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Free Verse Grief Poems | Free Verse Poems About Grief

These Free Verse Grief poems are examples of Free Verse poems about Grief. These are the best examples of Free Verse Grief poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse | |

NEVER TO BE MINE


Not with my arms but with a heart that blesses your reveries, may peace reside within your chest... is it possible to love you less? Perhaps allow the sun to brush your hair in the luminescence of dawn? Even autumn envies you as white light moves with your scent and possesses your laughter never to be mine again in times of harvest or falling rain… and from stars above, may your eyes remember our blades of grass while I half-close the damp field of memorials creaking on the burial of a resting place that finds me kneeling, wailing, asking how time can drown our adventures much too soon... as I stumble upon this cruel, bruised night.


Details | Free verse | |

Tissue Box

like visitors from outer space
they came with tears, and lined the sidewalk
long in face, and arms embracing
some (I have no inkling) who
they were or why they felt compelled to come here
dozens came with casseroles
a few with flowers, wads of tissues
tender words of helpless mutterings
many acts of generous offerings

don't get me wrong, I watched the suffering
expressed in words or acts of kindness
I watched it all, and felt the love
did not dismiss the warm compassion
returned it all, with pure compliance
a thankful heart, a swollen throat

I hugged these strangers at the door
to comfort them, who shed their tears
upon my shoulder, offered them
a place to share their sympathies
a place to spend their mercy, pure

                but, this was my child who suffered loss
                impossible........I can't express it

protected from the very start, by
loving hands, her dad's and mine, 
we watched her grow, and let her go
she grew from the vine ....into a rose
but life composed a tragedy with goals
beyond our reach...beyond our wildest dreams
and left her with a loss beyond control

like visitors from outer space we watch
as others come, and others go
they blow into their tissue wads
and empty the boxes one by one
and cry with us,  and then they all go home

do we cry........?  Oh no, not yet...
instead we smile a grateful smile
and thank them kindly for the while
and for the ways they share their love
but we can't cry into our own clenched wad
of tissue from the tissue box
she needs us to be strong, somehow
and so that is the way it is, we vow...to hold back all the tears for now


                for, this was my child who suffered loss
                impossible........I can't express it
      __________________________________________





4/12/13


Details | Free verse | |

a dearest repost, Angel Wings

angel wings

With every breath I take my body aches, 
When I lie in bed I feel my insides hurting.
With every reminder brings me pain.
No more can I find comfort in my home, 
The cries of babies stains my mind. 
I'm trying my best, 
But of course from day to day hour to hour,
I find myself crying. 
Memories that morning come to me every day, 
Nurses surrounding me my doctor getting on her knees,
Her head looking down, 
The thoughts that ran through my mind.
My life entering a new course, 
One full of grieving. 
He had my face,
My son,  my beautiful angel. 
He's watching me now,
He left me in tears but he is in my heart.


Details | Free verse | |

Grief is Grief is not

Grief is not something we “get through”…
you “get through” a bad day
Grief is not something we “get over”,
“you ”get over” a cold”
Grief is not something we “move on from”
you “move on from” a bad relationship”
 
But Grief is… a companion we “move forward with”,
learning from and growing, with each agonizing step.
 
Grief is… a heart-wrenching process, not bound by time,
But sets us on a “lifelong journey” of finding truth and meaning…
 
Grief is not a crutch we hold onto for pity
It is not a lack in character
It is not a weakness that needs to be strengthened
Or a problem that needs fixing
It is not an enemy to be slain
Or like a wild animal, to be caged
 
Grief is… “A METAMORPHOSIS OF HUMAN LIFE”
YES! that needs “time”… “A LIFETIME”
 
Grief is… an acknowledgement of true love shared
and true love lost
 
Grief is… a love we hold so deep within our souls
That our tears fall to caress the pain…
“God given tears”, full of purpose and meaning
For each one carries with it a piece of our heart
 
grief hugs us and holds us close
to a great love we can no longer touch…
grief is… our friend for without it
our lives would have been a lie.

Grief is…purely and simply a journey of love
It is a friend, to those of us who mourn
A friend who sees what we need and allows us to be us
Grief is a release of unimaginable pain…
a release of a great indescribable loss…
 
 
Grief is… the bridge that crosses repentant oceans,
spans desolate canyons, and fear filled mountain tops.
that we may cross over this tragedy to a renewed heart 
by means of the love we shared and continue to share
through the love of our Almighty God
 
 
Grief is…
A pain we can use, to broaden our hearts
and the hearts of all those around us
it is… a road we must travel to gain wisdom.
A level of wisdom you will never achieve by playing strong.
For only when we sink to the bottomless pit of grief
Will we be awakened by the light of truth.
 
Grief…
Do not judge it… for it contains Gods secrets
Secrets you can only hear by listening
through the blare of the pain.
It is a sacred contract to be in awe of and inspired by
To learn from and grow from
To gain compassion and understanding from
It is a journey that holds a sacred contract
That will be signed by each and every one of us
Who has the strength… and the courage…
to love with all your heart and all your soul.
It is not a journey I would wish on anyone
But now that I am here I will walk it with honor
And purpose, with my head held high and my feet in stride
For at the end of this road there you’ll be,
waiting to take me home.


Details | Free verse | |

Hard Work

Laughter drifts through the house, ....it has been such a while
Debate filters in, from the kids in the kitchen
The rafters are rattled with two strong opinions
Girls against boys, with opposing positions
I've watched them shuffle their cards and argue who won,
They seem to be lost, in the light masquerade,
of bittersweet happiness that is dim from the gray

Dipping their chips into onion laced cream
smacking their lips, and drinking their cokes
They are betting a few of the red plastic discs,
that will ante' this round 

...I listen, and smile, it's a beautiful sound, ...
   So long overdue,.......
                     we are embracing the mood... and it is time that we do....

Now a new game ensues.....
Monopoly, perhaps? Or charades, they will play
Whatever it is, ........ let it fill up the day
                                Let it take them away,....away from the gray

I let up the shade
to watch the evening come in,  bringing umber and rust,
as earth swallows dusk, which is fading away

From the living room window, I am hoping to see 
geese flying back to their warm winter homes
All nature seems normal, routine, once again

Winter is coming and a new year begins
How will it be now, this journey, untried,?
As we move on, wearing smiles, wearing grief on our sleeves
Smiles, for awhile, hiding anguish, and pride

Cold days are arriving......and there is talk on the hill 
where tall pine trees are whispering, 
reminding the creek, and the ash trees are shedding
and katydids will not call out condolences in the dark

Soon enough, when the lark sings,  wet grass will need tending
stacks of shutters will need painting,
and snow will yet need to be pushed aside

How will they cope..?
He's not here to do it...but somehow we hope
they will wade their way through it..

But for now , at a kitchen table
for these brief moments, they are able
to laugh, argue, and have fun...
                       Someone shouts out,  "I won!"..

Joy is hard work...but it needs to be done 




_________________________________________________________


Details | Free verse | |

Soul mates solace

When my final shadows cling on desperately
Where I fight formidable battles
to merely hold the light
I send you loving vibrations
and soul sustenance
Deep from the cathedral
of one heart to another
where today no choirs sing
nor symphonies play
Yet it is here where we meet
in spiritual solace
here to surrender 
and exchange inestimable treasures
recollecting memories 
like unopened letters
Galaxies are stretched
over chronicles of shared history
Nebula birthing stars
will be exposed
in forth-coming conversations
bringing short-lived fulfillment to you
Hungry to feast
now will be the time
to approve your blood art vision
and with my own haunting surrender
as dappled shades ink stain your chest
I will reside with you and share, mesmerised 
pens - by branding
as this will be your written reams to me
your artist's pallet or brushed canvas
no need for words
and yet creating
mysterious magical moments
Bitter-sweet the music
that dances taut guitar strings
but now blood approved
please go kick your heel up
return to your laughter
and ride on the breeze
for not all are lost
change not
for I am with you always
to love, listen and comfort as one
with you in me and I in you
as masterpiece


Details | Free verse | |

A simple visit

Trying to get myself together,
I book my dentist appointment.
In the waiting room I sit.
Finally, they call me,
 I sit on the all familiar dentist chair.
Looking up, the light shines on my eyes,
Giving my headache advancement,
I close my eyes.
Suddenly they speak of cavities.
“Would you like to get fillings today?” they ask.
Sure, I thought aloud.
They numb my mouth,
Nothing I felt, they asked me one more question.
“Would you like the gas to feel more comfortable?”
“Yes please”, I replied.
Next thing you know I am gazing off,
It leads to my mind wondering, I feel strange.
Images of all my emotions pop up,
They start to seem more real.
I am off into a deep sleep,
Me sitting in a chair carrying my son,
He opened his longing eyes,
My heart felt the joy of this dream.
I was rocking him so peacefully,
My little angel came to me in a deep sleep.
I wake from the drilling of my teeth feeling at peace,
The dentist told me of how peaceful I seemed,
Moreover, of how tired I must have been that I fallen asleep.
No idea they had of how restless I was,
Nor that I am a grieving mother who had just lost a piece of her heart.
I did not expect to had left the dentist feeling happy,
I had a vision a created memory that put me at peace.
Crazy you might think but I look forward to my next dentist appointment.

~My son Bael forever in my heart and if I’m lucky in my dreams he will visit me~


Details | Free verse | |

Time's Loving Deceit

Anger flies with swift wings
As tedious pleas for more time reverberate through his mind
He is the servant of Time- yet takes the blame
When her clawed hand unwinds the clock
He, the sovereign of the dark, the one and only truth!
Is at the front of the onslaught of screams

He moves soundlessly, a shadow in the world
Tormented whispers scattering around him
Fear spreading wildfires' shrill promise
Mercy, a withering carcass in a crude burial
He became Hope's last regret
When he became the prince of darkness,
Forgoing all he once was, and all he could have been 

When he sailed away from home, his love for Time burned
He had loved her, caressing her supple frame
Faithfully staying by her side,
And Time managed to wrap her cruel talons 
Around his frozen heart
Dwindling him down to nothing more, than abject self-loathing
And she trapped him within her bondage, for eternity
Now he wanders, over and over again in his servitude
 A trapped guardian of the dark

The fog horn groaned its complaint of “too.late”
Under darkened sea that once birthed horizon
And Hark! a maelstrom of black ink 
Behold its terrific evil and terror! 
A swirling whirlpool announcing you-have-been-fooled
And the cries of fright forever ruled
Scream in delight—“He suffers our fate…in pain we celebrate!”

He no longer looked along the swirls in terror
But was now part of its ferocious cycle
Tears mixing with the agonizing laughter
Amidst salty moans and tepid sweat
 
Soon… exhausted by the chaos… he sank into a most foggy pit
Ashamed, naked, barren of all past wit
A cowardly frame, shivering in unknown terrain
Inside a place where Time is gone….
But always looming in the brain….

As the errant fogs lift,
The grizzled trees’ feet curl in sensuous fervor of the cold
He envies e’en the trees, with heartless relish of their misty exhalations

Under shuttery breath he no longer truly breathes,     … he sighs…
Might I never reach the heights of even the mel-lowed fog? 
Shall I burn upon the dead leaves, rising only to fall?

From that day forward,
He wandered blindly
Both loving and loathing pulsing tempos of silence 

“I’m still in love…” He whispers softly. “Oh how I am in love…”
The dark that once befriended him almost smiles now…
…then why do I feel so alone?
The wind blows in almost an unnerving jeer
A cool wisp enunciating Time’s uncouth rejection
For she loved no one, yet all
Loving with a cruel wish to watch the other fall
How many has she taken, he would never know
For in shadow comes confusion and woe
—and the voices he hears do not sound of his kind
But who am I? What am I? 
A slave in Time’s forever grind…

8/30/12
A very special collaboration with Rebecca Larkin


Details | Free verse | |

9 11

                                    
                                                               
                             America the Free  ~             America the Brave ~
                           Freedom with price              Capitalism attacked
                            the many taken                   hearts broken still
                              one World                           try to rebuild
                            sadness and tears               fall hard with fears  
                            guilt by association             many accused still
                             souls evaporated                shattered dreams 
                            tears fall on innocence          left with anger 
                             The proud fearless             knew the inevitable
                              policeman fireman             many lives lost
                            grieving does not stop           12 years later    
                               New York city once          proud  & shameless 
                             refusing to let fears in          protecting ours 
                                left in shock still              question's unanswered                    
                               nothing learned                     nothing gained  
                                ready to attack                   many left behind
                              anger greets denial              anger meets rage 
                               unacceptable still                 refusing new love 
                            wanting days to rewind           let us go back in time 
                              acceptance  allowing           the victims leave in peace
                              the brave taken young           leaving us sadly old
                               haunting dreams                     lost spirits dwell
                               no answers to hate            never forgetting that day
                               Evil entered suddenly              unforgiving fate
                                entering our City                we stand with the fallen
                                 How to fix                            how do we Change 




           
            This can be read many different ways ~ This is a poem I am so proud to write ~









          


Details | Free verse | |

My Heart Stopped Beating

Laying her back on the wall of her prison
Why was it different
It hurt more
Shocked more
Chest heavy
Grief affecting her
This terrible ache consuming every pore
Harder to swallow
It was him she's sure

She loons at me
I know the look
She's hiding behind the sofa
Saying he's been back banging on the door
I know it was the tumble dryer upstairs
Her eyes are bloodshot
A beautiful bright blue bloodshot
Wide as fish eyes
She's been pacing all night holding a knife
She's holding an umbrella
I took the knives last time she cut her wrists
She's in torn clothes as she tears at her flesh
I feel my flesh tear
That's her last nice dress
No longer nice but torn and red
I give her trousers and a belt
My own only just brought
They drown her
At least she's covered
She says he's been calling her all night on the phone
I took the phone when she smashed it on the wall
I try to think of everything
In the bathroom there's hair in the chipped shabby sink
She's been pulling it out by the roots
I feel my scalp it's sore, alien
I feel everything
I removed the scissors when she shredded her scalp cutting her hair off
Saying this is why he had her
Her long golden hair
My hair
Lithium pills
In the cabinet, too many
Too many pills
She should of taken these

She calms
I calm
Promising to take her pills, begging don't send me back to hell
But at the secure unit she's safe 
I'm safe
Says she'll have a bath and 
be better tomorrow
She's settled, I'm settled
So I leave
I'll come back in the morning
I sleep soundly
First night in months
The morning light gives me slight hope
I can't remember this feeling much

I hear a crash 
I run
I'm taking too long
Kicking the door in
I thank God for kickboxing
She's swinging from the oak beam in the ceiling
My belt around her neck
Juddering
I look for a knife
I look for scissors 
To cut her down
Cut me down
I look for a phone to call an ambulance

I feel my body juddering
My heart stop beating
The belt
The new belt
I hadn't thought about the belt


Details | Free verse | |

Faces Inside a Window

 

The only sound, whistle of a quail;
That breaks in upon the tranquility.
From the treetops glows the yellow moon,
Suddenly tossed, as a draught twists through
The golden leaves hung loose from the trees.
A cold blowing mist through the narrow streets,
Past the windows and past the broken panes;
You can see, their faces smiling pensively,
Inhaling the joys and fears of life.
Yearning with the ebbing light.
Partly patch'd, partly glaz'd;
Hearts rendered heavy and faint.
Yet, I see the light in their eyes,
Glowing with a rosy flame.


..

Written by : gautami phookan

For Giorgio Veneto's contest : "Impress Me"

motiff- ? Spiritual/ Philosophical


..


Details | Free verse | |

Masked Men

Masked Men

Look in the mirror
Look in the mirror
What do you see?
Masked men staring back at me
What do you do when you look in the mirror?
Only to despise what you see
The pain you caused the everlasting memories
Do you see what you've done?
Can you live with what you caused?

Go now down your distant path
Your unworthy happiness will never last
These are things the Masked Men Cause
Who’s to say your right or wrong?
Misguided emotions lead you down this path
Masked Men mistakes will surly last
Go now the time has come
No more chances the Masked Men are done
Turn away and feel the pain

The lonely walk to enter slumber
The Masked Men Smile with pleasures unknown
Another one down
A broken spirit lost
Close your eyes and take his hand
Let the Masked Men take you away

By: Tim Lundmark


Details | Free verse | |

Am I really me

I always reach for you
When the night seems too long
It feels like you should be there
Lying where you always were

I want to hold your hand
Feel your fingers tighten
Around my own tentacles
Two hands cleaving as one

Since you’ve been gone
The walls listen to my sobs
And seem to whisper of grief
That edges my very soul

Missing you is like a nightmare
Where I never truly wake
It leaves me feeling sluggish
Even during the sunniest days

I often wonder if I will ever find comfort
Amid the pain of my memories
Will I ever look through the old photographs
And caress the heart of what could have been?

Missing you is a tragedy
That keeps me grasping
For the pieces of the past
Which frequent my thoughts
Without you, I think
Am I really me?


Details | Free verse | |

My Micke boys

                To be called ..
            ~   Grandma is a Honor ~

        I have been blessed with 4  Grandchildren

       ~ one lays in Heaven " Kaleb "  He is God's Angel ~
   ~ His twin brother he will always watch over , and be in his soul~

     For he loved his Brother so much in the womb ,
       he chose Heaven which gave life to his twin
      ~ I feel his spirit when I see the other Grandson ~
 
              Time passed another gift to see
               we are " Mickes" and Loved 
            Our Dad held the title in Baseball 
                   ~  that's how we roll ~
           those children are Grandmas hero's 

       The Irish they love big and Family is everything 
        The brothers will protect the beautiful sister 
              ~ as many lads will be calling ~

        Every time my Grandson hits a home run
     There will be a Angel watching proudly in the stand 

       It will be as if the Angel lifted him when he runs 
           ~no one runs faster then my Grandson~
     either baseball or Art  ~ you shall find your gift given

                These children have been blessed~
                 ~  a beauty to hard to describe 
        If you think not ~~  Take a look at the Mom  
                     That girl can stop Traffic   
                    after raising three and still~ 

          "Inspired by the gift and loss of Grandchildren "

     May our precious " Kaleb " softly rest where Angels only Dwell


Details | Free verse | |

Dementia

He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
Tough.
Independent.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died, 
he has not been the same.
Sad
Lonely
Empty.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
Mind slipping, 
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it, 
until now...
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain, 
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Oh well...
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best, 
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows 
what happens next.
Sedation
Medication
Anger
Hurt
All results of
dementia


Details | Free verse | |

Bill


R.I.P. William Dale Eubanks
d. July 1, 2012, aged 68 yrs., Tennessee Ridge, Tennessee

Death came as no surprise
the first Sunday in July;
it claimed you, on a ridge in Tennessee,
with kin who took you in and waited with you
through the last hard days.
You kept what fears you had well hid,
did not betray with loud complaint
the fate you could not but know awaited.
A smile, a joke, a hug – exotic meals –
And genuine interest greeted all you met.
And you were, certainly, never boring
but well-traveled and smart
beyond the telling.
We’ll miss your wit, your bright demeanor,
and will remember all you freely gave ---
and what you took from us
with your passing.


Details | Free verse | |

Why Is It

Why is it that pressure feels so heavy?
When pressure isn't solid.
Why is it that tears of anger hurt more?
When anger isn't sorrow.
Why is it that life is a challenge?
Life should be a gift.
Why is it that car was there?
In that right place. At the wrong time.
Why must I live my days in memory?
Ten years still don't block that moment.
Why can't I be stronger?
Make you proud of me. I know you're watching.
Why is it that you didn't look the same?
In that bed. In the hospital.
Why did I hug that woman?
The one who hit you. She brought a plant.
Why did I say 'She'll be okay.'?
I hoped. Knew it wasn't somehow.
Why did it have to happen right after our phone call?
Two more seconds you'd still be here.
Why are we left with all these questions?
Spoken out into empty air.
Why am I still here?
There must be something I'm meant to do.
Why?


Details | Free verse | |

Affliction

I kneel my knees to please the Above
Dying to eat every word from the hope
Went to the prominent land with great gurus
Sitting on the hot seat, listening to them

Time came for judgement holding the swords of my fear
First battle got victory but it wasn't remain long
Tears suddenly rolled down not because of failures
But for the companions stood better to receive the crown 

In the dark sited with a small light of candle
Regrets with gigantic question, "what did I do wrong?"
The unending question covered the beating heart
Marked the loneliness to face the bright shine

Under the humiliation around the eyes 
Expected that it would I overcome!
Turning my head towards the abstruse gem
Gives brilliant views and bogus fate!


Details | Free verse | |

Moon bridge

The moon so bold seems cold
with a halo of midnight glow
I sit mesmerized as the night grows old.

I bleed still, even after all these years
and I wait again through the night
aching in the depths of my soul
that no other seems to know
the Loneliness that has become my companion.

In the darkness we wait and confide in the other
our deepest fears as memories fade
in and out each season of change
            the nostalgia tempers the wars of pain
this tempestuous foe of ours
         wails at the gates of midnight
howling the warble of humanities last grace.

How the comfort of minds and hearts
turn from light to deep dark in the face 
of eternities long time clock...

I ache with wanting, with need and passion
          it is a lie that time heals and wounds scar
each night is fresh like the first
                              when I faced realities shock.

Who can wait with me?
Who can hold this hound at bay?
Who can cherish what little love left in me
             and make the broken whole?


I ache to be loved again as the love that burns
and waits inside of me. 
Who can comfort this emptiness and fill the void
                that so many leavings have left?

Cherish and love to honor and protect
             but who can slay these demons that hold my heart in wrath?
Who will walk the sulfur clouds of hell to save my mind
     and deliver my world to the gates of heaven
      with life, not death bridging the distance of pain?

I sit and wait at the floor of the moon each night
waiting for that bridge to carry me yonder,
      this moon who hangs heavy and ripe with the yearning of my soul
with clouds aglow as if I could sweep them across a canvas
   with the brush held in your hand

I rage at her as I wait, but still I wait and weep
as Loneliness and I keep each others company
wishing the clouds of that great moon could truly create
a way to find the lost, a pathway to home, lit by the legacy our love.


Details | Free verse | |

A SECRET NEVER TOLD

I never told my mother the truth
about the autumn night my sister died
The sad secret that churns in my soul
struggling to escape    holding my breath hostage

Wakened by a sound puncturing the silence of our sleeping room
Our bedside clock with numbers that flipped every minute 
bore a dim glow illuminating the time    12:16
Gentle moonlight drifting through the window 
fell on my sister    sitting on the side of her matching bed 
Her auburn curls tangled and frizzy     sea blue eyes glazed with sleep  

She coughed into cupped hands
A hard cough    racking lungs    clenching her chest
I threw back covers    dropped bare feet onto a cool wooden floor
headed for our mother’s room
She waved a hand as coughing eased     shook her head
Said she was all right    didn’t need Mom
Slid back into bed on her side    facing me
Snuggled her head into the pillow with one arm curled under 
The other arm lying on top of the covers    hand curled under her chin
Closed her eyes

Clock numbers flipped to 6:00 am    time to get up for school    
She still lay in the same position    skin now drained of color     
Once rosy cheeks paled as if buried in a sudden snowfall
Her hand    cold where I grabbed it to shake her awake
Stiff joints locked in place

My screams locked in place 
banging against clenched teeth    drawn lips
At thirteen I couldn’t imagine what to do with guilt 
that descended on me like a sodden wool blanket 
It was too heavy to fold and lay aside

Knew I couldn’t survive if Mom knew my secret
That I slept peacefully while my sister    her first born child
slipped away beyond our reach
Images flooded my mind of Mom’s soft loving eyes
hardening with hate    her comforting touch withdrawn 
Some actions cannot beg forgiveness

Mom has gone now to be with my sister
But I am not worried     
My big sister always kept our secrets



Details | Free verse | |

Rape And Abuse

Cries for help went awry ,
anguish and pain went in vain
lost battle of life before a coward.
Groping and forcing on a girl  does not
 make a man strong just proves that he is a beast,
and unfit to be among people.
Taking away a girl's modesty
is not a most heroic act
but a heinous crime which
even ferocious beast would not have.
Curse the moment when these 
sick are born with lust all the time.
Even girls are afraid to
be mothers,raise kids like these.
The power of a man lies in character
and heart but not in sexual supremacy or desires.


(Dedicated to Nirbhaya,who  was brutally raped and died fighting for her life.And all those who have been victims.Let's raise our standards and respect women everywhere ,without her there is no world.)


Details | Free verse | |

The Wasteland -Part 1-

How can one express the baffling depths of obscurity? How can one behold to open the shafts of the mind? I have never been able to solve the mystery— Of myself. . . I wish at times that my life was no more That I could live as another and finally see things right But I am always stuck in this darkness And I cannot see this mind in light There are beasts. . .demons prowling through the wasteland Searching for any remaining life And if they are ever found— They are doomed and consumed Fear is their downfall and they never fail to smell it Their ashes remain, dancing with the imaginary breeze It is silent here—there are no answers I wish there were answers. . . But maybe there was never a reason No answers. . . Talons extend and clench around my heart They will never seek me out—they left me here It is like they knew…I had no reason—that was the answer I feel the pulse of my dangling life Alone in the dark, whimpering like a child I have scared myself, becoming this dragon-daggered youth No balm in Gilead! No eyes to see All I know will never be free I don’t need anyone! You are a disgrace—scum of the waste! You have everything, you ungrateful little nothing You are a joke. . . So swallow it all up like the pushover you are Stand your lowest and trudge right through No questions. No answers. Just . You. Or just lie back down into the mush of disease It has already infected you to the core Accept who you are, you ugly pestilence! I hate you Who are you to be glorified? Dream snatcher. . .murderer of all things bright Saturated in what you call light I see right through—even as the reflections shatter All of the dead kept you alive—they all matter… But alive you are the worst there is False savior—edited attention whore I never want to see your face again See, that’s why I hide. . . Desperation. . .desperation. . . I sob and cry kneeling in defeat For once I am right. . .I am right


Details | Free verse | |

Mourning Since Dawn

Why must the mourning come
with every dawn?

The sky is crying again today.
I heard her sobbing
as I laid in bed.
She would calm down
for a little while,
then it would start up again.
Did I do something
to upset Mother Nature?

I watched in solemn silence
all afternoon
as her tears
streak down my window pane.
I wonder what I can possibly do
to comfort her.
There are no tissues large enough
to wipe away
a streaming flood of sorrow.
Maybe this is just Mother Nature's way
of grieving,
and soon it will pass.

The newborn flowers
open their blossoms
to receive and embrace
her gift.
Mother Nature is so beautiful
even when she cries.



May 13th, 2014


Details | Free verse | |

SHADOWLANDS

                                “Once very near the end I said, 'If you can -- if it is allowed – 
                                 come to me when I too am on my death bed.”

                                 “Allowed!' she said. “Heaven would have a job to hold me;
                                  and as for Hell, I'd break it into bits.” 



                                  Oh God, God, why did you take such trouble to force 
                                  this creature out of its shell if it is now doomed to crawl back
                                  -- to be sucked back -- into it?

                                                                    ~ C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed ~


                                  __________________________________



The division should be acute, the before her, the with her, the after her,
Yet there is this constant rattling of doors, though they remain locked,

in theory. I think of her as gone until I turn a page and read a passage 
of pompous dialogue and she returns, My Joie de Vivre, entertaining me 

with that puckish wit, unabashed. She smiles in the dusk with crusading 
colours that bend dark horizons, changing clouds unexpectedly. What was I 

before Joy*? Content, pleasant and productive. But was I alive, aware of
Life, its blissful rhythms? Irony defined: the heart which awakened stone 

no longer beats. Finally, I understand. Lessons are sharp things which
infect both fresh and aging amputations. What do I do with this knowledge? 

It is like learning a language that is no longer spoken, a long monologue 
unbearably forlorn, painful. Faith dismisses hauntings, yet she does so 

in daily degrees, oh, the sweet ghosts that peer from those notes, my name 
underscored in margins. Why is there only one glove in the sewing box?  

Agony hunts me in the garden. Perfume almost, but not quite a match.
Some rooms have snares. I dare not open a kitchen drawer. Pain waits there.

The specter of my former self, a staunch gent, so sure of Heaven's role, 
that cold bloke follows me in the shadows, land of man’s rage and despair.

There is no pretty death, no words can comfort the ravaged left behind,
There is no poetry in our departing; I only pray there is Godspeed in mine. 



*Written Nov 4, 2012






Joy Gresham Davidman, American poet, and C.S. Lewis, English writer and Oxford scholar, were good friends and married solely for the purpose to keep Joy in England (contested). But love came, as it has a habit of doing, when least expected, after Joy was diagnosed with terminal cancer. There love was true and deep, and her death shattered Lewis. His book, A Grief Observed explores his anguish and a Christian’s questions which arise during times of suffering. The film, Shawdowlands, is based on the biography, Through the Shadowlands: The Love Story of C. S. Lewis and Joy Davidman. Lewis died 3 years after Joy. The above poem is a conjecture on my part, as no one can truly know what lies in another's heart, alive or otherwise.  


Details | Free verse | |

The Hands of Pain

My soul pounds with rage.
This heart has been scorched,
by your burning words.

My soul gasps for light 
slowly suffocated,
By your hands of pain.

I bare the mark of shame.
Your touch has maimed my body.
My mind drowned out my screams.

Blow by blow,
Shamed so low.
Never did you know how,
Your hands of pain marked me.


Details | Free verse | |

The Game

The game is his friend.
Always there for him.
Never turning him away.
Inviting him to visit
And giving him the 
Best seat in the house.
In front of the screen.

It is his sport.
Replacing baseball, football,
Basketball and all others.
It lets him score 
And makes him feel
Like a winner.
Like a champion!

The game is his sustenance,
Feeding his thoughts,
Shaping his soul,
Controlling his mind,
Closing the door to family.
To intervention.
To the world.

Anger grows behind 
Raised brows and widened eyes.
Desensitizing him.
Honing his skills and
Numbing his feelings.
Making him blind to life.
Making death easy.

Without compassion,
Without love.


Details | Free verse | |

All the Dead Bodies

What do I do with all the dead bodies
Of those who have murdered my heart
And left me a wreck
With no hopes and dreams
No self esteem
No will to fight
Or get through the night…

What? What do I do with all the dead bodies
Strewn along the pathways of my mind
People who are dead to my heart
Those whom I want to forget
Who fed me the bile of regret
What do I do?

What do I do with all the dead bodies
Of those who have deadened my love
And left my heart frozen, numb
Left me alone to scream
Thirsty by love's stream
Longing to die
Without knowing why
They could be so cruel
To break my heart’s every rule
What shall I do?

