and always will be.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” you said.
Alone, my heart cried.
Wondering, are you by my side?
I think Maybe.  Just Maybe.
That’s good enough for me.
So, are you?


Details | Free verse | |

Those three words

I lay down to sleep
And am welcomed by your face
I feel myself smiling
And I see you there
With your dark eyes shining
Smiling at me like you always do
I blush and look down 
And you pick up my chin
And my lips are greeted by yours 
My body is instantly warm
You filled me with life
I never thought anything could be this perfect
And I lay my head against your chest
And listen to your heart beat
I close my eyes
As you run your hands through my hair
And I swear no moment could compare
But then I hear you whisper softly
I love you
And Then I awaken 
And remember that none of it was true
But I go on living 
And remember the dream of you
Every time I see your smile
And just hope one day
You’ll say those three words


Details | Free verse | |

Eagle In The Window

The illusion of hope hangs bitterly above bedside, 
Cheek ever gently flattened upon windowsill, 
In hopes cool transparency mirrors density, 
So that I may take flight into night air on wings of an eagle. 
Or enter the kingdom of the gods by way of broken wing.

The sky holds no stars, or clouds, and offers no luminescence. 
Soul guided only by nature's intuition, 
Cast into the abyss of bright city lights.

But this window mirrors not its density, 
Yet another night laid by windowsill, 
Yet another night my soul's eagle heart shan't take flight.


Details | Free verse | |

Alone time

It's not wrong to be alone
Sometimes you need a break from the world
A change of pace
A different vibe

Solitude is nice
If feels good to be engulfed in your own mind
Without the influence of others

Alone isn't lonely
You are your friend
The one friend that will never turn on you

Quiet is the loudest you can be
Emotions screaming
Being heard only when alone

That time is special
Near extinct
Everyone WANTS a someone
Not what they need

You need quiet
You need you
To not go insane
To not change



Details | Free verse | |

From Book to Reality

When you finally get the chance to pull your nose from that ingenious book you've been wrapped into,
Reaching back toward the surface which is your own life.
You feel alone.
You've been living in a shell and on the outside it’s just cold, emptiness.
Is something missing from your life that makes you feel this way?
You live inside the mind of others for hours at a time that when you get to hear yourself again, 
You hear nothing.
The voices that are the characters of the stories you play in your head, aren’t real, 
Yet you get this increasingly large sense like they are you. 
They are your life.
They are just tiny fragments of who you are,
Or perhaps, who you want to be.
Pieces of parts of you never show.
Your true life is nothing like their’s, it’s more simple really. 
Or maybe it’s better.
The absence of yourself in these moments of pure clarity make the world seem too big.
Can’t you just live inside these dimensions you create in your mind?
Can’t you take a step from what’s real and get the chance to feel whole?
We all have places we go when we feel as if the universe is expanding around us. 
We all have these beautiful places we hide. 
We sometimes remain in small boxes for our whole lives because getting a chance to bud is terrifying. 
When you step into a book, the world grows just enough that it feels just right. 
You become someone else in these times.
Someone better,
Someone greater,
Someone brighter.
For once, you feel home.
Then you finish the story that’s been reciting in your head and you feel lonely again. 
How can imaginary people make us feel so complete?
Something must definitely be missing. 
Some of the most painful moments are from book to reality.


Details | Free verse | |

2-Wing

Jessica McDonald wrote a new note: "TWO-W WING".
June 28, 2010 at 4:09pm · 
WOndering if there is a furture for her and the green eye cowboy. Seatting in the Two-W Wing of the library by herself. Remembering all that has happened to her in that place. All the bad 
memories. for her; hurting her looking out the window at all the people passing by the library lions. 
Jumps off the window seal leaving that wing not looking back. 
Leaving all the bad memories behind her in Two-W.


