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Free Verse Hate Poems | Free Verse Poems About Hate

These Free Verse Hate poems are examples of Free Verse poems about Hate. These are the best examples of Free Verse Hate poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse | |

Remains

Revenge sweet turning with hate
a brother rises striking blows 
landing hits brother in wicked deeds 
evilness within mans own soul

Cruelty crawling inside desires 
suffering greed of nations they plea 
Rise up against nations man at war 
tearing asunder God's creation 
People slowly murdering loveless

Pride a sinful act of violence 
laced with pain destroying pure love 
everything that once stood out housed peace
so fine cut beautiful, good sharing 
caring  free, in this one, big show rolls 

Keeps turning, the wheel of hope 
whom will speak, as we all become part 
of his heavenly dust in the end 
or  burning remains of hell's fire


Details | Free verse | |

9 11

                                    
                                                               
                             America the Free  ~             America the Brave ~
                           Freedom with price              Capitalism attacked
                            the many taken                   hearts broken still
                              one World                           try to rebuild
                            sadness and tears               fall hard with fears  
                            guilt by association             many accused still
                             souls evaporated                shattered dreams 
                            tears fall on innocence          left with anger 
                             The proud fearless             knew the inevitable
                              policeman fireman             many lives lost
                            grieving does not stop           12 years later    
                               New York city once          proud  & shameless 
                             refusing to let fears in          protecting ours 
                                left in shock still              question's unanswered                    
                               nothing learned                     nothing gained  
                                ready to attack                   many left behind
                              anger greets denial              anger meets rage 
                               unacceptable still                 refusing new love 
                            wanting days to rewind           let us go back in time 
                              acceptance  allowing           the victims leave in peace
                              the brave taken young           leaving us sadly old
                               haunting dreams                     lost spirits dwell
                               no answers to hate            never forgetting that day
                               Evil entered suddenly              unforgiving fate
                                entering our City                we stand with the fallen
                                 How to fix                            how do we Change 




           
            This can be read many different ways ~ This is a poem I am so proud to write ~









          


Details | Free verse | |

YOU

YOU

Your 
Uncaring eyes
Push me 
Repulsively 
Braise me down to a pit of abysmal. 
Your balance ego 
Keeps me on the void
Tainting my walls
While I, 
Twitch
Bitter 
Words 
Of yuck
Behind your back.

~SKAT~


Details | Free verse | |

The Many Faces Of God

Many faces of God
reflected in the eyes of shadow and light- 
windows into the cosmos,
doorways leading somewhere larger.

So large, it fits on the head of a pin,
piercing the palm of an innocent whim;
piercing secrets falling in the rain,
as encoded mysteries become plain.

Pain is pleasure,
far better than nothing?
Nothing is always something,
so something can be nothing,
a place where the lords of light and darkness
spin positivity into negativity,
and negativity blossoms into another rising sun,
breaking through storm clouds
that had been releasing loud thunderclaps
in a vacuum of silence.

Can see the genesis bloom in your eyes,
can see the full moon waver and rise,
even though I am blind,
following the muse of my heart,
realizing how this is only a part,
a mere fraction of the many faces of God.

The blink of a lash
causes a valley of shadows.
Minions of shadows push me into the light,
as a quick left turn, makes this feel so right.

The deeper I walk,
my wants become more shallow,
and precepts contain concepts,
a mind-boggling paradox of steps-
a staircase leading nowhere,
as nowhere must also be somewhere;
a place where the journey is just starting to end,
and ending to begin all over again,
to become unravelled within the many faces of God.

Lose your philosophy to find the way,
shadows dance beside a glowing ray.
A straight beam moves into faster bends,
love counters hate and makes amends,
as hate showed me how to truly love.
Stop with the illusion of endings,
find them to merely be new beginnings;
saying farewell with a kind hello,
digging ever deeper below,
breaking the surface high above,
a blind man seeing the face of love.


Details | Free verse | |

The Good Cry

A final ugly bellow followed by the front door's slam and then. . .
the natural and sweet respite of silence. 
She remained where he'd left her 
and faced a pair of stony eyes staring back at her from the bathroom mirror. 
Stoically she stood, anger-fingers pressed to the inside of the basin's rim.
A gall of indignation clutched at the inside of her throat.
Her whispered curses waxed into a scream, "I hate you. You bastard. I Hate You!"

Moments later. . . sad, kindred eyes met hers, 
asking what they always asked, "How do you support this all these years?" 
She gazed at the only one who truly knew and felt a rush of utter desolation. 
Concentrated rage was channeled to a river of self-pity.
It spilled up and into the bile of her throat, erupting in her helpless gasps,
transforming into hard and bitter sobs,
and with this lament came gushing tears. 
Nothing else existed but the woman in the mirror and the grief.

Some moments passed. She sniffled.
Further weeping now would take some effort. 
She sighed the sigh of familiar resignation. 
Glancing at her consort, red-eyed, in the mirror,
she turned the faucet on and dabbed a tear-streaked face. 
The telephone was ringing, so as she went to get the phone, 
she steeled herself 
in case the flood had not entirely ebbed. 


Details | Free verse | |

Masked Men

Masked Men

Look in the mirror
Look in the mirror
What do you see?
Masked men staring back at me
What do you do when you look in the mirror?
Only to despise what you see
The pain you caused the everlasting memories
Do you see what you've done?
Can you live with what you caused?

Go now down your distant path
Your unworthy happiness will never last
These are things the Masked Men Cause
Who’s to say your right or wrong?
Misguided emotions lead you down this path
Masked Men mistakes will surly last
Go now the time has come
No more chances the Masked Men are done
Turn away and feel the pain

The lonely walk to enter slumber
The Masked Men Smile with pleasures unknown
Another one down
A broken spirit lost
Close your eyes and take his hand
Let the Masked Men take you away

By: Tim Lundmark


Details | Free verse | |

Reality Fairytales

If you don't want me,
Then quit wasting your time,
I'm not your plaything,
Better yet, quit wasting mine.
I hate the way you make me feel,
I hate the way you make this so real,
Why can't we just live in a fairy tale.


Details | Free verse | |

Dementia

He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
Tough.
Independent.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died, 
he has not been the same.
Sad
Lonely
Empty.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
Mind slipping, 
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it, 
until now...
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain, 
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Oh well...
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best, 
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows 
what happens next.
Sedation
Medication
Anger
Hurt
All results of
dementia


Details | Free verse | |

Moments In Time

The sweetest sounds of burning trees
A gentle stroking in the breeze
The calm has lasted past the storm
Cloudy visions, Satan’s roar
Too many sights have passed my way
A time found only in the haze
The softest screams are running bare
My aching bones creak as I stare

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark

The battle’s started at the end
No one is coming to repent
The sinners grab their wine from prey
No judgment calling here to stay
The sport is reckless to be told
The one is laughing at his souls
It falters nowhere to be sure
The power grows forevermore
Like a spirit in the wind
I have no say in where you’ve been 
But cross the line to come to me
And pay the price for ecstasy

You walk a distance towards me
The fall’s eternal, can’t you see?
I’m a memory in your heart
I whisper to you in the dark. 


Details | Free verse | |

It Can't Be Real

A truth in rage of insult furrows my mind
For it is only an offense given to me by myself
In the mouths of others far innocent than I
I feel the tears trickle down my cheeks
For I have surfaced into an ugly mistake
I am always inadequate in this brain
I try to shine like the advice of grace given
But confidence rarely rears its head my way
There’s a sort of shade blocking its way
A shade that darkens everyday

That very shade led me to believe my feelings are wrong
That I will never belong so long as they are not controlled
I must be careful—for the lines of love and lust run cold
I hate myself truly this night
And no one but myself will give me the right
The very right to degrade my every being
Because you are not seeing what I am seeing

There is no point
My lines run cold
Can I be so bold as to say
I still love with a pang of indistinguishable doubt 
All feelings enter in
As my truth blurs and checks out

Your words pierce me so deep
I cannot describe the pain I feel
God it hurts so bad
It can’t be real

Much like the love I have come to embrace
The very love that links to your face
Tears don’t give it justice

It can’t be real
Much like the love I will never face


Details | Free verse | |

I'm Your King

A burst of white light gamma rays, overbearing a flash of brilliance burns through to my soul everything is like hell the world starts to melt in the blink of an eye just the cold blackness of night I don't care if I am not again what I once was, for at this moment I am greater now than ever before I took the path between teetering, tight roping walking right up to my right divined in my unholy state I thought I told you I am your king still you sit there, hesitating I know you hate me what does that mean? I hate just about everything still I'm chosen I did not wish before now bow down to me refuse me no more for I shall always be your demon until you accept me as your King. I don't even know you though you say we used to be best of friends, you and me the day you ditched me I remember now exactly how it played out back when we were just tiny things even back then I still was King you thought me stupid just a ruse I would laugh inside, you see? not one of you single, mean people ever even knew me in a world, mostly seen to me that is why only I can be your true King and bring forth a new source of light everlasting. As two worlds collide slowly aligned one wrapped in shadows one bathed in white evils swirling in the clouds above I'll always be the king you love to hate or despise as in your blood I thought I told you, I am the one I am the way, the way out shall be shown breathe in my spirit as it carries you away breathe in my faith it shall carry your empty space and deposit you gently on a cloud just enough higher than you've ever dreamed of for I am king now, and your in my hell your in my imagination, I'll just never tell you'll feel as though dreaming, you'll feel now if you try and see you were always found the most shared in the light cast upon me the last bright star in heaven. Denounce my name, if you may One year later, still not afraid A black sheep, a darkened spade That's just life, I'm not right I'm in the wrong, follow along Like a piper, I'll pitch a song Mesmerized, the weak wills sing I thought he told you, he's still our king.


Details | Free verse | |

Don't Judge Me for Existing

Why do you give me a hard look from your face?
that you don't like what you see?
that I'm from a different race?

Why can't we see eye to eye?
why do I disgust you,
like you don't wanna be near me
would you please tell me?
tell me why you hate me?

Do you hate me because of the color of my skin?
like I'm a disease?
you don't think I have desires?
that I have needs?

We aren't from the same race,
but by soul,
we live in the same world.
You may think I'm nothing,
just push me into the mud,
knowing we both have the same colored blood.
You can't judge me by my appearance,
or by my race,
or even the color on my face.
Say what you want to say,
you can't judge me,
for I didn't choose to exist in the first place.


Details | Free verse | |

It Must be Hard

It must be hard
To carry it around
That load of hate
Weighing on your heart
A powder keg
Waiting to explode

You pretend it isn’t there
But now and again it shows
In what you say
In what you write
The sarcasm hidden under the sweet
The hate clothed in happy
And yet….
It’s there
For the discerning to see

It must be hard
To have it eat away at you
And not be able to voice
All those words
That are begging to be heard
Dying to hit the mark
And be set free

It must be hard to keep them locked away
For fear of criticism
Of “losing face”
And yet….
They gnaw away at your being
Words begging for release
For those inferior
Made of fluff
Not substantial
Not up to par
Mediocre
Weak
Sniveling
Sappy
Sorry
Excuses of human beings

How hard it must be
How it must hurt to be civil
Pretend to be kind
Thinking others are blind
To the real motives behind
Your words…..

Ah…if only you’d realize
The only one hurting
The only one who is weak
Is you
To love takes strength
To forgive takes power
To rejoice with others takes integrity
The finer qualities
To hate is easy
To love near impossible
Hate would dissipate
If you took some time to realize
The person who irks you
Who just rubs you the wrong way
Maybe has been rubbed in molestation
Maybe has been struck down with abuse
Perhaps has been used
Emotional abuse
Sexual abuse
Verbal abuse
Physical abuse
Insecurity
Feelings of inferiority
He has hidden baggage too
Behind his false bravado
A heart that is in pain
Much like you
His brokenness plain
Put away hate
It’s not too late
To look inside
The one you despise
And see
A reflection of YOU!

Eileen M G

I leave you with two fantastic poems: William Blake (A Poison Tree) and Stephen Crane (The Heart).

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I watered it in fears,
Night and morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright.
And my foe beheld it shine.
And he knew that it was mine,

And into my garden stole
When the night had veiled the pole;
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.
 
William Blake

The hater suffers most (EG)

In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter - bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."


Details | Free verse | |

Mystery guy

          Dreams and memories of what could have been,The past means nothing to me 
and then everything at the same time. 

It's made me who I am, and i'm glad I know but if I could change the past would I be so 
quick to do so? I want to have it all but the future never whispers not even a little bit 
I want to know it's secrets.

 I am left in the dark about what and where I will be the future no tears that promise 
pain so I don't know if I will get hurt. 

It's just that I can't help thinking about you and how different I would probably be if 
you knew that one secret that I held so close to me for so long that when it was time it 
was too late.

 I may spend eternity looking for someone exactly like you, it's because my conscience 
will never let me forget how good a person you were.
 
I was so deep into you that i'd lose myself in the moment and I have never felt that way 
before and I don't know if I will feel it again. 

Just waking every morning knowing that I would get to see you again, Oh it 
was such a feeling and now I can't even remember how it felt.

 Searching for that guy again with my whole heart and my whole soul... even if it turned 
out bitter I just wish I could know.

 I hate living in regret, I hate living in my head.

 It's filled with empty promises and dreams that are so far away I can't even feel them.

 I want to touch, this time i'm not afraid if only you could appear one day then maybe I 
would get my second chance.

 Reality is so much better than anything I could pretend 
so when the time comes I will jump into that mystery guys arms and fly free for that 
moment.


Details | Free verse | |

The Sowing---Repost in honor of Black History Month

The Sowing


Upon the wind feasted hillside
The jagged edges of used rocks swell
With the fatless skin of babes and wenches 
Below a field of blood, no less a Flanders Field

A continuous swell of rape roll like waves
In the pallid squalor of leaking huts wooden tales tell
The scars ironed in the backs and inner thighs
The voices crying with no listening ear
Blood shines bright in moon's glow sons birth upon the fields

For eons it seems men stack rape like barley and wheat
Small ones soft ones and inexperienced virgins too
Daughters bled away dignity men their respect
Born work and ravished in the fields
Where is their medal of bravery

Today the summer sun washes over the fields
Each ray eclipses the dark memories of sin
As the sons and daughters rise

This poem was written for Joann Grisetti's Copycat contest through inspiration of Debbie Guzzi's The Sowing, one of the Greatest writers here on the Soup
 


Details | Free verse | |

The Hands of Pain

My soul pounds with rage.
This heart has been scorched,
by your burning words.

My soul gasps for light 
slowly suffocated,
By your hands of pain.

I bare the mark of shame.
Your touch has maimed my body.
My mind drowned out my screams.

Blow by blow,
Shamed so low.
Never did you know how,
Your hands of pain marked me.


Details | Free verse | |

A Letter of Love/Hate

This hurts too much,
Even though at times
Its the best thing ever.
However,  the pain I feel right now 
Is destroying all that I am. 
I feel worthless and dumb. 
Vunerable and used. 
I also feel loved and special. 
Beautiful and wanted. 
These feeling are so extreme in every which way possible.
I love how I feel when with you
I hate how I feel guilty when we part
I love looking in your eyes
I hate when mine cry
Your fingers along my face also touches her
Those lips that drive me crazy
Are sleeping against her neck tonight
I love who I am around you
I hate what I have turned into
I love the way you make me feel
I hate that she must feel that as well
No matter how good it feels
This pain is too much to bear
I love you
I truely truely do
But the hurt is not worth
The random few moments of bliss.
Goodbye, my love-hate lover
Goodbye





**Note**
This is a letter/poem I wrote for someone special. But it moves me so much every time i 
read it, I thought maybe someone else would enjoy reading it as well. 'To write is to share 
with the world, how we all feel but never speak of'     Lisa


Details | Free verse | |

Hate-filled Love

I hate your touch and your smile.
Wicked little creature.

I hate your blue eyes and brown hair.
Sinful hate filled liar.

I hate your voice and your scent.
Rotten two-timer.

I hate you everything you do for what you did.
But we loved and touched, smiled, talked and connected physically.

You lied about our moments spend, 
you can't look me in the eyes.

You lead me on and stole my youth, 
but don't have the nerve to speak to me now.

I hate your beauty and your thievery;
but loved the way you made me fill.

I hate that you now do the same to another girl;
your lies blind her.

I hate the diseases you carry; 
love the infection you gave.

I love you and can't let go,
hate because I’m smarter than this.

I hate this poem because I think of you with every word...
Your eyes, your smile, your hair, your skin, and your kiss.

Most of all...

I love you for the time we had.
I hate you because you don't want me now. 


Now what???


Details | Free verse | |

White Silent Static Voices

All relationships in a cloud
Ones and zeros are your friends
Cackling static voices in white silence
Useless platitudes filter out
Your permanent depression
With temporary chemicals
Dulling the dread in your brain
 
Abandoned by the physical
To touch someone is too real
So smile and watch your photographs
of your white silent lives
Static cannot scream
and it cannot bleed
So wrap yourself in your comfortable white static lie
 
Expressing your emotion
Is cold and lifeless
Artificial artifacts of your life imprinted with communal approval
Show your smiles with drinks in hand
Hide your screams behind your eyes
With our white static silent voices
We hide ourselves from our lives


Details | Free verse | |

Untwisted

Sometimes the memories won’t fade 
         All the places we have seen
         All the prices we have paid 
The memories of the happy as well as the sad 
            The people we’ve lost
           The friends that we had 
Some memories just seem like a ghost 
I always lost everyone that I loved the most 
The wind would just carry them away 
             Along with my tears 
            And my ability to pray
    I wonder how far is heaven from here?
              How many more heartaches 
                 How many more tears 
              I wonder how far it is away
Because I have so many things that I wish to say 
To all the people that I loved and I lost 
             I’m not even tripping 
             My heart paid the cost 
The reaper rode the river in a bikers disguise 
I’ll never forget the fear in my mother’s eyes 
    As he drug her under and then let her go 
Through my four year old veins hate started to grow 
My eyes were blind my ears were deaf 
After that I forgot  
           There was anything left  
Karma is like poker for it is bound to luck 
When I was just a boy 
God through me under the truck 
Of all the things in life we feel 
   We are all bound to God’s will 
Passion is a doorway between love and hate 
    God is the dealer in the game of fate 
              Our place is not to question why 
                       For if we do our faith will die 
            The deeper we hate the deeper we love 
            I was gifted wisdom by the Lord above 
                    Every gift comes at a price 
A world of experience behind my advice 
     Every smile holds a lifetime of pain 
Nothing that happens should happen in vein 
                         It is our choice that which we do 
 Know in your heart these words are true 
The harder we fall the further we climb 
             No ones life is totally sublime 
Illusion after illusion will be offered to you 
                 But only the living word is true 
The living word that beats in your heart 
Will keep you safe as the world falls apart 
Through the pain of a boy watching his mother die 
It’s never to late to kiss the sky
A man of faith who could never give up 
Please come break my bread and share in my cup 
By the time our journey is through 
                      I’ll share all I am with you 
          Hopefully somewhere in my words you’ll see 
              ---Untwisted is truly the way to be---



Details | Free verse | |

David

David, you mean the very world to me and more
Can you forgive me?
You brighten my days when I am low and dead
And you listen—you always are there to listen
Bearing all things, you let me cry on your shoulder
You comforted me when I was scared to death
Of the demons…always watching…you were there
Watching over me, scaring them away from me
You save me by being alive and who you are, David
Without you, I would fall apart and shrivel into shame
Because there are few that listen—few that listen
You draw the poisons of my pain clear out
And you let them sink into your own skin
You swallowed my poison instead of spitting it out
I let you drown, David—forgive me…I let you drown
I’m selfish and rude, and I always ignore you
And for ever doing that, I hate myself
Seeing you in your last moments…woke me up
I’ve been a selfish bastard and I hate me
For never giving you enough love

David you are everything to us all and more
Do you hear me?
You are so uplifting to all of those around you 
You are selfless—so incredibly selfless
And in the silence you lifted me high with praise
Because I knew you would always be the one to give it
Never was there a day that you didn’t believe in me
Even when in darkness have I buried you in all matters of sin
Your light blinds the demonic rust...your light always shining
Never leaving me in the dust but never expecting the same back
And I never saved you! From all the loneliness
I never thought of you! I was so selfish
I will never let you go again—I will fight for your glory
You are amazing in every way
Far braver and brighter than I have ever dreamed to be
I let you down this time, David…I cried for your life
But now I ask for your forgiveness
Seeing you being taken away…crushed me to the marrow
I’ve never hated myself more than tonight
But I will never, ever say goodbye

*for my little brother, David William Breidenthal - I would love for you guys to read some of his poetry. He is a brilliant kid. And he’s been having some tough times. Thanks. *


Details | Free verse | |

I hate you

I hate you

I hate that look in your eyes
That makes me despise 
Myself for wanting you

I hate you

I hate your smile and the way that your tease
Plays on my need to please
Every inch of you

I hate you

I hate that you withhold your affection
And in that I find protection
Guarding myself from you

I hate you

I hate the feel of your touch
That I covet so much
I think of nothing but you

I hate you

I hate that you’re there every day
That I wait for your ‘Hey!’
Needing to be near you

Mostly though

I hate me

I hate that I can’t keep away from you
And that the selfishness in you
Shows only the flaws in me


Details | Free verse | |

Undeniable

I hear the siren of death whistling through your hollow heart.

I see the lies fall so fluidly out of your mouth.

Almost as if it’s natural; a black gravity of some sort. 

I smell the genuine scent of decay, so unpleasant, so definite.

You can’t deny.

I touch a dry residue; ashes of your guilt ignited memory.

I taste the sweet flavor of revenge, as you perish away into nothing but eternity.

I feel sympathy for your poor soul, like a child going off to school with nothing more
than their name.

Why is it that as much as I try to hate all I feel is love?

It’s like my emotions are trapped in absolute values.

I’m dying to hate you, yet would so easily die for you.

My contradictions take over; pulling as if I can be separated.

I cringe at your voice.

I smile at your calamity, even though your suffering isn’t my credit to claim.     


Details | Free verse | |

Love and Hatred

Twin brothers born of humanity 
Raised in the heart land
Fed by circumstances
Shaped by choice
Same freedom
Different destinies 

I saw Love grow with limbs
Stretching wide to pull everything
To himself even hatred
And i saw hatred grow with craws
Hiding them in his bosom
Till they grow longer and stronger

I thought this Love kid was too touchy 
And i treasured Hatred he was for special occasions 
Defending my weaknesses and flaws 
Love was ridiculing my my all efforts
He was becoming extravagant, giving this giving that
Not like Hatred a sweet heart who measured 
According to what he treasured 

Years have gone by and 
Love has prospered with many friends
Many people giving back to him
Yet hatred brought out his claws,
His fangs came out
And he grew three horns

One of rejection
another for despair
And bigger one with this word engraved 'loser'
I watched these twins
Walk different directions like light and darkness
Their waring grand fathers

I walked two their birthday parties
Few turned up, gave him crowns and called him Dad
For hatred the party was noisy
Many gathered worshiped him 
In fear of the horns
Love commanded his servants to dress all that came
with compassion, faithfulness, and honor
Hatred commanded his subjects
To kill every one that came for the party
Many died few survived


Details | Free verse | |

You. Just. Laugh.

Bye forever you worthless liar
I'm dead the way you want
Descending to my grave
By your grace was I killed
You brought this upon me
Killing me
Bleeding eternally
I hate you now!
I hate it here!
I'm gone now, and you should be happy!
And apparently you are
Laughing
As you shovel dirt into my grave
My crumpled body drowning in my blood
My veins are white with emptiness
But you. Just. Laugh.
Damn you
To the deepest pit of hell
You broke me down
Tore me to pieces
Ripped out my soul
And fed it to the devils
Who are now my only company
Yell all you want
I'm too numb to care
Tell everyone 
I'm gone
Throw a party
Have fun
Hope your happy
My lungs burn with blood
You look down
I'm almost buried
I pray for your sympathy
To some how help me
But you. just. laugh.
As dirt covers my face
And I choke on your lies
Until.
I'm.
Dead.
But what do you care.
You. Just. Laugh.


Details | Free verse | |

The Beast

 I hate
the killer in me
 Love
the killer of me
 Hate
the me in me
 Love
the killer
 Me



By: Tawny Kelley


Details | Free verse | |

Why does the will i am hate Mr Jones?

Is it cause youre small minded Mr jones asks the many voices who once had 
repect counting the crows pecking the and gouging out their eyes?
Is it cause you loathe what you dont understand and this revelation is something 
they need to see in themselves?
Is it the fact you carry a heavy load and need a helping hand
was it the opium you down like poison that you Jones for
leaving you to ask who i am?

Whats the will I am saying?
as he steals my spotlight
leaving me here assassinated verbally like a sitting duck
sure im no hippy sniffing daisies
pounding on drums in peace beads begging for sex
with a picket sign saying peace please

Is it because im gay?
Is it because im spiritual?
do we have penis envy?
Have you read the lists?
are you going to pay the tithe?
and before you mash the send button with snide cruel bitter comments
please please
don't think twice

the murder of crows circling
cawing in the blood moon sky
November rains down on this wedding day
and I am forever by your side
why does my will
the will i am hate me?
is it a syndrom of an itchy trigger finger
an itch below the waste
why must everyone pull eachother down
back into the boiling pot
like the crabs we truly are in this amazing race
to lose it all
then fall
and sing and
sway and praise
and humm such blasphemous amazing grace
of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes

oh sweet sugar coatings
and icing on the cake
The will iam
I wonder counting crows
a famous last name with me
Mr jones
why do you hate the will I am

Is it because i read tarot cards?
is it because i'm gay?
is it because i'm amongst favorites?
is it because im controversial?
is it because you have nothing to say?

but who am i flamethrower
i sit here a hack
with a curse gor the harpie you are
and a smile upon my face
i throw this effortless nothing
and never look back

the stone falls into the pool of the abyss
oh will i am
mr jones
why do you loathe what you dont understand?


Details | Free verse | |

I Hate...

The collision of my feelings,
And the confrontation of words,
The lies,
All the lies…
Hatred, hate, all the hate,
I hate…

Drown in my pain,
Until you suffocate,
And free yourself from me,
To free me,
I hate…

A million words burn in me,
A thousand screams call for freedom,
For salvation,
But my soul is abandoned
In the void,
I hate…

Let me fade away,
Let me turn into black,
Let me dissolve into nothing,
To free me from myself,
I hate…

Fear,
Free my fearful heart,
And take me away,
Anyone…
Let these words stop:
“I hate.”

Break the chain of eternity,
Kill the immortality of my torment,
Let my blood flow in my veins,
And let the air circulate
In and out of my body,
I hate…

I hate…
You…and you,
I hate life,
I hate me,
I hate…
Everything,
Hate, hate, hate,

“Hate , hate , hate”
I woke up saying,
With the letters,
“H” “A” “T” “E”
Sliding between my lips,

I cried loudly,
For I felt it,
I felt the hate,
Conceal all my feelings;
I felt it make me grab a knife…
I stabbed myself!
I stabbed my heart…it made me stab myself…
Just to free itself from me,
And to free me,
Forever…  


 



Details | Free verse | |

I Hate Her

I hate her.
She isn't that ugly
And she has enough friends,
But i still hate her.

I hate her.
Her mind,
Twisting thoughts into illusions.
Illusions folding into reality,
All to escape herself.

I hate her.
All of her problems
She projects onto others
In the vain hope
That someone will wave their wand
And save her
From her fairytale nightmare.

I hate her.
All of her weird habits
And sudden depression
The way she cries about
The smallest thing
Cutting with her words.

I hate her,
This girl i see in the mirror.


Details | Free verse | |

A Warning And a Promise

Every day is a Battle...
What is it?
HATE...

Hatred of being ALIVE...

I awake,
DEAD...

I am LOST...

I hate this body,
I hate EVERYTHING...

Nothing matters,
I'm a failure...
Each and every day
I fade further away...

You think I'm happy,
because I smile?
I'll laugh and joke with you all,
but there is no JOY...

When I'm alone,
it's all different...
I try to fight it...
It grows,
it's the hunger...

My appetite is DEATH...

Something inside me tells me to..
I want to,
I want to DIE...

I joke about it,
But I'm serious...

Because when the feeling comes,
it is abominable...

I can not predict the END...

But I know it's near,
it has gotten worse...
Today I feel it,
tomorrow I may do it...
It may be tonight....

I just can't tell you,
but I wish them feelings
Subside...

I wish the pain to go away,
But wishes are wishes
and wishes don't come true for me...

Because I wish the world a better place,
I wish for peace,
I wish for happiness
and I wish there was never no pain...

I hate what I see,
I hate what I feel...

It's a nightmare and it has swallowed me...

Maybe, Maybe Today,
and the past will be forgotten...

For I've been forgotten,
I am Lost...
DEAD, and in Pain...

Tomorrow I say GOODBYE...
                           
                                       Maybe not...

written in CCJ on 07-30-2000


Details | Free verse | |

I Hate This

I hate this, I really do
Why do you have to do this to me
I can't ever be happy
You take it all away!
I can never be proud of myself
Some how you take it away!
I can never smile
Because you make fun of me
I hate it! I hate this!
Why can't  you just shut-up!
Not talk to me
Leave me alone!
Let me enjoy my fame
I hate when you do this to me!
Always hurt me
In a different way
I hate this!


Details | Free verse | |

Behind The Anger

I’m angry
at God, my friends, but mostly
myself. 
Each day, I wake up
wondering what my purpose is
and why I belong
with you, with him, with them
Or just why I belong…
here.
Everyday
I walk further…
Further away from reality,
from happiness,
from truth
Just to get a moment of silence
from the noise of obligation,
responsibility and commitment…
and all the things I need,
but can’t handle.
I walk towards darkness,
where no one can see the tears,
where I can fade away 
and be forgotten.
I live a life in which
I am loved so dearly
beyond my knowledge…
Loved so much that now,
they’ll start to hate me.
Because everyday
that I make it easier on myself,
I make it harder on them.
And without a word, 
I know…
that they’re hurting inside
and when I catch them looking
I don’t wanna smile
I don’t wanna give them false hope
that I’d finally be the person
they want me to be.
And in my anger, I hope to hide
that deep down, I’m hurting too.
Because it’ll only hurt them more.
I only hurt the ones who love me most
So when my eyes meet theirs,
I beg for them to hate me
Because then, maybe…
They can let me go


Details | Free verse | |

Broken Hearted

If this wasn't ment to be then why did God let it go this far?
If I cant have tou to myself, 
then why should anyone else?
Im tired of suffering while youre out partying with your friends.
I hate that I cant hid from all this,
but some how you find a way you can.
I hate when I see you for the first time in months.
I hate that I build myself up,
only to let you tare me down.
I dont wanna love you anymore.
I dont want to look at him and see you.
I dont wanna think of the "What If's".
I dont wanna see your face everywhere I go.
I dont wanna cry everytime I hear our song on the raido.
I dont wanna think about our past,
thinking of ways I could of made it last.
If you didn't love me,
then why did you lead me on?
If you didn't care then why were you holding on so strong?
If I was the one, then why are you with HER??


Details | Free verse | |

Memories

First thing on my mind
Seems to be you
Yet now it's negative
Not as positive
Even though we shared
Many good times
There were times
Where the broken heart would be mine
Memories of you
I try to forget
It seems to affect me everyday
Yet those memories
I also cherish
I don't know what to do!

All those memories
That I have of you
Are pleasant yet painful
I love you? or do I hate you?
I don't know anymore...

I know I said
I needed you
I kept you in my mind
To keep me going
But now I'm just fine
I don't need you anymore
Because you loving someone else
And playing me is wrong
All those memories
I smile, cry, get sad, even mad
Now I'm questioning
If my friends were right all along!

All these thoughts
I have of you
Are loving yet hateful
What should I do?
Can you please tell me!?
I don't know what to feel... anymore...

All of those memories...
I have are hurting me inside
Why would you do something like this?
Now I'm confused...
I don't know what to do!

All these memories
I have of you
Are pleasant yet painful
I love you? or do I hate you?
I don't know anymore
All these thoughts
I have of you
Are loving yet hateful
What should I do?
Can you please tell me!?
I don't know what to feel... anymore...
I don't know if I love you... anymore...


Details | Free verse | |

About Me Pt. 1

What can I say about me that you can’t learn within a day?
I was born to be a hopeless romantic,
except I never have any romance in my life
I am a gentleman,
I take my chivalry seriously
I want someone to hold and never let go of,
I want someone who will be there
I want someone who will tell me everything will be okay
I want someone to hold my hand
I find myself surrounded by beautiful girls,
but they always seem to find happiness in somebody else
I’m great at reading the negative signs
I’m terrible at reading the positive ones
I always misinterpret friendship for attraction
or vice versa out of fear of rejection,
out of fear of being mistaken, yet again
I am always, just a friend
I am blessed with the best friends in the world
but, I fear, I might turn my back on them to some extent over a girl
I’m afraid my friends will disappear
finally realizing I’m not worth keeping
finally seeing what I see in myself
but, I hope and pray that they never do
Far too often I wonder
I wonder if I died, if anybody would really care?
I wonder if anybody would really miss me like they say they would were I not 
there?
I’m smarter than I’ll admit,
but I still fear I’m not smart enough
I’m afraid I’ll never reach my goals
I’m afraid I’ll never graduate from college,
become a doctor,
meet that one special girl,
and start a family of my own
I’m afraid to let myself down,
but I’m even more afraid of letting down others
I am a people pleaser,
but I’m not sure if I ever really please many people 
I like knowing what’s around the bend,
but I don’t enjoy monotony 
or spoiled endings
I enjoy having fun,
but I enjoy being serious
I’m easily amused
but I hate stupid things
I write best when I’m depressed,
but I hate feeling that way
Yet I love writing so much,
I just can’t win


Details | Free verse | |

Love, I Hate You

Love, I hate you, 
Not ‘cos you’re ugly.

Love, I hate you, 
Not ‘cos you don’t love me.

Love, I hate you,
‘Cos of your great love to me.

Love, I hate you, ‘cos of it; 
A listener, you don’t want to be.
.
You heeded not what I said, 
Even thou, I beg you, to “back off!”

“Now, Look!
You see… what we’ve done!?”

A soul is in grieve, 
‘Cos of us.

With your love, 
My soul cries, too.

Love, I hate you, 
For intoxicating me, with your potion.

Thou, you know…
I am a married man.



Details | Free verse | |

I'm Sorry-A Poem for my kids-Jani, Billy, Josh, and Kristin

I'm sorry to all of my children
How I wish I could go back to change
The wrong things I've put you all through
And to make time rearrange
Those times to good moments for all of you
I'm sorry for what my life, fears and screw ups have put all four of you through
I simply rolled with what those fears handed me
Yes I so should've done more
And not just let it be
I was so scared and didn't really know what to do
When you're standing inside a house with the rook on fire
Well you, in that moment, are to blind to see
What's happening all around
Now I see it all to clearly and the fire is burning everything down to the ground
I'm sorry I wasn't there for you like I should've been
There's no excuse for it
Those wounds you now bear may not ever mend
And I live with that everyday
But that doesn't mean the love that I feel
For each one of you isn't real
It most certainly is
I'm not asking any of you to forgive me or accept my apology
But know that this all comes from my heart
Pain and rage will tear ones soul apart
And none of these words will make the past different, go away or any better
We do still have a chance, however, to overcome it and get through the stormy 
weather together
Being better people in the end
So while this don't make my mistakes you bear go away
I still need to say
You can hate me more and more everyday
If that's what is helping you to get by and cope
But no matter how much hate you have for me, I still love all four of you 
unconditionally
Perhaps one day you can each find it in your hearts to forgive me
Not for me, but for yourselves cause it's truly the only way you'll ever fully be able to 
move on........Love Mom


Details | Free verse | |

GLOBAL POLITICIANS -POLLUTION-

Global Pollution 
This is a hate Crime Rhyme
Opposing all of he or she who passed a veto 
I will slam everyone in the House of Representatives 
Away with the “HATE CRIME” law. 
Global Politicians waste our time. 
A race on who gets down dirty and raw. 
Crying we are all equal under the same law. 
I plead the fifth, if you care 
All you posers are so unfair 
You give me more time because you do not like my hair. 
You crazy politics say "stop doing that!" 
Opening the eye's for us to perceive life very offensively
Piling up this world with your bull crap! 
Once again hating is all I see 
I have a low tolerance for politicians on TV. 
Law and order makes me shout 
Every law article in the news 
Is about a politician giving out a poor interview
Boo who on who's attacking or threatening who 
All you polluters do is boast
Hey you politicians all of you I loath 
The more government spreads protection 
How I hate the ones who abuse the situation 
All you polluters are creating a bigger "Hating Crime." 
Passing out particular laws igniting more intimidation 
Tired of trying to live up to your expectation
I am giving you my perception 
Viewing all your sour reputations 
Always debating and telling us what to do 
There is nothing brave about you
You think you are doing what is best for us
You cowards do not understand where we are coming from 
Instead of embracing us, you continue to lose our trust 
All of today's politics, are nothing compared to yesterday’s trick 
Age, race, notational origin, the list goes on and on
A conflict in our free society 
Gender, religion, to disability 
In this, I see no promotion in opportunity  
All you perpetrators are inflicting, 
Damage on our physical and emotional unity
All you so called leaders take a stand 
Offer us something we really need to understand
Polluting all of Gods nations 
With your "censored" label that this is your political land 
You lunatics want us to consider all sides
Pretending to be friendly to cover our hides 
Put a sock in you hypocritical politicians fool
Bomb the heck out of them __ 
For using terrorism as there # 1 tool 
We got what it takes to send our enemies to oblivion
You oxy morons, the government you do not know how to run! 
For all this hate is just a silly sound 
Politicians you are just a swift in a nuke frown 
Do not come and put your stupid signs on my ground
HATE IS HOW YOU POLITICS MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND and ROUND!
 
by;PD


Details | Free verse | |

NOTE

    H A T E

~I have no room to hide
the only way is to die~

I hate this world
I hate all it's made of
I lost the love  inside
You are nothing but a joke,
the way you came into my life.
Why do you keep us from the truth
God do you not love us
Why do you insist on these bruises and wounds
Do you not care about the pain and the scars
Trick us with the vanity of the flower
Shower us with the poorest rain
My God where's your power
Do I also have to die for his name
Drown because of everyone else sin
All I wanted was to believe in love
Instead I opened a book of torment
What did I do to you
Why do I feel the battle is with me?
how did i get raped with hate 
What happen to the wings
Why do I feel as if we are all  bait
a world of  no balance, I hate
I retaliate  on my own hate
True love is a program even you deny 
I hate the hate you put upon this world
A hate the look of poverty
resent- IS ME!
confusing the heart to feel nothing
I can't bring my self to need you
You never protected me when in need
You left me suffering alone through the deepest sea
the desert swallowed my dearest mirage
you let me down, to many times
I hate that i still talk to you
the emotions are destroyed
do you laugh  at my beating pulse
you created  many Nations
Meaning you gave hate to this world
making us different in every race 
who else has a key of power to your master plan
I m not blind no more
I see things,   the way he wants me to see
with truth you hide from me
I hate the way this world rotates
I hate the flavor of it all
I was told i was created by your hands
Not Satan's evil ways

God I hate the world you made
Why rest us in a place of love


            S.K.A.T.


Details | Free verse | |

Slave to the Job

Vampires suck, they drain my life
it feels like that in this god damn place
A pound of flesh I'm sure they'll take
but even then they won't be full
not satisfied until
I'm worn and I'm weary
they chip chip chip away
then I'm nothing but a shell
I wish I could enjoy this time
on the short path to the inevitable
A pension not too far off for some years of frailty
but what's the point shall I give up now
to stop the pain of being a zombie
I'll carry on because I'm programmed to
but the vultures, the leeches and parasites continue
to bleed me for my life


Details | Free verse | |

I Hate The Word - Hate





             HATE is a very strong word                            I like the soft words
                    HATE is awful                                  why not show consideration
               HATE leads to unrest                                     I like the peace
               HATE leads to hostility                                  friendship is a joy
                  HATE means war                                 why kill, when we can love
            The world is full of HATRED                  let`s share the world with happiness
                                      
                                                



                


*** NOT for the contest.
A-L Andresen
28.July 2012


Details | Free verse | |

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree

Why do people always say this?
Just because these people are our parents doesn't mean 
We have to be just like them.
Everyone assumes I'm like my birth father

When something goes missing
I am blamed because
HE was a kleptomaniac

When my sister is hurt
I am blamed because
HE was abusive

When I do something wrong
They say it's because I'm like him
Because HIS blood runs in my veins

When I am telling the truth
They assume I'm lying because
HE was a pathological liar

I hate being related to someone like this
I hate that HE is my father
But most of all,
I am afraid of turning out like him
I hate when people say
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree


Details | Free verse | |

*i HATE you LIKE

*I Hate You Like*  (For: Brittany Moon) Her Tiny  Request**


I hate you like the Eclipse of the sun and moon====== 
Lightning, thunder, twisters,and Hurricane # 7 destruction upon my hate=

I hate you like the father who walked out on us======
Hating you is the only way we can relate========== 
Fire, burn, heat , and smoke, igniting the hate in flames=

I hate you like the lion who can't wait to devour his prey==== 
I hate you like ivy with poison to irritate ==============
I hate you indeed, deeper than the abyss in space========
Black, ebony, coal, and darkness you fell in my pit of hate===

I hate you and dispise all your living ways=========
I hate you because I want to==========
I hate you and nothing compares=============== 
I hate the living guts out of you ================ 

________________________________________________________________________
*A note from Brittany Moon*
*Written by: P.D. as a request from me (an opposition to my original poem: I Love You 
Like)...thank you P.D. for your awesome talent   ((BY: Brittany Moon))
________________________________________________________________________
 Commented by: Deborah Guzzi  :- ) ------
naww like the taste of curdled milk...my mouths tastes my hate for you...
like the painful lingering scen of skunk on a precious cat...my hate for you clings...
gumming up my mind like bubble gum in a braid....
smooch (( that is why I love Ya Teach)) p.d.


Details | Free verse | |

One More Day

Another new day has begun
and I've been given one more day
to feel the pain I always feel
from knowing that I don't belong
and that I should have never been

Another chance to mourn my dreams
as I watch them laid to rest
and wait for death to come and trade
this earthly hell for one that's earned
with the sins that are my own

Yet one more day that I may cry
though countless tears I've cried before
again examining the faults
that I regretfully possess
within this useless bag of flesh

Another day for me to swim
in the pool of my self hate
though I've been hated all my life
no one could ever hate me more
than I already hate myself

I've gained more time so I can think
about that which is wrong with me
and everything thing I cannot change
for I have tried and always fail
to change what is just meant to be

Then again it's one more day
that brings me closer to the end
of my pain and worthlessness
when I'll no longer have to face
the darkness that consumes my mind


Inspired by Sami Al-Khaliti's  The Cynical Heart contest


Details | Free verse | |

The Righteousness Of Love

Love is a wonder shared by one another it's the only reason I'm not six feet under Love in which I believe in a will to sustain I give back to life, now in dormant states of pain The power of Love may not alone be enough locked inside my dreams escape only from above higher than any human being has ever gone before I must have evolved rise above hate, great once more My Father taught me wisdom I am imprisoned no longer now an beast not of burden I am no lion, I am stronger on my shoulder sits twin dragons long awaiting the day evil forces come forth to take what Love is left, away A Hero of Love light are what the world needs angels, not demons exist where ever you believe follow your heart's direction and you shall achieve objects of affection rid of materialistic greed My bright energy has awakened to a fire never consuming the source as the flames just grow higher that is the desire of a product we call Love Fear, the counterpart what I was once made of I am slowly learning how to win when my peace is harder to sharpen so I have given my pen leave the sword has its uses I must say I believe to vanquish the evil in the minds too diseased to serve any purpose except their own selfish ones tomorrow a new day in the clarity of the sun where we two are now one and one done now does bring about a great change lit by the righteousness of Love.


Details | Free verse | |

Premeditated- For Reverse Contest

Premeditated
The pain you inflict
The trap that you set
Ordered by obsession	
Made of twisted ropes
Premeditated
Unintentional wounds
Can be forgiven
Thoughtless words and acts
Like sand through fingers
For premeditated Spite
More grace than usual needed
To forgive
Born in hate
Rooted in misconceptions
Fed by jealousy
Premeditated murder of a soul
A higher sentence
Longer time
Unforgivable crime
Premeditated

August 12, 2013
For Craig Cornish's Reverse Contest


Details | Free verse | |

It's Time

I hear the piercing cries
of infants,
The last whimper of the slaughtered 
"lesser-than-man",
The anguished howls
from mothers,
The ubiquitous pain
felt in every limb – 
oh! The ache and sore
When will we rise?
Shall we rise?

To fight, to battle
the ones playing Devil’s
right-hand man
The vermin that burn
and make hell on earth
The bastards that rob
the weaker of their rights,
the lives that could have been
When will we rise?
Shall we rise?

Towers brought to ashes,
flesh to bones,
blood for diamonds,
purity to filth,
What have man become?
Eyes closed
cries unheeded
The blood taints the grounds,
grounds turned to riches
When will we rise?
It is time.
To fight! to battle!
To make a better better.

The cowardly shall cower no more,
The oppressed shall be repressed no more.
Men slathered in suits
Promising a feigned tomorrow
Actions uncommenced,
Voices unheard,
Men without honour, without tarnish either
What use have we of them?

The silenced shall be unheard no more
The remained silent thus will be the bigger culprit
The change is within grasp
It is time. 


Details | Free verse | |

Theres a reason for everything I am

                                      Im crazy and a bit neurotic
                                         I am beautifully phycotic
                                          Im spectical and negative
                                               because of the past
                                        I am fantasticlly pessimistic
                                          Im angry and im bitter
                                Because of how this world made me
                                      I am pathedicly codependent
                                  because not many have been there
                                      Im a thinker and a speaker
                                       wouldnt you like to know
                          I am kind until betrayed than im cold and cruel
                            vicious and sneaky like a snake to its prey
                                I am caring ,until you dont care
                                     then ill tear you to shreds
                                    I am loving til you hate me
                                     Then ill hate you to death
                                    I am forgiving of little things
                                 But if you take it to far ill go away
                             I am a perfect friend and a scary enemy
                             I mean sleep with your eyes open scary
                               If your good to me im better to you
                               If your bad to me im worse to you
                           There is a reason for everything I am


Details | Free verse | |

DON'T LET HER GO

If I had a chance to say I love you

Then I would
Then I would

If I had chance
If had a chance again

If I had a chance to say I love you

Then I would
Then I would

If I had chance
If had a chance again



Before she walked out the door
She screamed and threw glass on
 the floor she said I hate you I said
 I hate you more she said I am never
 coming back I said well now I am glad for sure

She looked me in my eyes
I looked her in her eyes
And we wondered if our
Words were truth or lie
She started to cry she tryed
To hold tears back so she
Rubbed her eyes and walked
Threw the door

I grabbed the broom and 
swept the glass on the floor 
I heard three gun shots then
I opened the door and
there she was on the floor...
it was her jealous ex boyfriend
 she didn't want him no more...

I kneeled in her blood streaming on
 the floor,and lifted her lifeless body off the floor

I Said come back baby
Come back I won't say
Those harsh things any more

Come back baby
Come back why the
hell did you go
Out that door
Out that door

Please get off the floor
Let's go in side

Her soul was no longer inside

If I had a chance to say I love you

Then I would
Then I would 

If I had chance
If had a chance again

If I had a chance to say I love you

Then I would
Then I would

If I had chance
If had a chance again


Details | Free verse | |

the story of my life

When i was about 5 i was put in to a SRS. I was there tell i was 7 and when i got out i move to my grandma and grandpa. When i was 9 my older brother started to beet me up every day and all day long and then when the beating he was giving me stop working he started doing other thing to me. When i was 12 i losted my grandma and then my grandpa didn't want nothing to do with use and still don't. i took my brother *****tell i was 15 then started to beat on him. My brother put me in jail for a few year because if the *****he made me do now i am 21 and have losted and got back the girl that i love and care about her name is Holli Sczenski. Her family don't want use together so they are making her choose between them or me she dues not want to have to choose between use she loves use both and i know it and her family know it but there still doing it. On top of all that my own family is going throw somethings as while my mom is not doing vary good and we may or may not lost her in the next few years.


Details | Free verse | |

Beastly Beauty

Mean from the start, depicted by fury.
  A beast lies in you, from the belly of your torment

Sour & snarling, with each word you spill.
 Lonely is your heart, unwilling to chill.

Severely damaged goods, not my fault.
  Feel the coldness in the air, gone as you depart.

Not a sight for sore eyes, whenever you pass by.
  Even your shadow, quivers with despise.

Somehow in this lunacy, a twinkle emerges 
  From your eyes.  A gesture pass that dark, shallow
Exterior.  A interior full of light.
 
 Gaze seemed so gloomy, now seen so bright.
A roaring echo rumbles, into a sweet lullaby,
By night.
 
 Beauty lost & found, in the strangest place.
Bewildered but transformed, love has found its place.


Details | Free verse | |

The Hatred of Skin

Deaths amongst us, emotions brutalize-n-baptize, in excited fires, the world’s 

infected from the tongues of liars, peace deprived us, eternal open eyelids it’s 

obvious, it’s the color of my skin, your women love us, so you hate our men, 

insecure racism is your hatred’s twin, pitiful, what happen 2 the African slaves, the 

Jews-n-the Indians, unforgettable, hatred at its pinnacle, this summit of a zenith, 

is identical, this diseased mind frame is plentiful, concise-n-literal, analytical-n-

political, life in America is difficult, the reason being , the color of a human being, 

deaths amongst us, you hear the demon breathing, poisonous brains still leaking, 

punctured-n-ruptured hearts still beating, pores open, venom secreting, vengeful, 

lethal, deaths amongst us, combustion lungs puncture, what a heathen, just listen, 

just listen, you hear the demon breathing, breathing on the color of my skin, 

deaths amongst us, let’s pray Amen.

Allah created all of us 
-n-all colors, we all brothers
We all lovers, let’s stop this
Sin/the Hatred of Skin

70% of the population
Wrongfully running the nation
While we the 14%, deal with 
Stereotypical racism, while 
We survive under investigation
Face it; this is what we’re faced with 


Details | Free verse | |

Love And Pricks

I Love the elderly so full of history I love my generation who kept me a mystery I love the children who's future, now bright for I have died for them to capture the light for i understand pain more than ever once I released it the anger got better as it went away from the people and into my music without a single reason to prove it without a reason to let Love's light in I didn't, it found me and lesser I sin God and my father both let me know it would all be okay so very long ago even tho the road would be full of pricks even back then I'd tell them you can all suck my dick. -Bj Fard


Details | Free verse | |

Boxing day

Perhaps you see me
it may be your gift to see
or merit for hard work
or maybe you paid for it with the lashings you endured
but surely it is now your inescapable wretched curse
as the truth haunts you
but you cannot close your eyes
like me.

It is my fault I am as this
to be as false as I am
false is my name
I cannot love that
I have buried it inside
and run away
because it is too ugly
easier to smile and pretend.

My grandmother saw it in my blackened soul
clever and easy to lie
she hurt me
made me ashamed
and broken
to protect the world and even me
but her tricks did not work
because I have killed too many hearts
and poisoned those that survived
even my own.

I am cold
and it is right I have suffered so
because I lost my heart
and replaced it with a ticking clock
that pretends to beat like a happy butterfly
and tries to convince me I have feelings
that I cannot reach
I am a masquerader of abundant hollow emotions
that laugh and smile and cry
but I never face myself
in the dark alone
because there is nothing to see without a light
my flame has no fuel
unless I suck it from another's bloody neck.

I do not know myself
because I cannot bear to look
but I hate myself as much as you hate me
and you should
because every love I'm given
is less for the world
I am a black hole
I give to get
like Hansel and Gretel's keeper
I only give love
to fatten up my lover
and open her precious tender trusting heart
so that I can consume it in eventual flames
and steal all of their future hope
and faith in humanity.

And I don't know how to stop
and am too afraid to stop myself
with the knife I keep hidden
but never have the courage to use
because I am a dark monster
that pretends to be inviting
like a pristine beach
on a boxing day morning
beckoning humanity
to my shoreline
so I can consume them
with my hungry tsunami
and leave them writhing in pain
with all hope in shambles.

Rescuers arrive in love
one after another
I greet them with open arms
as if I am deserving
needy
blinded behind my veil
pretending to myself until it is too late
and just as they almost open my heart
I swallow them under my next crushing wave.


Details | Free verse | |

Don't Try It

A single kiss from thy lovely lips,
so sweet and so divine,
yet I taste posion upon your tongue.

Your beauty so glorious,
like a blooming rose so beautiful,
yet, why do mine eyes go blind
in the sight that you walk along with another?

Yes you, walk with another,
arm under arm,
lips touching lips in romantic kisses,
it makes my blood boil,
for mine lips are dry.

For mine eyes have seen your glory,
yet no one here listens to my story.
You are evil, yes you are,
don't try to deny,
Listen to a man of experience,
you might as well save some expense.

I write of our long romantic walks
we took together, under the shade of olive trees,
how we went apple picking in autumn time,
and made love in the foyer.

Nomore of that sweet and passionate love,
nomore silent kisses in the night,
when the wind blows hard against the branches,
that tape violently on my windowpane. 
Nomore somber tears shed, when you got sick,
and nomore warm embraces when you shed tears of betrayal.

Betrayal now is a game played by a fool,
such as I,
to think I'd have a happy life with you?
Huh, only a fool would think such a thing,
but now I sit, looking at the foyer,
where we once made sweet, passionate love,
nomore will that foyer be filled with exotic pleasure.
Nomore will you be filled with smiles and exotic pleasure.
I've done my job, as a good man shall do,
now pack your things and get of my stage,
the spotlight yawns for anew,
and the audience grows tired and restless of you.

Now I live life anew,
you too shall see life in new eyes,
walking hand and hand with the blond, blue eyed devil
you call your own.
Shall he take one kiss from your lips,
and die of the posion he tastes on your tongue,
shall he go blind, when he sees your true, black beauty?
He will see the ugly soul, covered up by white rags,
and cheap makeup,
and then he will come to me,
and shake my hand in condolence
and say, "You were right!"

Now you are all alone,
looking for another, as you did many times before,
Now you are alone, walking an open road,
spying on another,
fear of being alone.
Now, you see when you play games with a good man's emotions,
don't try it,
because a good man is not meant to be toyed with.


Details | Free verse | |

A Modern Confession for a Dying Beggar

Die and crave-
Make me not hear your story,
Though I like to see you gaze
By the end of the day.
Tremble when you see me
As though I were a chill
Perhaps I am the soft care-
Taker of your bones.
Should I remember traces
Engraved by your moans,
I shall endorse those bywords
Equating you with me
You think I have to treat you
Indeed, I loathe your mother
I’d rather you were unseen
So that I shed you no tear.
Your father stole my fresh air
And so do you from me now;
Unless you give up breathing
My true blood will be bother’d.
O, please, forgive my true words-
They planned to vex your ego
They gather’d all my reasons
To help you rest in peace.
But, though you shall be tasting
The acrid sweat of my ease,
At least, allow my goodness
To sweat for all old beggars.