I will bury them….
In some forgotten well
As I live out my hell
Of the memories they’ve left behind
To this heart they were not kind
I will bury them…
Once and for all
There is no resurrection call
For the dead bodies of my heart…

Eileen Manassian Ghali


Details | Free verse | |

To a Weeping Willow

"the willows dip
Their pendent boughs, stooping as if to drink." William Cowper

To a Weeping Willow

The graceful, sweeping green
I remember seeing it,
my first weeping willow
 graceful trails of leaves
bending to touch its own reflection
Growing on a creek bank thick with grasses
 I lay there in the soft tufts,
 dreaming, staring up at clouds
watching the zig-zag flitters
of a butterfly.

Now days never seem so long

 
Wherever its pure tapestry reigns
in fragrant gardens, wherever 
they take root; on creek-beds 
sometimes by a charming bridge.
Weeping Willows have become for me
symbols of long peaceful days

I stop to gaze at them in gardens,
in paintings, in books that picture them
my hand lingers on the page

Beside a lacquered pond they still
 touch their own reflections
 with long, whispering  trails 

 Once, in a dream, I saw one
with pallid catkins,
 on a   lonely promontory
 beside a forgotten grave-

 an echo of grieving.

Suzanne Delaney


Details | Free verse | |

Words Unspoken

                                                  Anger shrouds my sorrow,
                                                  a storm rages deep within.
                                                  Questions without answers
                                                  swirl around my mind.
                                                  Damn! this emotional confusion.

                                                  Why the sacrifice?
                                                  Why the trade off?
                                                  Was it loneliness?
                                                  Was it greed?
                                                  Damn! the sadness I cannot feel.

                                                  Did you love me?
                                                  Were you proud of me?
                                                  Did you even care?
                                                  Why didn’t we talk?
                                                  Damn! your legacy of silence.
                                
                                      Rage! Rage! against the death of the light.
                                      I curse the words unspoken, the truth not shed.
                           Why God?...Why?...Why must we part before the heart to heart?  


Details | Free verse | |

Release

Hold onto life, my little leaf,
In spite of pain,
In spite of grief;
And, when the wild winds rape the bough
Till trembling more than now,
You almost lose your grip:
Hold yet to life.

Hold onto life, though brittle brown,
Remains alone of life’s fair gown;
For Spring must come again, I know
And warm your roots ‘neath melting snow;
You cannot give up now:
Hold still to life.

Hold onto life, through life seems past,
And though the lots have all been cast;
For somewhere Summer walks in green
And somewhere Love crowns her queen
Who knew him not below:
Hold on, then, go.


Details | Free verse | |

Pronouncing the Dead

How can you look someone in the eyes and tell them it's the end?
How can you possibly do that without shedding tears?
Or even blinking?
Do you not feel it? That pain, that pain that's taking over
Their soul, as you tell them their life is ending?
Or maybe it's just that you have lost your own soul? 
In that instant when you found out that the greatest part of yourself
Is about to disappear,
That its light was about to be permanently extinguished.
Can't you feel it? That sorrow that slowly shutters their hearts?
Or the fear that's taking over their minds? it's a furious fire,
Cutting off any glimpse of hope with its smog,
That fear, its suffocating their soul into its last gasp.
Can't you see it? How that laughter ends sharply, in pain?
How it breaks in half every time, never to relapse into its fullness?
How the darkness stealthily takes over those, once life-filled, eyes?
That following calm,
It's the call of darkness,
Smoothly enchanting their soul into submissiveness.
Until all is in deadly silence,
Their bodies still, their souls forever gone into unknown.
Do your tears come then? Do you feel their pain then?
Do you see it? Or do you stay the same?
Unchanged, unemotional, shell shocked,
And forever unbelieving still?


Details | Free verse | |

The Center's Footsteps

Thoust message rings,
But it is a wretched beauty.
Sew up thine tongue;
It forks in many directions,
Ensnaring, passing through the centers,
Weaving a thread gleaming, deceivingly white,
Yet drenched in the black goo,
The sticky gobs of our source, our blood.
Cast aside thine needle,
Let time make it blunt.
Wallow in thine sorrow,
But only for a moment.
Up, up with you!
The sticky gobs cannot protect thee.
See me, Hear me.
For I see thee...
Thou hast split thine tongue
To hide, to forget.
Thine forked words, black to all, clear to me.
Go on, go ahead,
Walk through its enveloping black.
And when you cannot run,
Crawl.
And when you can’t do that anymore, 
Find someone to carry you.
Thou art strong!
Let thine center give you new feet!
Yet,
If even thine center falls weary,
I shalt be thine legs.
I shalt carry you, my friend.


Details | Free verse | |

A Sad Song - To My Sister

Pain of your demise
crowds my mind...
Memories of you come alive,
I try not to cry...though
Death, the thief, took you away!

Cynthia



Details | Free verse | |

frantic thoughts

things just arent the same...
with you gone 
its like you were never there
like a ghost...
haunting my mind
haunting my dreams 
its driving me crazy
i sometimes wonder
what it would have been like...
but no...
i dont want to think that
it makes you being gone harder to deal with
every single day is hell
because you left me alone to do this
and i cant...
im not strong without you
it was us...against the world
and you vanished before my eyes
leaving me to fight 
but i cant.
because every single moment of this life is a struggle
you held me up when i was weak
and now im left falling forever in this endless hole of pain...
drowning in my own tears 
wishing you were still here to save me
but youre not...
and im still here.
wondering if you were ever real
or just my minds way of saving me
but you have to have been real
i still feel you beside me 
i still hear your voice...
you have to have been real...

you have to have been real...

were you ever real? 

but where does this leave me. 
stuck here in a trance
trying to make myself believe 
trying to remember what your voice sounded like
trying to remember your smell
trying to remember your laugh
the memories are to vivid. too real.
so thats it then. 
youre just a memory to me.
maybe thats how its meant to be....


Details | Free verse | |

AS Close As Love

                                            As Close AS Love                                                                                   I have listened for the footsteps of the creator                                                                                 To reverberate in the depths of my soul                                                                                         And in the open passages of my heart                                                                                          I have listened for familiar voices                                                                                                   Whispering in the moon light                                                                                                      Dimensions and perceptions I have so longed for                                                                     Are as close as love                                                                                                                         And the mystery of love knows no limits For I to  am a seeker                                                  Moving through this world                                                                                                               Of shadow and light


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Standing on this sun-soaked beach without you,
sea splashes mix with salty tears
that the gentle wind brushes from my cheek.
My toes curl into the soft white sand
as they did whenever you caressed me.

Is it a mistake to return so soon,
whence the last strands of happiness lie?
I blight this place which you once graced,
laying lithe and golden on its shore,
out dazzling the sun with your luster.

Laughter from unknowing revellers offends me
and I fix my gaze to past horizons,
where my passion knew no end,
before this shroud of misery enveloped me, 
In an echo of your pall.

Crisp white sheets filled with fragrant breezes
Glide the distant yachts to quiet harbours
Safe from storms they’ll rest peacefully, like you.
Whilst I remain, marooned in turmoil.
At sea.
At loss.
Alone.


Details | Free verse | |

Walking

Keeping a distance between
     you and me
I don't want any trouble
Why do you still toy with me?
Emotions are a fragile thing
So I want to rip mine out
But since I can't,
      I walk away
And the feelings stay mutual


Details | Free verse | |

Time on and Time off

Time on and Time off

On and off and on again,
That is the carousel of life,
When it spins round and round,
Till the dizzy heads fall off,
Time on and time off,
Till those little girls grow to be old
And discover love,
And they feel so much better than before
With broken hearts,
And cigarette burns on arms
Laying on kitchen floors,
That had just been moped with red blood.
Time on and Time off,
Over and over and over again,
That drunken buffoon has nothing more to do,
But drop dead in his lazy boy chair
And die.
While his girl,
(who once pretty and pure, now dead inside and out)
Brings him his lunch,
And watches her blood drizzly slowly into the stainless steel sink.


Details | Free verse | |

IT'S NOTHING

It's Nothing

In my head
Underneath my bed
It's in the rain
They call me a code red
I am labeled INSANE
He loves me, he said
I'm out of my mind
Doctor I need my mind
Can't go back and rewind
WHY WAS I MISLEAD?
WHY YOU LEFT ME BEHIND?
Everything you said I misread..
Man love is blind
I've completely lost my mind
WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND?
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?
What you did to me is so unkind
It's so unkind
HOW COULD YOU LET  THIS BE?
I may be crazy!!
Very crazy they say..
Seeing I kick myself everyday
You were never real!!
You were never real!!

I stare at the wall
I stand so still
I lose it cause you don't call
Without you I have no will.
Rocking myself side to side
Pulling my hair saying it's not real, 
It's not real!!
Remember with my eyes open wide 
How you took me up that hill
You bounce me like a ball
Then you told me we needed to chill
Then you let me fall
My heart stopped and stood still
Yet my heart has not broken.
IS THIS A JOKE?
It's not for real.
These feelings I can not hide
I still love him so I see no big deal
It's the sane part of me that has died.
I tell you his love for me is real.
His love for me is real.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
         
       SKAT
     10-11-04


Details | Free verse | |

Through the Eyes of A Child

It’s not fair 
But then it never is
All the teachers
All the learning that they got
It couldn't prepare them 
Could it?
It couldn't stop it 
Or halt it
Or even control it?
The whirlwind that is I

All the promises and
All the lies
It was all too much
It was never enough

I tried
They didn’t
The whispers behind my back
The taunts, and jeers;
Even the teachers 
Who are supposed to protect 
and keep order;
Just walk away
Just ignore her
She’ll go away

Yes Mrs. Mother 
Well stop it
Don’t worry

Freak
Vampire
Weirdo
She has coodies
She’s creepy
No one likes you
Go away
No one wants’ to play with a lesbian like you
It would be so much better if she were gone
I wish she would just leave forever

Would it?
Could it?
Was it?
I left
I hide
I never showed my face
But you still;

What did I ever do to you?
What could I have done to you?
I was only ten
Just barely out of childhood really
But I can't really blame you...can i?
No I can't

My only option left
Was silence
Did it make you happy?
Did you smile?
Was all that work
All that cruelty
All that heartache;

Was it worth it?
Did it finally make you feel better?
Like you were better,
More powerful?

Who was your next victim?
Never mind.
Not like it matters
They didn't help them either
I suppose

You can't see
You refuse to see
Just like the teachers
They all failed
Not only me

But you
And
Every
Other
Child
That
Was 
Forgotten,
Lost,
And
Alone.

I hope you all are proud.


Details | Free verse | |

Roots

They came yesterday, early as dawn itself

They came with shovels and trowels

To give protection from the winter

To the rose bushes that you loved

Shortly after lunch I heard Oliver barking

It was his angry bark, his sound of offense

For the worker was digging and exhumed

Your scarf from the tangled roots of roses

 

I gave the scarf to Connie, I remember

She was little then, five or so 

And she visited to ask for something of yours

To keep and remember

When she went home and her mother asked

What she had done at our house

She said, “I just sat on his lap

And helped him cry.”

 

It comes to me now, later she asked 

About the scarf again and I assumed she lost it

But now there was the evidence

Oliver also had a need to remember

And put his souvenir of you

Beneath the bushes you so loved

And the workman held the scarf to me

And I told him, “Put it back.”

 

He comes to me at night

It is his ritual of companionship

Sad-eyed and with mournful whimpering

He comes to my arms and licks my hand

And we are together before the fireplace

Watching shadows dance across the walls

Each remembering the moments that were ours

Each guarding a part of you in the roots of us


Details | Free verse | |

Listen to Me

You never listen
Yes I know it's true
I see you try and deny it
How's that working for you?

I will say one thing
You will hear another
I will try to fix it
The misunderstanding you see

I just got in trouble
(Sigh) I told you so
They never listen to me

They say they do 
And I know they try
But all I want to do is scream
"JUST LISTEN TO ME SOMEONE PLEASE"

All I asked is that you think
What is real?
Do I ever ask this?
Will I ever again?

All I really did
Was ask
For friend

All I want
Is to be free
Free to listen
And free to be me

Sadly though
You'll never see
Just how much your 
Not listening has killed me

I have tried
Really I did
I know that I'm not eighty
I know that I'm not nice
But the only thing I asked 
For was five minutes (at the most) of your life.

I'm sorry that you failed
I'm sorry that I tried but
Mostly I'm just sorry that
I'm not sorry,
Not anymore.


Details | Free verse | |

The wedlock rose

The wedlock rose!

----------------------

If our marriages are made in heavens, why are they broken in this world?

If we tie the knot for life, why so soon nothing is left to be said or heard?

You made me feel like the brightest star, now I'm under the darkest clouds!

My wedding dress with your dying love will be buried in divorce's shrouds!

I think I haven't changed, I am the same charming lady you loved so mad!

You tell me I'm not who you thought I was, how all good in me turned bad?

With you I were dwelling in the skies, in a galaxy of stars with the full moon!

Your change of hearts had me crestfallen, sending me down to this lagoon!

Holding the bouquet of fresh red roses you gave me bending on your knees!

Dropping their petals into water, I'm sending 'em on their separation journeys!

But once they are not the part of the flower, they'll lose their bloom and wither!

Just like we both are now lifeless statues, not the lively souls the way we were!

If only everyone who walks the aisle remembers that the wedlock is like a rose!

With so much fragrance, color and beauty, why'd a few thorns slit sacred vows?

-----------------------

Poetry by Dr. Asghar Nazeer (LinkedIn profile http://sa.linkedin.com/in/drasgharnazeerlinkedinprofile)

Kindly read this poem with a lovely matching photo on LinkedIn pulse at https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/article/20140726171554-167523528-if-only-everyone-who-walks-the-aisle-remembers-that-the-wedlock-is-like-a-rose-with-so-much-fragrance-color-and-beauty-why-d-a-few-thorns-slit and my other 28 poems with similarly captivating pics at LinkedIn main author's page at https://www.linkedin.com/today/author/167523528?_mSplash=1

All my posts are shared through my Facebook community page "Hear those pics Say what clicks" https://www.facebook.com/PicsAndPoets You are most welcome to visit this page as all my posts are public and everyone may tag, share, comment on and like them.

The same posts are also shared publicly and are accessible to everyone through my Google+ page https://plus.google.com/+AsgharNazeer/posts


Details | Free verse | |

You've to live up so never give up

You've to live up so never give up!

-----------------------

Ted Talk by Kevin Briggs: The bridge between suicide and life

http://on.ted.com/q02cv

-----------------------

You may say I can do whatever to myself but your life is not all your own!

You belong to so many others, some known to you and mostly unknown!

Remember those who did you favors you can't repay if for eons you live!

And every moment of that existence, what you owe you continue to give!

Then you can't even guess how many are touched by what you say or do!

You will have to see each living being in the whole world to get some clue!

You were born for a purpose, which your soul cannot rest without fulfilling!

If you give life up midway, you may never be in peace after your own killing!

When you're in a dark despair and feel there's nothing left for you to live for!

Give yourself one day to serve a person who has more sufferings than your!

At the end of the day ask how that mortal is bearing that much burden of life!

You'll choose to go on even if you have to live walking on the edge of a knife!

-------------------------

Poetry by Dr. Asghar Nazeer (LinkedIn profile http://sa.linkedin.com/in/drasgharnazeerlinkedinprofile)

Kindly read this poem with a touching matching photo on LinkedIn pulse at https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/article/20140812215457-167523528-you-ve-to-live-up-so-never-give-up and my other 28 poems with similarly captivating pics at LinkedIn main author's page at https://www.linkedin.com/today/author/167523528?_mSplash=1

All my posts are shared through my Facebook community page "Hear those pics Say what clicks" https://www.facebook.com/PicsAndPoets You are most welcome to visit this page as all my posts are public and everyone may tag, share, comment on and like them.

The same posts are also shared publicly and are accessible to everyone through my Google+ page https://plus.google.com/+AsgharNazeer/posts


Details | Free verse | |

leaving August

        Leaving the last days of August
          memories of the sea waves crashing 
        Tides that leave shells broken to find ~
        
        picnic memories ~
                      fireworks night 
                             Birthday cakes sparkle ~

    sunburns under a sage kissed dessert Moonlight 
         The Summer reminds us of happier days
             scents of coconut oil and lime 
        
            reminds us all of what is yet to come ~
              
              The rain comes down hard
          crying for all souls lost and left behind

             The birds fly in perfect form 
           reminding all of the September storm 
             
           begging for history not to repeat ~
 
                 ~   In war 
                        no wins 
                            only defeat ~
 
            two beams of light straight to the Heavens   
                stay through the whole month of September
                   they remind us to listen silently we stand still 
          
          For the city lives and breaths left with loss 
                    many questions unanswered remain ~
                  
               Leaving behind August
                    entering Septembers fears ~
               
                          
                             



 I love this poem because it reflects on the past and the coming month in remembrance of history that took place September 11th 2001. In a way it is a oxymoron . from passionate summer nights to the fear embraced in the month coming :)

                    



Details | Free verse | |

20 Innocent Souls

Where was the Holy Spirit that day..
20 innocent souls pushed over to the hands of Angels
Where was the Holy Spirit that day..
That day we face the tragedy, when will we ever see changes

He left us here on Earth to sort our own mess out
Why did He do that when its clear that were not capeable
In a desperate heart grief that goes beyond any doubt
Facing the devil in human flesh..their fate was inescapable

Where are these young victims today..
20 innocent souls ripped out of the hands of their loving parents
Who’s going to sing their lullaby tonight..
Stolen away from their families their fate now rests in the arms of angels



* God be with the victims, their families and survivors of this meaningless massacre


A.Ertsland
December 16th 2012


Details | Free verse | |

What Is Grief


 Grief can be many things.
 Losing some of their nearest
 A father, mother, sister, brother, or his own child
 A while back, death was taboo
 We did not talk about it
 Grief you should wear alone
 We are all different,
 providing each our way
 Different cultures and ways of life
 We have become a little more open in our grief
 share our grief with others.
 if we share our grief,
 it becomes a little easier to bear
 But it is still there,
 you as a fellow human
 dare to hug not turn youself away
 even though other cries
 Rather wipe the tear away







 * Four weeks ago disappeared a 16 year old girl here in Norway,
    No trace of her ...
    Major exploration crew every day.
    Yesterday they found her ..... dead - killed.
    For a grieving family must bear.
    Such things happen every day






  



04. September 2012
A-L Andresen :)


Details | Free verse | |

A Grandmother's legacy

Warming lights surround you
Quilting the sharp silence
Outside dawn begins
Earth starts stretching 
Straightening out the knots
Caught from hours of slumber
Night moves on to blacken another sky
And Calmness stills the room
All is as it should be

As you drift in an endless sleep
I know not if you'll wake
Or lay your eyes on me once 
more
Softening my heavy heart
As death appears, he waits by 
your side
Head dipped in respect
White and gold robes I study of him
I beg him for more time
An hour, a day, a second 
His comforting eyes say no
It is your time and my heart stills
Now I must let you go

Aged hands under silken skin
Once tended plants and raised children
Loose their warmth
A last breath escapes your 
lungs
I look at death pleadingly 
But nothing can be done
I have to let you go now
You must do this alone

Death picks up your soul up as 
an orb
Glittering like a large diamond
To ferry you to your kin
I see them through the void 
I see them waiting

never again will we sit on the 
porch
As dew wakes up the grass
Trees shacking off the night before
Us, just being us
I'd soak up your wisdom
That resided in your soul
Every snippet a precious gem to me
Id bury them within
Where no other could reach them
Where no other could steal them

I show no tears
As they only fuel pain
From a young age
You taught me to be brave
Knowing my life would shatter 
me
Often I'd feel pain
So your compassion carried me
Over potholes and rocky paths
Your soothing voice steadied 
me
Till I made it safely past

Now Laying out your body
Ready for your last journey
I wonder if I told you enough
The love I have for you
I was blessed everyday 
You were in my life
Things seemed easier 
With you at my side 
Life was not so daunting
The hill was not so steep
Now you gone I'm shattered
Watching an endless sleep

Time with you was precious
For this truth I smile 
The mirror reflects parts of you 
Placed in this heart of mine
Happy you left peacefully 
And I was at your side
Inner gladness reigns 
As not just your jam recipe
Was handed down to me


Details | Free verse | |

A Sisters Tears

Broken hearts
Black as tar
A sister’s love burned away
Forever replaced with irreversible hate

Reach for light before the night forever takes
Your soul away
Fight the night, seek the light
Sisters’ love
Can be an unbreakable bond

A soul slowly baptized
In Lucifer’s detestation 
Chipped away until only the shell remains

Once sisters bathing in the rays of life
Separated, in pain, for losing the way
One sister reaching for the other
The other sister stretching her hand down

Down into the very depths of hell
Were Lucifer holds her very soul
And basks in the very pain
He so easily created

Lucifer prince of pain
King of darkness
Walks among the broken hearts
Seeping in his blackened tar
Until the shell is all you see
And the soul is but a memory


Details | Free verse | |

The Autumn Affect

There's something unspecific about the autumn nights
A certain shade of color that uplifts my inner child's eyes
Beside a cashmere moon Venus and Jupiter shine bright
Complimented by a sea of blinking infinite twilight
The scent of burning oak lingers in the air from home made fires
Reminiscent of a time when this man was just a child
Careless and so free to dream and any dream to live
Like feathers floating across a field carried by the wind
As a gentle breeze blows through the leaves shivering delightful gloom
Unlike flowers of springtime the disheveled autumn vibrance bloom
Leaves crackle beneath my feet along the skeleton tree path
Where I try to find my peace or a song to make me laugh
The air is so much crisper and also soothing when I breathe it in
Underneath a starry sky and brighter constellations of Heaven
Amidst the trail I pass a lovely couple holding hands
While their children run aside frolicking in a playful dance
An old man and his wife admire the view from a wooden bench 
With smiles on their face as if nostalgia is still their closest friend
Its these specific autumn affects that bring me sorrows and joy
Reminding me of all theses things Ive wanted as a man since I was a little boy 
Its times like these that I wish I wasn't always so alone
Because I would light an fire with my family and call it home


Details | Free verse | |

WHEN NATURE DIES

Pioneers had to cut down thousands of trees
to build their shacks and to stay warm
in harsh winters; we cut them down
for huge profits...not caring about 
the devastation of deforestation
that soon will cause floods and landslides.


When Nature dies, everything that embellishes
the lovely and green landscapes dies with it;
a land without shrubs and trees is a desert
with miles of cracked soil that rain won't saturate
and make vegetation grow to attract humans,
fauna and flora to make everything lively. 


I have used my keen sight to describe it,
and instinct to anticipate the dreariness to come;
doesn't joy derive from something grown,
and beauty from something seen and admired? 
But where's the commitment that all should make
to keep our land a Paradise for everyone to enjoy?  


We should profoundly lament when Nature dies from neglect
and abuse...hear the sorrowful cries of fowls and wolves,
of other animals that used to roam and graze
on prairies and wild meadows on breezy days;
and how can we survive without the crops 
in due season? Won't we perish and disappear like Nature? 

 
  




Details | Free verse | |

Final Adieu

Final Adieu

Let another sun set,
Let another flower wilt,
Let another autumn cast its gloom,
Let another tear role,
As ye part, and bid
The final adieu.

Suyash Saxena
St. Stephen’s college


Details | Free verse | |

THE LAST STAND

THE LAST STAND

Where have all my people gone, the Navaho, Lakota, and the Sue.
Smothered beneath the white man blanket,
Chocking for a breath of airs life's sustaining oxygen.
The beating heart of native drums, are stilled frozen,
In the middle of it's rhythmic thumping, no pulses echo,
Can be heard on the open plain.
The weeping women kneel on sacred ground, shedding
A river of bloods tears, burning a permanent scare across,
A baron landscape.
Death's black raven shields itself, under it's crimson soaked wing,
Against shames immoral injustice. 
Greed's unsatisfiable hunger for land and riches fuels lusts desire,
Behold exterminations nay holocaust of the native inhabitance,
  Nothing remains alive except ignorance blackened shadow.
How much blood can mother earth be forced to drink before,
She drowns herself or spits up everything undigested,
 With sheer disdain and hatreds malice intent.
On a black and white chess board the winners takes it all,
Strategies grand masters playing with living pawns.
Treaties written in vanishing ink, promises disappear in thin air,
 Revealing a liars sharpened tongue.
The odds have always been stacked against those believing in fairness.
A rogue tidal wave of humanity has wiped out a nation,
And it's culture within the blink of an eye.
Flights appendages are clipped on the dove of peace, leaving it
Unable to soar above it's own habitat.
Wreckage’s refugees stumble in the ruins after math,
Rapes victims of civilizations civilized,
Are left devoid of their heritages lineage and legacy.
Elders chieftains representatives of a great nation,
Smoke peace pipes in the white mans hunting lodge
In Washington.
As human beings are hauled like cattle's cargo,
Taken to reservations burial grounds. 
Ancient ancestors lit up the heaven's vast expanse,
 By torches flame,
To guide the souls of the dead unto their great spiritual
 Plain beyond.
The pale horse gallops forward without a rider,
And the red people become a phantom tribe vanishing
 Upon the winds shifting tides.
Giving one last final trible battle war cry, 
Why my father but the great spirit answers not.
Behold America's legacy, a world trampled beneath
It's heavy iron fist, all in the name of progress or for the cause
Of Manifest destiny.

BY: CHERYL ANNA DUNN


Details | Free verse | |

Sweet child of mine

The stars they used to bring tears to my eyes
Dark skies, I cried as I prayed for daylight
You were my fragment of pain
I became swallowed in memorys of darkness
That used to come and go so haunting, the loss of you
Still is killing me, for you were gone so suddenly..

My first child
My first love
Now all I have left
Are the stars above
Not to mention
The glow of the moon
That always reminds me
That you were taken too soon
Tears fall down my cheeks
When your name is spoken, that's when 
These demons become awoken
The heartbreak
The despair
Losing your child
Is too much to bear
Sleepless nights
Dreams full of terror
Seeing the pain in your eyes
Everytime you look in the mirror

I can look at the stars now
With hope, instead of pain
You my child, did not die in vain
You will live through me, glow bright star
Glow.. Glow for me
And for all of 
The mommys to see
Be my guidance, keep me from the ledge
To you child, this I pledge:

I see your glow and I can now smile
Though I might shed a tear every once and a while
Just because, I'm missing you
But I promise I will pull through

Thank you spirits
Thank you stars
For welcoming my child
With open arms
Keep him safe
Give him love
And let him know I am with him
Everytime I look above..


Details | Free verse | |

A Goodbye from All of Us

From that day to the next week, snow, rain and sleet -no sun.
Everything surrounding us is black,
Precious presents become precious past
Blurred cloudy water filling our vision
All together we grip, holding tight to memories taken,
Memories that have become dreams at night and haunt are days.
Were you ever here, my friend?
We whisper what could have been.


Details | Free verse | |

Glisten in the Moonlight

Your glorious emerald eyes 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Glisten in the moonlight 
Delight dances in the water
I watch it joyfully
You are set free from the cage...
You're like a dove soaring in the sky
You are the rain...
drizzling down in ecstasy 
A hint of ecstasy is shown in your reflection...
When you caress me... I'm relieved... 
From the stress that forced me in chains
I knew we'd be on the brighter side of tomorrow 
We're glistening in the moonlight 
I knew we'd become candles in the heavens above us
We're glistening in the moonlight
For a moment, I felt your presence...your radiant with sympathy 
I saw at first glance the dark side of you
Tonight, we'll be together and fly through the horizon 
We'll watch the sunset say its last goodbye...
We'll wave a greeting at the moon! 
We glisten in the moonlight...
What if I was as handsome as the lion...
Roaring with pride and pure courage
What if we were glistening in the moonlight?
Would it bring health to our bones tonight?
Would it make our heart rejoice and overflow with delight?
Would we be able to survive this horrifying plight?
Would we be shimmering like a candlelight?
We're glistening in the moonlight... (6)
Ohh...yeah...ooh yeah...ooh yeahh...
We reach to the stars and hope we can trace a shooting star
I feel the coolness run down my fingers...
We're glistening in the moonlight
You're the dandelions in the fields
You're the gorgeous view that I marvel at everyday
When you kiss me, I live my dreams
We glisten in the moonlight
In a quick moment, I sense a feeling of endless renewal 
I roam inside of your illuminating maze 
Glow on... sunshine... 
Glow on...sunshine...
Glisten in the moonlight...
Listen to the truth and rub it in
You are ravishing like the sunset
But you're ascending while I'm descending
I feel extremely guilty
I wish I could glisten with you in the moonlight
You're glistening in the moonlight (6) 
Ohhh yeahh... oohhh yeahh... ohh yeahh
You're glistening in the moonlight (4)
We go our own way
I wish we can glisten like the moon
Glisten like the sun 
There's a dream concealed inside of me...
Reveal your light and pour it upon me
You glisten in the appealing moonlight
While I'm subsiding... you're fulfilling your dreams
Of gliding across the horizon 
You're independence... keeps on scorching with satisfaction
While I'm below you... 
Your emerald green eyes
Stared me down like a hawk...
Your emerald eyes
Gaze down at me genuinely...
I wish we could flee together in reality...
That could be a possibility
To glisten in the moonlight in glee
We were glistening in the moonlight (3)
But that was only a dream...
I'll pray that it turns into a reality
We were glistening in the moonlight 
Now, I've misplaced my delight...
Will I ever experience such a brilliant night?


Details | Free verse | |

My Future Generation

I can act insane
But DO NOT 
Make me feel worthless

I belong in God’s family
He will bless my future generation

Don’t punish me for
Being myself –
Don’t envy my glee 

I can act like an
Adult, but I’d 
Prefer to have joy…

Not stress…
That piles upon us in our 
Everyday lives

Being childlike is

A rare beauty – 

No one prizes it…

No one came across it…

In this lifetime…

I can laugh all day
I can make you smile
If you’d accept my 
Childlike dreams of mine
Don’t treat me like a sick swine

Renew my young heart
Give me the ability 
To kill the old man…

I have my place in God’s family
He’ll be adored and glorified 
We’ll exchange prayers and hugs  
By my future generation

I beg of you – 
Don’t kill my childlike mentality
I’ll behave myself…
I’m positively sure that I’ll make you happy

I’ll still have pieces of a child in me

And pass it on to my future generation…


Details | Free verse | |

Only in You

Through the lonely woods, I may head,

Upon the autumn leaves, I may tread,

At the secluded horizon, I may stare,

And only you, I may see,

In those symphonies of silence,

In those melodies of calmness,

In those euphonies of quietness.

 

By the silent lake, I may lay,

Till the twilight fades, I may stay,

Then in reclusive silence, I may walk,

And only to you, I may talk,

Through those toungueless emotions,

Through those wordless attachments,

Through those voiceless sentiments.

 

In the lone meadow, I may wander,

Along the untrodden paths, I may waver,

In companionless seclusion, I may hide,

And only in you, I may find,

The depths of oneness,

The bonds of togetherness,

The cozy feel of coalescence.