Details | Free verse | |

unentitled

inexhaustible days and nights
always solitary
forever despondent 
incessantly wretched
countless years have passed 
nothing changes
older but no wiser
still making mistakes
taking missteps
confused, baffled, sometimes bamboozled
has smiled, laughed and pretended 
to be all right 
no one looks real close 
no one sees that she is 
continually fighting back the tears
never knowing why, but always constant
relentless unwavering sorrow


Details | Free verse | |

Watching Lonesome Holiday People

Always seeing them no matter where I go,
Expressions same as one seen every morning in my mirror.
Some missing those lost while others hope for just anyone,
That sorrow unable to hide even behind brightest smile.

Standing in midst of millions yet still feeling alone,
Maybe this is that hell that so many mortals fear.
To die then waken forever to be all by one's self,
Would that not be greatest punishment one could endure?

Commercial Santa cheering child mortals with unreal dreams,
Another lie which does not prepare them for adulthood.
To wash young brains so clean and then bury them,
Only to see them rise like Lazarus into carbon copy parents.

In that end one has simply fooled with their own fool,
Isolated within a being which is always in denial.
To grasp that one comes in alone and then leaves alone,
This is most magnificent truth to ready one for eternity.

Copyright © 2014 Robert William Gruhn - All Rights Reserved

"A poem to me is the essence of any thought,
Being built from its foundation into tower scraping sky.
It can fly like no other bird to places never seen,
Even spaceships can only dream of taking its place."

© 2014 Robert William Gruhn


Details | Free verse | |

Alone

Alone
Is a sad little word. A reminder of how it feels To be isolated, To be trapped by An expanse of empty space, Left without friends Like a word on a page.


Details | Free verse | |

Stay

It has ended
My very heart has stopped
My soul is mute
Lost its strength to scream
Took it all away
My hope and my dreams
Treated me like trash
But for you
I would beg for on my knees
There is nothing left for me now
It has all gone away
I know understand those who say
They do not want to live another day
You are my everything
All that I ever had
Now you rip yourself away
And I have nothing left to say
I wish you could see my eyes
I wish you could feel my pain
Just for you to understand
That every fiber of my being
Is begging you to stay 


Details | Free verse | |

Such a lonely man




Such a lonely man

Written By Dean Masciarelli

November 25, 2009 (6:43pm)

Another year is almost gone

And it is just so hard to imagine

That I have spent most of it 
all on my own without having 
anyone else around

I just hope and pray 

That the good Lord may 
have someone in mind

Who truly wants to be loved
as much as I do in return

Because if I don’t find 
someone really soon

I will end up dying

Way before my time 

From being such a lonely man


Details | Free verse | |

I Journey Through From Yonder's Night

 I journey through from yonder's night
Where dreams persist in fluent sound
Inscriptions upon the wandered soul
The right to live, a desire to fly
Yet to the ground I walk upon
The soul of encumbrance and vacant sight.
~
   The immaculate traveler
On the path of shattered lucidity
Holding off the kiss of enraptured oblivion
Vertigo frustrations complete the sight
Of purple grazed moonlight
Driven into the desperate twilight of lonely abandon
~
   Burning thought into the mind, deception
Impasse to the night of bliss
The fortitudes of life lay in waste
Charred within the silent servitude of man
Breaking down within the conceptual madness
Secrets in a world of desire
~
   I am  the song  flowing within the whisper
Exotic to the breeze, touched by the sun 
Forever entwined to the melody of life
The lonely soul with the abstract smile
A taciturn traveler which follows the stream
Searching for  a tear to cry.
~
By: Darren J McMurray
       April 2, 2009


Details | Free verse | |

Signed, Wall

I admire you. I have for a long time.
You see me every day, but you do not look at me,
Unless I have something on my face,
Or if you want me to hold something up,
Or if you want to take something from me.
I would call you selfish if you'd talk to me.
But you never do unless you're angry.

I can't complain. This is my job,
To hold things for you, to protect you.
To give you a roof over your head.
I would appreciate a thanks,
Every once in a while, at least.
Or even a friendly hello.

I see you every day and every night.
I watch you as you eat and sleep,
As you live a life I could never have.
I wish you would talk to me, but you won't.
You'd be crazy if you did.
I must face the cold facts and harsh reality.