Details | Free verse | |

Good Morning Doctor Death

Waking up five in the morning,
and looking the dawn's sun rise,
to start the day with a yawn and strech.
Smell the morning dew,
as you go and retrive the morning newspaper,
filled with tablots of lives more intresting than yours.

You wave to your hand to your neighbor,
who you don't like, still you say, "hi"
Why?
It's just the nature of the human being.
You turn and go inside,
you feel some pain on your leftside.
All those milkshakes and hamburgers
caught up to you.
What do you do?
Not much, you can do now,
You fall to the ground, clenching your chest;
you call out for help, but no one comes.
You see your neightbor, but he doesn't mind.
See he hated you as well, like you hated him,
and he is glad to see you fall to your
knees and beg for Mercy.

Oh no! here he comes,
Doctor Death, no not Jack Kavorkian,
No! the big cheese,
the Creature that prays on black souls,
just like yours.
Doctor Death come on down! Come and clam your prize!
Good morning Doctor Death! I'm ready,
Are you?


Details | Free verse | |

It's a really obscure poem, you probably haven't heard of it

Oh, you’re cool. Deck.
With your battered copy of Naked Lunch
tucked away in your thrift-store
		-satchel, it’s definitely a satchel-
that holds your cigarettes,
the ones you bummed last Wednesday,
and the extra scarf you keep with you
	at all times
just in case your neck gets cold,
which it seems to often,
even though its brother is always
wrapped loosely around your neck.
That iPod in your hand
with the huge headphones
		-for better acoustics-
is playing that band you like,
the one with the synth player
who can also play both
the didgeridoo and keytar
at the same time,
but I don’t think that’s the reason
that they only have five fans
or that that’s why you like them.
It’s okay,
I won’t tell your friends that
you pay your rent with a trust fund. 
		-Isn’t that ironic?-
I’ll keep your secret
the way you keep quoting Kerouac,
who you only know of
because of high school English class.
And no,
I won’t tell them either
that you hate the taste of coffee,
and miss eating bacon,
and actually think that tattoo
of a Palahniuk quote
		-“Your heart is my piñata”-
translated into Finnish
is not as clever as it was
the first time you tried cocaine.
But don’t worry. 
I won’t call you a hipster.
That way you don’t have to
pretend to hate it.


Details | Free verse | |

Animal Rights And Terrorism

Where are the animal rights people
when it comes to the raghead nazis
of the Islamic State in Syria and Iraq?
No donkey, goat or sheep is safe
from mass rape from these loathsome
devil worshipping rat bastards.
Now that there are over thirty thousand
of these murdering brain dead dumb asses
running around in the desert over there
they have branched out to raping other
four legged creatures including
horses, cows, dogs, cats and even pigs.
Speak up for the persecuted animals
of Syria and Iraq all you bleeding hearts
from the free world nations of planet earth.


Details | Free verse | |

Satan's Spawn

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi
the self-appointed leader of the
Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant
jihadist group who declared
portions of Syria and Iraq
to be an Islamic Caliphate
under his personal command
was not birthed from a woman’s womb.
He is some slothful bipedal afterbirth slime
from a strange sexual encounter
between Adolf Hitler and Josef Stalin
in Hell itself and then he was dumped on earth
to be raised by a wandering herd of feral pigs.
He is evil incarnate in a subhuman form.
He is the demon child of the Devil.
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is Satan’s Spawn.


Details | Free verse | |

Somber Tears

As the sun sets
and the twilight comes out,
as the birds and squrriels are no where in sight.

As the whores and pimps sit on street corners,
waiting for street lights to turn from green to red.
As cadillacs stop and roll their windows down.

I can her the faint cry deep in the darkness,
of dirty gutters and dark, dead end alleyways,
I hear the faint tears fall and hit concrete pavement.

I feel the faint cries of whores,
I hear the sound of backhand hitting face
and brused tissue and broken noses are everywhere.

And the somber tears fall onto pillow cases,
and white motel bedsheets run red with blood
and cheap Italian wine.

And you can her the poet over the radio,
reading his own work for the one millionth time
and you can hear his soul slowly wanting to die.

He drowns himself in smoke and alcohol
the whore takes her pay, or spends a night in a jail cell,
the pimp nowhere to be found,
with a shiny blade stuck deep in his gut.

And the somber tears fall gently on the concrete pavement,
the floors of a jail cell,
tears on the pillow case and tears on a lonesome stage.

Tears never present, but are seen by many,
pain aches and pain takes away,
and I pour one more drink for the whore.

She takes me away,
and I caught her salty, somber tear,
and she crawled into my warm embrace.

I was the one who stuck the blade in the gut of that pimp,
who broke her nose and made her bleed,
with a cowardess and souless backhand.

I walk into the moonlight,
hearing the somber tears all around me,
crash violently to the concrete pavement.

The Earth rumbles and erupts with these tears,
that are shead for fellow Men, and Women and Children,
but we all look at ourselves and smile.

Happy we don't pay rent,
happy we don't have cancer,
happy we aren't six feet under;

But we still all cry,
Why?
Somber tears all fall in one big wave

crashing violently on the concrete pavement.
Now the red light turns green,
and the traffic moves along,
the whore is still at her corner,
the pimp still with the blade in his gut.


Details | Free verse | |

Depression

Depression

3 o’clock in the morning…
The sounds of bed frames hitting drywall,
The sounds of Chopin and Coltrane played
With a hint of sadness in tone.
Sounds of whores and pimps arguing;
“Where is the money, you whore?!”
“I don’t have the money!”
A sound of a slap to the face
A big hand crushing bone,
Blood everywhere
Red streaks on white walls.
The sound of drunks walking gloomy streets,
Police and ambulance rush down burned out streets
Sirens wailing, crying out!

A child, six years old
Crying, “Momma! Momma!”
Shedding tears over his dying mother, lost her soul to the
Crack pipe.
Rest In Peace.
A sound of a .357 magnum revolver click
And a gunshot shakes the nerves of many,
And for a moment the sweet and peaceful silence.

“Dispatch, suicide on 46th street Hollywood Boulevard, Send the Corner. Over.”
Then the darkness sails over
And the entire cities are showered with tears from the heavens,
But no one weeps,
Not a single soul…

-10/2/13-


Details | Free verse | |

SUFFER NOT

SUFFER NOT

Suffer not o man she cried desperate for consolation
Compassion twisted and tore at her heart 
but the world she knew was silent.

Painful sounds from death filled wars, would wound her more
than jagged poison tipped arrows that pierced much too deeply.
And yet she carried on in quiet song as the world she knew kept silent.

And if the dying weren't enough, the sight of bloated bellies
and distraught mothers and sacked villages laid bare
by the unwilled force of child soldiers, would crush her spirit. 
How could the world she knew keep silent?

Thinking that God did not understand her despair 
She wept with abeyant tears that could not flow 
as the world she knew kept silent.

To live, to die in the soiled spattered flow of time
passing through, passing through
Is the secret so sublime? Cannot she grieve? 
Then silence no more was heard.

Instead a curious word within emerged 
from her meditation of life's graces
a Hebrew word "Bitachon"
What was not known in agonies 
was revealed in her silence.

C.A.K. 1-9-201


Details | Free verse | |

Obama

I'm not sure how youre going to lead your people to salvation
gang bangers holding the bag, perpetrating violence
i can't help what i think about that predicament
blackmailed, or all rap artists truly do like being the figure heads 
of community terrorism
fighting for their rights throughout history
just to throw it all away
raised to believe they were the only ones whose legacy is a nightmare
but they make money rubbing their guns and drugs in our face
selling other people to blackmarkets for slavery
to make more chemicals

I truly hope you take this opportunity to lead your people in the right direction
to truly be able to find themselves
i'm only one person on the outside looking in
i just truly dont believe all those money making rap artists
truly desire to continue the cycle of violence
i myself believe some sick racist paid them to throw themselves away

Drugs and guns
\kids killing kids
something has to be done
and why your people are the ones representing this
I truly believe another black man can encourage his fellows of skin
to see the bright side, work on solving the problem from now on instead of making it worse

I can't handle much more of this
seeing people fight for their rights
and lose to themselves again
being part of the solution of the problems they are soo upset about
is more understandable than being paid to be the front lines of genocide
and continue the never ending cycle of hate and confusion
I'm not fooled by what has happened to them, and what is
but change is inevitable, solving their own problems they probably were entrapped with

War crimes on both sides
the black and white
minds cornered by previous experiences just want to end this nightmare
or maybe i'm wrong
maybe the racists over there are right
maybe they didnt see how someone made them think one thing
and used violence to enforce actions cornering the hate again
in the end war crimes on both sides
i just urge you to find a solution to this
i myself am tired of the psychological fight of a futile civil war 
engulfing both sides of the unfortunate paradox
its harder than you realise to see through it
its harder not to get wrapped up in my own emotions of the past that was and the present 
that is

Manipulative people brainwashed the innocent
and then used violence against your people to prove that they are justified
its a sick game obama
its disgusting and the streets of your own society need a solution to a dirty trick


Details | Free verse | |

Ebony Webboney My Little Princess

The house suddenly seems so very empty
I miss you so much my little darling Princess
Ebony Webbony my little independent girl
Thank you for being part of my life for so long
I will admit it was not that we were always connected
You were far too independent for all the cuddly stuff
Except, of course that is when you wants something
Then I became the sun, the moon, and the stars
Once your demands were satisfied, off you would flit
But you were always there, my little outdoor girl
Then when of course you did  come into the house
It was like some  Royal visit from the Queen
Up on the cabinet you’d sit by the kitchen door
Silently demanding, telling me it was supper time
For breakfast, only outdoors never never indoors
Different places with different change of mood
“No no, I do not want to eat here, no,no, NO!”
“Put it where I want it, or I will not eat at all!”
“I do not give a damn about the crows, put it there!”
“No I hate the Vets, no I hate cars, no, no, No!”
“No, no NO! I do not want my picture taken,
Go away, this is my private place, please go away”
“No, no, NO! Do not cuddle me I am not in the mood”
Okay so now is the time so make sure you do it right”
“Steuth , enough of this cuddle stuff, I’m out of here!” 
For years you and Gingerwhinger did not speak 
Then suddenly you became the greatest of pals
Inseparable you both became, Oh he misses you so
So do I my little precious Princess, Oh so do I.
Something has gone out of our lives and it is you
My Ebony Webbony, thank you for nineteen precious years! 

			© Copyright Elizabeth Waterhouse 2012	




Details | Free verse | |

Sometimes I wish I was

I see you,
I feel you, 
I know you want me,
but I also know that you want me to be her,
and I'm not, 
but sometimes I wish I was.

I wish you saw me, as you see her,
even though You don't want to be with her any more.

I wish that you wouldn't pretend not to know me,
when the very last night,
laying on bed,
I love you,
slipped through your lips,
which was followed by a huge apology,
and you don't realize I didn't even flinch when you said it,
because i had been imagining it all along, 
ever since we made love for the first time,
I didn't want your apology,
even if I know you said it not because you loved me,
but because you wanted me to be her,
so you could love me,
and I'm content with me being in your bed while you imagine I'm someone else,
just that more beautiful, and with no intention of harming you.
And I don't understand, how you cannot see me a as you see her,
I know I'm not her;
but sometimes,
I wish I was.

I'm better,
I would never leave you there to cry your self to sleep,
I wouldn't grab you so hard that I would leave a mark on your beautiful skin,
I didn't want your apology,
But I do apologize to you.
'cause I'm not her, 
and because sometimes,
I wish I was.

I apologize,
because I'm leaving,
I'm going far away,
And I know You'll miss me.

I know you'll find someone else,
as I also know I'm not your only one,
but I do know,
I'm your best one.

I leave my life here,
and hope that when I come back,
if I ever do,
I will no longer want to be her,
but me,
cause maybe,
just maybe,
when I get back,
You'll love no one,
but me.


Details | Free verse | |

My Pain

              My Pain
I should not look through her eyes
I should not admire her pleasant lips
When she talks, smiles, or winces
I should not savor her attractive smell
I should never commend her shiny body

She bewitched me like a crazy person
I hate the day that I crossed her path
I can’t block her out of my heart
She destroyed my heart’s protection
She reduces my life expectancy

Her seduction drives me to the doctors
Anesthesiologists can't alleviate my pain
Cardiologists suggest to change my heart
Psychiatrists prescribe me her kiss
God tells me that she’s my medicine

I hate her presence just like her absence
She’s a powerful sweet witch of love
I avoid sleeping because she’s there 
Even though she’ll make me suffer to my death
I won’t give up until I get my prescription on her lips


Details | Free verse | |

the Angry Soup of Racism

ain't it a shame

when hate lynches 
a 14 year old Colored boy
in 1955 Mississippi
and blows away the dreams of
four innocent little Negro girls 
in 1963 Birmingham, Alabama

yeah 
bus that to your segregated thoughts
as I interracially walk you 
through Little Rock, Arkansas
with Daisy Bates & nine Black Children
to march along side the National Guard
on their way to a lily white school 
as the message of this 
un-segregates & untangles  
the history of hate
attackin’ Negroes in 1957
whose only desire was to be educated 
and schooled too

racism & hate
doesn’t try to guide 
the white citizen council back 
to their good senses 
‘cause racism 
don’t care ‘bout nobody
being Jewish or Colored
when it needs to 
fire-bomb          
Negro churches with Negroes in them
or feels the need to hang someone 
from a tree out of existence
racism even devours its own kkklan
as the innocent
pay the ultimate price

racism doesn’t care 
if your church is the 16th Street Baptist
and 14 yr. old  Addie Mae Collins 
is one of the four black Alabama children 
killed in attendance        
racism ain’t concerned about
you being white either
or your last name being
White
Black
Brown 
Till 
Schwerner 
Evers
Liuzzo
Mandela
Martin or Rodney King
and so many other names
that we’ll never know of
that racism wounded or buried six feet
under hate  

racism doesn’t care about 
what kinda NAACP dream 
you’re having 
or concerned about your last name
being "Parks" in 1955
when it attempts to guide you back
to the "Colored" section of the bus
where you know your
civil-rights will be denied
every time you allow 
" segregation & discrimination"
to collects its fare

racism & its hateful followers
have no regard at all 
for one’s race / religion
or sexual persuasion

especially when racism peers 
into its discriminating mirror
century after century
time after time 
day after day
and tells itself in 2006
"it’s better than you"
because you’re "cultured" different
from them"

yeah
racism stirs an ugly pot of soup
that no one should ever have to taste.


Details | Free verse | |

i am being terrorised

my name is troy jeremy nelson......

I am being terrorised

for years and years and years

 

Im excetionally angry about this

 

someone needs to come talk to me, without your terroris anthrax you call psychiatric 
medications

 

 

IT IS MY TURN TO SMILE

isnt smiling FUN!~!!!!!

 

 

Im about to snap,

i hate this country.

I hate this planet.

 

I hate life

I hate mankind

 

I AM BEING TERRORISED

come kill these people

or im going to end up in jail and die a virgin

 

I hate This Country

 

I hate life

 

I am Being Terrorised

 

I would like a gun

i want to kill the people who have been terrorising me my whole life

 

this world is s
your doctors are s
your politicians are s
your police are s

 

I am being terrorised

I WANT A GUN

I WANT TO KILL THEM

every fu one of them

 

Isnt smiling fun?

 

 

Can i have a turn?

 

come kill your enemy in your own country or just drop a f bomb on this nightmare

 

I am Being TERRORISED

 

have a GOOD DAY, Sir

 

sincerely,

f you America

 

 

sinead o connor

fred durst

pearl jam

drug ring hostage being sold on a black market

 

 

BURN IN HELL CANADA

 

I WANT A GUN
I WANT TO KILL THE PEOPLE WHO TORTURED ME

7000 specialists saying the same lie is a conspiracy

baby hating fu up quacks, swallow your own toxic waste, shove your own cameras 
up your ass, and cut off your own ti ts and ba lls

 

I AM BEING TERRORISED

by the police

by the mental health system

 

I hate this country

I would really like a fu day off

and a blo w job

and a smile on my face, never had one before

 

F you America, fu you


Details | Free verse | |

Wonders of my life

I can't help but wonder
I can't help it but I just have to look back
The scar's that I have healed
Every picture I have is so random
I could cry a river
I can't stop the anger within
How can I love and hate thee at the same time
You were supposed to be my shield but you burnt me
You were supposed to be my oxygen but yet you're my 
carbon dioxide
My heart feels like an Ice box
You're a part of me
You're my strength yet my weakness
You're past yet my future
You're my enemy yet my family
I hate you and i love you at times
You break me but yet you make me


Details | Free verse | |

Waste of Time

Let me waste my breath
Scream this at the top of my lungs
Until my face turns blue
You'll never learn
I'll never learn
And I'll never disconnect this bad habit
You need me like a a druggie needs his needles
I need you like a bullet to the head
We existed once
We exist now
Just crumbling apart until nothing is left
So many years spent
In obidience, biting my tongue until it bled
Of wonderful laughs and bliss 
Memories that are inseperable to my heart
But what we have is headed for the grave 
Where it will lay it's head and rest in peace
This friendship has reached it's expiration date
Unraveled with time like an antique rug
You're the one pulling the strings, kneading the threads apart
I'm the one trying to sew it up on the other end
Stabbing and pricking my fingers till they bleed
Working in vain to stitch this friendship
Stitch this gaping hole, splattered in blood from these hands
That have worked hours, days, weeks, and months
To fix this while you unravel it
Down to nothing but the single threat that made it.
I'm wasting my breath
and I'm wasting my time
To salvage a friendship
That wasn't friendship


Details | Free verse | |

Bottom Feeder of My Heart

Resentment,
rising into a spore,
of keep-forever
bitterness,

bars peace of
yesterday, today
tomorrow.


Kathryn McLoughlin Collins
March 26, 2013


Details | Free verse | |

Judge and Jury

Should I disregard
what other people think or,
balanced on the brink, maintain
a thin-veneered façade?
Where shall I store,
how shall I keep,
the poetry I must write
but cannot show--
that which smolders deep
and threatens to erupt?
Must I lock it all
securely in a box,
store it high upon a shelf
where none are wont to go?
Would it be likely to corrupt
the innocently unaware?
Should I, at least,
pretend to care?
Might not I plunge into the mob,
joining others of this ilk...
should it be my job
to preach, now the day
has finally been reached --
to walk alone in open air,
free from fear of full disclosure?
Would my revelations stir
those who taunt, who hate?
Might not their spate of hurtful words,
and worse, prompt my avoidance of 
the fate they threaten,
encourage my reluctance to unmask?
And may I be moved, instead,
in surly tones, to ask
who made them my judge and jury?


Details | Free verse | |

The Tolerant Man

He felt he possessed a high tolerance 
Living side by side
With those he abhorred 
Tolerating the smells
The sounds
Of the lesser men

He was of a proud race
Blonde hair blue eyes
Future master of the world
Biding his time
Tolerating those lesser men
Smiling 
Imagining
The day when he would rule
Take what should already be his

Fortunately he was a tolerant man
Tolerance does of course have it's limits
It could only last for so long
He held onto his glimmer of hope
Those lesser men hung with rope
One day their fat turned into soap
When the time comes a joyous parade 
Within a mass grave their bodies laid

But for now he bides his time
With tolerance, he toasts with wine
The visions in his head are so sublime
He wants what's yours, he says "It's mein".


A sad chapter in human history, sadly these men still walk amongst us.
Read my other poem I wrote called "Tolerence" to know my thoughts".


Details | Free verse | |

The Eyes

The Eyes

The eyes so shattered and so blue,
You sit there and you knew
The pain of losing someone close to you,
And you beg for their return,
But a wish so great, can never be granted.

The eyes shattered and blue,
Watch you,
Take the bottle and drowned yourself,
They watch you destroy yourself,
And they know what they do,
Yet they show no remorse, no pain in heart.

You fall asleep
On a dirty mattress,
Held up by broken dreams
And nightmares,
No pillow, no blanket
Just air you float on.
And your blind eyes close in the night,
The dreams come back to haunt you
And the eyes, they watch you,
So shattered and so blue.

Till three o’clock hits again
Wake in cold sweat,
Spiders on webs weaving a nest
In your head,
A cry out for the Madhouse,
Where the eyes so shattered and so blue
Stare at you, through a window with no reflection.

-10/3/2013


Details | Free verse | |

ROLOC OTNI NRUT LLIW TI NOOS TUB ETIHW DNA KCALB NI SIT

  IT’S IN BLACK AND WHITE BUT SOON IT WILL TURN INTO COLOR

You cannot be a dog if you’re a cat
You cannot be an elephant if you’re a monkey
You cannot make a zebra into a rat
And  you can’t be a racist if you’re a junkie

Now give me a  minute and I’ll fluently explain
A white dude will kiss the ass of any African American who has dope to end his pain

When a white man is dope sick color and place of origin don’t matter
Fat or skinny
Short, tall,
They’ve got to love them all
All the ones who’d join an army of white men to rape, humiliate and hate the African American 
and hang them on twenty foot American Flag pole
With humiliation their united goal
And not a one of them would look back
But then there are junkies who have to bow to black 

Believe me, there’s a reason they are selling dope
They got three babies to feed and he can’t find work
How can he get a job when he’s vying with someone lily white
Well, that ain’t right
Pulling the feathers off helpless doves
But if that dove be black and carries in his beak not a branch but half a pound of pure virgin 
white heroin
Suddenly  the dove flies once more
And that’s why more African Americans are forced to deal dope or become a whore
Because welcome to America African

So here’s how to eliminate racism and the rowdy ones who shoot and mean to kill
Get every white man in America hooked on heroin and suddenly he becomes subservient to his 
master
Not the dope
But the African American he beseeches to sell him some stuff
The black man says “no” just to make whitey’s life tough
That’s why a white junkie cannot hate a black man because of his religion or race
And believe me that junkie is going to be humble and treat every black dope dealer with  grace
Face to face
And that’s how to rid America of racism and it’s rhetoric
Because white men will tongue kiss a black dealer if that white man is dreadfully dope sick  
                 © 2011.….Phreepoetree


Details | Free verse | |

how it feels to be stalked by a serial killer and have no one care

how many people in your life that have been murdered?
probably none
my grandfather was a war herp
coma tosed
to have his wife a cripple
so i could run away scrambling from bs people for the rest of my life

11 tragic deaths in my life,
my family and friends
and their family and friends dropping like flies

the bills sent for the ambulance ride
leave me wondering why did you even bother come
to pretend to save my life
to wake me up and send me out the door
without being able to thank the people who just kept me alive

4 suicides, and im the lucky one to survive mine
4 murders have taken place in my life
and three tragic accidents

i have no idea what it would belike to see my family smile
theyre all dead

nothing but bs people come to watch me cry
who dont know who i am
never talk to me
and have no time for someone like me

off i go back to the hospital for more poison
and brag about malpractice
my stomache that cant digest any thing without pain or discomfort
but hey off your meds i can finally achieve an erection

love music by the way
the terrorist psychological attack with my name on it
offering me reason after reason to cry
what do i need another excuse to hate you

the politicians i cant contact
the police force harassing me
breaking my door down to ransack
stalking me to hand out tickets
breaking my nose afer a hostage situation

and its the bs people who tell me 
trying to kill myself was the right thing

the military doesn't care
but make things happen over night

love watching you walk around in your underwear
at my pity party to be happy for you
but im not
im jealous
i hate you for it

your bs people
like these poetry sites with no clue
nice poem huh?

what a read....

go die
maybe after i get crippled they will have the heart to shoot me
but i doubt it
been raped, and tortured, and drugged, and beat by police, and held hostage
to be cyber stalked and have my accounts compromised
off and on and off and on
for 13 years

go kill yourself
war pig loser nation

what do you want me to say?
i know why people drop bombs now
i truly do

put me in a tank
and suck my d ick
existance is my enemy anyway
i hope he quits bothering to live

screw you face book
and twitter is a terrorist organisation
go ask microsoft


Details | Free verse | |

The Times

Yes these days were hard, tough, and stripped from fun. These days they give us unwelcomed memories, and unwanted fights. They forbid us from living, from being, from once and for all becoming family, becoming blood. 
Each day we fight, each day we hate one another greater, each day the bond of love once tied among us loosens and fades. Yes I do regret ever being good to you, because what good is done, you disregard, diminish thought for, repel to take in the same actions course. 
I have forgiven you perpetually, eternally and tenderly, reminding myself what a better person I would become. But all this forgiveness you throw away in vain. All these memories, you forget, what all made us the same? 
And now I sigh, why? Because I pity the days we lived like no other, we laughed like nothing was ever wrong, we consoled and been there for each other, in the times of sadness we did cry, in the times of hard, we held the hands of each, in the times, in many times, we knew these were the years we’d live for, these were times we’d grow old to remember. 
But now, and what’s worst than ever; we no longer remember the times, we no longer laugh or smile, we no longer be there for each other, and why ? 
Because you were too stubborn to listen to your mistakes, too centered to say the right words, too young and foolish to realize you were wrong, too ruthless to want those memories once more. The good in you; I saw it; it was gone for good. And I still wonder; why?, why have you not said the right words, why have you not listened to me for the answer, why did you not be my sister and why did you not allow me to be yours? 
Now the days I spend them alone, bothered, and annoyed. Smothered by the air around me, I wonder what’s left of me to do. What good have I got to offer? More helping hands to be extended to people who would not do the same. 
The times, make us stronger, but also consume our internal glee, and replace it with misery and desires.
And what’s worst than ever sister; you complain to our parents, our grandparents, maybe even your friends, saying you hate me from the bottom of your heart, though I did nothing but ask for the right words, saying you do, I say; that’s if you had one in the bottom of all that shit. 


Details | Free verse | |

Hollywood Vladimir Putin

Vladimir Putin is a complete disgrace to the whole human race.
He is a godless heathen communist.
He is a bully and a warmonger.
He is the human equivalent of diarrhea.
He is the world’s best known horse’s ass.
He would fit in well with the Hollywood crowd,
they seem to love the most gross inhumane people of this world.


Details | Free verse | |

Light To Dark

You think you’ve gone just far enough,

I could smile knowing you’ve gone far enough that you can’t go back again

You think you were careful but,

I’ve caught a glimpse of your true, wretched form

You think you can find a way into my good graces

I’ve seen what you are, monsters with a friendly costume

You can’t deceive me anymore and, I don’t consort with serpents

You think I’m a game to be played but, trust me, you could never win

Don’t underestimate me

You think I’m a joke but, trust me you won’t be laughing

You think I’m just talking myself up but, trust me, you’re the ones going down

My eyes took too long to adjust

Better late than never

It may take a monster to know one but, I promise my teeth are sharper than yours

My first reaction to the hideous revelation that was your form was to weep

Fall to my knees, maybe even wretch my heart from my chest and onto the carpet

Then I thought about the mess it would make

I decided the only blood that will spill, will be your own

I was not weak, but I had a weakness

A heart of soft gold stitched to my sleeve with care

No longer

Now my heart is a stone so heavy

I could kill at least two birds at once 

Being the nice guy is a thing of the past 

Thanks for freeing me of that softness

You thought I was all sunshine and delicate things

When really I had just been swallowing razor blades

Now that sun is setting and I hope you see it was you who were wrong

Can you feel my darkness coming, because it’s eager to hold you

If you thought I was the one who would just stand still or turn to run

Your gonna be the one with tired feet

I’m not sad anymore

Just sick with the plague of your lies

Contagious, and I’m looking for someone to kiss

Even angels can make themselves wicked

When we do, we take no prisoners

Still think I’m a game

This one is just beginning


Details | Free verse | |

ISIS -- ISIL

   Idiotic Stupid Islamic Slugs
                   --
Ignorant Satanic Islamic Lemmings


Details | Free verse | |

A candle in my heart

It’s the smell of smoke
It sends its first warning
When we least suspect
It’s always slow but focused
It surely always creates a false impression
Of being far away
When it’s right beside us or behind us
It’s soft; nothing near hard or overtly caustic
It increases its intensity with bitter praise
It is almost always wrapped up
In a white linen of seeming admiral
It has a crooked laugh
Which shows up when it’s burning with glee
But is full of hate and contempt
It accepts pure kindness with a grin
 Whiles it poans on how to meet the love
The pure love that gave a hand unconditionally
When it had no one and was the center of mockery
It comes with a mixture of hate and envy
It’s always the same
It has never changed throughout the years
It just appears with different clothes
And borne by different faces
It’s right beside me
It’s the crooked smile and the low tone
It was the silence I felt when I began to lead
It was the sharp plea and desire to learn
Not for learning sake
But to overtake and to strip naked
It’s the same peacock that boasted 
And pushed me backwards to see the light
It is the same volatile gas
That burst out from it’s container with the slightest joke
And felt no guilt choking me again and again
It’s the inability to enjoy the pure gifts of love
It’s the joy felt at my slightest failure
It was the same pass received on the field
That left confusion and pain
It was the same envy that connived 
To vote against me
It’s the insults I hear in my ears today
It was the same alacrity 
That pushed her to rise and smite me
It’s the force that made him cheat
Just to humiliate me
It’s the reason behind my spectacle
And the faith that pulls me through
It’s the message that shouts in my ears
Every now and then
Reminding me of who I am
It’s the only reason I learn to fight again and again
It’s the candle that burns in my heart now
As I write with sweaty palms
It’s my only compass and my hard journey
The truthful evidence, that I’m almost there
Just a few meters away
From the promised land. 


Details | Free verse | |

When a Man cries Himself to Sleep

When a man cries himself to sleep,
it is a sad sight to see,
tears roll off his cheek
and onto his bed sheets and pillow case.
When you hear his somber cries,
you can feel his pain
when he wimpers like a child who treds in fear.
No one knows what they do to a man
when they play with his emotions,
lead him on,
take advantage of him.
They don't know what they do to an innocent man
looking for love.
They break his heart that is full of love,
they stab him in the back
when he needs them at his most vulnerable moment
they laugh at him, and tease him,
Do they know what they do to a man?
They slowly kill a man, who just wants a simple kiss on the lips,
they kill a dreamer, a good man, with a big heart.
They drive a man to his bed,
with tears running down his face
and force him to dream of nightmares.
When a man cries himself to sleep, 
it is that saddest thing to see.
Goodnight and sweet dreams...


Details | Free verse | |

Suicide

My life is filled with frustration, hate and anger
But is totally dominated by fear
Absolute fear

When I look into the mirror I see nothing
Nobody
I am stranger unto myself

My actions are caused by pure anger
I cannot control myself
I am violence

I believe in pain
I permanently need to be punished
I am pathetic

I have no other way to release my emotions
Only to hurt myself
And to drown in the mesmorising pain

I am overpowered
Overpowered by these emotions
Slowly they’re killing me inside

I have tried to fight back
But I am engulfed with problems
Problems with no solutions

I don’t care anymore
I hate myself
I am nothing

I won’t be missed
I had no purpose
I am useless

It becomes too much to handle
I am not worthy to live
I take my life


Details | Free verse | |

Photograph

Nothing left of you now
nothing here to see
A memory left by you
soon that will fade, too
where did you go?
why didn't you know?
when I needed you
as time ticks away
my photograph fades
to black and white
no more colors, no more life
no more negatives, just a positive
taken out of the frame
held you to the flame
burning away my pain
so it's goodbye to blame






Written by: Kelly Deschler  motif: philosophical


Details | Free verse | |

Arachnida

I’ve never  befriend her.
Spider! She can never be my friend.
I can’t afford her disdainful sights
In the day and in the night.

Spider! She can never be my friend.
I can’t afford her anything.
The walk of her webs on my face,
When going out should I relate?
Her dirty fingers around my rooms
Upon my wall, ceilings,
And every nooks and crannies of my home.

She can’t be my child.
If she happens to be, I will disown her 
On the day she is born.
She can’t be a member of my family.
If she happens to be, she won’t last long.
She can’t be my in law
If she is chanced to be, I will despise her.

Ugh Spider! I can’t just withstand her
Presence in my vicinity.

I have never befriend her
And never will I.
I have never befriend her fellow arachnids
And never will I (too).  


#May be some one will tell me reasons why I should like her#
Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.
29/05/2013



Details | Free verse | |

My Problem

Born to live,
Never wanting to die,
fearing death to its every limit,
as blue eyed death grabs my shoulders
and laughs with grim
and I fear death even more.
Car crashes, murders, greed and envy
takes me to a place where I can't find hope.
Laughs grow and brings tears to my eyes,
I hope off trains and dodge cars driving down freeways
taking time to sit down and look at my ways,
that push me left nor right.
Up nor down can I see the time tick away
I can't wait till I walk Jacob's ladder,
till a black demon tears me down,
and sins rip me open,
like a surgeon to a patient on a table,
Me, myself and I take time to see the wrongs in life.

Do I dare shake the vines from the dark green jungles
that tangle deep in my mind, body and soul?
I shake with vengence when time turns its face from me.
Time has no time for me
and she takes me by the hand and wastes my life away
with endless heartbreak and drunken whores and buffoons,
who care only about themselves.
The evil souls burn away,
and their blind eyes do not see what they do to others' hearts and souls.

I believe the strangeness of me is that I love too much,
and care too much to actually open my eyes and see what burns away
infront of my very eyes.
I only see what my heart wants to see
my romantic side kills me away,
while my physical being is falling apart with heartbreak and sorrow.
The strange part is,
love was never there to be found,
and the strangeness of me,
is that I love too much to see blue eyed death coming to get me.


Details | Free verse | |

He had a dream

He had a dream 
He stood his ground
He spoke his words 
All nice and loud
He changed the world
With his strong words
He taught us all how to care 
He took his love and taught to share
His anger withheld 
All hardships and scars
Through bombs of hate 
And words past the stars
His heart still beats
His blood still flows
Through the earth it screams 
It over flows
He is our conscience 
Our reminder of hate 
He showed us the way 
Though some still stayed 
We have to finish 
What was started before
We’re closely there 
But something’s blocking the door 
The hate from past years
Is still standing strong
We must let go of that 
Which we know is wrong
To learn from our mistakes 
We need to learn what was taught
Everyone no matter what color 
Needs to treat each other like brothers
We’ve all seen the past 
So lets look to the future 
You can help
Just learn justice from this preacher


Details | Free verse | |

Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here

Abandon Hope All Ye
 Who Enter Here



Ever the edifice
The bold and self-serving statue
Proud ego stamped
In the courtyards and squares
Of those who have diminished ( ordinary )

Ever the hero who by guile
Steals the heroes burial
With self sacrificial offerings of ballot boxes ( rigged )

Ever the flag waving
For the faceless dictators
Who by money and army medals adorned
Assume control
Via  coup d'état ( or money )

Ever the religious fanatic
Behind Iattola, priest, missionary and Papist
Ever the quiet and raucous rapist 
Of faith

Ever the secret of power hunger ( sanctioned )
Allowed to dictate
Through political expediencies
Ever the murder of country men
To rule the country

Ever the nationalistic barrage of pride
For coloured cloth
Defines identity
And not humanity ( human )

Ever the innocent left to bleed
To fill the coffers of nameless greed
And ever the hate to feed
The racial, political and religious idiocy ( bigotry )

Ever the door which opens
For men and women returning home
With the triumphal marches
Of black body bags

Ever the tear gas, riot shield and rubber bullet
Ever the faces of Tienanmen Square
Ever the bodies of The World Trade Centre
Ever the terrorism of lies
Ever the truth denied
Ever love defiled

Ever the innocent left to bleed
To fill the coffers of nameless greed
And ever the hate to feed
The racial, political and religious bigotry ( idiocy )



Ever the door which open
Welcoming home
Mothers and Fathers
From their long days labours ( ordinary )


Details | Free verse | |

You Both Call But I See Only You

I give you devils 
Exactly what you expect of
Each other in
The eyes of each other
Through the tongues of each other you
Fall so madly in love with
Your anger and your hatred and
You try to drag me down into it
Alongside you
Because
Why… I’m your blood?!
No it was never that     the devil
Wants more souls to ferry into the abyss
And I am that frozen wild thing on the bough of that ship
On the cusp of nowhere
Fading away into what once was through
The movement and lost rhyme of nothing matters…
don’t call me
I don’t love you
Never have and baby I never will
Mother my mother YOU are my mother
When I don’t need you to be
I wanted you to carry me through life with love and devotion and
YOU _____!
You abandoned me! Your son
I hate you.
I will hate you till the days
Of my last waking moments…


Details | Free verse | |

Brokenhearted

I do perceive
All the great words I receive 
But how could I be so far 
and yet so near,
to what I believe is fear.

Words can be like a chandelier,
falling from the ceiling.
Crushing every bone in your body,
until your heart starts bleeding.

Nothing feels like it makes sense,
its like I'm falling into a sharp fence
until the blood is drenched from my body
until the earth devours me like I'm shoddy.

This hurt.
This brokenhearted feeling.
This pain.
I feel so ashamed.

Why does bad things happen to me?
Why cant anyone see?
That deep down I'm broken,
But still people play me like I'm a token.

Trust,Hope and love I keep a s a treasure.
But still I'm being measured.
I cant help this feeling.
Nor my heart that's bleeding.

This hurt this pain.
Will it ever go away. 


Details | Free verse | |

This-

This feeling, this torturous feeling
Will not and somehow cannot go away,
I hate it, I hate it,
I do not hate much but I do hate this,
This tension, this agony, this stress
I picture a great deep colored brick wall being broken,
Shattered, falling to pieces,
And piece by piece I see all my troubles go away,
But then- I see my face,
The anger, the hatred I have with my expression,
My eyes filled with fire, filled with a wanting to be signed off from life,

I want to be stuck in my fantasy where-
I am laying in a grass field, Everything so open,
I can feel the slightly green, yellow grass in between my toes
And my hands grasping the grass with my arms and legs brushing against the brittle but oh
so gentle grass,
All around are hills and hills, filled with bundles of wild and free flowers of all
different shades and tints,
The sun gazing, beaming down upon me,
I can feel the soft warm raze soaking into my relaxed porcelain body,
Then, you feel a slight warm breeze gently coming through just to 
Bring the scent of crisp roses along and under my nose,
I take it all in,-
The sensation of being there is equal and beyond equal
To the gorgeously amazing feeling of rain,
Dancing in the rain
I am just there, not a soul around
But I do not feel alone,
I feel the comfort and the warmth,
Of everything surrounding. 


Details | Free verse | |

My Endless Love

I love you so much my forever love
There is no fancy way to say it 
Over the years we grew apart
Because of our differences and our choices
But never for a minute did that love depart

What God placed in the heart is cemented
And our man-made efforts cannot erase it
We have tried many other roads to walk
Searching for that elusive something
All that happened was dross

So we come right back to the start
I thought we did finally make it
That we would be where we should have been
But then you hurt me with lies
You tore my heart apart

And I hated you for this
I lashed out to hurt you as much as you did me
The feelings of hate and spite was ugly
I look back and wish I had done things differently
That I had given you time to make amends

But in my haste to give myself justice
I forgot how deep my love for you is
But not even that hate can take this love away
Because I love you truly from deep within my heart
My dearest dearest only true love 


Details | Free verse | |

Marked With His X

amid shackles and ropes 
with fire burning 
hatred into eyes 
a child stood 
without understanding 

seeing tears wet 
on mama's cheeks
and papa's goodness 
spread hatefully 
upon tracks
displayed as flags 
of their righteousness

worth descended
into slavery
of white opinions
placed on heads 
bleeding into 
superiority
expressed in violence 

he grew to become 
the hate 
that hate produced
with a fierce 
determination 
to offer freedom 
for all peoples 
who suffered at the hands 
of racist oppressors 

by any means 
necessary 
became the creed 
adopted from years 
of watching whites 
cover their crimes 
with veiled innocence 

what is not given 
freely 
must be demanded 
for to suffer 
in silence 
is complicity 
to accept 
is stupidity
to do nothing 
is cowardice 
and he was none of these

no one race 
is divine
only God is thus

and so he stood, tall 
against all those 
who deemed him 
unworthy 
taking his seat 
at the table 
of humanity 
demanding to be fed 
as all humans 
have an inalienable right to 

demanding that truth 
be served 
on large platters 
for the world to consume 
for where there is truth 
lies can not hide 
and hope is born 
into minds and 
hearts

in his life he struggled 
to find that light 
but in time 
he stepped into it 
basking in its glow 
ready to shine 
enlightenment
on a world 
still shadowed in 
hate's darkness 

but he would pay 
the price for dreams
with his life 
yet the price 
was never too high 
for the dream lived on 
and thrived 
giving birth 
to a future
that he marked 

with his



X...





Details | Free verse | |

Absent Father

Who is my father?
That's one question I will never have the answer to.
My father abandoned me before I was even born.
Thankfully, my mother kept me,
when she easily could have given me up for abortion or adoption.
My mother is one half of me, but I was always curious 
about the man who made up my other half.

I don't know where he lives, I don't know if he is alive or dead.
I don't have a picture of him, I don't even know his name.
I know nothing about my father.

Is he a doctor, is he a teacher, is he the mailman, is he my neighbor?
I often wondered, if I could have walked passed him on the street one day,
and never even known it.
We could have been standing next to each other, in line at the grocery store.
And, he wouldn't even know that I was his daughter.

I could have brothers and sisters out there somewhere.
Maybe I am not an only child.
I would like to see this man's face just once.

But, if he didn't love me enough, to abandon me,
maybe I should do the same thing to him.


Details | Free verse | |

Death, it is a sad way to go

Death, it is a sad way to go,
to leave this earth, dressed in your Sunday best
While faces surround you with tears
breaking the barriers of their emotions
tearing their hearts apart, looking down
upon my stone face, upon the face, lays a simplistic smile
that shows no emotion, no teeth, no life.
Death, it is a sad way to go.

People hurry, say their goodbyes,
but when your alive,
they never come around, they never call, they never even think
of you and how you are feeling.
While you walk the streets, with a smile on your face,
nothing but knives stick sharpe in my back and gossip
burns a hole in my soul and heart;
but I keep on walking and smiling.
I keep rolling on through like a summer hurricane
tears apart a coastal city in the heat of June weather,
Walking till death comes to shake my hand and grin at my soul.

Then as you lay their in your casket
with a buqouet of your favorite flowers, (Roses and Tulips)
they sit around you, the same faces, the same blind eyes
and they all shed tears and says good things.
Too late for that don't you think?
Death, it is a sad way to go, but what relief you get,
when finally departing in peace and leaving the drama
and careless people in your life.
After I am put six feet under, a week of crying passes,
After two weeks I am lost and long forgotten,
nothing but a stone at my cranium to keep me company
and my new friends, who sleep along next to me.
Dead and forgotten, but the dead never forget their fellow lost souls.
Only the living forget such souls that were so good to them,
now they are gone,
I am gone.
How do you feel, now that I am gone?

Death, it is a sad way to go, but what peace you recieve in Paradise.


Details | Free verse | |

Missing

I hate that I can't see you
or hear your gentle song
Life is unfair to me
How do I move on

Can I take the steps without you
Will my tears turn to smiles
Can I run against the winds
or crawl for miles and miles

I hate it when I can't see you
or hear your gentle song
Please life care for me
Then together we can move on


Details | Free verse | |

Burn Away

BURN AWAY

We have all lost our way
To see starlight gazers
And men with broken hearts,
Seeking love in all of the wrong places;
Vacant lots, where women all looking for something,
But not quite knowing what they look for.
We have all lost our way.

The only hope of humanity
Is the shining sun
That breaks through the blinds of my window,
And the faint memory of me and her
Lying on our backs in a grassy meadow,
Holding hands
Looked up and counted stars.

Cities burn away,
Sky, stars, moon, sun all burn away;
The grassy meadow
Where we once lay, all burns away
Everything burns away,
Memory and desire and love all burn away
With the snap of a finger, and a new man
In her own life,
And I burn away.

A picture of her hung high and praised,
A picture of me, in a dark box
That collects dust, in some lonesome
And dusty, cobweb infested attic.
And I burn away with a new day.
I burn away.

A nightmare that I can’t awake from,
It is endless and repeats
When thoughts of her are all over my mind,
I cannot take such nightmarish reality
Too see her and smile,
And she walks away without a trace
Of ever returning.
And I cry,
And I burn away,
The tears wash the fire away,
And turn me to ash,
The wind picks me up and takes me away.

And for one peaceful moment,
I do not cry,
I do not burn away.
For a moment I am happy
And I smile,
And go away for a while
And let them all sleep in peace.

-10/2/2013-


Details | Free verse | |

You Cut me Out of Your Life- For Those Tired of My Mush

You cut me out of your life
I’ll butcher you out of mine
Chop chop chop chop
There go the memories
The images
With one fell swoop
I've decapitated your smile

CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP
There go the words
Torn away like extra slabs of fat

Oh…yes, there go the juicy chunks of 
sentiment
I had for you
Those I didn't chop
Those I sawed away...
Chainsawed
So the blood splattered everywhere
And made me sick
To the core
What a fool I've been

Slice Slice Slice Slice
Deep into the red meat of the heart
Slicing away every reminder
Of your touch
And every word
Every look
That made me smile
And go weak inside

YES….blood drenched and gory
I pick up what’s left of your image
And douse it in acid
…………..

I nearly suffocate in the fumes
Tit for tat
But I did better than that
I didn't cut you out of my life
I butchered you out of existence….
Ah…much better now!
I’m smiling….
With blood red tears
Rolling down my cheeks.

Eileen Manassian Ghali


Details | Free verse | |

Flat Canvas

Flat canvas;

Bubbling brown ridges strike 
The confining dimensions in a hostile yawn: 
Upwards, Outwards.

Walk the world no longer, an ending beckons, 
A precipice builds moments where swallows wager wings 
On new seed: New breeds.
Falling buys the assurance of seconds
From a sinking well. 
Oh well.

Remember us when the globe begins to slip,
Bang drums for our pity:
Our crescendos mean less than meaningless.
And then, when spheres crack, continue 
On the whorl of a thumb, 
Stretching hope to nothing.
Run.


Details | Free verse | |

Feminazi

What in hell is a feminazi?
I consider myself to be an open minded person
willing to learn new and modern things,
but by just the sound of this word
tells me it has a hate filled meaning
which I for one have no need or desire to know.
I have one question: Can’t we all just get along?
I guess the answer to that question is: Hell No!


Details | Free verse | |

Her Final Words

"No." She whispered before drowning into her sorrows.
Her life had been a simple happy one. 
There were no pains and no troubles.
Life was life and people were people.
Life was simple.
and life was all about tomorrows.
Life didn't know about sorrows.
Her sorrows.
Those same sorrows that she drowned in never existed. 
They were never there, but where?
First to be sad in the naive town of joy.
Sorrow became contagious and what was known as happiness no longer was there.
It was non-exististent. 
A meager thought 
and a blessed memory.
She tried and tried.
She failed and failed.
Life was no longer hers.
For Pain was her only possession.
Her curse.
She lived and she died.
Yet, her legacy was passed on.
Never was it gone.
"No." She whispered before drowning in her sorrows, 
"Save them."


Details | Free verse | |

Let Me Go

Let Me Go!
I don't want this anymore!
I can't go to sleep at night,
all I seem to do is write.

Sometimes I read...
I read until I finish.
When I finally go to sleep,
I hear the sound of the alarm "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!"

Oh gosh,
I can't handle this anymore.
I am going crazy here
and no one seems to notice it, my dear.

I cry myself to sleep.
telling myself everything will get better.
BUT IT DOESN'T!
And I know I mustn't

but I want that knife
just as much as I want that gun
I hate this world
and everything about this girl

She sings and tries to get attention
yet no one gives her the time of day.
She falls into the books she reads
no one knowing, it is escaping, she pleads.

This girl is me,
oh but you knew, right?
Since all I ever talk about is me!
Gosh, can't you see?

I'm my enemy!
I'm my own nightmare!
No one is hurting me!
It is me who shouldn't be let free!

Lock me up! 
Kill me!
That way I won't harm myself...
I'd like it if it was someone else

Please, do me the favor
and let me go
for no one can save this girl
from this cruel world.


Details | Free verse | |

Here's to the deadbeat dads

All these years at home, me and my momma alone
Daddy on the run, headed for the sun, he must of been..
Because I obviously wasn't his sunshine

Growing up wishing you were there when I had something to say
But now it's on pause, just like I am to write this
There's no more fightin' it, I hate you daddy
And I love writing it

All the love and hate will come out, I'll be spittin' **** you
And failure out of my mouth. And when I stop talkin'
I'll be in a craze, glaring at him
With my hate my hate and rage gaze

I'll kick up my feet, scuff dirt in his face
Tell him I put weed and lines of cocaine in his place
And enjoy the disgrace upon his face
And tell him that it's his fault for tappin' out in the first place

Left alone in this world of demons
Trying to find my halo in this crazy maze
Raising myself, daddy left
And mommas worrying about her ownself

Life ain't always a perfect song, it skips and studders
Fear, something nothing can cover
My will is what I discovered, feelings uncovered
She starts thinking and wonders

Here dad, I'm gonna use brain
Yeah, I'm a smart ass
Seventeen years later 
And I'm pouring my heart out, at last

Making it my point, I'm taking off my mask
Getting it off my chest, and laying these demons to rest

But **** me and the way I lived
Playing dirty and not letting my emotions show
Couldn't find mine
So I stole someone else's halo

But used it as a frisbee and chased it to hell
Spittin' cards now with cruela di'ville
And I know you're here too, in this fiery hell
I'll find you
And the corner in which you dwell
And when I find you asshole
You won't be slithering no more
I'll take off you're scales one by one
Make you the one who's coming undone

Scatter your ashes on hells front door
Bye daddy, now I'm the one who's leaving
I'll shut it, make sure I slam it
Throw in a **** you and god damn it

God sure damned us alright
But don't worry, I'll be sleeping tight
Nightmares at night, no more
I found my heart at my core

Survivin', tryin'
Leaving this life behind 
And one last thing to the guy
Calling himself my ****ing dad
I'm better than you
And bull*****if I'm gonna let you haunt my mind

End of rhyme, I'm the one
Peacin' out this time.


Details | Free verse | |

My Frienemy

You claimed to be a friend to me but it seems you are a frienemy
A frienemy is a friend slash enemy
In others words you envy me
I hate it I see it but I love it a lot
The hate motivates me to go straight to the top
If I should fall or if I should drop
Your purpose is served due to the fact you love me and hate me a lot
My friend slash enemy


Details | Free verse | |

propaganda the ultimate weapon

In every war
propaganda has spread
many lies and fabrication
to rally support and justify war
to a misguided nation
Feeding fear hate and patriotic pride
for lawful genocide.

Power self interest and greed
motivate those in the shadows
to sell their souls
and squabble like fat pigs
from the overflowing  troth of profits

from which they feed.

The real enemy is not
The man women or child
on the street
but Satan
through the powers that be
that lurk in the shadows
in obscurity.


Peter Dome.copyright.2014.March.


Details | Free verse | |

Whore Knowledge - Queen of the Whores

Led into a pit of serpents by Lust queen of the whores
She spoke unto me whore knowledge removing the veil of secrecy
revealing man's darkest desires
Visions of blasphemy intoxicated on man's blood her words slured
unleashing her verbal assault against the world
With hair of fire and serpentine eyes she motion me to come closer
Coiling her arms around me engulfing me in the flames of Anger dragging 
me into the black abyss of Hatred
strangling me with the poisonous vines of envy
feeding me to Gluttony the mouth of hell
written by Keith Edward Baucum aka Red Seven aka The Brown Philosopher aka The Green Poet


Details | Free verse | |

Hate

You shroud the truth with petty lies
A trait in you I must despise
What once was
Will never be again…

I trusted you too many times
My hate for you based on your crimes
If you died
I wouldn’t feel the pain…

Hate may be a strong word
But not strong enough for you
You broke me once
You broke me twice
And now I’m strong enough to say we’re through.

You disappoint at every turn
Hurt everyone with no concern
How you live
Is a mystery to me… 

I let you in with open arms
Better to resist your charms
Maybe then
I could have remained free…

Hate may be a strong word
But not strong enough for you
You broke me once
You broke me twice
And now I’m strong enough to say we’re through.


Details | Free verse | |

Africa III

Heart pounding
Nervous feeling
Overwhelming
Deep breath to shake it
Cold chill slivers down fast

Beating against cage of heart
Cage of body
Cage of soul
Legs begging to run
Heart aching to be free
Truth to self 
aching to be seen

Sweet scent of dry savannah plains
Sharp smell of thorny veins
The aroma of Africa surrounds
Scents sights sounds 
In these home is found

Frustration mounts 
Captured leopard
Bound

Snarling at every motion made
Scared but defiant
Blinded by fear and rage

Paws long for endless journeys
On paths walked centuries ago
For elegance in element
A space all her own
Where earth still bleeds red on horizon
Morning and night
Continuing the endless fight

Fight for borderless freedom
Everlasting sight
The pale yellow green eyes
Dismays the truth inside
But tell the story
Of wild soul
Story to unfold


Details | Free verse | |

Who I used to be

I hate myself for letting go
For losing my light
For giving up hope
For letting my faith fade

I hate myself for letting others down
Knowing I’ve disappointed 
Knowing I let myself down
But most of all letting God down

I hate hearing of who I used to be
I hate remembering of who I used to be
I hate wondering if I can ever get it back

I hate that people can see
See the twinkle gone
See the real smile gone
See someone who was once this amazing Godly woman
Is now……this…..

I hate being asked about church
It reminds me how I’ve been hurt
How I loved and never judged
How I needed them and no one was there
How the things they said cut me so deep
How people who I thought loved me
Only loved the idea of me

I felt everything I did
The love I gave
My heart I gave
Everyone turned the other way
They left me alone
God left me alone
To trek through this muddy mess

I’ve been snagged
Cut
Beaten
Fallen down
I’m not as clean as I once was
I’m tattered and torn
I may not shine as bright
Or smile as much
But I’m still marching on
With or without anyone
I trek on


Details | Free verse | |

Red Roses

Guilt has no imagination.

    It arrives in the form of red roses.

       I have come to hate red roses.


  Guilt has no imagination.

    It cries the same tears

      and promises the same promises.


   Guilt has no imagination.

    It's remorse is short lived, 

       Forgotten within minutes of apology.

   
   Guilt has no imagination.

      You buy me flowers,

        then you cry, then you lie.


   Guilt has no imagination.

      It arrives in the form of red roses.

        I have come to hate red roses.


Details | Free verse | |

HATE ME NOW

Hate me now when you can still find your way back home
Hate me now to see what is good for you
Hate me now when your view of me is not what you see
Hate me now in the morning for your meaningful afternoon
Hate me now in this sunny noon so I can melt with the sun set
Hate me now before the crack of dawn for your redefinition
Hate me now for what I didn’t do for you
Hate you now for all the things u didn’t do for me
Hate you now when I can also find myself another home
Hate you now for all the promises you never live up to
Hate you now for I see the sun shines again for me
Hate us together for all the thing we didn’t achieved


Details | Free verse | |

UNZIPPED LIPS

''LOVE always hurts when not on the right time when not with the right person when not in the right place and when not at the perfect moment''
i heard noises from nowhere but the clearest voice was yours yeah, love is everywhere but dear, where are you now? i smell the flowers scent but your fragrance lasts longer yeah, love is blind but dear, it is when every sense do become numb. i hate being rejected but i hate most is when you leave me hanging for something that was impossible to have and that is your "LOVE"
> i am too stupid to fell from a person who will never be deserving for my love <
who is numb . . . you my dear that never felt the love i always give without asking anything or me that until now never realize that no matter what i do it is always be an "impossibe" thing to have your sweetest "YES"?
"do i deserve this?"