 

In the wilderness of emotions, I may die,

At the merciless daggering, I may sigh,

Through a million wounds, I may bleed,

And only in you, I may seek,

The balm of love,

The warmth of affection,

The heal of inseparability.


Details | Free verse | |

The Door to Forever

We exchanged harsh words
Harsh words over nothing, nothing at all
Harsh words over something long forgotten
Harsh words which are so critical
so critical now to recall and to relive
over and over again…

You were ready to drop the matter
You were ready to relent and apologize
I was not ready to drop the matter
I was not ready to relent and apologize

You were the adult, I was the child
I reversed the roles, you reversed them back
You offered your hand, I refused your hand
I refused and let you walk out that door

Yes, I let you walk out that door
That front door, that door to forever

the last time I didn't talk to you
the last time I didn't say I love you
the last time I saw you
the last time I saw you alive…

 


Details | Free verse | |

Giving In To The Gray

Overwhelmed with fear I whispered into the rain
Disarming defenses, Giving in to the gray 
Tearing down all of my shelter within my hollowed decay
While this echoing silence gave every tear drop a name
They begin filling the voids with mundane hopes for a change
Heaven will save me from this hell and blue skies will reign
Lazily lay in green grass watching clouds drift away
It's all but a deflated dream now that the colors have changed
My thoughts have become restless noise of uncertainties rearranged
Damning all of my emotions, lies decorated with grace
Now I stand with a hardened heart in the sobering autumn rain 
I'm disarmed and defenseless, Giving in to the gray


Details | Free verse | |

Sad Lines By The Sea

The screaming sadness invades me Echoes of boundless despair Snaking through my heart Withdraws a thousand tears. Defeat encamps within my eyes When the embers of dreaded thoughts Disarms swift my sturdy joy In autumn's silence by the wavering sea. I hate that rotten stench that lingers The shattering dreams The wreckage of deserted love The stinking bitter wine of hate The black shrouded whispers of foes Storming through my life With love's savage deceit. The blistering days By the shorelines of death Drawing the first cold strands of grief. I lay in the empty highways of hopelessness Then the skies would descend Choking my last strand of breath On this weary loveless earth. Like a dog I crawl In moss and in the lifeless dirt With discreet pain Toiling through my veins. When the quivering stars of night Would break asunder!


Details | Free verse | |

Mind Bender

I try to bend my mind around a straight line.
Pondering the lies imbedded in yesterdays truths.
False prophets, masquerading on wisdoms mountain.
"come taste our wares"
I become intoxicated on prides pie.
Tasting success's exstinction.
Lives forsaken,
sacrificed on alters of progress.
Beads of glass breaking in upturned palms
whispers from the fallen,
not allowed to cry out.
The language of their ancestors,
silenced, 
erased.
What's left?
Is there any trace?

Oil drips along insanities highway.
Multitudes traveling gleefully in the passing lane,
destination... nowhere fast.
munching on fastfood promises
Heading towards a toothpick bridge,
trusting facades of solidity.
Smiling plastic smiles.
Turning the radio dial,
tuned to stations extolling self pride.
God complex.
"All things are possible if I believe in me!"
Living the dream,
suspended within stupidity.
Unable to bend twisted minds.
Failing to seek the straight and narrow path.
The end of us,
no muss, no fuss.
Time stands still.
Momentary pause.
The earth waits, 
catches it's breath.
Abrahams Father, 
presses restart...



Details | Free verse | |

Whistle

Running, after more than you, can hold.
Taking, someone else’s love, and leaving.
Children are fearful of what they’re told.

Can’t you see I’m the one who’s freezing?
I was just a child with a trinket 
Never knowing that it’d be, more to me

When you were gone to, too far, from me.
Steady with your hands close to my heart
Never letting our world’s tear us apart

I know, your icicles 
I miss the beaches that we played on
You missed the child in your own eyes

Now you’re gone, 
But I’m still not here.
Why can’t you wake up 

I’m not ready
Please, just take your time, don’t leave now
I can’t fight this world alone.


Details | Free verse | |

Whisper's

                                      WHISPER’S

April rain fell like whispers on grass,
Soft and light like a half felt apology.
Dark clouds wafted overhead in shamed silence.
Distressed by a cold winter’s return. 
Daffodils wept and bowed in fading despair,
My Father’s favourite plant was slipping away. 
As my Father had done and now my Mother too
Lost to a world of cold whispers and sorrow. 

Dead flowers I had placed on their grave so light
Were fading like a memory, a star un-bright.

Still the rain whispered but failed to cleanse,
The grit of sorrow that inhabits my heart.


Details | Free verse | |

Victorian poverty crime and squalor

Born into a life of poverty crime and squalor
where hunger and cold winds bite
and disease is rife
and it was a daily battle to stay alive
and find some food to stay alive.

Uneducated illiterate caught in the poverty trap
drinking polluted water
from the same polluted cholera riddled tap.

An impoverished woman
sells her body for a cheap bottle of Gin
and a lodging for the night
while a pickpocket and mutcher
ever watchful
look for a pocket to alight.

The deafening clunk and clatter
of horses and carts on the cobbled ground
and shouts from the street market traders
echo all around.

Children play and run through the narrow
crowded streets
dressed in rags no shoes upon their feet
The putrid stench from the gutter
and thick choking bellowing
smoke from factories
make one heath and make it hard to breath.

Dilapidated hovels and buildings
covered in black soot
horse manure and raw sewage 
under foot.

Beggars with large mournful eyes
reach out pleadingly to the passing gentry
to fill their empty bowls with plenty.

A peeler pins a notice of a forthcoming hanging
at the local Gaol for the few who can read
upon a rusty nail.

A  Mother desperate to feed her hungry children
steals a loaf of bread from a market stall
but is soon captured  in the sprawl.

The judge sentences her to 10 years
penal servitude far over sea in Botany bay
but she dyes aboard the ship of fever
upon the way.

Her 9 children are sent to the workhouse
for the poor to gain some education
and work hard behind it's hellish door
never to see their Mother or escape poverty
ever more.


Peter Dome.copyright.2012.


Details | Free verse | |

THE HAUNTING

Entombed behind isolation walled
 Prison,
A haunting malice trapped me within.
Crouching beneath shadows shroud,
 Leering eyes pierce.
Through darkness’s pitch black,
 Covenant.
Pacing beast intercepting motions,
 Movements, mocking my,
Feeble attempts to evade frenzy's,
 Tormentor.
Deceptions deceiver, silver tongued, 
Weaver, spewing lies deceit.
Intricately aligning it's widow,
 Makers webbing,
Feasting on innocence betrayal.
Heckling, laughter echoes, against,
 Dead reckoning.
A chilling appetizing, as if pleased,
 At malice’s intent.
Fiendishly, delighting in torturing,
It’s human pet.
A vacant mumbling feeling over,
 Comes reasoning,
A deeper anger begins to rage,
Rebelling against hatred’s,
Horrifying entity.
Motivated to survive beyond spectral,
 Captivity.
Hear my disgust, creature,
 I shall destroy thee.
Leave me alone, screaming aloud,
 Sanity's domain gives way.
In musty halls empty hollows,
 An odorous stench.
Fills mine senses,
Cease mortal miscreant,
 None leave here alive,
Shudders blood runs cold down raw
 Veins nerve endings,
A deepening realizations rushes,
 The conscious mind,
I'm deaths play thing.
To be pounced upon, a toy mouse,
 Caught between claws,
Extracting, retracting at whims invoking.
Invisible hands grasp choking life's,
 Breath away.
Feeling every heartbeat slowing,
 Quietly ceasing.
Stinging painfully ringing at ear, 
Shots quivering,
Oblivion's mute murmurs never part,
Lips tightly closed.
Let mercy's fallen be forgiven,
 Released from,
Beyond hells hidden regions,
A place devoid of spiritual salvation.
Foul demonic spirit haunting,
 A madman's kingdom,
It whispers to me in sweet melodies,
 Aftershock.
Now we begin, and you truly belong to me,
With satisfactions grimace, it smiles.

BY: CHERYL ANNA DUNN


Details | Free verse | |

Words of Life

Drowning in the pool of anguish…oh…oh…
I’m venturing into the forest…and I want to hear the words seep out 
Release these aching sorrows…I worry my soul’s drying out…
like a drought…
Drain out the fluids from my heart
It’s gouging me…bruising me to the core…

**chorus** 
Embrace the light…embrace the midnight sky…
You fall in my arms – you die so warm
Shed me more sun to lift up my spirits
From the…underground…and release me – I’m breathless
I’m drowning in doubt…ooh… oh… 


Remember me…I’m falling…into my swirling fate…hanging on the roots 
Strangling my heart…distorting in my veins… I’m bleeding so softly – cut out the wood…
Splintering me…I’m shattering… and I’m falling in the abyss
Bring me more radiance from my candle light
Warp me up in bliss…don’t let the midnight sky…don’t take away my delight
From the…ocean…and save me—save me…oh… oh…  I’m failing 

*chorus*

I’m drowning in regret…ooh..oh…
Hit the bull’s eye in my heart…embrace the light
And don’t leave me hanging in the abyss…hand me a kite!
Save me before I fall apart…shut out the night
And don’t let the dusk escape us…

I must confess…
I must confess…
I hate to see you abandon the light…
But I’m not the one to save you from the night
Ooh…ohh…

*Chorus* 

Splintering lies fill your heart 
I want to kiss it goodbye…
But you’ve mastered it like a piece of art
I want to kiss the abyss and die…
Dry… I wanna touch the sky with my whole soul
But I’m failing and the end of time has taken its toll
Tainted sorrow…swims around me…I dwell where the waters depart
But the anguish still swarms in my heart…
I’m failing…my heart stops beating
And my desires are fleeting
From my grasp
And the monsters laugh at me…as I fall… 

*chorus*

Embrace the midnight sky…catch me…catch me…
As I fall in death’s arms…I die so cold
And your heart is made of gold

Untangle the darkness & take away the nightmares 
Answer our prayers & block out the night 
Erase the heartaches & wipe away our tears
Unravel Your words of life & delight


Details | Free verse | |

Parasitic Life Form

It‘s alive!
A life form 
Thriving on hatred
Reaped from societies
Greatest blunder 
Like lighting
Follows thunder  
We are following our ancestors 
Reproducing civilization   
Mistake 
Disregard the fact
That we are all human
our blood is red
I smirk when I’m contented 
And shed tears when I’m poignant
We are all equal
cease  this schism 
And trounce racism


Details | Free verse | |

My Gift

Meddlesome acknowledgement was my gift to many
I wondered where the nutrients were coming from
I was absorbing your words, parched by my own dimming light-years
There I was stunned by the legion of black-faced martyrs

Exasperation of the undeniable misunderstanding of every conceivable word 
Left me with another path onto death
And not nearly dying, but regenerating in technological, factorial woe
Demon thoughts squeezed bile from the brim of subconscious drivel  
Accelerating the ghouls from the gull of my esophagus 

I was held down from the dreams of the fortnight
From words of architecture ascending from the brims of the archangels 
Eyes remained closed
And I felt the actual descent of my downfall
I did not open my eyes at all

I did not mean to pry into your life, oh beautiful soul
Please accept my gift today
My fierce gaze into your lavishing grail
Led me to accept and love where I often fail
I am no longer smothered in your intricate designs
Though I am surely small to you
Though I feel only a fraction of a fool
I am the hidden spark under the timbers of lies

I am the hidden spark under the timbers of lies


Details | Free verse | |

Good Morning Doctor Death

Waking up five in the morning,
and looking the dawn's sun rise,
to start the day with a yawn and strech.
Smell the morning dew,
as you go and retrive the morning newspaper,
filled with tablots of lives more intresting than yours.

You wave to your hand to your neighbor,
who you don't like, still you say, "hi"
Why?
It's just the nature of the human being.
You turn and go inside,
you feel some pain on your leftside.
All those milkshakes and hamburgers
caught up to you.
What do you do?
Not much, you can do now,
You fall to the ground, clenching your chest;
you call out for help, but no one comes.
You see your neightbor, but he doesn't mind.
See he hated you as well, like you hated him,
and he is glad to see you fall to your
knees and beg for Mercy.

Oh no! here he comes,
Doctor Death, no not Jack Kavorkian,
No! the big cheese,
the Creature that prays on black souls,
just like yours.
Doctor Death come on down! Come and clam your prize!
Good morning Doctor Death! I'm ready,
Are you?


Details | Free verse | |

left alone

           
         
         Now I am left alone with tears ~

         with all shared may sadness cease
         the darkness of loss as fears increase
         your heart wants to hold on for hope
        

          losing the one expected never ready 
           going through acceptance you think
          until time stands still and life does cease 
       
           Now I am left alone with tears ~
            
          every thought now to late to speak
            all you thought you knew you didn't
          when death comes swift no real preparation

         How long will this hurt one can only wonder 
          The tears fall hard , the tears fall alone    
           saying goodbye forever your gone .
               
           
          

          


Details | Free verse | |

Unnaturally Natural

Sobbing , weeping he slept that night,
Heavy on his heart,
Pain inside.

Rose up from the slumber,
Heavy fog clouding his eyes,
Dense and denser it grew,
And feeble eyes lost all hope to preview.

Creeping on anxiety, agony and shame,
Society looking at them as people insane.

Understanding their pain is not what they expect,
Just a longing for acceptance , love and respect.

Paralysed they are by the society,
Crunched in the game of hierarchy.

Broad in thinking  you  say,
Lack the guts to discuss sex any way.

Unnatural act and thus illegal,
Do you even know the syllable of this evil !!

Pornography or Dignity, what is it ?
The fickleness of your mind is still uplift.

Blacking them out,
Is this the solution ?
Or ending their bumpy journey,
Is this that will bring the evolution ??



Details | Free verse | |

It's the evening

Windows wide open on the Oxygen of grief ..
And flowers of the depression on the table of silent  ..
It's the evening!!


Details | Free verse | |

Scar Tissue

Oh, the wounds, the gaping wounds
The wounds that never truly heal
Merely self-sutured, leaving jagged scars
left to swell, ooze and re-infect
A temporary stop-gap, a leaking dam
built to hold back the raging river of pain...

Oh, would that the scars would explode,
burst open and gush out
Gush out in primal fury,
leaving me helpless and drained
Helpless and drained before the Almighty
who is able not to simply close and smooth them over,
but who is able to brutally and lovingly rip them loose
Oh yes, He is able and willing; if I am willing...

(Partly inspired by events spanning the last 13 years)



Details | Free verse | |

Inside this Corset Made of Steel

Five excruciating months I’ve spent inside this corset made of steel. It binds the soul beneath my broken column. See me standing here naked before this bleak and arid landscape, fissured like the furrows of this barren yellow plain on which a child to call my own will never play. See my flesh impaled by nails. From head to toe they travel down my body. See the largest nail. It pricks that part of me from whence my love flowed freely for the one man I adored. . . See my chest, which houses the heart that he has pierced again and again and again. See my tears, white against my sullen face. Only you who know true heartbreak can feel the anguish painted in my eyes. My body I laid bare to help you see inside me, but how can someone paint the sorrowed soul? Five excruciating months I’ve spent inside this corset made of steel. It’s only an extension of my entire life’s ordeal. Though it’s meant to heal me, it is but a constant cruel reminder that pain is my companion Ever more. (See the painting "The Broken Column" at the poetry contest page of Cyndi Macmillan.) For the Women who Paint Contest Series: FRIDA KAHLO in FREE VERSE


Details | Free verse | |

Head of the Class

My heart sank
That buttery sweet voice
summoning me to the front of the class
I stood there chalk in hand
shoulders slumped
The question you asked
for the answer you knew
You chose not to teach
rather to embarrass
I was not a welcome guest
Hallowed halls of learning not my home
I stared emotionless
blackboard covered in dust
Laughter filled the room
Still I could shrink no further
oh how I wished to disappear
You called on one of the special ones
perfect clothing
perfect smile
a joy to behold
She removed the burden from my hand
I returned to my place of shame
sitting at the head of the class


Details | Free verse | |

The Man With No Face

Hark!  It is he!
A slate face; devoid!
Mechanical, computing, sleepless.

No! Just human!
Turning, just turning!
He will not fall, now expressionless.

The dark gazeth!
Yet, he wont gaze back!
Four days, sleepless, faceless, for all!

His face is stone.
No care, there's no care!
Persist amidst all of the loss.

It is but he!
No! Tireless;
designed to be.
It is but he!

Shrug the abyss,
he will nev'r fail;
a perfection, 
designed to be. 
Shrug the abyss.

Through it all,
he leaveth none for all!
To see the end of it all,
the completion of it all!
None but all.

Four days sleepless,
it is none but he!
Faceless, breathless, mechanized.

Look! See him now!
With bags under eyes.
See him now, the man with no face.

It is he,
Be it so! Be it so!
To see the end of it;
the destruction of it all!
It is he.


Details | Free verse | |

Maybe the Guff was empty, cancer full moon eclipse

Maybe the guff was empty—Cancer full moon eclipse

Left field call on the black wall phone
faint cry from the distant end
spoke with throat lump of capital
disaster and a troddened womans most
everydom—lost before found—somehow Jan
knew and put forth a celestial no comment with 
I-hope-I-am-wrong-love gesture for the
love torn bull awaiting a cancerfold friend
offspring no spring-perhaps next spring. Anna
soild Anna so poised of classic stock sometimes
never bending to an antiflexible Taurus mood
was caught in a never place,  why of questions-
depleted character strikes. Will the blood
hordes rally for the fallen “fetalrade” and
heal the internal emohurt temperature 
inferno of unknown bliss. Does it ever come
at the right instant? Like where’s a cop when
you really need one—maybe 7-11 therapy would 
bring solice and peace. Forgive the forgiver
and pass your sense into another ability
Keep your mind and your soul for the little 
lost egg. I don’t know know or could never compromise 
no more of a complex juxtaposition of life
and death than that of biobeings so
closely connected that share the same
existance, one within-one yet
percent infinity bonded in a tidewater
liquid symbiosis that no manbeing in time
past or future will hope to match let alone
entertain. Be that as it may, you’ve felt the
sting of life and the creation of flesh for a brief
moment of time in time   and time is that holder of all
events we hope to achieve—your time in both
will come to be—you will share
and create from within, and not waiver
about the fallbacks we run down for
no explanations from anyone will suffice
or reason to make a whole sense of such
a fathomless inconsistency. I felt your
loss deep in my knees and thoughts flew
to your little soul upstairs. There are words
and there are no words—my deepest senses
to you and Dana—I know it will happen for you
as all things come to pass for those deserving                          dave collins


Details | Free verse | |

Human Nature

When chaos brings civilization to its knees 
From world wide pandemic critical disease
Or when a tsunami consumes everything beyond the shores
Swallowing the landscape and changing life as we know
Earthquakes shake the very foundation of this world
Or an astroid penetrates the cradle of birth
Bring us back to the primitive unleashing the truth
From the umbilical chord we are more ferocious than rabid wolves
And we will kill fellow man just to survive
Or just for the desire of taking ones life
What is compassion but a dead corpse on the road
Adrenalized by fear no time for sorrows
No need to worry about a world war zombie apocalypse 
We're already flesh eating monsters wearing dead skin
Most people panic when they lose internet or their lights
Autonomy is just a word most people can no longer define
And your money isnt worth *****so forget trying to buy
Your way out of cleansing while you run out of time
So learn to die well and hold your loved ones real tight
As you pray that your death will let you ascend to new heights
Beans, bullets, and bandaids are all that I'll need 
To keep population zero from taking over me
**** being hopeful could we really be so naive
To think that in these days we could some how find peace
When our mother earth gets restless and releases all of her worst
The only thing more destructive is our human nature


Details | Free verse | |

Silence's Shout

Silence’s Shout

My bones are poisoned by the thirsty soul
Darkness is added for the busy mind covered by the emptiness
Soak by choke to inhale the breath 
Silence alarms the quietness to explode
Lifting my spirit to create chaos
But the conscience counts the beat of my veins every part…

I see N and O every time I step my feet in the gate
The house of refining sin with the anointed sounds invites my presence
Meet the cleaned hands but not at all
‘cause the trouble wakes up the inner story 
From the place hits slowly the strength to feeble

My left is mocking to my weak faith
Yes my right!
Dance suicidal pointing out my fellows quite innocently assassin
Looking innocently but the hallo of an angel is lost!

Huh!

Hence, I look grotesque in their eyes 
Criticizing out of their deeds yet unknown
For them the red flag is mine
Talking without knowing the root from the trees 
Various fruits are made in one family

Yell quietly!

Keen the knife!

Promulgate your inner to naïve!

Take your pride, use your power!

Make me nude unconnected sister!

Finally, the mask is over
Your slimy tongue made you in trouble
The words that you spread to the thirsty ears
Hence, you are thirsty for a little drop of attention

Everybody heard your moaning cry 
'coz you sow rock heart
To tame your chaotic consciousness 
You put others into hot spot
Feel your burned spirit
With the gnashing teeth

Tell me!
How far our gap? How long your thread?
Yes I know how lofty you are!
Maybe by your profession but not as us, maturity's under control!


Details | Free verse | |

Melancholy Memory

                                     Hundreds of eyes saw
                                 the sacrifice you'd made
                                    Back from the eon days, 
                                          the anguish

                                    You let them stamp you
                                 by words and harmful deeds
                                    They mocked you totally 
                                           by fullest

                                       I recalled the last, 
                                  the last word that you said
                                     "Mom is here loving you" 
                                          with a smile

                                       Opening your fist
                                     It made us in trouble
                                    We all hugged you tightly
                                           with deep cry!

                                     Nothing more to say
                                 but giving thanks for you
                                  The days that you were here
                                         God blessed you!


                          
                                        5-6-6-3 SYLLABLES


Details | Free verse | |

The Box by the Bed

though it has been five and twelve years
and you are both now tucked safely deep
in unfathomed depths of unconscious
at times you still invade troubled dreams

writhing and wrestling and sweating cold
no-no-no-what-why-where-have-you-gone
bolting upright, jolting half wide awake 
to see it placed carefully at arms' length

a trembling, fumbling hand reaches out 
to grab hold and blow away memory…

Craig's contest


Details | Free verse | |

Peace

How queer the color of viscera
squarely foreign in my breast
To be the butcher and grim and goddess
All in one
Leaves identity succinct
Or identifies succinctness
If it has been
Then so it was always before

Therein is 'Peace'
Reposed and eyes rolling
Great, vacant saucers on vertiginous axis
She is quite the swollen beast
And on all fronts, she is terrible
If only you'll watch you may notice her growth
A malignant sort
An unwelcome appendage
I'd dash it out but I've already gone
Too pale and dogged in life to succumb
I curse her tenacity

She has a sister, I think
Or maybe a child
A child who lives down deep in my chest
A child who shrieks and tears down the walls
Perhaps she dislikes their pattern


Details | Free verse | |

Life Can Be Cruel

I cannot get into heaven
God I have tried!
Suicide is a double edge sword
Especially when you survive!
Walking the streets at night
Dazed and confused
Longing to be loved
Wondering...
When is Mum, coming for me?

"Does she still love me?"
"Does she still care?"
"Does she still think of me?"
"Does she wonder, where I am?"

I want her to come find me
I want her to say she 'loves me’
I want her to comfort me
I want her to take me home
And keep me safe
And not forget hat I exist
Like the way she treats me now

I wish God 
Could make my Mum
Magically appear
Making this hellish nightmare
On the street
Disappear!

“Send my Mum please!”
So, all this can end!
Before this last ray of hope
Diminishes for good!

I don’t want to become
The walking dead
Forever forgotten as if 
I was never born!
For this is the cruel, harsh reality
Of living life, feeling unloved
Uncared for, abandoned,
Left to fend for my own

A dangerous killer inside me
Eating away, at my soul
Something, no one can see
As I suffer in silence
My insides crippling!

Lost, alone and frightened
Weeping on a dirty
Graffiti park bench
Dirty tears
Rolling down my cheeks
Stuffing newspapers under my jumper
To keep myself warm

“What am I going to do?”

“Will I make it through the night?”
“Will I get raped and beaten?”
"Will I be left for dead?”
“Will I survive
To see another day?

“Is my life worth living?”

Please God, I beg of you
Have mercy now
Please show me the way!


Details | Free verse | |

Three days Saved

It's been nine years, I have counted the tears-
  they have made trails of guilt
  worried into my heart 
  then filled with loneliness and bitter despair
but by your grace I have been shown...

For the first time, in these nine years, I have not wept
  nor held a vigil to honor our grief
though the loss still burns, this time it is transformed

Peace from your love still reaches through death
  and through your eternal love I am reborn
  
 It is Good Friday. 
When God took your spirit home
  and left me dying to know,
  how to love him for his sacrifice
  when he asked me to give up you?
How do I heal this death and rise with you in his arms?

Through your love I was born, and in your arms I grew
 and it has been your love the kept me whole
 that taught me how to be reborn
    for even though your body has gone
    your words lost in the wind and breath no more
The essence of grace and strength you lived
- it grows still in your daughter soul

My being and existence came from your womb
  my heart and mind shaped by your enlightenment
I have lived a life you gave me and for once
   I live it in pride to honor your sacrifice
your words giving me the guidance I'd lost nine years ago.

Alas, I've come to know, that as you died
  and went home with our Lord, you saved me from my death
not in your dying, my grief and love can attest,
    but in your living strength and loving example
       you showed me how to live a life
             open to our Father's gift

We knew it would not wait, but the parting was too fast.
I sat in thought three days before your sleep and asked,
"In three days time my savior died, I wonder hence
   what of my soul will rise with his?"

And now sitting Easter morning, 
  holding my sons candy-filled basket,
I realized Three days passed.

  He took you home Friday morn, but left me love,
that eternal love that never dies
whose comfort is unending

I honor your love by giving it to my children
         and Easter morning I felt your hug, your kiss, and knew 
                                 you have never left me
.
Though God took you home Mom
I know you have never left me
for as our Savior died and rose
you too still live in my heart, 
showing me proof our Father's blessings

    because you, my love, are my soul and all ready there
there fore I am strong enough to give this pain up 
       to honor his sacrifice and transcend,
           to be humbled by the grace and mercy
          that could forgive such lost lambs as I


Details | Free verse | |

Freedom in Love

Keeping my head up, treading water
Cut throat surviving, struggling
Going under, death visits
Will to live, tested!
Selfishness Vs Selflessness
A Greater Love, encompasses me
God demonstrating mercy, for his children
Learning about forgiveness, cultivating, inner faith
Melody of Love, one can experience
In the darkest, waking hours, of everyday living
Self survival, learning how to live
Peace of Mind, Peace of Heart
Peaceful Spirit, Freedom in Love


Details | Free verse | |

Masquerade

You saunter through the double doors
Head held high
Chest puffed out
Putting on airs
You think you’re so clever, so deceiving
Showing up baring the most ornate mask
But I see right through
The mask that you wear tonight
You think it will conceal
You think just tonight
In this hour
You can be somebody else
But you’re dancing with the Belle of the Ball
This is MY Masquerade
And this is the 147th event
You just don’t recognize me
Because I wear a different mask each time
Your mask is cheap material
Sequins missing, feathers askew 
Such feeble attempts
I smell your bravado
Putrid and reeking, stinking up the air
But I see right through
I’ve donned masks my whole life
That’s why I am the bearer of this sash
That you see around my neck 
“Strongest Person I Know”
But I allow no one to gaze under the mask
Sure I play the Belle oh so well
But if you all saw beneath
Saw WHY I’ve had to wear masks
You’d strip me of my title
You’d rip off my sash
Break the pearls from my neck
You’d run for the door tonight
Quicker than Cinderella at the stroke of midnight
That’s the beauty of a Masquerade
You can pretend to be something you’re not
When one guise becomes worn
When it loses its sparkle
It’s glamour and charm
That first catches your eye
Well it’s quite alright 
Because I have a treasure trove 
BURSTING with masks
Grab another and keep dancing
Twirling the night away
Never skipping a beat
But when the music finally comes to an end
When the door closes and the final guest departs
Empty wine glasses are seen scattered all around
The only sound is the echo of my heels
When the confetti lies lifeless on the floor
That’s when I remove my mask
Exhausted, worn and weary
When I gladly, almost desperately 
Take off my tattered sash 
And throw it beneath my feet
Because I’m not resilient and strong now
I feel weak, frail and reclusive in my realm
That’s when the tears start to brim
That’s when I wish someone else held the title
So stripped and naked
Alone to clean up the mess
Everyone else has left behind
But there’s no one to there to pick up the sash
Just me and the sound of my tears
Echoing as they hit the floor
Almost fearfully I pick up the sash
Dust off the confetti
Smooth out the wrinkles
Before placing it back around my neck
As I throw my shoulders back
Standing taller than ever
Wiping away tears that no one saw
I walk back to my trunk
My trunk of the most decorative
Ornate, obscuring masks
Finding another to wear
As I prepare for the next façade
The next Masquerade 


Details | Free verse | |

Morning After

~ I open the door to search for the source But there's no sound of it now... Weeping that used to creep over the stairs, climbing trellis and vines Climbing onto the porch roof, and into my room A looming invisible smoke, that would choke me with grief, Like a thief in the night, engulfing the room where I stand ~ Sounds of weeping could be heard with a far, but familiar dread that sped through the night, remaining a bit out of reach but dying at the foot of my bed ~ It would come like a child, crying in the dark calling my name, lamenting the cost of a light that was lost a voice losing sight in the shadow of grief that fades in the soft morning dawn ~ I stand in the door, and realize, of course the voice of the wind is my own ~
____________________________________________________


Details | Free verse | |

Amor

In the heart of the deepest silence,
Where days and nights all colored black,
Laid the souls escaped from pestilence,
Never will death trace their tracks,

Amor my loved a one of them,
There laid in years fast asleep,
Dusts covered beauty once of fame,
Still vivid it's color my heart has keep,

The lake of time is deep and calm,
And my beloved laid there like a lily,
While peace and  stillness governs her presence,
Entangled in serenity of unconsciousness,

Yet even the eagerness of my longing,
Is amazed by the frank of her boldness,
As the days of the living are hurt and screaming,
Hers is patient in waiting and waiting,


Details | Free verse | |

The Light

They praise me like a saint,
But I am a sinner;
They don't know the man they see.
I am an addict.
Broken eyes to pornography,
Only Jesus can set me free.
Only by His death on the cross
And the grace of His Father's love
Am I able to be set free.
With God as The Light,
The One and Only Light,
The Only Hope in sight,
Will I be set free.
I am free.