In spite of all I do for you,
And all the abuse and neglect I suffer,
You would never care about what I feel or think.
Were I not rooted to the ground, I would leave,
But I am stuck here. Working in the background.
Working for you.


Details | Free verse | |

Old For the New

Separated by thousands of miles but still like glue
It’s always been me and you; best friends
As others grew apart from me, we only grew closer
A bond severed, tied up, resevered again
I thought of writing to you, in e-mail or through pen
Words on paper mean something
Words in the air are meaningless
Every word that I wrote to you, “I mean this”
All the days I miss you can’t be bought
I will not forget the times we cried
Not seeing each other, and wishing I’d die
Missing you, I’d tell people, “Missing who?”
Stranded in a place where I do not relate
A place I do not tolerate, 
A place I cannot restrain myself from hating
Forced here by things beyond my control
From a place that I loved
A place that I belonged to
A place I put my heart into
I traded mountains, for plains
Grass, for weeds
Trees, for plateaus
People I love, for people I loathe
Pros and cons measured on an unbalanced scale
Forced to vote for the new when I loved the old
Where were they when I needed help?
Nowhere
Where were you when I needed you? 
With me
Separated by thousands of miles but still like glue


Details | Free verse | |

Walking down that lonely road



Walking down that lonely road

Written By Dean Masciarelli

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


Walking down that lonely road

Without having someone to hold 

That can make you feel loved 

And wanted and needed gets really old

Because all you’ve 
ever 
wanted from anyone

Is to be loved and appreciated by one person

But after your heart has truly been broken

There is a part of you that is naturally afraid 

That there may be a chance 
that you will get hurt again

When you finally do find someone new to love

Walking down that lonely road

Without having someone to hold 

That can make you feel loved 

And wanted and needed gets really old




Details | Free verse | |

Emptiness

screaming from the inside cause i feel myself physically burning cause this pain is whats really hurting i wanna be free away from all the hurting i feel i have no one closed in an empty room no one hears me crying nothing to do but sit here and pretend to be happy when i know i'm really stressing feel like a stray puppy at times cause no one or anyone to call my family i deal with a lot but can anybody see me struggling i walk around with a mind so strong i can feel myself tipping tipping over with all my feelings trapped in a bottle til it gets filled to the ceiling i sit and wonder can anyone's thoughts compare to how i'm feeling everyone sees but don't understand that me i am an emotional wreck ship crashed and broken into pieces someone please save this mess .


Details | Free verse | |

Maybe

Maybe I have nothing left to say,
Except goodbye.
These battle scars hurt so bad,
Yet all they are are nothing,
You don't know, you never knew,
You kept on walking…away.

Maybe I'm done, maybe I'm through,
Turn around and say something,
I dare you to.
My heart's turned to stone, 
But my ears are listening.

Maybe it will all be ok,
I don't need you anyways,
But please come back, don't leave me here,
You've moved on long before I met you,
Good, maybe I'm glad to have nothing for once.


Details | Free verse | |

FUTURE

FUTURE

Legacy with my past is still with me, 
deep inside where no one can see. 
When I’m alone I get troublesome thoughts 
of events that have turned to dust, real in my mind’s eye.
Is she correct? Thinking that I over complicate 
things and use my problems as an identity? 
I try to forget the past to move onto my future 
but does my future need me?