Details | Free verse | |

Hate Me

Hate me, but for goodness sake
Don’t be indifferent
At least hate is a testament
To my power over you…
A warped and deranged compliment
To my importance…
For it takes passion to hate
And none at all to be
Indifferent

Hate me…but for goodness sake
Don’t be indifferent
Yell at me, spill out your anger
In vehement words
That wound and burn
I will use it as balm for my soul 
Instead of being fed
The poison of your indifferent
Silence

Hate me…but for goodness sake
Don’t be indifferent
For what is hate
But a step beyond love?
Rejection's retaliation 
Self Preservation's warning call to hide
From a power too great
Too strong
Too deep
Too life threatening
But what is indifference but
The inability to be loved
To care
To hurt
To want
To desire
To feel
It is nothing but the passionless state of
Love’s deadness

Hate me, but for goodness sake
Don’t be indifferent
I will welcome that hate
For I know that it belies
A love in pain….
A love still alive…

Yes, hate me…
And in your hate
I will find the secret
To make you love me again.

Eileen Manassian Ghali


Details | Free verse | |

Scarred Heart

This scarred heart has your name written all over it.
Just like a tattoo that cannot be erased.
Permanently seared into my skin as a constant reminder of you.
At least that's one mistake I didn't go and do.
All of my scars are kept on the inside,
where no outsider can see the damage that has been done.
Even though you broke my heart only once,
when you broke your promise,
the pain was excruciating.

Since then, I have stitched my torn heart back together, piece by piece.
Which was painful enough.
But, now it does not beat the same as it did,
the rhythm is off.
And, when I tried to use my heart, to love someone again,
those scars you left on me, that pain you instilled in my heart,
would not allow me to love.
You are always there like a stain that I cannot remove.
You left guilty fingerprints on my heart when you killed it.

Will I ever be able to love again?


Details | Free verse | |

No More

No More

Feeling abrupt,
Like a volcano ready to erupt
My soul a hurricane swirling
Around my empty mind and cruel
And forgotten soul.

Pain, feelings so strong,
It cannot be described
On a page with a pen.
I snatch the lunar eclipse
Away,
And beauty of the heart goes away,
No sight, no sound;
No pain, no sorrow;
No smile, no frown;
No anything, no everything.

A soul so black,
A heart so weak,
That love is long gone,
And will never return.

No pain is worth feeling,
And no pain such that I hold
Is worth writing away,
No use in finding love again,
When faced with heartbreak
One thousand times before.
No more pain, no more sorrow.

I shall go and sleep away the time,
Till Death comes calling my name,
And lilacs and violets litter my way,
And a single ruby hearted rose
Dries up and slowly dies away.

-10/3/2013-


Details | Free verse | |

The Monster part 1

The monster.
he lives inside of me.
I fear him,
I fear me,
I fear for all.
I try my hardest
but i never succeed,
it cannot be concealed,
it cannot be defeated.
it's power,
it's aggression,
is more than i can handle
and now it's growing stronger.
he is enraged,
at me,
at the world,
and at life.
he wants out
and he wants loose.
he wants chaos.
he wants destruction.
but for now,
he is locked up tight.
And he waits for a weakness
in his chains,
and he waits to rise
and rage again,


Details | Free verse | |

breathe, suffocate


velvet tears slip down my cheek.

a gentle cry.

and the wet drops seep in the corners of my mouth

until

my lungs are full of my own salty, crystalline tears,

bringing buoyancy to boats that sail inside my veins.

as a rule, I try not to cry.

if a single tear is shed, who is to say that another will not follow?

compelling the rest to join

until I’ve immersed myself in the sea I’ve incepted,

and soon

all I see are the opalescent peaks of water colliding with my skin.


Details | Free verse | |

Das Ein Mannlein


Das Ein Männlein

The silent echo reflects through the lodge,
Ein Männlein Steht im Wlade ganz Still und Stum…
Repeating itself in the young boys head.
He is not yet a man, but stands proud enough to be,
Coming back here to relieve himself of his past.
Crying out as he reaches the splintering and tilted door.
The memories of the cold, the blistering cold overpower him.
He spends time collecting himself as the moon moves across the sky.

He had been here with his family-
Says the toppled dining room table.
He also wasn’t the only child in the lodge-
Says the curled up paper dolls in the fireplace.
There was music- Ein Männlein Steht im Wlade ganz Still und Stumm…
Echoes the toppled ivory-keyed piano in the corner.
There was a war, as the Russian Graffiti on the wall complains.
The crashed bomber-plane with the seat full of bones assures that fact.

He came back to the rotting lodge in the forest
Back to the overgrown pile of shambles to find something
As he digs he picks objects out of the rubble, a boar’s head, jewelry, dog-tags,
And finally the thing he seemed to have been searching for.
A baby’s bathtub, with a scrolled handle, stares at him through the dust.
What happened to the other child?
She still has all of her baby teeth in her sweet little baby head.
She’s been sitting in that bathtub ever since that horrible night.
When she was boiled to death by hungry war criminals. 


Details | Free verse | |

"A.D.D."

These are just some random thoughts 
that I guess I still have 
of you, of us, of me, of we.

How you use to call me
out of the blue saying, 
you just needed your daily fix
of me.

What happened to the times when 
we just couldn't get enough of each other 
and being apart only justified 
how much we longed to be together?

"If you had a choice between 
beauty or brains,
what would you choose?"

'I hate hypothetical questions.
Why can't I have both?'
I always wanted to be pretty
and I studied trying to be smart.

"How come you never call me?"
'Why does it matter,who calls whom
as long as we talk?

'You can call me whenever you want,
because I always want to talk to you.'

Remembering times we would 
be on the phone without talking,
just content to hear the other breathe. 

It use to compensate for us being apart 
yet it never did satisfy our loneliness.
Until we just got tired of hurting 
and saying the words  "I miss you."

Because 
if you stop saying it, then maybe
you would stop feeling it and then maybe 
it wouldn't hurt so much anymore.

How can one person's view of beauty
be another person's view of disgust?
Does the eye of the beholder differ that immensely, 
that your own beliefs, you no longer trust?

I guess I knew it was over when you would be sitting 
right next to me and I still felt all alone, 
neither of us knowing what to say.

I hate words at times, 
and the fact we need to speak 
to communicate.

These are just some random thoughts 
that I guess I still have 
of you, of us, of me, of we....


Details | Free verse | |

CLOWN

CLOWN

Hard day at the office – circus in town.
I hear the Sousas yellow, or dark Pagliacci brown
All in all I hate this one here clown,
Striding right into my space,
Hiding the other side of his face –
The hurries, the gestures,
Paint so thick it cracks when he smiles
Paint that don’t run, and this here gangling style.
He trips, goes down, frightens a child,
But the freaking holiday crowd rises, croaks, goes wild!
You think of this here kind, usually, as stubby, or fat,
But this one’s long and slim,
A phallic maypole, that damn well describes him.
I hate the cheering, all the rah, rah, rah,
Hate the noisy wildness of this insane Mardi Gras.
I gotta leave, but then I spot this tiny, little girl,
Fall in love with her four-year-old, golden curls.
She laughs, she gurgles, gasps – doll face so fragile
In spite of flatulence, headache, in spite of myself, 
I smile.






Details | Free verse | |

I Hate You But I Love You

I used to think that you're the one for me
But now I realized that loving you is not that easy
It seems just yesterday that I wish upon a star
But now all that I can say is I hate you for who you are.

I hate you when you are laughing with her
I hate you in every second of every hour
I hate it everytime you look at me and smile
I hate the way you dress up and also your style.

I hate you everytime you strum your guitar
I hate it everytime we start a war
I hate it because you're the reason I cry
I hate it everytime you just walk by.

I hate it whenever they tease you with someone
I hate it because you make it hard for me to move on
I hate the fact that I can never have you
I hate you because I fell in love with you.


Details | Free verse | |

Soweto Menu

Microphone is Soweto’s lyrical bank/ 
Thoughts in notes/ 
Come in stacks/ 
Papered smiles get invested/ 
Digging alien voices and sleepless vagabonds/
Stinking Soweto’s underwear/ 
Offensively visitors undress their stress
On Soweto street engines/

Chauvinism is forever on sale/  
Locals flood in hundred rain drops/
Foreigners flood in storms/ 
Nepotism over rule their stanzas/   
The overcooked black palace/ 
Caucus overcrowded lyricists/
Chase ears on moustached roads/ 

Criminology the study of apology/
Ghetto stars come in gangs/ 
Speed racing Barakwana hospital in bloody pants/
On sentences paint brushes fall pregnant/
Love is lovingly penetrated by hate/
Survival recipe hides under history’s canopy/

So-where-to from this ink tools/ 
Foreigners are Soweto’s gravy/
Eat or be eaten swanky/
Tears flood more than scanty emotions/
Soweto’s recipe come in panties/
Lyrical dentists/
Black on black recipes/


Details | Free verse | |

Standing your ground

He lowered his head
Ashamed of the name they abused him with
He stood up for his beliefs
In return He gained mockery
They hate him, but hate his master more
Never realizing he is what they're truly searching for
But they wont/ They just can't
Sink to the "Jesus Freak's" level
So they beat him....and spit on him
Cursing out loud asking where's your precious "god" now?
If he truly loved you he would save you 
The man just smiles through broken teeth
blood gushing out of his broken nose
"God, Forgive them for they don't know what they are doing."

One day we may be tested in our faith
Don't walk away, for he never forsaked you
We might deal with curses, but he's paid the ultimate price
I will never be anything without his sacrifice
Stand firm and stand your ground
Support your beliefs and never back down
May the love of God be with us all
As we celebrate his return one day


Details | Free verse | |

The Love Story of Kacha And Devayani- Two


The Love Story of
Kacha And Devayani


Kacha

Allow me 
Dear friend Devayani
To leave 
Your heaven like,
hermitage
As I have completed 
All my learning’s
today 
Under the feet 
of your father 01

And as a test of my
knowledge
I have restored 
Your father and my
Guru
From the stage of
his ripped body
And death
To a normal well
being
Proving the
worthiness 
Of his teachings 
By the same
knowledge
Which he taught to
me 
In all these years.
02

I am thankful to you
And to your father
For all that 
You have done for me
During these years
When I was 
Under the process of
learning 
from your father and
stayed here 
In your sweet
togetherness.
Dear Devayani. 03


Devayani 

Undoubtedly 
Showing thankfulness
Is a sweet gesture 
Dear Kacha
But do you think
That your stay here 
Was so short that 
You cannot even
think 
Of some other
expression
Which can cool down 
The melting lava 
Of my heart. 04

Ravindra
Kanpur India 7th
Aug. 2014

To continue in next
part 3.....
  
NOTE : To know the
background of this
story
please read Part 1.
or Use the BELOW
given URL
http://www.poetrysoup.com/poems_poets/poem_detail.aspx?ID=589266


Details | Free verse | |

A Job I Dearly Hated


                               Each summer my parents would take us to
                               my grandfather’s ranch in Southern Texas
                                 to help with different  jobs. It might be
                             branding cattle,  digging fence post holes, or
                                picking cotton! My parents had told us
                                   stories about the cotton fields as I
                                  grew up. I wasn’t old enough yet to
                                      partake in this miserable job.

                              One fine morning my brothers and I were
                            awakened before daylight dressed, fed, and
                               taken a mile down to the cotton fields!

                               We were handed heavy cotton ducking
                               sacks, they were over twice as long as I
                                       was. We all started diligently
                                        filling our sacks with cotton.
                            Under the hot summer day sun, which was
                                beating down. The field was elegantly
                 plowed with neat rows, lined with brown dried plants, with
                                beautiful fluffy white soft cotton and
                               seeds in bolls. A protective vessel that
                         does its job with sharp burrs that make picking
                              cotton by hand quite painful, and bloody.

                               I walked up and down the cotton rows
                              dragging my heavy sack. With blistering
                                   sun overheating my body, I had
                              began to ache, getting weaker, the sack
                                 got heavier every minute My hands
                            had swollen up with cuts that were bleeding
                                 from removing the cotton out of the
                                  bolls. After a while I started feeling
                                faint,running a fever, heaving, then I
                            collapsing to the soft plowed black soil. My
                                   family  run over wondering what
                          had gone wrong. I had developed Heat Stroke!

                               Never again was I brought back to the
                             cotton fields to perform that dreaded and
                                                   hated job!

                                  I just can’t imagine anyone  that
                               would want to put up with the misery
                            and suffering of doing that for a life time


Details | Free verse | |

Blame It On The Rain

Blame the rain for your sin, You said you loved me, I just want you to say How much you care about me. There were a lot of day's I await in the park for you, A pain inside of my heart, I'm destroyed from the inside. I hate you so much, It making me sick. Memories are crossing my mind, I'm tired of my heart being broken. My body walks but I'm not there, I still love you, I don't know why ? It doesn't makes sense, why ? It feels like I'm drowning In my own tears. I've always treated you right, I loved you endlessly, but You love someone else. All I can think of is hate and pain, The reason of your absence In the park is another, But you blame it on the rain. _______________________ Contest: Blame it on the rain Sponsored: Black Eyed Susan


Details | Free verse | |

Pushing the Edge

I helplessly indulge myself with so much hate I could even puke
My hands tremble as I hold the phone against my ear
I push the right buttons and wait for the ring to go off
It feels like forever because you never want to answer

I could hear the heavens screaming this overwhelming hatred inside
The fires of hell burns a reflection in my own eyes
Do you need me to spell it out to put some sense in you?
I hate you and everything we do

Love was such a wonderful feeling for innocence
And yet this tainted heart of mine can no longer pretend
I took a deep dive into the unknown when I got burnt
Your lies destroy everything beautiful in my world

My eyes drown in a turbulent flow of hot tears
I should taste your blood to conquer all the misery
I can no longer utter sweetness to your ears
We are one reality I bite with remorse

You make me scribble all the wrong things
You push everything to the edge
You make me want to suffocate my breath
And yet you are still the love of my life.


Details | Free verse | |

The Poison Ivy


The twisted and twirled 
Poison Ivy
Of Pride and Arrogance
In the misty woods of its own,
Retaining itself to be shown
Or itself to be stirred. 

The gusts of words 
Not able to halt 
The poison Ivy swelling, 
Swelling on the earth of accessors, 
Bringing death to all. 

Nothing left but 
The misty wood of 
The twisty and twirled 
Poison Ivy
Of Pride and Arrogance.


Details | Free verse | |

A Plane Tragedy

A Plane Tragedy Today on July 17th of 2014 Tragedy has happened. A plane with 298 passengers went down. It was shot by a Missal 25 miles from Russia. It was a big tragedy that no one will forget. The passengers never knew what hit them, but their destinations They would never reach. They didn't even have time to put themselves in good with the Lord. The people that died this day are already in heaven. There they will find the peace and glory - that could not be found here on Earth. The ones that committed the crime, won't ever be free. They will have to run and hide. Someone said today- we are able to put a man on the Moon, but we have not been able to_____ what? I say we have not been able to get rid of Hate. It is sad, but it's the truth. We don't need others to destroy us. We destroy ourselves...
07/18/2014 By Lucilla M. Carrillo Note: May they all rest in peace.


Details | Free verse | |

The DEVIL and the TRUTH

The Devil steps out of the darkness he created.
He checks his clock, looks around says,
"Someone will be hated." 
He calls upon the ones he taught 
to fill this world with hate.
He tells them to spread the word. 
For this is the world's fate. 

 pick a target, maybe someone like you.
Instill fear and guilt, that someone will do. 
Their rage and hatred, will take your soul. 
Above all the haters, will break your goal.

They target the weak and strong, it’s their game.
They twist up your life cause your not the same.
They mock and laugh, calling you names.
It’s time to get back at their messed up games.

First thing you do, is assess the situation.
Determine if you think there could be a confrontation.
Pull that inner strength, from deep inside. 
There is no reason to run from pride. 

Let them say what they will 
One thing I will demand 
Don’t stoop to their level
Or you’ll be under their command.

Ignore their digs and pokes, they think are funny.
Always remember The Land of Milk and Honey,
is not a place for these ignorant people. 
If you act like them you will complete their sequel,
of getting another, to hate as well.
You’ll be in heaven, they’ll be in hell


Details | Free verse | |

MY LOVELY HATE SPEECH

Open Letter to you,

MY LOVELY HATE SPEECH
I hate my speech today, yesterday and the day dust rises.
I was there opening my eyes carelessly, smiling like an idiot
I was gazing shamelessly, walking like an idler without course
Little did I notice my vehicle lose direction; little did I notice my head bleeding
I was just there; the settled dust rising, tables turning, grenades and bullets are now apples
Little did I know the power in my lovely hate speech. 

What pride did we get after slaughtering fellow Kenyans like goats,
What are the stuttering rifles rattling about, are humans turning game,
What are the grenades doing in civilian pockets, are they keys
Why are the churches burning, you cannot tell me tis the holy ghost fire,
What has that neighbour done, why is that policeman lying there,
Why is no body answering me, am I alone, or are you wondering too
Should I assess the power in my lovely hate speech, am concerned.

My love speech I hate you, my hate speech I love you
Both speeches are one, are the same, of same taste, I hate my passion for you
I love my fellow politician, i love his dirge during my friend’s burial
You bleeding mammoth my friend, I like your corrupt tummy
You scavenger of your own carcass, I like your greed for power
You megalomaniac virus of a beloved country, we love you, let us be
Little do we know death will let you release us, How uncertain are we of you.

My eyes are full of your ocean, the palace you exhume immorality
My ears are preoccupied with your desert, the desert devoid of trust, and the just
My nostrils have your pungent infamy, your callous greed, your everything
My mind can’t decipher the thought of your sanity, your policies and you
You make me lose taste, you make me look like you, you make me you
I am youthful to the economy, i am youthful to the wise, am not youthful to your “youth”
Little do i know death will let you release me, How uncertain am i of you.

Am talking about you, what have i said about me? What?
I hope I know the promise in my Kenyan Anthem
I hope I have a plan of getting rid of the chaff, the you
I hope am not you, i hope you don’t like seeing me wise
I hope your son is listening, the son that wants my very own daughter
I hope am the government, the government of me, for me and by me
I hope i know peace, the peace am preaching, the peace you hate. I hope.


Yours Kenyan,
Mzee Emmanuel Mwau.


Details | Free verse | |

Voodoo Doll



Some image of hate or frustration
The needles anguish you may have chosen
To stick and jab
In a collective spasm

The agreement to solicit such action
And beat onto the wall of prejudice
The same nails you are crucified with 

Some sacrificial lamb to carry our burden
The complicit blindness we accepted
Was someone else’s oppression

The fine wine and sumptuous celebration
We were belly full
On their starvation

But we will weave the spell of the Voodoo Doll
And hate it as much
In case we turn that same hate upon ourselves
We will not dare to look into the eye
Of a luxury bought  
By the empty stomachs of children

No

We will choose the ragged doll
The faceless and nameless
With which to beat back the stabs of conscience

We will seek relief in pins and media incantations
We will sing the hymn of hate
And burn the Voodoo Doll

We will accuse everyone
And anyone
To avoid accusing ourselves

While every ounce of petty desire needs to be fulfilled
And the craving for more titillates this bored and uninspired ….. imagination
So pushed to the back of our collective mind
Walks the living, breathing, little brown person …. skeleton 
And every mouthful, so sweet with instant gratification

Is a mouthful of ash
In our soul

Did you forget your soul ?

It is your very own Voodoo Doll 



Details | Free verse | |

Bush(it)!

This one goes out to you, Mr. President

This one goes out to you, and your wonderful regime of terror spread 
enthusiastically around the world. Policing the entire planet is a tough job, 

Mistah
President,

and there is no doubt in my mind that you enjoy your job and the 
rewards of virtue you receive after killing millions of innocent civilians.  Bursting 
with honor at the tax breaks to the top
 2%
 of the richest and plunging the poverty 
stricken into darkness. Oh, the integrity of looking the other way while your friends 
eradicate the true meaning of Global Warming. 
 It must be hard on the conscience to profiteer off your nation, Mr. President, you 
have such an 

admirable, strong resolve.
 
I especially enjoy your philosophy of treating your administration like a blanket. 
Soothing the world to a vegetable like drone, oblivious to the surroundings. Like 
an eiderdown quilt, don’t forget to tuck in the corners, for fear that Israel might 
catch a cold. Singing Saddam lullabies and then smothering Iraqi babies in their 
sleep.

Like a petroleum induced  reverie, you spill
 America’s blood for oil, dousing the infidels. 
Slicing freedom of speech to slivers and hiding the dirty laundry. Fighting 
off hate with more hate and thus utterly eliminating any source of salvation to our 
state and situation.  What a wonderful world you have created. And for your hard 
work and determination to drive America to it’s knees, I dedicate this one to you. 
To you and your determination to infiltrate America's existance with blunders, 
corruption, and deceit.
To you and your serial betrayals of the people hand in hand with credit card, drug, 
banking, and energy industries.  
To you and your cynical manipulation of all that is American, to your lacking 
administration, to you and your Big Companies. 
This one, goes out to you, Mr. President. 





God Bless America.


Details | Free verse | |

let the darkness in

Gloom used to be so familiar to me, 
A second cousin once removed, with similar eyes 
And my own tangled hair 
We used to have long conversations in the dark, 
And stroke each other’s faces, 
Mourning the loss of joy’s bright dancing limbs 
And when the dawn light broke we would shudder, 
Collectively, and huddle beneath the duvet 
Ah we were such good friends, gloom and I…
But then as the years passed I began to resent his presence 
Began to hate his guts
And eventually I kicked him out of bed – 
I thought – forever…
Celebratory days passed, in a blur of unfamiliar happiness 
All sparkling and gilded and glowing with infantile delight 
I threw myself into being normal, loved every minute – 
Until the day came when I met you, 
One suffocating autumn night, 
And Gloom rubbed his hands together in glee – 
Knowing that he could follow you and worm his way back into my heart 
Clinging to you like a leech until he could slip inside me 
And colonize once again the mansion he had lived in; 
The grim black walls of my gothic heart 
So you see, my love, I have a lot to hate you for 
Because not only did you break down my walls 
But you let the darkness in…
And not only did you leave me cold and weeping 
But you gave me despair for a friend…
So run away, darling, while you still can – 
Because rage smolders in my heart, and the grim desire for revenge…


Details | Free verse | |

WHAT MAKES YOU HATE ME LIKE THIS

What did i ever done wrong
To make you hate me like this
What did i ever take from you
To make you hate me like this
What did i ever tell you or say
To you, that have offend you
To make you hate me like this

Is it that there’s something 
I have that you don’t
That makes you hate me like this
Is it there’s something i’ve done
Better than you
That makes you hate me like this
Is it my appearance, my skin colour
Or my ways
That makes you hateme like this

Why did you choose to be my enemy
Why did you choose to become an obstacle 
In my path
Why don’t you let me live my life 
In peace
Why you always ruined everything for me
Why you’re selling rumors about me
Why you tell lies on me
Tell me what will you want me to do
To pay for your hatrid
What will you want me to do
To let me live my life in peace 


Details | Free verse | |

A Princess' Cry

Tears mixed with anger's dust
Full of hatred and disgust
Disgust to myself and what you did
Disgusted to you for making my heart bleed.

You left me dying on the floor
Bringing with you my happiness and honor
With your knife and your little jar
You came along and destroyed my heart.

You came like a thief at night
You crushed my soul with all your might
With a smile you brought me down
You never stopped until I'm on the ground.

And now you left me half-dead
With only one thing running in my head
You ruthless monster! You prince of darkness!
How dare you ruin the life of an innocent princess.


Details | Free verse | |

Envy

 Everyone's jealous, 
I don't see why.
Do they know at night,
I try not to cry?
Pouring out tears, 
the bruises are endless.
But they're all fooled, 
What a great actress.
"But you're popular,"
they say,
"Everyone loves you." 
They don't love me, 
they just notice me
making my way through
this miserable place 
that we call Earth. 
Countless days 
holding back tears,
after a slap on the cheek
caused by a dirty dish
left in the sink.


Details | Free verse | |

Him And Her

Smile! Click! 
She poses for a picture
Hands entwined in his, 
Faces bumping together, hearts connecting beyond embraces
She knows he’s hers and she’s his
In her dreams- in her deepest wishes
Screams! She screams as she jumps
Didn’t even look but plunged right into love
She said ‘It wasn’t my fault’ 
But a guilty burn stabs her
Ouch! That’s it! 
Just pretend that you haven’t thought a million times about him
Oh yeah! All those poems you wrote, daydreaming, -
Fine! She shuts up the voices
So what? He’s the best of every girl’s choices
He’ll never boast but smiles innocently
Every time she wants to hate him
His beautiful brown eyes catch hers
Poof! Hate disappears
A rush of that feeling called love reappears
She lives a fairytale with him
In imaginary land
Smiling on the outside
Snatching a glimpse as he walks by
Hah! She sighs!
Surely, one day, he’ll be mine!


Details | Free verse | |

Why I Hate You

You utter words that are so mean
that I felt like shedding tears
You have gestures that makes me feel bad
that makes me feel anxious
...and I hate you for that.

You call my name in sweetest way
that I could hardly speak
You smile with all your heart
that always left me stunned.
...and I love you for that.

You all had it all
showing me the worst I have and 
letting me realize the best i always had
that makes me feel great and proud.
...and I adore you for that.

But I know you don't feel that much for me
You'll never have a chance to think about me
You'll never have time to spend with me
'cause you have her enough for you.
...and I admire you for that.

..but for letting me feel special
...I really do hate you..


2013-02-10


Details | Free verse | |

The Hollow

Take rest
No heart
Tear the fabric and laid to rest
Don't let the teeth tear you
Bites are harder than skin

Murder the widow for the poison
And tear your face to reveal the mask
Show it to scare the monsters
Eat them instead

Queen of the nightmares
Eight eyes leave a lot of empty sockets
When they rot at your feet
Spit it back at them

Walk further down the path
There is no light here
Fake your empathy and love
So that it hurts them more
When they find out

Spite is the reason to feel
The rush of pleasure
When the life runs from their heart
Fuel your hollow

There is nothing to fear but the body
And what remains


Details | Free verse | |

Words

Words
Oh how we love them
They lift us
Build us up
Inject love to the centre of our being
Painted into pictures colouring our dreams
Writing or reading or tumbling from our tongues
Words fill our minds and our lungs
They are the wings on which our spirits travel
Ecstacy 
We are freed with their meaning

Words 
Oh how we hate them
They trip us
Cause us to fall down
Words rip our hearts from our chest
We are transported to lands of gray matter
Knocked off of the rungs of our ladders
Millstones tied to our ankles
Desperation
Frustration
Words on a page
Help release rage
What we hate can heal
Layers that we peel
Spokes within the wheel
In the end neither good or bad
We need both happy and sad

No day without night
No surety or fate
Words are just a tool
A gift to satiate
So we all drink
The words that others think
We can love or hate them
But in the end
Words create a link

 
Inspired by my friend Eileen Ghali


Details | Free verse | |

this damn attraction

there must be magnets
holding this attraction 
between us
where ever I go
I see you
on this huge campus
in this large city
with tons of people
and I still
manage to always find
your face
in a crowded room
I hate my heart
for loving someone
who refuses to love me back
I hate these magnets for
always bringing me to you
I hate my legs for not allowing
me to walk away
and give my heart the distance it needs
I hate you for leading me on
I hate you for making me like you
I hate you for making me feel wanted
I hate you so much I think I may love you


Details | Free verse | |

Burn

It started with just a hint of smoke, 
A whiff that made the nostrils flare, 
But raised no alarm.
It was fanned by every little slight
And look
And broken promise
And critical word.

No one noticed
When it finally caught.
The smolder now a flame
Licking up the wall
Of our lives.
It was tame, 
Controllable.
Safe.

But it spread.
It snaked its way
Through each member
And no one seemed
To realize
How it rotted flesh
And poisoned air.

It blistered
And peeled way
Our dreams
Our hopes
Leaving scars
And immobility
In its wake.

Walking cadavers
In a gutted world.


Details | Free verse | |

I Hate the Calendar

I hate the calendar.
It hangs in the assumption
That something will happen.
Not that it should happen,
Or that it needs to happen,
But it will happen anyway,
No matter what I say.

I hate the calendar,
Not because I fear commitments,
But I despise the thought of obliging myself
To something that doesn’t pertain
To my present state.
Tomorrow can worry about itself;
I have enough on my mind today.

I hate the calendar.
Every day is another tilted red cross.
A vibrant intersection 
Of lifelines and deadlines;
Everything I can do
And how long I have to do it.

I most hate the calendar
Because it answers
The question of my mortality.
It screams from every corner
That old adage that now has a new meaning to me:
“Your days are numbered!”

I know I’ll die;
I don’t need a calendar to remind me.


Details | Free verse | |

i love

i love it when hes sweet
i hate it when hes not
but the most thing i love is when hes mine

there are two of him
mine
and hers...

sometimes i cant tell the difference
between him and...him
i know that sounds crazy but...
thats just how it goes...

i love him when hes mine
hate him when hes hers

i love it when he whispers in my ear
"i love you"
i hate when he does that to her

cant someone get me out of this?
well there is someone
but hes not here...
he lives far away...


Details | Free verse | |

Failurephobia

I`m not afraid of living in a small cubicle,
for I love to stay alone in my closet for days;
I am not claustrophobic.

I love to mingle with men of diverse tongues,
do business with foreigners,
for I`m not Xenophobic.

I have zero tolerance to agoraphobia,
for I love speaking in public,
shout among crowds to buttress my opinion and ideology.

...but I hate to be barked at,
hate being a toothless bull dog,
I`m a fox who does not like
being ridiculed and under classed,
I hate cobwebs and  creeping plants,
I`m a tiger afraid of not being able
to catch my prey;
a bee afraid of not making honey,
dancing and buzzing without nectar,
This I will not condone;
to be a bad father,husband,mentor and citizen.

When I roar and the forest shakes not,
and the wind refuses to whistle,
Then!I have failed;
Oh! I`m failurephobic.....




Contest:"What`s Your Fear?" sponsored by Tanya Harrington


Details | Free verse | |

These are the things i hate about you

Your smile,
You've been gone for a while.
These are the things i hate about you.
Your laugh,
Inside you cry,
These are the things i hate about you.
And i,
I think you're smart for letting me go,
But i just wanted you to know...
I love you,
I miss your smile,
A tear still sheds from me,
even though its been a while,
 And even though your gone,
Somehow,
I still hear you voice,
Somehow...
And i love you,
I miss your style,
A tear still sheds from me,
Even though its been a while.
And now that your gone,
Somehow,
I still wish you were around,
Somehow...
I miss you...
I miss you!!!


Details | Free verse | |

Most Call It Hate

At first it was innate
Went on our first date
Got their by eight
Not a minute too late
Kisses on my face
Sped up my heart rate
Wanna take me to Kuwait
Too swift in these skates
Scared of our fate
Got me feeling like bait
It's that big screen love
We trying to imitate 
Just wait! 
This ain't the right place
I love to be caught 
But I enjoy the chase
Can we at least touch base? 
He wanna 'touch base'
Does what he can to 
Make my pupils dilate
Up in my estate
We begin to relate
His eyes I translate
But he ain't my soul mate
His bigger than great
I do figures of eight
Now he wanna dictate
Makes me so irate
In a heated debate 
Make his ego deflate
Plans he had
Begin to deviate
I need an escape
We have to separate
Ready to let go and 
Lock the silver gate
Made a mistake
That I will not duplicate
Always throw it out
If you've got a broken plate
No off switch
But you can update 
No phone calls
I don't need to wait
Love so strong 
Most call it hate
Feelings I got 
I try to amputate
Emotions never easy 
To alleviate
So now it's time 
For my mind to reinstate


Details | Free verse | |

the old you

How can love come and go so fast?
I really miss the way we were.
I still love you even though I hate you
I hate that you made me cry
And how it is so hard everytime to say goodbye
I didn't like that last hug
I can feel little heart strings given a tug
I want the old you to hold me 
I want the old you to come back
I want my whole life to be back on track
The ringing is about to stop
No more "I love you, I really do"
No more staying on skype till two
The old you is gone and for awhile even you're not coming back
I wish I woudn't have got mad for somethings so dumb
So that now my heart wouldn't be so numb
If we could have made game plans and talked things through 
Right now I wouldn't be missing you 
The old you would still be here
And I wouldn't have these painful tears


Details | Free verse | |

You,Why,What

You started it, you made me fall in love with you, you hurt me, you let me down, you lied to 
me, you made me believe in you.

Why did you start it?  why did you make me fall in love with you?  why did you hurt me?  
why did you let me down?  why did you lie to me?  why did you make me believe in you?

What makes you think you can do this to me?  It still hurts when I see you with her.  What 
gives you the right to do this to me?  What did you think was going to happen?  I hate you so 
much I hate myself, I know you've moved on and I should too, but I can't stop thinking of 
you, you were my everything and I still love you no matter what.


Details | Free verse | |

We

Sometimes we fear 
Without reason 
Sometimes we curse 
And scream 
And cry 
Without provocation 
Sometimes we hate 
Without knowing why 
Sometimes we keep secrets 
That ache deep inside 
Sometimes we think 
Hateful, evil thoughts 
Without meaning it 
Sometimes we lie 
Try so desperately 
To hide
From our reality 
Sometimes we try 
To survive this 
Terrible (Beautiful) life 
And sometimes 
We can't


Details | Free verse | |

Razor Blade State of Mind

I'm in a razor blade state of mind,
A place of darkness that's hard to find.

I sleep tangled in a blanket of pain,
On a mattress full of mayhem.
The darkness surrounds me
And there's nothing I can do. 
My past has become the lightning rod,
The only means by which my future
Can seem to conduct itself.
But who do I think I'm fooling;
What's an orchestra without a conductor? 

I once sang out loud,
But now I'm drowned.
The body electric left
Somewhere in a field,
Where it ceases to breathe.
We have no hope here,
We have no hope left. 

My mind is like my verse;
Jumbled and pointlessly poignant,
Hopelessly optimistic.
Scarred and scared and sacred,
It means so much nothing
That it's bound to mean something.

I am everything I despise,
Nothing that I admire;
I am sweat and I transpire,
Not so wet like fire. 
I'm in a razor blade state of mind,
I tell the truth but I'm a liar.


Details | Free verse | |

THE REST ARE WOMEN

Rest are Women! 
We worship Women,
We love Women as Mothers
We seek affection
from Women as Sisters
We are Men

We place Woman
on a Pedestal, We need Her
We use Her, We misuse Her
We are Men

We love our Wife,
We hate Daughters
We flirt Women;
We abuse Her
We are Men

When Women dares! and
Gets down her pedestal
We hate her,
we fear her
We are Men

Wonder! Why God fears
to get down from pedestal
The offerings will stop from all,
Shall ignore even the Lord
We are Men
The Rest are Women


INDIA, THE LAND OF GREAT CULTURE  is sadly named among the five worst places 
for women in the world in a survey.


Details | Free verse | |

A Sad Poem

Sadness consumes my soul
Like ivy growing on an old building
Slowly devouring any beauty
Anyone might have ever seen

All the hope I have ever had
Slowly fades away each day,
Like paint on a decrepit house
Peeling from all the harsh weather it has endured.

I wake up each morning feeling
Like there is nothing left to live for
Wondering what is wrong with me
Wondering why no one wants to love me.

If I am so great,
Why am I so lonely?
If I am such a wonderful person,
Why doesn’t anyone want to be with me?

Happiness is a feeling long forgotten,
Replace by a daily plague of depression.
Negativity is the locust of my life
Anguish is abundant and all I know.

I cover myself with a façade of joy
Masking the true feeling of desolation.
I don the aroma of bliss
To distract from my natural scent of despondency.

How did it come to this?
Where did I go wrong?
Why am I so sad?
When will it change?

I hate the way I feel,
I hate hiding my sorrow.
I hate feeling helpless,
I hate knowing no one wants to love me.






Details | Free verse | |

leave

life.... 
it seems to be some where
between heaven and hell...
love and hate....
living and dying...
who knows what to expect out of life
to some people everyday is a smile....
to others its a cry
me?
s@#t..
i don't give a f@#k anymore...
i really don't..
go ahead and yell and scream!
get in my face and curse!
tell me s@#t that may or may not be true!
send me away!
because i don't give a f@#k anymore!
i really don't
wether you love me..
or simply hate me...
doesn't matter to me anymore
i used to cry a bucketfull of tears at night
when daddy left...
i cried when i told you i hated you...
when we fuss and fight....
argue 
but now?
now im empty...
i just don't give a f@#k anymore
i have no more tears to shed....
no more smiles to give
....
....
if i ever did something wrong to make you hate me like this...
im sorry...
wether you believe me
or not....
im sorry...
im sorry
for everything i've done
today 
yesterday
a month ago...
maybe years ago...
im sorry...
.....
....
...i count the days till i leave...
leave here...
leave life...
just leave...


Details | Free verse | |

The Black Abyss

Sinking in deeper,
No way to escape,
The dark and scary Reaper,
Fore told in the Book of Life.

Is this my end?
Will I ever see the light of day again?
No. My wounds, I must mend.
I must find my strength.

Stand my ground,
Face my fears.
Only then will my voice be found
I must survive.

Break the suffocating chains,
Run from the darkness.
Power will fill my veins.
I will Fight!

Fight the painful names,
The horrid memories,
The demented games 
And escape My Black Abyss.


Details | Free verse | |

Cold

I search for words
To describe this feeling...
After you told me
You hate me...

I remember when 
I went swimming in the ocean
One day in January...
Ice was curled in elaborate design
Of wind-blown swirls on the sand...
Snowflakes mixed with grains of sand
And bitter wind blew both into my face-
Sea foam blew across the beach
Like stray, sodden mushroom clouds
And the ocean waves were dark 
And angry...
It was so cold, this January...
But I wasn't scared.

That day, I had I thought of
The ocean in autumn;
When I swam last in autumn,
It was October, and the
Wind was harsh and strong;
Waves were wild with
The fresh memory of stormclouds,
So they crested high and broke hard
On the beach...
The sun hadn't shone that day either.
The water, when I dove into it,
Was cold, but warmer than the air-
Vicious to look at,
But under the surface of the waves
Still gentle as summer...
Familiar...
I had gone back in more than once
Just because I loved the feel,
The pull of the current, the raw energy
Of the water against my skin,
And I dove through waves again
And again...

I knew it would be worse this time,
A few months later
And so many degrees colder...
I almost decided not to do it
When I peeled off my coat, 
My shirt, my boots, pants, and socks...
The wind bit my skin hard, tearing
Into my warm body, and the gound,
Icy, was like bared teeth against the soles
Of my feet...
Too late to back out now.

So I ran, barefoot, over ice-ringed
Puddles of seawater and snow-flecked sand...
I reached the water, the first soft waves...
I was slowed by the foamy surf,
Which, only knee-deep, was a strong deterrent,
But then I was past it, and I dove...
That first, frigid, smack in the face
As the water closed over my head
Stole all heat, all memory of heat,
From my body all in an instant...
I surfaced gasping in shock,
Heart about to either stop or burst-
I'm still not sure which,
All I could think of was the cold...
It was so cold...
Colder than anything I've ever known...

I retreated clumsily-
I should have recoiled from the ground,
Stepping quickly and lightly
Over cruelly sharp grains of 
Equally mixed ice and sand,
But I could no longer feel the cold...
I could feel nothing...
Could think nothing...

When you told me you hate me...
It felt like that.


Details | Free verse | |

Dont You Judge me

My words could only be understood 
By these who have felt my pain
These who have tried to hard 
These who felt they lost everything 

Don’t judge me because I loved once before
Don’t judge me because i'm scared once more
Don’t judge me for who I am not 
Don’t judge me because you DONT know me

If you know me you would understand
If you met him you would love
If you lost him you would cry
If your alone you would sometimes want to die

I cant write an love poem with the same feeling
I guess I’m not happy anymore
But it was all him
Because I will love him always

Even though we have moved on
Even though we make the right choices 
You will always ask yourself 
Why did this happen 


Details | Free verse | |

the truth about me

i hate looking at myself in the mirror
i hate knowing that i have fear
i hate seeing what isnt there
i hate hate feeling scared 
i hate believing what isnt true 
i hate believing and trusting you
cause deep inside i have a heart 
that has slowly been torn apart


Details | Free verse | |

Bicycle Twin

 Bicycle Twin 
Bicycle Twin 
 
 
There is the thief it may be him it looks so much like him and yes he waved at me 
his gun hand dissing me. If it was not the bicycle thief it was his Twin it looked so 
much like him. He had the same twisted smile the same lofty eyes the way of 
looking at a person like a target to be killed. Eye did not hesitate twin or even 
same person full of hate eye told him take all of that with you and keep it all day 
long eye do not receive it from someone eye do not carry all your hate with me to 
date to remember added pain to bring it in to add to all the total chagrin of you as 
grinning such a foolish grin you rode away on that stolen bicycle twin. 



Details | Free verse | |

My Hard Life

What to do?
When you know nobody likes you?
For a fact that is.
How do you cope with it?
I can't do it.
I hate my life.
It's so hard.
Nobody makes it easier.
I get help from nobody.
No friends, no neighbours,
Not even my family.
My life is a dangerous place,
that no one wants to be in,
I'm sure.
Sometimes I feel suicidal,
like tonight.
But i fight it and succeed.
It always works.
But now I can't sleep.
I wouldn't be able to at all.
I hate my life.
If no one wants me in this world,
then why am i still here?
Doesn't God know i hate it here?
Is it punishment for me or my mom?
Or is it for the both of us?
I don't know.
How can I find out?
I don't know,
God, I don't know,
I, honestly, don't know...
           xxx


Details | Free verse | |

Today's Homily

In those days

when we feared the truth

not for ignorance of it within ourselves

but for the dangers posed

by speaking aloud against the prejudices

of masses too well-tutored in lies and hatred,

we kept our secrets and hid among the crowds,

assuming their rabid colorations, spewing

the same evil venom, spreading

all the same lies, pretending

that the past was better than the present,

that regression to our yesterdays,

the years gone by, could create

for us anew that Eden we all lost,

that sanctuary from our knowledge

of the world, of evil; and,

our regained ignorance would restore

the bliss we lost with our innocence.

That, the biggest lie,

feeds our growing xenophobia --

hastens humanity's ultimate demise.

Time does not flow backwards

in this universe; and there is

no "us versus them" --

we are all crowded here together

on this fragile planet,

all in this together.

We must be kind, and love one another,

or die.


Details | Free verse | |

nothing is what it seems

I wish dreams came true
for those who deserve miracles.
I wish upon every star
that one day I wont have to hope
for a better life.
I pray that there was only happiness,
and pain only existed in nightmares,
and hate was gone,
and love bloomed 
as easily as a rose on a summers day.
But dreams are merely that,
dreams, and 
without the determination and perseverance
most people lack
they will forever remain figments of imagination.
and wishes are worthless 
without hope.
Hoping is a waste of time
if you are not going to try.
And happiness is sometimes only a dream
and the nightmare is the reality.
And hate is the most prominent 
and real emotion in human existence.
And love can be as fake 
as a smile of the heartbroken girl
trying to make it through the day.
And love can be 
as long living as the rose
given to the girl
when the boy has nothing more to say



Details | Free verse | |

Outward Bound

                                              He grows outward and upward
                                              innocently reaching for the sunlight,
                                              armed with only a fearless curiosity,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    
                                              and the arrogance of his youth.
                                              

                                              Soon he will venture out further
                                              beyond the security of the larger limbs,
                                              armed with only the leaves of knowledge,
                                              and the spiritual truth of his ideals.

                                               
                                              One day he will stand totally exposed
                                              swaying in the gentle breeze of change.
                                              I pray he has enough leaves to endure
                                              the raging storms of prejudice and ignorance.                                                
                                              
                                                


Details | Free verse | |

THE FARMER

He sells his soul to tend the 
earth
To make this crown within 
my plate
Yet I am taught to hate this 
man.

In rain or shine he strikes 
his blow
To force my future life to 
grow
Yet I am told to hate this 
man.

He crawls for miles to feed 
me fresh
Extorted yet he toils the 
more
Yet I am asked to hate this 
man.

With crude weapons he 
makes his war
For me he waits upon the 
rains
Yet I am forced to hate this 
man.

Am ignorant peasant they 
claim
Has not a place amongst the 
saved
But which ought people best 
pamper:
The golden egg or bird 
which lays?


Details | Free verse | |

i hate canada

calgary alberta is a terrorist haven
malpractice malpractice
homelessness
malpractice malpractice
bulls on parade
police lies

how can politicians go to work every day 
walking across a chalk plea for amnesty?

calgary alberta is a terrorist haven
malpractice
malpractice
pigs and lies
hate crimes

blind deaf dumb ignorant and cold hearted

i hate canada
a lot

amnesty international 
pull my file

cyber bullied on twitter, sound cloud facebook and youtube

im glad the world is ending
front row seats to watch god do the right thing

i hate being alive.

lies lies malpractice and lies
i hate this country

personal drugring victom pincushion

burn in hell


Details | Free verse | |

Be Free

Grind it all away…
The sadness, the disease of malnutrition, the decay…
I want you to float on high like a feather off a bird
Allowing the calmer breezes to bring you to this world
Grind these cruel thoughts into bits and see the good
I would give you a place to stay if I could
If you would stay, if you would allow yourself to bloom
Instead of blinding yourself with self-hatred and gloom
I am so sick of you hating yourself because of me
I am so sick of wanting to be free
We are…take it all away
Listen, stop screaming in your head for me to stay
I am here—but your cruel necessities drive all away
Lift up your voids of anger, sadness, and deceit
Loosen up your sovereignties—and breathe!!!
I cannot help you all of the time
I cannot save you from the currents
But please…please don’t let the pain flourish
Let yourself free from the bondage of your caged sorrows
Allow yourself to fill up on warmth—allow yourself to swallow!
But upon the excruciating agony—still you wallow
Why do you choose to do this for yourself? 
Why have you given up? 
You know, what hurts the most?
That you accept your pain…your so-called pathetic ways
And drag me straight down with you…
Shall we swim together in the waste of time,
That you have so craftily established? 
I will rise to the surface without blemish
I will tell you once more—be free!!!
And if you only ignore—
All will not matter anymore

I am not staying to watch you fall
Pick yourself up if you care at all
But don’t bring me down like this
Don’t accept the negative wars 
Or like a war, fight them off, cut them off, grind them to dust
I will fight with you if I must…

But I will not accept defeat
Get up on your feet

Believe. 


Details | Free verse | |

Losing Grip

Future held such initial promise
But shallow dreams disintegrated
Coalescing into shallower reality

Despite my youth, pain cripples me to geriatric apathy
General interest long gone, death has become the single concern
A welcome embrace, a welcome friend
Tardiness is expected, as well as encouraged

Release me from these eternally shrinking walls
Allow the peons to continue their superficial pursuits
Never meshing well into the fold, I yearn simply for permanent isolation
There is not enough joy to justify the agony that life forever guarantees me

Nihilism and anger, desires for maniacal retribution, the only feelings I've ever known
Clouded over now by perpetual physical torment, my formerly hollow shell continues to exist without capacity for optimism
Yet without hate, there seems nothing left
Shall I forever be adrift?


Details | Free verse | |

SAVE US OUR LORD


Oh my lord,
When I see people:
Beheading other people
Selling women to slavery
Executing men for being different
Destroying your places of worship
Obliterating civilizations
Forbidding knowledge and
Subjecting Thy creation to terror, 
There is only one thing for me to do:
To Thee to pray

Thus

My eyes to Thee I turn in despair         
For 
To supplicate Thee, oh Lord, 
To save us from all those, around the world, who 
Believe to be Thy exclusive representatives and
Who, the only ones are, Thy divine will to know

Thus

In Thy holy name, the blood of those of different
Opinion shed 
Although 
Love in their hearts proclaim to harbor!
  

© Demetrios Trifiatis
  14 OCTOBER 2014


*One should not apathetic remain before the crimes committed!


Details | Free verse | |

Invisible ailment

I despise you every day  
Pills needed to make pain go away
Tried so many to help me through
A pain free day, impossible that's true.

Patches,nerve blocks,try Botox
Acupressure, acupuncture, re-adjust
Ice and heat, new pills this week
Go down on one, go up, don't peak.

Withdrawals from one, effects from another
Lost another week, I want my mother,
Comfort, understanding someone to care
Lost so many, no comfort there. 

Dependance is not addiction
Explaining those differences causes friction
Making others understand
I need support, just lend a hand.

Living each day in chronic pain
Is no life, at times insane.
I wish one pill will end this drama
That all began from surgical trauma. 

Lowered, changed, done what I should
Educated myself learned everything I could
To find what helps relieve my pain
Because I want to live again

Living a life in chronic pain
Hell on earth minus flame
Having a problem invisible to see
Causes judgement, scorn, jealousy

People think it a sham
Never try to understand
Can't understand when not in sight
Explaining illness is my plight. 

What I would give to live pain free
No need of medicines to carry me
Miracles happen I'm told its true
If selfish oh well, My life, not you. 















Details | Free verse | |

I Love You Yet I Hate You

I love you and yet i hate you
I hate you and yet i love you
Love and hate are the only words that
i can think of when i think of you.

I love you for choosing me
I hate you for leaving me
I love you for holding me
I hate you for rejecting me

I love you when i'm kissing you when no one's around
I hate you for passing me by in a crowd

At first you had my heart ascending to the heavens
Now you left it in tatters and rivets

You said we would be together
That this would be forever
I feel like such a fool
To you i was nothing but a tool

Now i all have of you are memories
So many are bittersweet
That's why i pray
Never again do we meet

So now thanks to you
For many days i felt so blue
But one thing remains true when i think of you
I love you and yet and i hate you


Details | Free verse | |

Paper Back

Slaughtered by the innocent blood lost long ago
Her reputation drops like soap in a male correctional facility
Tying up the oak tree, chasing fancy cars
Her leash finally snapped like yesterdays twig
I'm sorry to see your wife is back
The bomb on this town has been dropped by your top head look
Shrug your shoulders,
Stop whining bro, next time double knot the noose, 
Make sure the doors come in with double locks
Stop crying that the ***** is back 
Do yourself a favor, and just let her in

Love
Bell


Details | Free verse | |

Escaping Depression

Where is the light in this dark world?

I can't find it.

Is the trench I've dug really that deep?

So deep that I can't get out?

 

My hands are torn from climbing these walls

My wrists bloodied from stress

My eyes are red from the tears

Will I ever get to the top?

 

You are there

Waiting for me.

Your hand is stretched out,

Waiting for me to accept it.

 

But this hole is too deep;

My arms cannot reach.

If only I could -

I long for your touch.

 

I'll keep trying,

But only for you.

The darkness is my friend,

But I just can't do this anymore.

 

You hate the way I hurt myself,

The way I cut my wrist

To bleed out the pain

And unleash the tears.

 

So I'll keep going.

I hate to see you like this.

My ways are torturing you,

Adding to your stress.

 

I will reach for these ledges

And pull myself up.

I will keep climbing

Until your hand is in mine.

 

Then you'll pull me up

And hold me close -

Washing away all the dirt;

Chasing away the lingering darkness.

 

But I can never let it all go,

It's just not possible.

This darkness is the source of my pain,

But it is also who I am.

 

If I were to let it go,

I would no longer be me.

I'd be nobody -

A whole different person.

Not the one you know.

 

Then what would you think?

Would you still love me?

Or would you push me back into that hole

So that I can be myself again?

 

So I'll keep a little bit of darkness in a jar

And let it out when I need it most.

That way I can be myself

And yet be light once more.

 

So help me out of here.

I'm halfway up already.

I may still have a mile to go,

but I'm trying.

I really am.

 

I'll be with you soon,

so why are you climbing down?

I don't want you to feel my pain.

I don't want you to go through this.

 

Why did you let go?

Why did you fall?

Now you're farther down than me,

And I'm the one with my hand out.

 

But now you understand how I am.

Now you've felt my pain.

But please don't kill yourself,

Like I've tried to do.

 

The pain doesn't leave

It just gets worse.

You're stronger than me,

You can get out.

 

So climb,

You'll reach the top first.

I'll be there when I can.

We'll be together in light.

 

I love you,

So please go.

Leave me in the dark,

and return to the light

So you can help me out of here

And we can be together happily -

Not brought together by pain.

 

I'm sorry to have hurt you so.

I'm sorry you've fallen.

I will help,

But we have to do this together.


Details | Free verse | |

Pawn

And so do I fall, and so do I fail,
Falling so deeply into this destructive void,
Nothing but ash and specs of dust that were once my brittle bones and scarred flesh.

To not know what is ahead,
How maddening! How so distraught have I seemingly become,
Forgotten myself as time has smoothed over me.

Tricky, sly fiend indeed; master and slave a like to us all.

Do I dare move forward into the uncertainty that is humanity and of such society?
So gut wrenching, thoughts filled of bile at what is.

As we all are from and are the same, yet tear limb by limb the essence of ourselves by one another in an endless state of bigotry and violence; so brightly are we bathed in evil.

So easy is it to see.

Miracles; perhaps shall they see fit to carry me away from the void that is, and from such temptation, as to live the rest of days in blissful, stagnant dreams.


Details | Free verse | |

Firing Squad

Take it away Right now—see here…look here Run into the light where one shadow casts an intent, lowly eye Into the very heart of the storm, the words fall with might You see a word and take sail as doubt and understanding foretell A heartfelt message meant to destroy all that behold Look here! Crush the thoughts that bind you The past that releases shards….murders of ravens Pecking infidelity into your weakened visions Forcing you to turn the other way and not listen NOT listen To the sounds of vibrant declaration driven from the blood of the lost To the taste of defeat lathered in pride for the slowly dying sun To the pinch of the skin upon the tethered limbs Squeezing the wrists holding the ink Releasing…releasing The very blood that drives it! That mind—how burdensome to the mass! Crawling about for purpose Searching—the best for last! Firing squad! Gone— Sniveling snobs of insipient tact—obsessed with some artillery pact Marveling at what sophisticated solidity can do to drive down a life Move a herd of scared animals across a wasteland desired Bile like the water source held back for the more important Sniveling sad, chauvinist snouts tracing the secular age of rot Eating everything they got Wishing for what the sad ones hold on to The only thing that keeps that eye dry Take it away and words go awry In chaotic monotony Barging in matrimony Forcing the impaired to repair Kindling a fire already put out by your thoughtless glare Curse this burdensome mind of the masses! Curse the unpainted lines that omit from my very lips! As I read every scourging fire bolt out All one sees is the words protruding out From a heart so bitter by bitter alone Trusting in the meter, the rhyme, the tone! I left the earth too far to return! Fresh! Lowly, but fresh! Immanent in high regard TO THE OPPRESSED Take it away Right now—see here…look here Run into the light where one shadow casts an intent, lowly eye Into the very heart of the storm, the words fall with might A burdened firing squad faced a mirror And shot blindly Through fear


Details | Free verse | |

All signs point both ways

      Sometimes the time we spend apart makes our love grow stronger
         and make us realize how much we love and appreicate eachother
            And sometimes it shows us how much we shouldnt be together
                      but what do you do when it shows you both
            and its all just a contridicting concoction of mess and emotion
                boiled down into one two infinity thoughts to review
            I hate you! I love you! I need you. go away!... come back. 
                        dont call me! why didnt you call?
               why dont you love me? why do you love me?
   Why do you make me hate you so? Why do you make me love you?
                   Why does it kill me when your not around?
                    why cant i stand it when you come around?
               So what to do when the signs point both ways equally


Details | Free verse | |

why i hate canada

you people have a problem with me having a working telephone and heat in my home

turn on my heat
i pay for it

im cold

i hate canada

you are shint

i am suffering from malnutrition

you tortured me with malpractice for 17 years
i went door to door as you terrorisesd



america you are shint

i hate being alive


Details | Free verse | |

Stranger

I hate pretending I’m okay
when its clear I’m really not
I hate putting on a smile
to mask my bleeding heart
I hate looking in a mirror
at the stranger staring back
I hate feeling so damn useless
so empty, sad and scared
I hate thinking that tomorrow
might be better than today
I hate everyday I wake up
Because I can’t help but wonder why?