Details | Free verse | |

Invisible

They
Are
Among us.
Not alien
But more
Like us than
You will ever know.
They are
Neighbors
Dying
Of
Disease
And 
Hate
And
Grief.
They live
Next door
Behind walls
Built
Not of stone
But of fear.
Hungry
Penniless
Alone.
They are
Stereotypes
Birthing
Children.
Ad dictions
Carving
Flesh from
Bones.
They are
Sold
Into
Slavery
Beaten
By
Other
People's
Philosophies.
They are
Invisible.
But not
To
Me.


Details | Free verse | |

To a Beautiful Stranger

Id like to think about the time when we first met,
Sometime about a year ago,
The words we said, our first exchange of hello's,
Something about, you know

I saw you just about all the time,
And suddenly because of you I was smiling again,
Though I can't seem to say when
You brought back the sunshine into my life,
unknowingly..accidentally

And though it's hard to define certain things,
Even now it is still confusing,
what am I to you..
but I know what you are to me
And how much I care about you..

But I must hide the love in my heart,
Beneath a laughing face.
And though you think I probably never cared,
I doubt anyone can ever take your place...

I miss you so much..


5.18.11


Details | Free verse | |

Light To Dark

You think you’ve gone just far enough,

I could smile knowing you’ve gone far enough that you can’t go back again

You think you were careful but,

I’ve caught a glimpse of your true, wretched form

You think you can find a way into my good graces

I’ve seen what you are, monsters with a friendly costume

You can’t deceive me anymore and, I don’t consort with serpents

You think I’m a game to be played but, trust me, you could never win

Don’t underestimate me

You think I’m a joke but, trust me you won’t be laughing

You think I’m just talking myself up but, trust me, you’re the ones going down

My eyes took too long to adjust

Better late than never

It may take a monster to know one but, I promise my teeth are sharper than yours

My first reaction to the hideous revelation that was your form was to weep

Fall to my knees, maybe even wretch my heart from my chest and onto the carpet

Then I thought about the mess it would make

I decided the only blood that will spill, will be your own

I was not weak, but I had a weakness

A heart of soft gold stitched to my sleeve with care

No longer

Now my heart is a stone so heavy

I could kill at least two birds at once 

Being the nice guy is a thing of the past 

Thanks for freeing me of that softness

You thought I was all sunshine and delicate things

When really I had just been swallowing razor blades

Now that sun is setting and I hope you see it was you who were wrong

Can you feel my darkness coming, because it’s eager to hold you

If you thought I was the one who would just stand still or turn to run

Your gonna be the one with tired feet

I’m not sad anymore

Just sick with the plague of your lies

Contagious, and I’m looking for someone to kiss

Even angels can make themselves wicked

When we do, we take no prisoners

Still think I’m a game

This one is just beginning


Details | Free verse | |

There She Goes

There she goes,
a mile away from me already,
so fast to leave such a good man,
that showed her the world
and all its wonders.
Such a man as I,
does not need so much stress,
does not deserve such heartbreak.
I am a man who deserves smiles,
not heartbreak and pain.
To feel my heart race faster and faster
I lay at home with a smile
as God comes down to me,
shall I take his message and I shall dress
in such silk and cotton
and dance with the sun, moon and stars,
wait for a new woman,
steady paced woman she will come my way,
and take me by the hand,
like a fish to the bait onto the hook
up higher and higher she goes
into my net.
There she goes higher and higher,
farther and farther,
a mile further.
Love is strange,
just keep on smiling.


Details | Free verse | |

Tree

Tree,
whose bony fingers
stretched above gloved branches,
you danced in the sunlight,
elegantly bowing
for scampering squirrels
and gifts of birdhouse rings.

Tree,
whose springtime blossoms
scattered petals
for make-believe weddings,
you caught up children
and hugged them tightly
in games of hide and seek.

Tree,
I run my fingers
along your weeping scars
where Earth’s fury tore
your hand from mine.
Splintered memories,
I have less air to breath.


Details | Free verse | |

In the Shadow of Pines

Pine cones give up everything they have,.. occasionally, leaving behind a tree
Which leads to more cones and more trees, ..coming,..going, then growing again....

I wake up in this fine old house, where at times,  I can almost believe again
that morning sun is still the same,  as it filters through the lodge pole pines

The sound of laughter will rise again, just as chatter of the squirrels has not dimmed

O' grief,    .......... you've brought disruption on us all!

Fire brings disaster, and in its wake, are burnt-out hulls
of lupine and lodge pole pine cones that will come alive.

They seed the wilderness again.

The pine cone seems to disappear, but is eternal.
For now, it rains devastation and disruption, with times to climb...with times to fall...

and eventually, a time to rise again.

Now comes cold reflection, but then, ... here comes sunlight

Sun, sun, sun, and I say.....it's all right



_______________________________________________


Details | Free verse | |

A Stone

Loss (2/11/2014)

It is a stone that cannot be lifted
Planted into the earth of the soul.

Buried under the cat that he drove over 
Pressing it into the ground in the ridges of the tractor tire.
And the jungle gym of his arm that I swung under
Long hair, laughing.
And tongue sandwiches, hard-boiled eggs, an old apple
Brought in a brown bag to the field at noon.
Shouts and a broken plate, his fist to my face.
And his hands under his head folded in worry.  
The girl he loved was getting away.
A single red rose in a small crystal vase 
on her concrete steps.
Talking on the green couch downstairs of the past
Of the future.
And the letters from San Francisco, 
The letters from Carolina, 
The letters from Japan,
Begging for baked goods and promises not to enlist. 
The launch off the rope swing into the Missouri,
Profanities screamed over the current into the bright sky.
The stick to Harley’s leg for one more day.
Sneaking out my bedroom window
Drinking a bottle of rum in the tent in the front yard
In a marijuana haze.
My white dress, dancing, his blue and gold uniform,
My manicured nails in his hands and his head over my shoulder
Tears on my back.
And the new girl who wore her own white dress.
And his eyes reflected in his sons
Tiny pieces of him in his arms.
His voice so gentle, so close to them.
Jumping and screaming, laughing bedtimes, 
Children being thrown upside down 
Tickles and goodnights in the nightlight
The darkness in the windows waiting.
Cold beers on the front porch, 
The hum of the crickets call 
To the moon.

Dirt on a stone, 
Dirt on a stone.


Details | Free verse | |

Perfectly you

You say you aren't perfect,
but look again and behold yourself; perfectly you.
Your tears be heavy-laden with guilt;
also remember, they glisten with remorse.
The sea water of the eye cleanses wounds old
and leads life to the good vulnerability
that teaches humility and belief.

Singing; your voice awakens the dawn
and dancing you set the moon.
Entrancing, you smile
and for a moment I glimpse forever.
Joy's child is your way
and grace is in your name.

Awake in the watches of the night
He watches your panic weeping;
wanting your day to soar 
and set twilight leaping.
Stars twinkle in sympathy,
and meteors lead sight to the other.
Come away with me my love and wink at suns.


Details | Free verse | |

unfinished


i’m lost.

wandering my mind, hollow now.

secrets tucked in the seams, invisible to passer-bys.

each step leaves an imprint behind,

dust settling into the crevices left by my toes.

the world empty,

immune to stolen glances between souls and half-hearted exchanges.

peace swept away,

pushed to the side by an old broom of straw and wood.

oxygen dissipates,

I try hard,

harder to breathe.

but all that is left to soothe my lungs

is the empty, grey air,

void of the warmth of shared space
.

sometimes I sneak away

to send a fluid rush to my veins,

entrancing my mind in a fictional fantasy.

alone, I bathe in my secrecy,

cleansing my skin with vibrant truths.


Details | Free verse | |

Side By Side

Oh it's a beautiful night!
The moon is full
And the stars are glowing
While the trees, with Earth's cool summer breeze
Start slowly blowing...

A campfire's flames are burning so bright
While a young couple holds each other tight
Warming their hearts, as these two lovers embrace
Traveling together, through time and space
Oh how tonight, with their love, they won't hide
Two lovers forever, Side By Side

Under the stars, both of them lay
They've been together, happy, all night and all day
Holding each other, a sweet caress
While green grass stains her pretty white dress
But no words, to each other, do they say
Happy just sitting Side By Side, knowing no other way

Gazing up at the stars
Breathing in the night
Them together with nature
A beautiful sight

All the years they've both struggled
And how they cried 
Has led them here tonight
It matters not now
As they'll lie here forever, Side By Side


Details | Free verse | |

Like the frightened Jackrabbit, I run away from Love

Jump up and down like a jackrabbit
running through meadows
running from what?
Could it be heartbreak,
a venemous snake that hides in the grass,
hiding with fangs ready to pierce the tender skin
upon the tight, bronze flesh of everyday life?
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye now!
I need a vacation a long way away from the faceless smiles
and ignorance of young girls, who don't look at you,
who don't show you love and respect.
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye now,
as jumping spiders hop everywhere, crawling eight legs around me
my soul black like carcoal, but my heart still beating
slower this time, not like the days before
and like the jackrabbit running from anything and everything,
I run to seek love and vanish away from the empty voids
that people call, their souls.
Recording a film with no tape,
talking to a woman you love, but not having the guts to tell her how you really feel
Jump my boy, like a jackrabbit, take my advice
tell her before she leaves
turns down the endless avenues of endless dark love
the trees grow taller, taller than you
and you sit there feeling away yourself die, missing out in life.
I cannot see you lose your love.
Say it, say it, Say it!!! Tell her! Tell her! Build the guts up!
Build up the courage, tell her how you feel. Take her by the hand and never say goodbye! Never say goodnight, stay with her till the flight comes in the morning
of the first rays of sun shine through your dorm room take her and love her!
Do not be like me, the jackrabbit! I see no happiness
Reading poetry it makes me sad,
to write of others falling in love and I never finding the one.
People tell me, you'll find yours, have hope
but I am a frightened little jackrabbit
who flees from sounds of deep emotions, not having courage to fall in love,
not building the guts up to tell her how I really feel.
She walks alone, I find my oppertunity and sing my love song
She smiles and moves on,
please tell me I cannot fight anymore.
All I have to say is Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye
I need a vacation
to go to some sandy beach on an island of love
and write and write and write, the same poetry that depresses me
but makes you all fall in love with words!
Fiction about love stories, please kiss me
Blue eyed death comes, plays a game of chess with me
I bet twenty, he bets my soul
Kiss me death, the only love I'll ever get,
besides my poet friends who kiss my ass
Listen to my heart, truely, I don't write of beauty
I write for the sorrow soul, the fleeing jackrabbit
running away from love.....


Details | Free verse | |

THE SPIRIT OF A SLAVE

      Where did all those black people go in Black History such as W.E.B Dubois, 
George Washington Carver, Sojourner Truth,and many more that came before.
      Why have their families disappear?
When you search their genealogy, their surnames are found.
      Were their families wiped-out?
I am speaking on today.
      These people paved a way out no way.

[NEGRO SPIRITUAL - THE SPIRIT OF A SLAVE]

      These old bones of mine stir in the grave.
I was a freedom fighter in my days.
      Great I did do for the slaves even when their life in this country had been made.
We wanted a better living a holistic way.
      Our troubles where many; we saw through the white man eyes or ways.
Old bones of mine became tired and disengaged.

      Where is my family now?
Where did they go?
      My spirit roams to find my kinfolks.
Our surname is no more.

      My soul was baptized in the Mississippi.
I was raised from the river saved.
      No sin was present and I lived right.
When I knew my time had come, I closed my eyes.
      In those days, doctors were few in saving the life of a slave.
The pain was so great I knew I was gone.
      But by the grace of God my life went on.
Ten years later, I was summoned home.

      My people are no more.
Where did my people go?
      I see our house yonder.
Our surname is not in existence any more.

      The spirit of a slave
The soul afire
      Roams the world in the sweet by and by
He shouts, "Still I Rise!"
________________________|
Penned April 29, 2014!


Details | Free verse | |

Embers of a dream

Lord, I don't understand.
Maybe I never did.
The destination of the path seemed so grand,
yet now it looks horrid!

Why?

The dragon You've placed, mine to fight
still breathes fire and brimstone in my neck,
but I'm armoured with incapability to smite
and the cobblestones You paved lead to this wreck.

Why?

I dreamt of the moon,
but couldn't reach the stars,
so I drifted into the sun and soon
I would be burnt with scars.

Why shroud my mind with dreams of peace at daylight's bend,
yet shred it with horrors at night?
Why let me pursue a rainbow when 
there never was an end?

The past is bathed in murky waters
and clothed in miry clay.
Now the future looks no better
and mere words can't express what I wish to say.

Lord, here I lay at Your mercy,
angry and heartbroken.
You don't make mistakes and You set free.
Please, I beg be my beacon!
Loose the shackles,
break the chains
that I may serve You again.
Show me the true way You planned,
for I have reached the end of this one.


Details | Free verse | |

The Rope of Hope

Ain't it strange...
That I attach to you...like a troublesome sore
Do you find it odd...
That I truly love you to the core

But it's true...I can get a little insane at times...when I'm in a certain phase
Sorry to say, but get used to my crazy, psychotic nature...or leave me to rot...
But it ain't no surprise that we all aren't normal and we all are peculiar in our own bizarre ways
Sorry to burst your bubble, but haha, yeah...I've been causing mischief and what not

You untied me from my utter demise...
And you drowned away my thoughts that spread lies
In my head...making it spin madly
Like a Mary-go-round...

But it's true...I can get a little insane at times...when I'm in a certain phase
Sorry to say, but get used to my crazy, psychotic nature...or leave me to spoil and rot....

Don't be afraid, baby
It's only in your mind...
Anxiety is brewing in your blood
And I can't seem to hold on to the rope of hope

But it ain't no surprise that we all aren't normal and we all are peculiar in our own bizarre ways
Sorry to burst your bubble, but haha, yeah...I've been causing trouble and what not

Time is ticking like a bomb about to blow up into smoke and flame
It alarms to say this, but how DARE you waste my valuable time
Time is ringing like a church bell chime...it's your time to say goodbye and it's my time to forget your name
It's alarming to hear broken records of memory replay in my head...it's almost crime

Thinking of you is wonderful and sublime

But it's true...I can get a little insane at times...when I'm in a certain phase
Sorry to say, but get used to my crazy, psychotic nature...or untie me from this tight knot

You made the decision to untie me from my utter demise...
And you drowned away my thoughts that spread lies
In my head...making it spin madly
Like a Mary-go-round...


Details | Free verse | |

Celestial Mask

So many times, have I cried your name, and you do not answer. I know not your face nor your name, yet I only know you are a sir. Perhaps now married, perhaps still single, nevertheless, You are my big brother, the longing for you makes me restless. The labyrinth of my life, it is everlasting. Everywhere I turn, I find more sadness that becomes unbearable and strangling. I will keep my eyes open and wait for you, but even if you cannot return my feelings, please know, Us meeting was no mere accident, I believe God sent you to me to show, I needed a chance to change, a chance to smile! So those who like me now, they have you to thank, While, Those who despise me can kiss my derrière, Because I will not drastically change myself for them, so there! Don't you agree that it was fate? I could have met anyone else, but it was you who opened the gate. When I was alone, self-loathing because of how my relatives treated me, You comforted me and told me I could talk to you, and through tears, I can see, Wait for me... Please... We will meet once and for all, You are my savior who saved one child from the darkness that loomed over so tall. However, my heart is already the color noir and full of madness, corruption, hatred and sadness, But you have only seen the loneliness in my heart, the depression and suicidal thoughts, yet with you, the impossible was possible, it was my happiness... I shared my thoughts with a few others, but you are the first, the only one I truly feel comfortable not hiding from. Everyone else, for some reason, cannot be trusted or be burdened with this weight of incredible sum. But the reason I trust you the most, the reason I love you, is because you, out of all the people in the world, told me it was okay to... Be me... Everyone else after was far too late and by then, I would have been found dead in the sea. To cut out the heart that pains me, to shoot the brain that over thinks, to drown in eternal sadness or burn away the impurity of those who influenced me... To destroy it all and leave. That is what will happen, therefore, I cannot risk strengthening the bonds I have with others, for soon, I will disappear without a trace, because of what I believe. When I exact revenge on my family, I will be wanted dead and will have no further purpose. I will revert to nature's soil. So, my existence will be a nuisance and though I will plunge everything in a hectic turmoil, I shall not regret a thing. May 1st, 2013; 5:13 pm


Details | Free verse | |

Beautiful Lace

Eyes of piercing true,
ever so blue.

I hope you knew 
as you flew on the wings of grace,
your life was like beautiful lace.

In that lace 
was a place,
just for me.


Details | Free verse | |

Believe It or Not

Believe it or not

He swore by the day he sighted the earth
This step he took 
Was not aimed at piercing anyone
But to show his appreciation
At exactly the time (or on time)

Had he known the blessed wouldn't be pleased
With this gesture
He would have 
Hands down
And waved for naught

'What are my mistakes'
He asked
Cos his heart is mixed

This mind is now full with mix feelings

The memory of strange letters that gloomed at his eyes

Believe it or not
He had never wish for anything

If nothing will make him live a simple life
And meet his Creator in good shape
Then he will be satisfied with that hope
Than a hope of something 
Where he wishes for nothing

A.O


Details | Free verse | |

The Grief of Crows

Soaring above the bushfire's flames,
astounded crows, blacker than charred
tree trunks, flap spectral wings.

Numb with loss, no caws drone out.
Wind rushes in updrafts from
the smoky heat: to rise as a vengeful spirit,
to hammer at fleeing pinions,
to witness aimless circles above coal black trees,
now absent of rough stick nests.


Suzanne Delaney


Details | Free verse | |

Misery

Before you read this poem, I would like to state a few things.  First off, I am not suicidal. I 
have never tried to end my life, nor do I plan on trying to end my life. I grew up in a house 
where my parents argued, and screamed on a daily basis, sometimes well into the morning 
hours of the day.  There were days where I slept outside in a sleeping bag because it felt safer 
then my own bed.  For those of you who are parents, or want to become parents, i would 
like to let you know that there is more then one way to abuse and neglect your children.  
Words can have the an impact on your children far greater then any blow or punishment ever 
could.Since this poem was written 5 years ago, I have moved away from that horrible house; 
however, some things can not so easily be forgotten.

Misery Hopeless, crushing, darkness, despair You know not what pain your words inflict The poison noise that pierces the soul Day in and out Over and over Never ending Why do i deserve such torment Is death the only escape from this waking hell I'm bound to this, not with chains but with fear An inescapable prison The only shelter, my pen and paper. My friends through which happiness seep into this wasteland To hope for peace that will not come. I close my eyes I wish away this hatred and violence but it will not flee Do i have the strength? Can i make it on my own? Can i break free and fly Or will fear keep me bound in shackles and chains Till sweet death is the only release.


Details | Free verse | |

LOST LOVE in Aussie slang

written 3rd Oct 2013



I was in love with the most lovable sheila
 but she did darn take off with me heeler

Overnight, she had packed their bags
 not just me dog, gone too with me scallywags

Left with just a simple note
 she had found a more loving bloke

Heartbroken to have lost them all
 I gave me mate Bluey a call

Together we drank more than just a slab
 ending up so hammered, he called us a cab

As the lonely days passed and tears filled me eyes
 by crikey it hit me, suddenly I came to realise

What a bloomin idiot, she deserved such love and respect
 every night boozin with me mates, my true love I did neglect

I'm gunna cut me drinkin and win her heart back
 fair dinkum fella's, you can flamin bet on that!


Details | Free verse | |

why daddy

dad you were my hero!
the one i wanted to be just like.
everything i did was to make you proud...
you walked out on us...
i know i wasnt a perfect child...
i just wanted to feel love from you

mom always told me that you would be there for me
you were until i disappointed you...
i thought parents were supposed love their children no matter what...
you didnt do that
 you always put me down 
told me i was such a shame to the family

now that i have grown up
i relieze life is better with out you in it...
and i no longer wanna be just like you
i could never walk out on my kid
you sicken me...
how could you give up the child that you gave your name to...
i understand you have other kids
but to just give up and not have anything to do with one of them
and to not let that kid know his siblings....
i could never do that 
no matter how much my kid disappointed me...

i found my hero...
he stepped up even tho he didnt have to...
he treated me like his own...
he was there when i needed a daddy and you werent there...
he was there at my worst....
and he is there at my best...
he will be my best man when i get married...
my kids will know him as grandpa...
they will never know you 
cause i cant risk you hurting my kids
the way you hurt me...

the thing that gets me the most is....
how you made it look so easy
did you even think about the lil boy
who carries your name and...
has your blood running in his veins

i dont think you did...
and if you did you are
a heartless piece of crap

even after all you have done to me...
physical, emotional, and mental abuse...
i forgive you...
not for you but for me so i can move on with me life


Details | Free verse | |

Welcome To Living Death

There comes a point in time
Where nothing matters
Where your vision is blurred
Where there's nothing but darkness encircling you 
Where love has lost and Fear has won. 

There comes a situation when you realize your hopeless,
lifeless, faithless, graceless, breathless, and  mindless 
mind has taken over and won. 

Where happiness is feared and sadness is embraced. 
 
Welcome to living death. 


Details | Free verse | |

Pinkctober

One suffers from cancer but given a negative result Or medical team treating fails to a make a diagnosis Giving open ground to cancer to grow One suffers from cancer and given a positive result Either one was late to see the doctor or a wrong one Giving open ground to cancer to grow. Physicians specializing mammography, err about 3% But other physicians failed to identify 71 % Giving open ground to cancer to grow. Sometimes doctors are careless and negligent Sometimes the patients are so Giving open ground to go to God.
================================ Dr. Ram Mehta Fifth Place Win Contest: Pinkctober by P.D. * I dedicate this poem to persons suffering from Breast Cancer presently.


Details | Free verse | |

On seeing a photograph-2

On seeing a photograph

“Our task is to listen to the news that is always arriving out of silence”
                                                                       - Rainer Maria Rilke -

A  rare prologue gone awry
Drafted as it was in the midst of
A  terrible  denouement 

Plain and bare for once, shorn of  frills
Exposed to all the evil 
And in a fluster

Here it was left incarcerated
Within the burden of unkind words
Craving   care

Words  that just couldn’t tell
That wouldn’t at all hear
Nor be fair

Moments before getting erased
By the most blasted hand that  ever
Pulled  a trigger

Into Silence.

And here I stand  listening to the news
That’s  always arriving out of Silence..


S.Jagathsimhan Nair

8 May 13

•	On seeing  the photograph of  Balachandran, son of Tiger Prabhakaran,  moments before the 12 year old was  killed.

For Kim Morrison's


Details | Free verse | |

There Is No Now

The pollution is psychedelic
Hell, you could even say poetic nature
Terms of enragement
Definitely not engagement
Can suffice in describing the depredation

Fire from the skies
Burning through the system
Dropping through to nothing
Learning not what’s in them
Always running from them

We may hide our voices
But you hide your souls
Torturing us with woes
Never able to feed our hole
Scars bleed out like coals

Paint it any color you like
Doesn’t change a thing
This war that you’ve brought forth 
Has killed us all
In the past and future

There is no now…


Details | Free verse | |

Skin Deep

Achilles' heel 
You’re another day older
The world’s much colder
She…

It’s not your fault
They were taken 
Don’t blame yourself 
for God’s mistake
Is…

Her beauty reflects your own
Her life reflects your future
Chasing rabbits will get you there faster
Loss of faith will bring you there faster
Watching…

The ball drops
It’s clever to see
What happens to us
And here we are
Waiting…

Yes, 
Take the evil out of this
You’re stronger
She’s stronger and always,
Loving…


Details | Free verse | |

Water

The water. 
It ripples and waves.
Its soothing to the touch and it runs over your body like an invisible blanket.
When life is too much to take I run to the water.
I've thought about lost loved ones over the view of the ocean.
As the waves ran over my toes and pulled back it was as if God was telling me I'm here.
I see your pain. I see your passion. In time I will wash them away.
When it rains, it stirs something inside of my heart. I know that as this storm shall pass, so will the trials of life.
The pain will be washed away. All will grow new again.
Pain is water.
Joy is water.
Life it water.
Water is beauty.


Details | Free verse | |

Tsunami

Blazing hot sweats rolled down my back,
A cloudless sky was at reach from my palm’s view,
My eyes centered on the sun as it stood above my head.
Summer’s end sneaked around the corner,
But its endless heat
Fooled me to think it would never cease.
 
Milky sand grains covered my toes,
Beach balls rolled back n’ forth,
Children’s castle were made and later destroyed,
Clear waters waved in my thoughts.
It was suppose to be a beautiful day
And until that moment, indeed it was.
 
The moment the earth shook, 
Loud voices suddenly began to rise
And Footsteps tumbled the ground,
I looked around
Right, left, up, down,
Where had the commotion come from?
 
The sun blinded me from the truth,
When the photons in my eyes reassembled the image,
A shock traveled to my heart
Making it pump furiously in my chest.
 
A desert ahead of me laid,
Content faces had ran from my presence,
The air dragged my body forward,
The ocean rapidly seemed to disappear.
I looked upon the never ending horizon
And its line had ascended greatly.
 
In that moment,
I refused to run like all the others,
I refused to avoid its magnificent moves.
The winds pushed me backwards with a tremendous force,
Sprinkles of icy water splashed against my skin,
A great calamity I was bound to face.
 
Shadows covered the surface of my dread,
An enormous wall of wetness surrounded me.
And with a blink, I was no longer visible to the eyes of men,
Not even God could spot me from the heavens above.
 
I gasped for air in the salty waters of the ocean,
But there was none to be found,
And with that last thought in mind
I drowned myself in its eternal beauty.


Details | Free verse | |

Her Final Words

"No." She whispered before drowning into her sorrows.
Her life had been a simple happy one. 
There were no pains and no troubles.
Life was life and people were people.
Life was simple.
and life was all about tomorrows.
Life didn't know about sorrows.
Her sorrows.
Those same sorrows that she drowned in never existed. 
They were never there, but where?
First to be sad in the naive town of joy.
Sorrow became contagious and what was known as happiness no longer was there.
It was non-exististent. 
A meager thought 
and a blessed memory.
She tried and tried.
She failed and failed.
Life was no longer hers.
For Pain was her only possession.
Her curse.
She lived and she died.
Yet, her legacy was passed on.
Never was it gone.
"No." She whispered before drowning in her sorrows, 
"Save them."


Details | Free verse | |

Survival Of The Fittest

Dropped out of school
At an early age
Lived on the streets 
Because, I disgusted my mother
She thought I was a poor example
Of true Christian beliefs
At an early age 
She religiously drummed into me
‘blood is thicker than water’
And yet, 
Here I am today confused, lonely and hungry
No one protecting me
No friends
No family
No home to go too
Just, peoples eye for an eye,
tooth for a tooth mentality
Praying for the sun to shine
To feel some warmth again!
Sun rays of hope, lighting me up
To live through this darkness without fear
With a heart full of faith
No matter what happens to me, now!
If only I could drink my salty tears
It would sustain me for a lifetime
Your tears are worth nothing, around here
You’re classed as weak and venerable
Only attracting death
Your life worth nothing!
Save me from myself
I am my best friend
I am my worst enemy
My prayers and dreams
Lost in the wind
Blowing around like autumn leaves
The rain washing them away
Down the drain into the sewage
Rolling with the seasons
Year after year
Survival for the fittest!
Surviving on the love
Hidden, inside me
Being my strength and guide
My personal lifeline
In surviving this crazy world 
We all live in


Details | Free verse | |

For Grandma Carol

I'll hold fast, cling to the echo of your fading chime.
Remember the intonations of your wisdom, revel
in the moments that were a balm to my soul as it 
was young, and breaking free. 
Your blood still runs, in these veins..
alive in my journey. 
My heart beats in rememberance,
the song of my ancestors;
I'll hold it here, in this blood
that you gave and know 
that you are still with me. 
 
-James Kelley 2014, All rights reserved.


Details | Free verse | |

All Else In Between

Here I found a cruel necessity for a new, chilling ambience
There was even a need for the drifting fogs of dreary past 
A need for the blurred emptiness that sadness elates
An unimpeded appetite for a long lost banister of emotional distain

Negative pores glimmered petulantly on polluted shores 
Drawn to an irrefutable cloud of looming gloom
Swollen was the tide of crestfallen reveries—ashen treasuries

There in that dark, empty room of ill refute 
I felt the word ‘alone’ in a new shade of gray
I felt sincerely barren—I hesitate to say
Yes, I welcomed the weak ray of diminishing hope
I disposed of lurid happiness to gamble with tragedy
I both lost and gained
I was both enlightened and degraded
And all else in between

Images sustained their displays on my burning canvas
Lighting up merely to blacken and destroy
Weeping for the sake of weeping alone
I grasped onto the disturbing unknown  
And spat upon my inane, dull, idealistic parables
Never meant for meaning or demeaning
Only remained then was a desperately distilled and angry fright
It was this fright alone that pushed me more to account
That pushed me to curse my every being 
For daring to weep for the sake of weeping
Was a personal sin at best blessed  

There in that slowly illuminating room
That slowly blackening burning room
I both lost and gained
I was both dead innocent and garishly guilty
And all else in between


Details | Free verse | |

OF a Tree, Thee, and an Angel's Fee

Force feed me the taste of your skin

‘You will have to break my chastity belt wide open now
for I have sold myself into silent slavery to this ….our universal broken heart

even you will have to try hard……to save me now

I cannot recall your sounds…your hand motions 
as they devoured the subtle softness of me 
drew round my curvaceous places in curling ownership
intimacies’ sweetest embrace 

But too…you move to me 
with a ferocity that mowed the grass down  to a short golf course length 
from the living room table where you drew it happening… a hundred years ago

The length of your hair too has been a subject of much debate 
Love
that surging heavenly song...that told our story so well
 
like that movie from long ago about the girl who cut off and sold her hair to buy her love a golden watch fob and chain …the one who sold his golden watch to buy her a beautiful clip pin for her gorgeous long hair 
………………………………..you see how this goes …with true love

We cut off our noses and then turn backs on our faces 
and on each other on Facebook 

Itself the enemy…where only devils and the luckiest of angels spread


Tread on me beloved!
till I am awakened 
to our lips 
 which just now in writing I suddenly can feel meeting again

taste 
smell 
the salted brine of your pure water and sometimes beer soaked self

Is it me you feared 
as you said Good bye?

How little you know me 

like the formation of the first ever green tree grows up one limb at a time 
from a base long song of deep roots and strong center...so beautiful the Hosts stagger before its creation ….Halleluiah
The limbs sprouting forth like the wings bursting out of the flesh of the first angel 
who died in agony as they were formed….exploding from his shoulders
moving her hair aside as the arch of wing thrust like white tree limb from the goodness within
and the reincarnation of true kindness was born to the conscious of itself

so my love knows no limit 
my soul no separation
and my being no longing


Details | Free verse | |

Scarred but not Wounded

Hush child, wipe those tears
The demons are away
They're not after you, I promise
It's just the cold weather.