Details | Free verse | |

The Solitary Man

I see you creeping in the night
Ephemeral spirit that haunts my darkness
And lurks within my shadow
A silent whisper in my ear 
Cast your lot with me,
And see the riches I will adorn thee with

I see you skulking in the morning light
Ephemeral spirit that haunts my day
It’s harder to see you in the blackness of my shadow
But I can hear your distant whisper
Join my legions,
And enjoy the camaraderie of kindred spirits

I tell you, I am but a solitary man
Capable of withstanding the allure
My rewards will come through enlightenment
And not from a whisper


Details | Free verse | |

My Desktop

Aug 2012
Chennai

From freshly showered wet,
to uncontrollable mess,
I need a hair tying thing

From oh such a jolly morning,
to what have I become,
Where have I come,

You keep staring at me



Under the silk bandana
above the red muffler
Soft pink lips, glowing skin

With that faint sad smile
the lack of sparkle in your eyes
Tired of me, still tied

You keep staring at me




Across the distance
From West Coast USA
to East Coast India

Across the time
Good to worse
Then to now

You keep staring at me


And I can barely meet your eyes


Details | Free verse | |

This is a Dedication to my Father

A father that who was never there that I cried lonely tears of missing a man that 
didn’t even want me that a man threw me on streets in the rain or a shadow and 
left me that he didn’t even know me or understand me born into a world full of 
confusion pain and lonely tears wonder why a man that I wanted to be like so 
much didn’t even want me that it seemed like everybody had a father around me 
except me that my mother was trying so hard to be that father figure that the 
words she was speaking wouldn’t even come to me that I was in streets hustle 
looking for a father figure to but life in me that the person that I really love went to 
the pearly gates and left me 

Because on my block most of the boys didn’t have a father and they father didn’t 
have a father so they on the block hustling rocks selling them to there own 
mother  that the street life was the only life for me that my mother cried lonely 
nights wonder if I am going to walk threw the door that night or scared she might 
see me on channel ten news that night  I wonder night after night what did I do 
blaming myself for things that my mother went threw crying myself to sleep 
asking god to just pray for me never understood why a man said he loved but 
never was there that man would call me and say I am going to pick you up and 
never show up

That my friends never had a father so they slapped there females around and 
beat them for no reason but they had reason why because they never had that 
father to show them how to love there female and not beat on them that growing 
up seeing your mother beening slapped around knowing you cant do nothing 
about it thats a struggle 


Details | Free verse | |

For Spite

Of fair love I dreamed
Of true love I received-
What rose could be
So sweet?

But now my heart grieves
For the love far from me-
What thorn could be
So spiteful?


Details | Free verse | |

good guys get left behind

I’m not a rapper or footballer so I don’t stand a chance with her
She’d rather chase the guy who ignores her
Ignore the guy who wants to hold hands with her
Good guys bore her

She’ll claim she doesn’t know where good guys live
Funny thing is a “good guy” is basically what she says her type is
She knows she’s the playa’s side chick
While I’m sat alone thinking how do I stop feeling like this?

Screaming at the mirror I need to leave it
He doesn’t care about her but he’s who she wants to be with
I’m the good guy but I’ll never be enough
No blowjob but love sucks

If I ignored her and treated her awfully
I’d have her in a second and she’d start adoring me
But that’s not me
When he breaks your heart just know you have no longer got me

I can feel my heart breaking
I was chasing her, while she was chasing a guy who had 3 other girls he was chasing
If it didn’t involve me I’d find this funny in my mind
But I guess good guys get left behind 


Details | Free verse | |

Xanadu

Trapped in Xanadu 
An empty castle
A lonely existence
That is a constant reminder
Of your anorexic heart
That’s starving for love
Dying to belong
Yet, fitting in nowhere
Living without purpose
An empty shell
Depleting the world of it’s oxygen
Unable to contribute because
Something is missing inside you

Your blackened corridor
Just a self loathing punishment for the sadistic masochist 
That hides in his box to avoid self discovery
Your well of happiness will always run dry
Peering outside 
Watching the twinkle in the eyes of the soul mates
Knowing you will never experience the beauty of true love
But, failing to comprehend the reason why
Hearing the sweet, innocent laughter of children
That you will never have because you’re
Too narcissistic to love unselfishly
Looking for fulfillment in places 
Where you will never find it
Loveless, a lonely road 
On which you have chosen to travel
In which you will draw your last breath alone
Without your Susan Alexander Kane to hold your hand


Details | Free verse | |

All You'll Find

Late night ramblings and rants
Words yanked from the deepest depths,
Outer hemispheres of my subconscious mind
That’s all I write, that’s All You’ll Find