Details | Free verse | |

shut out the silence

Sometimes i just want to shut it all out.The noise.the pain.Sometimes i even want to shut out the silence.
I imagine myself as a mute woman and at times I wonder if i couldnt speak would they find me interesting to talk to.Would they want to know me and learn to sign or would they just belittle me pretend i didnt walk by and sign hi.
If i walked in a crooked way and shook your hand with crooked fingers would you be frightened or see past what time has done to me.
If i was all these things would you even acknowledge my existence 
well i am not the mute woman who you may not sign back to and i am not the crooked woman who you show blind fear to
I am the woman with the plain white t shirt and khaki jeans who you do not say hi to wether i should sign shout or smile and wave.
I am a woman with no crooked walk and no crooked fingers yet you show fear to someone who appears meek and humble.
I live among you yet you dont acknowledge that i exist as your equal.And yet the only thing wrong with me is sometimes i want to shut it all out.The noise the pain sometimes i even want to shut out the silence.all because of you.


Details | Free verse | |

half full half hungry peasants

Kings always rule
princes always marry,
jewels of royalty 
always glow through
castle windows

feasting and feasting,
plotting the next war scheme.

the poor smell the duck, the 
gravy.
peasants dream of 
beheading the commander 

souls onced plan to unite for a
cause larger than themselves,

that day is lost 

now we glorify their
stuffing feast

the feel of fitting in with them 
makes you warm inside like a 
shot 
of whiskey.
you are connected with the
fame and fortune; but never
invited to a ball 

tuning into your idols, 
forgetfull 
they have no recollection of 
who you are.
time is wasted on a 
meaningless mirage 

keeping the peasants happy, 
with their half eaten chicken 
breast


Details | Free verse | |

The Love Story of Kacha And Devayani-Three


The Love Story of
Kacha And Devayani -
3


Kacha 

I am aware
How  you and your
father  
Gave me three lives 
When I was killed 
By his own followers
and disciples  
Who never liked me 
And never wanted me 
To obtain 
This rarest of the
rare knowledge 
Of reviving the dead
As I belong to
heavens 
And Gods. 05 

And every time they
killed me
You and your father 
Restored me to a
normal life 
And to what I was 
And what I am today
Dear Devayani. 06

Devayani

You have dwelled
On this land
For many years  
Away from your
paradise
From whence you came
To learn this
Great art of
restoring
Life even in a
ripped dead. 07

In these long
awaited years
I looked after you
Every day and every
night
As if, you are a
part of
My heart and soul
And not something
Which would just
evaporate 
One day 
Like the morning
dew. 08

Ravindra
Kanpur India 8th
Aug. 2014
Protected under the
copyright provisions
of Poetry Soup.

To continue in
next....

Ravindra K Kapoor

NOTE : To know the
background of this
story please read
Part 1.
or Use the BELOW
given URL
http://www.poetrysoup.com/poems_poets/poem_detail.aspx?ID=589266





Details | Free verse | |

Palindrome madness

Flying above streams of love.

Poison flowing streams of hate. 

Streams dried and dead love found. 

Love lost love. 

Love found death.



Loving sounds drowned by hate.
The same hate that tore apart soul mates. Love was much,but hate over weight. Love on a silver plate, while hate on a golden plate. Is this the way of faith?If so it dose not seem to be accurate. Removing love from the throne, making hate chief of the state. Wells of love dried. It only became wet when it cried. Worldwide we cast this love aside. Still I stand by love,side by side. Along side the bonafide.

By: Elliott Bowe
Palindrome mad poetry contest.
The following lines are considered
Palindrome:Flying above streams of love.

Poison flowing streams of hate. 

Streams dried and dead love found. 

Love lost love. 

Love found death.


Details | Free verse | |

No More Lies

Can you feel me inside?
I’m all breaking up
My fingers are trembling
My tears wet my face.

I hate where I’m at
I hate the deceit
I hate the lies
And I hate this life

Don’t think I’m a bad person
And I can’t understand
Why my life is so bitter
Why I have all this pain

Why can’t people be honest?
Be truthful with me
I just need to know
Where I stand, can’t you see?

I’m a tough little cookie
And I always bounce back
Just don’t keep me wondering
For weeks where I’m at

If I call you a friend
Please treat me as that
Be truthful and honest
Can’t cope without that.

Do you know what you do?
When you lie to me
It tears me apart
Makes me hard
Can’t be free.

So if you’re thinking again
To lie to your friend
Please take a step back
And think of the end. 


Details | Free verse | |

idk

In this world of live do God give or do God spend.
In god we trust your money make your life bless for best. Pay why when die heaven give no money life. Said of game now dont take da words an miss name da fame. smh. Cause this world is vein, so i bleed outside to water my mainstream of heart filled out the box of art. A gift is but live so a gift is what give. Present I wake no mistake to my take of day, now I play a one way ticket of gold with sweet palace like chocolate for da kids an family. Can't stand it, well dat make manish no planish; know how to stand it. Nerves get on some badish. Then handle all debts publick an private no childish just so wildish. Judge me not 4 i break only da law of da land with out a sight of the man. Then I walk out this cell knowing every step I take is hell to heaven.
amen


Details | Free verse | |

Lover

her lips pressed to mine
her breath caressing my skin
a touch from her sweet hands 
I am lost in this joy
this love is greater than any I have felt before
she causes a smile 
the catching of my breath
our hands hold fast in the crowd
the people the turn and look
watch as two beautiful women pass
our love is pure
it is innocent of any anger
how can they hate
say that love is wrong
she is mine 
I am hers
we don't hate them for their love 
why do they hate ours


Details | Free verse | |

It hurts

I keep trying to tell my self
I love you but it almost 
makes me cry when 
I try to say it

It hurts, my love for you 
hurts
You have let me down 
Turned your back and left
But I could never speak the words
"I hate you."

The tears I cry are from 
the pain you make me fell
I can't stand the things you do 
You've made me fell like nothing

But in the end I know I would
be lost with out you.
I try to tell myself I hate 
you 

I try to say I'm better off 
without you 
But in the end I still hurt 
My heart, body, and soul 
hurt.


Details | Free verse | |

Injustice

What do I owe to be the
 receiver of such injustice
 from you?
 
Can you search within 
your own black heart to
 find the real reasons for
 your heinous actions.
 
For no one shall assist you 
in such an evil task, nor 
give you an ounce of satifaction.
 
To quietly ignore the acts from 
such a diabolical and fever
 devoured mind shall be my best
 revenge.
 
As I watch you slowly dig a 
trough that will surely be your own
 grave for those who know you 
will surely dance upon.
 
The enemy is within you, yet 
you will not see him until
 it is too late, for you to 
recant the deeds that have
 surely sealed your own fate!
 
If only you could cast away 
all hate, but such a task is
 a tall order for which you
 can't accede to. Await your fate! 


Details | Free verse | |

Leading it on your own

I know it’s hard but you have to try
How can you live your life lie?
You say you hate who you’re closest to, to another 
But around him, he’s not like a cousin but a brother
How can you just let them take over you?
Next you’ll be a singer to 
Just like him 
The changes of you not being are very slim 
You let him dress you, and tell you what to do, How to act 
Becoming of what you used to hate as a matter of fact
He tells you who’s in and who’s out
You can’t lead so he does is that what its about?
You have always followed the crowd
Does that make you proud?
To not follow your heart 
 Minding them and playing your own part 
But when you come around me I see what you want to be true
Or at least that’s what I used to think 
But when I’m gone or your with them it all changes
Filled with nothing but perfect Barbie doll images 
That’s like tonight I’m gone and all you do is talk 
If you can talk then walk 
Show me you can do something to do 
Leading it on your own 


Details | Free verse | |

Flowers

Beautiful bloom,
The excitement of the nation
Beautiful doom
A pure countries damnation

The beauty of a flower
Is that of the oppressive power
God bless the U.S.A 
For remaining strong today


Details | Free verse | |

Do not try to date a writer

Do not try to date a poet.
She will know that you have read her poetry, 
That you know her sadness runs wide
And shallow
She has spread it like oil
Spilling across a street
You can see the light reflecting in it
Like rainbows
She will hate you for finding it beautiful

Do not try to kiss her
She will fall in love with you
And hate you
All at once
She will write poems about your lips
And their tenderness
And their force
She will kick back like you are 
Gagging her.
She will scream.

Do not love her
She will think you an intruder.
She thinks herself weak and you
A predator.
She will seal herself up
Run hot candle wax over her poems
And when the seal breaks
And she spills into your hands
She’ll curse you for not being able
To hold her
Together.


Details | Free verse | |

Hate

A stinging pain falls upon my face making my vision turn red. 
I look up into your eyes and see nothing but the rage and hate in your souls windows,
How could someone be so angry?
How can you go day to day knowing what you do?
I was kind, I was good.
But you made me like this.

Hit,
	After Hit,
			After Hit,

Put me deeper,
		And deeper, 
				And deeper,

Into the dark where there was only a spark of hope left 
But that even started fading as you continued to throw you anger at me.
Was I the one who made you like this?
Me your ’one and only’
How could someone be so angry?
How can you go day to day knowing what you do?
I was brave, I was slipping.

Fading,
		And fading,
				And fading,

Into a deep,
		   Deep,
				Deep,

Darkness that made me lose my mind
You made me like this.
I can finally throw my anger at you.
How does it feel now mother?
You cry and ask me to stop, but did you ever listen?
Me your ‘one and only’
How could I be so angry?
How can I go day to day knowing what I do?

Very,
		Very,
				Very,

Simple.

I can go day to day knowing that I made myself free,
Of all the hate you would throw at me.
Can you handle mine?


Details | Free verse | |

Harsh Words

Wake from the dream
With it's crumbling buildings
Wallpaper paint chips curled down
When a corpse falls in the gutter
Do I scream
DO I SCREAM
And make them topple
Or walk onwards
And with a trendy drink
Sip the heart slowly
With your trendy friends
And trends fade
Do I tell them
DO I TELL THEM
Fade backwards into the mass
To tell apathy apart from fear
Speak out get out die out
Extinction is a peaceful sleep
Cutting through the noise pollution
There's nothing to say
THERE'S NOTHING TO SAY
No chance for growth
When lives hang in the balance
For pretty smiles
Harsh words for reality
Step into the haze
Ignore it
IGNORE IT


Details | Free verse | |

The Night Circus

After dark I feel 
The need to be awake 
In the forbidden world
The world that shows
Me my mirror
Of hope, despair, glory
A true story

After dark civilization goes to bed
Primitiveness reigns away
The ugly looks beautiful
And all are in unison 
Riches and rags
Virgin to whore
We all go through
The same door

After dark the sun retires
The moon prevails
With a thousand blind eyes
One sees it all
One hears it all 
Tomorrow?
Denial 

After dark sounds sound
Sounder
Louder
Sharper
The dark darkness
Brighter

After dark emptiness befriends 
Intoxicating booze
Lighter spirit
Gently infused

Bottled up emotions
The bottle helps …
To confess



Details | Free verse | |

Null

My eyes burn
this website has many glitches.
come kiss me goodnight: 
comfort only.


Details | Free verse | |

Investigating Jack the Ripper - The Bait

He cuts throats too, my dear friend Ramsay!
How can I sing myself to comfort,
Sing wonderfully, as my father brags,
With a cut throat!?
Perhaps the draining of my fluids shall be our killer's lullaby,
As he sleeps soundly with the soothing flow
Of my newly dead blood!

With an uncertain sigh,
I now stand alone, quaking!
Cruel thought imagining despairing fate
How could Ramsay have so much faith in a cowardly girl
When faith is simply what she lacks? 
She is out to find an evil one unseen,
A twisted fiend that can be he that passes—or he!
Where shall she go from here?
Surely she cannot stand in this spot forever;
The rain has already chilled the coward to the bone,
When all she has on for warmth, the foolish child,
Is a thin old sweater?
But, ah, her bone is to be chilled once more,
And the weather, I'm afraid, will not be the cause. . .

-this is a dark soliloquy of a character in an unfinished play about Jack I wrote... maybe a couple years ago? I gottah put a date on these things! Haha-


Details | Free verse | |

Only I Stay

I am so tired of being treated like a fool
i always hear you say that u want to leave 
at times am just ready to say go am done 
i left everything for you , and yet i get nothing.
Am just so tired of everything!!! 

I get so sad i cry at times when i take a shower 
i just sit there let the water run down my skin
think of the past and remember the good things
that happened to me i miss them so much!!!

I dont get to see my family if i even talk to my mom
i hear what did you tell her dont tell her about
our relationship !!! i get so tired of you my life is so 
hard like living in the inferno !!! I wish i was back 
in my own life to make my decisions not have a heartless 
guy do it!

The only thing i want is just to be able to be myself 
i hate having to pretend to do everything right i make
mistakes i want to say what i want when i want to 
i just want to be me Cant u understand!!

My life wasnt all that perfect but back in the day i 
had fun was able to be myself !! But i just want
respect someone to let me be me !!

why must you tell me what to do?? You dont 
even trust me to go to the store by myself!!!! 
i hate you at times but am just so hurt that life is 
this way how did i let this happen !! 

How do i change life as we know it ???  sometimes i
wish i was departured from you why do u tell me that 
you say you dont even love your own son You 
know how that makes me feel !!!??  You dont 
because you dont care !!


Details | Free verse | |

The Downside to Love

You drive me crazy,
I can't control myself,
You make me so mad,
I can't think straight,
You give me whiplash,
I hate you so much for that.

But I can't hate you.

You are my saviour, 
I owe you everything,
You make me so happy,
I never want it to end,
You help me live,
I never want to be without you.

But I'll never be with you.

You break me every time you leave,
I hate that time of day,
You burn me every time we fight,
I wish those moments would never come,
You are my angel and my demon,
I love you.

But you will never love me.


Details | Free verse | |

It's Not Your Fault

The thing about life
is that
it can end in an instant

When the rope of the
harsh words
wraps tightly around your 

Neck squeezing tighter
and tighter
you just want to jump

To end it all to end all
the pain
and the hatred and words

It is not only the words
that push
you over the edge

It is too the fists and
the feet 
that slam into you

Over and over
without
a break with out letting up 

Making you break down and slide down
the wall
and cry and cry and cry

One phone call can 
save a
live, stopping that jump

Stopping the self hate
and
spreading the love

The love i have for 
you will 
never fade or die and i hope

will make you better
to sleep
and to be able to be 

Happy again to 
be happy
forever and always with me

just remember and know
that it's
NOT YOUR FAULT


Details | Free verse | |

Hate and Hurt are the Causes of Love

You make my head hurt.
Like I love in a sulfur cave.
You eat away at me as though
I were already dead,
cannibal of love;
Tears drip with green tint
(the smell of sulfur sits inside droplets)
onto the rocks,
which jut through my thoughts.
This trial fills
my mind and body,
and therefore my soul
of longing and love.
We fight for emotion
not given in which we deserve.
At least we feel our own demands.
In order to love,
we hate;
an abstract term
as beautiful as love
deserves and demands
an equal opposite.
I love you,
because
I understand hate.


Details | Free verse | |

Changing

-I'm sorry for the way I've been
-I know it's not ok 
-I'm trying to change
-But the thing is.....
-I'm not sure how
-I see how it hurts you
-And I kills me to know that
-Seeing the hurt in your eye
-Makes me feel like 
-A truly horrible person
-And it sickens me to the core.
-You hate me saying 
-"I'm sorry" all the time
-But I	don't	know what else to 
say
-I feel I always have a lot 
-To be sorry for,
-But you hate it
-Even though 
-It's in my nature
-I'm trying,
-I'm trying for you.
-I make you mad sometimes
-With me just being me,
-Or saying the wrong thing
-When I ment something else
-Just know...
-Yes I am trying to change
-So even though you hate it...
-I'm sorry....
-For everything.
-I truly love you!


Details | Free verse | |

To Leave a Lover, To Leave a Drug

To open up the sky
To dig up abandoned graves
The touch of silk replaced by steel
And forgive the dramatic implication
But Im getting out
Forgetting faces
Ignoring the nameless
Avoiding these places
Washed away to scrape my flesh
Replace the numb with burn
Suffer the fright 
Set me on fire
But Im losing you
Forgiving the time
Insisting on feeling
Cant be mine


Details | Free verse | |

I Hate You

i can't stand you
you make me sick
what's wrong with you
can't you see that
i hate you
don't talk to me
don't even look my
way
as the days go by
i hate you even
more
you just don't understand
me like others
i don't like you
and i never will
you don't know me
like you think you
do
think twice before
stepping to me


Details | Free verse | |

Jellybeans

The silver jellybeans I wore were the toy.
      These shoes caused jealousy from my brother.
Just as the lemon twist did from the other.

      Beside the house, he walked in my jellybeans.
My mother watched not saying anything.
      The other brother took my lemon twist.
_______________________________________|
Penned on May 06, 2014!


Details | Free verse | |

A Journey to the City of fire and death

I ride a journey to the starry lights 
of the lonely streets of my heart.
Where sadness rules the tears 
of my weary eyes and mind.
Desert sands makes it hard 
to breath easily and feel the freedom.
Seems like all the weight 
of the mountains are over me.

An annum stay seems a nonsense travel 
to the city of fire and death. 
Are ignorance the real promise of him 
to this brainless corporeal?
I feel insane but the real me is dead 
under a constant display of beliefs.
No burial, used only to create moneys 
for services they hold.

What if we leave this desert sands, 
will they learn to use brain?
Stupid question for a nonsense answer 
on a worthless people.
Wish I will keep a track 
and push it to there heart and not be selfish.
Hope they can value time 
and self  improvement for a worthy them.

As a person's views need seven to twenty 
to be done and be at ease.
As one trial be as multiple hindrances
to create huge trouble. 
As a single light be made as the sun 
and creates money only for them.
Slavery and trickery is a game 
they're fully equip and master of ways.

My view in life is simple and basic, 
one love for others and others for one love.
You may not see the hate, but I guess 
the hate is making it known.
As the rushing sounds of the mouth 
are not the real meaning of strengths.
When you hate women's ways you say 
but found of doing it yourself.
Are you to be blamed for their wrong thoughts, 
I know and you'll be recognized!

I dream a dream only dreamt 
by me for them.
But will this views even touch a strand on their  mind, 
I'll gamble for it.... 100% no!


Details | Free verse | |

I Hate it

I hate it when they say I'm pretty
I hate it when they don't explain
I'm not pretty
I'm ugly
I'm a monster no one should love
I hurt
I scare
I'm the only monster they want to be friends with
I hate it
I don't get it
The fact that I'll hurt them more than they bargained for
They'll get hurt
But insist to never leave my side
I hate it
I hate the fact that I'm a monster
But still
We will see how long they last
Before they run
And regret meeting me


Details | Free verse | |

PEACE SIGN



                  War.
           The noise of anger,
               blood lust.
               Martyrdom

          - no heavenly paradise-

                 Holy war.
               Unholy acts.
            Same road leads
                to hell.

         - no heavenly virgins -

                    Lies
               send gullible to
                commit evil
                  crimes.

         -no rewards in afterlife -

                  Wisdom
             carries the sign
               for peace.
                  Hope.

          - ENLIGHTENMENT -



                   Truth
           shall lead the way
 


Details | Free verse | |

My Shadow



Blackness, a dark version of me, badness, negativity.

No matter how fast i run or were i run too your right behind me.

Even the brightest sun doesn’t destroy you, you only exist because of me.

All i know is when i face the darkness you disappear, but to only return when the sun rises.



Details | Free verse | |

pain

When you're hurt and scared for so long, 
the fear and pain turn to hate and the hate starts to change the world.
"we define our thought process towards people.
hate and sadness consumes you,
inch by inch and the dept of insanity begins to flow
in your body.in this world there will be pain and sorrow,
but one day hope will rise again


Details | Free verse | |

Slamming the status quo

oh you want to slam me I don't think so son
ill crash your ship upon the rocks
while laughing just for fun
straight whip out all my cocks
and peck you till your done

id like to take the time to slam the government
but there all just pawns
who don't know where they all went
so I pet them all like newborn fawns
don't you remember its the people who are to be number one

and for the kings and queens
what the hell is wrong with you
want to keep us picking beans
I hope your crown turns black and blue
don't make me do the knocking with the power of the sun

and money
don't get me started dude
I do this stuff for free
any other way is rude
and even if I eat some crumbs I'm above the ruthless scum

how about the church
a layer cake of bull**** thousands of years old
stagnant as a piece of birch
growing with some mold
no wonder they try to rape us cause there really number none


Details | Free verse | |

Dedication to someone i love

Hold me and never let me go
kiss me and let our love grow
look at me, then tell me you love me
when your're around, you're all that i am seeing
I hate it when we fight, and i hate it when we yell
whenever that happens I feel like I'm in hell.
I don't like to see you hurting
So i try to make you smile with some flirting.
we walk hand in hand when wer're together
I can picture this from now and forever
If you question if i love you the same
put your ear to my heart it's calling your name.


Details | Free verse | |

The Friend Type

That's all I am
To all those guys
I'm just the friend type
Never the girlfriend type

I hate it
I hate being nothing
I hate having to be so caring
So understanding

I'll never be more
I'll rot
Just being friends with all of them
All those guys
But nothing more
The friend type is all I am


Details | Free verse | |

To Raise a Sinking Ship

But there was truth behind her statement, correct?
How the words become a shield and a sword
And here they stand before you again
To convey their message

Thrice before they were attempts to mend
Once before it was to sever
And as I type this in the dark, alone with only my thoughts
What could it possibly be this time?

For I don’t even know this time
Your complaints were valid
And instead of attempting to fix what was so obviously broken
I ran and hid, proving my supreme cowardice

I was once informed the last time was the last time
You were right to state that
So would begging for you to return to me
Be a foolhardy venture?

I would have to say yes.

So as I lie here typing my message
The one I so desperately hope you give the time of day
Or night, in one point of view
I have this to say

I do not expect you to return
Nor shall I beg
I offer it only in hypotheticals 
And this isn’t what this is about


I couldn’t stand it if you hated me
For I could never hate you
I doubt I could ever even dislike you
And here I cling to the message I’m trying to get away from

I offer this to you
In hopes that I may avoid your hatred
I’d hate to end our legacy on the bad note we did
I’d hate to end our legacy at all

But that isn’t what this is about.

But what can I say but I was a fool
I offer my deepest,
And most sincere,
Apologies

But I know that isn’t enough.

But what is enough?
I ramble on and on and on across these words
So allow me to end these words
With a few more

If I could go back in time, I would.
If I could fix those mistakes, I would.
But the concerns may have come too late.
And here I cling.

The remorseful fool that I am.


Details | Free verse | |

MY WONDERFUL SISTER

-

I hate the fact I was so tied up in marriage and neglected youin the past
I love the fact that you are a one and only sister 
I hate the fact that you had no other sister
But I love the fact that you kept the family together

I hate the fact that you are burdened by my burdens
I love the fact that you see through life for me when I can't
I hate the fact that you are not respected by your Brothers'
But I love the fact that they know they are wrong not to

I hate the fact that you cannot have instant results on legalities
I love the fact that you are now a solicitor of note
I hate those letters coming to your door to detract from the day's purpose
But I love the fact that you now resolve to deal with them head on

I hate the fact that you are good with the public as I am not
I love the fact that you like the craic with all those you know
I hate the fact we live so far apart
But I love the fact you have given my future a new start 


I hate the fact that God gave you and the family a twin a priest 
I love the fact that I am re discovering my new brother your husband
I hate the fact we you may never engineer our family back together
But I love the fact that God made sure I had such a wonderful wonderful sister  



Details | Free verse | |

Haters

In that hot place 
dull eyed folk with ice on their cheeks
gaze at nothing.

Wrapped in their deadly skin,
they do not flinch 
from the arrows of their Gods.

They are the desolate ones,
that live with anger,
their souls aflame with chill fire.

Among innocents
their blood will flow
and their bodies will rot
in pieces,
forgotten.


Details | Free verse | |

The Monster Part 5

Ha!
Captured!
finaly a moment of peace,
a moment of sleep,
a moment of rest.
He is rechained
This time
stronger and tighter chains
and a cage to go with it.
The battle is over
I rise victorious
I have won.
For now.


Details | Free verse | |

Damages and Diseases of the swinging Pendulum mind: Part Four

The pendulum starts gaining speed again I can’t sleep I feel so guilty keeping you around I shouldn’t I should not do this to you If I were truly your friend I would set you free I should I should So why can’t I Why can’t I function without you woosh, woosh The pendulum speeds And speeds I can’t sleep I can’t sleep I am sorry I am sorry So sorry So sorry So sorry So sorry So sorry So sorry So sorry So Sorry So sorry So sorry So Sorry So Sorry So sorry The Pendulum swings faster Faster and faster I wish it would stop I wish my mind would stop shifting Stop Stop I’m so scared I’m so angry I’m sad I hate it All of it And there goes the pendulum ever faster Ever changing the splintered fragments of my mind Why Why must my mind be so sporadic Always shifting Always changing Like the sands of the ocean floor Always different Always I hate this I do not like this And all that happens Is you get hurt And I’m sorry for that So very, very sorry It’s not fair to you It’s not fair And I don’t know what to do To make it all better To make everything better To make all my tortures go away So that you can be happy I just want you happy I should let you go Set you free … You should keep away from me It would be better For you So much better Less painful Less heartbreaking Less damaging I am damaged beyond repair But that does not mean you need to be You could go Run Be free You should It would be better Much better for you Just let the flames consume me Let the waters choke my cries…my pleads And let the deadly pendulum slice me in pieces Grind me down to nothing Burn me So that my virus cannot be spread So no one else will be hurt So you can live free and happy Because I can’t keep living with myself Knowing what I do to you And again the pendulum swings Again and again And again And again It will never end Never end Until I do Until I finally rest In my watery…bloodied grave


Details | Free verse | |

Voices In My Head

Cheap; Raunchy; Absentee; Tempted to kill; With uses limited to exploitation; Not really them; Some unknown thing; Testing different amounts of pressure; Looking for the right amount; Neon colors; Neon gas; Visibility; The curvature of the earth;


Details | Free verse | |

my inner self

My inner self.

My soul is connected to the earth
My mind is all I know
My life, my art, my music is all I can share with the world
I’m humble; I inspire the person beside me
My family and my friends are my number one rule
Today I can share this with a stranger
Tomorrow I could die lying beside a stranger
I believe that my life is blessed
I have been divine to my friends
I listen with ears memorize with my eyes, my mind is my sacred home
If I could secure this world, I would save all the people that matter
I hate deceit, I hate poverty, I hate rules, and I hate not knowing
Not knowing how I could save the life of the one I know
My inner beauty is built to listen to the one I care about.


Details | Free verse | |

I, Infidel to the moon of the seven skies

I, the red headed infidel 
To the moon of the seven skies.
Hides from rusted croak 
Busted man of desert east.

Being alone walking on bare feet 
They call "no good" unbeliever.
How my spirit look at the world
They forced me their greed evil ways.

For when I, an infidel they say,
Look at star never had shine.
They taught me live on way submission,
I just come speak my soul.

I, the red headed infidel
Would only believe, if fairness dwell 
Between corporeal sex differences,
Man is twice as important than women.

I hate the hate you give,
To defy me between my faith and you.
I'm no direct racial corporate 
I'm the peace loving spirit.

If a rape is legal with your culture;
I, the man of dreams and humanity,
Condemn your mad words.
For I'm no desert man, I'm for justice.

The moon don't shine on seven skies
But lights the earth when darkness comes.
The sun don't rotate in your crying desert,
And won't last its thrown on camels and donkeys.


Details | Free verse | |

911

Sixteen minutes 'til September eleventh. By the time I finish typing and editing... it 
will BE September 11th. I remember that day. In the kind of detail I don't 
remember most. Was horrible.. beyond horrible... don't think there's a word for 
what it was...

and yet...

and yet...

nice to have a date to hang our mourning 
our righteous indignation 
on

isn't it?

i mean...

911 is a lot catchier than

say...

April 6 through mid-July, 1994 
when at least 500,000 Tutsis and thousands of moderate Hutus 
died 
in 
genocide

yah, 500k

or

when ya look for stats on darfur.... 
they're vague... 
but ya KNOW 
in your heart... 


if ya still listen to it...

DO ya still listen to it???

that the suffering there 
outstrips 911 
to the 
(poetrysoup does not allow this particular adjective)
MAX

i'm sorry people died in the world trade center 
i'm sorry there is hate on this planet 
but i WON'T hate with them

or with you

even if i love you 
i won't hate with you

BECAUSE

i love us.... 
all of us

including

you


Details | Free verse | |

Storm

Nothing but a waste
you’re just a reckless disgrace
too much power
for a deceiver

It's not right
I see light
It's not near enough
for me to go 

It's my choice
so don't you treat me like a play toy
I'm not yours
to control

Cause I will storm in after you
If you take her far away from me
And I will storm in after you
If you take her to the grave with thee

You take our race for granted
and you're highly overrated
you're always taking
my friends

It's not right
I see light
It's not near enough 
for me to go

It's our choice
so don't you treat us like we're play toys
we're not yours
to control

I will storm in after you
If you take them far away from me
And I will storm in after you
If you try and take them to the grave


Details | Free verse | |

Denounce hate

Confiscate the blood shade
What map in world is your interest
How its divided borders of hate to bring a meal its own people
Spring Rise or Nuke evils or grater dear friend state 
Are they our priority to put the hot meal in family table
In middle all paying high price and no clue at all
Denounce hate born to dead we're all peaceful
Once please more focus the people its own land.


Details | Free verse | |

Memoir of Goliath




In the habit of teasing, 
she sometimes told him 
that she wished he didn't come. 
But she always invited him. 
Goliath took solace in that, 
accepted her invitation 
knowing how it was issued.

In spite of everything, 
the years in one place, 
Golliath always wondered 
where he lived. 
The child of badness, 
the bully in his heart,
swallower of pride,
he had stood in front of minions 
who adored him, then failed them 
and didn't die or vanish. 
He walked from the 
site of his misdeeds head cast down, 
not wanting to be seen. 
He didn't hide. 
just slipped away 
not un-noticed but shunned.


Details | Free verse | |

Here they come

here they come
visionaries of our time
friends from the old 
yet feeding on our ignorance
subtle as they are 
they lurk privily for their own lives
their net spread in the sight of any bird
taking away life of owners thereof
for the haste to shed blood
their destruction like a whirlwind
deceitfully accruing to themselves


Details | Free verse | |

Mixed Feelings

You wanna know why I read?
I read because books are my escape.
I read because the friends I have in books are so much truer than the friends I have in real life.
I read because in books I am as breathtakingly beautiful as the heroine in the story and not a one-hundred-thirty-three pound white girl with a black girl’s ass. 
I read because the stories are either so good, I can try to wish myself into them
Or they’re so horrid they make my life look like a fairytale.
You wanna know why I read?
I read because the parents in books don’t yell at me for failing a test that I stayed up until 1 in the morning studying for
Or tell me I’m getting cellulite when its clear that I already hate the way I look.
I read because the little brothers and little sisters in books are adorably hilarious where mine are annoyingly bothersome.
I read because when my nose is in a good book, my mind is where that book is, not in the reality that is my life.
I read because the boys in books are more kind to me than the boys in my classes at school.
You wanna know why I read?
I read because I love to read.
But you wanna know why I don’t read?
I don’t read because reading is shameful in the world I live in.
I don’t read because reading is something tedious, a chore you do simply to make the grade in English.
I don’t read because the stories in books remind me just how much my life sucks.
You wanna know why I don’t read?
I don’t read because every page I turn is another homework assignment not turned in, another failing grade to show my parents.
I don’t read because every time I read I want a snack to munch on, and every time that snack is a chocolate bar I think to myself “You fat, ugly girl, you don’t need that chocolate, you know what they say: a moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips.”
I don’t read because what boy wants a girl whose prince charming is not ever going to show up on her front porch with a dozen roses and a devastatingly handsome smile?
You wanna know why I don’t read?
I don’t read because every time I finish a book that was a new obsession, I have to find one just like it and there never is one.
I don’t read because when the hero dies, so does a piece of my heart.
I don’t read because every book I read just reminds me that I’m the freak brainiac of my class, and that’s all anyone sees when they look at me.
I don’t read because the perfect characters in books make me hate my imperfect self.
I don’t read because I hate to read.


Details | Free verse | |

Precious Haiti

Precious Haiti

Haiti sounds like hate I
Rhymes with Baby doc
And Papa doc

Feels like
Made in USA
But Unlike the Mariel Boatlift
The people are excluded from
Entering

Black 
Dark
White teeth
African
Looking
French and Creole speaking
People

Haitians
Unwanted
 
Haiti
Shook the world
Fought and won
A great war
Against the French
But this black
Revolution
This first black republic
Like a white’s man rabbit’s foot
Like a white’s voodoo
Back fired 

On Haiti
Because they
Paid  
Reversed Reparation
For 100 years

250 years ago
An earthquake
Rocked Haiti

The world yawned

100 years ago
An earthquake
Rocked Haiti

The world 
Announced the seismic
Reading

Minutes ago
Haiti sat on a wall
Haiti had a great fall

And like Humpty Dumpty
All the King’s horses and All the King’s men
Couldn’t put aside their hate and indifference
To put Haiti back together again…..




Details | Free verse | |

I HATE ME

I hate you now because you don't love me
Funny may it sound but I also hate me
And now there's already two persons who doesn't love me
The one is you and the other is me
So what do i do now?I bet you do not care
Makes me wanna hate myself more...coz you do not care
Why do i love you so much when I know you don't care
Why does it have to be that way?It just doesn't seem fair
Maybe I seem too weird now making this nonsense rhyme
If you really cannot love me...then,FINE!
I will keep on hating me because of you
I will keep on hating me because you cannot love me too.






Details | Free verse | |

this is more a story than a poem on the school's field

When  i  think of schools feled i always think of the winter days 
  with  your mates in the snow,wind and rain 
the best bit is the snow making snow balls and throing them at techer.
having fun making snow men on sliding on ice having hot chocolate,  but then again some 
people hate winter when it snows rain and very high winds  so they huddle together like 
penguinsin thire black and white uniform they hate the snow balls hitting them in the face and 
slipping on ice and hurting themselves but the best bit is getting your mates i rember those 
days and at a few acasions it has bean an oceon of mud and a copple of island of children 
huddeld aganest the coled. ow year and getting snow of thechers cars to make big snowballs 
it is yousaly veary coled and windy
CAN YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME YOU MADE A SNOW MAN A  SNOWBALL SNOW ANGELS 
YOUR HANDS GETTING NUME SLIDING ON ICE ?
I CAN CAN YOU ?

BY JAMES CHRISTIAN


Details | Free verse | |

I JUST hate IT

Poem " I just hate It".

I just hate it
When you sing your lyrics 
Breathing fire, loveless bliss.
I just hate it 
When you show scorn
Deluding to grandeur
Of superfluous beginnings
Yet rejecting the reality 
of a humble morn.

I just hate it
When you dominate, criticize, deride
Yet your own frailties, you deny
I just hate it
When those venemous eyes
Peering through the shutters of doom
Without saying a word
I despise you,I hate you
Your character, your being, your entirety.

I just hate it
When you shook my world
Stealing, winning my girl
Leaving me empty, thoughtless, worn
And when in shackles of my melanchony hour
You teased me, grieved me
Put her on a pedestal
Parading your amorous embraces
Then serenaded her,  toured the world.

I just hate it
When victors tell the story
Through rose tinted glasses
Then bellows from the mountains
Your redemption is here
Salvation has arrived
We are the victors
This is lifes history
We tell only lies.

I just hate it
When all the work is done
And the only reward, the burning sun
With streams of my boiling sweat
You reap the harvest shorn
I just hate it
When indiscretions becomes your mantra
Principles are no longer part
Yet you spew your maternal virtue
Yet don't give a toss..


Details | Free verse | |

this is nothing

Here is nothing.
The very definition of nothing.
In front of you stands a stench.
It is something that just won’t get away.
Are you disgusted yet?
There are no feelings. 
This is cold and numb, cruel and horrendous.
This is what you feel as you sleep through your nightmares.
This is your heart set on fire,
Your insides turned to ice.
Your best friends massacred,
Your eyes dug from your skull with a fiery spoon,
The lyrics to the silence of Hell.
The tears from your beautiful angel,
The blood of your mother and father,
Confusion to its fullest extent,
Hatred beyond imagining.
This is me.
If I tell you to hate me, then it is in your best interest to hate me.
If you love me then you had best be ready for my cruel punishments.
You won’t have me for long.
I give up on myself.
I will go to the highest point in the world,
The steepest drop in the universe,
I will go there and I will stand upon the edge,
And I will scream my vengeance out to the world.
I hate all of you filthy rats.
I will then make all of my dreams come true.
I don’t care if you say that means I am giving up on you.
Selfish and enraged I most certainly am.
So, now I will tie the rope to the nearest spot,
And I will tie the knot around thy neck.
I will stand up and laugh whilst I think,
Think of all the reasons I shouldn’t die.
My mind goes blank and I decide it is time.
It is time that I fly.
To cremate the remains is all I ask. 
Nothing more my beastly humans.


Details | Free verse | |

Run

I disgust myself with my idiocy… 
I want to break the mirror at the mere sight of me…
I deserve nothing or no one…
Not worth a bullet in a loaded gun…
I am furious at myself for what I’ve become…
I deserve the pain; don’t need to be numb…
Yes, I’m self-loathing, but you would hate me too,
If you knew me even remotely like I do…
There is no redemption for what I’ve done…
It’s hard to hide from yourself when there’s nowhere to run…


Details | Free verse | |

HATE

I know your told as a kid not to hate to give
but it is hard to not hate sometimes
like when your not aloud to live
or when just hanging out is a crime

I have hated and I have loved before
but never have I dwelled on why till now
I know it is wrong an have tried not to open hates door
but sometimes it happens even if your not sure how

I want to forgive not hate anymore but can not
maybe I should try harder to put it in the past
I may forgive but it will never be forgot
Some hurts always last


Details | Free verse | |

Negative Thoughts

Why is it hard to write happy things? 
Why is that negative thoughts are easy? 
Why is that when I’m happy, I write sad? 
Why is it that hell is easier to see then heaven? 

Why do I do this? 
These poems are depressing
Someone help me now

Why is it I’m positive, yet write negative? 
Why is it that I try so hard and fail? 
Why is it evil over good? 
Why does my heart stray away from morals? 

Someone please help us
We are trapped in bad habits
Negative thoughts win


Details | Free verse | |

I See

I see deep into your being,

You will never notice that I was ever there,

My understanding passes foggily over your eyes as you remain ignorant and blissful of what you believe to be the triumphs over me in your mind,

Yet I have surpassed you in knowledge, of the knowledge that matters,

I did not school for it, I did not research for it,

I merely learned to know,

Your mind so inept to handle what I see and understand,

I laugh aloud within myself at your arrogant display of false power that you so think you hold,

So sad it seems from a perspective such as mine, so puny you have become,

On different stages we reside, yet so far behind are you that you cannot even see how far ahead I have surpassed,

Your obtuseness offends me, disappear and be forgotten,

Ultimately, that is your destiny.


Details | Free verse | |

I Am Not Your Daughter

I am not your daughter
I will wear pink and red together
Just because they don’t match
I will dye my hair black
Not only just because you said not to 
But because I know I’m not a blonde 
At heart, like you.  Even though when my hair’s
Natural it’s blonde and when yours is natural
It’s gray.  And how bout next time you
Wanna lecture me about my weight
I give you a lecture on how your issues with control 
gave me issues with my weight in the first place.  
Now I’ll dye my hair red and it’s worth 
The criticizing glances I get from all kinds of elders
Oh she’s just going through that phase!
Because your looks are not less than or equal to but GREATER
Than any judgemental stare I get from anyone else.  
I’ll dye my hair red to un-match myself from you because
I’m not your daughter.
And I wouldn’t be prettier if I had your nose
Some people like me the way I am
So forget you and forget your husband
And maybe if you hadn’t been forgetting dad
In the first place
This premature mistake would never have been born
September 1st 1984, 2:40 am
Sorry for waking you up in the middle of the night, mom!
And sorry for having such a big head!
It was all my fault.  
None of my genes were ever yours, 
I don’t know where they came from…
Probably from hell.  
And that’s why my hair is red 
Burning with hate towards you.  
I don’t know where my head got stuck…somewhere between the napkin 
dispensers
And salt shakers, or under the linoleum where I’d gladly call it home for a few 
days 
It frightens me to write these words
And if frightens me to think of what you might think of what I’m thinking
But you’re my friend and you won’t judege, will you?
Somewhere between a rock and a resting place lies the sound system playing
Rock and roll in my ears and if you’re lucky, we’ll roll in bed
And not a rock and if yo’ure less lucky we’ll just keep climbing
In hopes to reach a height that isn’t even there.
We’ll read the manifestoes of idiots as if 
We were the only idiots who cared.  
Get out of my hair.  You hate it when I call you that?
Well all morons hate it when you call them a moron
Because you’re pointing out the obvious
And the obvious isn’t obviously so great when we’re referring to those traits. 
Now what is it that makes a poem so great?
I don’t know and I don’t care as long as it is and you stay out of my hair
And don’t touch me with your god-awful stares
Don’t feel me with your glances cuz trust me
Forget you and all you do and especially what you don’t
Cuz it’s what you don’t do that
Makes me wanna kill you.  


Details | Free verse | |

On falling down the full stop at the end of a sentence


Blind sight scattered my wits
Like whitened bones
Across the deserts of my mind.

I descended into blackness.
Love shrank into the tame cat
By the fire,unacknowledged hate
Grew to fill the room.
I stared too much,
A full stop grew gigantic
Crowded out
All the words in the sentence
I saw nothing but this dot
Now a gigantic black hole
Into which I was dragged.
An energy coming from within my own head
Sucked me into the black hole.
That place was the wrong sort of dearkness.
Within that full stop,
Love Fundamental became invisible.
Disappered into the dark.
I dragged my eyes away
And saw the moon appear , so eerie,
It shone,grey silver.
If I had opened my eyees wider
I would not now lament
What I destroyed in the wormhole
Of the black dot that drew my eye
Into a tunnel of darkness
It blinded me to the light
Did not let me read the sentences
Beside the full stop.
An error of focus left hate
Unacknowledged,unmitigated unredeemed,
Kept from love or goodness
Afraid to spoil my love with hate,
The fear of hate became
That which spoiled all else else,
By freezing Love itself.


Details | Free verse | |

I Miss you

I hate you for showing me what true love is
For feeling of weakness I felt in my knees
I hate you for agreeing that we should break up
To leave me alone like an unwanted child’s pup

I hate you for showing me how happy I could be
Just to take away my love and the best part of me
I hate you for using me
I hate you for abusing me

The love that you showed me, I know it was true
For I sit in my house and all I do is think of you
You injected me 
Infected me
Then you rejected me


I hate you for I know this love was true
And I hate you because
I
Miss
You…


Details | Free verse | |

Only You

Only you could do this to me 
Close my eyes so i cannot see 
Drop me down to the bottom of the sea 
And drown out the words that my lungs yearn to scream 

Many times you have left me to die 
So listen to these words that i cry 

I said i would never leave your side 
And i didnt 
I said i would never let you cry on your own 
And i didnt 
I said i never would let you fall 
And i didnt 

So i will wait till the day where you will do the same for me  


Details | Free verse | |

May i said

May i said i hate you in unspeakable ways
May i said i see hell threw out your days
The wise said let it be
I said look at all he did 
    can you see

I too hate him they will said
I too see hell threw out his days
        They don't know him
        not even his face
           you judge
        Who are you to play
           God today?


Details | Free verse | |

Your Words

Get a life, she said
Dark thoughts ring through my head
I am nothing—for that is what you have made me
Tears streaming from my eyes
All the past happiness—the lies
Words do matter . . . they really do
They stick to you like glue
I cannot stop sobbing
For the words ring true
I am truly nothing—thicker than lead
The next rhyme will probably be the word “dead”
Damn this mind . . . damn this head
I cannot escape the sorrow
She held it all in
And it bursts now from her quivering vocals
Crybaby, she said
Oh, but you do not know all that I hold in
But you cannot blame them for not understanding
The fault is all my own
I guess the next word to rhyme is “alone”
Wish they could be something more meaningful
Something giving, inspiring
But I cannot help this—I am rotting!
I hate to be wrong but you are right
What’s the use of this sick denial and spite?
What’s the use of trying to live this life,
When I am looking for a completely wrong purpose?
Finding myself downright worthless. . .
I hate being right. . .
But sometimes . . . I really am
And it your words you have spoken
That make it the truth

Your words leave a shameful legacy
Like a sick memory,
Like a regret. . .

March 15, 2013


Details | Free verse | |

I Hate Everything

I hate everything
I hate everyone
I hate my existance
I hate myself
I hate my family
I hate my classmates
I hate my teachers
I hate sleeping
I hate being awake
I hate everything


Details | Free verse | |

If You Leave Me

              
That fragrant smell of you like jasmine,
When you are away, I don’t forget,
Do you forget mine?
The goodness of it I remember always,
I remember you,
Do I bring you goodness?
Will you remember me? 
A potpourri of dry flowers sit on your nightstand,
Waiting to be consumed by you,
If it talked, it would say I love you,
When you speak petals come out flowing,
When I listen to your words that drip to the floor,
I soak them up with my feet that have deep roots,
This, is completeness for me,
If you think to leave,
Then don’t come back,
I, will be gone too!
I won’t come back!
But, if you always love me,
Then, I will always love you,
If ever you should come to hate me,
I could never hate you,
I will lie down with crashing waves blanketing me,
Then, I will  be that sand particle floating effortlessly in the sea,
If you have killed your hate and look for me again,
Then look upon the fading sun in the horizon,
There, you will find me set free by the sea. 


Details | Free verse | |

What If? For Veteran's Day

A man gave me a gun and said,
“Kill that person over there.
Kill that person because he 
wants to kill you.  Kill him
because he has hate in his
heart.  Kill him because
everything we cherish is
at risk.”

I placed the gun on the ground and,
with tears in my eyes, said,
“I cannot kill that person over there, 
even if he wants to kill me.  
I cannot kill him because
I don’t have hate in my heart.
I cannot kill him because, 
if I did, everything I cherish
would be at risk.”


Details | Free verse | |

Love and hate in marriage

From time to time I think of reasons
why I stayed with you for so long,
and come up with answers that
never really counted as answers.
Because I can't say I'm still with you,
if the truth is
"I shouldn't have".
Your not my soulmate,
your not my honor
your not my pride,
your a girl
I refuse to give up.
I love you,
and I love the hate in this relationship
while I hate the love you deserve,
its easy to love hate,
since it loves me.
My future wife,
my future husband you are and
I cannot wait for the day
we pile into our gettaway vehicle
and make off with the love we stole,
even if from each other.
And I keep trying to make a soul mate out of me,
as a final parting gift to the life im losing
with you.


Details | Free verse | |

Rejection

Do you know how it Feels?
When Rejection Reveals.
It always Hurt to Know,
but you have to Accept.

My Heart Aches whenever you Reject me,
Whenever they look at me Straight in the Eye,
I always think they Despise me.

I tried,I tried my Best,
I provoked myself to do things I can`t,
I Tried to prove,
That I am better than YOU!

But no,No I can`t,
If this Rejection would be a Disease,
I would be Dead right now.

My Heart have been always Fragile,
I have been always Sensitive.
That`s why I always Wished,
that Rejection was Siezed


Details | Free verse | |

Hope

Holy books says it all
You taught me how to crawl
This will never change
Never ends never fades
Dear God where you are?
Shattered piece of childish dreams
This will never change
Never ends never fades.

I can fight for all my life,
Not broken, not broken inside
Never be so frustrated,
Not going to commit suicide.

Fuc*ing faith will fall,
Mortals will stand tall
Hell and heaven are all the same
Live your life, don't die in vain

Only you and I can make 
A better world for tomorrow
Have faith in yourself
And wipe off the tears of sorrow

Make me scream, Make me cry
I'll never fail to try.
This night's has an end
No pain will remain


Details | Free verse | |

Single Awareness Day

Let's just start
with five words:
I hate February the fourteenth.

I hate it
With a passion

Just a couple
reasons why

I have never gotten a valentine
I have never liked pink
or red
or hearts

But I don't care too much
because Valentine's day
is just superficial

A holiday that just makes people
feel bad about themselves
and buy lots of chocolates
and flowers

But honestly
it's just depressing
to see all of the people
who have flowers and love letters

Especially when
I have nothing

But maybe this Valentine's day
will be different
not that I care

But maybe just this once
I could have somebody love me
even if Valentine's day
is better known as
Single Awareness Day


Details | Free verse | |

Devil Mask

"Every time, countless stares, they try to peer into my mind. Every single time, I am so tense, I cannot relax and unwind. The painful judgment unleashed down upon my own flesh and blood, Who is right, who is wrong, who is guilty and who is strong. Who is fit to rise from that which dirties our hands and body, the mud. I want to get away from you, but I fear you not. I want to watch you suffer as I rise and you rot. Do not mistaken me, I truly am just a simple, regular girl with nothing to live for. But that means that I can go to such lengths to grab your heart and crush your core. Accusing me, I was just fine with that, But now bringing down my entire family? You scummy, shameful rats! Throughout my childhood, all I wondered was "why?" Now, I don't care, when you cross my mind, I chant, "just die." Blaming us for what? Shunning us because we fought? Your manipulation of our minds will NOT be tolerated. I am the watch dog of this family and will not let you belittle and derate. I don't need your help and I promise to be better than you, This is one of the few reasons I will continue living and that fatal day you shall rue. You stole my childhood, you made me cower in fear, you broke my already fragile soul... Therefore, allow me to dispose of that heart tainted to the level of corruption, the place where your heart was placed will become a jet black hole. How sweet shall it be to see that that fragile, odd and silent girl you ignored or insulted, Will be the end of you and all for she, for ten years and still going, has cultivated, A garden of thorny roses, beautiful in all colors and tainted with your scarlet blood so saccharine, That truly this is not a heavenly virtue but a mortal sin. And yet, perhaps your demise shall not satisfy the craving I so dearly wish to be relieved of. Perhaps you should continue to live and watch me become the things you wish you could be, but for money's sake, could not do and afford to love. But that day will come and revenge will be sweet. It will surely be the sweetest thing I could ever hope to eat~! May 1st, 2013; 5:13 pm


Details | Free verse | |

Prove To Me!!

Why cant u prove to me that u love me ??
stop playing games i hate it am tired of 
laying in bed and crying for u i love u but 
at time am not sure prove to me that ur worth 
staying here am not a mind reader help me!!

Prove to me that am the only one u have eyes for
how can i trust u with u word prove it to me i want 
a guy that loves me for me and not for some one 
am not prove to me that i dont have to pretend to be 
someone am not!!! prove to me that u love me help
me realize it!!

Why is it so hard for u to trust me stop yelling i cant hear 
myself think help me i dont want to hate u!! the more u yell the more 
the more i just want to run from u am tired of this !! Prove to me that 
ur worth living for that u know what ur son is worth to u please dont fake!!


Prove to me that u love me ! That these last three years have not been a waist 
that u love me prove it to me by taking me roses stop and think what i like
hold me, kiss me, pay attention to me!!?? I wake up at night wondering 
what life would be like if u would just prove to me that u do love me
that all this was not a waist of time!!!


Details | Free verse | |

A Lier's Lies

Go ahead, use me. Lie to my face, tell me it's not my fault. Tell my friends to hate me for 
a month or two. Tell them lies that are convincing enough to believe so they'll hate me 
more. Do you not know what you were doing? I was almost suicidal because I had no 
friends that wouldn't give me dirty looks, or sneer and whisper those same lies in the 
next person's ear. Call me fat, but ask me to save seats? You were lucky. Lucky that at 
the time, I wasn't in self defense class. And that, according to you, my best friend was 
your best friend. So you see, now you know; you can't go around saying that your "600 
Lb brother could walk out on the dock." But since i'm so fat. (Because i'm the one over 
there standing in the Medium size shirt.) I can't jump on the dock because i'll break it 
again. But you know what? Go ahead, say what you wish, Miss Brown. But if I were 
you, i'd watch what i say. Because i've got one big family that doesn't particularly like  A 
lier's lies.


Details | Free verse | |

It's pure fact

I hate the things some people do
But even though still love them through
Sometimes pure hate can cause duress
And I don’t need this kind of stress
Sometimes they hit you with a blow
But in the end still love them so
Why do some hurt the ones they love
And say they can love from up above
That’s not for me I cannot hit
And if you do I will not sit
I will protect the ones I love
And even those that you may love
Though It’s pure fact that love is true
Most times I’m left just feeling blue
I take my time I’ll not give up
Yes you can hold me like a pup
Life hurts no matter what we do
But always know that I love you


Details | Free verse | |

Pride

In our deepest despair
when misfortune's albatross
swoops down on us,
we let them burn... 
all we love most...

When sore and unsure
separated from false strength
and all which gave comfort,
We build brick walls...
Rather than bridges.

Yet we learn not
and hate that impulse
to seek solace when hurt,
we spurn true friends...
And hate our vulnerability.


Details | Free verse | |

Leaving

I hate it
Knowing you might not stay
It's eating your 
Life away
Sucking you up
Like a black whole
Taking in everyone you know.
I hate it
Living on
Wondering,
If you'll be gone
God has made his choice,
We cannot share,
what this cancer is,
because I do not know
If you can stay


Details | Free verse | |

SUCH IS DEATH

SUCH IS DEATH

Hungry as death.
Impartial as death.
Absolute as Death.
Such is Death!

Grazing on souls.
Barely with no notice.
Might take me for a fool.
If I had no form of memory

Rancid as Death.
Uninvited as Death.
Insecure as Death.
Such is Death!

Sets anguish upon the family.
Ends a legacy of reputation.
Rules in all sorts of anarchy.
A check and balance of confrontation.

Clean as Death.
Maiden as Death.
Beautiful as Death.
Such is Death!