Hush child, I hear you sob
The monsters are gone
They're not after you, I promise
It's just shadows in the dark.

Hush child, I know, you're hurting
These demons and monsters are mine
It's just me, I promise
And all my cold shadows.


Details | Free verse | |

The Little girl

The little girl so innocent and sweet
Longs for some comfort
To give her relief

The smiles hide it all 
Bruises and scars
She doesnt know how to reach out 
All she knows is how to fall 

From day one she new 
That her life was hard 
She was abandoned
Thrown around like trash 
As she sits by the warm fire stearing at all the ash

And she aches within 
Wondering if someone cares 
If someone will love her 
After all these years 

15/06/2011
People betrayed her trust 
Exploiting her the way they did 
She has no say 
She lives in fear 
Wishing that she could have run away and hid

The little girl now a women 
Feels so alone 
And distant from everyone 
She often questions her existence
Not understanding 
Why people dont listen

She feels so raw 
And hates the control 
Shes endures
But its the only way she doesnt loose it all 

No-one looks beyond the veil 
No-one understands 
And she doesnt trust anyone because they have ruined 
The little girl 
Who would’ve done anything she could to protect 
The little girl 





Details | Free verse | |

Ashes to Ashes

From ashes
she rises, 
absolving
cleansing, 
face, hands, feet.
Four months, 
Ten days, 
She mourns.
She weeps.

She clothes herself now
in an adornment of white
bowing privately, 
praying fervently, 
as bitter fumes
of acetone
seep beneath the door.

Her source is god.
Her destination is god.
She pleads with god now
for peace
As men mix and pour
A holocaust
Just outside her door.

Her sisters wail.
They bathe her lifeless arms
And shroud her
as Iris Albicans- 
Exotic, 
Fragile, 
Pure.

The imam, he stands, 
Praying silently
As men convey her
towards Mecca.
From ashes to ashes
And dust to dust.
From ashes to ashes
And dust to dust.


Details | Free verse | |

She Never Met A Stranger

I hated it at times, it could be so annoying. 
It meant we were always waiting dinners
and you hoped when you were out she wouldn’t 
see anyone she knew because that was sure to add another
half hour or so to the outing. It meant every where she went she was  l  a  t  e. 
More than once I had called the hospital worried she had a wreck

However, it also meant that there was always a smile,
a kind word and encouragement ready at all times. 
She could be loud and boisterous and enthusiastic about life...she loved people.  

It’s different now.  I see her in the lobby and go to sit by her,
 her head is down, propped by her hand.  I sit beside her, nothing. 
 I rub her back, nothing; I talk to her, nothing.
 I jostle harder, talk louder and she comes to life. 
 Life, do you still call it life when it has evaporated,
 slowly faded away into the bare minimum of existence

She used to babble a nonsensical jargon that she herself could not reason.
You had to train yourself not to look away while she was talking because 
whether anyone understood the gibberish of irrational thought
that somewhere connected to voice she did understand rudeness
and impatience and you could read the sting in her eyes.

I want words so badly now.  Questions that beg answers,
 words so scarcely uttered. 
 Nursery rhymes started by me that she may join in,
 mostly wrong words but the rhythm still there.

She loved to have her hair combed so I do it now
 but it brings no response of comfort or liking.
 I bring something she enjoys eating but she does not reach for it.
 I touch it to her hand but she does not grasp.
 I put it to her lips and soon she opens and eats. 
 Does she know what it is?  Does it taste good to her.
 I cannot read the expression but she will eat if I feed them to her. 
 I start putting them to her fingers and she eats

Time goes on.  When do you leave?
 Nothing really changes from beginning to end. 
 Do you watch the clock and leave after the time allotted.
 I don’t know.  I still have this need to fix it. 
 She’s my sister, she’s too young, make it stop, give her back.

I leave her with her strangers as I’ve now become.

She’s always with strangers 


Details | Free verse | |

Sad Versus Happy

It’s dark.
It’s tense.
It’s something everyone fears.
This thing is sadness.
But there is one thing that can make defeat this evil thing.
It brings joy.
It brightens your face.
It’s something everyone loves.
This is happiness.
Everyone should have it.
Everyone does have it.
You just have to find it.


Details | Free verse | |

Africa III

Heart pounding
Nervous feeling
Overwhelming
Deep breath to shake it
Cold chill slivers down fast

Beating against cage of heart
Cage of body
Cage of soul
Legs begging to run
Heart aching to be free
Truth to self 
aching to be seen

Sweet scent of dry savannah plains
Sharp smell of thorny veins
The aroma of Africa surrounds
Scents sights sounds 
In these home is found

Frustration mounts 
Captured leopard
Bound

Snarling at every motion made
Scared but defiant
Blinded by fear and rage

Paws long for endless journeys
On paths walked centuries ago
For elegance in element
A space all her own
Where earth still bleeds red on horizon
Morning and night
Continuing the endless fight

Fight for borderless freedom
Everlasting sight
The pale yellow green eyes
Dismays the truth inside
But tell the story
Of wild soul
Story to unfold


Details | Free verse | |

PHONE WIRE IN GRAVES

 Waiting for a phone call

 Hoarding memories surrounding

 A nest of sorrow

 She's deep asleep

 I watch her...

 She's 

 dreaming dreams of happy times but gone...

 Busy walls with mounted smiles

 A mute TV screen displaying a tragic comedy

 Curtains shielding tears

 Three phone devices that do not ring...

 I must go back to my reality

 I cry, she cries...

 Our phones do not even sound busy...

 Invisible wires of the soul crash in memories...

 copyright@iolandascripca2013


Details | Free verse | |

Staring into Distance

He stares

into the distance of the days,

of those gone and of those yet to come --

he touches no one,

is touched by no one.

Yet noisy commerce

around him flows, constant movement;

but movement without a change of place,

no progress forward, no backward retreat --

an illusion of movement, only.

He sees youths --

with no sense of self --

and leathery crones,

unhygienic vagrants,

no place to go,

assailed by noises --

a repetitious assault

upon the ear and air.

Still he sits,

in frozen semi-trance,

staring always inward,

but also into distance,

sentient and inert.


Details | Free verse | |

HATE ME NOW

Hate me now when you can still find your way back home
Hate me now to see what is good for you
Hate me now when your view of me is not what you see
Hate me now in the morning for your meaningful afternoon
Hate me now in this sunny noon so I can melt with the sun set
Hate me now before the crack of dawn for your redefinition
Hate me now for what I didn’t do for you
Hate you now for all the things u didn’t do for me
Hate you now when I can also find myself another home
Hate you now for all the promises you never live up to
Hate you now for I see the sun shines again for me
Hate us together for all the thing we didn’t achieved


Details | Free verse | |

THE WHEEL IS COME FULL CIRCLE

“The wheel is come full circle.” William Shakespeare

The clock tick-tocks!
The tables have turn counter clockwise.
The knowledge would be known.
Life is only given once.
This is what humankind is told.
But the souls rise with suspended time and life is revamped within a twilight.

Zone is the person that child has been chosen.
Veracity her spirit holds through her mother’s soul.
Her dynasty is stated will never be.
Depression is negated; however, she will repeat history.
The clock tick-tocks and the wheel of time have come full circle.
The wisdom is acknowledge through those demised.

Their deaths were to be in suspended time.
Her mother died through organized measures.
Her sister death was from similar means.
And her husband died for religion.
The walls are rose to conceal.

The darkness thickness and amnesia is present.
She always ends in the same place.
The Greyhound Bus Station and people are crowding out front.
The clock tick and sound forms ascertain amnesia.
The wheel of time has come full circle.

What went before is now past and the future is here.
Recurrence of episodic events has been gone for fifteen years.
Inhabitants talk and state she is hearing things, when the wheel of time has reveal   
     them.
Tock and I will win.
The passes find that the wheel of time has ticked and the game ends.
____________________________________________________________|
Penned April 27, 2014!


Details | Free verse | |

Another Tragedy

Another tragedy has struck our Country. On December the 14th of 2012 a young man took the lives of twenty children and seven adults, than he took his own life. All this happened in New Town Connecticut. It happen in a school while the children were attending class. A town where people thought that they were safe. The whole Country was in shock as we saw on TV. how the police came to the school and the parents were running trying to get to their kids. You could see the worry and pain on their faces. The principal and some teachers died trying to save the children. A little girl escape, by playing dead. Her friends didn't have that luck. The children will go straight to heaven. Little Angels they already are. The adults probably followed them. They earned their wings that day. The shooter had killed his mother before he went to that school to commit that horrible crime. He escape the Justice of man here on Earth, but he still faces a higer court and from that no one escapes. How many more tragedies have to happen before things can change. Please say a prayer for the famlies of these victims and ask GOD to help us make this a better world...
12/19/2012 Written by Lucilla M. Carrillo For Skat's contest of 20+7


Details | Free verse | |

Next Opponent

What am I doing here 
Just going through the motions
I think everything will be ok, that I’ll be ok
Then I get sucker punched
With an emotional blow to the gut
Can’t take much more of this beating 
I’m bleeding
Feeding off others who are needing.
How can they help me if they can’t help themselves?
How can I help them if I cant help myself?
It’s a see saw effect
Up down up down up down
Now what?
Where do we go from here?
Is there even a purpose to this ride?
I just want to hide
Im empty inside 
Now that my dreams and death collide
What am I doing here
 just going through the motions
cant find the purpose in this 
I’m pissed
I put up my fists
But my opponent laughs at me 
Taunts me with the truth
That my future has kissed 
me goodbye
I wanna cry
Curl up in a ball and die
And I’ve got 10 more rounds of this abuse
So whats the use?
This fight is just an excuse 
not to try. 
At least that’s what they say.
I pray for the bell to ring to end this round 
As I lay lifeless on the ground
Your fists pound
One… two… three…ten! 
You’re out, 
The uncaring shout…
Fights over
Next opponent


Details | Free verse | |

Poor Candle Forlorn

Weep no more sad candle
for the world has not ended.

Star still blaze
in the streets
above our heads
and river
rush in meandering
languages to the sea.

Even comets still remain
to billiard the heavens
arcs.

Cry no more 
your liquid tears
knotting on the indifference 
of small table.

No worries my little candle
for you bless me in the purity
of your ebbing flow
of flickering the scripture
on the hymns
of my life's  impossible corners...


Details | Free verse | |

Scars of an Inner Child

You are not the man, you want to be
You said you were my Father, till, I discovered different
Enduring, daily beatings
Bashing the living day lights, out of a woman and a child
Repetitive, bad ass attitude, nasty streak
Mean and aggressive!
Fists, knives and guns, your weapons of chose
Out of control, abusive, devious
Relentless, over – bearing!
Breaking me, piece by piece
Confusing a child, with unhealthy love
Hand fed your bullshit, brain washed
Using me as your human, punching bag
This innocent child’s blood, staining your callas hands
My child’s curiosity, asking you one day
“Why do you hurt me and Mum?”
Your retort: “I am not your blood!”
I didn't understand, back then
Now, as an adult, I clearly understand!
Believe me, when I say
There was never a day that went past
That you didn't remind me of that!
My freedom, restrained
My sanity, tested
Caged, like a wild bird in captivity
Behind bars, looking out
 Here, I am today, free from your grip
Nursing, this inner child’s, bleeding love


Details | Free verse | |

As I look above visions of you there

As I look above visions of you there
A place and time zone beyond the sun
A third heaven where we'll talk and eat
You, myself and I am in paradise
Moments of love and peace we share
Even though it's a like dreamland 
As I look above visions of you there

The figment in my mind of this place,
And I know you're gone from earth, 
In my grief I have visions of you
I'm awake but in a vegetable state
In suffering, memories will never vanish
Not here can we can come to table talk

A surreal life I cannot forget in time
I thought it possible. I wipe away the tear,
As I look above visions of you there

I see this unapproachable light coming
And palace glowing like the sun far off
Two angels holding fire swords at the gate 
guarding the numerous rooms and
protecting the holy angels that sing
This vision I can not fully describe 
Its starlight, beauty, and majesty
As I look above visions of you there
A third heaven where we'll talk and eat


Details | Free verse | |

Snow Kept Skies

with crooked feet the tide rolls under

rivers flood while mountians thunder

white skies carry rolling tides

as we all ride in a canoe

small running brook

finding creatures at the crook

as they lay waiting for supreme silience

that motions for their move

as the water moves it falls

the scape carries sunlight under

to get there it plays with the moon

it lifts it falls very elegantly of it all

the water falling penitrates not the canoe

light rays follow cracks and creaves'

as we ride the ancient pegasus

if your Latin this is nothing new

as they keep the date with heavens wonders

many men will see white thunder

watch what you over lap because to us this is blue

carnavours once thrived but with the herbavours they died

because the sun carried us on the move

oil rumbles as waves continue to tumble

from place to place as the oil moves

purple skies only burn blue for you

here we go it's collecting snow to slowly melt

twords their move, sunlight through, reflect the moon

hiding there in royal pairs deciding how much galcier to move


Details | Free verse | |

Beslan- Russia 2004

Under a free sky, today
on a beach in Australia
I gathered from the white sand beach
ancient, sea- worn shells.
Another world away they gathered up
the siege-worn bodies of their children

As I rinsed my weathered treasures
in crsytal blue ocean waves; they were burying their innocents,
lowering them into early graves

All around me freedom shimmered
while they, grief stricken, had helpless tears
that shone on white, shocked cheeks
I felt the sun, warm on my skin
while they felt the deep chill of evil mocking them

I think I know how precious freedom is
They are sure of it, as they bury their dreams
 with children they would have died for
In the face of such callous cruelty
we feel just as helpless 
Gulls hover above me like thoughts
They go out to them - on freedom's wings

 Suzanne Delaney


Details | Free verse | |

My cobain smile

I want to drown my urge to die
I want to kill my pulse inside
I can't breathe, I'm paranoid
Everything in life I avoid

Don't speak to me, I'll look away
Inside my eyes is just decay
 I'm already dead, but have yet to die
Why do I keep my body alive

My soul is dead, eyes are lies
So is the smile I hide behind
Pull the plug, I'm a fake
In a nightmare and I cannot wake

Drown me! I'm flooded in pain
Please help me regain
Some peace, some rest 
I want to die to live again

Set me free 
Slitting my wrists isn't working
The more stares I get
The more I become numb
I just need to be gone
Eliminate my pain, 
I'm already out of breath 
Suffocating on my hopelessness

Every day I am alive 
But I'm craving to die inside
Curved smile because your so naive
You think I'm happy 
Yet I'm being crushed
My head is overflowing 
With these thoughts that are too much

One word, suicide
Sparks a light inside of my eyes

I don't want to pretend to live
Let me go, flood me in sin
There is where I want to swim
Six feet under the ground

Don't be selfish 
And keep me in pain
To tourture my lifeless body again
Let my body float soundly
Rushing water, ocean salt
I promise I won't feel it at all.

End it, hold me under 
Then bury me so I can slumber
Goodbye lifeless eyes
As I'm dying I'll be coming alive
Haunting images 
Deleted from my mind
Laughing 
As I leave this world behind

Water 
Floods my lungs 
Death 
Leans in for a kiss

Together we sink into insanity
And drown in infinitys abyss. 


Details | Free verse | |

First Born

I could not sleep that night...

Alone you made the awesome leap
          between here and there.
Just past the last breath
Your soul traversed infinity.
Did you cry out...
Or was no sound allowed?

I laid awake...
No prayer upon my lips,
My brain besieged by mindless things.
Why did I not sense 
The passing of your spirit's sweetness
           in the dark?


Details | Free verse | |

Empty Glass

My sad, deplorable glory is a nightmare for another This knowing is sickening to the bone The need for anothers' pain is like a virus Slitting the veins of truth and delirious want of false Watching the bile flow through I emptied a full, sorrowful glass for you Without even a moment’s glance Your parched lips opened to drink But like poison the sustainable exhalation surrounded your body I shrank at the shrieks of your disquietude Not knowing what to do Expression died with the loss of flow I couldn’t flourish in the bleak winters of your loss I couldn’t grow All happiness in a flash of susceptibility Turned to woe I gave into thinking it was all an unworthy dream But the answers, the symbolism was never clear The loss of your very soul is what I fear I never meant to poison you in what I take as nourishment And here now you rot At the expense of these sad, empty tunes They must mean close to nothing to you Pain Pain Why do I revolve around the pain? The empty glass of your spirits remains stained With the insides of all things true Torn away Smothered in a ghostly, ghastly gore I couldn’t see you could not take it The sorrow I meant to erase to fake it But instead make it The reason I live is to sing for you To disintegrate the swelling blue But instead I crawled into your only space Leaving only disgrace The gore splattering in jewels across your face I’ll tell you what All my achievements are naught They are only fakes I am nothing without God’s grace I spurt with illegitimate words and tunes That you can never face! As if by the heaven I inspired I am drunken with your bile Of pride risen above the mile What is this sadness— This anger, this madness? Show me what to do Show me what to say I’ll dispose of all vagaries I dared to feel today And replace it with pain Replace it with pain Discordance from another is my nightmare smothered And this the majority crave The need—the desire for acknowledgement We will take it to the grave I never wanted heartless fame A poison in a cup I never wanted anything Only to fill you up I poured the glass and there it came Just sad, tired air Nothing left to give you Not even the sentiment of a stare The truth is I am scared The truth is I am scared I guess, at times we are all. . . Not there 7/13/13


Details | Free verse | |

The Bird that is Loved and Loathed

It burns and it stings.
It hurts.
More than drowning beneath 
the ice.
More than remaining in a 
kindled flame
She hits and I no longer cry.
Why mother, why? 

It burned and it stung.
The markings remained, 
returned, and were relived
Looking, loving, and little 
known loathing were the known 
ways of living.
Never was their pity for the 
child that cried
Never was their relief for the 
child that tried

You were that lovely bird that 
understood the complications of 
felicity 
Nothing looked the same in 
those dewy browns of yours.
My everbeating would cry tears 
of joy.
The others-they were yet to 
appear.
Caring Mother, o' so fair
 You were that beautiful bird 
filled with care.

The others came and were not 
alone. Their two suitors sat on 
the throne.
Rampage and rage why did you 
come?
I began to wither and wither 
slumping along. So very soon I-
the child of fines- became a 
human raceme. 
The droops of the Lily of the 
Valley became the slumping of 
my heart.
My lovely bird the enemy had 
taken you and the person you 
were is far from near.
For that divine nature left its 
intricate self and you became 
irretrievable my big bird.
All of your fairness died.
With that went my pride.
 
Mother, Mother what moved 
you so? 
Your intense spirt vanished only 
to supplement a monster. 
Mother, Monster and your tar 
filled lungs. 
How did I kill that liver that was 
so, so strong?
The lesson of pain was one you 
came to learn.
My darling bird why did you 
turn?
 
My lovely bird and your big 
brown eyes
I'll tell you once, but never 
twice.
Pain is only a flower for it 
blooms and dies
And a mistake can be killed as 
quickly as lice.
 You dear bird hurt me well. 
Though, haven't you heard?
Weakness is a souls greatest 
strength.
You brought me up, then you 
brought me down.
You haved helped, hurt, and 
hindered my blazing spirit.
A hero in my heart-I left you 
down in your deep black 
slumber. 
Escaping those terrible nights
To go for the town of delights. 


Details | Free verse | |

A Blue Boy's Death Wish

A fragile mind breaks 
Wake upon the rock laden shores
A muffled heart begs to echo
Whispers lost among a velvet chamber

Dusk comes premature time and again
Dropping the curtain on an optimistic sunrise
If you never witness dawn
There is no tomorrow

Always the dreamer aches
Never awake to make real what he desires
The restless corpse walks blind
Dead ends seem fitting for one of the kind

Lost in the labyrinth of strangling vines
Love is the motive and the weapon
Taking root in throats dry from weeping
Sprouts of amnesia in place of smiles
A garden called heartbreak holds onlookers captive
The comfort takes hold, sets in the bones weary of searching
A plea for rest lands on deaf ears

The hollow boy tires of himself
The last request he will ever make
"End me"
Lost and tired
He wishes to be weak no more


Details | Free verse | |

The Setting Sun of Yesterday

Gone too far away,you can’t hear me call,
Beginnings to the end ,I stall,
I wish you were more than,
The setting sun of yesterday
Where do you hide on such a rainy day Monday,
I see now ,it wouldn’t be Heaven without you,
I patiently wait for you,
You who has recently gone,
Only a memory to spare,I wish I had known you more.


Details | Free verse | |

Vertical Lines

Don't forget to cross the Ts
and dot your Is
because if you don't do that
they're just lines vertical on a page.
Lets us forget about the imperfect words
that make us cry
the vertical lines,
like jail bars hold us back.
Stand up and out and roar like a lion!

she is mine, I love her,
but I am quiet,
held back by the vertical lines
the black oily jail bars,
that keep my hear caged in
everytime I cry and people don't listen
the guard taps his nightstick upon
the vertical bars,
the imperfect feelings of pain and sadness
feeling like this it bores me 
feeling like this makes me sick
and I feel myself wanting to vomit
and shake the nervous feeling
of falling into a dark hole,
so I sit behind these vertical lines,
like cocaine lines, ready to snort up your nose,
like cigarettes lined in a perfect and neat row,
like empty wine and beer bottles
littering around my feet.

The vertical lines take me away from reality,
close my already blinded eyes
with a black blindfold.
These jail bars cross my soul,
chain my the ankles and wrists,
and choking me, holding my head under water,
I can't breath!!! Help me!
These vertical bars hold me back in life,
hold my emotions from coming out,
to tell you how I feel for you!
I no more want vertical lines,
I want to be free.
Drive horizontal roads that wined and turn around beautiful mountains
too take a deep breathe and share the beauty
to watch the horizontal horizon.
Too sit on a beach shore and write till the sun goes down
and the mermaids sings cheerful tunes
that uplift my spirits and break the remaining vertical lines
that bind and hold my heart in place.

There is nothing beautiful in a straight line,
let alone a vertical one.
Horizontal, vertical all bad in their own ways,
always trapping us, like jail bars or barbwire that streches across the open lands.
Love has no lines,
no boundaries,
so why should I have lines that bind me together
holding my head underwater,
till a spark lights a powder keg and blows me sky high
and I finally set myself free
and roam the horizon for ever.


Details | Free verse | |

The Rat Race

As a child, I had much to do
Crushed it, when I tried to grew
Participant of the Rat Race, I am
Suddenly everything was scattered away

Now when I try to think of you
And calculate what went wrong
Where was my mind that day?
Why everything went so wrong?

After endless struggle, when I dream
Those equations , cry and scream
My demand curve went wrong way
And that was the end of everything 

The sweet little Tom & Jerry
still playing with no worries
Then my mind cries and says
those days are so far away

Every-time when I think of it
I think as I'm a liar and cheat
After this endless bargaining 
Life ends here.... Screaming


Details | Free verse | |

Open Up Your Heart

I’ll catch you before you run away
Open up the corridor of my mind’s eyes
Gottah wake up…
Gottah wake up
Gottah wake up and sift out these lies
Don’t run away…
Don’t run away…
Don’t run away this fine day, no one says their goodbyes

Open up your heart 
Open up your heart 
Open up your heart to me and I’ll see your significance
Open up…open up…I know it’s difficult, but it’s meant to be
To open up…open up…you’re like a house without an entrance
You’re like a locked door and I foolishly lost the key

These scars won’t heal at all,
Can’t help but be in this helpless state
The stars dim when city lights illuminate 
Hold on to the bars – hold on to me, my love
I’ll try to mend your scars – I’ll fix your broken wing, my dove
Please wait for me till the dawn burns like Mars
It won’t harm us, my angel, casting miracles upon me from above

No one utters a word
No one utters a word
No one waves their goodbyes
Flee like a bird
Flee like a bird
Flee like a blue jay, 
Floating approvingly in this very hour…
It seems to be nighttime, kicking in
That very absurd… but I won’t be sour 
Just keep flapping those wings and let the flight begin
I’m shattered today…
By your senseless, unforeseen absence 
Might as well fly away
Into the clouds, absorbing penitence  

Open up your heart 
Open up your heart
Take heart! Take heart! 
Don't be cruel-hearted
Open up your heart
Release your warmth 
Embrace me with arms wide open
Arms wide open 
Arms wide open
Open up your heart  
Open up your heart to me and you’ll soon find your sovereignty
Open up…open up…I know it’s difficult, but it’s worth the price
To open up…open up…you’re like a giver than gives halfheartedly 
You’re like a wolf in sheep’s clothing – you never take anyone’s advice 

The night devours the day 
The day bows down to the night
Can’t help but be overwhelmed with dismay 
You’re a candle in the dark; you’re my reliable compass,
All throughout the night, you make me feel alright
Feel alright...I needed your guidance
Your guidance...to protect me from the hungry wolves,
Looking for their prey - those puny sheep
Oh! I can't see! It's pitch dark in here
My heart is racing rapidly with endless fear
But, God will bless me with his miracles in no time
Wait till great fate falls upon us...it will be so, so sublime!!
Revealing to me the right pathway beyond the abyss
Hold on to the rope of hope – hold on to me, my love

I’ll try to mend your scars as soon as possible 

If I had healing powers, none of this would be impossible


Details | Free verse | |

CHILDREN OF THE WAR

They are born and grow
in a violent time
with little to eat
nowhere to sleep
men come with the guns
and take Them away
They have nothing to say
just only obey
A men throws for Them 
some crumbs to eat
some old rusty bread
and a spoiled meat
at least They have roof 
over their head
one old dirty blanket
one old dirty bed
They know They will have to
do what They were told
if not, for a piece of gold
for sure They are will be sold
They are very young
and They are all alone
no mother or father
because They are all gone
They have no choice
to only obey
and do exactly 
what the man say
the man with the guns
and power abuse
They have no say
and They can’t refuse
it is such a shame 
for others to know
and turn their heads away
and just let Them grow
with violence and crime
against Their own
no piece no love
just the violence 
only They know
there is no escape
only pain and sore
this are the Children
Children of the war

Working on editing this one...


Details | Free verse | |

Self Harm

i've been quiet too long i need to be vocal
while i remain drug free and teetotal
a blade is something i need to be close to
need a magic telescope i can see hope through

first time i did it.age 15 when my dad died
i swear my pen and pad cried
they were jealous i had a new "friend"
i just wanted my pain to end

my parents gave me away to strangers
growing up in care
filled with pain,sadness and anger
only the blade was there

i had no one to talk to
only my Nikes understand what i had to walk through
it seems once you do it
the blade seems to stalk you

don't ask how could i do it to myself
when no one knows the pain i felt
everyday being called a freak and emo
i was lost.but you were too busy trying to find Nemo

please tell me more about the attention i'm seeking
when i was going through it
not once did i ever mention or speak it
my pain and hurt forced me to do it

i haven't self harmed in over 2 years
overcome all of my pain hurt and fears
relapsing is the only fear i have left
but before i do that i'll of reached my death


Details | Free verse | |

Righteousness- An Irony for The Few



Righteous World!!!
Indeed!!

The Righteous, who are proud as they know it!
Are the foulest of them all!

"The Few" seeks refuge under the veil of transgression.
The Righteous or 'The Rightful' as they call themselves bolts in from nowhere.

'The Rightful' are too proud,
They speak too loud,
For the achievements which 'they' think has made them proud.

"The Few" fall under their domain.

The Righteous in the course of time forget to teach what is necessary,
As forgetting is a hideous mistake.

And forgetting in the nick of time is more than a mistake.

Since, to err is to human,
But to err again is not rightful.

So, "The Few" eventually rides the wave of rebellion.
But, The Righteous appearing again, 
Chides "The Few" of doing anything righteous.
Since, righteous according to them is not righteous as they think to be.

Chiding regularly according to them is the most righteous thing.

But they forget, that mistakes once heaped into a pile turns into filth.

But "The Few" knows what it is to be righteous.

As, obligation comes into play in shaping the so called Righteous people.

"The Few" gets crushed in order to become people of honour under the righteouses.

For, it is according to these righteouses, "The Few" become the downtroddens.

And it is for this very reason,
In this very season,
"The Few" becomes the rebellions.  
 
 


Details | Free verse | |

Not Raised from the Dead

When all is said and done

you've stopped breathing 

nearly six days ago

 

visions of raising you

three years ago

it's all about psychology

you know

 

denial in the mind

is a powerful thing 

make believe

 

delusions

sometimes of grandeur

wreak havoc

in consciousness

 

God said:

"Make deciples  of all nations,

heal the sick and raise the dead."

 Context matters here. 

 

You're missing something

but you need to find it

for yourself

 

I can't tell you

even though I know

something other than

what you think

is true 

 

God's wisdom is

mysterious.


Details | Free verse | |

Lying

If I
Just start lying
Face-down
On the ground,
Motionless,
Not making a
Sound,

I wonder
How many
People will
Stop
And stare
And walk
Pass by
Like they 
Have seen 
Nothing.

I wonder 
How long,
How much time,
How many years,
Decades,
Or centuries
I will 
Have to wait
Until someone comes
And asks
Whether I
Am breathing.


Details | Free verse | |

A Road Still Driven

At dusk`s eerie cry: We rise. Winds prevailing in no direction, hurricanes lacking a calm eye. Twilight walkers deceased in spirit. Our quest begins. A damned trade trailing on quicksand. Plummeting on a city pavement. Eyes gape reflecting thought- disdain in decent women, impertinence from men, boys tremble. All screech- "Woman of the night." IN DISGUST. Even I aspire for a stable port. Dreams of discovering the land of Home. My lewd road still shamefully driven Only comfort a compass without North needle.


Details | Free verse | |

This World is Mine

Ignoring our fragile Eco system
has proved costly to mankind
with extreme weather we see now
Remember this world is not just yours
but mine.

To the greedy profiteers 
making money causing people
and animals to suffer and die
you will pay for your crimes
Remember this world
is not just yours but mine.

Polluters of our precious earth
the rivers and seas in our times
Remember this world
is not just yours but mine.

Destruction of our rainforests
leaving indigenous people
and wild animals without a home
how you sicken me
leave them alone.

It's not always the big things
like murder and hate 
that makes this world a colder place
but also the little things
peoples attitudes have changed
and show an unfriendly 
societies face.

We have more than enough food to go around
bit throw so much away
while the people who need it most
starve to death each day.

Society demands perfection
from imperfect humans
TV and the media spread propaganda
that causes brainwashing and spreads fabrications
causing misery and anger.

Where are the positive role models
to feed young peoples minds
not the sexual overt
cant care less so called stars
so prevalent in our times. 

It's such a shame
We spend more on war
than fighting disease and finding
a cure
not in my name.

There is only one answer
and what we see today
was predicted so long ago
God won't put up with this much longer
and will put things right
but when nobody knows.