I don’t know what I want, not even a clue
A boring life
A love-starved heart
Just waiting for you

The writing serving as a filter
For all my feelings to spill
With anyone who cares to listen
Because no one else will

No shaping or revising ever takes place
In these verses and rhymes
Simply my imagination
Of an imaginary face

With no one to love I feel I could die
And so much true love I want to give
The everlasting feeling of pain
Reminding me I’m alive

Late night ramblings and rants
Words yanked from the deepest depths,
Outer hemispheres of my subconscious mind
That’s all I write, that’s All You’ll Find


Details | Free verse | |

Sequestration of the Soul

The dew has been banished from the grass
And the pups taken from the teet.

A drunk is lacking hard drink. 

Like a television without a picture tube
Longing stares itself in the mirror, feeling, but
Denying its very existence while arrogance

Wants to scream from within.


Details | Free verse | |

Time to Make a Change

Time to Make a Change

You have chosen a path that can not be completed 
There is no end to that road it consistently takes you through the same things
Heartache for your kids
Stress attics become your parents
Hatred builds in your friends 
Alienated by your peers
Shun by your family
Aggressive thinking brings confusion to your brain
The pain overwhelms your senses and put you in a lonely box
Having a personality that pushes everyone away
Selfless thinking is not your way
Pushed off into a lonely existence and wondering later why your by yourself
Take a look back and see what got you to where your at
A beautiful face and magnificent body
But your attitude makes you ugly to everybody
Looking back at it you gave your kids the heartache they feel 
You instilled the hatred in your friends
You alienated your peers
Come to think about it you were the one who shunned your family 
Why keep pushing the ones who care away
Seems simple enough to say
But speaking from experience it’s not that easy to put it away and let go
I know your still haunted by the demons of your past 
But you have to stand strong and remember what’s in the best interest of you FAMILY!!!
DEDICATED TO MY MICHEAL Y., HOPE YOU DO THE RIGHT THING
WE MISS AND LOVE YOU!!!
Written by: wilfordjy


Details | Free verse | |

SURPRISES

Surprises

La bouche mousse
Le cœur s’émoustille
Ce qui est long
Paraît interminable
Ce qui est prêt
Devient inaccessible
Comme la vie est pleine
De surprises!
Et qui sait de quoi 
Demain sera fait. Sire !

Mars 2012

in DES CADENCES ET DÉCADENCES
my poems in French


Details | Free verse | |

Hemlock

all but one lonely soul
hangs from limbs of tired trees
in a dense forests of hearts, 
and endless flow of blood through leaves.
under one sky, 
under one moon; 
a canopy of hope 
set atop a floor of dreary dead, 
laid to rest in a damp field of dirt
walked upon by careless feet.
hollowed eyes stop and gaze
to see, 
endlessly; 
a sea of worried beasts
stomping through a muddy path.
and through the weeds
a breeze shall breath
a quiet call, 
and put to sleep
a lonely me.


Details | Free verse | |

A Fools Folly

                                 Tears falling like rain ,
                       could never wash away this pain,
                            So cry no more , will I for you ,
                       In lonely nights , when I am blue.
                       On bitter memeories , I am keeping ,
                      tis time to end , this endless weeping.
                           In nights of tormented unrest , 
                      no comfort found in dreams , or sleeping.
                             In the lonely days as I reminiss,
                           alas , amongst such melancholy , 
                                      and thoughts , I know ,  
                                       are only A fools folly .

                  Heartache and loss , longinging , so unbearable ,
                  though remorse , was never given , to being charitable.
                           Regrettably , I face the daunting facts ,
                           I must go on , no turning back ,
                           To find a new life , a new love ,
                              such are the treasures , that I lack .

                        A poor man , but wiser , knowing not the future ,
                                          or what I may find,

                              Wishing only for someone to love ,
                                              and to be kind.


                                           Clement Hardy
           


Details | Free verse |