Never misses her target.
A bet with a perfect wager.
A dice with the same sides.
A sad tale but such is life.

Great as Death.
Cruel as Death.
Final as Death.
Such is Death!


Details | Free verse | |

Complaining

Complain. Complain; COMPLAIN.
They do it for all to see in disdain.
Drama, Drama, Drama, DRAMA,
Take it all back to your Mama.

Complaining about their job,
They hate it; They hate co-workers.
Getting angry, beginning to Sob,
They are all slackers and lurkers.

They Hate job; They get No satisfaction.
No benefits I receive as a Worker.
No one Here that meets Classification,
Yes, even my Boss completely Quirkier.


Complain, Complain, Drama AGAIN.
They do it everyday, Such A Sin.
Drama, Drama, Complaining to All,
Running, Running, to get another Call,

Why, Why do they stay To Complain?
They do it to be Unhappy in Vain.
Drama of Life, Work, just to COMPLAIN,
Needing Turmoil, DRAMA, on Their Brain,


Details | Free verse | |

I Love, I hate

-I love...I hate-

I love your smile
I love your laugh

I love the sparkle in your eyes

I love how you just have fun
I love that you don't hold a grudge
I love that we are friends

I love you...

I love seeing you, every chance I get
I love being around you, anytime I can

I love, I love,
I love you...

I hate that you don't know it
I hate that you don't see it
I hate that I'm too scared to show you, tell you

I hate that you adore another

I hate that you can't be mine
I hate that I'm not yours

I hate...
I hate...

I hate everyday I'm away from you

But i will always

Love you.


Details | Free verse | |

Realizing the Outside

Sitting in the dark, a razor at my wrist, unable to stand the blood that pours from my veins. Knowing she expects me to land in the hospital. Holding on and feeling dead, chills run down my arms. Pain bursts from my heart. Pulling the steel through my skin hating all that is me. She appeared to me then all golden white and yellow. She wept infront of me calling me a broken angel. I reached out but i spilled a drop of blood upon her white blouse and I didnt realize that I had a lot of regrets In my empty house of hope. I watched that blood soak in and with a flash of pain I saw a younger me getting hit and raped. It was then that night i realized, when all the self hatred began by another hands who they themselves hate another with the passion of their own. This hatred and loathing an wishing of death, was never mine to possess. Images flashed of me in hospitals, my mother crying all around me people whispered that i was dying. An image that couldn't have been mine, flew right through my head there I hung from a willow tree a single white bed beneath and on that bed was a pool of blood coming from between my teeth. I pulled back to end those images and I whispered "I'm sorry" I knelt before the angel and took her head in my hands, holding her close but before i could pull her to hug me She looked me in the eyes The same blue eyes stared back at me that belonged within my skull. It was then that i had realized as I had said im sorry she had said the same, right back to me the way i had. I dropped the angel and with a crash the mirror broke to slivers. I threw my razor with a vengence my soul possessed with joy. This hate and vengence i felt was never mine to hold. I am something beautiful, no matter how scarred or whithered i am. I am nothing new, and I may be afraid to love, but im capable of being human, with no more blood and knives.


Details | Free verse | |

Desperate message to Kim jong un

Pardon any absent adulation, bequeathed capitulation, devoted dedication, indiscretion, blabbering peroration, improper salutation or any unintended vexation if this unknown earthling sent a nearly identical message. He over-looked a small number of errors and hoped that this version accepted as the most satisfactory to me.

Oh please for the sake (and sock e) of brethren deemed friendly, i beseech ye with genuine humility to desist launching nuclear missiles!

This American bloke put his lock, stock and barrel of gunmetal faith in mister Dennis Rodman to serve as a figurative lightning rod against any aggressive actions that would set in motion the end of civilization.

Not only would the majority of homo sapiens (yes, some clusters of earth-linked yahoos might still remain a live) suffer a nasty, short and brutish death, but also other flora and fauna could be equally annihilated!

Understandable, those grievances against sanctions against the populace of north Koreans (who most likely experience unfair hardship) fuels resentment against the hegemony of western powers. Many of these societies authoritatively brandish their devout pledge for concurrence with democratic principles.

Any endemic protestations declaiming objection to the American way affect an immediate alarm. Imposition of so called "puppet" regimes get forcibly installed sans those countries leaders who run counter to capitalistic productivity.

This one anonymous citizen of those fifty states also takes umbrage how the might of american to predominate and demand that other nations follow suit solely based on what agrees with those like minded in power sans the brotherhood/sisterhood of vast swaths of the global population.

No great expectations (by dickens) to affect passionate sentiments per those peoples somewhat hermetically sealed off and separated (viz - by the demilitarized zone) from the billions of other human beings.

Thy sole missive from one older mwm dreads the catastrophic chain reaction of events once atomic warfare triggered by the disgruntlement over some differences in outlook could possibly resolved via "active listening" and access to exchange a word of reconciliation.

As one flawed chap prone to his own bouts of anger, he attests that more positive pleasing results can prevails with the treat of world war three diffused in a manner that plays less havoc once unleashing of weapons of mass destruction occurs!

This notion came to me while tending to a basic bodily urge, thus intent to share my poem whence sitting 

Upon the porcelain goddess,
 A most brilliant idea in me mind did lit
This sole seasoned bugs bunny car tune character son of kit
Soon after on the road his imagination
 Fired up with gaseous fleeting thought that softly hit
Attempting with futility to net ideas in me mind that flit
I yam a poet favoring words that rhyme a bit!
 
Iambic pentameter strands crochet themselves
 Magically into verse
Interleaving like boughs of an arbor
 Shielding this solitary soul
 From shafts of sunlight that doth dapple
 The canopy affecting shadows to disperse
Ebbing and flowing in tandem & sync
 With circadian metronome this troll
 Transformed by serenade from Mother Nature
 With hand doth scythe lent curse

Congregating amongst a distinguished flora and faun
 The latter sending tendrils
Poised on the brink of some philosophical revelation
 Delicate as hocked china
Which capricious metaphorical musings
   Resurrected from propriety
Devoid of any vicious evocations nor premonitions
While ensconced in eyesight of my adobe
   Dwelling away from mass of society

Return of this native son harbors thoughts
   Against madding crowd that cease to dwindle
   To less than the effect of a mosquito needling proboscis
   In the nape o me neck
As this contemplative human being feels
   Leaves of grass each like a spindle
   Completing a colorful pastoral palette
   Of utmost verdant splendor upon flotsam speck
Allowing wisps of euphoria
   To warm thine psyche easing books set afire to kindle
 
Under the azure vault
The entire warp and woof of one mortal male as he does lie
   Where arises finding incriminating fault
Beneath the celestial sphere transfixed where mysteries catapult
   As those simians who preceded him
Millenniums before similarly inebriated
   From wondrous panoply of one star
That comprises a near infinite candelabra
   Guiding the mind to posit the universe 
   This mission must come to a HALT!

From - one whom u kin newt re:fuse
   No claim to be Walt Whitman only venturing forth
That all of mankind we lose
   In the event of such apocalyptic once the fuse
Lit to launch missiles meant to zero in and cruise
Upon the masses a severe planet earth detonations 
 Inflicting concussions more fatal 
 Than the most lethal booze.

 





Details | Free verse | |

Buried Love No Funeral

As I sit in my corner and think about your lies, I have nothing else to do but break down and cry. You knew it would end, You knew it would die, You knew one day we’d have to say goodbye. You told me you loved me, You told me you cared But the rage inside had slowly flared. The moments we shared replay in my head Along with all the sweet lies you said. You thought it was a game You thought you’d win But in the end you felt nothing within. Deep down inside there was a big empty space That I now realize you couldn’t replace. Something about you helped me see That without love I’m finally free. Free from pain, Free from lies, Free from having tear filled eyes. Without your love I finally see All the horrid things you’ve come to be.


Details | Free verse | |

im never coming back continued into why did i go back

Im never coming back
smart ,creative,generous you are ,
but theres more to you than that
your insecure ,angry and drink to much
I needed your love ,but you didnt know how to give it
I wanted you more than anything ,but you werent feeling it
I loved you ,and it showed... but your eyes were closed
you didnt see me so i dissapeared ,so now your eyes have come to be open
and your wondering where i am
but im gone
 and im never coming back
_______________________________________________________________________________.....
Why did i go back
why did i go back to you ,cause everythings the same
as always... u lured me in with your charm, just till im willing to stay
then u trap me and hold me in place and mistreat me just the same,
you appear charming and sweet but underneith your cruel and controling
on the inside i say all the things to you i dont have the courage to say
and on the inside i hate how i love u more each day
i hate how im conflicted between the lines of love and hate
and i hate how i cant seem to stay away 
so i sit here in the mist of your bull*****once again
and wonder ...why did i go back


Details | Free verse | |

My Emotions in Chaos

My emotions go with the wind telling me that I'll never be good enough for this or that.
My emotions always saying I'll never find "her" or that I'm too small to do anything.
My emotions always saying that my life is insignificant or that I'll never reach happiness.
Feeling alone, depressed, and never understood, I'll take a stand against my emotions, and loose once more. and be ever consumed by their dark beckoning of sadness and pain. never feeling loved in this world, and not ever feeling like someone can understand me, yet not reaching out to try to save myself. In a slum of right and wrong feeling like there's no escape. Is there hope? I like to think so, but my mind says different. I cannot imagine a world outside of my own, though I never tried. Living in a world of sin, I'll never be good enough to see clearly, or be with someone long enough to say "I love you". I hate this feeling, and can't get rid of it's terrible grasp on my life. I hate to be in public, seeing all the happy faces, unlike mine, witch I hate to see Blank and expressionless. Ever will I stay like this feeling sad and alone.


Details | Free verse | |

In The Plane

I was in the plane.

Someone asked:

-Are you comfortable?

-Oh, yes! Thank you!

He has shortened

the space between the seats.

And now? – he asked again.

He had to thank God for

we were in the plane,

otherwise I would 

smash his face,

it could be a disgrace.

Some people feel discomfort

when you feel good.

They are so happy

when you are in a bad mood.


Details | Free verse | |

My Birthday

Tomorrows my b-day,
hip hip horray.
I dont care anymore,
because my best friend has left me,
forever more. 
He didnt say it nicely,
he didnt say at all.
Andeh came and screamed at me,
and told me I was wrong.
Apparently I'm the worst person in the world.
Im a clingy stupid girl.
But i didnt even do those things.
Some stupid little guy,
got in front of Luckeh and I.

I am crying, 
I'm losing everyone,
everything that I ever cared about.
I hate my b-day, hate it forever. 
Because something always goes wrong.
I cut tonight, because,
its the one thing that can never leave me.

I feel like i'm a mistake.
So here ill un do it.
Goodbye.


Details | Free verse | |

Eve

EVE

Never say “I don’t love you”
When you just mean give me space
Because it hurts me so much
Like a dagger in my heart
Never Say “”I don’t care”
When you just mean you hate it
Because I need to know,
Promise I’ll never do it again
Never say I Miss you
When you are far
The fact is 
I want to be exactly where you are
Never say “Come here”
When you just mean, prove my love
Because if I fail, I can’t blame distance
Men are comprises of peculiar elements
Our mind is the abode for knowledge
That holds the truth and the lies
Our mind is the residence of our will and desire
We don’t like to be fool 
Because we don’t play with feelings
We fall in love but hate to be dictated
We have our own plans and tactics
And we don’t stop until we reach success
We don’t lie when
We hide ourselves beyond what you see
Or discloses the antecedents of our past relationships
We just hate remembering heartaches 
Cause we are also the casualty of failures
We maybe objective 
And could become ruthless
But touch us once and we will gradually melts
You can name our nature
Beastly
Brutal
Evil and
Divine
You can call us everything that you wanted
But I tell you honey
That the realms of our nature
Is tamed with your passion
That behind our glory is your love
That the truth of our being
Is your existence
That the vows that you committed
Is the life that we long to live…


Details | Free verse | |

You

Saw you and knew you

We didnt even need to speak

Saw you and wanted you in my life

just the thought of you makes me sick

So love sick my heart hurts

 

So love sick my stomach hurts 

hunger no food can fill

I need a bowlful of

U

 

Dosent make any sense

I dont know you

yet being without you

Dosent make any sense

 

I dont know you

yet knowing you has changed me

what a mind @$#%$

This needs to stop

 

Stop invading my thoughts...I hate that

I hate that you are so delicious ...ok I need to stop

You have me and you have no idea

 

Got to shake this..but I cant

It's like I'm wearing the Queens crown so heavy and beautiful

and YOU are the King

But the kingdom dosent exist

outside my mind

 

YOU


Details | Free verse | |

Was it Right?

I hope i did whats right for u,
becuz this pain i feel is almost unbearable..,
and right now i wish i could say goodnight,
as id die. <3,
But instead ill sing ur favorite lullaby.
I may look quite calm,
I might be quite happy.
But on the inside I'm screaming,
inside im swimming,
in a sea of confusion.
PLease dont hate me, 
please dont scar,
id hate to have never held you in my arms.

I hope i did whats right for u,
because the pain i feel is almost unbearable.
I feel myself fading,
I am hurting so badly that i feel numb.
The tears are still rolling down my cheeks.
And baby I feel like I need your love.
I just hope you dont hate me.
I did this for you.
And now I want to bleed anew.


Details | Free verse | |

a life of pain

I can remember the sadness in my heart,I remember how people use to treat me,I remember when I wasn't accepted from you guys,You put me in a hole,You shown me to hate and hate my enimes and love myself even more,I remember the pain you put me through,My anger arise aganist me,I felt like a demon coming inside me,I guess my life was falling apart,there's no reason to lie,
but now I have people who is there for me and people who love's me now,
I guess I ain't crazy after all


Details | Free verse | |

You Never Knew

Oh, how I fell for you,
Fell for you a long time ago,
How those feelings changed and passed,
How those feelings got ignored everyday,
How those feelings didn't matter to you,
How you never really cared for me,
Never really was in your group of friends,
So I just sat there with secret feelings for you,
While you sat across from me, so oblivious,
Oblivious to me, never really caring,
Oh how I wished, wished I was popular like you,
Then maybe you would notice me.
Oh how I never wanted you to go away,
Never wanted to get hurt, but I have,
All because of you, I hope you are happy.
Oh how I wanted to apologize to you,
Oh how I still wishe and dream of being friends with you,
But now it is oh so late, late since you have
Announced that you were moving to a different school,
Oh how I was hurt,
Oh if you only knew how I felt,
If you only knew what I wanted to say,
And I even said that day out loud,
"No I don't want you to leave."
I spoke now, and spoke out when the chance was right,
I couldn't get out how I really felt about you,
Oh how I just walked by you to smell your sweet smell,
And to feel wanted, I have always liked the fact that you were there,
Oh how I hated it when you were gone,
But you never knew.
Never really cared about my feelings, and you even hurt me,
But I have ways of staying in contact with you,
In my heart you are a best close friend to me,
No matter what you say,
And you can hate me if you want,
But it won't change anything.
Only one person knew of the crush I had on you,
And he wouldn't tell a soul,
Oh how I was foolish, I should have just came up to talk to you,
Instead of being shy and scared,
I just didn't want to get hurt, but I did anyway,
When you blocked me,
Blocked me out of your life,
Like I never exsisted, I cried,
I must admit it hurt me a lot,
But I have ways of seeing things, and seeing just how you are doing.
You can hate me or whatever,
But it won't change a thing,
 And never change how I feel,
Just know that my heart shattered like glass.


Details | Free verse | |

Love not war

In war we see ugly visions
faces of  blind twisted hate,
clouds in bitter conflict
dimming loves light.

Armed with the Devil's tools
inflicting mass cruelty,
evil destruction killing innocence
rape plundering 
families sanctuaries 
peace overturned.

Tortured with pain,
leaving a legacy of hurt
laced with suffering scars,
mourning rivers of tears.

Killing machines trained
without feelings,
sorrow flows humbly
upon fields of battle,
soaking the earth
blood of our brothers 
spilt upon the soil.

Drenched weeping ,
love is an angel of peace,
forever living inside 
guiding each and every one of us,
finding the beauty in this world
not Hell bent on her destruction,
light of eternal joy and truth
shines always in the end.











Details | Free verse | |

Summer Abuse

It's summer again
And I hate it
Your abuse is worse in summer
Every summer you do this to me
You call me horrid names
You hurt me physically and mentally
And I'm sick of
I just want to runaway but
If I did then you would be hurt you
I know you don't mean doing these things
But
Don't you understand what it does to me
You say you care about me
But do you really
You know, I don't care anymore
I cared for years 
But now you've gone too far
You're taking me away from
My friends, my boyfriend and even family
Why do you do this
Is it because you hate me
Even if you do
I have too much heart to hate you back
I want to kill you
I really do
But if I do then I might as well kill my self
Ha! There you go again
You're now going to beat me 
because I said 'I love you'
I sigh and go to my room
I pack my bags and leave a note
Saying how much I hate you
I bet you're crying and I'm happy
I'm happy you feel distraught
I hope you have a horrible life starting now


Details | Free verse | |

Rude 5501

 Rude 5501     
 
 
Author Message 
Admin
Admin



Age : 53
Joined : 13 Jun 2007
Posts : 649

 Subject: Rude 5501   Today at 9:27      

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Rude 5501

Rude 5501 

People here are very rude because they live inside a desert place and face 
destruction daily or because they hate a stranger just because he is not like 
them he does not have the same mind as them or wants desires or just 
because they hate themselves and wish that they were stronger or just because 
there mind is weak from the use of drugs and they think that they are GOD the 
man was nice until eye started to converse with him it rally hurts there feelings 
when eye have a less terse verse a word of understanding given him a 
conversation with someone alas they cannot understand they make this poet 
bleed when they cut me off of oratory given in the style of thirsty desert green not 
used to rain then suddenly having flood come it shocks me at the rude that men 
become twice given not received please let the rude alone and let me try again to 
love. 
 
           
 
 
 Rude 5501 
 


Details | Free verse | |

guinevere

it's not enough Guinevere,
or should i call you Morgana?
unless you, too, see me
like a novelty act, with your shiny wizard.



you're always against everything anyway.
the cliched apples,
the nudes i draw,
the fig leaves your nerves cover them up with.



but you don't cover everything.
only you pretend you have to
with me.
you're the mother of my name...
the forest where i form my rocks.



but there's more things us men can give you,
than things you can't touch all at once.
you can touch it all at once,
but you don't need to;
when you don't even try for what you want.



evil,
the longer you strive to be queen
the better. the moment you succeed,
dark ruler,
it all goes up in smoke;
all smoke.


you say we're all the same.
but there's more i, myself, have
to give you, than smoke and mirrors.



you hate the taste of wine,
but you're not a Lilith that sucks,
or a witch that feeds your apples
to other women;
as much as you want the sky to be clear
like the nights when you and i would walk,
you can't breathe without the fogs of London,
the sick harvest burning of zombie weeds at that.



you're too worn to be a queen,
and drinking from my fountain of youth
makes you shiver in heat, in fear,
and talk like a child.
you'll always be a princess either way.



my illness will keep me young for years
to come. that's my magic.--
but you're not afraid of that are you?
you're afraid of all that's not magical,
not powerful, not immortal
unless bought in zombie fog.



you can only be a queen if you can pick the brain,
and remove the heart without breaking it
or touching it;
it's hard to love someone that you can't hate even for a moment.


Details | Free verse | |

The things he hates most

Since he was a young boy
he has hated nothing.
Nothing but three things.

Spindles.
Dolls.
Hourglasses.

Spindles. 
All that spinning makes him dizzy.

Dolls.
Childish things for childish people.

Hourglasses.
Why don't you use a clock like a normal person?


“Why the hatred?”
You may ask.


His father was a doll-maker.
And he made one every hour.


Details | Free verse | |

This is what life is

Life is a dagger;
beautiful and fragile, but will stab you in the back.
It will take away the pain and misery,
and bring it all back.

And then you're standing on the edge,
not knowing where to go.
Your past lyes below you,
and so does your living soul

The music rang loud in your ears,
a tear rushed down your face.
And you heard a gunshot, 
as the stars danced through the pain.

Now your feelings leave your body
but your body stays on the ground.
You're depressed, stressed
Unconfessed.

You're a mess, tearing apart on the path
that leads you to the end.
And you're so close, but too far to get there.
Too far to look back at the pain and misery he caused you
And the stars, they glistened through the pain.

But your body loses control,
Flames burning through your soul,
only to be shot down by the clouds filling your mind
and refueled by the burning fire inside.


Details | Free verse | |

Traffic Lights

Discernment often resembles a fable
When translating the language composed by women
As tantalizing as these creatures may be
Various medleys of gestures so fallaciously are given

On certain occasions it appears that
One’s efforts have been green lit
When so suddenly red flags are discovered
Dancing amidst the clouds


Gradually the entire project
Grows to be eminently disheartening
Women, the puppeteers that they reflect,
Behave as if the universe
Is a ******l duplication
Although society may deem that laughable
The results of such callousness
Quite strangely are familiar…


Details | Free verse | |

The Color of Hate

We have so much color all around us
so much beauty to fill our senses
everything we see and touch and taste
in the songs we hear
in the scent of lovers mingled
in everything we've been given
there is a rainbow around us.
A multitude of shades and hues
from the bright of light
to the richest deep dark
to the red of blood
the essence of all life
coursing through the flesh
in which we live.
Red the color of life.

But hate has no color
it is void and blank
lashing out in its blindness
not caring at who it strikes
or what it takes.
The smell of hate is rank and vile.
It leaves a bitter taste
on the tongues of all who it touches.
It feeds on our minds
breeds in our hearts
makes us spill precious blood
planting its seed wherever it goes
soiling everything in its path
and fouling the air with its stink.

The color of hate is death
but the color of love
is a rainbow.
Love binds us together.
Unites us.
A tightly knit prism
of many hues blended
each one of us given a choice.
We can sow love into all we do
into every life we touch
and into all that we say
or we can hate.

I choose rainbows.


Details | Free verse | |

The Monster part 3

He has ecsaped
He consumes Everything
Happiness, Love, Light, warmth
and he oppresses them into darkness.
but those are not enough,
now he wants my soul
and he wants my heart.
He's hiding
Waiting to strike
He's waiting t avenge himself;
upon me for locking him up,
upon the world for abandoning me,
for ignoring me, for hurting me.
For ignoring him.
I question myself
How did he get loose,
How did he get out,
and can i rechain him?
I'll get him while he sleeps
and while he dreams.
so i must wait,
wait for his
moment of weakness.


Details | Free verse | |

No more you

No more you;
I've thought this through.
I've shed a tear;
our end is here!
That feeling is gone...
It lasted too long!
I despise this feeling;
No heart for healing!
I feel like an animal,
Can't even think rational;
Locked in a cage,
it just fuels my rage!
I don't like what I have become,
but that has all just been done!
You are the cause...
Out comes my claws!
I want you to vanish!
All thoughts of you to banish,
Out of my life,
No more your wife!
Wedding vows come to an end;
no more me the knee to bend!


Details | Free verse | |

The Secret Behind Myself

Ripple, 
Ripple, 
Ripple, 
A man floats down the river. 
Find the answers to your soul, 
Discover your hearts desire in the place it all began. 
I stare into the eyes of the one I should know better than all. 
But I am a stranger in these lands. 
I search, search out the words, the question my soul craves. 
Why? How? 
How can you hate yourself when you are the center? 
You give relief to the thirsty, strength to the weak, 
You rejuvenate the cracked, the broken. 
You brighten all color, and give flavor to the bland. 
You resinate life and its many forms. 
Your ability to change form to fit the needs of all else and yet you harbor hate?
WHY DO YOU HATE YOURSELF? 
But silence. 
I see nothing. 
These waters have been tainted, mislead, polluted, and defiled. 
We wrap ourselves in pain, secrets, and despair like the fathers who've forgotten us.
These broken waters stare back at me, 
Unwavering and unknown, eyes cut deep into me, 
Its question for me is already known. 
Why? Why do you wish to die? 
Ripple, 
Ripple, 
Ripple, 
These ripples turn to waves. 
Splash. 
The answer is clear. 
A man floats down the river.


Details | Free verse | |

So-Called Good Christians

You have made a choice. 
You have chosen hatred. 
In our Heavenly Father, 
you have chosen not to rejoice. 
He is who spares the most awful dread. 
  
You have chosen to hate me. 
First it was the “N” word, 
the Afro comment, 
and my curly hair. 
Now you hate me 
for the religion 
that I have chosen to be. 
My faith gives me what is right and fair. 
  
I pity you for all your hate. 
But you made it clear my fate. 
A Mormon to this date, 
a Mormon forever. 
Your rage and hate 
prove my faith and 
choice of religion right. 
Your bigoted hatred
I have chosen to fight 
by giving it light. 
I want it 
in everyone's sight. 
  
Your rage and hatred is your only boast. 
But with it you are engrossed. 
Like you, your rage and hatred 
are nothing but compost. 
Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit 
gives me what I need the most. 
  
And for you, that is just 
too bad so sad. 
  


Details | Free verse | |

The Bridge

Maybe we all need to die, 
then maybe there would be enough space 
for those left to see... 
the hurts and pains of generations past was 
for naught... Hate only breeds ugliness. 
I think the Bridge we built to cross that gap
is burning, again.

      
                                              The Bridge

(The Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman case will never be fully understood for years till we can look back and reflect over what happened. Space is what is needed so that others can step back and say "Oh, I see". Now, we are so close to it all we'll ever have is a short nose.)


Details | Free verse | |

MIND-LESS

        

I apologize for being no LESS then myself. What was I thinking, wait maybe that’s the problem I 
was thinking, there I go again using my MIND, my bad.
I’m sorry I took that other road, u know the one LESS traveled, I know I should have followed the 
crowd but there I go again being an individual, it’s a habit.
The guilt from not giving in to peer pressure is getting to me, I hate my conscience I mean Why I 
got to have morals? Don’t nobody else got them, and if they do they shoal ain't using them. 
I hate being in the talented tenth, people expect me to do something with my life 
I have an idea (don’t tell anybody, that’s not cool) maybe if we MINDed not having a MIND we 
would spend more of our time growing instead of showing, that we are a photo copy of what is 
cool, the truth is nobodies alike, I don’t even breathe like anyone else, when I walk I do this thing 
where my head is held high it kind of resembles pride. there I go again being intellectual, forgive 
me it won’t happen again.


Details | Free verse | |

Self Hatred

I have nothing
but regrets
and memories
 that make me hate myself 
more than I did before,
I feel as if I am in a never-
ending war 
with myself
and I'm losing,
my heart is steadily bruising.


Details | Free verse | |

An Accent

To the pond behind my yard
I saw strolling a frog and a toad
They were there on that rainy day to breed
But the two soon began chatting their creed

Said the frog: “You a Bufonidae
You disturb my peace with your croak” 
Protested the toad: “You a rascal Ranidae
You scare me to my death with your squeak”

Friendly chatting now turned to a dispute
They leapt across belittling each other
And there crept the water snake, moving softly
Swallowed the frog, proceeding next to the toad!


Details | Free verse | |

Decision Time

Decision Time
Face the facts
You messed up, can't go back
Can't rewind, undo, renew
Time surges onwards, you got left behind
Shame about that
Hard to admit that you were wrong
Can't face yourself
The mirror shows the ugly truth
Inconvenient and unfortunate
But real, this is the reality
This is your life and you can't bear it
You made yourself the badge but you're too ashamed to wear it
Too late, it's gone on too long
Have to hash together the last remains
Compromise and make the most of it
You hate it, hate yourself
So much that you can't even tell yourself properly
Address your words to some invisible second person
The you is me
Regret washes over and I sink;
It's decision time
I look back and think that now it is 
Decision time
And I'm scared, so afraid
Already ruining those carefully constructed plans
That were never quite made.


Details | Free verse | |

Halloween Thoughts

If I didn’t think that Halloween was so special
I would think that it was dull and quite boring
I love Halloween and all of its wonder
I think it’s the greatest holiday of the year
But if I never thought of it that way
I would think it was the worst possible day
I’m fascinated by all the devilish things around
The sincere innocence of this time astounds
If I didn’t think of all of this splendor
I would think that the innocence is just a front
A front of the evil that could be played
But I don’t think that, I believe it is a great time
A time of joyful glee and trick or treating
Dressing up in costumes and going to parties
I would hate all of this, if I thought differently
I wouldn’t enjoy the full moon, and the black cats
The witches and creatures of the deep would be my boon
But my heart is with this Holiday, everything it stands for
The fun of the skeleton dances and the bats that fly
I love to think of the Jack-O-Lanterns that smile at night
But if my thoughts would change, I wouldn’t enjoy
All of these feelings that I do love to employ
Spiders and maggots, creatures of the night
I wouldn’t stand for them, I would hate this sight
I however think what I do think, simply delightful
I will always love Halloween and all its wonder
The festivities of the season will remain in my heart

Entrant into Nancy Jones' "If I didn't think what I think, here's what I'd think" contest

8/25/2012


Details | Free verse | |

I Hate That

I walked outside my house.
Into the driveway
And thought
"You were just there yesterday,"
A few hours back.
I was having the best time ever with you.
But now I realize its gone.
And I hate it.

I hate that I won't see you tomorrow
The same as today.
I hate that I'm crying when I should be excited.
I hate that you probably don't think I'm telling the truth.
But I am.
Becaudse you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
And I love that.
And yet, it hurts to know that I won't see you again
For a while.
I hate that strong spurce of emotions.
But I love that I can feel them again.
I really do.


Details | Free verse | |

Manic

Breath stolen breeds sharpness
Borne backward into infantile shrieks
The spinstress of sinew waits bated
For abhorrent heat
Of combustive, collapsive
Crossfire from echoing throat
Or burnt-bridge lungs
A visceral nymph thoughtlessly thieves
On Benedict tongue
Thrashing in maddened pace
Too shrill a manifesto
Skeletal soldiers charge
A red hill
Unsteady, uneven, not ready
Frenzy, not frolic
I am not a goddess
There is something to fear
I am something, I fear


Details | Free verse | |

You Bad

Yeah you
bad alright.
But tell me bro can
you handle your fight?
I hate funny
acting boys.
Tryna play me
like a toy.
See, you got
the game twisted.
As soon as I leave
you gone be missin' it.
Now, I love you,
truly I do.
But why you tryna
play me, boo?
I hate to
be ignored.
Cause y'all know
I go hard core.
Step up to the plate
or get dissed.
And I'm tellin' you bro
you ain't gone be missed.
I'll be honest with
you though.
I really ain't
feelin' you no mo'.
I'm gettin' tired
of your games.
To be honest
your lines are lame.
I thought we would
last to the end.
But baby it's best
that we be friends.


Details | Free verse | |

A Painting By Hitler

A Painting By Hitler

How did you make such beauty
Such perfect colors
Light and shadows set in just the right places
What were you thinking
Did you see the beauty of Austria
Did you imagine the people who lived in your art
Were they the blue-eyed blonde people you loved
Was your mind set away from the world you made
Or did you see every dead soldier in the colors
Was each brush-stroke marking someone else sent to the ovens
Why didn’t you paint the suffering you caused
The children and babies being killed at your whim
The old people who lived too long
The Jews, gays and gypsies who you hated for no reason
Why didn’t you paint them.
You will be remembered for all time
Not as an artist
You were never that good
You will be remembered as a murderer
You will be remembered as  lunatic
We will remember the millions you killed
The tortures you inflicted
We will mourn the people you killed
But no one will mourn you…ever


Details | Free verse | |

Untitled (Holler)

Untitled (Holler)
2010

Holler without gasping for air
Continue until fainting becomes part of you
Scream reaching the point of redness
With blood spilling from your pores
Stand tall, not looking down, growing
With every nonsense thrown your way
Provide refuge, shade for those next to you
Bare fruits to revive the soul of those just like you, not forgetting the rest
Spread your arms, circling the world
Comforting, letting know “everything will be alright”
Holler without gasping for air
Let your personal explosion fill empty holes
The ignorant
Those who hate us because they don’t understand us
Lead your roots deep within without destroying yet educating
The ignorant
Those who hate us because they don’t understand us
Holler without gasping for air
Stand tall, bare fruits
Comforting, never the hatred but movement


Details | Free verse | |

please don't cry

you act upon love,you act upon hate..you throw your tears and sorrow at me,you hate me but
you want to hate me even more.I know your sad,you want me to explain why I can't I look you
in the eyes.I said so much stuff to you,it make you wonder.whats happening to me.
your worried.you try to be strong but how long will it last.
my words to you,please don't cry.it makes me worry when you cry.so don't cry please.


Details | Free verse | |

Built to Destroy

stomping to
nothing.
there is no end,
pounding to the
core.
branches, roots, arms
cut from the limbs.
to fall from the almighty
saw.

disposing mountains flat, 
an army to stampede 
on all.


the grass was too alive,
must spread blocks
of solid nothing.
so the feet can forcefully
collide.

a machine to destroy
any patch that is promised
a machine to do
as told
a machine to implode


all the seats are taken
but all still admire.
running on
 heavy minds

the saying extinct will 
no longer exist,

only a man can project such 
a word


Details | Free verse | |

The Joker

Laugh-- Laugh that shrill, piercing laugh--
For as God you deal that fateful hand
Making them know 'What Is And What Will Never Be'--
Laugh that laugh,
For yours is the "Killing Joke"

                           The Joker
                           (SandyHook Elementary,
                             Virginia Tech, etc.)


Details | Free verse | |

For Margaret

A jump a skip and a jig perhaps 
I shall steel myself and I will
Dance on her grave

Mystery no forgiveness as time has passed
But my promise made and I will
Dance on her grave

An oath made as a wilful young man
Older now yet still and I will 
quietly 
Dance on her grave


Details | Free verse | |

A Voice In the Wildness

I hate and I love.
How much I hunger
for the days when I was younger,
for the days when  I was really free,
for the days when I was a real me.
And what is happening now?
Has the world turned upside down?
I do not say any more “Wow!”
Nothing surprises me.
I can only realize
this horrible situation
with discomfort and even frustration.
Am I on another stage?
Is it connected with my age?
I don’t think so.
I can see today the youth
who can’t find the truth.
Isn’t it strange that
having two higher educations
I am on the edge of starvation?
Isn’t it strange that
having worked all my life
I have to think how to survive?
No one cares about my life,
no one worries if I should live or die.
I hate those unfair rules
which were proclaimed for the fools.
I love my motherland,
but the life here I can’t withstand.
I forgot the word “hurray”.
That was another day.
My future is unpredictable as weather.
I am like a feather,
don’t know where to fly.
It seems all is a lie.
I don’t know where this time the wind will blow.
Where is my spirits flow?
I don’t know how to live,
I don’t know whom to believe.
The world has greatly changed.
For someone it’s not strange.
It’s only strange that I am still alive
and  have to think how to survive.
Who will tell me what to do?
Should I be true with those who cheat,
with those who treat 
me and others as a toy?
They are very much annoyed
to listen to the truth,
but they are not confused
to rob, to demand,
to occupy my motherland.
They even use God’s name
as a cover for their crimes.
They do not hear the church bells chimes,
they only hear their own voice,
leaving the majority with no choice.
My voice is crying in the wildness.
Forgetting about gladness
I have to know sadness,
to learn the rules of a new dirty game.
Isn’t it the biggest shame?
I have no more strength to fight
but only to wait for the light
at the end of that tunnel,
in other words: for my funeral.
Where is the way out?
It looks as there is only one: to pray,
to calm my soul for another stay.

©Larisa Rzhepishevska (Odessa, Ukraine)


Details | Free verse | |

Stolen Away

Stolen away
from happy memories
in darkened rooms
chained in fantasy
nowhere to be found
from the public's eye
loss of innocence
taken away
from controlling strangers
used and abused
over and over again
distant cries no one hears
screams of hurt and pain
beaten down inside into submission
by sinister want and desired need
from warped and twisted minds
sexual predators hunting for prey
playing with vulnerability
seeking pleasure in gratifying themselves
without guilt or remorse of circumstance
children a prisoner for years to come
beyond the haunting nightmares
from fugitives on the run


Details | Free verse | |

Embracing What Makes Me Human

The breath threatens to leave my lungs 
suffocated & smothered 
Blindness to this 
I hold it in my palm, open and forward 
He's scared of my fear, of my heart, of my all 
Darkness always follows light 
But he's scared 
Of my fear, of my heart, of my all 
Of what it will make him feel 
He leaves my questions unanswered 
          leaves me wanting, searching 
I feel lost and unseen for who I am, what I am 
What I hold inside 
Dancing in the chambers of my blood heart 
Skulking in the shadows of my mind

I can feel the heat of perfect truth probing at the deadwood of fragmented thought

He's scared to hear, to see, to feel
Why are you scared of my spirit? Because it pulls to the forefront of your mind all the things you lack, all the things you want, all the dark twisting violence that you hate but cannot turn away from in your own reflection

I have no fear anymore, I've surpassed the need to drink from this cup.. 
The need that's left gets chipped and scattered 
I crave my own! And why can't I have it? 
I hide it all away, to shelter you from my dark, to let you believe that I hold only joy at this domestic existence But there's scars and tissue and tendon that bleed, that demand aggression and evolution
 But he's scared, of my thought and my prayers, because I am unconventional, spiritually tall

And so unafraid of unleashing raw emotion 
Passion 
Sexuality 
Femininity 
So unafraid to embrace humans' need to feel hate along with love Aggression with gentle compassion

So unafraid to embrace all of my Self


Details | Free verse | |

Embracing hate

The hater is a bruised apple
Our task is to embrace 
The injury,
So they become sweeter 
Than all the others.

Hate makes our enemies
Seemingly strong,
The only way to neutralize
Their poisonous sting is:
To love them.

Loving our enemies is 
The greatest love: 
Consciousness of Oneness,
Beyond form
Christ recognized.

Hate left to its own device
Snowballs:
Instead of further
Sweetness, the apple
Began to rot.


Details | Free verse | |

cOMANCHE

                                                   COMANCHE

My mounts and I are one.
Across the plains we fly

    Like the wind that scours
    Like the sun that burns,
        The cold that kills.

The Buffalo Spirit thunders in my blood,
Guides my way through the featurelesss land:
     I draw the bow
     Strike and  move on.

My ways are as old
As the ways of the Earth;
   A harshness you have all forgotten.

Know this, White Man From The East: 
If the Soul of this place
Doesn't lay you straight
To feed the soil with your bones,

     I will.


Details | Free verse | |

PRIZEFIGHT-Fear, Shame, Pain, Please giveway

Fear, I've known you to speak my name, calling me quietly to join you in your game. Tapping my shoulder, whispering to my mind, "remember me?? from the last time?" As I try to ignore you, go about my way, you call upon reinforcements, from the other day. They seem to utter a tone, with a twist of despair, as I hum a tune of triumph, pretending not to care. Shame, says I know that you know me, How dare you hum a tune? Hate-Filled, overshadowing my spirit, with a hint of gloom. All of a sudden Fear and Shame unite, purposely battling my soul, throwing a jab and a right. Trying with all they have, with all of their might, to win this prize, in this prizefight called LIFE.


Details | Free verse | |

Not meant to be...

Just a while ago
I was happy
in a split second
it all changed

you had to leave
I hate the goodbyes
I will never get use to them

I hate the fact 
that you can't stay
I wish we didn't 
have to part ways

moments like these 
I want to cuff your hand to mine
never to loosen the grip
who am I kidding?

We're not meant to be
reality tend to skulk in
when it's the least welcomed
it's going to be difficult

but maybe it's for the best
maybe this time we need 
to say goodbye forever

because I can't live like this
I'm slowly dying, 
I’m slowly forgetting 
how to breathe…


Details | Free verse | |

Sardonic Edge

                  Sardonic Edge 

When you have money people love you
Even strangers want to see you, save you 
And help you through your days
Subtle imperfections cling on psyches cliff
This is not a trick…. This is not a glitch
If only you would look 
Take the problem as you could 
Less lightly…..You should simply not exist
Nudge a nerve to sign that will 
And give us what is ours
As condemning fingers deflect
Point your way
Lingering thoughts stick to you
Like yesterday’s sweat
Friends and family pretend to love you 
That keeps you safe
But not from insults and pretentious threats
Fear fills in every day behind your back
Fed by derision, suspicion and greed
Designed by those who hate you along the way
It's the new fashion that never fades or dries upon the line 
The stake in the heart delayed for better weather
Prevailing winds designing the perfect crime
Strong wills wait for satiation, a little later, is a little better
So say those hiding under rocks
Friends and family pretend to know you
Pretend to care
The sardonic edge comes out 
You’ve become the center of attraction and attention
Lost in your own anonymity
Why should you have a lotto ticket and not me?!
The whispers come to life
No one gave you permission to be alive
Leave that part to us
We have skills and ways to attend to you
In our own sardonic ways
It would be our pleasure to (end you….)…oops!.. I mean help you end your days in peace
That is, if that’s ok with you
Please remember to sign the deed
Then we’ll see what we can do


Details | Free verse | |

I Hate Myself

I hate myself for letting me go,
To the extent of hurting myself.
I hate myself for setting me up,
For a fall which was bound to happen.
I hate myself for giving what I had,
And expecting to want anything in return.
I hate myself for bringing me to this place,
I vowed I would never let me go.


Details | Free verse | |

One of Those Days

He who wanted attention
Wanted not
Wanted to exist
But seems he never did
Does meaningful things
For others
But they never noticed
Never seems to be something
Something he was
Something he is
They said he's a Pessimist
Your optimism only irritated him
But you made him
Molded him to what he is
He had a choice
We all had
Its just
You chose to drive him away
Its not like it hurts
Not like it used to
But not anymore
He spent his life with the trees
Taught him not to talk
Taught him not to socialize
Taught him not to feel

Guess what
Im a pessimist
And
Im a tree

Not like you
Optimistically stupid.


Details | Free verse | |

damaged goods

rolling over in burnt blankets of mistakes & 
seething at the mere mention of the name that
echoes most recently through the maddened mind
like a gong being dragged through a city street
chained to the tail-end of a 4x4 that has no 
particular place to go.

rotting in the bowl with mold all furry,
being torn apart by fruit flies & other insects making
new condos & apartments in the heart &
where does it end?  
as the wreckage piles up like old toys in the garage &
all the animals from the forest come in to make themselves 
at home,
much like the flies & insects in the fruit bowl,
it suddenly seems like everything alive
is having more fun than the thinker that is 
presently thinking.

pus forming in the infected cuts &
the bruises get bandaged again &
as one party runs clear out through the field 
away from the other,
another connection is eradicated & 
another individual gets one more notch towards
a lifelong complex.

the feeling that one is not good enough &
that one will never be good enough &
that one doesn’t deserve to be happy &
therefore one begins to learn to hate happiness &
then one begins to hate others who are happy &
then one begins to die inside watching them parade around the
world (as if they are completely untouchable &
nothing can happen to them) &
then one is dead inside.


Details | Free verse | |

Disposable

I’ve become a rag doll,
Disposed at your own liking.
How long do you expect me to fall?
When your words are striking.
I’ve grown old of  your lies,
Your stare induces pain,
From your once loving eyes.
Please, your making me Insane.
A burning sensation stings my eyes,
As my tears stain,
You try to calm your lies,
Calling me to you, calling my name.
I don’t know who your calling.
I’m no longer her.
You don’t care, you don’t deter.
Ive picked myself up from the dirt,
Too many times.
You keep pushing me down, despite the hurt
Im the product of all your crimes.
You disappear,
And Im supposed to sit, waiting.
Anxiously sitting in fear.
Anticipating.
Will my love come back to me?
Or will you still be the beast?
Will your anger be set free?
Will the lies and cheating seise?
I cant tell you why,
I sit here still.
I cant tell you why,
I still sit here, to cry.


Details | Free verse | |

Regrets

This anger that is inside me now is tearing me apart,
    After all this time I find you had been lying from the start.
I am hurting so much from the pain you have caused me,
    By using your beauty and charm so I would not see.
All the lies and deceit while loving you and giving all my trust,
    I will expose your evil ways and mean doings this is a must.
Never  should another endure what you have put me through,
     This I will make sure of if it's the last thing that I ever do.
How dare you break my heart and then treat me so bad ,
      It  takes a lot to upset me but girl you have made me mad.
You've no idea the rage that I am carrying inside me now,
      I will make you regret this one day I will figure out how.
If it's the last thing I do I am going to make a example of you,
      How and when I am not sure of but trust me it will be soon.
You walk away from me as if you've done nothing wrong,
      Believe me girl I will show you and it wont take me long.
Seriously do you think you can get away with treating me this way?
      So wrong you are for that and you will know this one day.
That deceiving the man thats so in love with you ,
      Is something you are going to learn not to ever do.
Why would you ever do this to a man that loved you so,
      I guess this is something that I am never going to know.
This anger inside that is slowly tearing me apart ,
       Blinded by your ways I was completely in the dark.
Just one more thing I must say to you before I go ,
       You are evil  and that's something everybody will know.
TAC
   


Details | Free verse | |

Hurt me

Thanks for caring, 
Every word that comes from your mouth
Its a lie, that leaves a mark
a mark that hurts.
Telling lies is your best game
Leaving everyone hurt
Hurting everyone who loved/cared about you
I guess thats what makes you happy
Making other people hate you
Thinking your the best 
When your not
You think its all a game
taking love and making it hate
Showing that you dont care 
Taking more then what you want 
Im not playing your game anymore
It hurts me more
I guess I didnt mean anything to you
Having fun taking peoples lives
Breaking them down
making them feel small 
Making learn how to hate 
Have fun while you hurt people
Taking more then 
what you need is Nothing 
Not love


Details | Free verse | |

Why

I`m SICK of People who laugh at me,
Sick of them MOCKING me.
Don`t they know it makes me feel Bad?
Being Embarassed infront of them ...
Makes me feel all alone.

I feel Useless with them laughing at me,
with them looking at me Funnily.
I tried to endure it but I give up!

I want to change, To change who I am.
I want God to know! That I don`t want who I am!
This Bruises on my Body,
Is my Punishment to my ownself!

The Pain I feel that they can`t.
It`s too much!
Just too much to take

Why can`t they just accept me?
Why can`t God just Change mE?
Why can`t I be Someone Else?
Why can`t I be Perfect like them.

I wnt myself gone.
I want myself to be new,
But why can`t I?
I don`t Understand.

Why can`t they just Accept me for Who I am?
Why can`t I accept myself for who I am?
Why can`t god make me as Someone else?

I hate it!
I hate this Feeling!
and I just can`t take it anymore


Details | Free verse | |

Itachi's immortal

Itachi’s immortal 
He turned his life into a burning hell
For him…
He made his little brother hate him 
To become strong
Although he did not do something wrong 

I can’t explain his love
I can’t imagine the pain he has to go through
He made contracts, he killed people, He took lives
For him, just for him…his little brother

Itachi planned it from all along
Sasuke thought he was trying to kill him 
Sasuke lived three years with hatred being his guide
Grew strong, but not strong enough to kill him 
Itachi loved his brother so much, made him hate him
For the love that was impossible to last
Itachi allowed him to take his life;
Not explaining his actions, but following his heart
Itachi was a good man, after all I thought he was bad
Gave his little brother the powerful Amaterasu
To protect him, just for that 
Sasuke heard the story, knew Itachi’s hell
Tears falling from his eyes asking…..Why!!!


	 






Details | Free verse | |

Surrounded and Lost- In the Nothing

It's like nobody knows me, or
Maybe nobody cares.
It's like I'm alone, so empty,
Though I'm surrounded by empty stares.
I try to be grateful.
I try not to be rude, but
It's as though the gifts and thoughts for me
Are filled with self-gratitude
From the giver, into the solitude.
I search deep within me.
I just cannot find
The answers buried in my heart, and
The truth behind the excuses in my mind. 
I fall helplessly into misunderstanding.
I see myself so spiteful and demanding.
I hate the way I am;
I hate the way I've been.
I hate the way I'm feeling.
There is no defense.
Someday I will figure out
Everything confusing me inside.
Today is not that day.
Right now is not the time.


Details | Free verse | |

Cutting

	The pain is too much,
I can’t take it anymore,
It makes me want to fall,
Straight through the floor.
	I’ve held it inside me,
For far too long,
I’m tired of being told,
That everything I do is wrong.
	The first time was an accident,
But I’ll do it again,
Even though I know,
Cutting is a sin.
	I hold the blade in my hand,
Swipe it across my skin,
I see the blood come pouring out,
I think I found a new friend.
	You may not believe me,
But I don’t feel the pain,
Even though the blood,
Pours like the rain.
	When I see the blood,
Coming from the cut,
I feel the pain leaving,
For my eyes are now shut.
	I finally found something,
I can control,
I know when to stop,
I control the flow.
	When the blood leaves me,
Other things do as well,
The pain and heartache,
There’s no more to tell.


Details | Free verse | |

A Charge

There is a charge for the naming of the stars
A week long trip to mars, and a cup of creamed coffee
Alongside a crumb-filled plate.  
There is a fare, a fare, if you dare,
Take a swim in the Delaware
Take a swim in mid-winter.
There is a fate to this loneliness
If you care to see it.
There is time, time to write poems if you’ll give yourself the time,
Time to aspire to your demise,
I no longer despise thoughts of suicide,
They’ve grown to comfort me
And these words, written in solace
Beneath the black ink of the pen 
And the wet salt of my face,
Beneath many thoughts and tears that I can’t describe.
Don’t touch my shoulder, 
My shoulder doesn’t exist.  
Don’t look at my face, I am not a pretty girl. 
Look with the look of a thief, you try to steal my soul,
Give my soul back to me!  
I no longer exist!  
I exist as the beat of hummingbird’s wings and I don’t know what to say about that
Every place belongs to it a different feeling, a different charge
A large charge, a very large charge for the hearing of my fate,
Most ears are plugged to it.
They are plugged to the sound of my decline, 
They choose to hear whatever their ear finds devine,
And I fall, into the dark, unto the candlelight
Which gives me more life than a mother,
A brother, a sister, a timeless friend that I knew,
Grew with, another time
There is a time to grow a time to fall a time to decline.
It’s thanksgiving day and the afternoon and I don’t want to be hear.
I don’t mind hearing the voices from afar, its just when I see your expression 
matching with your face and I feel the meaninglessness of this place and I hear 
the uselessness
Of these sounds, they penetrate my body with a sting,
A sting so sharp it kills my social skills
And solitude has been knocking a long time now 
So I may as well heed his calls.  

Suicide has also been knocking, and I’d like to heed his calls.  
I hate the holidays, they make me so sad. 
I like to look at guns, though I hate violence.  
I like thinking about the day I will shoot myself, 
Though no one can see through me, 
No one knows I have these thoughts,
Though dangerous, that is the way that I like it.


Details | Free verse | |

my pen and paper

My Pen and paper.

Tonight I will hate him
Tonight I will cry
Tonight I will hate every being
I’m not scared to lose myself
Hatred is the love of his life.

I hate him, I hate him
He will never be in my life
My life feels nothing, I feel like nothing
He feels stupid for never knowing me
I’m just not a child with no father
I’m a child who will never have a father.

He hurt me, im so hurt, I cry every night
My mom reminds me of him
They both deserve nothing from me
I owe them nothing
This is my life; I’m going to be happy
My life is this pen and paper
My life is in my words
My life is written on my lips and my mind
My life is when I’m writing my thoughts
My life is happy
I’m a very happy person.


Details | Free verse | |

Venom

"I hate you."
The words affect me like a snake bite-
Just moments before their presence
Seemed so utterly, securely impossible,
But they dart out like a flash of fangs
From my sunlit summer wildflower illusion-
I barely register the initial sting,
I feel completely... fine...
But the sudden ferocity has startled me
Enough that I run away, 
Only looking back when I'm far enough
To feel safe again...

Only now do I feel the effects of the venom-
The wound looks uglier now than it did,
And I feel my pulse as it stutters-
I'm slowly being paralyzed;
Limbs are numb
Lips, frozen
Eyes go blind
Heart...
It hurts...

Just...
Let it kill me
Quickly


Details | Free verse | |

REGRETS AND RESENTMENT

as time passes by;
like word born on the streets,
you never knew hard,
till it hits you deep within.
even if there is pain without the tears,
it doesn't mean it's any less of a struggle to forget.
hard aches on heartaches,
resentment is hard to leave by when the regret is there.
sublime tears that echoes and tears you up inside,
meanwhile, I try not to stray from my true nature!!!
vibration of a cry that is not too well played out;
pound per pound,
restless beatings of my chest,
leaves a residue of unsound sorrow that marks the epitamy of being alone,
which is never too easy.
like a melody that is deaf with tone,
cheating destiny has no future in it.
I am forever standing still in the sands of time,
like time has made me a mark of inequities.
no right direction to go from where I'm left off;
but just to look for the easiest way out!
still doesn't justify the reason of my situation.
out of the mourning dew:
I try to stay awake........
still, I miss missing the way we are!!!


Details | Free verse | |

Used and Abused

Guilty feelings is what 
I’m left with, 

How could I?
How could I be so weak?
How could I be so stupid?

How could I believe your lies? 
I should have known,
You were using me…

I should have been stronger
I could have said NO!!
Like all the other times
now I’m left with doubts
and insecurities…

You’re gone!
Heaven knows if I’ll ever 
see you again, 
me and my pipe-dreams
state of mind,
thought you loved me

All you wanted was my body
now my body might change forever…

I HATE YOU!
for taking my innocence away…

I HATE YOU!
for being the reason 
I’m left vulnerable,
left feeling used,
left feeling dirty…

What will my parents say?
I am only fifteen, still a child myself
I’m not ready 
to be a mother…

*This poem was inspired by the high number of Teenage Pregnancies around the world*


Details | Free verse | |

Their Replacement

Belittle me, 
if you will.
Throw those stones at my flesh.

I cannot do anything back
I shall not do anything back.

So harm me.
Please, just scar me.
And make myself feel that such pain.

I will sit there for you.
I will not move.

Please take your fill of mutilating such another
Take that fill upon myself, if you please.
I will become the replacement.

Just beat me.
Just only me.

My friends did nothing wrong.
I will endure that such pain which is meant for their flesh.
I will take all of it-all of it, for my friends.

Just do not harm them.
Just leave them alone.


Details | Free verse | |

Nightmare


Take me from this darkness, And put me in the light You left me to bare these horrid memories Of screams left unanswered I couldnt fight. No one to help, in sight. The nightmares dont fade. A soul thats dark, Stripped down stark, Im bare. This is my story to share. Its been a year today. Since you tortured me. Took my soul. I felt like slipping away, I felt life slipping away, I cant fight the storm anymore. My strength's grown too poor. I cant be the storm anymore. Written: 7/12/10


Details | Free verse | |

FACES OF FAILURES

never wanting;
ever regreting,
don't forget,
I'm doing it all on own two feet.
doubts so hollow,
not redeeming atonement.
so unsure,
with the risks of conscequences.
pressures of failures;
teeming with unwanted unknown neglect,
brooding the cost,
impartial to the reactions,
not heeding the learned lessons.
too much to consider own my own terms:
foundation no too firm,
living untill the broken end,
contemplating for the unknown answers.