But until then to the wicked people
stop destroying our earth
you'll soon pay for your crimes
and remember
this world is not just yours
but mine.


Peter Dome.copyright.2014. Jan.


Details | Free verse | |

breathe, suffocate


velvet tears slip down my cheek.

a gentle cry.

and the wet drops seep in the corners of my mouth

until

my lungs are full of my own salty, crystalline tears,

bringing buoyancy to boats that sail inside my veins.

as a rule, I try not to cry.

if a single tear is shed, who is to say that another will not follow?

compelling the rest to join

until I’ve immersed myself in the sea I’ve incepted,

and soon

all I see are the opalescent peaks of water colliding with my skin.


Details | Free verse | |

little pale lies


sometimes, i get a wave of sadness over me.

i love you, and i want to be with you,

but

you deserve someone

a little less neurotic

and

a little more normal.

someone who is honest when she whispers, “I’m so happy”

under the covers.

you make me happy.

but you shouldn’t have to change me like that.


Details | Free verse | |

Everlasting Candle

"Hello?"
"Hey, I've missed you. Can I see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah, when I get off the bus!"
"Okay I have a present for you. See you then!"
Anticipation. A meeting long sought after.
Phone's distant ring.
"We're going for a ride. Put your shoes on."
A father and daughter head into the night.
Empty company. Words go unspoken.
"She's in the hospital. She was hit by a car."
Confusion. Sorrow. Anger. Rage.
"Don't let her mother see you cry."
Strength found somewhere. Arrival.
Room coated in silent sorrow.
"They said there's hope. She had a brain wave."
Hope. Wonder at what that thought was.
A warm summer day running in the woods.
Sorrow shattered by oncoming traffic.
"I'm so sorry."
Enraged eyes meet the driver. 
The woman cries, ashamed.
"Its okay. She'll be okay."
A misplaced hug. A lesson in judgement.
"Sam. Do you want to see her?"
Not like this. 
A long walk. Endless abyss. Tearing thoughts.
"Don't be afraid."
There through the door with handle brass.
My beautiful friend's body turned to glass.
"I won't say goodbye."
Refusing to cry. Just as father said.
"We have to go home. We'll come back tomorrow I promise."
Journey back filled with empty company.
Hollow. Out of place. A need to be alone.
Give me space!
Somehow sleep's darkness finds.
My space invaded. No! Shut up! Go away! 
"Sam, I'm sorry. She didn't make it."
Tears. Each one a memory.
Meeting in fourth grade. Sharing the same name.
Sticking up for one another. Playing a simple game.
Long afternoons in the sun. Never once had a fight.
She found out I was afraid of the dark. So she'd be my light.
"She was amazing. So young. My condolences."
A funeral filled with sadness so thick.
I gazed upon her body. Peaceful. 
"She made this for you."
A bracelet. Her present.
The facade shatters.
It's too much to handle. 
How can one's soul fire ever dance...
Without it's everlasting candle.


Details | Free verse | |

Passion And Shame Torment Him

otra vez,otra vez` I do, say and say again I am the rock star of the ring I risk my life again and again for fame, Some might think of my passion As just being poetic and practical Or simply culture or unethical However, nevertheless not when my life is on the line Stronger than a herd of Buffaloes Faster than the Speed of a race horse, He is now broken free of his corral A streak of fury, rushes me Despite my fear of dying, My main focus is to Take the bull down by its horn >> I looked deep into his eyes, I saw mingling of rage I carefully swung the cape, A taunt of furling red Aiming for its horns The crowd roars, while The old ladies sob for the bull The men cheers for Salvatore the Matador Nothing more stimulating than the ladies with the beautiful smiles The bull is going to die


Details | Free verse | |

You're My Plague

You plague me with your sweltering disease My heart throbs in unease You carry me off to a far-off island Your breeze keeps me flowin’…scraping sand Your names escapes my lips I tell myself, “Get a grip, dude…” But you decided to intrude... My blood drips to the floor I’ve been losing balance… The instant you pushed me aside Your quietude devours me… I can’t help, but hide… I feel horribly disheartened…feelin’ too insignificant To start my day with a good note Too discouraged to be motivated to run… You trade me your pain in the past I consume it like a bear My stomach is churning persistently…you’re running too fast… I’m dowsed in despair My eyes stare vacantly…into space…they roam happily Your vigilance keeps me safe and sound…I dwell in your tranquility Your dreams caress my own… This intriguing comfort never makes me feel alone I’m under your dazzlin’ spell… This is heaven – not living hell! I’ve been bruising myself over you…for a while now The moment you abandoned me that night… Your rejoicing mends my gash…heals my mind… I think better of you – everything’s black and white I feel so exquisite when I’m around you… So inspired to reveal my might…just shine your light On me…and remember to meet me at sun rise… But I still feel malnourished… By your sweltering disease My heart refuses to beat in perfect rhythm – my high hopes nearly perished By your forceful breeze…pushing me on my knees I’m stumbling off my feet – I’m not at all pleased I’m not in the mood to be teased… I’m suffering…I’m not discreet How did you push me off my feet? Why do you make ME feel so damn miserable and incomplete? You plague me with your sweltering disease My heart pounds as I fall upon my blood-stained knees You carry me away to an unknown place Your voice still rings in my ears… I glance at your admirable face I’ve faced you way too many times – Your sparkling with majestic brilliance and pure grace


Details | Free verse | |

Bitter Endings

You are dead now and I am sorry,
For all of the things you thought I should have been,
For all of the things you wanted me to be for you,
I hope that you feel your burden of life is lifted,
And shared by a circle of angels.

For you were once a kind lady,
Fun and laughter were your glow,
A proud and caring grandmother,
Funny stories- I remember, 
The only person I knew who ate egg and chips on Christmas Day,
And wore bright colors in her hair.

You sat by my dog and held his head whilst he died,
Because we were far away, 
You spoke kindly of me once,
Made me believe I was beautiful,
I know you loved music and a pint of lager in your hand,
And your Welsh accent rang out at many a merry gathering.

Yet even though you are gone,
I cannot pretend it was all happy memories,
It would be a lie and I won’t tell it,
Just because I’m sorry you are dead.

You were often cruel,
You humiliated the ones I love dearly,
Expected our lives to fit perfectly with yours,
You lost many who loved you,
Pushed them away and made them feel small.

But I forgive you because I know,
That your unkindness came from an unhappy place inside of you,
And you suffered greatly for it at the end,
I hope you can forgive yourself,
For refusing to be loved and healed.

I hope you find the peace you wanted,
Wherever you may be now,
I hope the world turns how you wish it to,
Now that you have left it far behind.

Most of all I hope,
That your soul can move beyond all of the bitter endings you created,
And find love and kindness once more,
So that we can remember you fondly and talk of you gladly. 


Details | Free verse | |

Awakening

Are we awake or are we still sleeping?
Blind to the hurt, and deaf to the weeping.
Ashamed of religion and supportive of the new,
Aware of the lies and hidden from what’s true. 

Worship the evil and turn away the pure,
Developing disease with an unknown cure.
Starving the poor and overfeeding the wealthy.
Killing the sick and drugging the healthy. 

Going to war for some kind of power,
Building tall structures over all types of flower.
Cutting the trees and polluting the air,
All out of greed, with no sort of care. 

Turning us against our own, 
And help from up above.
Making us beings of hate,
Instead of ones of love. 

Demonizing the mystic,
Criticizing the wise.
Making our own family members,
Into people that we despise.

Awaken to the torment, 
Be aware of all the pain. 
Those who are misleading,
And claiming that we are insane.


Details | Free verse | |

Sleeping Kate -extended version-

-I love the simplicity of the old one. But this extended version is special, I think...-


Caskets unmade 
Naked bodies sprawled in waste
Yellow, white and pale brown skins all in one
Emaciated fear lingering in the pale eyes

Spines tingle at the crunch of excessive skeletons
Grimy boots unmercifully stomp

Nostrils used to the stench
Ready or not, embracing the ash
Afraid to express
Afraid to breathe
Unable to stop the grief

Colder eyes than the dead themselves look on
They are bored, it seems
Untainted by the sound of groans
Unmoved by the crack of weak spines
Spineless themselves, these guards even smile
Frozen, blue eyes iced with a sneer
Black, demonic pupils steadied overtime
The corpses reflected in their transparent gloss

Teeth grind

A young boy picks up a dried hip bone
Small, calloused fingers clutch the last of his father
The eternal frowned mouth is caked with drool, tears and muck
Hair whitened as if ghosts have stolen his youth
This bone is jagged and worn
Once used by force as a bowl for his insect-infested meal
Shakily given to Her—the last She would eat
Before the officials watched Her slowly starve 
Today the bone will be used as a shovel—his final labor
Last effort for closure

The boy knows they are all looking
Both the enemy and the oppressed unified
All experiencing, all watching
He simply knows that overtime,
Tears of hope will decompose the hardest of hearts

And the boy drives his shovel into the hard ground
Pounding away at the chilled, blood-stained soil
Drowning out the groans with his own cries
Flooding the dryness with his sorrows
Breaking up the surface to bury Sleeping Kate

Sleeping Kate showed the officers
The skeleton she built out of bone fragments
Sleeping Kate told them we were all the same inside
With this truth, she died
With their guilt, they continued life
They tried. . .

The officers tried to bury Sleeping Kate
But Sleeping Kate is always alive,
Building skeletons in their minds. . .


Details | Free verse | |

A battered old saucepan

It may seem strange to write about a battered old saucepan
but this was no ordinary one 
it sprung a leak the other day
sadly without thinking
I threw it away
and now it's gone.

It had been in my family
before I was born
and it was used every day
it broke my heart after
to throw it away.

For all the delicious soups goulash and past
it had contained
the mouth watering delectable smells
from the kitchen
the shouts from my parents

''Come on now set the table dinners made''.

All the red hot broths and porridge we'd scoff
before school on a winters day
all the laughs tears and conversations around
the dinner table before it was was washed
and put away.

It was more than a simple saucepan
because it held a lot of family memories
now my parents sadly passed away
it was one of the last things to remind me
of how things used to be
and mow I have to buy a new one
and accept it's demise
like my family
it's gone forever.

Peter Dome.copyright.2012.


Details | Free verse | |

Am I Still Forgiven

I did it again; I need forgiven.
Will He still forgive me even though I've fallen before?
I've fallen into these same sins countless times before;
I still haven't learned my lesson.
I am an ignorant hypocrite.
Am I still forgiven?


Details | Free verse | |

I am sorry for leaving u

I am sorry for leaving u

cause we cant be together, 

i am sorry for leaving u, 

cause i want u to stride further, 

i am sorry for leaving u, 

cause if i don't, 

the world would start leaving u, 

i am sorry for leaving u, 

cause i don't want u to lose

which was so hard to achieve, 

i am sorry for leaving u, 

without a goodbye, 

cause i was afraid your tears might stop my try, 

i am happy to leave u, 

with others to take care, 

with a request to forget me as a nightmare


Details | Free verse | |

THE STOLEN GOODS

Brown hands are red in the white sea
Picking white things in the scourging yellow
Tired drops of sweat fall from the bodies

Skin deep beauty stolen from the Mother Land
Forced to travel in hell on water
Brought to the White Land to serve the superior

Cry little girl don't you stop
For your mami and daddy are rotting fruits on a tree
Soon master will grab your brown neck with his white claws

Billie Holiday sweetly sang in Strange Fruit:
"Scent of magnolias, sweet and fresh
Then the sudden smell of burning flesh"

The stolen bodies only plain existed in life
But now they are spirits and alive in death
For in Heaven power voices sweetly sing FREEDOM AT 
LAST!


Details | Free verse | |

Vicissitude

It wasn't quick
but it seemed to happen so.
The indecisive thoughts soon became quite clear,
but not exactly as crystal would be.
It's easy to see
why it could be frowned upon;
many have ended hurt,
scarred,
and even put to eternal rest.
However, she was undaunted;
she knew her misconceptions could only be 
beneficial.
A swift turn and a venturesome soul
shaped her into a beautiful love song,
a hysterical vision of black and blue.
Throughout the tough goings
and a shattered lullaby or two,
she settled, though erratic,
into a breathtaking work of art
made of misfortunes and lust.
"Change has come and left,
but it shall never be truly gone,"
She cried in her lucid dreams
of the present.


Details | Free verse | |

Pogo

Excited yelps
As I walked up the driveway
Towards the door
In less than a few seconds
My troubles melted away
Me the most important person
At least in your world

You never tired of me
You hung on my every word
Never demanded what I couldn't give
If need be you would have waited a thousand days
To see me, be with me
Feel my hand on your head 
scratching behind your ear
all you wanted was to be sitting near

Since you were a pup
We'd been the best of friends
Now all I have is your empty bed
Reminding me I miss my friend


For Contance's Elergy Contest.
Written November 7th 2013



Details | Free verse | |

Scars Left Behind

It is hard not to trace back 
All those memories
Which you kept behind you 
While you were dreaming in your trip.
Those long moments when you grieved
Those short moments when you breath’d.
From here I can hear some voices of your trip
From there there were no choices in your grip.
Just listen to those immense fragile noises:
When you kept crying,
Laughing, trying and maybe dying
Perhaps I was you— when you were lying
To your thinghood...!

Womanhood is like Robin Hood—
It is always chased in the wood.
Many trees are cut off without roots,
And shall never give birth to the last roots.

When the sun goes down
I pretend to be sad,
So that my night dreams
Are filled of stars instead.

When the moon goes up
I play the role of the dead—
When the moon goes up
I close my eyes and go to bed 
When the moon goes up
I beat my heart and feel so sad
Is there any way to see the moon smile without dread?


Yasser Rhimi


Details | Free verse | |

Boys and Fools Dedicated to Aunt Dorothy

When I was a boy I thought money grew on trees
I thought my mother could do everything

cook dinner for six children
buy me all the toys I wanted
and do my homework
which she would not

When I was a boy I thought my teacher as my father
I thought he would tuck me in at night

take me to the ball games
answer all my silly questions
and buy me all the banana splits I could eat


When I was a boy I thought as a boy
A five block radius in North Philly 
was my world 

I walked home from school for lunch
played with my brothers and sisters during the summers
and sat on the stump until 9pm
Go over Aunt Dorothy's for family gatherings

Next door neighbor lived alone and gave us loose chain
to buy candy and potato chips
I saw white people when my mother would take us
downtown to buy clothes for back to school

When I was a boy I thought as a boy
One time we put a stray dog in crate and threw it down
the basement of an abandoned house
We would later return to see if the dog had died
but it did not

When I was a boy I was afraid to die
and prayed to god that I would live to age 95

When I was a boy I thought I was a man
but men do not do foolish things

I think of the boys in my life
who think that they are men
but boys do not do foolish things


Details | Free verse | |

The Wilted Flower

“The Wilted Flower”

I have a distant memory 
Which increasingly fades with time
Of a seemingly different life
when I was happy without strife
I smiled without guilt
I loved and accepted all
I did not care what others thought
Because I liked myself
But then I let the world in
My tragic and grievous mistake
If I could go back, I'd change my choice
And not succumb to their sweet, but poisonous words
They could not stand it
Seeing me so joyous
Didn't you know 
that love is dangerous?
Fearing the power that I contained through this beautiful feeling
They convinced me I would be better off if I fit in
They pointed out my flaws
Made me feel worthless
Broke me down beyond repair
Then rebuilt me in their image
Like a flower shielded from the sun, I began to wilt
I changed into a person I could no longer recognize
No longer the person I wanted to be, but the person others told me I should be
I became tired, dazed, drained, defeated
Lost in a hellish maze with no escape
I gave in
Did what they told me
Listened to them
Became a perfect copy
Now I am skinny
                and pretty
                       and
                            dead.

~Serena Mott


Details | Free verse | |

The Best of You

What do you do?
When your best isn’t good enough
Where do you hide?

When you’ve stretched yourself
To very limit of endurance
When you’ve poured out your love
To the very last drop
When you’ve sacrificed
To within a breath of your life
Where do you go?

How can you live?
How can you feel?
When the best that you have
Is just not good enough
To make him love you

Where do you go?
Where do you hide?
When your most precious gifts
Are left unopened
The receiver convinced
That they’re just not good enough
To meet his needs
Gratify his desires
Fill his hunger
Thrill his mind

Where do you go?
Where do you hide?
When you no longer have
Anything to give
Because the best of YOU
Just wasn’t good enough
For HIM.

Eileen Manassian Ghali


Details | Free verse | |

Sweet Bitterness

Two souls closed off from love
Met on a lonely path
Passion emptied into affection;
We fell hills over in love.
At the touch of love
Our heart melted to the ground;
We felt we had found something endless
Alas! It was all, but flurry
Darkness fell on a broad day light!
The golden calabash was broken!
She journeyed to sleep in paradise!

I never knew the Sun could bleed!
The news hit me like a thunder
It opened the gate of pain in my heart;
The pains pierced through like a smoke
A flood of tears flowed……..
My heart quaked in uproar
A storm of rage blew up my vessels
Gruesome hue of red covered my eyes
I dangled on the edge of life
Where my solace was silent memories
Of her hushed voice whispering into 
My anxious ears.

Moving on became cold comfort
My mood turned a chameleon more often 
Than the damn lotto changes numbers
She was the life that I found,
But I never lived…….
She broke my code of love,
Penetrated every shade of my being,
But left me in hunger for love
When my voracity emptied into passion.


Details | Free verse | |

The Black Abyss

Sinking in deeper,
No way to escape,
The dark and scary Reaper,
Fore told in the Book of Life.

Is this my end?
Will I ever see the light of day again?
No. My wounds, I must mend.
I must find my strength.

Stand my ground,
Face my fears.
Only then will my voice be found
I must survive.

Break the suffocating chains,
Run from the darkness.
Power will fill my veins.
I will Fight!

Fight the painful names,
The horrid memories,
The demented games 
And escape My Black Abyss.


Details | Free verse | |

Newtown

Please wake me up,
From this awful dream,
Sounds of carefree laughter,
Have suddenly become,
Horrifying screams.

Gunfire erupts,
In an unexpected place,
Bullets claiming victims,
While others rush out,
Terror etched upon their face.

Why did the hand of death,
Visit Newtown today,
Mowing down the innocent,
Whose only thoughts involved,
School and friends and play.


Why?  Will we ever know?


Details | Free verse | |

I See You Everywhere

What do I say now? Where do I start?
Without you beside me, I'm falling apart
Thinking of you, know it isn't too smart
But I See You Everywhere, oh my poor heart

Love in her ways
She drifts slowly past me
A spring in her step
Oh she's moving too fastly
Upside down now
She turns my heart and soul
Reflecting in my mind
And in my heart, a hole
Every time she crosses my mind
I'm reminded of the pain
No chance to love her
She'll forget my name

So what do I say now? And where do I start?
Because without you beside me girl, I'm falling apart
Thinking of you, I know it isn't too smart
But I Still See You Everywhere, and oh my poor heart


Details | Free verse | |

Paramour

His brown eyes
She still feels them looking at her
His smile
She still see them smiling at her

She still remember their first time together
She still recall his touch
and she fell in love

The world was perfect
the colors were alive and vibrant
She was in love

He was a beautiful stranger
A stranger that caught her untamed heart
She was so in love

She remember how he cared about her
She remember the sound of his heartbeat
or was it just a make believe?

She thought he was her hero
didn't he try to rescue her?
and she gladly ran to him.

She thought his arms are her castle
as her head rest on his chest
there is no sky she couldn't fly

but she never knew..
She wish she had
the shadow of someone she thought he'll never be..

She thought he was her Knight..
but she didn't see..
the same knight whose sword is meant to bring death to her heart..

to him, she was nothing but a Paramour..


Details | Free verse | |

Death Has Come

Death Has Come

So much pain
For so long
Too many days
He lay there

Death has come
Quietly
So still 
Pain no more

Shed not tears
He’s free now 
No Pain
At Peace

Sorrow for the loss
I shed tears
I grieve
Consoled by friends

We remember
Happy days
Good times
Love and joy


Details | Free verse | |

BATTLES

I cut my hair.
I screamed out loud.
I've scarred my wrist.
And in not proud.
But I'm stuck in this dark place,
my eyes pinched tight.
I'm afraid to step out.
Out into the light.
First my grandpa, 
Then the women I love.
My cousin,
My aunt,
They're resting above.
They all died and now another.
he was so close he could've been my brother.
I'm sick of the doctors.
I'm tired of death.
why can't I forget.
I yelled,
I fought.
I cussed,
I cried.
Sometimes I feel like I died inside.
I hate that God took them. 
I wish he let them stay,
But I'm glad they're now out of their pain.
I wear dark clothes.
And my make up is smeared.
But I miss her hair.
His smell.
His beard.
I'm done with funerals. I'm done with my food.
I want to be with them.
But I don't want to lose.
I won't give in to death. I'll fight my wars like them.
I'll bring the light through this darkness and rain.
I'll survive through this pain...


Details | Free verse | |

The Shade of Blue

The sun is the spotlight…when I perform a fabulous song
It’s like a disco ball above my head
Swarms and swarms of fans surround me
As I swiftly walk up on stage without hesitation
My heart is pumping rapidly with anticipation 
The city lights aren’t in use…but the artificial lights are shown
The spotlight shines down on me…
Like the smiling sun when I trek the mountains happily
But, you are the moon,
You are the shade of blue...don't feel guilty
You are the beautiful shade of blue...I want you to see
I want you to see
How amazing and wonderful you are to me
I followed your voice…
I followed His voice…
Leaving me time to rejoice
Not manipulating me like a worthless toy
I'm no longer an immature boy,
But a mature, sympathetic guy 
I know I can be pathetic...but I don't easily cry
Don't weep, you strong sheep
Just keep grazing in the land of delight, not lament
We both got to repent...
'Cause you and I have taken him for granite
Now, we're the shade of blue
It sounds so familiar
It’s very impressive and peculiar
Swarm around
Swarm around me
Don’t make a sound…
You buzzing bee – 
Don’t sting me with your jealousy
I’d rather hear you delightfully sing in harmony
With me…I wish it was meant to be
Don’t chase away our vibrant victory
You can share it with us…
I won’t mind handing you a portion of ecstasy  
You’re a story that I’ve read 
When I get up on my somewhat neat bed
I’ve read you many, many times already
I’ve noticed a difference in you…please forgive me for being too carefree!
In my heart’s opinion, you are as moving and clever as awesome rhymes
How many times…how many times…
Do I have to remind you about that? 
Do you need a thinking hat? I’ll chase after you like a cat,
Trying to catch the rat
By the tail…but it becomes a fail 
Our friendship will never decay or become stale
Like milk that gets left on the counter for hours or days…
Have I ruined your self-esteem? 
I don't scare if you lash out at me or scream
In my face...I need to have a hint that you need space
I know I can really hit a soft spot...but I wanna know just in case:
Is everything OK or what?
What's happening in your life, dear friend?
Did I make you feel worse? i didn't mean to offend...
I'll try to be kinder to you
For you can't help being the shade of blue
But, if you need someone to talk to about anything,
Speak your mind...I'm opened to most everything! 
I’ve been scattering everywhere like cheerios on the kitchen floor
Don’t lose contact with me…
I want you to stay next to me today


Details | Free verse | |

In My Mind

Within the passage of time
I see you, my enchanted ecstasy,walking
Down a cobblestone street in silhouette.
Carefully placed footsteps echoing the
The pavement without the slightest of regrets.
Through the faint gas lit corridor
Vintage smells and a whispering wind
Accompany me.
Now matter where I go -
No matter when I go –
Footsteps going forward
Revealing the past.

In a cumbersome transom blended 
With a tap-ta-tap, tap-ta-tap
Of a horse drawn carriage –
Therein our song is revealed.
Where else but in music do thoughts 
Blend reality with emotions?
There in my mind’s eye
Tap-ta-tap,
tap-ta-tap,
tap-ta-tap.

Do I have any life but this?
If not - let me lead it from here.
No death there be ‘lest
Dispelled from there.
Nor any ties to earths to come.
Nor any action in any effort of new.
Except in the blessed extent
In the realm of loving you.

And in my mind’s eye –
The music,
Tap-ta-tap,
tap-ta-tap -
Of cobblestone and hoof –
Ta-tap
Always 
Ta-tap
Returns me to you.


Details | Free verse | |

My renewed bucket list

holding the steering-wheel after a great day with friends touched by enriched with marvelous memories on the backseat a gift-filled hearted creel approaching a round a bout cheerful music pumped up not too loud the feeling of a sudden collision the sound of clashing cars the vision of crashed cars hardly an impact at first sight surfaces of steel undamaged internal fear and fright for a different side driving back in an unknown body holding on to a steering wheel and a navigation-voice hardly able to stay on track with lost rejoice experts talk and tell car's steel-bars need severe bending doors need wrenching a car almost a total loss experts talk and tell driver's spine and neck need severe bending and wrenching shoulders are dismayed a body damaged but not a total loss chained since the momentum and its echo of the clash a minimized world resonates every single day in an overriding way holding on to a new bucket list minimized by fate's unexpected cruel fist a wheel-clamped driver with a quartered back that ruffles and shuffles a shaken neck with loosened ends no longer a fence nor a defense for this new kind of pain drives me so often insane a short walk more than one little step too much and too far asking instead of doing stay put instead of going my own way forced to take each and every step one at the time fight and wait hardworker's sweat and another date with devil's lawyer until the day all will be fine again when I will defenitively walk with my dog my usual so familiar rounds on those earlier so nearby grounds I still miss so deeply ©Ellie Daphne


Details | Free verse | |

Hopes

I Just wanted to say you
good bye
But the moment says
hopes are high
May be you turn back
for my sigh
May be it wouldn't be easy
as I see
May be its hard for you
as for me
But the moment says
hopes are high
Don't let these hopes die


Details | Free verse | |

Hard to Not Look, Easy to stay Staring

I've allowed that burning boat to float off without me
Rarely ever thinking about dissipating the flames, 
As it is hardly worth the time and effort. 
In Truth, 
There wasn't much of a future with that situation.
No matter the attempts
No matter the appeal
It was all for naught
The only thing I worry about now
Is looking back at the Flames
And hoping I am not entranced
By their Dancing Light


Details | Free verse | |

Our Divine Haven

This town was the place we used to call our haven 
You don’t remember which road we’ve driven on 
The stars were shining against your cherished soul 
You’re a part of my belongings 
You’re ascending above the ground 
The peace is still like hidden treasure – it’s bound to be found

I believe in you…I put my faith in you
After the miracles you’ve performed 
You don’t agree with what you truly are 
The sky is grieving 
You jump from puddle to puddle
You’re struggling to meet your destiny  
Even if your body is saturated in sweat
You must keep your head above the sea

Follow me and I’ll lead you to divine haven 
Forgive the past that embraces you with remorse and think upon our jubilant future
It’s tempting to just give up and turn around 
I could tell you've been stressing out 
But rest your head on my shoulders and let loose your strain on me  

Each melody is an exquisite sound that bounces into our ears
Commotion and strife will cease and your heart will be free
We’ll flee  together…despite the unwholesome weather 
The voyage has just begun…hold my hand and we’ll rise like the sun
Trust me…we will be strengthened and well-equipped before we take that road of victory  

Follow me and I’ll lead you to divine haven 
Forgive the past that embraces you with remorse and think upon our jubilant future
It’s tempting to just give up and turn around 
You’d rather be drifting away and never be seen again 
I wanna change your mind and erase your frown
Take your mind off of the distressful past
Let loose your strain on me  

Hey! I know you’re stronger than you realize
You’re not a failure – don’t be disheartened  
Don’t worry…you and I will earn our future prize 
This mess will clear up in a moment
Just stay by my side and never depart 
From the light… I promise that we’ll endure till the end
Just stay nearby and our hope won’t tear apart
We are willing to do anything to attain our wishes and delight  
Let’s take action and snatch our glory before our time is up 

Follow me and I’ll lead you to divine haven 
Forgive the past that embraces you with remorse and think upon our jubilant future
It’s tempting to just give up and turn around 
You've been trying to keep a steady pace 
But rest your head on my shoulders and let loose your strain on me

Let loose your stress on me…
Don’t be under pressure
Let me handle your anxiety…
Reach towards our divine haven
Do you need a helping hand? 

I wish you a carefree 
Future


Details | Free verse | |

Death of a Kangaroo

Cobwebs sag, gloomy clouds
like a furrowed brow
loom over the house-
 a kangaroo lies dying on
our country road .
A car's apologeticscreech-
 a deathly thud-
 the twisted scrambling
of a broken creature
And I, watching dumbstuck,
as it sprawls, drawing at
underbrush  with frantic forepaws -
reluctant  to let go of life
and earth

When others of its kind
came back to find its
carcass, devoid of warmth,
they shed opalescent tears of grief

Tears with the scent of eucalypts
and raindrops

A mute devotion
 reflecting
aspects of me


Suzanne Delaney


Details | Free verse | |

Time's Runnin' Out

Time is ticking like a bomb about to blow up into smoke and flame
It alarms me to say this, but how DARE you waste my precious time

Your words could be as sweet as honey or as sour as lime

But I feel like I've been trampled to the ground By grief and gravity... My teeth are wearing off...is there a cavity to be found? Keep me in your memory...
Fulfill me with your graceful glee and vibrant positivity But it ain't no surprise that we all aren't normal and we all are peculiar in our own bizarre ways Sorry to burst your bubble, but haha, yeah...I've been causing mischief and what not I can't face my shattering reality...I can't face the consequences I must face from past downfalls Unless you trade me your ecstasy Abide with me next to sea...and I'll make sure to answer your calls We'll watch the sunset and the gorgeous waterfalls Don't be afraid, baby It's only in your mind...throw your worries out the window and pray for a blessed reality Anxiety is brewing...but you can replace it with last minute hope And I don't have the strength to hold on to the rope Time is ticking like a bomb about to blow up into smoke and flame It's quite alarming to say this, but how DARE you waste my valuable time... Blaming me for your heartless, devious crimes Time is ringing like a church bell chime...it's your time to say goodbye and it's my time to forget your name It's alarming to hear broken records of memory replay in my head...it's almost like committing a wicked crime Time's flippin' like a dime... It's almost crime...


Details | Free verse | |

The Man Who Spoke in Whispers

(for Jim Ducker)


The growth plundered your voice,
robbing it of tone; you spoke
in well-articulated whispers, inhaling
through that tube thing in your throat.

You shone, in spite of it all.
No self-pity, even near the end,
after years of speaking to us
in breaths the way you did –
yet you had a voice, old friend.

Always the bright guy at the bar,
you brought a twinkle
even to a whisper; a susurrus of wit
would penetrate the tedious tones
of those for whom EastEnders
and the latest from The X Factor
provided fodder for barroom babble.

Struggling to be heard but stubbornly
winning with smiles and quips,
you were never less than sparky
with your crackling one-liners
and the percussion of your Good Advice.