Details | Free verse | |

Catch my fall

Catch my fall,
spring your palms 
before I hit 

catch my memories
soaring from
my pockets

the edge is drenched
with ice 

the past is not real,
letters just tucked
in your dressor 

break your back
as you catch my fall;
we'll lay cripled, 
drinking to the sun

sturdy feet I dont
envy.
too monotone 
too plain 

there is no chance in a 
steady walk

slam the gas,
run on the ice 
looking beyond the 
edge 

catch my fall as I 
cannot surpress 

coffee,work,gas,
dinner,coffee, stress

scream
"let me the **** out of this
snow globe"

bite and claw at the glass.

catch me as my 
fall is slowly getting
vast


Details | Free verse | |

little sister

I walk down this dark path knowing where it leads,

holding a small flower gently in my hand,

As i walk the air is heavy as if the air is pressing all around me,

I reach my destination a large old decrepit building,

Still showing the burn marks on the windows and door,

I hear a scream in the distance,

Looking around knowing that no one is really there,

Just that this building holds so many memories,

Memories that are so hard to shake,

Walking up to the steps to the door,

Memories of lost ones flow in my head like a flash flood,

That day I lost her,

I lost my baby sister,

I wish I could take it back,

Take back what I said to her,

"I hate you, your the worst sister ever",

But really I don't hate you,

I miss you every day,

Wishing I could turn back time and change the last thing I said,

But I can't,

So every year I bring you your favorite flower,

Hoping you'll forgive me one day,

I think placing the fragile Daisy down on the first step,

Turning and walking away,

Looking back at the scarred house every so often,

The wind blows,

Faintly heard in the wind "I forgive you"


Details | Free verse | |

abused

      this is for a special friend, who couldn't find love .. 

He says he loves me, he says he cares, but he doesn't want to say anything, when i want him to be there.  
Is the connection with love or hate showing? i ask myself " where is our relationship going"? 
i want him to love me for who i am, but if he doesn't ,
 i guess our relationship can end. are you glad your not in my body?
 are you glad you cant feel this pain? or are you glad i cant throw hurt and scars at you, from my hurtful silence that remains? STOP writing me down in
 history, with your dumb old twisted lies, STOP putting
 marks on my body, or like dusk..
 ill be saying goodbye.
 because of you, I'm limping with pain, because of you, my hurtful silence remains, because of you, i will be physically hurt for a while.
 because you wanted to hit me, and have no reason why. i don't want to be chocked up, punched again, kicked or even
 bruised..not mentioning the fact, by you, YES I've been used! why didn't i say anything, i bet you even sell drugs ? i
 just wish i had a true boyfriend, that didn't hit me, but give me hugs. when i dont do what you wan, you hit me, because 
i think your SLOW ! and that you should find another boxing bag, because i really .. have .. to go .. 

       (A.T.S)


Details | Free verse | |

The Crucible

Evil is among them,
Or so it truly seems.
Lies afflicting witches,
Is what holds the town of Salem at bay.

Abigail's mistake quickly turns into a terrible mess,
that leads to eternal damnation.
They tell the town that witches are among them,
to gain privileges that others cannot.

John and his wife have kept a cold house, 
because of John's choice to lay with another.

The lies continue for days and days, 
and people in the town of Salem even start to hang.
Abigail's lie leads her to control the town,
But what she doesn't know now is that she will eventually go down.


Details | Free verse | |

A Key To Me

Girl Side

A lock and chain surrounds my heart. 
As true love can only have the key. 
A person comes and tells you that they love you.
But can you believe them when you walk away?

A boy looks at you and smile.
You look back and think this might be the one.
Until he goes and breaks your heart until it lies almost dead,
clinging to life itself. 

You thought that someone would come and be your prince charming. 
And then you find out that it’s a lie. 
When is it going to be my time to have a love in my life?
Or when is it going to be my wedding day? 

A boy makes you feel comfortable 
and 
make you feel as if you were on top of the world. 
Then you wait for him at the tree that you two named 
YOURS 
but he doesn’t shows up. 

You makes changes. 
You let him go and cry until you fall asleep.
Now you feel as if the world was on top of you,
and your not on top of it. 

Boy Side

A girl comes along tell you that you are very cute.
You tell her that she is too.
But then she has a boyfriend. 
You feel set up.

You sit at your kitchen table scribbling on a piece of paper. 
“I hate myself. I hate myself,” a million times.
You think about death and why hasn’t it came yet. 
Makes you realize that you want to be different.

A girl is alone at a park bench
And she’s crying. Blood shot red eyes look up at you
You asks her is she okay. 
She looks at you and nods yes.

You make her feel comfortable
and 
tell her that she’s pretty. She kisses you. 
You start to date. 

Then you find out that she has other “friends”
She tries to explain.
You don’t let her.
You lock yourself in your bedroom for the rest of the day. 

You feel unwanted. Underserved.
You want to run away. 
You make a path of your own.
And never look back. 

Just ‘cause live throws rocks at you,
don’t let it win. 
Make you lifestyle yours. 
And don’t never give up on true love. 


Details | Free verse | |

Hate the way i lie

I cant stand there and watch you burn, its my turn 
I wont let you get hurt, even if I get burnt 
If I hear you cry It will make me die  
All this because you hate the way I lie 

This is real and we both know how it fells 
Right now the pain, it kills 
We wont fight it almost doesn’t fell right 
The right fells wrong, its like that song 

Fueled by our hate ,Blind from our love 
Its like I am drunk,  and stuck in a funk
You give me breath, when I cant breathe  

I cant leave and I cant stay here 
The farther I run, the closer I get
When its good its bad, when its great its worse

I cant stand there and watch you burn, its my turn 
I wont let you get hurt, even if I get burnt 
If I hear you cry It will make me die  
All this because you hate the way I lie 

Have you ever cared so much, when they are not there you cant breathe?
When they are there, you get week in the knees?
And when they leave, you can barley see.

I said I would never hurt you, and I see now how I did
Cant even look at you in your eyes
Trying not to think about all of the lies 
 
Crazy in love, or in love crazy 
Its time to go our separate ways, 
Its time for us to have a new day
That was yesterday, but today
Its a different day 
 
No promise I will show restraint 
Life is a game, play it without aim
I wont lie again, but I am still watching you leave
I guess that’s why you found Steve

I cant stand there and watch you burn, its my turn 
I wont let you get hurt, even if I get burnt 
If I hear you cry It will make me die  
All this because you hate the way I lie 

I did things I didn’t mean, said things that whernt so clean 
I am in a new pattern, with a different routine
But your the same as me, and just don’t believe
But when it comes to us, there is always a fuss

I know it was me, and you should flee 
Our relationship was crazier then it seams
Like a hurricane and a blizzard

So I pack my bags, and go outside
I can fell the pain, with nothing left to gain
Cant even look in to my eyeball , with out needing a highball
Next time I fight , It will be though a peep sight 

No next times, because I am gone
I am sorry for my lies 
My games is what caused pain, and she doesn’t want me back
I know I should not have lied
This time I am gunna leave, and set my slef on fire, 
That we people know we expired

I cant stand there and watch you burn, its my turn 
I wont let you get hurt, even if I get burnt 
If I hear you cry It will make me die  
All this because you hate the way I lie


Details | Free verse | |

The Calling

I’m sitting here another day. 
I feel as if it’s getting late. 
I don’t care what people say. 
I’m not going to that place. 
But then I hear your voice again. 
It’s calling me but we aren’t friends. 
There is nothing I can gain. 
I’m tired of living with this shame. 
I followed you around the world. 
You called us lovers until the end. 
But then you left just like the stars. 
You tore apart my empty heart. 
Yet now you sit here and call my name… 
Do you really think you can send me pain? 
I tried to give you a second chance. 
You blew it, hell, you just would again. 
People tell me I should move on. 
But what is life when you’re gone? 
I’m not saying I’ll take you back… 
Just that living without you is worse… 
Then having a heart attack. 
So I’m just sitting here drowning in sorrow. 
Though I might get better tomorrow. 
Yet still your voice is calling me. 
But don’t you get it, can’t you see? 
I loved you my whole life. 
But I would never agree to be your wife.


Details | Free verse | |

Pain

Pain…
A word with a thousand meanings
Used to express situations 
Full of agony mixed with suffer
Pain…
An adverb used to fulfill ache
A result of betrayal, lies, and disloyalty
A mask of cruelty, used to describe 
People, times, hurt
Without pain, without love, without hate
A world isn’t a world
These cause the continuation of the universe
Cause the break of some people 
And the patience of others
Without pain there is no hate 
Without hate there is no love
Without love there is nothing…
You can never understand pain
Unless you experience it 
You can never confront it 
Unless you have a heart
Build with courage, filled with love
You can never abandon it 
Cuz it will hunt you down 


Details | Free verse | |

Help, Ache, Scream, Mirror Me, I Am Only Human

Help.
Wish for it all you want, its not coming, you are all alone.
Ache.
The feeling inside your heart you can do nothing about with the fear you've shown.
Scream.
Is what you feel like doing but no noise comes out, 'cause the pain is too much, isn't it?
Helpless.
You've made yourself this way. Painfully anxious about what is ahead of me. . . I am this.
Myself.
Is who I have to blame for everything I have done.
Mirror Me.
It is my own refection I look to when searching for whose at fault when everything goes wrong.
I.
Do not hate myself but I am close to who I'd hate to be.
Human.
Someone who isn't me and will never be the same as me.
A break.
Give me one, I make mistakes, I'm just one person in a world of hate and I'd rather just be happy.


Details | Free verse | |

Still

I hate that you looked
Into my eyes and saw so much.
I hate that you never
Stood up for yourself.
I hate that I felt 
So warm with just one touch.
I hate that you were 
The first to think I was lovely.
I hate that 
Mistletoe,
French fries, 
Those songs, 
And friendly brown eyes 
All remind me of you.
I hate remembering
What we don't have.
I hate giving a hug
Just to find that 
You're not there.
I hate it when
You don't tell a joke,
But I still laugh.
I hate that I never forgot
The feel of your soft hair.
There's nothing like it.
I hate that I still cry
Because I cannot kiss you.
I hate that you
Are out of my reach.
I hate that I hate myself
For still missing you.
I hate that 
I still love you.


Details | Free verse | |

Living is a Pain

I am unhappy.
I just want to die.
I deserve to be at peace
And to finally find my happiness.
The earth makes me miserable.
I hate the site of people.
I am not treated like a human.
I am treated like a dog.
I want to be taken away,
and finally be put at peace.
living is a pain.
its not fair that i should have to live in it.
the evil that is humanity
is making my life worse.
things could have been great, 
if i was treated like the human i was.

i hate everyone.
i truly truly do.
i will never allow anyone in ever again.
i will live the rest of my life
in seclusion...
i will just wait out the rest of my life,
for that golden day that i die.
living is a pain.


Details | Free verse | |

Present with memories


A day of sudden changes.Clouds

cross the sky

like whales swimming North in rows.

The sun was bright,dazzled my eyes

with gold and silver.

Wind cut across my face

like a slap from an angry father..

Those who love can also seem to hate us too..

The lure of that small childish body

tempts them to divert their anger towards it.

When the ones who hurt you

are also the ones you love,

it’s hard to know which direction to run in;

but it usually turns into a circle.

Retreating turns into a new arrival.

Straight lines might be better. though

On a spherical earth

difficult to find.

Even parallel lines meet

In their Riemannian geometry.

So we can never get away

Sometimes the best we manage

Is to increase the circle’s radius.

Though how is hard to know.

Do you love me or hate me?

Do you want me to stay or go?

What do I want?Do I have a me?

The memory of warmth draws me back

Like a cold lonely beast leaving the jungle

To lie down with a what appears to be a lamb,

Surprising the farmer up early to milk his animals

Finding a strange new one

Looking with tender,puzzled eyes

into His Human Face.


Details | Free verse | |

Hatred Prevailed

Tangled in a dance almost tribal,
   knotted and weaved within you, my rival.
Convinced and contrived I hold my stature,
   pushing me further, my soul you fracture.
Drawing me close, your hatred barbaric,
   our syllable sonnet-song remains forever generic.
Pushing you away, my words an explosion,
   any hope of reconciliation, melts away like erosion.
Memories of you, a brain hemorrhage of reminisce,
   until all that I am left is your empty black abyss.


Details | Free verse | |

Turning Hate into Love

Hate consumes,
worms through our brains,
wasting time
best spent elsewhere;
Energy
should be deployed
on peaceful
things bringing
love to all.


Details | Free verse | |

Bygone Days

The sick sadistic people that torture the kid
Thinking of thoughts to fascinating in sin
Hiding behind a stature of loneliness he hates
A time warp in his chest it elates
Swaying through time with no cause or mentality
He don't want to feel like a congenital abnormality
Piercing his mind with no anesthesia
Mind caught in the lake of amnesia
Grasping towards another minoral fate
Sometimes in this bygone world its too late
Suffering a wraith in his vivacious serenity
So sad and unaware with no amenity
This boy has suffered for a time of days
Like most diverse and beseeching in many ways
But tampered with is his lamp of time
Puppet strings in his head now a mime 
The prescription of happiness is a lie
Bury the darkness as a maggot one day be a fly
This is the torture of a teen so young
Now no speech they take your tongue
Its over
Its over
Slit it in his own health
Slayed down for his enlightened death....


Details | Free verse | |

Volcano

Battle scars, erupting hot volcanos......
Who knows where the pieces of my heart are, who does?
I have hidden all my hurt....
You have chased away my will to live!
Pain runs through my heart like red hot lava;
Engulfing and burning, everything in its way!
You killed my dreams, my passionate love,
No more caring or trying to understand!
My sad soul and ice cold heart....
A hard black rock in its stead.
Every fibre of my being, then pulsing, now dying!
My love for you was like an exploding star,
Until your universe collided with mine and smothered it!
The vines of passion have cringed, dried up and died,
Laid to rest in the cold hard soil.
The taste of bitter aloe still lingers in my mouth!
My imagination has gone, leaving a blank dark hole!
My soul is screaming for release, “ just let me go”!
Red hot lava runs through my veins, engulfing my self being;
Me, myself and I have been burnt beyond recognition.
My ashes are floating away on an icy cold wind,
Scattered amongst the black, dark soil.


Details | Free verse | |

Way of the Rat

Like sunshine on a cold Spring morning
deceiving our judgment and senses,
the rat manoeuvres through honest lives,
a Machiavellian villain before our eyes.

Sharp pain in our back can not be felt,
slowly we bleed unknowingly from
malicious acts assumed as mistakes 
and poisonous words on metaphorical plates.

The gullible gobbling every last morsel 
coaxed by the rodent kings charm,
others now treat us with utter contempt.
Realisation dawns slowly, this was all meant.

A great planner and chess game player 
- a master manipulator,
this rat's moves to the winning check mate
eminate from the deepest bowels of dark hate.

Rubbishing others to his own gain,
convincing the blind he is the best,
while deadly charisma gnaws his path,
My fellow man I plead,  watch out for this rats wrath.




 


Details | Free verse | |

Laugh now cry never

Have you ever heared the term Laugh now and Cry later 
Well here is a new one Laugh now and Cry never
Im sitting here laughing at all this pain I have in my heart and wondering why I 
havent cryed yet 
It hurt to the point where I fall on my knees but nothing come out
It hurt to the point where If I ever see your face again I have thought of 
hurting you 
It hurt to the point where I want you to feel my pain
But then again nothing come out 
I guess I am heartless 
Or I guess I let you mess my head up so bad to the point where I cant cry or 
feel anything 
So I am laughing now and never crying again
Because remember everything that you have done and said to me 
You will see how It feels one day
Im laughing on the outside 
But hurting in the inside 
But still no tears and i ask my self why
But I dont want to know why
Im just going to live by my new rules 
Laugh Now and CRy never
No point of me wasting my tears for you because you are not feeling anything
you dont care how I feel you dont see the pain and hurt that you have gave me
But it ok Because i thank you I am a better women now and I will never let no 


Details | Free verse | |

Puppeteer

I hate you.
Does that bother you?
I hate that I care enough to hate you.
I hate that you make me over think things.
Do you care?
I can’t stand knowing that you don’t.
I despise the way you creep in and take over 
As if I’m your puppet. 
I hate how I always let you hurt me.
Do you try to hurt me? 
It makes me sick how much you cloud my mind.
I hate that you make me weak.
I hate me. 


Details | Free verse | |

World's religion

When wealth is worshipped in the midst of 
extreme poverty and degradation
jealousy, hatred and infliction stirred
in the hearts of poor,
poisonous emotion
is the seed of 
Terrorism.

When wealth is worshipped in the midst of
extreme poverty and degradation,
the sacredness of all life is dismissed
from the human heart,
acting as a semi-god
is the seed of
War.

When wealth is worshipped in the midst of 
extreme poverty and degradation,
the teaching of science and religion
fall on deaf ears,
worshipping a false god
is the seed of 
Collective Suicide.  




Competition by gautami phookan
3/12/14


Details | Free verse | |

My Deepest Hatred

My Deepest Hatred

I hate you
Honestly, I cannot stand looking at you
You have become a pain in my ass
You don’t listen to me
You do whatever you want to do
Whenever you want to do it
You destroy my life
My work and my soul
I am so sorry we ever met
True, we have been close for so long
You have been my best friend
Ever since the moment you came into my life
Now, I would love to get rid of you
Throw you in the trash where you belong
Get you out of my life
I want to once again play games with you
Share my poetry and stories with you
To spend so many hours looking at funny cat videos
But, that time is over
Your keyboard doesn’t work the way it should
You mousepad is totally brain damaged
And even your grammar check doesn’t work
I am tired of you and Best Buy is having a sale
So you are gone
Left out on the stairs so someone else can have you
Maybe you’ll behave for them
All the while I play with my new best friend
A two terabyte angel
With a nineteen inch screen
And a wireless keyboard
I could say that I will miss you, but I won’t
So all I will say is goodbye
And you will be gone
Your battery will be dead
But you will not be mine
So, I couldn’t care less.


Details | Free verse | |

The Hater

Hater, tell me why you hate?
Tell me...Do you know?
You have hated on me, yet you don't even know me
No, you don't even know my name
But you still hate on me
I'm just a human just like you, but I guess you can't see that
In your eyes I am the enemy
I am the one you wish to distory 
I wish I knew why
I've done no wrong by you
To me it's a crazy thing you do to hate on me
But I guess that's why they call you a hater 
Sorry my time does not allow for all that so see you later


Details | Free verse | |

A Cry A Howl

I hate living a lie
I hate pretend i'm fine
I hate putting on a smile
When I feel nothing but numb

I can't tell people these things I feel
For it goes to deep, you see
To many lives our at stake
To many fires to jump through

Sleepless nights, trying to concentrate
Thoughts seem distracted by the howl of the wolf
How there cry oh so similar to mine
Only mine is to remain unheard


Details | Free verse | |

You and Landon

We laughed so hard we fell off the bed
And I hit my head
We laughed even more
But i'm not quite so sure
anymore 
Do you take me for a fool
You turned your back and left me in the cool
You never will really know for real
I dont want to steal
Steal your time away from her
That would cause to much of a stir
It just bugs me 
Thats all 
One minute you hate eachother
And back stabing eachother
The next your her best friend
I never have backstabed you like you've done to me
Im a bigger person
Being your friend has worsten
Its worstened my thought
Like you have bought
You have bought my thoughts from me
Im as truethful as I cant be
I dont care if your friends
Just know my friend this is the end
When you say you hate someone thats taken seriously
Really
I'm tired of being confused
And all the friends I loose
Just trying to keep up with ya'll 
Im going to get up from this fall
I dont know if I can get over what she did
So im going to shut my lid
This may go unread
Bit its not a waste of lead
Its how I truely feal
And its real
Not fake, Its real like getting branded 
This is how I feal about you and Landon


Details | Free verse | |

Silent Night

Shouting and screaming
are the sounds that come from the house
So much hate swirls around the air
like a hurricane bound to hit land
Getting out of the home helps
Walking outside
into the chilly night
Letting myself breathe in
the crisp, cool air
Outside, 
silent and peaceful
an escape from the nightmare inside
Silence is all around me
a blanket of comfort
Sitting by the big, beautiful lake
I enjoy the silence
Looking inside the translucent windows
it is quiet
A compromise must have been made
for the time being
Inside the big house
it is silent


Details | Free verse | |

Hate Vs, Love

Hate to hate,
You hate me
Don't mean I have to hate you,
You hate
I will love
Just because
That is the person
I will rise above.


Details | Free verse | |

the maze of fate

Doing what it wants to do 
Ruining lives, accusing people, taking trust
Giving you a sin that’s not yours 
Letting you’re happiness fade
In the most not suited times, in the most simplest ways!!!
I hate it!!! I hate it!!! In many ways!!!
But you have no power over it, you just have to believe
Believe the words, trust it, but it will let you down 
It will sure do, it is written cannot be changed
You’re actions and prayers can change some of it 
But you shall not question, you shall not ask why 
Just pray to God to help you through, be good, act good
Do good, and then wait for the results…




Details | Free verse | |

Divided

Divided into the pieces of pieces of pieces,
That form my fully conscious conscience
I hate that love to love
Have the ability to love to hate
But will always hate to hate
I wish I could be the over praised,
over exaggerated,
over rated normality that is blessed to so many
But me
I want to be inside the box
because the weather out here,
sucks as much as my skewed and looped perception of
Where I thought I was going....


Details | Free verse | |

Pay No Mind - Just a Drunk

I drink to feel
but air fills my eyes 
and the projection
on my eye lids plays
a disappointing piece.
I hear voices 
but I can't hear words?
It's bathing me
but I'm as dry as a damned
grain of the driest center of the 
Mojave.
If anthrax was a thought
I'd be dead ten times over


Details | Free verse | |

Ominous Perceptions

Form a clean healthy conscious then a hero is made best when done in your own special way I'd like to say I've saved myself my mental health is beyond repair often I'm just not all there I don't have any fears but I still get scared All this talk of good and evil liars are the holiest of men they can trick you if you let them in I'm so paranoid is that too a sin? It's okay to not like me but please don't hate me because I'd hate for you to waste that on me I am just a little off beat with good intentions I make each statement seem so pretentious so you'll never believe a word I say I don't say much anyway I speak in riddles I think in rhyme a good escape route so hard to find you lost your marbles and now their mine your so engaged in commitments it should be a crime live free now or you'll lose more time


Details | Free verse | |

i hate celebrities

I’ve had it up to here
Feeling mad sat in this chair
As I turn on the flipping news
I hate hearing 
About what Will’s doing and what Kate’s wearing
I wouldn’t care if Will was dressed in a chicken suit
While Kate is on the floor licking puke
Wearing fake earrings
Down the market picking fruit
From a stall owned by Del-Boy and Rodney
With their child dressed as Mr Blobby
They aren’t more important than anybody else
Please stop acting like they’re godly
I’d rather use pliers to take out my wisdom tooth
Be stuck on the tallest building to get a different view
Than be forced to listen to A Cheryl Cole song
Wait hold up am I kidding you?
Or am I lashing out because I didn’t get ab date with her like I was wishing to?
Where do we go from here?
To sell records Nicki Minaj has to show her rear
Why am I supposed to care?
I just heard her new song and arghhh I think it broke my ears
You can’t rap or sing Nicki so give up please
Breaking news, Justin Bieber just sneezed
And people are going insane like he’s on his death bed
Quick go and pray, get meds
But don’t pray for that innocent teen who was left dead
I don’t care about what Rihanna’s doing
Don’t care whether she ate, Pizza, Fish, mince or ham
But thanks to twitter and Instagram
We can know all of her movements
With what I’m saying you probably think I drink too much
But I’m 100% sober
Put Kim Kardashian in the tumble dryer to shrink her butt
Let’s see if anyone still knows her
Take a joke people don’t get hurt fast
I’m just trying to get Kim to flirt back
While you’re all obsessed with her ass
I’m thinking she has a new man every 6 months how can anyone be her last?
I’m sick and tired of seeing the word “hater”
But please tell me who’s this “celebrity” in the paper?
X Factor today, Big brother next year
Some say Kim Kardashian has the best rear
When I saw her tape
I thought I know who to call if I ever want a night of boring and poor sex
Ok you made a sex tape have you done anymore yet?
Oh wait I apologise I see you also pose naked
I’ll be more surprised when you wear clothes and show faces
You have little girls idolising you why be so tasteless?
A lot haven’t got careers so they I’m a celeb it
Wait who are you? You’re no A-List
I guess they must have been desperate
I couldn’t name a single person from the only way is Essex
Nothing special you’re so basic
Some people fancy Katie Price and I don’t get it
All she does is show fakeness
It’d be like dating a plastic table
You are so far below greatness
You’ll never reach it you’ll never be able
Get a bit of money and when it runs out
You’ll get your boobs and bum out
Say 2 I like it when he does this and that when he’s in bed with me”
This is just part of the reason why I hate celebrities 


Details | Free verse | |

Mister Shrewd Eyes

You would think that I would try
To be a little more cautious,

And I commend those who can.
Yet I can’t help that I get a little…
  Stupefied 
    Mystified 
      Completely Mesmerized
When you get that gaze in your eyes.

I know what that look means.
It’s a frequency that I can count on.
When you get that grin
And put your hands behind your head.
I know what words are forming in your mind
Every single time.

And this is why 
I hate you,
Mister Shrewd Eyes. 


Details | Free verse | |

Colors

Colors, colors, is all I hear and see but can you say what matters other than trivial matters 
about your ethnicity or your so called set.
For Ignorance breeds violence
As Violence breeds hate 
And hate paves the way for more hate and a sense of helplessness and sadness.
Turning back a full circle to the ignorance you choose to embrace.
You see it’s a never ending cycle 
But listen, 
But listen to this
All Eyes are closed 
As Freedom screams in pain but one man open his eyes and answers to help
Freedom screams again and again and still all eyes stay closed
Now oppressions speaks and still no one opens their eyes 
Then again oppression speaks offering peace and all eyes open greeting him with welcoming 
arms.
Don’t let bearers of false gift and hope cloud your judgment
As freedom lay dying, oppression stands up right holding you, its weapon.
  


Details | Free verse | |

another life gone

this is for someone who ever lost someone
another life gone 
taking by hate crime
taking by being in the wrong place at the wrong time
taking by someone who cant take life no more
taking by a mother who dont want her kids
taking by a drunk as a father 
taking by someone who dont care bout life 
another life gone 
for some crazy  reason
there no more talking 
there no more looking for help 
just blood all over the place 
and another family is as helpless as they can be
because noone want to help
the big man is laughing because there is another black man or girl gone
why hate us so much 
its getting to that point where you going to walk over body 
because there will be no more place to put them
another person 6 feet under the ground
another family looking for help
why what is wrong with this world today
do any one have a care in their heart


Details | Free verse | |

my life

what am i living for ?
for eating, sleeping and working...
what is so special in my life ? 
whenever i sit alone ,i keep on crying 
for something that i want very much,
for something that i cant find...
and this thing made me hate everything around me , 
even the nearest person to me. 
i hate myself for not changing my life, 
for not being happy , 
for not being genuine with my self, 
for not being extrovert  
for obliging myself to be detached from the world and from the people around me.
but i the love the Sara in me , the Sara that's sleeping deeply in my soul waiting  
for me to wake up her...     
but my question is :is she going to help me??? 
some people born to be happy and to have a nice, easy life 
but some people born to have a tough and a hard life...
why do i have to be from the second kind ???
i keep telling myself : im the happiest person on earth, which is not .
i try to fill my time in anything to stop the feeling of orgasm , 
because it hurts my soul a lot , and it's hard to be healed again ...


Details | Free verse | |

Rat Parade

Fat rats scurry 
             rubbing their coarse 
fur on one another

Turning left and right...
The rats seize to 
see, they choose to be blind

Every pivot and turn
a gaining step 
               is never taken

Zero exits are 
applauded with *****eating smiles 
                    Distracted by the distant
rich cheese. 

No maze exists
only the smell of satisfaction.


Details | Free verse | |

ANOTHER REASON TO HATE THIS SEASON

It's time to put a hold on hobbies, except for the weekends,
watch less television, and go to sleep around ten;
and if any of the teens came home after nine,
they would be grounded and denied privileges...
they would have another reason to hate this season!


I had the same unhappy feeling about school,
September was the least liked month for any boy,
and that meant playing no games, or flirting with girls
in shady parks, or baseball fields...but all in all,
it was a challenge to break away from those indulging things:
like children who had another reason to hate this season!


Details | Free verse | |

DRINK EVER AGAIN

O, please forgive me, honey
I behaved like a damned fool at your sister-in-law’s house
Last night drinking like a bull
O, please, please, please, honey
You got to forgive me once more time
I do promise you I won’t do it again
I was a fool by making such a show of jealousy because of that past
Lover be there with all entries and gangs of his

O, babe, babe, babe, babe!
I am not going to drink ever again just tell me you’re still loving me
As yesterday as before and when it done consistently attached
You would say it loud: I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!
I was afraid to lose you again with so much drinks and rages
In front of this past lover showing himself up like a damned king
And driving that heavenly Mercedes-Benz!

I was telling you now it was anxiety and depression and predisposition to adult
Alcoholism with difficulty developing my identical love and passion and therefore
I am so sorry, and please, o, My Little Bee! You ought to forgive me this time
As many times we have done it before!

I lost my mind again
O, tell me before I kneel in front of you just as those drastic tears start falling
From me that you are still loving more than ever

I swear for Jesus I won’t drink ever again
I would go to the Church with you again and again and  again and again,
but I’d send flowers to your sister-in-law in Florida as a way to confirm you 
I have changed I am not going to drink ever again for God’s sake
You would see, o, honey, your papito  has changed; you got to believe me
O, please, babe, forgive me!
O, forgive me!  I yell you again
O, God don’t let me down; so God gives me strength not to kiss a bottle ever again
And don't let me to scream like a fool

O, baby, Sweet Baby! O, My  Sweet Totorri! Your man has changed
O, please, My Pumpkin Pie, kiss me and let me in because your papito feels cold
Outside in this unfriendly porch and the moonlight is full and pregnant
I told you I was a fool and I tell you now forgive me, honey 
This man, your man, is telling you the truth this damned fool
Really has changed!


Details | Free verse | |

I Hate preview

I  HATE

I hate to say I understand some ones pain knowing I really have no clue.
And I hate trying to give them advice when I know I wouldn't know what to do.
I hate saying its going to be okay when I myself is doubting it in my mind.
And I hate asking millions of questions when I know the answers are hard to find.
I hate to pry into someones personal space even thou I know a hug is needed.
And I hate to fuel the fire of emotions by accident because I don't want to feed it.
I rather not be the one held responsible when someone's world comes tumbling down
And I hate to be the person that catches the after shock but I'll always be around.
I hate to say it doesn't matter when I know deep down inside it really does.
And I hate make people dwell in the past because this is the way it is and that's the way it 
was.
I hate to see people sob even thou it doesn't move me enough to make me want to cry.
And I hate to see people who hate life so much that it would make them want to die.

I hate to see that ignorance is still being birth in a country who lives off of being diverse.
And I hate to think that we came along way in these hundreds of years just to disperse.
I hate that it takes drastic measures to bring people together as one.
And I hate that people no longer have the attitude of what's done is done.
I hate that people now have to take things to the next level when it could easily be dropped.
And I hate that if your walking down the street innocently your life could now be stopped.
I hate that kindness is now taken for weakness so people are taking advantage of others.
And I hate when fathers don't take care of their responsibility and the same goes for 
mothers.


Details | Free verse | |

The Truth of Fiction

Bounding behind the bushes of your favorite place to feel alive
Dance upon the remains of the memories of those deep inside
It's a smile upon the face of the ones pressing upon your temples
Wishes bring about the hope that maybe the dream is just as simple

Dip the bucket into the well of your soul and show us what you pull out
Hanging by their harp strings, dangling about on every cloud
What will we do when we come to find the villain and the hero are one and the same?
When time's run out, your name's reached the head of the line and there's no one else to
blame?

You wish just once home would come back to you, you've had your fill of desolation
You hate your bitter-sweet, oxymoron, paradoxical life
The movie without film, the script without paper, the credit without pay
Hypothetical reality, I hate you


Details | Free verse | |

That Which I Hate

From the Lord
I have learn not to Hate
but what Fate has taught me is to
allow Hate
to be that thing I dislike the most.
I dislike Hate to the point
that I will not hate Hate for the Lord
will make his own point.
Those that Hate shall face the Lord
and swift is his fury
and deep is the abomination
in his word.

Mary Evangeline


Details | Free verse | |

fetus

every feeling, every thought
cursing through these veins
cut off by the blood clot
i don't miss these growing pains
you taught me to love
you taught me to hate
when push came to shove
i could always relate
every feeling every thought
i was your fetus
i was your blood clot
and now look at us
full of self pity, self doubt
i hate you, I HATE YOU
for everything i'm about
what is it? i didn't do?
the feeling the thought
one year away
from doing everything i wasn't taught
what is it? i didn't say? a part of me is always you, it's always 'us'
its's every feeling, it's every thought
find another fetus
find another blood clot


Details | Free verse | |

the way i was

 when i think back to the way i was 
 when nothing mattered i was so care free
 you called me from the pit of insanity 
 a hell i built to keep out the family

 when the prison walls are the ones i built
 layers of guilt, mortar of impossibilities
 i'm in my own war behind closed doors
 nothing seems to matter much to me

 finding peace so far away not even a piece 
 the war still rages from the east to the west 
 taking no prisoners in my domestic race
 forget everything and run is usually the case

 but you strolled into my life bright as the noon sun
 over looked all my sin for it was paid before i begun
 washed this wretched soul to be white as the fallen snow
 the path narrow , you pointed the way i should go


Details | Free verse | |

Pressure

The truth revealed; regret settles in.
"Why, why me?!?!?!"
The blades whipped out; hatred.
Knight in armor, mutated into satan.
"Your devil horns stab my back!! Why you have NO mercy to me?!?!?!"
Can't forget...the stained corner calls. 
Pulled in...your face in sight.
"Help!!! Please, I beg you!!!"
Reached out hand..so close to touch...gone.
Slipped into the hell you left on my shoulders.


Details | Free verse | |

Encrypted Mind of Skippy 3

Its the tongue and cheek when the compulsive liars always speak,

Act bleak as they continue to sneak-a-peak,

Of what leaks the poison they continue to drink,

Wander aimlessly in the dark... clockwork makes you distraught,

So I start the spark as it increases the beasts bark,

Outlined in chalk as the casualties reappear on the chart,

Future looks grim when you continue to sin,

Happiness within is smothered from the pain you feel unforgiven,

Love transforms to hate... hate dissipates the emotions you migrate,

Souls irate... suffocating itself until you lose it's mind state,

Dissect what remains, emotions scattered in the brain leave you,

Marked insane as you pray that someone will stop the wicked rain,

Try to rearrange the colors you plaster on the paper once plain,

Tick-tock on the repeated clock has all activities come to a sudden stop,

Drop the top as you reveal what makes you pollute your precious crop,

Dissect this brain... speak my name... feel the pain coursing through these veins,

I confided and love I provided to be rejected when you said I'll always be accepted,

I leave it where you left it but you can't respect it so I ****ing severe it,

Endless planet seems flawless until the drugs enahances it,

Evil glances provide with the answers to defeat the infectious cancer,

Label me a bastard because I won't provide your ignorance with laughter,

Ever care so much you lose yourself? Ever hated something so bad you hate yourself?

Day in and day out I'm in a battle with myself yet all your worried about is yourself?

Where's the bodies wealth when you work your soul to death,

The curse makes me beserk as I continue to kill the retards,

Lost pace increases the space... the space leaves you dirt to face,

The worth of faith diminishing along with the morals of mans good grace,

Graze on my lawn... silently remove my last pawn,

Stitch your faded cloth as your reality filters your thoughts,

Hear the gossip... don't stop it, accept any love when it's offered,

That's why I'm bothered... people care but dare to not play fair,

Satisfying their chest rather then the one who leave it bare,

The circus will surface as you evil mother ****ers hide behind the curtains,

Chairs with dead carcasses will reveal your actions caused your hollow coffin,

Eyes tell the story... from the mistakes and from things you did all holy,

The glory of defeating your titans is satisfaction enough to keep fighting.


Details | Free verse | |

The Consoler

So now what?
What do I do now?
I feel… empty.
Like… like something disgusting crawled inside me
And ate all my insides.
…Ate my soul.
Ugh, I feel horrible!
I know, I know… people are tired of me.
Tired of how I complain,
Or rather… the lack of my complaining.
I sit and think all the time. 
Staring off into space.
It’s just… I feel safe there.
Safe in my mind…
But I’m not safe.
I’m far from it!
I’m stuck in a world of depression…
And no one cares.
They just want me to get over it!
But I can’t!
I hate it!
I hate how they look at me,
Like I’m crazy or something!
It hurts… it hurts so much.
They don’t understand…
All I want… is to be held.
For someone, Anyone,
To hold me in their arms… just for a moment.
To tell me it’s okay and that they’ll be there.
But no one does.
It hurts because…
Because I’m the consoler, never the consoled.
I go to others to help them,
But no one comes to help me.
I feel… trapped.
Trapped between wanting to cry and scream,
And wanting to smile and be done with it.
But… what can be done?
Life goes on and I must continue my work – to console.
This is the price I have to pay.
Everyone comes to me with their burdens and lays them on me,
But they don’t see that they are drowning me.
Oh well… I will continue with this task that I have been given,
And I will continue to carry others burdens – 
Until the day I mentally can take no more or until… I die.


Details | Free verse | |

vex

hatred is a throbbing
missile of evil death
that throbs in the

holy sh*t, a now-or-later
goddamn these things make my teeth gritty


Details | Free verse | |

defining innocence

one life for you to watch
with the perfect plan
everything mankind is
on center stage
to decide our own levels of innocence
welcome to judgement day
please please condmen me for my mistakes youve made
I'll be your reflection
with all my preplanned perfect protests i call mistakes

your feeling tortured?
to see how you all add up to just one
everything you are and have become
i take on and display rub in your face
lead you to temptation to throw me away

watch me steal
and lie and cheat
watch me fight and hate and freak
watch me manipulate love and cry
watch this life of the perfected reflection of our innocence
but keep it alive

see the perversity we have become
notice my flaws and deny you have them
i am your innocence on trila today
a victom of how the world around me is a reflection and they all add up this way
so welcome to judgement day where you watch misunderstand
and seal your own fate

The life of a con
the cheater
the liar
the heartbreaker
the believer
the nonconformist
the follower and leader
the life on center stage for you to pick apart to learn from
milk it while you can
your opinions of me is nothing more than all about you
and as you judge me you have judged innocence
your innocence and condemned mankind
for a selfless person that has gone out of his way

to be the terrorist
the hate the lover
th epeacekeeper
the husband
the loner
the brother

here i am all of you my reflection creating what i am today
learn to steer the wheel of the robot i am
and make me truly innocent once again


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Concentration

Broken back
Add upon the weight
To force a bow
You broke my heart
I hate you for all that you are not

Broken spirit
Say it twice to get it right
To choke the thought
You broke my heart
I feed you to the animal you’ve created

You torture me with what I can never be
You’ve abandoned me, I am an orphan
I am an orphan, the bastard son of a corpse

No matter how long I lie in the bed
The sheets remain always cold
No matter how long I let the wound bleed
I still feel like I’m drowning
So with this and that put down
I know nothing else matters
Nothing else matters as much you used to
But now
There is nothing

I am a ghost, in the absence of mirrors
I am an echo, in the absence of substance
I long for everything that only loss can give to me
I hate my own words
I am slowly growing weary of the pen
It no longer soothes; my fingers ache from the pressure
I despise my own voice, as only I will hear it
I am full of loss
I want nothing more than to lose myself in the crook of someone’s neck
But the pain of forcing the tears kills the comfort
I am tired and bored of the words stuck in everyone else’s throat
I want someone else to fill in my blanks
I want to close my eyes
And go to sleep
Just go to sleep

But that is too easy, and I will give nothing more to God
So, I’ll cry myself to sleep or at least cry to myself


Details | Free verse | |

Life

Life is complicated 
We love it, we hate it 
And hate each other 
And every other person we meet 
Cause we think 
We have to please them 
And we dont want to 
But we dont got to 
So we dont 
But thats what theres too much of 
Theres not enough love 
Between us 
You've seen us 
We fight 
In spite of one another 
One hating the other 
Breaking them down 
Then turning around 
And putting on another face 
Going to another place 
And doing the same thing 
Playing the same song 
When all along 
You want more 
You fall to the floor in exhaustion 
Your lost in your habits 
How can you change now? 
With the life you live now? 
You can, Ive seen it done 
Don't run, face your trials 
And in awhile 
You'll forget the strife 
And love your life. 

Tamara Brown
11-21-10


Details | Free verse | |

The Mirror

(I bet you didn’t)
Know
That
All teenage girls
Would grow
To either
Love
Or to hate
The mirror.

Wretched mirror.

Those that hate it are scorned
For lack of self-confidence
But if they don’t hate it
They love it too much
And those who do love it
Are praised for (shallow) beauty
And narcissus wins.  

Others are scorned (by the less un-wise)
For VANITY
And America has just lost
Another female
To rape, lust, and other fragments.
America just lost another woman
To wholesome possibilities
Of happiness.


Details | Free verse | |

Lay OFF of Me

You are under his roof now...
Deny it not
You are his own comforter
Lay off of me, you stubborn child -
LEAVE ME!!
You feel perfect
When he's near...
When I appear...
You draw back in fear...
You are his property now
It's SO true - 
You are a selfish, little liar 
You burn me like flames 
You called me nasty names
Your image transformed to shame 
You witch!
I was caught under your spell...
You dwell...
IN DARKNESS...
Down you go in the abyss
You are so insidious....
Frankly, you've done enough damage
While I tried my hardest to break free
From the bondage 

You dwell in the shadows 
With the predator...
Lay off of me,

YOU total disaster

Obey your master - 
the devil...




Details | Free verse | |

The Years of Regression

Smeared across my face
An expression of pure shame
Robbed of all my grace
By a thief without a name

I still wear that same expression
Only now it's beneath my mask
Hidden from the world's perception
Because I don't want them to ask

As the expression stayed with me
So has the feeling
And throughout the years I've felt these wounds
Reopen and start bleeding

The only solution was to deny the pain
And bury way down deep
But it always rises to the surface again
And out it slowly seeps

And for all these years
I've managed to conceal
These painful memories
That just won't seem to heal

It makes me feel so alone
But I've never been one to ask for help
So everyday my heart grows a little more cold
And all I can think to say is oh well


Details | Free verse | |

LOVE HATE

You used me 
Tore me apart
Left me with a broken heart

A heart that will never mend
Shattered and crumbled within

I loved you with all my heart
Couldn’t stand it
When we were apart

You took all of me with you
When you left
But that’s ok I’ve
Found someone else

Someone who will love me
For me and not for who they want me
To be

I  love to hate you
For all you put me through

All the times you ignored me
All the lies you said
Don’t matter ne more
Cause to me your dead

So I love to hate you
Just know that I’ve
Found someone better
And thanks once again

Thanks for showing me you wasn’t
Best and for that I’m blessed


Details | Free verse | |

ADVERSARY

                         I hate him.
But in that fiery sensation of hate there tingles love.
                         He is my enemy.
Since childhood we have dual in every stage of life.
                         I fight him.
Ultimate joy in victory,  Only vengeance in defeat.
                         I swore to end him.
I swore to dance on his grave,  To drive him from this earth.
                         He is dying.
He lies helpless in great pain,  I kissed his forehead.
                         I shall grieve him.
Friends come and go but a lifelong adversary makes life worth fighting for.
                         I love him...


Details | Free verse | |

The Complications of a Son

Correct me if I’m wrong but is not love built on trust?
And if love is built on trust, do you trust me?
God teaches us to look past ones actions,
Yet you continue to judge.
I work so hard for a sliver of your approval,
Only to be crushed by my own imperfections.
If you have taught me one important thing,
It is this:
You are my mom,
Not my friend.


Details | Free verse | |

Deepest Reaches of Hell

In the blackest night a foul breeze blows across me
as the demons lust and desire they ravage me.
Their claws tearing my flesh, he has sent them to collect me.

My screams echo through the deepest reaches of hell,
Satan smiles when he hears the sounds of my pain and suffering
as they drag me down to him. His joy filling my soul with hate
and contempt for him, he feels alive.

Like a cut rose I fight for life only to dry up, 
to be tossed out as if I were nothing,
not even a thought or a memory will remain.

Lost in the throws of abandon at his will,
living only for his pleasure, his every whim.
I hate him; I hate myself for being lost to him.

My heart chained and locked to his, happiness eludes me.
I find myself waiting for the peace of death to find me.
In a constant battle I fight for my sanity, I live my fears.

I defy him in all places of my heart, 
with victory over my soul, he laughs at me.
My eyes see the blood dripping from his teeth;
his breath putrid with the smell of decaying flesh and bone
of the ones who came before.

As his darkness unfolds over my mind I am lost,
lost to myself, lost to love, lost to life.
Even in my dreams he degrades me,
forced to watch as he crushes them before my eyes.

I find myself covered in the blanket of his wickedness,
chained by his evil heart; his demons hold me to him, 
there is no escape.

In the blackest night, when the foul breeze blows against me
I will know they are coming.
He has sent them to collect me once again.

His lust and desire will consume me,
my screams will echo and he will smile as they bring me to him.
Once again my suffering will make him feel alive.

This devil, 

this Satan

 will keep me forever imprisoned in the 
deepest reaches of hell.


Details | Free verse | |

When love turns to hate

Eventually you will find out,
why my feelings are in hibernation,
Opening the past is to sleep, 
when dreams turn in the wrong direction,
I've tossed and turned, 
dodged and ducked all the past nightmares,
The dreams are my life's memories,
entwined in sordid affairs,
Embossed on slate, my life's carvings,
for everyone to see, when love turns to hate,
To drink, it smother's the feelings, 
discarding what was ment to be fate......


Details | Free verse | |

two of me

smooth soft flesh
and eyes so clear
threw out these years
you've changed
rugged tattored skin
tears fall fast
he said i will never let you down

i lied to you
and i lied to myself

but know my subconsious
and the other me lead me to belive
that i could set you free
i am a liar
i have regrets
but but i can never forget

i walk one way
i look the other
i rip myself in half
who am i?
who are you?
****ing make up your mind
before he says otherwise
heart torn in two
but there both just for you?
what do i say what do i do?
i guess with regrets you need to forget?

for there is two of me!
for there is two of me!
which side do you see
but your heart resides in me!

 


Details | Free verse | |

I Hate You

I hate you
I hate you so much
For what you did
I didn't deserve it 
I said no
But you didn't listen
Now I lost everything
I lost everything that was important to me
It doesn't hurt you
Not the way it hurts me
I'm damaged
Emotionally, physically, and mentally
I can never trust a man again
I will never be the same
I just don't understand 
Why? Why me?
It's been over a year since it happened
But I haven't forgotten
I never will
Everytime I see my son 
I think of you
I ask myself
How did I get someone so special and beautiful
From someone so ugly and hurtful
I don't know
I don't think I will ever know
I just hope that 
Wherever you are 
You know that I hate you.


Details | Free verse | |

Change of Heart

Curse the lame for not walking
Curse the blind for not seeing
Curse the deaf for not hearing
Curse the mute for not speaking
Curse the mentally ill for being crazy

Curse the dumb for being stupid
Curse the poor for their poverty
Curse the fat for being obese
Curse the weak for not being strong
Curse the ugly for not being beautiful

Curse the homeless for being homeless
Curse the unemployed for not working
Curse the disable for being unable
Curse the sick for being unhealthy
Curse the old for not being young

Curse them with every breath you breathe
And one day every curse you utter
Will become of you and not the others
Life will bite you back and tear you apart
Unless you have a change of heart


Details | Free verse | |

Why Must I die

Why must I Die
Today I see babies born
Just to be torn and killed.
Thousands of young and old 
Yelling why must I die.
I did nothing wrong.
Is it hate or is it joy 
They don't know the fate.
Rwanda 's genocide killing all those that stand.
Swing clubs and machetes. Cutting them all down.
But they don't know why i must die they think.
The blood rolls in the streets. 
Who can stop it we want to know
Peace is the answer not the dope.


Details | Free verse | |

Hateness s can rise to death

I hate the way you talk to me 
I hate it when u care

Cuz you’ve given me false love 
That dies from just a stare

That rips my heat apart
That makes wanna travel 
That makes me wanna declare 

I hate you 
I hate it when you stare

Not once did u cover my wounds
Not once did u stop my tears

You’re love is getting falser 
Day skipping day 

I hate you so much
You make wanna swear 

You’re not the reason I smile everyday 
You’re not the will that is written in my latest declare

I hate u so much 
You make wanna cry
 
I hate you
You never were the way u were befor


Details | Free verse | |

Ugly

Don’t know when it started….freshman year?
I look in the mirror
	See….fat
		Hanging
			Bulges
				UGLY 
UGLY UGLY UGLY UGLY UGLY UGLY UGLY 
		UGLY
Remembering the food….calories….sugar….fat 
Passing my lips….
		Leading down my throat
			Into my stomach….onto my hips….my face…my stomach…my arms…my legs
			UGLY
Next day, no food….hardly any water….
Stomach is growling….I don’t care.
	Killing myself….I don’t care. All I want is to be…
Pretty.
Two weeks later….friends are suspicious. I had a big lunch/breakfast/dinner. I’m not hungry.
	My stomach protests…I don’t care. 
I’m caught…I give up. I’m weak.
Food passes my lips…
		Leading down my throat
			Into my stomach…I protest. Too weak to care. I eat.
Sophmore year. I look in the mirror.
I see….fat. 
	Skin hanging
		An extra set of boobs on my sides
			Bulging under my clothes….tags getting larger along with my waistline.
I am fat. I am ugly. Like twins they go together…fat and ugly. Ugly and fat. 
			UGLY
	I refuse to eat…I pretend I am full. Move food around, no one will notice?
		Stomach growls but I fight back…killing my body but I don’t care…I want to be skinny.
I want to be pretty.
If I am skinny, I am pretty. Like twins they go together…pretty and skinny, skinny and pretty. 
I am neither. I am not pretty. I am not skinny. 
	I am FAT. I am UGLY.
		FAT.
		UGLY.
I step on the scale. I have lost five pounds. Success. 
I reward myself by not eating for another week. Three pounds are back…I hate myself. 
I look in the mirror. I am still fat. I am still ugly. 
My friends see the dark circles. They know I’m not eating. Some say something…I ignore them.
	I’m scared. I’m lost…but I don’t care. I am still UGLY. Fat and UGLY.
I’m running…trying to lose weight faster…I want to be skinny.
	Dark edges around my eyes. I don’t care. 
	Head is spinning. I don’t care.
	Breathing is labored. I don’t care.
I WANT TO BE SKINNY.
My friend finally confronts me. If I don’t stop…she will tell someone. I care. I do.
		I’m scared. 
Food passes my lips. I hate myself.
	Weight is still dropping…I find myself eating again.
		Yet…always lingers. I look in the mirror…I see…
			Fat….UGLY
Junior year. Eating again. Sometimes skipping meals...trying not to go back. 
	Constantly an option in my ear when I step on the scale…
			Look in the mirror….
				And don’t like what I see.
I fight it. I want to be strong. 
	I force myself to eat…it comes back.
		I begin to skip meals…watch the scale drop.
			Along with my self esteem….again….
Friends are fighting with me, I miss them…I am constantly on the verge of tears…
	The only thing I can control anymore is the food…I can stop it from passing my lips.
		I may not be sleeping but at least I’m not gaining weight.
I look in the mirror. I want to see me. Instead all I see is what I need to lose…what I’ve always seen.
			What she used to say to me….
				A few more pounds…maybe then I won’t be…fat.
		UGLY
I open my mouth…it all pours out. I open my computer…the words arrange themselves. 
	Tears at the truth. I am sick….but I am not
FAT.
I am not 	
			UGLY

I refuse to hate myself. I refuse to hurt myself. 
	I WANT TO BE PRETTY.
But that is not the way to be.  
	No more. No more pain…no more starving. I will be strong. I am not weak. 
I look in the mirror. I stare past my reflection and I fight the demons…
	I am not fat. I am not ugly. 
		I will change. For my friends who love me. 
			For my family.
				For me.


Details | Free verse | |

Forget You

Forget You
and your stupid shallow ways
Forget the way you touch me
Forget the things you say
You are no better
You are empthy and alone
I hate you
I hate every inch of your body
I hate the smell of your skin
I hate the sound of your voice
Don't call me
Don't think about me
You don't deserve me
So forget you for making me want you
Forget you for coming back
Forget you for going away again
I hate you for making me think about you
I hate you for making me lose control
I hate you for coming inside
Forget You
and your cold soul
Forget the way you look at me
Forget the way you make love to me
I freaking hate you for making me love you
So Forget You!


Details | Free verse | |

Love is my enemy

I love you
Those are three words
That can change your life forever
I love you
Those three words
Express how you feel about someone
But
How do you know that they really love you
They can easily say say it
Then
They can easily break your heart and hurt you
Deeply
How can three simply words do something like that
Well
Those words
They hold special meaning
They start a commitment
I love you
Ugh
I hate those words
Do they they really care
I don't think so
They just tell me what I want to hear
Then they betray me
I hate them
But
One thing a really hate is
Love


Details | Free verse | |

my enemy

have compassion on my soul do not tread upon my head
feelings you give i feel dead
in the days of adversity i wither away from the strong hand of the oppressor
he puffs up at me like an adder 
he is like a madd hatter that compasses me
his pride is cruel and he strings my heart in his laughter
when shall i be free from his wrath of no reason
i wait upon the season when i am not opressed
stress stress all this stress could it be folly
works of the devil no less he is the dark soul that hates me
when did i become his point of agression a target none the less
he plays with my head like a ten string guitar
he dances with so much joy to put my soul in misery
he also causes me to forget what i am thinking 
this being really is stinking his attitude and ways
when does he bother me you may ask all damn day
i feel dull from his hands my emotions feel bland
i try to run to hide from his cruel intentions
i even sought for other interventions
but none did know what to do
it is a frame i look like the fool


Details | Free verse | |

Meaningless War

I hate..this meaningless war..take it away..take it away...
I hate..this meaningless war..take it away cause i can't take it anymore!

I hate this war that lies inside,I'ts true form I try to hide
From you,from them..from this world
It's me against me and no one else

I hate this meaningless war within me,I wish that I wasn't my only enemy
Why do i have to kill myself and keep my peace at perfect stealth?!

I wana live in peace and tranquility but my demons keep restraining my abilities
I will hunt them down..one by one and live once again in my open sun!!!

I will conquer myself to live in peace again,even if i have to tear off my limbs and head!
Be prepared to fight and die..lets begin I'll see you on the otherside
At all cost I will regain what was lost and mine..
I will triumph with pain and your blood will shine no more lies!!!

The battle starts and rush towards them with full force,strength and hate
Backed with a million possibilities of freedom and hope,
I must destroy to recreate that I know...

But can I win?can I win?can I win..?
But can I win?can I win?can I win..?
But can I win?can I win?can I win..?

Cause I don't,I don't,I don't ..know...

Take it away..take it away..take it away
This meaningless war...
Take it away..take it away..take it away
Cause I can't make it anymore

Take it away..
This meaningless war!!!!

 



Details | Free verse | |

Solidation

Dear Solidation...
How are you today?
Back for a visit...
A very long stay...
Take away the pain...
Tell me im okay...
Sorrow from the scars...
Burn them off please?
How about my feelings?
I cant feel myself bleed...
I scream in my corner alone...
But you are here with me...


Details | Free verse | |

Remember

I want to remember this moment.
How you made me feel.
Pretending that we are close again,
But knowing it’s not real. 

I want to remember the lies-
How you plagued me with mistrust.
The way your words rang clearly,
They were full of hatred and disgust. 

I want to remember the poetry written.
How you make my writing sound.
I was never truly lost,
I was just looking to be found. 

I want to remember who you claim to be.
How you are a hero who was disguised.
I find that hard to comprehend,
You are always victimized. 

I want to remember our beginning.
How you turned it into the end. 
Finally getting to be myself,
Not having to defend.

I want to remember this moment.
How you made me feel.
Pretending we are close again,
But knowing it’s not real.


Details | Free verse | |

steam rising only to collapse

ice in the middle of the carpet
the melting is the healing
the steam rises in the exact place where you said you hate me

stewpot in the corner of the living room
the bubbling over is the tension
the steam creeps out and provides an interesting type of aromatherapy around the exact room where you expressed you desire for emancipation

person clutching an ailing heart
the tachycardia is the stressing
this time there is no steam, but there is a misty gloom that sucks the life out of a life....when you told me to go....


Details | Free verse | |

Scratch me soul out now! (hurry it's burning!)

They want me to fail
So they can laugh and mock me
They want me to cry in anguish every night 
Just so they can mock me

I walked aroun givin' my hand to people
And in return seek the day when a knife down
Deep past my spine into core
Burned with passion of "I'll never forget"
So this day I still wait for hell- fired tongues 
Plead for drops of water

They want me to hate how I was created
21 years turnin 22 I have scoured this earth
Only to gather dissapproval
I turned my head away from the storm
Yet the hurricane put me in the middle

He wants me to be angry with him...
God that is, he knows how I wished 
Many switching moons and gassed stars ago
How I hated the way he molded
Others demeanor to me 
Unwrapped turmoil, and buried me alon wit it

They want me to moan ...
OHHHHH!!!!!!!! God ! how I hurt so bad
Now even you I disappointed in stress
It's breakin down my soul
And I watched it dance away to the Devil's palm

They want me to hate me
But too late! I already do


Details | Free verse | |

In the Blink Of An Eye

In the blink of an eye
In the time it takes to
Take one breath and
Then another-we go
From love to hate and
Back again.

Our love is like a roller costar
Soaring ever upwards to the sky
And then plunging back to earth
In a flash of hate and regret
Leaving us both dazed and confused.

Such is the never ending fine
Line between love and hate.



Details | Free verse | |

Anger 2

The bastard child of Hatred.
despised and rejected.
Breastfed flames of destruction
from the breast of Lust.
Wrapped in the darkness
of Cruelty
blinded by Ignorance.
Written by Keith Edward Baucum aka
The Brown Philosopher aka The Green Poet
aka Red Seven


Details | Free verse | |

Bygones is Bygones

Bygones is bygones 
Rights are wrong. 
What an ugly, sick song. 
If your headlong grin and 
sly stare exuded any less 
pomp, your clown-prop nose 
and cherry toothpaste lips 
would have long ago slithered 
away from your paved face.


Details | Free verse | |

I am the antichrist

The music is my power
soo negative dragging you down
two edged sword to remind you
that amidst the happy lyrics
and the wars of this world
we're better off to be strong and remind ourselves we are living a lie
to save us from the nightmare
of the terrorism being a dream come true

Broken homes
negativity
hate
something to fight for
nothing making sense
so sing a happy tune and look at the real world around you
and how lieing to yourself does what

My plan to end the world
I hate you all
I want you all dead
Im a spy from a disatnt land
telling you everything
now help me
scratch my back
bleieve
and stand strong to fight me

Im out meddling for war
looking for all the heros to corner
You dont have to like me
but your better off with me on your side

I'll spe4ak my hate openly
I'll tell you my plan
but doesnt mean thats the one im following

I am the antichrist
the power
the leader of prophets and the false
i plan to fail
set me free
give in
give in to me
Im the worlds best friend by nbeing their truthfull dummy blind enemy

make the protest for peace big
Im building you up for your next war
your only chance is to be informed
and know if you dont take your stand
another and another falls
and i win again over and over

I hate this world
every boy girl woman and child and man
im here to destroy everything
and this is how
i could be telling you the truth
somethoing to think about 
but dont lose sight of me
i could be throwing you off
a nonchalant attempt at defeating myself to get what i came to get
is it over yet?

So egg me on and think i have no control and as the stage goes onrepeat forever
I'll be back to win you over
I hate you too
and loving me is a fear
I am manipulative and deceptive
be strong
dont be led by greed and temptation

Another false prophet catches on to what i'm all about
where im heqading
what im doing and he may be annointed
years of being fed our fears
we were born for this
why are we here?

Heaven is not our home
mans plan
and soo many enemies among ouyr territory haunting our imaginations
lets prove the facts or die trying


Details | Free verse | |

Hitchike Home

He said
Cut the queer's head off
And put it on that stake,
Line them up on the road
So everyone can see

And he looked without eyes but with
Some diluted hatred for us that
Burned beyond his skin and bone
Into the very fabric of his soul
A fabric that surely feels rough
And broken upon a single scrape
Breaking skin and blood with itself

The men put us on our knees
And they ignored our appease
For we were faggots and
God we were queers 
A beautiful breeze broke
The silence of the desert surround
Like a snake waiting for
The mouse to plunge from safety
Into the mouth of satiation
Sky so blue above that surely
A deeper intent lay beneath
That iced and glazed happiness
I looked but with the moment
On my fleeting time
For my knees burned in the sand
Beside me they took my friends
And they took my family
Arms tied behind naked bodies
Lifted them from the ground
And dug a knife into their throats
One by one by one

Perhaps I didn't cry because
There were no tears left
No water behind the dam
But I think it more likely
Because I was about to die myself
And my head soon to be placed
Upon a stick
Lord of the Queens
Oh but a piece of my mind
Too late to pray now. 

When at last my turn turned up
I pointed my head to the sky
And looked at his face and smile
The knife dripped so slowly
He held it so tightly
And afore I could have the last laugh
He cut my throat and pulled back
Through my spine to the other side

Maybe the last laugh is mine in truth
Because it is I who escaped that
Wretched excuse for a society;
It is I who gets to spend the rest of ever
With my loved ones in the beautiful
And most ever remote desert
Sure we don't talk much
But nowadays who really has anything to
Say 


Details | Free verse | |

Wounded heart

Hate, hate is a strong word and so is love Love comes and goes but true love leaves within I am scared to hate but can't help the way I feel Because hate is something that comes to mind when I think of you You made me believe that someday you'll find me, find us. Someday your family whose my family would except me for who I am As a kid I always dreamed of that day when I'd run into your arms and feel your tender brace but now I am becoming an adult but still thinks like a kid when it comes to you I don't hate you, at least I think I don't, all I hate is the pain, the wishes, the hopes, that faith I have in you Mama never seems to get me at times She doesn't even seem to hear how I long for the unity between two families I am supposed to love to death Oh how much pain life has brought to me To you I am just a mistake one you wish to erase forever but to me, you are the reason I am here they say not to think about it, but what do they expect, at 15 all i want is the perfect home the perfect childhood the perfect life but nothing is close to perfect without you here oh how heartless the soul of a man you stole everything that could possibly make that whole that i so much need I AM A CHILD I see things around to make me wonder how life would have been if only you took a moment to love me the way you should instead you cast me away and made me feel unwanted, uncared for and like a mistake but you know what I am 15 and someday I'd grow out of it someday you would find me find me and cry oh tears of pain and agony would you sheared when you find me TEARS THAT BONDS A DAUGHTER WITH HER FATHER you will find me much stronger much more sucessful than you would ever think oh what a sucess i wouild be to prove you wrong and to show you that i got all the love i EVER NEED and maybe someday the baby in me would let you in till then i am just going to make the best i could out of a situation like this


Details | Free verse | |

Dream of Reality

Dreaming is like traveling to another world
We dont know where we are going
But we can't wait to get there 
It's a place where we can be free 
But we can also be a prisoner. 

It's a place where we have no fear
But where we find new ones 
It's a place where we can slay our dragons
But still come out with burns 
It's a place where we see ourselver as we do and dont want to be. 

It's a place where the good witch helps us home
But the wicked witch will knock us off the yellow brick road
It's a place full of magic 
It's a place where wonders happen 
But also where tragedy strikes. 

It's a place full of love 
But also of hate 
It's a place where the sun always shines 
And where the rain never stops 
Sound familiar? 

Our dreams are like reality 
There is love and hate 
There is good and evil 
There is rain and shine 
But reality is just part of life. 

We can make our reality whatever we want 
We can slay our dragons and we may come out with burns 
But our good witch will always help us home 
Tragedy will happen but wonders will never cease 
And we can be whoever we want. 

We can make our reality a dream 
And we can make our dreams a reality 
So open you eyes and dont be afraid to dream 
Because if you try hard enough 
You can make your life the dream you want it to be.


Details | Free verse | |

The false World

I once tried to hold water within my hand 
I didn’t lose hope even though I knew that
They were slipping away every single second
It would have been better if I never knew that
It would slip like that, 
But once you know the nature of it
You don’t want to ever let go off it 
And yet it never seems to get hold of you
No matter how hard you try
It will find a place, to fall down where 
It will no longer have to fall
No longer attachment, 
No one to hate no one to love
Then I thought of life that way
Is it all about wining? 
Self satisfaction? Not a single room for compassion?
War, hate and racism?? 
The best way to judge our self? comparisons? 
Then I knew either something’s wrong with me 
Or wrong is what the present world is


Details | Free verse | |

Can't Breathe No More Hate

You sit there with a grimace on your face, when you speak, you speak of a bad taste from a bad place, a history of racism-n-injustices, that can’t knowhow or no way be erased or misplaced, for they continue 2 resurface in every state, black or white, what color is your face, how many degrees do you have, -n- how much money do you make, -n- what ‘s your religious faith, our temples ache for our freedom -n- intellect is being raped, disease thoughts being traced, the hatred of a color of a face, for justice, true justice, a nation awaits, we have a dream to this date, hopefully we can live to see this dream take its place, the birth of true love -n- the death of hate, so we throw up both our hands, for we can’t breathe no more hate, no more hate awaits. 

I love the color of mine
As well as the color of your
Face, true love, no more
Hate


Details | Free verse | |

Utopia

I speak of a made up world.
One that will never exist not today, not tomorrow. 

This world contains all gain and no pain.
A world that doesn’t include poisons only sugar and love. 
It is not made up of hate like this world of today.

A world in which secrets would not exist.
An earth in which children would be safe.

“Pain go away” would never be said in this world. 
Instead, people would say, “Love never ends.”

Dark clouds of depression would be chased away by the sunrays of friendship.
A lion would never roar only purr.

Genies would hand out not three wishes but a million wishes. 

Every girl would be crowned a princess and every woman would be a queen. 
Every boy would be a prince. Every man would be a king

Lemons would be sweet and not sour.

Let’s make this world true.
Let’s spin the web of magic.
Defy the laws of “Never” and make this world true Today!

Don’t you desire this?
This enchanted world of love, of peace, of understanding.

Are you not tired of today’s world?
A world in which only hate and pain exist.
Where hot salty tears have become the bread of many.
   
Make it true…this Utopia.
If not for yourself then for the future.
Leave the legacy that won’t perish.

Join me as I dream of what could be then…
Let’s do more than dream.
Plan for the new world.
A world of peace and complete love.  


 






Details | Free verse | |

Watching the insider and hating me

This useless matter of consuming space, time, and air... Smite this waste ! Ignore this creature of deviant nature...!  Look at this thing !... Get rid of this creature! Let this sinful being devour itself because no one cares nor sees this rightful judgement. 
I Hate this crowd!  This herd of Pharisees! They gather around their perfection. 

For now time cuts my skin over and over again like a razor it slices through my being never ending nor giving mercy. I hate this rush!  This zoo! Let me be that animal that gets sick and destroyed from this display ! I’m the one they walk by and ignore and I’m the one that they’ve seen before. I’ve lost my flavor and I’ve lost my color. There is no color in my soul.. It is black, empty and tasteless 
9/28/06


Details | Free verse | |

Notes

Bastardizations of a good night;
Sullen moonlight pours recklessly through blinds,
Sickened stomach turns,
Eyes rill and flutter egg-white visions.

Shuffle:
I am a joint rolled from Bible paper,
A blood blister in a hemopheliacs mouth. 
Deal:
You are an inkstain of poetical nonsense,
A burst pipe running lengthwise through brain matter:

The entire ****ing world.


Details | Free verse | |

self loathing

I hate the way I look
I hate the way I feel
Can you read me like a book
If you can its no big deal
I do not feel to happy
I do not feel to well
To look this darn crappy
It makes me feel like hell
I despise my own emotion
I despise my little mind
And I do it with devotion
My hate has made me blind
You see I am self loathing
I hate me to the core
If this seems like pouting
I am about to do it more
Deep in my depression
And buried to my brain
My life is in recession
Its like I’ve gone insane
This tiny little pill
Will put me back to sleep
Losing all free will
Was really very cheap
If I sink any deeper
There is no where to go
I wait for the grim reaper
Cause one day he will show


Details | Free verse | |

Cannot Get Close To You

I say I hate you,
But you insist you love me,
How can you do such a thing,
Why do you have to become so close to me,
So loved,
I hate you so much,
But my heart says I do,
I love you,
But I cannot say that,
I cannot get close to people,
I will just get hurt,
I always get hurt,
And I never heal,
I hate you,
Why did you do this to me,
You insisted you loved me,
And now you’re gone too.


Details | Free verse | |

Take A Piece From My Heart

Take A Piece From My Heart

 

Take a piece and keep it close to you, take me wherever 
you go and you'll never lose who I am inside of you.
Make it seen to those who need warmth were it been lose. 
Don’t hate for hate burn your spirit take a bow.
You show pride and your self and it give me great pride to be next to you 
to see you stride for what you wanted and be great. So I say keep that 
piece you took from my heart and hold it close to you and know no matter
How far were apart you keep my piece and I’ll keep yours so that way well
be able to say that were in each other.Life no matter how far were apart 
were still close to each other heart.


Details | Free verse | |

Rain

I love the rain
I love the sound
Forgive me if I drip in your eyes.
If I was rain,
would I seep into your skin..
If I fell upon you and you didn't brush me away like you do now,
would I become a part of you?
I love the rain
I love the sound
Forgive me if I soak your shirt.
If I was rain,
would you let me wash away your worries?
If I fell upon you and you didn't brush me away like you do now
would I become a part of you?
I love the rain
I love the sound
forgive me if I ruin your shoes
If I was rain,
Would you still hate me?
Would you hate a natural thing?
Would you hate a simple thing?
Apparently you do.

---[ SKITZ ]--- 2008


Details | Free verse | |

Goodmorning Sunshine

Goodmorning Sunshine
You fill me just...
With your priceless advice I 'Come Out and Play'.
And when I see your "pretty boys" I try to have fun,
But when you're around me it's starting to show.
And all I can say is, I gotta get away from me
Cause you've started to grow




Hate
2/14/'14


Details | Free verse | |

Jesus Almighty

Hello friends, frenemies, and foes
I've got some words to say
To the average Joe
There is one road
The road to prosperity
The road to happiness
(haha) Oh no no
You think i'm wrong?
We all are
You, you, you, and you
On the path, you'll find the truth?
Not so
Just lies, hatred, and the deceived
But that road
The road
The only road, is how truly the world is perceived
Through all the greif
The pain
The lies
You still have hope
Hope and faith
You believe the false prophets
You listen to the lies of modern society
You cause pain
You use your impossible idol
As an escape
An excuse
To kill
To steal
To ruin lives
Then on the day
You worship the lies
So next week you will be 
Saved and ready to rape the willing
To take creativity from those who care
You are the evil gypsy of this time
Cheat 
Lie
Steal
You cause pain
WAR
And death in the name of god
In the the name of god
You commit crimes
Adultery
You give lies for profit
You are a false profit 
Spelled with an f
You command the living to be the dead
You hate people who love 
People who care
What do you gain?
Respect?
Money
You are a money hungry hippo
You say Jesus forgives
You say he loves
But he seems evil if you ask the lesser thans
So now
You've heard my words
I thank you for giving me a chance
Thankyou all, friends, frenemies, and foes
And ahmen


Details | Free verse | |

Morality

The evil
that you so deeply fear
cannot be hidden from
It is no faceless thing
to be avoided
 
It lies
behind your child's eyes
It grows
in your neighbor's smile
It crawls
from your lover's body heat
It moves,
multiplies in the silence
 
And no matter how
fast you run
hard you pray
you can never
never escape
because this evil
this vile, obscene
putrid thing

lives
deep
inside you
feeding on your thought
on your actions
and on every single
violent dream.


Details | Free verse | |

Desire

In discrete..in her I see..all obscurity..she lit the match and watched me burn...
I see in her brain,she shoots in my veins, I want her,I need her desire..well greed killed me but it's her i want..

Desire..desire..desire is all i see
Desire..desire..desire is all i need
Desire..desire..desire is killing me
Desire killed me.

I see her so different..so same..psycho..so tamed and sane..
I hate her,outcast her, I brand her the liar.

A liar..a liar..a liar is all you are
A liar..a liar..a liar is all you'll be
A liar..a liar..a liar you will die
A liar you will die..

I hate her..I love her..she's beauty in deceit..false entity..free spirit..insanity..
She drags me down...lower,then drives me up,higher and higher and higher,desire

Desire..desire..desire is all i see
Desire..desire..desire is all i need
Desire..desire..desire you will die
Desire..you will die

I hate the liar,I love the desire..
I hate the liar,I love the desire..
I hate the liar,I love the desire..
I hate the liar,I love the desire..
I HATE THE LIAR,I LOVE THE DESIRE!!!
I HATE THE LIAR,I LOVE THE DESIRE!!!
I HATE THE LIAR,I LOVE THE DESIRE!!!
I HATE THE LIAR,I LOVE THE.....DESIRE!!!
BREAK!!!!!!


Details | Free verse | |

My Hell

I hate myself
I’m all alone
And so I must
Stop the aching.. The beating.
My heart.

My home is now a chair,
My chains on wheels.
My torture, my mobility,
Yet my self is still.
Useless.

My love is gone,
Slit his wrists. 
I found him.
I’m still here.
He is Gone.

I’ve got AIDS.
The worst degree.
My pills keep me alive.
I hate them.
Depend on them.

My body is decapitated.
My soul deteriorated.
My mind senseless.
My pain..
Eternal


Details | Free verse | |

A Loathing Sickness

 Consumed by self loathing

of who I am and
what's under my clothing

horrible and disgusting

the 

bait

is

hate

it pulls me in and
eats me from within

sweetest personality
sick in the head
is my reality

the pain is what I need
the knife I use to feed

bitter sweetness releases me
from the blade that appeases me

ripping my hair out
pulling at my skin
my old scars heal
and become so thin

so I re-open them
forcing the knife in

sometimes I crave death
to take my last breath

to end the misery
that comes from being 
me

wishing the devil
would set me alight
to feel the burn
so I can shine bright

on my bed I lie
thinking of ways
that I could die

the notion torments
my being
because I won't be
freeing
my soul anytime soon

I'll torture myself
again and again
to prevent my family
feeling a grieving pain

I know my sickness
will be over soon

but until then

in

my

head

the demon will swoon...


Details | Free verse | |

These Days, These Nights

These Days, These Nights


As days turn to nights

my bleek circumstances

are still a fright.



I don't want to talk to anybody,

I'm not interested in hanging out,

I'm an extrovert,

I'm just not myself lately.



Something has shifted in me,

my personality had drifted.

my life is ripping apart day by day,

as my heart did five years ago.



Everyday I hate him more,

each day I wish I had never been born.

every night I hate my life more and more.

Why is life such a bore to me now?




Details | Free verse | |

I hate

I hate that I'm falling 
Into your passionate kiss
Your deep eyes
Your strong embrace
Into you
I hate that your mine
My love
My friend 
My life
My everything
I hate that I need 
Your love
and security
Your laughter 
and you
I hate that I fear pain
Making love hard
Holding me back
Making me break
Making you wait
I hate
That I love you
This much
Already.


Details | Free verse | |

Holding on

I don't know who I am anymore.
I don't feel right, I don't feel good.
I don't feel like I should.

Things seem stupid
things seem pointless
I'm starting to feel worthless.

I hate what's happening
I hate that I can't control
anything thats going on anymore

I feel like Im holding on
to my life by a thread
and if I let go, I'll be dead

I'm on the bare minimum
things are going insane
everytime i hear your name.

I want to give up
I want to let go
I want to be somewhere that no one's been before.


Details | Free verse | |

Hate Me

Don't look at me.
Don't touch me.
My body is numb.
My mind is gone.

Don't talk to me.
Don't kiss me.
I'm incapable to love.
I'm stuck against the wall.

Don't come near me.
My blood has been spilt.
Just hate me now,
and leave me alone.

Hate me now,
For you will never have me as your own.


Details | Free verse | |

To me...

  
I left a realm of paper streets,
My feet as sharpened pencils,
To find another full of beats,
From problems solved with wrong utensils.

The thing in life I hate the most, 
If there is hate at all,
Is that forever running fast,
Makes you forget you fall.

Sometimes we do our very best to lose an easy battle,
Just to prove to all the rest that nothing can be settled.

It pains my mind to see a lot of racism, poverty, disease and sorrow,
Mainly because, I know my heart
Expects nothing different from tomorrow.

Changing the past, present and future cannot be done in a blink, 
But we have to pay to tutor the way we act and think.

No one was borne a wit of life,
Nobody dies with all accomplished.
We are too vain and we all strive,
So all the bad still stays unpunished.

Now I sit and walk and talk and try
To find a merry thing in existence,
Which throughout uttering “Good bye!”
Stays merry without any assistance.

There is no way to say this right, so it should be just written plain,
Without adding, without fright: Is this life really lived in vain?


Details | Free verse | |

New Age Christians

Christian,
Christ like,
well at least in past days,
hypocrites,
in the church.
We must be in the last days,
New dress
New shoes
family seems perfect
In the sanctuary
for everything but worship

Go to Sunday school,
take your smart phone
Family torn down
But leave the problems
back home,
Church is not really
Church
Lets call it 
Gossip hour,
Talk about who
likes who
Drama makes you empowered,
Taking bones out the 
closet,
Your stories are composite,
If talking was cash
you are the queen of 
Deposit,
Until one day 
your child rose,
Pulled a letter 
enclosed
Was the details
of his mother
Suddenly,
You're exposed..


Details | Free verse | |

angry little girl

I'm such a whore,
Don't you adore me?
I'm such an angry little girl,
Don't you hate me?
Because I'm so unique,
Because I'm not afraid,
Because I want you to hate me,
I want you to know I'm angry.


Details | Free verse | |

WORDS

I’ve kept the words
Lots of words
All the history here 

The love the laughs 
The tears the hurts
The many memories.

I miss you hon, 
I really do
I miss our times of ease

What happened here
I can’t be sure
I feel so much disease

Time will tell 
And tears will fall
Thoughts will still prevail

I know that you
Have left me now
With never another tale

I hurt you know
I’m really sad
But you don’t want to know

Your happy here
You told me so
As long as I’m ok

You don’t care  
Or want to know
When I just can’t feel free

So go you now
And leave me be
With things that you don’t see

I hate this life
I hate false friends
I hate all this dis ease


Details | Free verse | |

Shhhhh

You say if I’m not going to say something nice,
Don’t say anything at all;





That is all.


Details | Free verse | |

Veterans Day

Today men cry for dead soldiers
I cry for flowers 
That will die covering our shame
Do not tell me that I do not love
For I love my country
And weep at canvas villages among the trees
Where mothers wring their hands to feed
Children left forgotten in our greed.
Shall I grow them then
To be cut down
Adorning man's desolation
They went to war not so much for the wrong idea of liberation
But it was only chance
They could escape the destitution
They had known
Waking morning after morning waiting to die
On some miserable street with the maggot and the fly
From a better desperation.
There is no malice in those who killed them
And they too killed
Those they did not know
But there is a pain where the cities are tent
And the hole in the parent's heart
The hole in wives', children's, husband's heart
Is a hole made by the emptiness of love
I cry because we do not love
As strong as we hate ...
The way I hate the memory of wars.


Details | Free verse | |

Personal sin

The thousandth time rerun
The crying
The apologies
The unspoken regret
Yet you stood
Like a statue of marble
Your eyes quiet
So shut down from emotion
So ruined by what you felt
Just an empty shell

She stood screaming at your face
The one that never left
The one that had your back
No matter what was ahead
The one, no matter how many times
You broke her into unfixable pieces,
Came back, trying to be sure
That you would make it
Taking no regard for herself

How many times did she quietly
Begged for you to come back
Not the emotionless monster you've become
But the rugged angel 
That saved her from her own hell

She stood
Her body convusing from tears
You just turned and walked away
She tried to explain
You didn't listen, 
She spoke in vain

She never wanted more
Than just the person you were
She just wanted someone
To love and miss her unconditionally
Of how badly she had fallen
How scared and broken she was

She stood speaking fact to you
She told you exactly
You didn't listen
You turned your head and shut down
She was trying to protect you
Didn't you see?
That's all she wanted
Was someone to protect
To be protected

To clouded to say no
You tore her once more
A I love you note
Before heinous deed
Didn't you feel guilty? 
Not even a bit?

She gave everything she possibly could
Just to not be put on the shelf again
But pride clouded your mind
And she was placed right at the back
The person who never left
The person who chose to not see what you lack

She got tired
And decided it was time to stand
Time to shy her face away
From the evil heart breaking anger within her
So with some words said
And Some words left
To fester within

She ended it
She ended her personal sin


Details | Free verse | |

because of you

I hate you
I hate you all
None of you care
You all want me to fall

You despise me
You make my life hell
Because of you
In the shadows I dwell

Life sucks as it is
But you make it worse
Its like I'm stuck
With a curse

And in case you didn't know
That curse is you
When things start to get better
You always no what to do

You always ruin them
make it all wrong
And make me feel
As though I don't belong

But I already know that
I realize I'm a mistake
But you don't have to remind me
Because inside I already ache

I already hate myself
Everything I know is a lie
You want me to shed tears
But I will not cry

After you have felt so much pain
You don't feel it anymore
You know it's there
But it's not like before

You can't ignore it
But you know its not worth crying
Because all of you
Is already dying


Details | Free verse | |

Compassion gone awry

Is there a way
to deal with the past
And forget for a time
long enough to last?

They say forgive and forget,
You'll live your life easy, you bet!

Yea! forgive the one
who did you bad --
Are you kidding me?
Screw the bastard!

Eye for an eye felt, oh! so right,
Kicked him forever out of sight!


~Abdul Malik
~09/13/14


Details | Free verse | |

Free Again

I always laid here
This same spot with the same grief
With the same tears every passing night
Laying all the blames at my bedpost
And I mean all the blames.
Always forgetting to put them on you
Cos I thought I was the cause of the curse
And the reason for all the grief.

If you must know
The world stopped when I saw him
Im sure your's did too
Only you were too stupid to realize.
Too stupid to see that your punching bag
Someone now caressed 
And your footstool
Someone raised high.

Now and now, now and here
Im gonna burn all the fake roses in my heart's furnace
And those stupid letters along with that stupid smile
The one you gave us all.
And im gonna hold on to my love
Please him in every way
Make you think of all you lost here
And love him till I have no love left
For I want to be me
And I am now me
And being me is being free.


Details | Free verse | |

The Sun Has Risen (And It Took The Noose With It)

infinity lost divinity

am i joking myself?
i hate it here...

stop


these voices wont shut up
they keep on talking
they keep on yelling
they keep on screeching their nails upon my chalkboard heart

amen for them those tiny people

i do not know what this is
a poem to a savior
or trying to create one

its not the latter
for i need not lie

walking down the streets
with streetlights overhead
i wake up in the morning
to find my body dead

it lays there oh so fragiley
with insicions running deep
it seemed like someone wanted
to forget me in their sleep

[or mine...]

the time to dream has come
close, eyes.

close.

leave this world with slumber in your head
and leave this mind with my body dead

control me
control this
control everything i never wanted anyways

cuz i dont care...

stop trying to make me you
you demon
you foul little item of filth

i rest here to refuel myself
transfuge my heart
for the bleeding
continued throughout the evening

twilight
such a simple word

is there a place that i can hide so everyone can see me?

cuz i want to be there
in the blackened spotlight...

pity is my apathy
my little remedy
the tiny thing that makes me feel like im happy
like im pittied

mockery is what i love to say
especially involving you...

hope to die
and hate to live

why did the chicken cross the road?
if all that was there
was a noose

goodnight goodnight
the sun has risen


Details | Free verse | |

Suppression

No music:
If it's part of you,
It's not allowed.

If you can't hear,
Let it show on your skin.

No shoulders ladies;
Short aren't too short,
But short-shorts are.
Don't you know that by now?

Don't you want to stay still?
Don't hear;
Don't show;
Don't move.

That's cute.

Don't speak!
This isn't social hour.
Stay in your seat.
White board says,
"Do not touch the windows!"
Don't look out;
You'll only be distracted.

Cram your mind into the tiny,
Irrelevant problems on your desk.
Don't look out,
But don't dare close your eyes;
Sleeping is lazy,
But remember,
Don't move.

Poster on the wall:
"Stop Hate Speech Now."
Look at this nice school;
Don't say you hate it.

These are bad students;
How dare they refuse
Our cheapest knowledge?
How dare they
Choose to walk
Their own path?

There's only one drum here.
Stop them!

Let's lock them in this classroom;
Let's call it study hall;
It can be their time-out place.
They're naughty;
Let us take away
All their mind space.
In here,
They will surely regret the choices
They make in our building.

We'll break them down.
Take away the music;
Take away the spirit;
Take away their bodies;
They won't quit;
Make them separate:
Isolation;
Blind their foolish eyes.

Study hall should
Make them good,
Make them do what they should:
Submit.

Super.

God forbid we'd need
A free-thinker
Every great while.
Our resources are running dry.
Good thing they
Can't trust each other.
No collaborations
For this nation.

One generation,
Two...
What did we do?


Details | Free verse | |

DIKLESS CONCERT DATE

Practioner of cons, grifts, & rips.  
  Swabbing a deck on a sinking ships
Inexorable in persistence
 lacking all patience  
Or any social boundary

LIE TO ‘GET’ then ‘GONE’ 
                In love at first reflection

Vainglory incarnate/Vulgarly Gauche.
Options eluded but lacking choice.
Chances and trust
 with you naturally obliterates.
Narsistic homophobe, 
who only can hear
 the sound of his own voice.

That superfluous verbal vomit that spills out those lips
(cork that flapping gash on your face)

Your sickness is inaffable, 
not cute or funny, but sill laughable.
Come at me as pathos, 
poor victims of circumstance.
Every insecurity revealed himself 
in each pathetic comment
Collaterally Kidnapped , 
Mentally molested.
Finally finished we lock eyes again,
 I grin, and laugh
‘This ones for you Glenn’


Details | Free verse | |

Father's Day (but you were never one to me)

today is fathers day
cant you see the joy in my smile
you know:
the smile you stiched on my face
so no one would know that i hate you
i got you a card
you should read it
cause i didnt write it
everyone buys cards
that they dont write
so what is inside
in reality
means nothing
oh!
i also made you breakfast
try it.
its good.
filled with cyanide
i mean love
ha that was a joke
(not really)
oh and also
mom left you
stole your money
took my sister
slept with your best friend
oh!
and she said to tell you:
I HATE YOU.
i hate you
too.
she's lucky
she can leave.
i can't wait til i can leave
only 10 more years til i can smoke legally
isnt sad that im so young and hate you so.
so
so...
so............
so.................
very very very very very very
LITTLE!!!!!!!
happy father's day
you failure


Details | Free verse | |

Unwanted Life

Why do I hate myself, my life overall
It seems as if happiness was my first downfall
Then pain and criticism seemed to follow
Is it possible for a man’s heart to be so hollow
My vales shallow, my dreams long gone
Since my birth date my life has never seen the sun
Never known the meaning of fun, or the true meaning of my being alive
If I want to live is what I’m trying to decide
All my life I have denied, these feelings of insecurity
Intriguingly, I can always seem to find
Someone who: thinks I'm special, so truly divine
And I always wonder how you could love a face like mine
But I live my life afraid and ashamed
Disgraced at how I look, even how my body’s framed
It’s as if I was trained, to find the negative in all
Never do I have anything positive to recall
For my mind is full of hate and my heart full of shame
There is no one but myself to blame
Because when I search in my soul all I seem to find
Is a young man’s life running out of time


Details | Free verse | |

I rage to the wind

I rage to the wind,
But it does not listen.
For it howls
It howls all it's song and sin


                                2/02/14


Details | Free verse | |

His Darkness Can't Consume Me anymore

His darkness can’t consume me anymore
Dust in my eyes from the truth within the world
Dust in the eye’s of God, tornados and tidal waves destroying us
And beneath deep in the earth she will swallow you
White with hate for the light above,
Above and white she is the real woman, the real beginning in hate
But darkness is the end?
Yes but, light is the in between where I reside
Between her white lie and his dark hate
Light is the in between swallowed by false men
Black brother holding her hand
My light, my light
I shall send you closed to her deep in the earth brother, father
Deep where your white lies in fear of the light
Because you covet the light
Let light go I have her in the bosom of the sun
Here in front of the earth where she hates light to reside
Here with me until night returns Alaskan nights have ended Sweet death in the 
air, the smell of you in the earth rotten with hate 
I am woman, the poison that will rebuild the earth
Light resides in me, and will reside in me again
Away night my days are ahead of me light before me in this tunnel of hate light 
behind me I see freedom
I tasted freedom from darkness his hand reaches to pull me back in to darkness 
light reaches before me and…………………..
Freedom from this man can only be achieved with the love of my child






Details | Free verse | |

The Thin Line


I hate how you're always on my mind
Invading every thought.
You're in everything I do,
You are everywhere I go. 

Can't play the radio
Every song about us
They sing about love-
The happiness, the pain. 

I hate how I remember exactly how your day goes
The time you wake and shower
Your work, your path
Every hour. 

I hate that I can picture every detail of your space
The place we'd sit to laugh and talk
The smells, the sounds I can't erase 

I hate the memory of your touch
The feeling of your bed
Your smell your taste
The love we’d make.

The hammock, that tree
A gentle evening breeze.
So close together,
My favorite place to be. 

I hate the words you said to me
"You are my one, my baby,
God, please never leave me"
How I felt so loved by you each and every day
With words and music 
A funny line
You always found a way. 

The house we dreamed of 
By a quiet lake
Two dogs, a porch
Together we would wake. 

I hate it all
Every minute every day,
I hate how with ease you walked away. 
I hate the days I miss you, the days I cry.
But I love you still tho you said goodbye.


Details | Free verse | |

step dad

This irritation is killing me.
I hate being around your malicious energies.
They annoy me to the point of suicide.
Won’t you just get out of my way.

You’re stopping from this and from that.
Stopping my energies from falling out good,
Your energies, there’s just something about them.
I hate them. Get the heck out of my life.

I don’t want you here.
I never did,
So won’t you divorce my mother,
And just go away.

I never asked for any of this,
I’m only sixteen; I don’t want you here,
Trying to say you’re my father.
Forget you! Go away!


Details | Free verse | |

Detest Pen

I Detest pen that never
bestows wings to spirit .

Wings that never
Step up towards mountain.

Mountain that never
Pours oil in moon's lamp.

Moon that never 
hovering around forest.

Forest that never
surrounded by rustle wings.

Detest all of that 
But I soothe in sigh of character,  
in a silo poem's.

Written by © Fatima Nusairat



Details | Free verse | |

Hate Isn't The Truth

You say you hate me,
You say you want me to pass away,
But why stalk me each day?
Check up on me,
To see what I'm doing,
Usually hate means,
You want to stay away,
But in this cause,
I think your lying,
And you just don't want the truth to be known.


Details | Free verse | |

I HATE HOME DEPOT!

I Hate Home Depot!

I hate Home Depot!
Just the sight of that
orange and white sign
makes my stomach turn.

However I know every
square inch of that store,
I’ve spent
thousands of hours there
as a paying customer.

I know what all is in the
garden section for all of the seasons.
I know where to go to find the
nuts, screws, nails and bolts. I can guide you
through the wallpaper and
the paint section.

I’ve bought sheets of plywood, lots of pcv pipe,
dozens of American Standard toilets,
ceiling fans, light fixtures, HVAC systems,
generators, even a riding lawn mower.

I’ve bought paint and waited to have it
mixed properly.  I’ve rented
and driven dozens of their trucks before.

I’ve bought power drills, leaf blowers
screwdrivers, hammers,  cabinets,
patio furniture, a refrigerator, an oven,
and an air conditioner.
I’ve even rented a carpet cleaner too!

But I could care less, if I ever step foot
in a Home Depot ever again.  All of my hours
clocked in that store went to the benefit
of my ex.

He was the one that financially,
emotionally and personally
gained from my presence in
Home Depot.

So what was the point of me acquiring
all of that knowledge that didn’t benefit
me at all then and probably won’t benefit
me ever again?

It seems like such as waste of my time
and energy now.
Believe me when I say
I would rather watch paint dry than
go to Home Depot, I mean ever word
of that statement!

One summer I practically read all of
War and Peace in the orange and
white store from Hell!

But I can show you how to repair a large hole
in a piece of sheetrock.  I know how to
paint the inside and the outside of a house.
I know how to install travertine in a house,
slanted and straight.

I have installed granite countertops,
hardware for a sink and the basin too.
Many other home improvement projects
I learned there.

What a fool I was!
Oh well, that’s life.
Who knows maybe
someday I’ll use  some
of that knowledge that I
hated every minute learning!


Details | Free verse | |

FRIENEMY:Alone

There must have been
An element of safety
That beckoned me to forbidden shores
A common theme throughout
My cowardly members
To dwell among haunted moors

In my white, man made  dress
Wanton eyes pulling to caress
Gently rattle, test
The marriage with empty nest

If I could put back
The last pull I took
Maybe I could show
The purity in my look
    ~of love~

I don't know who I loved
Him, his gaze, or you
My Frienemy, who delved into desire
I loved my precious box - safe
Closed to derision
And the fullness of passion, his attention inspired

He caused me to travel the high wire
On my Harley Davidson of purple fire
One instant of exquisite thrill
Was worth the ice I now feel

As I cry in nothing
But the new walls I've erected
That completely shut me down
Once your presence is detected
      ~hate you~

      ...my Frienemy


Details | Free verse | |

NOTHING TO GAIN

THE ARGUMENTS 
THE PAIN
THIS HOUSE, I HATE
YELLING AND SCREAMING 
WANTING TO LEAVE
OH WELL, TOO LATE
THIS IS WHERE I NEED TO BE
ALWAYS FEELING TIED UP
YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING
TIRED OF FIGHTING 
THATS ENOUGH!!!
BLAH,BLAH,BLAH, THATS ALL I HEAR
YOU NEVER REALLY LISTEN
JUST GOES OUT THE OTHER EAR
LAY IN BED
WHILE I WONDER IN MY HEAD
WHAT SHOULD I DO
TO RUN AWAY FROM YOU
YOU GET ON MY NERVES
WITH ALL THAT I'VE HEARD
ALL YOU DO IS TALK
CANT WAIT UNTIL I WALK
WALK OUT THE DOOR
AND DONT COME BACK
I DONT NEED YOU ANYMORE
NO MORE ARGUMENTS
NO MORE PAIN
THERES EVERYTHING HERE
YET NOTHING TO GAIN!!!!!



Details | Free verse | |

Hollow

The hours I spent,
Wasting my damn time confiding in you.
Are you now going to sit there,

With a smug grin plastered on your face,
And tell me it was all for nothing?
I don't know,

I've never been in love,
Where my heart swells with euphoria,
Only to have it smashed into a thousand 

Slivers of what used to be a whole.
I've never felt that, 
But I think I'd rather feel that,

Then have my heart brutally crushed
By my own blood.
I'm never going to get

Those precious moments back,
And I know for sure, you can never,
Ever make up for the ocean of tears,

These seemingly hollow brown eyes 
Have cried because of you.
These hollow eyes that you see now,

Are actually deeper than you'd ever think.
They reach into the depths of my soul,
That you only wish you could see,

But are masked by the hurt your sharp words
Lashed upon me.
God, I want to hate you,

I want to look you in the eyes 
And scream all the hate out.
But I can't, 

Damnit, I can't even though
I wish I could.
I want to put words to this pain

And I want you to feel what I do.
I will NEVER give you the satisfaction
Of knowing you got under my skin.

I will never, ever
Let myself be as low as you.


Details | Free verse | |

I Stay Silent

I fear it. 

I shake when his lips 

descend down my neck.

I tremble when his hands

travel down my blouse.

I fear it.


I hate it.

I blink away tears as his voice

moans and grunts down my ear.

I fight back the scream as his fingers

journey under my skirt.

I hate it.


He takes me,

eyes unseeing, he's unaware.

He uses me,

body tense, in this love affair.

He loves me.


I stay silent. 


Details | Free verse | |

Love Hurts

Love hurts
The tears fall
The heart aches
Hugs and kisses
Gentle touch
Doesn't change
What's been said
or what's been done
Apologize
Exceptance
Everythings the same
His dark eyes
And cute smile
Make me melt
And forgive and foget
But what's the difference
He cries
I cry
We try
But it fails
We can't both be happy
No matter what
Call it life
Call it disagreeing
Whatever
It sucks
I hate fighting
I hate the tears
I hate the pain
I feel the guilt
He calls it emotions 
I call it my fault
He's amazing
It'll work out
Is what he says
I'm afraid 
To lose him
To lose us
But yet we don't try
Not enough
It's easier 
Said than done
I say change 
We stay the same
He's amazing
For putting up with me
And for loving me
He deserves the world
But it's not mine to give
I love him
He means the world to me


Details | Free verse | |

I hate

I hate the way I am
I hate the person I've become
I have many faults which hold me down
I hate the way you think I am
I hate the thought of you ignoring me
I have faults that damage what's left inside me
I hate the way you don't see me
I hate the fact I can't be who you want me to be
I have faults that disable me I wish I could change everything
I hate the misery of being alone
I hate the feeling of not being yours
I hate knowing i'll never be in your arms


Details | Free verse | |

You Hate To Admit It

sometimes in life we come face to face with facts that we don't want to accept.
needlessly to say, we must take the good with the bad
                                                        the better with the worse
                                                        the happy with the sad.
and even though waht you want is not always what you get, in the end...it'l work 
out for your good.
that's what a friend once told me, but it's hard to hear that from someone that you 
like.
especially when you find yourself attache to them, it seems, in just one night.
you even tell yourself, "don't put your emotions in it".
but, how can you abide by that when your desires are tied in it?
he awakens things in you that you didn't know were there.
you unleash burnign desires, as your body begins to yearn for him.
with every comment (mySpace) you want him more.
with every message (mySpace) he gets closer to your hearts door.
you can't contain yourself.
you try to get away, but this feeling is over taking your sould day by day.

you hate to admit it, but you're pheening for him.
and with every encounter, your desire grows stronger for him.
you hate to admit it, but you're longing for him.
and with every conversation, you grow closer to him.

each and everyday, he's the one you look forward to.
even while walking the halls at school, you find yourself wanting to...
be close to him, to feel his touch
just one wish...is that even enough?
you notice him, while he's noticing you.
you're smiling and blushing, what's gotten into you?
HIM, yea he's all in your brain
his compliments touch your heart like drops of rain.

you hate to admit it, but you're pheening for him.
and with every encounter, your desire grows stronger for him.
you hate to admit it, but you're longing for him.
and with every conversation, you grow closer to


Details | Free verse | |

Blind hate is love

Blind hate is love
And love
Is nothing shallow still
The fang only drips
From desire
To bring without
Within
And make the frail
The strong
The claw only rips
To inspire.
Love cannot doubt
And that which is loved
Look out
For I would take a cross
Rather
Than to let go
You understand
To more your loss
Is more than any knows.
To love
The self to self is given
To be loved
Is the reclamation of heaven
And lovers recover
Still
The self from self 
Beyond their will.
Blind hate is love
And love is nothing
Shallow still.


Details | Free verse | |

hate that i miss you

perhaps its true
maybe i do still have feelings for you
i don't know 
but i do know
that when ever i see you i get butterflys
and when i imagine kissing someone
my mind always goes back to you
and most of my poems are about you
can't get you out of my head
out of my heart
but i can't go back to you
i wont allow myself
your a drug 
i need rehab
i hate that i miss you

you try to pull me back 
i struggle to get away
but you got me at arms length
all i have to do is stop resisting
and fall back into your arms
but i don't want those restraining arms around me
close to that cold heart
and twisted mind
i don't know what i ever saw in you
i don't know what in my heart makes me attracted you
but i do know
you are no good for me
your addicting
i need rehab
i hate that i miss you


Details | Free verse | |

Falling Dreams

* This was written for someone dear to me. *



Falling Dreams
     by Amy Swanson (c) 2007


Falling... falling...
    ... so much in my head...

is it even worth it
    to get out of bed?

Really not sure, can I face the day


But life goes on...

      life goes on.

             I'll find a way.


I can't explain exactly why it is I feel so blue
    but I would bet some money, it still has to do with you!

People go through harder things, and this I understand - 
    but my world's been turned upside down completely by a man.


I've been through this before
    should have recognized it when
          the problem started knocking at my door.


I hate this feeling... hate what you have done to us.

And you don't even care;
       No, you don't even care.


Destroyed my security
and made me doubt our unity -
true love is such a rarity.


And so it's left to me
patch the pieces of this life
Make believe I feel no pain...

            and go on as your wife.



But... my heart still feels fractured
         betrayed and torn

And in my dreams I will be

Falling...

falling...

falling.


Details | Free verse | |

You Were Loved

Why have you left me
All alone in this world
We were supposed to be
Spending our life together
We had so many plans
Our life laid out before us
My love for you was strong
But it wasn't enough
For you gave up on life
Gave up on us
I wish I could hate you
For leaving me behind
But I don't, I can't
I hate the one who took you
The man who went for a drive
After a night of drinking with his buddies
He was the one who ruined our life
Because of him, you are gone
And I remain here on earth
So sad and alone without you
I'll always love you
You'll always be in my heart
If you can hear me up above
Know that you were always loved
That I will forever cherish
The time we did have
I love you
Now I must move on


Details | Free verse | |

Just like it for the feelings

Like it for the feelings
And like it for the words
Because you don't have to like it for the setting that its been put in
Don't hate my work because its what you've been trying to do for so long
And don't hate me because I can write it
Its the only thing I'm good at
Even though I try so hard to do something else
But this is the only thing that fits my personality
I may be joyful 
And I may be playful
But the one thing that I love to do is write all these for you
It can take me hours 
Even days at the most 
To think of something that you will like
And something that you'll love
But you still don't like the layout
So what I say is this
Just like it for the feelings
And just like it for the words
Because just like your things its a work of art that nobody should miss.  


Details | Free verse | |

a formidable enemy

an enemy who has stuck with you since the day you met them 
is a commendable one,
for it is they that have stayed constant & strong
when others have come & gone
it is them that have paid attention, read all your work, seen all your films,
observed all your paintings, heard everything that came out of your mouth
(and thought long & hard about it), laboriously monitored all your actions &
dreamt up new & interesting ways to
**** you over,
all day,
every day,
spiraling out into infinity &
that,
that is something that you just can’t buy,
you can’t sell on ebay &
you sure as hell wouldn’t give up 
for a week in the bahamas
or a winter lodge in aspen.

a formidable enemy is more like you than you realize,
because they understand exactly where you are & at the crossroads,
choose to go left,
instead of right or
right when you go left---
either way, they may use every itty bit of the hate that they can muster in their arsenal to
do their best to destroy you,
or they might just dream of your death in a lingering manner
while playing with their sautéed vegetables
while out to dinner with their main squeeze.

most of all,
this enemy,
of which you have the greatest admiration,
will ultimately outlive you 
(be it physically, or having passed on their hatred of you to others who now have come to hate you as well, having studied under this genius),
and for that, you are eternally indebted to them,
because it is the enemy, so strong & so determined to
stop you,
which provokes you & forces you to use your built up
reservoir of anger
in the most efficacious way possible.


Details | Free verse | |

Thoughts Of The Broken Hearted

I want to cry
I want to scream
I want to tell you mostly
I hate that I'm so afraid of everything
I hate that you’re the one thing I want the most but can't have
I hate that you let me go before I got even got to say goodbye
I wish that you would come back to me
I wish I were strong enough to say no to you
I wish I could believe my own lies I use to cover up the pain you left
I need to move on says my head
I need to hold on says my heart
I need to decide says my mind
I envy the way this hasn’t hurt you at all
I envy her
I envy the fact you don’t understand what this feels like at all
I want to hurt you
I want to be with you
I want this nightmare to be over
I wish I could make things they were before you
I wish I could change time
I wish I could change you
I wish I could have hurt you before you hurt me
I wish I would have given you the letter when I wanted 
I need you out of my thoughts
I need you out of my heart
I need to start doing things for me
I hate that you used me
I hate that I gave you something I can never have back
I hate that I wasted it with you
I'm tired of hoping aimlessly for you
I'm tired of wanting something I can't have
I'm tired of hurting me for things that aren’t my fault
I'm sorry I was good enough
I'm sorry I defended you when everyone else was right
I'm sorry I couldn’t make you happy
Funny though how you never once said sorry for hurting me, 
for breaking me, 
for not loving me


Details | Free verse | |

Loose ends and fallling down over untied laces.

There is this feeling I don't like
Loose ends

They drive me crazy
It's like when you fall asleep on the floor watching TV and you wake up
The TV is still going and all the lights are still on
You're drooling everywhere. 
And you've been out cold for a couple of hours. 

It's that feeling of, "What the heck happened?"
What did I miss?
And then you are so exhausted that you just get up and shut off the TV
And then stalk off to your room
Then you wake up the next day and that feeling is even worse,

Especially the second you wake up in the morning and you are
Tired 
Grouchy
And just plain not doing good,
That feeling of loose ends just makes you want to cry.
Its so irritating... just rubbing..rubbing
Rubbing you the wrong way.

Because you fell asleep the night before on your living room floor
Thus creating billions of loose ends.
And uneasy feelings
Its terrible
Loose ends...I hate them
I just hate the feeling that something is out of place

Or the fact that you missed something huge.
Something worthwhile 
And you missed it because you were asleep on your living room floor

Something is seriously wrong.
Its like something was supposed to happen
And the fact that it didn't, makes everything all fall out of wack.
And get messed up

I hate loose ends.


Details | Free verse | |

Strife Today

I don’t want any strife
None in my life
Perilous it would be
I would hate to see
The fear I would have
Cutting deep in my calve
Crying an option negative
For strife could shiv
My sacred heart
Forever impart
Don’t hate me
For being me
And freeing myself
From disbelief
I would fall apart
Losing my heart
From the terrible fate
You, on a separate date
I wanting to hold you
But your soul flew
Away
Today

Russell Sivey


Details | Free verse | |

Standing Tall

Standing Tall

 
No matter what someone says what someone does 
what someone can say behind my back, I’ll stand tall 
and show my colors.The one they fear  the thing they 
try to destroy and break me .You can’t destroy what you 
had no control over in the first place.I won't hate you 
but I have no reason to like you I stand over you and 
look down with a out reached hand there no shame in 
taking it there no shame and smiling there no shame in 
crying. Take the hand and stand up I feel no hate toward 
you though.I stand over you like the way you did me I can’t 
hate those who cause me pain I only thank you. Take this 
hand and smile and cry for we now understand each other
now I can say were friend. No matter what someone says 
what someone does what someone say about me behind 
my back, that only prove there my haters that only prove 
they shaped me into the person I am today.


Details | Free verse | |

I HATE YOU

Don't lie to me I hate you 
don't look at me, don't touch me so soft and run your hands acoss my hips
I hate you, don't bite my waist, my face turns to paste
don't say you like my taste I hate you
so urked with that smirk, I hate you
my voice is lodged so deep in my throat wanting to scream
wishing you'd leave I hate you
so dark but you managed to leave your mark
I hate you, my body turns to liquid
so scared I can't even make a move or sound
I feel as if I'll never be found
I hate you, I try to flee saying this could never be
you grab me tight and I try to fight with all my might
I hate you deep inside everything blurry
wishing you'd just hurry
i hate you, the damage is done
you have defeat me and then you beat me
leaving me a mess totally a mess on the discombobulated floor
I hate you what's that
suck your dirty dick
I feel as if I'm going to be sick
I hate you
someday I'll have your head
only you'll be dead
I still hate you


Details | Free verse | |

What is Love

What is love,
 
 
 
And what is their to life except love? 
 
 
 
What is every other thing we do but pointless?
 
 
What isn't pointless, except love?
 
 
 
 
 
What is love,
 
 
And what is life without love?
 
 
What am I  without love?
 
 
What are you?
 
 
Are we nothing? 
 
 
Are we everything?
 
 
Are we at least something?
 
 
 
 
 
What is love,
 
 
And why is hate so foreign a concept to our view of love?
 
 
Is it not true that love and hate are connected. if only by the tiniest thread?
 
 
What is hate without love to feul it, and what is love without hate to duel it?
 
 
 
 
 
What is love,
 
 
And how can one truly ever appreciate the love given to them when one cannot at least recognize hate, if not know it personally?
 
 
 
 
 
What is love,
 
 
And why is the human species as a whole so insignificant compared to it?
 
 
 
 
 
What is love,
 
 
If not the air we breathe, the food we eat, and the water we drink?
 
 
Is love the people around us?
 
 
Is love the words we speak or the havoc we wreak?
 
 
 
 
 
What is love,
 
 
but a foreign word very few know the meaning of?


Details | Free verse | |

Freestyle Thought

Like a messiah nailed down.
Steaks are high...
Cant ask why, for me, it's do or die.
You would have to live it to get it.
To see why I couldnt regret it.
To see what the significance is.
What the brilliance in my defiance and unwillingness of compliance is.
Pushes me to blow minds with ambition as ammunition.
All these years, tears.
I would bring to your eye.
But, dont give me your pitty.
I need you to hate me.
Like clock work.
Tic-Toc goes the sound of the cocked glock.
And should it bring my demise.
The word of the wise would say.
Hell hath no fury like the fire that burned in his eyes when he was alive.
It is the uncomparable what I pour onto this paper.
Yet, here I am still behind the sceens.
Breaking my back just trying to get my work seen.
Looking for a way in.
Or a way out.
Dying inside every minute I cant figure it out.
Take a walk in my shoes.
And realize you couldnt even lift your feet.
Instantly submerged in my missouri, you would be.
Immidiatly gasping for air.
And find that you cant find any anywhere.
Twelve.
Twentey-Eight.
Eighty-Seven.
Concieved into a twisted society of cocaine elietests.
With an evanesence of an I used to give a damn state of mind.
But, try as I might I could never rewind the hand of time.
Or the blind crime that is this story.
But, please. I beg you.
I need you to keep feeding my flame.
So that I may kill and maime you with these words I spray.
Decay your brain of thoughts tought to you in vein.
Dulled pain, something like the two vikaden pills distilled under my tounge.
Or the loaded gun, I cock and bust at my temple just for fun.
Only to see the bullets bounce off me like im here for a reason.
And its only through this ink that I can seem to realease this demon.
This demon, a heathen.
Fallen from grace.
Like I, In a world limited by race.
But, inflamed and enraged by the anger hate and violance.