Quite suddenly you died;
thirteen months ago you died.
You would not wish me to reach
for a soppy synonym.
You did not pass away:
you died, you died, you died.

I handled your affairs –
so long ago, it seems;
but time and distance are
such fragile things, and grief
is no respecter of them:
whisper its name
and it will return to you.


Details | Free verse | |

Always Thinking of Matter

Anything but quietly
I’m standing in the shade
Fixated on pixels
Lost in the rain
Two counts for one drop
They’re lost in the aisles
Pushing pens bleeding notes
Lost in the files
Structure in contrast
Is taking a bow
Explosions in distant fields
Men running through crowds
Authorities always late
Children in tears
Mothers walk aimlessly
Drenched in their fears
The shadows still stand
Reminding of the lost
Burnt in the ground
They remind us of the cost.


Details | Free verse | |

A Prayer For Healing

Father,
Do not let me be the demon I have created me to be.
I am the product of myself and my negativity.
I trust You.
I love You.
I thank You.
In Your name,
We pray,
Amen.


Details | Free verse | |

THE TREACHEROUS ROCKS I STUMBLE UPON

Seriously wounded as a helpless, moaning soldier
dying on the bloody battlefield,
I tread a trial not foreseen by me...
seeing my expectations wane in blurry visions.


My road was smooth and wide
without perils that a travel often encounters;
your uncaring attitude and oblivion
are the treacherous rocks I stumble upon.


My generosity is not cherished with appreciation,
giving should be a selfless act expecting no returns;
my well overflowed with the purest water,
and I refreshed your thirsty soul in times of distraught.  


Dearest of all, you kept coming back to receive more
and with open hands you waited for your gift, 
I filled them with whatever I had bearing self-need;
sweetest of all, a stained conscience brings on defiled love.


I could beat these rocks with my fist and bleed,
lay down and painfully die to end my frustrations and avoid self-pity;
would it be worth doing it and earn perennial damnation? 
Driving down this road some late morning, you will spot a corpse
unrecognizable as a mingled car that crashed at high speed and not stop.  



Most adored of all, trudge the same road I trudged
and stumble upon the rocks that fell from the mountaintop,
then look at that sheep-shaped sky ready to thunder and explode.
Most loved of all, never fear...my umbrella will shelter you from raindrops.


Inspired by  Chris Aechtner's poem, " Closer "


Details | Free verse | |

Remembered Love

Ashes waft over the meadow 
a jet stream of sorrow, 
beckoning the widow to the 
edge, down to the river. 

Contented epoch, at the 
creek where the wolves run, 
he lived and laughed. 

We watched the bright blue 
stars foxtrot across the milky 
way, a midnight indigo quilt 
shivering with light. 
 
Mountain men whose 
toughened hands cradle their 
violin and mouth harp. Music 
soared amidst craggy 
chiseled countenance. 

We listened to the chaste 
screech of a hawk, the forlorn 
cry of a mountain cat, 
soft snuffling of a bear, 
watery splash of a fish. 

You and I waltzed in the 
meadow; no music needed 
other than the love song that 
pulsed in our hearts. 

Can I have this dance for 
the rest of my life? 
Together it seemed so… 

right, 
wrong, 
simple, 
eternal, 
joyful, 
lonely, 
sad… 

...happily ever after? 

No.

Time enough for us to love, 
laugh, share, be silly, fight, 
forgive, and cry? 
To seethe and despair? 

Yes.

Trisha Sugarek from
Butterflies and Bullets 


Details | Free verse | |

Memories Made

The coldest white had fell
Surrounding all the feet of those behind
The day turned into hours
Just in the mind
Did the gift appear in night?
Or were dreams reality?
Did it come from karma’s hands?
It drifts from sanity

The trek towards that happy place
You’ve been there many times
Something was different now
It held a horrible surprise
The box wasn’t full of life and sound
The ashes of memories made were here
Taking longer to twist the knife
Left remains of a child now in tears

Standing still you couldn’t breath
Excuses flying in your mind
Trying to figure out the scene
Hoping there’s time
You look up to see
Expectant eyes for the last time
You wish you could keep
But it’s the saddest of a smile 


Details | Free verse | |

Forest Fire

I could see her there,
just beyond the window pane,
at the edge,
cradling her entrails like a gift;
swallowing the light of a newborn day.
I wondered what made her do it,
why her tongue had become 
a mirror, refracting her beauty 
back into the world; As a last gasp. 
Merlot tears ran quiet,
her shoulders slumped down slowly,
like crumbling church steeples,
and I prayed, I prayed
I prayed that I would forget
the morning when everything 
finally went dark. 
-James Kelley 2014, All rights reserved.


Details | Free verse | |

Touching the Pain

Feeling Nothing

I am the girl whose brother died.
It is how they introduce me now.
It is the conversation they have in the next room…
a tragedy, so awful, how horrible.
The poor children, how are they?
Oh, too terrible, so awful.

And then me, an unexpected encounter,
Apologies pour from them and I have no umbrella, 
Forgot my plastic boots, there was no time to shop. 

But I have been manufactured, used, discarded.
I am in the landfill of loss.
My whiteness corroded by the filth which surrounds me,
Broken into pieces that can be shifted by the earth,
Pushed away and pulled by birds until there is simply, nothing.

So sorry, so sorry, and a nod.
Some reach out to touch me,
wonder if they can feel the nothing. 


Details | Free verse | |

Protect Me As I Sleep

Nobody 
Knows my real name
‘Angel’ 
Is what I go by
I am freezing cold
I don’t have money
Just, the clothes on my back
I am a walking wardrobe
I am lonely
I smell like crap
I am starving hungry
I can’t find any shelter
My clothes are drenched
I look like a drowned rat!
Violence
Upon women
Is classed normal
Around here!
I wonder...
If
I will survive
Another day?
Only
To wake up
And
Do this
All over, again!
“Protect me tonight
As,I lay my head to rest”
“I love you, dear God”

“Goodnight”


Details | Free verse | |

Beloved Friend I Have Fallen

An angel, cradles me, in her motherly arms
I have fallen, I am venerable 
I told myself, I would not do this, no more
I have failed to keep my promise, to you
I have not stayed true
Tears flowing, as I smile, just, for you!
Remembering the times, when you cupped my face, in your hands
Your blue eyes, gazing into mine
Telling me with sincerity
‘I am the sunshine, that lights up your world, each day that dawns’
My heart aches, it rains with love, having fond memories of us
Wash me clean, being human, is challenging me!
Emotional bondage, creating blocks
I need to move on, you are dead and buried
Your time here, over
My heart struggling, accepting this reality
“Forgive me”
I pray to be free!
“I Love you, my beloved, friend”


Details | Free verse | |

Behind Closed Doors

Heart of Gold,
calming tides
holding on, hands intertwined.

The ironman
so bold, so brave.
An injured deer
step forth to save.

No echoing groans.
No sorrowing pleas.
Hard to see what lies beneath.

There are storms and guilt, rejection, betrayal
gnawing and snapping at his core.
But doesn't let a single salty drip ever hit the floor.

This is where he hides,
Behind Closed Doors.




Details | Free verse | |

A Mothers Grief, Rage and Quest

Rage, despair, grief, devastation and regret, flowing like 
hot lava spewing out from a volcano through my veins,
pushing out my red hot blood onto this white leaf;
For suddenly and without any fair warning came,
an enormous black cloud that stationed itself overhead and
obstructed the sun from my first redwood seed in sprout 
and with a great fury it released a violent torrent of rain, 
drenching it completely, until alas my sapling did drown. 

My budding redwood tree, destroyed before its time,
the damage is irrevocable and my sapling is no more.
Like a cannon ball shot from its cannon, fire shoots
from my mouth with all fierceness and in rage I roar….
“Who really is to blame for this unfathomable demise of
my precious sapling, my budding grand redwood tree?
Was it the black cloud with its tools of destruction or
the lack of assiduousness of those with their expertise?”

Yes, regretfully my sapling was not planted by the stream.
As a seed, in ignorance it was sown upon soil rocky and dry;
yet against all odds, my seed sprouted with some foliage,
but its roots did not run deep and so with the specialist I relied
to care and strengthen it so it could withstand the bad elements.
Sadly, they were specialists with an expert eye that could not see,
they were worthless and of no avail, lacking the assiduity needed,
for their eyes, mind and heart were blinded by their own greed.

Rage, despair, grief, devastation and regret, flowing like
hot lava spewing out from a volcano through my veins,
pushing out my red hot blood onto this white leaf.
For the black cloud is now set above me like a fixed stain,
with all might I struggle to escape it’s dreadful grip, but
still it hovers over me obstructing the sun from my days,
releasing a torrent of pain and in the agony of my loss it 
drenches me and the answers to my questions are still opaque.
Oh...but take heed all you with your degree, my roots run deep, 
I will not drown and like a raging bull I push forward so valiantly
for the lucidity of the answers, lucid as a glass made of crystal;
all for the love of my departed budding grand redwood tree.

Written by: Joan Marie Peranteau
copy written  May 3, 2014

Dedicated to and written in regards to my beloved son;
Nathaniel Blaine Gibson


Details | Free verse | |

PAINFUL GOODBYES

Cold body nestles itself in
A cozy warm blanket
Under the spell of a swaying moon
I lose myself in this empty room

Surrounded by darkness
Memories of you that once swoon
Slowly begin to fade
As the hollowness inside
Insists on keeping me awake

Distance so cold
Seeps into my bones as desolate tears
Have penned in my soul
Painful verses and prose

So much time has gone by
I search to find small
Glimpses of our lives entwined
I can no longer make out your face
But a part of me keeps searching to find you anyway

Come morning
I will curse my own life
For who says half dead
Is the same as being alive

So many times I try to wish you away but
For me, it's like you never left my side


Details | Free verse | |

Born Cursed Romantic

Romance that merry happy 
courting dance
for so many
but not for me
it seems
it was never meant to be.

A born cursed romantic
Can't think of hardly anything else
it's ingrained in my brain 
it's posion in my blood
no matter what I do
it's never good enough.

I thought I new what to do
but I'm sick and tired of having
my heart broken into
And boy does it hurt
I've been hung up to dry
had my nose rubbed in the dirt.

Everywhere I look
it's sex sex sex
Women showing their bits
couples hand in hand
I don't feel human no more
and feel less than a man.

Girlfriends always told me they loved me
I'd make a great husband
But where are they now?
Somewhere with a troglodyte
who treats them like dirt
and that really hurts.

O.k. Women want to sleep with me
but forget it.
I'm not a piece of meat
I'm a man with a brain and good heart
and by the way
my name is Pete.





Peter Dome, copyright.2014. Jan.



Details | Free verse | |

When the Heart Bleeds

When the heart bleeds
The body is silent
The mind is mute
Unable to send healing agents
Coursing through the veins
To bring healing
The body waits…with baited breath
For an outer force to come to the rescue
To bind up the wound
And bring healing


When the body bleeds
The mind is quick to sends signals
That activate the life giving elements in the blood
To start the clotting process
To stop the vital flow
From ebbing away
And endangering life

Ah…ah….but when the heart bleeds
It beats a requiem without music or words
And the body mourns…
Helpless and torn
There is unearthly silence
Accompanied by tears
For the heart no one can rescue
No one can heal
Except the very one
Who made the heart bleed.

Eileen Manassian Ghali


Details | Free verse | |

Where Are You When I Need You

Don’t pretend to understand me
When your frustration and anger, comes first
Don’t pretend to nod and listen
When all you hear, is what you want
You treat me as if I am a brainless idiot!
Blaming me because I don’t agree with you
Because I won’t let you control me
I am a big girl living an independent life
So, don’t pretend to know how I feel
When you only believe the lies you convince yourself, I am

Don’t say you love me, when your ego takes precedence over my feelings
Dreaming of what you want us to be
Dreaming of me, from a far
Leaving me alone, to problem solve, on my own
I do this to show I care
To show you I am responsible
All I want is for us to be on the same page, sharing our love again
Laughing, kissing
I need your love and attentiveness
I need to feel your nurturing warmth
Instead of taking it away from me
Knowing my vulnerabilities
Deliberately hurting me
You told me you were my knight in shining armour
Where are you, when I need you?


Details | Free verse | |

Pound to the Rhythm of my Heart

Pound to the rhythm of my heart…my heart…   (oooh…oooh…x3)
You pushed me to drink the love potion (for many years)
You let me go and I was rolling away in the death cart
Now, I’m hearing the echoes of commotion (in my ears)
Pound to the rhythm of my heart…my heart…   (oooh…oooh…x3)

Pound to the rhythm of my heart…my heart…   (oooh…oooh…x3)

Take a breath, look at me…don’t you see my misery?
The scent of death – I smell the odor seeping out of your mouth…
I cover my nose…I’m feeling down, sucking up my emotional debris
I am not a coward and I am not scared of you – you made me love you
I’m through with you…I gave up on you – you made me weep tears of rue

Pound to the rhythm of my heart…my heart…   (oooh…oooh…x3)

I’d like to know why you do the things you do
I understand addiction – I’ve been through it too
I’d like to say before I depart from your arms
I will not…I will not…fall victim to your charms

Pound to the rhythm of my heart…my heart…   (oooh…oooh…x3)

Pound to the rhythm of my heart…my heart…
Take a breath, look at me…don’t you see my misery?
You broke my young heart apart…take heart…
The scent of death – I smell the odor seeping out of your mouth…
I cover my nose…I’m feeling down, sucking up my emotional debris
Do you even see the tears rolling out of my eyes? 

Pound to the rhythm of my heart…my heart…   (oooh…oooh…x3)

You really think that I’m a weakling? Didn’t you see my triumphantly soar? 
(I don’t feel sorry for you…you attention whore – why were you the one I 
adore?)
I am not a coward and I am not scared of you – you made me love you
I know my heart is breaking bit by bit, but I’m stronger that I was before 
(I’m not sore anymore – I don’t love you anymore…you hurt me to the core, 
but I opened a new door)
I’m through with you…I gave up on you – you made me weep tears of rue

Pound to the rhythm of my heart…my heart…   (oooh…oooh…x3)

Why am I so indecisive? I should’ve dropped you in the nearest trash bin 
long ago
But I’ll forget and forgive the past and heal my brokenhearted soul – I’ll pull 
out the bad tooth
WHY AM SO FOOLISHLY IN LOVE WITH YOU? I don’t even know where the 
wicked wind do blow
But, I know for a fact that you’ll never meet me eye to eye and tell me the 
truth 

Pound to the rhythm of my heart…my heart…   (oooh…oooh…x3)


Details | Free verse | |

Grief Enough to go Around

Just like you to make a last minute date,
leaving me a quickly scribbled note,
before tossing aside that broken campaign pencil from last year's election--
I remember you snapping it apart 
when you found out your man lost.
I laughed at you peering through your old bifocal glasses,
frame twisted awkwardly, 
making you look somewhat frog-eyed.

"Let's see that production you mentioned.
Meet you at 7:30, the Lyric; dinner afterward."
I did an "Oh, goodie!" and left for work.

You never arrived; cell phone going straight to voicemail. 
I stared at the playbill, September 8, 2001,
gave up and drove home, worried . . .

The police found me here,
telling me the details in their flat, official way;
three days later, your funeral . . .
a whole world grieves with me 
for today American changed,
today, everything changed .  . .

October 3, 2014
For Chopped contest
Sponsor, Craig Cornish


Details | Free verse | |

December the 8th

I used to have an eerie feeling
Of a certain date

Never knowing
Why I felt that way

I had even said
There was something
About it
But I could never
Wrap my head around it.

Such a curious thing to wonder
Why a date in your head
Would be stuck on
For you to ponder

But I realized
I'd come to hate 
That date
Later in my life
When you met your fate
You were taken from me
On December
The 8th
Is it a coincidence
Or a prediction
Of fate?

Oh how...
How much I hate
The date
Of December... 
December
The 8th.


Details | Free verse | |

Sepia stained tears

Sunglass water pails
The cover up, never fails
Draining water from her 
Heartbroken pools
A screaming silence
Blocked behind her 
Tinted view
With a blink, rivers flow
She is lost and all alone
Who is there ?
When there is nobody else
Beside her.

She feels
As separated as her tears
As they are falling
Hope disappears
Collecting pain
Where the hazel pools drain
In her
Sunglass water pails..


Details | Free verse | |

The Journey

From time immemorial your story began
A hundred, a thousand, a million years and more
Your story past written a character just one
The tale of you bleeds into all

Each story unique while pieces the same
Today, tomorrow, millennia expended and gone
Your story continues passed first to no last
The tale of you bleeds into all

Through love and hate, laughter and death
Minutes and seconds grew to decades and days
The story being written you wrote each day
The tale of you bleeds into all

Memories endure through dream and remembrance
Yesterday is gone but tomorrow you live on
Your story yet written a character more than one
The tale of you bleeds into all

Your stories the fires shall never consume
A past, a future, a present goes on
The story you wrote lives forever in your love
The tale of you bleeds into all


Details | Free verse | |

The Wasteland -part 2-

A long time passes and I am still here Silently insulting, brutally weeping But then I lift my head from the ground To see him standing there Towering over me in all endeavor of quietude Was he there the entire time? I feel his eyes but see only his stare I am dreaming again Has he returned to guide me? To frighten me back into reality? Who are you, entity of fear? I know death draws me near— But why, oh mystery, do you linger here? He never answers me, though still I try Why are you here? Must you hate me too? He pulls me up staring me down His thin, sophisticated form makes me feel hollow Empty features burning my vision As he bends facing me I never want to see your face again See, that’s why I hide. . . Why, I ask, my voice croaking Tell me why. . . He takes my hand as I cringe Walking me to the edge, his head tilted my way I shake like a dried leaf on the brink of autumn A small, pathetic part of me wants to thank him To believe all of this. . .is right How though, can I trust his blank sincerity? I am the only. . .the lonely But there he is beside me His long fingers intermingling in mine The sense of fear and confusion Sticking to me like grime I am the Slender Man—I am—your friend And for once I let him embrace me I cannot bear to flee He tenses and tightens his grip Dreading I may slip away in panic Please stay. . .please stay Soon it will all just go away. . . He is warm against me—alive Breathing slowly, I feel the beating of his heart Bashing my nerves—blurring my mind Tingles shoot down my spine As I stand there, so close to him We watch a sagging sunset As tears flow down my infected eyes I have learned to fly. . .to embrace the lies Squeezing my hand he holds me close As the black sun wearily lifts its head one last time Only to sink from its post I never want to see your face again See, that’s why I lie Slender Man cradles me in his tendrils Surrounding me like I am its sickly nourishment Whispering comforting falsehood I gaze beyond the wasteland Beyond myself. . . But there I find nothing Hand in hand we walk over the edge Heading yonder into the sheer, sweet Nothingness The demons watch us disappear Grinning from ear to ear I cannot see them now. . . But I can smell their fear -January 26, 2013-


Details | Free verse | |

Broken words

The word was imperfect
and broken half way,
before it took it's shapes.
Sentences were incomplete, 
and some fragmented.
The paragraph was not whole,
Many words were squeezed out
of gaps between the two.
Pages became mutilated
Chapters were partitioned 
and unable to close down
The book covered nothing,
 nothing at all
words flew away out of 
my own mind
recklessly, abandoned 
in the heavy wind
I stopped seeking
the lost meanings of
words........
sentences......

By
Williamsji Maveli


Details | Free verse | |

Mind

Where are you now?
Are you in and among the crowd?
In a world in which I cannot follow?
Extradite to imaginary borders,
Where my thoughts finally unfurl.


Details | Free verse | |

In Remembrance

It was a majestic sight
To see in the distance
The New York City skyline
The twin towers standing bold
It was a sight to behold
Where else but in America
Can you see something 
That leaves you in wonder
This has always been with me
Till that day of terror
It hurt my heart to know
My children will never see it
On September 11, 2001
I lost a part of my past
My present and it hurts
Because it is no longer there
I grieve more deeply
For those who lost
So much more than me
The lost a loved one
I will never forget
The scene on Television
Of the smoky towers
That once stood majestically
Nor will I ever forget
The people who die
On that horrific day
God bless their souls
Our heroes and our loved ones
Will always be remembered
Their loss will always
Be in my heart and my prayers

Written in remembrance on the 2nd anniversary  of September 11th


Details | Free verse | |

play, pause


i’m splitting at the seams.

torn,

one arm gently pulls, the other yanks-

violently.

never a moment of silent bliss,

i bite my lip until crimson liquid seeps out the corners of my mouth

and drips

staining my peplum top.

distant memories creep into my mind to warn of the shame i’ll find

in this game of hide-and-seek

if i let them see that my smile isn’t real

and my blood prefers to stay in my veins.

So I don’t stop.

I move my lips into position

and wipe the blood from my chin.

And press ‘play’ on the cassette tape that reads:

"of course I’m happy",

because I can’t form those words myself.


Details | Free verse | |

The Tin Men

The tin men
in a fortress of smoke.
Death all around,
hungry for oil.

Their eyes in the storm
divide and cleanse
to be dragged into the mud
once again.

It rumbles on.
One and another,
one ceases, 
one gets stronger.

A rainbow of shoes, 
the broken tin men.


Details | Free verse | |

Recovery

Relief will come
in little steps
each passing day
a small step
closer
to the edge
of life again...

a little piece
a little glimpse
of who we used to be

a holiday
has come and gone
and every song
is new again
without 
that part
of "us"
that used to be
our normalcy 

Oh, grief!
you are a thief
you are a road
that cuts right through the human heart
and up and down, 
it takes us 
around sharp curves
to some new place 
that we don't know,
and have no wish
to go...

We try to pass the days
so fast,
without a backwards glance
and hope we can ignore 
familiar things
and some so new,
and we can't change the 
road we take so strange in hue

yet, once in awhile
a stumbled fall
a pause, a chance
to turn around
to turn a head
one little glance
and there you are 
you stop us dead, right in our tracks

we cannot run, we cannot hide
until we're done

relief I feel, ...one little ounce
just to know
we made it through
and even though
we cannot choose

until these moments pass


____________________________________________
For David Williams "Primary Emotions" contest


Details | Free verse | |

eight

I often question if I can feel the ecstasy I used to know,
that old familiar rush that seeps through my skin.
Do I have to swallow those little numbers
(one through eight)
to make myself whole?
Only then do I fail to differentiate the warmth of my skin from the atmosphere.
And my heart pounds like a change in gravity.
My skin starts to inhale and a tidal wave crashes into my senses-
I’m disoriented and dazed and fulfilled momentarily,
so I’m lost in a cycle,
counting by eights.


Details | Free verse | |

THE STONE

It stands, the stone, a cold gray, a grave
Marker, etched, engraved, branded by date
And name.
Alone tree, a dark elm, covered in yellow
Leaves of fall, a blanket of sunshine.
A contrasting of irony, death and life,
Side by side.
Beneath no life, once alive,  remnants
Refuge, buried under ground.
A silken lined chamber, of white
Elegance, a coffin death's santurary.
 Holding nothing, but
Skeletal bones, of the forgotten.
Do angels weep for the dead,
Do the dead weep for themselves,
Within their shallow, earthen prisons?
Warmth or chill,  remorse's for-get-me-knots,
Regrets petals falling, from the reddest
Rose, lain against an inscriptions crept. 
Within each depth of layered soil, 
Is colors light brown unto darkest black. 
Here light fades by the inch, until nine
Feet equals the leveling point, of no return.
One mourner, one priest, saying a spiritual
Farewell, to the diciest.
In reverences pondering, with a quiet
Moments pausing, for respect, 
Two heads are bowed
In prayer.
In humanities photo albums, you'll
Find know mention, or mark that this soul
Has made.
Say but one a stone brick, etched, with
A date and a name.
As the Autumn leaves, are blown across
An unvacant neglected site,
A spirit lingers in the chambers, of
Heaven, awaiting for the lone mourner,
To embrace him with a thanks, to be
Remembered at least by one.


BY: CHERYL ANNA DUNN










Details | Free verse | |

HOW TO SURVIVE WITHOUT YOU

The dark nights are getting colder
I can no longer feel the warmth of
Your hands upon my shoulders

How can I survive knowing
Never again shall I see your beautiful face
When all I ever hoped for is to share an eternity
In the comfort of your embrace

The last thing I ever wanted
Was to hurt you, but I have
Now, it is me who hurts the most
Your memory haunts me like a ghost

Feeling your presence wherever I go
What peace can I find
When you've infiltrated every part of my soul

Like a flower in the desert
Left to wither and die
Are the tears for you I have cried
Missing the love I once found
In those gentle raven eyes

How can I survive without you by my side
The blue withdrawn from my skies
Your love never again to be mine


Details | Free verse | |

It's Not Your Fault

The thing about life
is that
it can end in an instant

When the rope of the
harsh words
wraps tightly around your 

Neck squeezing tighter
and tighter
you just want to jump

To end it all to end all
the pain
and the hatred and words

It is not only the words
that push
you over the edge

It is too the fists and
the feet 
that slam into you

Over and over
without
a break with out letting up 

Making you break down and slide down
the wall
and cry and cry and cry

One phone call can 
save a
live, stopping that jump

Stopping the self hate
and
spreading the love

The love i have for 
you will 
never fade or die and i hope

will make you better
to sleep
and to be able to be 

Happy again to 
be happy
forever and always with me

just remember and know
that it's
NOT YOUR FAULT


Details | Free verse | |

The Unchosen

Here I am again,
To this cursed form of libido,
An eternity I hope not it will be, 
Forever cursing the heavy weight of sympathy

To myself I feel pity, 
I have loved,
And I have lost,
But this is too much already

I have lost myself into this pit before,
Oh how cruel that I'm falling to it once again,
Another goodbye from a girl I love,
My fears have again resurfaced

I see her smile and I remember her stories,
The guy that had that smirk,
The guy who you once loved,
Is never the same as me

Now they're together happily,
Both hearts are filled with bliss,
I cannot bear watch them together,
For my heart itself is grieving and bleeding

Once again I have lost,
Once again I am the stranger,
Once again I have seen love,
And once again I have been the second choice.










Details | Free verse | |

Your Choice

It crushed my heart to hear
That you were no longer and would never be mine
It seared my soul to see and know
That you were with her and I was once more—alone

I still remember promises
And now they bring me searing pain
Unlike the times my whole being swelled with joy
Now I only further deflate

It ripped me to pieces to see
My place beside you filled with another
My heart is wrung in despair by the thought
That I was rejected—and now I’m replaced

As I sit on the sidelines and cry silently
I wish you would shed one tear for me
Or promise to never forget
Or feel a tinge of regret

But you don’t

You don’t care

You have the choice of letting me go
Or throwing me out
And acting like I don’t exist
And what hurts me more than anything is
When faced with this choice
You  do not blink
With no hesitation
You take it.
Do you know you're slowly killing me?
Sliding a blade into the tender flesh of feelings?
Another pang of pain courses through me
knowing that, of course, you do.
Now I am gone.


Details | Free verse | |

A Bizarre Notion

Sailing over the elegance of sweet memories,
the pleasant havoc put over by the unsaid words,
And the melody of charm poured by heavenly fairies,
begging the mercy , savored by the lousy lords,
Thought it would last, but it seems 
even the sympathy of whistling breeze may not last... 

Frozen in the depths of softening silence,
The hustle of the blazing time,
and Lotus smiling out of the diamond pleasance,
gathering the smithereens of moments into one charm,
thought it would last, but it seems ,
The lust of life must fade into its transience....


Details | Free verse | |

The Sculptor

I feel Him chip away at my flesh.
The vibrations shake to my bones.
Pieces that were once part of me now fall helplessly to the floor.

Every scrape of the chisel,
Every pound of the hammer,
Every piece that is broken from me stings with immense pain.

Why doesn't He stop?
Why is The Sculptor so cruel?
Doesn't He realize that each swing He takes is a nightmare to me?

I would be better off as stone that was never touched,
I would be more content without the suffering that comes apon me,
But I wouldn't be a work of art.

Each chip of the chisel is intended to remove a piece that shouldn't be there.
Each pound of the hammer is meant to force the hideous fragments far from me.
Each move The Sculptor makes, takes me closer to His plan for me.

I must trust, knowing that He never takes off too much.
I must be ready, knowing that He never leaves His work incomplete.
I must be thankful, knowing that I am being made beautiful in His eyes.

The acute pain is only a short part of His plan.
The lasting anguish fades in its own time.
Though heart, and soul, and body all grieve, the permanent state will be that of finished work.

I may not know the reason for each strike,
I may not know the fault with each sundered chunk,
And I may never know.

I know the sting of the chisel now,
I know The Sculptor has a plan,
My part is to trust that He will not work forever ... but that He will be done.


Details | Free verse | |

scarlet tears

i. there is a drop of scarlet in the glass of vicissitudes–– 

a taint of shadows in a fluorescent
room. its shape baring teeth
at the reflection in my mind.

“a false portrayal of self-actuality”, concludes the
shrinking voice of a certified delusionist. she says that
my bones are brittle and my skin is worn
but no– that, no,
that is not me

my entity is solely defined by my
despondent thoughts
and my cracking fragility
interlaced with
streaks of red and
black and
blue

blue like the broken veins that
engrave my skin in a constant
reminder of who i am and
who i will never be

 ii. two drops now 

i will never be the smile on
her face in the waters or the
laughter from her imperfections splayed out against a white wall or the
solid self-assurance of a growing leader. and
i will never be the consummate words
that grace a meal with gratitude at the end of the
day (thank you lord)

thank you to this body that has
tried its best and to this mind
that bleeds in the grasp of its masochistic owner
thank you for the strangled lips that have
spoken my lies and to these eyes
that have seen the world in
delusory in all its grandeur.

iii. the imminent red flows in an addled solution of
thick and thin, its path changing so
fluidly

fluid like the love in my heart that
cowers from myself yet peels its
flesh for everyone else;
as solid as the robust
affirmation vibrating through my bones
that cries in joy at its sublimity

and in my head i hear the people ask,
“why cant you just learn to love yourself?”

oh– but dont you understand?
i do. i do love myself.

i love the way my eyes shine
with tears and how my teeth glow
from soundless words that emerge from
the gaps of tenebrosity and
the way my heart sighs contentedly
in its barren aspiration

i love the way i
have run out of tears
and words to define this
agony, silence screams
betraying me and endorphins refusing
its exoneration

and since i cannot do all this,
i let myself replace letting salt out from my sore eyes
with the release of iron from my scarred wrists

iv. and in my hand the glass shatters
and a sea of scarlet deluge my ipseity in a boundless suffocation


Details | Free verse | |

Summer School

One year I went to a summer school. 
And there was a girl there 
With shining eyes and
An award winning smile. 
She was kind to everyone and 
Excluded no one. 
She always laughed with others
But you could go to her when you 
needed it.
We talked for hours and
Quickly became friends. 