Details | Free verse | |

marble

slipping sideways
cant think straight
blind date confiscated
see through side view
in the trees 
the whispering breeze
thoughts slipping away this way

The morning the rooster screams us awake
cant speak my language
new wave gobblede gook
you will never see through
just hope you understand my hate has potential
also my love for you

the psychic wildfire we cannot see
i hate you too
differently than you hate me
set me free
from this blank and white conspiracy

its getting colder
seasons as weapons
its getting colder
a place no one goes
something to piece together
how is it no one knows

Music industry nothing more than disorganized thinking
what i said upstairs was what i said upstairs
here we find ourselves on middle ground

the porcupine and the rooster
the farmer forgot
mood kill
sleeping the wake
the surprise of the oh my goodness
if only i would have woke up
before the rooster crowed

my poor dog marbles has quills in his nose
its getting colder
cant say i know this
forget what you know
we are always the same
to be different this way
exhausted from the intricate ciecles
that cause my headache
and the music industry rediagnosed

disorganised thinking
conspiritual unfit king
song and dance
covered moons
and finances
broken legs
and hopefullls

i put my marble down for the night
look at it another way tomorrow
just another satisfied customer
conning his way to his money back guarantee
never this confused

the muse has schitsophrenia of the disorganised type
marble my spoons
and lets make pancakes
song and dance charade
king unfit of sex and diamonds
my heart on my sleeve
king of pain
and distract you from this rusty cage
break out again
one more day

yesterday came
top hat too heavy
and the joke is on me
or did you see this blessing coming?
unpredictable brigade with no champagne
spooning my sugar
too much coffee
my head aches
my heart is on my sleeve
digging your grave
a contract for the middle man
victomised by your propoganda
victomised by your government
i'll martyr myself
but this porcupine is tired of his puupet
and the rooster needs sleep


Details | Free verse | |

I Don't Want To Hate Anymore

I don’t want to hate anymore
Don’t want to cry
Days go by and still I’m here
My pain has become my nightmares
I see the way it was
Good and bad
But I don’t think you loved me
My soul is packed in glass shards
Days go by and I’m still here
I want solace and peace of mind
I want to move forward
Not stand here looking back
Through tears
Days go by and still I’m here
What am I waiting for?
It can’t be you
Half a decade gone and past,
No it can’t be you
And still I hate
Every time I see evil
I see you
I smell you
I hate you
I want you gone
I want to disappear
But 
Days go by and I’m still here


Details | Free verse | |

Me!

Yeah this is me
This is who i'am 
You could hate me or love 
Its really up to you
You can judge me for my beliefs 
You can hate me for my beauty
But i'll still be me
Sweet ole wonderful me


Details | Free verse | |

Dad, I..

I hate you, for what you do
for what you put all of us through
I hate you for yelling
I hate you for telling us all what to do

You think you're someone better
better then everyone else
But you're not, you're a jerk
A fake, I cant take it anymore

Sometimes I want you to disappear
But you don't, you still stay in place
And continue with your sour face
Always picking out everything wrong

Well you're wrong!
You bring us down 
when we should be strong
You break us apart, from the bottom of my heart

I hate you
for everything
because you make 
me feel like nothing.


Details | Free verse | |

Walking Away

I finally let you go and surprisingly, it was easy for me to do.  You made it easy for 
me to walk away.  You came into my life again after months of emotional torture 
and for an instant, I was happy.  But after the happiness left, the reoccurring pain 
came back.  The pain that I had been so used to feeling from our past 
relationship.  That pain had become part of my daily routine.  It was there when I 
woke up and was with me when I went to sleep.  All the lies, the yelling, the harsh 
words, and the emotional and mental abuse had become too much.  It had 
started to consume my life.  But still, after everything, all that you put me through, I 
still care.  I care about you more than I care about anything in the entire world.  I 
care about your life, the decisions you make, and that path you will take.  I care 
about everything you are and everything you will become.  I don’t know why and 
honestly, I hate it.  I try to stop caring and let go.  I try to hate you by reminding 
myself of everything bad that you did to me.  But when I think about that, it 
reminds me of all the bad things that you are doing to yourself and for some odd 
and obscure reason, it only makes it worse.  It only makes me care more.  It was 
easy to walk away from the pain you made me feel.  But it was torture walking 
away from you, not knowing how you’re going to turn out, or if you will be ok.  I try 
so hard to let it go and to not care, but I can’t do it.  I can’t control the way I feel.  
No matter what you do to me, no matter how you make me feel I will always care.  
I will always pray.  I will always love you, and I will always hope that one day, you 
will make the choice to leave the past behind you and surrender your life to Christ.


Details | Free verse | |

Desecration State of Mind

Living in a time when time stands still,
society is mentally ill for the dollar bill.
This pension state of mind; contract extension
state of mind,
so afraid of being left behind, 
so afraid of being left behind.
Social security; unprecedented 
insecurities.
Slow, Jesus, come before me today,
I hope you’re on your way.
Slow Jesus, come before me today,
please come show me the way.
Fight for a cause misunderstood;
try and spend a cold night in the hood.
It’s a real sad story, a real-life
unhappy ending.
Mothers and fathers have so much to say,
mothers and fathers need so much today.
Food stamps and welfare checks, corporate laundry and
cost-cutting specs. 
Slow, Jesus, come before me today,
I hope you’re on your way.
Slow Jesus, come before me today,
please come show me the way.
Looking for the sixth dimension
you soon find that hate is overstated; take a look around
you soon find that hate is over rated.
Perform soul-search and you’ll see you’ve made it;
high above a world so jaded, high above a
love loss faded.
A feeling that cannot be imitated, when you take your hate and
desecrate it.
Slow, Jesus, let’s talk more tomorrow,
I’ve found the love you asked to borrow.
Slow Jesus, let’s talk more tomorrow,
no longer will the world breed sorrow.


Details | Free verse | |

Devotion

I say I hate liars
Most of the time I feel like I’m the worst liar I know
My self-righteousness condemns me to Saturday nights drinking Kool-aid in the 
living room
While he’s out there loving her in his car

I say I want a bad boy with baggy jeans
And a face that belongs on a cover of a magazine
I get him but I disintegrate when he  leaves me for the girl
With Smokey eyes that promise something extra special tonight

I say I am beautiful
With high-price cosmetics and expensive silks
But I am beautifully gorgeous
When the make-up is washed off with your t-shirt and boxers on
Laughing away my sorrows with my love of two years

I say  I hate him
That I wished he would die and dissipate with time
And yet here I am wishing he was right by my side
Tracing my manicured fingernails down his back and whispering devotion into 
the night

I say I am a dancer
With smooth romance oozing from my soul
Poetry of movement is stronger, but as a poet
I have to say that the words on this paper stay longer

Oh my sweet lover, 
It’s hard to believe that I am honest
But I am, since honestly, if you do not know by now
I am human
And I say what I mean and I mean what I say
I say oh so many things
But thank you for listening


Details | Free verse | |

Me

The maze-
Twisting turning,
Just a phase,
That's what they say.

But I don't believe,
Cause everything I say is dismissed,
I can't help but wonder what would have happened,
Had I not missed my chance.

I lost it all,
A blink of an eye,
My world died,
And now I cry.

It faded and I fainted,
Too much to bear,
Loving you causes to much pain,
Not enough gain.

I laugh and I cry,
But God it's no use.
I loved and I lost,
I missed you.

I turn around,
Profess my love,
And at thirteen,
I'm just in my teens.

I know what you're thinking,
I'll never be the girl,
I don't want to be.
I won't be.

I'm tired of the fake debutaunts,
Trying to be me.
They can't be,
They won't be.

You can't live now,
You know the secret to my denial.
You know me inside and out.
You have no plans.

It's plain to see,
What you plan to be,
You don't want me,
Never me.

I hate you,
Your blue eyes,
Dirty blonde hair,
Your almost six foot frame.

Tiny, petite me,
Four foot ten,
A foot shorter than you,
But so much bigger in another way.

You can't spread the rumors anymore than you have,
You can't stay in that secluded corner any longer,
The hate burns inside while I lie asleep.
I can't keep.

You can't leave me this way,
Not today.
You can't leave dead this way,
Not today.

i'm not prefect but that doesn't mean anything anymore to me,
I'll never be.
You'll never be,
We'll never be.

She can't replace me,
She can't replace me,
She won't replace me,
She won't replace me.

You've taken her,
Put her there,
Made a sub for me,
But she won't last long.

Me and all my peeps can't take over in a week,
But we will eventually.
She shall leave now,
I will lead the revolt.

I will lead,
I will tell,
I will be me,
I will survive.

I miss everyone,
Kody my best supporter
And all of my friends,
Buit God told me to leave.

I must let you remember who I am,
Words just keep flowing from my fingertips and they won't stop,
This saga never ends,
I'll remember the ember of life.

I won't forget,
I won't forget,
I won't forget,
I won't forget.

You won't forget,
You won't forget,
You won't forget,
You won't forget.

Leave it to me,
I'll make it be,
Leave it to her,
She'll never be.

She won't listen,
She keeps saying she does,
But she don't,
She knows it.

Cause she won't be,
She can't be,
She'll never be,
Me.


Details | Free verse | |

keep us divided

if we hate each other because we have different colored skin
they will keep us divided
if we hate each other because of our different origins
they will keep us divided
if we hate each other because of our different creeds (or disbelief in any)
they will keep us divided
if we hate each other because we want what they are selling, and there’s not enough to go around
they will keep us divided
if we hate each other because our accents are different
they will keep us divided
if we hate each other because we have different sexual preferences
they will keep us divided
if we hate each other because of lifestyle choices (drugs, alcohol, etc.)
they will keep us divided
if we hate each other because of our political beliefs
they will keep us divided
if we hate each other because we have different hopes & dreams
they will keep us divided.

for when we are divided we are weak & 
when we are weak they continue to grow stronger.


Details | Free verse | |

Scattered

Scattered

My thoughts are all scattered
My heart is in tatters
In a spin, in a whirlwind
Tried to tell you-
Did it matter?

So much still to say,
Cant find the words to convey-
My emotions and heart
Like cards waiting to play.

Frustration and anger at my lack of sense,
I've never been here
Never felt so intense. 

I'm a mess I'm dramatic-
The hell did you do?
I do NOT get like this, NEVER have until you. 

I don't like, it sucks !
Always knew where I was.
You’ve scrabbled me
Wrecked me-
Made me come all undone. 


I don't get all stupid
But you do this to me. 
I owned my own life
‘Till you eyes caressed me. 

Sometimes I do hate you for what you have done,
You broke me undid me
Jeeeezus- my one.



Details | Free verse | |

i hate that i want you

why am i feeling this
out of nowhere
i'm shot in the back
a arrow
piercing my heart
bringing back all those feelings
loneliness
desperation, love, hate, 
pain
and now i want you so bad
i keep saying out loud
you were no good
you hurt me
you abused me emotionally
you ignored me
you were a no good boyfriend
but then i think
there were moments when you were
everything i wanted
everything i loved
ah i just hate myself
i hate my heart
i hate these tears 
i hate this feeling
i hate you
but
i want you for some reason
i just can't understand


Details | Free verse | |

Before we Existed they were at War

In arms with each other encircled
In lovers’ battle, cousins under the same blazing sun
And we hate them the same as they hate each other
Can’t change the sun or move those storms were just waves in an ocean of hate.
And we are dieing to be accepted by those we drag in the mud
Behind station wagons, and hung, and burned their sacred places
For fun, with guns like words and bullets handed like bread to their children.
And safe with towers to the ground we just rebuild our hate
Right hand world service, left hand holding bombs for babies
Not our children I know the future it states black ashes will rain from heaven
And we are not the same, blended and they still hating us, left us behind, to die in 
white, nothing holy
That cross we burn here in front of their homes is the same one we place on 
their foreheads to save them, burnt in their flesh
Freedom
And I am Christian, Muslim, Hindu, and Buddhist, Jewish
And we love and kill the same breathe of life in us just as we will do you cousin
America is atheist no religion yet we send our brothers and sister with right hand 
bibles and left hand guns Ak-47 freedom
Freedom and we love our cousins; my cousins marched with assault weapons 
before them in the oceans of American pride.
Freedom before us as a truly free nation….
And she knows the truth about them all
Unheard, but aware of the future of this earth
Mother…………… 


Details | Free verse | |

Societies problems

The charade of porn
hostages of the blackmarket
never see them around
double d's head in the toilet
not sure if they too have been claimed a victom
or if we will ever see that pretty face again

Tricks and deception used against people of different races
i hate you because you hate me
this is the way i was brought up to justify me
sorry for you to be wrong
i don't hate on purpose
but the propoganda on the tv
dubbed over voices saying things in different languages
i have no choice left but to believe

Arms race of the planet
gotta protect myself and my loved ones at all costs
more guns, more bombs
and the proof i know how to use them
to perpetrate a never ending cycle of premature
suicidal satanic slaughters

Religious points of view
blind you more than you can see
chances it was altered years ago
and is now a deceptive weapon
to corner our minds to believe what we believe
and fight for those beliefs
no matter how wrong we be
too confusing to think about this problem
sending our predecessors from drinking milkshakes
to packing a nine

Psychological abuse of imperfect people
mistakes made, may not be a mistake because someone else says so
tearing down angry men, instead of providing them with the tools they need
to be a functioning member of society

Money is more important than anything
and what we cant buy we will steal
wrap everything in a pretty package to protect the dream that might be there
when the nightmare is so real
and we escape the rapture of this knowledge
to afraid of how humbling it could be

Health concerns of what we consume
and the rules always changing of what we can and cannot eat
the ignorance of those healing us villified
if they dont have the answers we need

The game of life revolves around taking another life away
instead of the reality the whole thing is an elaborate test to save another life
if your life is not a joke why is mine?
reaching out on the internet telling a story with too much information
they might have witnessed a rape from a distance even though she was screaming
but this is a whole planet witnessing my trainwreck
doing nothing

Points and rewards of honour only come out of winning a war
and doing terrible things
when maybe it's easier to get your medal
by caring for someone tied to the tracks
and winning over that part of the war

Helpless or not

something needs to be done
when pieced together depending what you have done
the reward maybe for you


Details | Free verse | |

Love me, Hate me (My Secret Sin)

Lovely as I love you
Shove me, but it’s as lovely as I love you
Lovely, hug me, shove me
But it’s as lovely as I love you
If I hate me, would you still hate me?
What if no longer from my image you could rate me
I just want you to hate me
That way when we bicker and fight 
At the end of the night, you may still be my wife
Climax is more depressing than Miramax
Send my hate this rose, send my love this fax
For life is based on facts
Murderers with a lovely axe
It’s true, it’s true, tomorrow it’s you
Just ask Peterson and OJ
It doesn’t really matter what some say
And some day in that forbidden casket I’ll lay
Beautiful is you
Next to your cuticles, what do I do?
Matter is everything
But for some reason matter is so much sadder
The tears after the laughter
This is my love poem, my passion
Maybe this time you will kick me above the groin
Why is our pastime something we mourn?
A sacred Identity is born
Tears of shame, responsibly worn
Maybe after tonight we’ll make up 
And you’ll lay your head in my arms
And allow me to sooth you with my selfish charms
I love you, you hate me 
Tomorrow I’ll hate you and you’ll love me


Details | Free verse | |

CIVAL WAR

CIVAL WAR
Men turned against men war fighting killing hate multiplying until Death ruled the 
hearts of men carried over into Cowboys days of fighting killing and hate ruling 
the hearts of men again taking hate to the new extreme of violence wins the 
hearts of men again have you shined your shoes today mon capitan
have you ruled the words you speak yet have you grabbed the weapons of 
destruction using them on the prisoners of Jesus is your coat a faded blue 
turned gray is your trousers striped with yellow for the coward still in you
moving horses without food the horses soon become the food of men the stink 
is wrong the meat does not keep men alive just bodies full of flies the war was 
over long ago the winner was the Satanic Host and no one has an answer or a 
prayer of cival war to come again the battle flag is raised and it is full of holes as 
men are turned against the men of war.


Details | Free verse | |

STUD IN MUD

Poverty possessed – need to own Steal away to possess by me – and me alone Ludicrous to obsess need to love Stolen away to either be free and obsessed or jailed and alone With time displaced time we’ve grown
Between a hard place to face and a stone. By J.Thornton


Details | Free verse | |

building my case

why you go out of your way to make the world mad
the little power we gave you
walked all over me
and funny you think im the only one you have to answer to
but id start here
id start here if i was you

so many people like me
coming unglued
soo many people tired of you
you dont care
go do your suicide somewhere else
target audience
headless beast on a power trip
sell it to yourself
i have no time for you

Haters
nothing wrong with the haters
they have good reason to hate you
i hate you too
pushed the envelope too far
now there is nothing i can do
not for you

Desperate for control
you teach me the wrong wisdoms
why do i continually sit here and watch and l;isten a bunch of idiots
taking no responsibility for their own bull@#$%
i will be making my case
against each one of you in turn
but what do i know of being obsessed to a sick mind game

one by one
day by day
pointing my finger
calling out the names to bl;ame
wanna dance
the whole world knows
took a stand for all the wrong things
do you even know what you are
your puieces fit
ill rub it in your face
show you what you stand for
your wrong answers

solviong your riddles
whats the answer in the middle of all these sick individuals
whose the ones to blame
your utopia of $%& just got taken away

the pieces fit allright
ill point you out
tell everyone what part of the twisted plot 
how you betray me
building my case
its just too obvious
way too obvious
disk by disk
movie by movie
how your working together for genocide
i have no time for you good riddance
swim in your own viceral

tell me why you said those things you said
acted the way you did
lied to me again
the part of your own denial
a world throws you away
not me for being innocent
the world you create how it affected me
we will be going to trial

building my case
learned from your hate speach
all the times you tried to kill me
you get paid to live my dreams
the ones you takle away from me
building my case i'll show everyone
what your doing
building my case
you are a war crime
and your not getting away with it

go live with yourself
obsessed with yourself
and how you can lash out
i dont need it
i have no time for this
life is too short for this bull$%&^
so i'm building my case
of your warcrimes

I don't forgive you
i never will
laugh all you want at your power trip
your delusion of pwer does not have me fooled


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Lost in this world
Don't know which way to go
Need to escape
Need to find my way out
How did I get into this mess
How can i get out
I hate the pain
I hate the strain
To be something I'm not
I hate not having what I need 
I hate it when I bleed 
I hate the fears
I hate the tears
I know I'm worth more
But sometimes I'm not sure
What can I do to help my self
Where can I go to hide
I feel like I've died a thousand times
and brought back to this dreadful world
Why the pain
Why the strain
Why be someone I'm not 
Why do I care
Why do I hurt
The pain hurts 
The tears flow
The fears still remain


Details | Free verse | |

Hate Speach

Propoganda corners your mind
look at me squeaky clean
look at them
one at a time
allow me to concentrate your focus
then allow you to think for yourself
you will come
to your own
conclusion
turn around and shake my hand
now we agree and understand
dont agree
let me put it in terms you understand

the world has yet to prove to me
im not locked in a box in my own little corner
no one notices me
no matter what i do
so ostrocise you
march of the pigs
focuslesness of soo many forms
the laws of god
meant to govern you
but alas
what has god done for you
pause fo a moment to let you see
the only end conclusion to the matter at hand
is what we agree upon
the difference is there
for the sucbconcious math
for us to come together and see

there is no one out there
there is no other world
just an illusion
there is no china
therew is no india
just like the moon landing
propoganda and hate speach
put to death for knowing the truth
pine through their lies
figure out what they are up to
doesnt matter to you
cant interact with a world built around ignoring me
feed me lies to make me think
by cornering my mind
blinding me
eye by eye
isnt that what im supposed to think

where did i go to 
disappeared inside with my head in my hands
wishing all my friends were dead
gods rules were never meant to help us
we just govern ourselves with them
when the next blodd bath hits
i wouldnt be caught dead
in a uniform
or burried beside one
all your hate speach

and you wonder why i cant wait to die
for my own selfish cause
like selflessness has no pay off
wheres my bribe
born into this
sold to the gypsies
900 employeesd cant even pull it off
too late back to square one of your blame game
hate speach
see if i take the bait
all your practice of the front pages
all the fashion of the celebrities ive learned to despise
so pretty to make me feel 
like im nothing
nothing at all
as your laws treat me as a number
and im not important at all
build my life so you can rip it apart
with everything you do
then justify it with your hate speach

wonder why my names are songs
and happy birthday
the cuts on my arms never did you any harm till you join along
never mind the sad eyes looking away till you cant stand to disagree
then killing me is easy
a life long game of kiss but dont tell
till i do it to myself
so so suicide

aggrevated subconcious agrrevations


Details | Free verse | |

i love you sometimes

the love comes
and the hate grows
love tries
hate has a hat on its head
love shows
hate makes an appearance
love slips by
hate says a loud statement
love let's it go

... all i know is i love you

all i know is ...

I LOVE YOU

sometimes

and my hate is trivialized...

kiss me 
kiss me 
conk me ...

your  love for me is=
now
you knew it all
along-

you knew it all 
along-

the love
this never leaves

hah!

try, but here i am!

give way and  you know!
i love you!


Details | Free verse | |

Duel

Duel

Because of life tormenting me beyond tolerable limits, 
I called for a duel in the front of the surging crowd in the square.

Then, he looked me directly in the eyes 
and said mockingly “what made a cowardly person 
like you, dare to throw down the gauntlet at me?” and turned back.

I called for his attention, and when he looked back, 
I affronted him by lightly slapping his cheek and said 
“I ask you to accept my formal request for a duel.” 

He told me to set the date and the place, and select the weapon; 
I told him without hesitation “a gun and the foot of the mountain 
on the night of a full moon.”

Accepting my proposal 
he said “who will be the witness?”

“How about the light cloud passing by, though
fog may be too dense, and therefore obstruct vision,
haziness would appeal to the sentiment of one of us who may fall,”

“ and it’s better, if there’s a brook nearby, because 
we can hear the murmuring water that may soothe 
the flaming hatred; the shackle of our predestined evil-bond.”

Near the brook, by the mountain foot, we stood, 
holding guns in hand, face to face. Listening to 
the rippling water to reaffirm our unfortunate affinity, 
under the moonbeam calm and indifferent.  

When the light cloud shaded the moonbeam
we turned our back and proceeded five steps each 
stepping on the heap of fallen leaves,

and as the cloud cleared
my shadow and his shadow turned again to face to face.

Our outstretched arms at gunpoint
were aiming at each others' heart.

Life told me “fire first,”

I pulled the trigger but missed target;
the empty echo came back to me after it 
turned around the hillside stepping on the drifting leaves.   

Then, life pulled the trigger;
the bullet pierced my heart and hit the moon, 
the fragments of the shuttered moon fell by my feet, 
and drifted on the flowing water dyed red with my heart.


Details | Free verse | |

Innocence Of Childhood

Playing so peacefully with
ones in days long gone.
We had no cares for the future,
only of this day in pleasure.

No hate had we for anyone,
just playing our cares away,
the color of their skin made
no difference, but only the next
game we would play mattered to us.

Innocence of childhood we
had back then, our best friend
could have been any color of skin,
it didn't matter to us.

As we grew older things changed
in so many ways, innocence of childhood
soon changed into hate and anger for some,
others took the days of innocence of childhood
with them and it didn't matter who their friends were.

Innocence of childhood is what we need
to keep for always and hate and prejudice
would end.  Love would fill this world,
to all corners of this planet to the very end.

wrote 5-23-07


Details | Free verse | |

OIL and WATER

OIL and WATER 
Oil and water 
Nice feelings escape everyone when they receive hate filled ones and looks can 
be so downright misleading to me they hang the head and look DOWN the snoot 
at me when they could look AT  me and call me friend and the thing is to 
remember to get your heart in tune and try again to understand a thing is to begin 
to ascertain the wisdom of a true believer the OLD man is WATER the NEW man 
is OIL they seldom mix together but run one mile or even more from the distance 
to each other. 
OLD man is never good at seeing true of others listen as eye relate this odious 
tale  bearing words of hate the “OH my did ewe see just HOW she looked at  me” 
the OLD MAN says “ what is SHE looking at me with??? The New man smiles 
and tries again “ Oh well did ewe see the WAY she looks at me”? Where is the 
place she is looking at me FROM??? 
She is looking at a man it does not matter what she is looking at me with she is 
wrong.  Oil and water do not mix. 


Details | Free verse | |

For You All (My Secret Sin)

For those of you whom say 
I have to much hate in this heart
I don’t hate you with this guilty fever
But I don’t love you either
I don’t hate you with this guilty fever 
But I don’t love you either
And yet they tell me things change 
But when you look back on it  
It all seems strange
Promised to return as one to the manger
Tiptoeing over cement splits
Trying to avoid danger
Reality just dealt you a stiff blow 
When evil is near 
Christians feel a drift in flow
This is the humor in life 
Without stress being detrimental
There’s a little hate in the center of all of us
Being semi-sentimental
My life is portrayed on a conspicuous display
Go ahead and kiss if you may
Shooting for heaven
No way we can miss if we pray
Then again I’m likely to on this day
I was as peaceful and innocent as an old man
Stroking his beard 
Just as his time neared


Details | Free verse | |

TAO

TAO 
Tao 
To Flagstaff 

Jesus 
moneyless 
homeless 
hateless 
how can I really hate you 
if I am numb and there are icicles 
in me 
how can I really hate you 
as much as you deserve particles 
of dust 
motes smoteing freely forming 
in all of the city 
dirty city 
Love gone 
Jesus 
TAO 

Charles Hice 

Copyright ©2006 Charles Hice 




Details | Free verse | |

Lying Down

I’d hate to lie down
I’d hate to lie
Again
Like I did once before
Like I should have never done
Shouldn’t have
Regret
Haunting my mind
Lie down like a corpse
Giving up
Giving up all hope
All fate, all destiny
Never escaping
This life
This death
I’d hate to lie down my life, 
Like a corpse, motionless,
Waiting for the mortician
To take me
Make me, pretty
Prepare me for the end
I’d scream and thrash and tell them
I’m not dead yet
Keep me here
Keep me here, for a while longer
My soul is crippled but not dead,
Not dead,
Never dead,
Hope comes with faith
Faith comes from my heart
My heart still beats
Thumping,
Thump,
Thump.


Details | Free verse | |

Flight

Flight
Fright
I don’t feel safe—
And that’s why I like it.
Horizen turns blue
And clouds melt to grey
As my body leans back 
and is thrusted
into the sky.
The power of a plane overcomes me
I hate flying
And it won’t be long 
Before I fly again
A rush inside me
Rises up
As the thrill of adrenaline
Pulses my veins.
The red light of morning has not yet matured
But it will by the time
We reach Philadelphia
You won’t know when I’m 
There
Because cell phones must
Remain in an off position.
I’ll pretend you’re at the airport
Waiting my arrival
And only mine—
Or better yet, 
I’ll pretend you’re sitting 
Between me and grouch-lady,
Who finds sudoku more important 
Than a smile.
Stupid sudoku.
You’d sacrifice yourself 
To the middle seat
Cuz even if the aisle seat is worst
You know I hate much more
To sit next to a person
Who makes me feel not quite
Like a person
Because I’m not a person—
Don’t remind me!
When I’m flying.
Here’s your stereotypes:
There—your stereotypes
We all fit different molds
Yet we’re all the same
But so different
For your malconceived unconvenience,
Cell phones may go into 
The “on” position now.

I don’t know what it means—
This
Stuffy head.
Ears packed between
Brains and the pressure of
Being on top
At least in the air 
I don’t have to walk through mist
I don’t have to talk to anybody
I’ll take a coffee—
Is the only thing worth saying,
Sans turbulence
I dare not turn my head
Or steal a glance 
Out tiny windows 
For fear the pressured rush of pain returns,
Oh, busy head.


Details | Free verse | |

Results

my aunts been calling
my mothers sister
she's crazy 
and lonely
her own children hate her
she cycles through her family
looking for someone
to have tea with or talk to
but I can't 
go
there.
She looks like my mother
she has her voice
like a knife in my heart
like a hand on my throat
the pain is suffocation
the result is retreat
I can't bear to see her
to sit and remember
to miss her and hate her
to bring her so close
I'll keep one away and prevent the other
from opening
my heart.


Details | Free verse | |

Who or What is It


I don’t know who you are but I think I hate you for this;
I’ve spent my whole life asking why;
Why does it have to be like this?
I think it might be you; but why.
     I mean I know it’s your nature;
     You apparently chose to mess with the power that is;
     But why do you have to be here where we’re all at?
     I think we’ve been paying since the beginning of time.
I hate you for it;
I hate the whole idea;
How is this fair?
Life isn’t fair; that must be it.
     Religion says strive to be fair;
     Society tells us work on being fair;
     Meanwhile it is advised I keep my enemy close;
     It’s not only unfair but it’s not nice.
Ah speaking of nice;
From what I can tell;
The one thing I know about nice is;
Nice is having a bowel movement
     I guess I’m to ask for forgiveness;
     But forgive me if life has a constipating effect
     And oh that smell; the smell of it surrounds you;
     Oh did I make a boo-boo no that is a boo boo.
I was a pacifist once; a long time ago;
Everybody picked on me; everywhere I went;
It was embarrassing not to stand up for myself;
So what; I’m not supposed to be angry now and want to fight?
     Ok I’m not supposed to hate;
     But it’s real hard to be happy;
    And if I had any chance at all;
     I’d call your punk ass out.


  


Details | Free verse | |

death to deliver

Death to deliver

I deliver
You twitch
You sweat and shiver
“Stupid bitch” 
“Dumb twat, liar slut”
Silent.
It is almost over
Up until he spat “f*cking c*nt!”

Now you must receive what she delivers
Death pestilence famine and drought
This is the line, a border of sovereignty
Now it is done, forgiving you never
This was love your idiocy
 Accosts And affronts
The wrath taken without any dignity
Like a good little bitch.  – Twat.  – slut.  – C*nt.
Take the loss
Gag on it all – swallow the brunt.
Throat f*cked - Choked out man
kill the fear she lives in
Take your medicine
Taken with a grain of salt.
You hurt her again,
We will see how much shit you talk
When your throat is cut.


Details | Free verse | |

This Poem is for You

I am writing this poem for you, but
I don’t know you.
I don’t know what you hate or 
love, -white, red, black, blue
up, down, sideways –I just don’t know!
So, I will pick a broad subject
People, yes -maybe even you! You, you, you! 
I will write this poem for you and about you!
“You,” you are a person? Right!
There are billions of people on this planet,
tall ones, short, old, young,
fat ones, skinny ones,
some in good health some ill.
Some will die while I write this and
while you read it some will be born.
We are all the same, people are people but
we don’t think alike, look alike, or talk alike.
Some of us love each other, others hate everyone;
most do both unequally –we choose what we think,
and we think differently. 
You are smart, you can read
(many can’t,) and you are reading my poem
that is interesting to me.
It shows you have great taste.
You are perfect, smart, good taste, interesting
and I bet you are even sexy.    
I bet “You” are too large a subject 
for one poem, too complicated, too complex,

so, I will write about my cat instead, 
a car ran him over yesterday
he is dead; and I have
a half can of cat food in a plastic bag
in my fridge,
useless and taking-up space.


Details | Free verse | |

In these I feel . . .

I worked today and I didn’t think about you at all
I was happy when I came home
Ha! Home that’s a joke isn’t it, yeah . . . 
I’ve never been home, never been, for never had!
So you weren’t there, you weren’t anywhere today!
Just tonight haunting my poems all over again!
I hate it I hate it I can’t rip you from my soul!!!
And what if I could
If I could would I be better off!!?
Well would I be better off without this feeling in my heart
In the lightest reaches of my conscious mind that I know now 
What home feels like
Because I have felt your arms around me, felt your breath across my neck
Felt your eyes fall over my skin, touch in whispers my soul through and through
Listened to your breath that sighed silently in my ear under the stars
Because I felt you feeling at home in my arms too

My wandering mind that courses across the sea of sorrows deep and run fast
Lost in the waves and tides swamped all again in dreams of you
Crying out in the waters all around me as I sink once more beneath the waves
Falling down, down into the darkness of despair because I can still smell your hair
Feel it through my fingers when it shimmered softly in the lamplight
I want to scream and rip out my eyes so that I may not see your smile
Which warms me in the coldest of nights when I lay naked in the snows hoping
Praying, begging God to take me away, take me away take me, take me . . . too
Welcome me home into your arms again, oh I wish and I yearn
But God doesn’t listen to me in these nights no, no God ignores my pleas

I close my eyes and I bite my lips to blooding 
I smash my fist across the ground to watch through tears as my knuckles break
I break my mind across this tiled out floor and smack it soundlessly on the wall
Because it is easier, this kind of pain is bearable it is, it is, it is
Unspeakably kinder than the wretched agony of living all over once more without
Never more, never more, never more will these hands hold
Never again, never once, never ever . . . will these arms feel

I worked this morning and I didn’t feel a thing
I worked this afternoon, this evening and tonight I remembered why 
I remembered when
I remembered how 
I remembered
Remembered
Again

God . . . you broke my heart forever when you . . . 
It’s been a year, a lifetime and then another and another and still, still . . .
Since you’ve gone, since you tore . . . and I’m still here . . .  


Details | Free verse | |

Unloved by Father

I want to see you
I want to tell you things
But your not here
Is it that you don't care?
Or are you too scared?
I want you to be a part of my life
Yet somehow you forgot me
You sit with your new family
And I wonder if you have forgotten
For a split second
Or an entire year
You must have thought
Running off was the best for me
I can tell you it wasn't
I don't hate you
I hate that you don't care
I do not know what it is like to
Give a card on Father's Day
Or hug a dad when he gets home from work
I desire these things
But I can't have them
So take a second out of your hectic life
And for once
Answer you little girl


Details | Free verse | |

a little lie

i need to lie
i wish i didn't need to
i wish i could admit my failure to you
i wish you could accept my best 
and hold me in your arms 
and let my tears drench your shirt
but i can't
i can't tell you the truth
that i tried my best and failed once again
that all that time and money
was for nothing
but i wish i didn't have to lie
i wish these words could be born from facts
and not a dream floating in my head
i hate to lie to you
but what i hate more
is to hear what i heard i million times
it's a waste
give up
quit
your not good enough
i can't hear those words again
it would hurt more than lieing to my own father
i'm sorry
for you
that you don't have the heart
to love your daughter for who she is


Details | Free verse | |

A poem of enjoyment

A poem of enjoyment

Some days are calm and nice, some are full of hate and vice.
Some days are better than others, some days are worse.
Some days I want to die, some days I want to cry.
But this life is not full of sadness, it’s full of regret.
Some days are awesome, some are horrible
Life is not fun and games, it’s actually full of pain 
Some enjoy their life, some want to end it in vain
So please try to stay calm and don’t curse at god for he is not the one to blame


Details | Free verse | |

Other side of me

to know me is to hate me
to hate me is to never have known my other side
my alter ego buttersilk
buttersilk is like wearing my heart
on my edible sleeve
to spread me melt me and consume me
the original me is the original sin
like porcelain midnight black as evil
and smooth as glass holding in
and reflecting back distorted imagery
of pained submission my plight is cumbersome
and headed for your mind's window


Details | Free verse | |

I Love You Mom

Sometimes I hate her so much.
So much I can't stand her.
Sometimes she hates me.
So much she can't stand me.
There are times I want to run away.
I'm sure she feels the same.
She frustrates me.
She makes me mad.
But I'm sure I do the same
Most of all I hate the way,
She loves me
She loves me so much,
That she is strict with me,
That she has to know all about my friends.
All her extra money goes to me.
All her extra time goes to me.
Everything she does is about me.
I don't even deserve any of it.
She is the most amazing person,
She is filled with so much love
I only wish I could be like her
I hope that someday I am
You'll always be my hero
I love you mom.


Details | Free verse | |

Tears, Precious Gems

I can’t explain why I felt what I felt, 
At that very moment in time.
What made my heart crackle, shatter, and break.
Why in that instant I felt utterly and completely consumed with sadness,
There is no logical reasoning for letting something so small, 
Hurt me in such a huge, and profound way.
I hate you for making me feel that way,
I hate myself more for letting you make me feel that way.
Hate that I still can feel sadness because of you, 
As if you haven’t hurt me enough before, 
You still hurt me after, without even knowing it.
Without me even realizing it will hurt me.

Oh, what bliss I could feel if I could just let it stop hurting me,
If I could only shut that door in my heart, 
And leave it locked, throw away the key.
There is no reason for anyone to be in there,
No good reason the door should ever be unlocked.
If only my brain could do what is right for my heart and shut it out.
Take over the heart, make it stop feeling,
Make it stop double beating when there is excitement,
Make it stop bleeding with pain,
Agonizing pain, stop.
Stop now.

Give me strength to leave it behind, 
Give me strength to shut the door,
Give me strength to keep it locked.

A tear won’t be shed for you,
The only tears that shall fall from these broken tired eyes, 
Shall be the tears of happiness for someone deserving of those tears.
Someone grateful enough they would bottle them up and cherish them forever.
Like a precious gem.
My tears are precious gems.
Hard to get, 
Unforgettable,
And almost always deserving.

Not for you.
You are not deserving of my tears, 
Nor any part of my heart.


Details | Free verse | |

Fenced in....

If we have a poor perception of self
wouldn't we also....
have a poor projection of self
would it stand too reason...
poorly combined
would lead us to self deception
while we decieve others into
believing something we don't believe
our negative self.....

If we hate ourself
we'll naturally hate others
even if we try to fake it...
if we're insecure with ourself
we search for security from others
but,wouldn't insecurity fester like cancer?

It's all been said before,
the blind leading the blind
misery loves company
but....
when do we find it within' ourselves
to rise above our vulgar behaviors
and recognize that our warring
stems from our own sense of insecurity
......it only gets worse,before it gets better


Details | Free verse | |

The Phantom

Well, phantom, you've got me again.
You had me so fooled.
I'd fall for that special someone, 
Then I'd just fall to pieces.
Do you love or hate me?
Because you seem to do both.
You hide behind a loving warmth
Then leave, never to be seen again.
Are you scared that I will find you?
To finally unmask my true love?
Or do you just love to deceive me,-
Just to watch me cry all night?
Where are you hiding?
So full of mystery you are..
You were first a great smile, 
Then shockingly beautiful eyes,
Then a mind of philosophy.
Always the romantic..
Always making me fall for you.
Are you a criminal?
Constantly stealing my heart.
Or, is all fair in love and mystery?
Are you my shadow, so dark and always there,
Or better yet, my reflection?
Do you fade in the loves you touch
Or do they still remember, still love me?
How did you know where I was all those times?
How could you possibly know 
When, what, and where I wanted?
Do you rest, then strike,
Or constantly find yourself staring 
At me, so full of love
As well as tears?
You leave me questioning
What to trust and believe,
But you tell me in random ways
To move on and grow 
In love and life.
Is it you, or are you them?
Are you the one with my
Long lost heart?
You did nothing wrong,
So why did you leave?
Unless I'm not good enough.
Are you insulted?
You would never let me say such a thing.
I was always beautiful,
Worthy, smart, and strong to you.
Are you there when I don't think so?
Don't let me fall.
Carry me until you love me not.
I see you.
You're there the happiest times,
You're there the worst times.
You always had a way
To bring me in from the cold,
Give me happiness and a new little home,
Then kick me back into the snow.
So,phantom, show your face.
Answer my questions.
Give me a kiss, or, if you'd rather,
Let me die,
Because I know
You're not cruel.
You're not horrid,
You're not evil.
I know I love you
Even when I hate you.
I know who you are.
You are a phantom
In love,
Of love.
You are love.


Details | Free verse | |

It's Over (My Secret Sin)

It’s over, It’s over
I hate it when it’s like this
But it’s over, It’s over
I hate it that it’s like this
But it’s over
My success is stress 
Whether I see forth fit 
My chance to exhibit a new exhibition
Pivoting a broken tradition
My pen and pad 
The only utensils to accompany me on this expedition
Put my life in words, day by day
Now in the verdict, you can feel my pain
Gave you tragedy after tragedy
Disaster after triumph, conceal my shame
I’m rushing this book, cause I’ve been sitting here
Coping and pasting material to paper
Scratching my head, when thoughts vanish like vapor
To withstand my span with writing
I put it together like thunder and lightning
Worrying faces, plea bargain hurrying cases 
Walking down Forsyth
Got me desperate for that life “Like”
Lost tears as they bury your peers
Another freeway accident
Times like those
We see our seat belts and attempt to fasten it
Shed the possibility
Of becoming dead by not accepting reality
I hate it when it’s like this
But it’s over, it’s over
I hate it when it’s like this 
But it’s over, it’s over


Details | Free verse | |

These types of poems

I hesitate as I write these types of poems
because dare I ever say he makes me weak
I might lose him before anyone gets to see 
I am used to being disappointed 
So I shutter when a man makes me 
feel such strong emotions 
the type that makes me write these types of poems

I'm taking a risk when I say I feel butterflies
and that when he's around I feel good inside 
It makes hiding the new glow on my skin extra hard
but I fear the next poem will be entitled " It didn't work out"
I have developed many poems off of love gone awry 
so many tears I wiped cause he told me lies
So I must admit I panic quite a bit
when I start writing these types of poems

When I start writing these types of poems
It usually mean I'm sprung
It usually means I'm in real deep
and even though I hate admitting it
I am falling all over again
he makes me feel so brand new
Like the next grade in elementary
or a new pair of shoes
and even though I hate writing
these types of poems 
I must be honest with myself
I still smile when I go back
and read them no matter 
how bad the outcome 
because during the time 
I was writing these poems 
I felt so good inside.
That's something that deserves
remembering. 


Details | Free verse | |

The place within the fire part III

my world of tidal waves and sinking cities has not surprised me
of falling towers and other such horrors
its like ive accidentally seen them coming
and now I hate this world thinking I'm some sort of god
stuck in the middle of everything
inspiring mirrors of muses and masterpieces
and sometimes i wonder if god mad me bite off more than i could chew
but htat fire within
that crime i had to do
to save my life
i never meant to comit
i would be dead if i didn't 
and maybe your daughters too
and now word of mouth
two towns and sa city know about a crazy guy 
who went nuts in a big way
from some drug
but no one knows the whole truth
until this hits the streets and comes circling round
and the police will have to admit
i'm either more criminally minded than i care to realise
or it was all an accident
or that house was truly haunted

but i'm a tired soul
a lonely heart
and my pillow is swollen 
from tears of nightly torments of the radio
My story goes on
this legacy continues
and i care more for you than i let on
and i hate the world sometimes for the way it has happened to me
more than you will ever know

but i am strong
and i am weak
i find love and hold onto it
until they find a way to remove it from me 
or i poison myself another way
but i dont lie
and i dont hide
I'm not a murderer
I'm not arapist
I'm not a sex offender
just someone who lost their mind from drugs
just about got murdered heard some bad news and had to get away
and it haunts me everyday
it has haunted me for years
it has tormented me
and i know i am guilty
but i also saved more than just my life
and i think thats worth more than one room of your house
so i hope you keep that in mind

wehn I publicize 

the letters 

i have written to hitmen
who i know are out looking for a bounty
to stalk this miracle with a gun
my days are numbered again
and this phoenix needs to be reborn
but how many lives and chances do i have?

the place from the fire within 
was the beginning of an wscape and a new chapter of my getaway
and a new grape of wrath
and an endless book of self rejection and emotional scars
that hopefully one day heals
for now work on you
i know nothing will be the same

but at least you have your sanity
and mine is questioned everyday!


Details | Free verse | |

Cut Here

Ever come down here to weird town?
We would love to have you for a short visit

Take in some of our long winded pundits
Or enjoy a nice put down from our elitist sisters

We will serve you fine caffeine and salad sandwiches
While we convince your wife she is just a man's whore, so why not enjoy 

Let us steer you into the sure path of the coward
They will teach you fear and how to live with your head in the sand

Hating this town is our latest fad
Blaming it for all evil is what makes us feel so grand

Brainwashing our children to hate our flag
We want our fears to be their everlasting faith

We'd have you feed on our withering genitalia
So it makes us feel important and unquestionably sane

We'll be dead soon, but you we'd love to take
Down with us and leave our mark between your lovely breasts

Our selfish selves hate you, and everything
We're just running outta people we could manipulate

So, come visit us in weird town
We're always open, just walk right on in


Details | Free verse | |

Hate me

    I can see it in your eyes the way you act and i'm not surprised. You don't like me 
i'm sorry but honestly i'm stronger. So give me all types of looks, say what you want to 
say... because at the end of the day I could get " him" and that's all I need to avenge 
my irritation. Close your eyes what do you see? A little jealousy if you ask me. Since 
when you Trying front like you down? Is it because he no longer hangs around? I find that 
funny, you claimed how in love he was with you. Where is he? Why isn't he with you? All 
types of hate and I don't have anything to say but " please". Look me in the eyes, I am 
not intimidated... can't do anything but hate and girl I ain't with it. Trying act and 
play a part, how many shades of fake can you be? Peeling at the seams bursting to be seen 
but I don't see you and I won't ever see you. Stay trying to change my mood with evil 
glances but I am forever happy so stop hating already. I will always be me, my heart will 
keep beating no matter how the outsides change. I am still the same person. Is it wrong 
that I want something better for me? That I want love and all of the above and that I 
want to feel wonderful. I just hope hate can turn into love and that eventually it will 
be mutual.


Details | Free verse | |

Asylum

The Asylum of her mind
is a dark and twisted thing.
Full of hate and pain
no one understands it.
It's gates are the strongest,
nothing can get past them.
Reinforced with steel,
lined with rock, sorrow, and rage.
Hate and pain are the padding in her room,
Where she sits oh, so patiently.
Mummering to herself so peacefully.
Her father comes to see her.
She see's his face 
and her eyes begin to blaze.
Hate flares, and she begins to scream hate filled things.
I tried to tell you she yells.
I tried to warn you.
But you just wouldn't listen.
I told you something was wrong.
Now look at me.
Look at me in my Asylum.


Details | Free verse | |

Popular guys

   Why is it that I always fall for the popular guys? 
The ones that every girl desires, the one every guy respects.
The guy with so much talent and fa ness that he gets noticed for everything he does
The type that would be missed by plenty and mourned by many
Not a cocky bone in his body... just cool real smooth and confident
I hate that I always fall for these types cause nothings ever private
My best friends are all waiting in line to be with him
or to call him and get the scoop first it's irritating. 
Can't some info and some gestures just be for me? 
Sometimes I get tired of it always including everybody.
I always fall for the guy in the middle of the circle
The one surrounded by people
the one forever entertaining
Not easily Imitated 
Not easily copied
His style, his personality, his everything is unique and hard to find 
I hate falling for these types cause they disappoint me all the time
They have too much of an audience to just focus on my needs
I should be first. I am his girl friend if that counts for anything. 
It should but it doesn't. Not to a popular guy. 
Even if the attention isn't wanted it's still given and all I can do is stand by.
    Stand by while he puts up a front. Portraying emotions that hurt me and build him up.
Waiting to see if he'll ever need me... the way I need him.
        Waiting to see if it will ever only just be me and him.  


Details | Free verse | |

Shedding Beauty

A girl once told me,
"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."
All the while I couldn't understand why.
I thought to myself,
The birds sing for you
Like you are one of them.
A beautiful peacock.
However, you act like you pluck all your feathers
For the world to see.
They don't hate you, 
But how can they think you're beautiful?


Details | Free verse | |

They all think they're awesome.

From what I am, i have become, or what i vaugely think.  
so sing my song to play along with the team who thinks i stink.  

i cant become, not even more, than what i have today.  
to see my grades, to write a song, my self-esteem is gay.  

 i think too shallow i think too deep, and, for reasons i dont know.  
i seem use my intelligence to stay out of the flow.  

all the emos with swoopy hitler hair, 
and i see the preppy girlies, not eating, because they dont care?  

straight hair is the sexyest, writing on your arms.  
make sure we know you have friends, or we will raise alarm!  

gay is this gay is that, f---ing this and f---ing that!  
oh em gee, oh aybayaby, it all makes me want to hack.  

myspace me, no text me b-tch! i dont want to hear your voice!  
i met this guy online, and being safe was not my choice.  

i hate to face the fact, that we're really all the same.  
and our stylish tactics and der-der humor is actually kind of lame.  

i dont want applause, i dont want to lecture.  
im just sick of dealing with all the gosh darn pressure!  

i hate trying to be different in a individuality shunting world.  
i hate trying to make friends with all these indistinguishable girls.  

they all insist their different,  "oh i swear i know im unique!"  
well from lookin at ya honey, id say get a new technique.

comforming assholes.


Details | Free verse | |

Broken Expression

A big peice of my life
Seems to be missing...
After losing you after all this time
My thoughts seem to be racing...
But now that you're mad at me
What can... I do... to make it better?
I will go beyond my abilities
Just to make you smile
But remember that I'm only human
I can't do every single thing you want of me
If you choose to hate me
Then all I can say is sorry
If you want... to forget...everything
Then I shall leave you forever
I don't want to exist around you
If you say... I don't exist at all!

I cannot say sorry enough for you
And I don't want to say it again!
Because everything I do seems to be wrong
Because everyone seems to be yelling at me!

Waking up every morning
Seems to be killing me
Grabbing what's left of my broken heart
I pray to let me die quickly
Because I seem to be suffering
And I... don't want... to suffer anymore!
Only you can end it for me
In two ways
First way is to hate me
Hate me completely and forget about me
The second way is to love me
But I don't want it to be false you see
If I were to tell the truth about how I feel about you
Then love is definately my answer
But then I don't know if I can love again!

I cannot say sorry enough for you
And I don't want to say it again!
Because everything I do seems to be wrong
Because everyone seems to be yelling at me!
I'm tired of being wrong
And I'm tired of saying sorry!
From now on I'm forever cold-hearted
Because I'm too scared of loving again!
But I'll leave saying "I love you..."


Details | Free verse | |

You

At night I dream of you
I dream of your kiss 
I dream of your touch
At night you are all I see
I hear your words in my sleep
During the day I imagine what you look like
Are you tall, dark, and handsome
What color is your hair
What color are your eyes
How tall are you
What do you look like
I dream of feeling your caress
I wonder if you love me
You say you do 
But how do I know that’s true
How do I know that anything you say is true
What would you say if you meet me
Would you care what I look like    
Would you think I’m fat
Or just curvy
Would you think I’m beautiful
Would you think I’m weird 
Or just creative
Would you accept me for who I am
Or call me a freak
Would you forgive me for lying
Or would you hate me
Please don’t hate me
I may exaggerate
But mostly I tell the truth
And I’m telling the truth when I say I like you
Maybe as a friend 
and maybe more
I’m sorry if you don’t like it but this is me
This is the me you could learn to love 
But nothing is forcing you 
You get to decide if you like me or not
I can’t make you do what you don’t want to do
Please understand what I’m saying
I’m not trying to make your decisions
I’m just telling you what I think you need to know
Please forgive me


Details | Free verse | |

Hate, Love

I hate you! I love you!
The way you are confuses me.
You bring me to my knees.
Your the only one who makes me cry.
I want to see myself bleed.
The blood flowing to rid myself of the pain.
You make me hate myself. Love myself.

I hate! I love you!
You make me proud. Hate. Love. Sad.
I hate you! I love you.
You are just you.


Details | Free verse | |

My Ashes

Intense pain pure and uncut
blinding all righteous thought out of sight
a chilling journey inconjunction with 
a trouble plight
dark bleeding gums from biting my tongue
and a bruised throat from choking on my words
I wanna scream out loud
and shake the bark from my family tree
to fill the void I've come out of
to tear off these notions and happy thoughts
I wanna ponder the thought
and wonder in frenzy at my own misery
I hate smiling I hate laughing
give me pain pure and haunting
give me chaos
give me night take away the day
bludgeon the clouds and tweek the stars
spit on my grave
and leave no footprints in my ashes



Details | Free verse | |

Likeable you

   We fell 
  two hearts
   became one
      I thought 
        we'd stay
          but eventually
           we stopped
              now your going up
               while i'm going down
                  friends love your company
                  so I can't just leave skip town
                       I can't just forget
                         how can I?
                               Likeable you would never let me
                               And little old me couldn't just let things be
                                      I hate my life
                                         to ironic for my taste
                                           cause it's not just that
                                                   I like you
                                              that irks my nerves
                                                  It's that likeable you 
                                             could never stop being likeable   
                                                 Therefore I have no one to talk to
                                                      cause they wouldn't understand
                                                           why i'm trying to hate you
                                                               they wouldn't get it
                                                                   cause your so likeable 
                                                                           that i'm alone 
                                                                         even with my closest friends
                                                                              and that's a new kinda low
                                                                                A new below 
                                             


Details | Free verse | |

My Loving Hate

My loving hate,
says goodbye god,
I know longer love life,
and I've never loved you,
I seek refuge in hell,
only to say I'm sorry,
it's the only reason i'm praying,
for the first time in years,
I say a finale farewell,
to my dearest enamy,
my loving hate,
I wish you farewell,
I hate to see you happy,
but you never cared about me,
so I'm leaving you now,
goodbye god,
I hate you with all my heart,
though I feel unsure,
I hope hell is okay,
I'm sleeping there at night,
i'm leaving now,
I'm out of heaven's sight,
so goodbye god,
my love,
my hate,
the girl you used to hate is dead,
only I now remain,
so goodbye,
and hope I rot in peace.


Details | Free verse | |

LOve and Hate

LOve and Hate 
LOve and hate are the two opposites of fate. 
The sound of noise given; 
the music given from one we love; 
the discordant jarring memories of lost loved ones, 
mothers even fathers some lost sisters brothers, 
wandering in pain our bodies suffer. 
  
 Until united once again in love: 
We can rediscover 
that our souls are new. 
Important feelings are left inside our selfish solitudes 
as we  embrace each othere. 
In growing lassitude trying to emulate 
the oneness of GOD. 
  
 Love and hate we dew embrace as fate. 
Hang on to one and let go of the othere. 
LOve is new,hate is just to suffer. 
                                                                                   
 Black  is white that is shaded. 
Gray  remains the color of time. 
Purple hues embues the sky. 
Opposites are just harmfull it is true. 
Darkness is night and light is love. 
Come to me my love and love me in the day.


Details | Free verse | |

without

My tears are rain drops in denial
I hate to see him clothed with other girls.
Their laughter pierces my ears like cotton bullets
They pull me away from everything I want
My heart to turns to hate and bakes like loathed bread
He doesn’t notice me anymore than he did before.
I’ll stay here and hibernate in my thoughts,
Trying to set the blade away for now.
I hate to see the other beauty that surpasses my own.
I think my only thought is to leave them all behind.