Last year I went back to summer school. 
The girl was still there. 
She had sad eyes but
Kept the award winning smile. 
She was kind to everyone yet
Excluded herself. 
She never laughed properly 
But you could always go to her 
when you needed it. 
We talked for mere minutes and
I guess I lost a friend. 

This year when I went to summer 
school
The girl was no longer there.
Rumours of suicide surrounded
Her name
And no one was kind to us all.
Everyone excluded their-selves.
Silence consumed every thought and moment
Because no one was there when we 
truly needed it. 
Memories of talking haunted me and
I couldn't help but miss my friend.


Details | Free verse | |

Just a Matter of Time

broken spindle lay on its side
the stair rail weakened 
Can an hour glass turn itself?
no one hastens the seeming repose

splintered spindle reclines in peace
raggedy doll's eyes are closed
and the hour glass gathers dust
objects jog her memories of a fight


spindle in one scarred hand
doll clutched in the other
she turns the hour glass over
day of new beginnings



Details | Free verse | |

My Shadow



Blackness, a dark version of me, badness, negativity.

No matter how fast i run or were i run too your right behind me.

Even the brightest sun doesn’t destroy you, you only exist because of me.

All i know is when i face the darkness you disappear, but to only return when the sun rises.



Details | Free verse | |

Most Days

Most days 
By
Ingrid Showalter Swift

Most days
I am really truly

But then………………………
flowing in like an iceberg that was off at sea 
now come to shore once more 
with the stinging knives…long tentacle fingers of searing ….  
Cold
it smashes the shore
ripping my pretty shells off the reef 
and stopping 
to silvered sudden silence............. the lovely waves of joy

or too...it is 
as if  I am a tapestry
the top layer has many brilliantly died threads 
some even glisten as Gold and Silver and pulse intertwiningly with rich jewel tones and ambers
and soft areas of downy whites 
and creams ....that throw light up onto the ceiling and walls like a crystal spinning 

But beneath there is an undulating world of dark blue rivers baring your name
they swirl in eddies within me and sometimes 
they rise
 …and rise and rise and rise
till
they…flood the surface 

blurring
then block..it all out

and all I can feel or see is the loss of you
your very ……………….goneness

and your own loneliness…your solitude 

in the sounds of your shop
metal is moving
nothing soft and blond 
or me anywhere to be seen 
except on that one lone shelf where my very tattered pages move gently every time you pass by
moving like seaweed dancing in the swirls of the sea
or leaves in the trees caught in your spirit's breeze


Details | Free verse | |

Seven Deadly Sins

Suicidal motions following this melody
With pain comes ecstasy
Blood flowing instantly
Forming a beautiful monstrosity

Rage brings insanity
Uncontrollable profanity
The imminent loss of sanity
A horrifying calamity

Anger shadows envy
A need for this empty entity
A deep void inside of me
Filling it through gluttony

Coming from inside
My flaring pride
Moving every emotion aside
I can’t help but abide

I know what I need
To thrive through my senseless greed
To arise and succeed
To take the air you breathe

Sloth sits behind my head
His voice slithers, cold and dead
Making decisions that I dread
Weighing me down to never leave bed

I am alone upon many
But women are plenty
I desire all over any
Lust drives my energy

The words I speak are fake
Lust is my sake
Clothes fall as my hands will take
Nightfall has shown my sinful mistake

Wrath sets my soul ablaze
A state of craze
A possibly eternal phase
Causing terror in countless ways

Horror spreads through lands of virtue
Every intent to hurt you
Madness’s breakthrough
You know it is so true

Here are my seven deadly sins
Nestled below my skin
Where to begin
When to give in


Details | Free verse | |

Alcoholism

Anger, guilt and pain,
those are the only emotions
I feel; my skin crawls whenever
my mind flashes those painful
memories that I try my best to
forget.
Mornings are normal; I do my 
every day chores like clock-work.
The daily grind embeds emotions
long since forgotten; their existence
remains a definition in a dictionary.
Night slowly comes and everything
changes into chaos. 
The chime of bottles that I hide
suddenly calls to me and I
succumb to its dark grasp; its
claws sink deep into my heart.
Sadly, I do not listen to the angel
upon my shoulder that tries so
desperately to guide me into
the light.
As the liquid drowns my senses
the anger is released causing my normal 
self to transform into a monster that 
no-one knows.
Pain fuels my outbursts against
whoever is present regardless
of who it is I cause hurt and
unseen fear that they try to
hide in a futile attempt to
protect themselves.
The bottles dwindle but my
anger only increases; all those
years of hiding it has created
me into a ticking time-bomb
that no-one wants to be near.
The angel upon my shoulder
continues to provide guidance
but the liquid I have consumed
has caused its voice to become a
whisper.
Many things I have lost over
the years but I fruitlessly deny
my own faults.
Will I ever be able to resist
reaching for the bottle?
I do not know but the pain,
fear and loss I can no longer
endure.
Maybe one day I will
say those infamous words
and the angel upon my shoulder
will guide me towards the light
of inner peace and harmony.


Details | Free verse | |

Deceased

Middle of the night
All that is heard
Is yelling & screaming
A voice says,
"...No!...
...Why?!...
...Stop!...
...Don't do that!..."
Then nothing
Walk into the room
Nothing to see
Pitch black
One click of the light switch
All is revealed
Empty liquor bottles
Broken glass
Pills
Knife on the floor
Blood splattered all over the walls
With writing on it that reads,
"See what you made me do?"
Look on the floor
A dead body holding a gun
Look on the ceiling
A dead body hanging
What a nightmare
But a wish come true
Both parents
Dead


Details | Free verse | |

A Song of Hope

Sing for me
A Song
... A song of hope!

Sing for me 
A song
... Different from this
Which I hear 
everyday! 

What song do I hear
On a daily basis?
You query...

... I hear
A Song of pain
A Song of bondage
A Song of anarchy
A Song of deceit
A Song of fear
A Song of hunger
And Songs...
Of POVERTY!!!
Songs of poverty 
Amidst plenty...
Songs of the poor
Amidst the rich.

songs whose tunes
turns a man to a goat
songs whose tunes 
makes the husband's 
sigh
seem to you like the
belated bleating of a 
hungry goat
albeit the piercing 
moo
of a cow
hit by the fulani's 
staff...

The same song 
Whose tunes turns 
the
Woman to a hen.
She asks her sighing 
husband
The reason for his 
sigh
But because she is 
hit
By the same bullet
She clucks like a hen
Hot in heat!

Can anybody sing to 
me?
...A song of hope.
A song which will
Ease the pain of my 
people...

...A song of hope.
A song which will
Ease the burning in 
my heart...

...A song of hope.
A song which will
Bring salvation to my 
kindred...

...A song of hope.
A song which will
Bring smiles to our 
smileless faces...

Is there any
Out there with such 
a song?
If there is...
Let (s)he come fast 
and furious
With the songs
Accompaniments let 
him bother not
About. Lots of them 
have we!

Just come
Come along to us
With the song.
Ready are we
With instruments
And vocals.
Just come 
To sing for us
... A song of hope!!!


Details | Free verse | |

Faith Healer

The odor is intolerable
Like a foul beast clinging to the end 
I can barely subdue its subterfuge 
But here I am, 
I’m standing here of sound and mind
Waiting for the time that answers my own questions

Can it race with the fires of Orc?
Doubtful, but it can jog steadily can’t it?
The weather is awful, filled with sounds
Penetrating a document not written
It pains me to fight through the night
Not because it’s dark, but because I am just a shadow.

Lester drives but
Motional lasts forever
Still driving
Still crying
And slowly dying as time waves on
Like oceans that can’t be seen.

Nobody cares and everyone listens
Ironic, like a bible that holds lies and deception
Can its will be pierced?
Can freedom stay free?
Is it worth it to stay hooked when everyone around
Seeks liberty?


Details | Free verse | |

Grief

I walked a lonesome street
one dawn morning,
the sun was also rising,
and I could hear the baby birds chirping away.
I walked past a cemetery
guarded by black, iron bars,
I heard death's growl.
I turned and there he was; Death grinning at me.
I saw an old man sitting next to a tombstone,
he was crying.

I wonder who he had lost?
Such a sad sight to see such grief,
but that is the surprise of life.


Details | Free verse | |

AGONY OF A WEARY HEART

A broken body
A shattered heart
A lonely soul 
A dashed hope
is how his heart found mine
Found to mould what is left of it
More than a mate he is
Care and concern he brought along
with enduring love to flavour them
A perfect body
A warm blood
A big heart
and a youthful look
all sealed in one body
With promise of more
A heart broken by love
It’s said can only be healed by love
But this duo,
A broken body and shattered heart
this cannot heal.
and what can heal it
I know not
A crushed hope it can fix not
This love is not mine
she sings at dawn and dusk 
Oh, how I have waited so long for you
Now that I can have it not
Now that I can keep it not
It comes a calling
on a heart oozing blood
on a body
not fit for a savage.
Love for a spurting heart
Passion for a damaged body
Oh fate!
Oh love!
How cruel art thou.


Details | Free verse | |

Created, The Monster

Created came with the pieces from others
Creator, he became the monster
Created had no form but learned quickly from others

Love that was instinct became over shadowed
Replaced, made worst to others

Creator abandoned 
Ashamed became 
Not of deserved self
But shame and fury for what others called a monster
He laments his own hands and condemns his brother
Not just one but all the others

Created runs from sins 
Learned, not to lean on others
Commits murder for no sake but desperation
Rage at forsaken 
All others suffer 
But worst Creator


Details | Free verse | |

TRY IF YOU CAN

To have lost someone so dear to you and can't comprehend,
  Trying to make sense of it all so your heart can begin to mend.
The memories that torment you each night tearing you apart,
   Making it harder for you to rest because your afraid of the dark.
Every day begins the same for you with tears that fall like rain,
   You can't make it stop because your heart is filled with so much pain.
Pretending to laugh and faking your smile hiding what's really inside,
   In reality what you really want do is drop to your knees and cry.
So sad and so angry your mixed emotions driving you mad running wild,
   It's all to hard to understand your feeling like a lost and lonely child.
There are moments you want to do nothing but scream out in rage ,
   Just to hold that love one lost one more time is what you really crave.
Deep inside you know that wish will never be and you must go on alone,
   As hard as it may seem you have to learn to face this life on your own.
Remember this if you can my friend and do your best to understand ,
   This is something we all must pass through for this is part of Gods Plan.
TAC


Details | Free verse | |

A CHANCE WITH MY SNOWMAN


If you chance to see
a wandering snowman
on your way home tonight
Let me know.
The poinsettias have started to wilt, turning dull
The Christmas lights have flickered low into the night
The food has lost its savor
Gifts have been opened
Blurry are my windows now
As snow continues to hide
My precious snowman from plain site.

If you chance to meet
My wandering snowman
On your way home tonight
Stop for a moment and play with him.
Share a candy. Make him smile
Make him a paper airplane. Make him beam and laugh.
Hug and kiss him for me. Warm his heart.
It's all a lost mother would ask
For Christmas.

If you chance to experience
My wandering snowman
On your way home tonight
Please send him home
to a warm Christmas with me.
It's all that I ask.



Details | Free verse | |

Remembrance

At times my tears involuntarily flow
because I was unprepared for the pain
of your sudden departure;
and the loneliness of the paths
on which we walked together;
and the emptiness of the places
where your voice is now silent.
I often go to the garden to seek solace
and find that each tree and plant and leaf
and every blade of grass testify 
of your patient and tender care.


Details | Free verse | |

Space in My Heart

There’s a space in 
My heart 
Since you’ve been gone
That my tears can’t
Wash away
And my thoughts won’t
Leave alone
You were always there 
When I needed you 
And it hurts so much
Not being able to 
Be with you now
I keep seeing you lying there
Not able to talk
Not able to move
Only a shadow of my friend
Who brought so much love
And laughter 
Into my world
I wonder what you’re feeling
And if you know how much 
My heart is 
Breaking
My love and prayers
Are all I can offer you now
So far away
And after all you’ve given me 
That seems like 
So little
But I can’t give up 
Believing
That I will see you smile
And hear you laugh 
Again one day
And that your beauty 
And friendship
Will fill again
This terrible emptiness
In my
Heart 


Details | Free verse | |

Storm

Nothing but a waste
you’re just a reckless disgrace
too much power
for a deceiver

It's not right
I see light
It's not near enough
for me to go 

It's my choice
so don't you treat me like a play toy
I'm not yours
to control

Cause I will storm in after you
If you take her far away from me
And I will storm in after you
If you take her to the grave with thee

You take our race for granted
and you're highly overrated
you're always taking
my friends

It's not right
I see light
It's not near enough 
for me to go

It's our choice
so don't you treat us like we're play toys
we're not yours
to control

I will storm in after you
If you take them far away from me
And I will storm in after you
If you try and take them to the grave


Details | Free verse | |

Face Of Despair


<

He always sits at the same corner
with a cardboard sign" Hungry, please help".
He won't quite meet my eyes, but
despair is written in the lines around his mouth,
in his beaten posture, and in his matted hair.

I hand him his lunch and see tears
swimming in his eyes. He knows, and I know, 
that this is a temporary fix-
tomorrow he will be hungry again.

 


Details | Free verse | |

Broken Heart Wing Bird

Broken-Heart-Wing Bird
Alone On Limb, So Scared
Lost The Skill To Fly
& Will To Live or Try
(Watch The Raindrops Cry)

Broken-Heart-Wing Bird
O' Have You Not Heard?
The Wind's Song Sung For You? ...
Across The Sky It Blew
(Lifting Higher Hopes Anew)

Broken-Heart-Wing Bird
ONE, Calling You Has Cared
Keeps You Safe From Harm
Caressed & Sheltered From The Storms
(Your Broken-Heart-Wing Form)

Broken-Heart-Wing Bird
Be Not Dismal Nor Deterred
If On Harsh Land, You're Grounded
JAH Will Float You On Faith Well-Founded
(in Aerial-Miracles Heaven's Son Surmounted)

Broken-Heart-Wing Bird
Beauty-Vision Be Not Blurred
If Confined To Empty-Nests
Take Twigs of Time To Conquer Tests
(and Let Broken-Heart-Wing Rest)

... Gain Strength, Wisdom & Wit
Eagle-Span, Horizon's Width
Let Beating In Breast Be Stirred
Get Better, Broken-Heart-Wing Bird
(GOD's Tree of Life For You Is Shared)

Stretch Your Feathers To The Sun
"Trust" Is A Light-Flight, Bidding "Come!"
and Love Is The Soaring, Wonder-Word
That Heals All Broken-Heart-Wing Birds
(Even From Death's Cages - We're Set Free & Spurred)

So Find Those Behind Dark Bars & Buried
Tell Aviaries Everywhere How You Were Carried!
Upon The Path - Straight & Narrow
Thru Your Single,  Sorrow-Arrow
(as A Broken-Heart-Wing Sparrow) ...

'Til The Broken-Heart-Wing Bird
Could Soar Again - Superb! ...


             Written & Copyrighted ©: 10/08/2012 
                         by:  MoonBee Canady





Details | Free verse | |

Grey Day

Low clouds drift across the sky
a thick blanket of sleep.
Their dreariness drains life
from this once perfect day.

The sky drowned in grey,
the sunlight fades.
The flowers lose their color,
and the robin forgets to sing.

Not even rain will fall
nor will wind blow through leaves.
Nothing draws a breath
on this cold lonely day.


Details | Free verse | |

I'm Here

I'm here.
Right where i belong.
The emergency room.
Here they can save my life.
Stop the blades slicing.
Steel blood dripping.
Stitch my wrists even.
Give me heavy drugs so I can forget I did it at all.

Cranberry juice or apple?
There goes a wife with a slice of chocolate cheesecake for her "incarcerated" husband.
Lots of warm wishes abound.
I have no wishes.
No cheesecake.
No stitches.
Caught in the nick of time.
For they would have had me downstairs, face and fingernails blue.
A grayish pallor, icy and covered by a sheet.

I was Just About There.

No one knows how close.


Details | Free verse | |

The Change

Funny how it feels like 
The change happened so fast
Almost like closing one door and 
Opening another
But I know it’s taken years 
To be able to fell
This way
So peaceful
So whole
So new
What a strange and
Wonderful feeling
You’re in my heart now
In that space that had been
So empty after you’d gone
I think I was trying to hold
Onto you so tight 
That I couldn’t really feel 
You there before 
But now I’ve let you go 
And I can feel you close to me 
Closer than ever
I’ve found you again
And I’ve found something I thought had died
When you did – 
Myself, I found myself
But not the me I was before you 
Or even with you
No, I’ve found someone 
Not afraid to feel anymore
Not afraid to cry anymore
Born again it seems - 
From tears and pain
Nightmares and death – 
To embrace 
Life 
And everything 
In it


Details | Free verse | |

I walk

I surrender to the will of the fates at last
For all my trials to the test I cast
Remembering my agony my heart aches once more
Unknown is the future, I am unable to secure
In vain are my hopes dashed, time and again
Replete I lie now, exhausted yet sane
Try I did to run away from my destiny
Yet it followed in hot pursuit wryly
My aim, my ambition, my ever wandering mind
To the fates I surrender, please be gentle, be kind


Details | Free verse | |

That Night

He still remembers the screams of his beloved
He still remembers her lilac perfume
He still remembers her bright smile
How she held him close as he lay there dying

Her beautiful red dress framing her petite figure
Her chesnut brown hair, always smelling like strawberries
Her black heeled shoes making her as tall as him
Her hazel eyes that shined when she saw him

Now there's a crowd around them
Paramedics telling everyone to make room
They tell her to let him go so they can check on him
She's vaguely aware of what's going on


She only hears sound
Everything is blurred to her
She sees her beloved's mouth move
She gets her bearing and ask "What did you say?"


Everyone becomes quiet
Suddenly there's no movement, no sound
He says with his last dying breath,
"Will you marry me?"


Before she answers him,
His body goes limp
He has died in her arms
With one word, everyone's life changed


They barely hear that one word
She whispers, "Yes"
His ghost floats above her
Whispering in her ear, "Forever I shall protect you my beloved"


Details | Free verse | |

Serpent and the Cranium

Warm smooth coils round 
my head 
scales tickle my forehead 
I want to scratch 
quick tongue laps my ear 


The body moves… languid 
like water over smooth rock
Or is the snake inside 
my head? 

Is there only one or many 
seething and writhing?  
Is the poison real or 
imaginary? 


If I move too fast or 
think too fast 
will it?…they… 
strike? 


If they strike will my death be 
only in my mind?
 
If not entirely in my head
will anyone grieve? 

Trisha Sugarek
Butterflies and Bullets
 


Details | Free verse | |

Eric -RIP-

Why did you leave?
Oh companion of mine
Why did you leave?
Twas it really your time? 
Did you see no point in staying 
another measly day? 
By my side if you were oh the 
things I would say! 
Judge you, I would not
Tis not in my nature
The emptiness I feel from your 
passing measures to that of a 
crater
A bullet took your life
One blast and it's through
What pains me to know is the 
gun was held by you
All you left behind was a note 
for family and friends
Inscribed were many ' I love 
you's ' 
And your deep heartfelt 
amends
No need to say sorry
For you lived a full life
I shall always remember this 
through the pain, struggles, 
and strife
'You don't know what you got 
until what you got is no more'
Oh how this saying is true!
As the tears stream my face 
and I reminisce of you
With anger in our eyes and 
pain in our hearts
We lay you to rest
Hoping that solace will 
overflow in our lives
We miss you Eric 
This is in plain black and white
Had we the power we'd wish 
you back to life
I take comfort in knowing one 
day we'll meet again
Beyond the pearly gates 
reunited  as friends
This is NOT goodbye
Only a brief farewell
When shall we meet again?
Only time will tell


Details | Free verse | |

Signs

I love you so much more than the sun in the sky
Love you so much girl, and just can't tell exactly why
To confess my love, to you, is all I wish to say
Tell you outright, at the break of each new day

Our worlds seem to align 
And it's not by design
I want you in my arms forever, to be mine
Oh love, just give me a sign

I've had none before, and well, you've had nine
But with this I am fine
To the shores of forever, with you, I will find
If you just give me some Signs

Signs, from you and above, oh how I'm praying for
Please pretty girl, won't you open the door?
Leave me crying on the floor
Leave me girl, wanting so much more

How can lonely hearts mend?
Find others for their love to send
All across the sands of these times
Show me the way, give me some Signs

You could turn a whole life's world around
Without the utterance of a sound
You could halt his childish whines
If you just gave this poor boy some Signs

Signs, from you and above, oh how I'm praying for
Please pretty girl, won't you open the door?
Leave me crying on the floor
Leave me girl, wanting so much more

Yet here I am, sitting alone and broken
No words to you have been spoken
Why am I so shy? Where did the days go?
Oh how they fly and Oh how you glow
Nothing left to do now, but wait for new Signs


Details | Free verse | |

What once was

Inside, so warm and loved cherished from day one joy filled the heart and spilled over a cup overflowed Every moment was happiness all new experiences all new delights even new pains every bit was a level of adoration But everything could go wrong and that it did once where there was love and excitement was now pain and fear crimson was the color and loss was it's game There was no stopping it and no sign of warning it came rapidly quick as a thought and more terrifying than a monster with eyes glowing red skin of darkness razors for teeth smiling at it's prey Tears fall with them making a river of suffering so close to death but not dying a tiny soul was taken away from inside to never exist again Now this vessel is barren as a tundra with no warmth no rejoice only agony and longing Memories never to be made emotions never to be felt only the bitter taste of what once was my little angel


Details | Free verse | |

Where's The Love

We were taught to shine bright,
But where's the light when we condemn?
Where's the light when we judge?
Where's the light when we don't love?


Details | Free verse | |

Monsters

The monsters came back, 
They taunted her every night,
Telling her absurd things.
They made her think.
They whispered in her ear 
Trying to lead her to do 
something
She had tried so hard to 
overcome.
This was a constant battle 
Between her and the wicked.
And yet again,
She was left with nothing
In a dark room
Because the monsters won.


Details | Free verse | |

My Leisure Time Well Spent

When I was a young boy,
The radio would blast in my ears…
I would cheerfully sing along to a new song…
Those memories come back to me like waves approaching me
I sang along with my mother by my side
She’s the driver and I’m on the passenger seat…
In other words, I called “shot-gun!” first
I prize these recollections and they make me beam so wide 
Old memories spent with you are still there in my mind
You’ve painted me a picture of what you get out of life 
Throwing out all strife…throwing out all strife
We welcome the sun…we welcome the son! 
When I was spending happy days with you,
I didn’t know they could fade so soon
I didn’t know time would pass up by like morning to afternoon
Changes were made and I can’t change that
Where have you gone? Are you feeling OK?
Talk to me…I wonder about you every single day
But, all these years we’ve spent it on leisure time has come to hunt me down again like a predator, 
finally getting its hands on its first victim
You sing so sweet, nightingale in the nightfall
I’ve memorized your face when you walk in the gloomy hall 
Hear me as I call…hear me as I call…
You melt me like ice cream, left in the sun 
When you remind me of the segments of my past,
I just want to tell you straight-out that I don’t care to hear about it
I’m sorry to act so harsh, but you’re looking back again
Don’t break my heart…it’s not my time to die
Yesterday…where have you gone?
Yesterday…you’re a long lost son…
Yesterday…you’re in the grave 
Tomorrow… will be God’s Kingdom 
Tomorrow…the day will be handsome
It’s sad to see you go…
While my family and I are spending good, leisure time
It’s tough to let you know
You’ve made me sad ‘cause you’ve changed big time
Might as well listen to music and shut out all sound
I was just a useless toy all along, 
Stomped on on the ground…I’m gravity-bound
But, I won’t even try to sing this depressing song
Besides, it wasn’t arranged for one
But, nevertheless, I prayed to God with all of my heart
My leisure time was well-spent! Thank God my young heart didn't break apart!


Details | Free verse | |

LET ME

 Let me caress the love i never had,
and kiss the thought of you,oh so sad
let me keep you in my heart so dearly,
and hum the tune of a sad melody

let me die with your memories,
and bear forever the past agonies
let me strum my own weary heart,
Til it breaks with tears in its deepest part

let the tears roll down to my cheeks,
as it runs it softly speaks
of the love so hard to be mine...
a love so true yet so unkind.


Details | Free verse | |

Disconnection

I'm…
so tired of my heart 
breaking

I'm …
so tired of my hands 
shaking

I'm so tired of my mind
racing

I'm through pacifying 
my disconnection

Do I only love you for who you used to be?
When you said you'd wait for all eternity?
Did you drink away every memory of me?
How am I not everything you’ll ever need?!

I've had to sit down and write this 
to tell you the words i can't speak
When I'm around you now i feel weak
I'm drowning in my disconnection

Where did he go??
You are not the soul I used to know
Where did your memories go?!

Why has the meaning disappeared…
So suddenly
Now I realize I should too

You act like you remember nothing 
I can tell that’s what I mean to you
After all I’ve done for you
All I want is to be emotionless too

In the end I guess it’s what I love the most about you…..
Your disconnection.

[©2012 SLS, this soon to be a new song for It Is Rife With Ambiguity]
www.sorrylittlesharky.com


Details | Free verse | |

Tainted Tourniquet - Bleed Inside of Me

Bleed inside of me
Hand me a tourniquet…please
Will it all away…

Fears and woes drown me
How could this be so, honey?
Give in to your pain 

You hold up a tainted tourniquet
As I fall on my knees
and pray...pray...

FOR FORGIVENESS of sins
And past guilt and remorse...
piercing me like sharp pins 
And things are getting outtah course...

Things are looking worse
My wounds...ooze with blood and it's...
GROSS! O'cowrse!
My anguish...my sores...my gashes...are taking over me...
and I'm throwing tantrums and fits

And I'm screaming...
wailing...
Dreaming...
waiting...
praying for long-term, ravishing relief
To take away my endless, aching grief


Details | Free verse | |

PuppyBoy

A  boy and his dog, a dog and his boy,
The dog, the boy’s faithful/constant companion,
and secret co-conspirator in mischief,
keeper of the boy’s secrets, desires, dreams, fears, etc..
Naturally Puppy/Boy, first wanted food for
his emaciated, cloudy-eyed best friend.
My heart shattered for the both of them.
Even as the boy needed food, It wasn't for himsef that heasked.
But . . .as intensely as I wanted, to feed them both, with,
Love, and hugs and kisses, and encouragement,
I said to the little one, I’m very sorry to say,
That this food today, Is much too spicy. 
In less than an instant, a frozen, blank stare,
Came over Puppy/Boy’s face.
That stare said to me,
As loud as thunder on a hot August day,
And as clearly as the bright sun after the rain,
You are not the first, to come here,
To help, but . . .instead, fall, short,
You’re not.
Then without another mumbling word,
He turned and left,
With only the sound of his worn flip-flops, 
Ringing, echoing  in my ears.
I heard those flip-flops, Pop! Pop! Pop!
As out the door Puppy/Boy went, until,
I heard those flip-flops, No more.

NOW,
Here I am, in my space, far away, comfortable,
healthy, after countless days, and months, and years.
YET,
The sight of that gaunt, little boy,
With the blank stare, haunts me, day and night.
When I’m awake, the sight invades my thoughts,
Like someone strolling by.
At night, my subconscious presents that face to me.
But more than that, Is my constant companion,
Of the sound of Puppy/Boy’s flip-flop’s, Pop! Pop! Pop!
Ringing in my ears, every hour, of every day,
NEVER ENDING.
 


Details | Free verse | |

Permanent

Today I feel miserable. Not just your run of the mill sorrow, but it's as if my thoughts have morphed into blades
and sliced their way into my heart. My brain has imprinted your memories into my mind, too far deep to ever be retracted.
I've found peace within the pain, accepted it perhaps. Because even though it hurts to think of you, I can't stop.
Your soul will live on for eternity, and permanently in my heart.
Sometimes I pretend that you've never really left this earth. I see you often.
In my dreams, in strangers that roam the street, the ones with the same innocent blue eyes as yours.
I can still hear your laughter. It has been 247 days since I have physically been in your presence. 
247 days without answers, without closure, without...you.
Everything that led up to that day was despicable. You deserved gold, but received gravel.
But hatred is poisonous.
And if I allow anymore poison to slip into my blood, then I may be gone as well. So I will try to forgive, but can never forget.
I love you more than I love myself.


Details | Free verse | |

My Little Boy Lost

My Little Boy Lost
by Katherine Huffman
Hello? My son, are you here?
I can't see you, I can't find you, why aren't you near?

As I walk the streets in search of you, 
I feel a pull, a tug, not sure what to do.
I passed the park as I looked for my boy, 
Even passed our play spot, but in my sight, not even a toy.
After everywhere I thought that I could go, 
There was one place, but it can't be right, this is all I know.

Hello? My son, are you here?
I can't see you, can't find you,
Why can't I feel you near?

This evening begins as I lay to rest my head, 
There are some things I'm unsure of, 
Like making your tiny bed.
Oh God, whats happening, haven't I counted your toes?
What about cradling your head or kissing your little nose?
What are these things I am unsure of, have I even done? 
Where are you, where are you my precious son?

Mommy lays here, in tears, her face on something cold.
Where are you my son, it's you I need to hold.
I've searched all day, it's turning into night,
I'm tired, I'm lost, but I still won't give up this fight.
My eyes start to close, slumber is far too near 
If I fall asleep, I may miss seeing you my dear.

Next thing I know, as I wake to the sun.
Wondering what it is, what has been done?
As I sit, my eyes focus, I start to look around.
Then, for some reason, they are drawn to the ground.
As I look, I see what has become,
This can't be, what's happening, where am I my son?

That cold my face last night laid upon, 
Was a marker, with your name, 
Of your body my little one.
Those things I wasn't sure if I'd ever done, 
Were but the memories, I'd hoped to make with you my son.

You were here, I know you were here 
My beautiful, precious son.
You were in mommies arms, such a little one.
As though it were as simple as reading a book,
I start to realize
These tangled webs have become unhooked.

That tug, that pull that led your mommy here, 
It was your spirit, it was your soul, 
It was your heart my little dear.

Here you were, here you were, 
Right with me, so very near.
My little boy, my son, 
Mommies little one was here.
You see? You led me where I needed to go.
For it was well past the time,
To accept this I know.

I feel a tug, I feel a pull.
I feel like I need to hurry, 
Like I have to go.
There is someone I remember,
I need to get to I know.
He's a small one, a little boy. 
He's your brother, my son, 
He's pulling, he's tugging, 
Needing mommy my little one.
I have to leave, I have to go, 
To find my baby, my son.

Oh Thank You my boy,
For bringing me here.
For letting my mind begin to see clear.
You showed me the way, 
I now see the light.
I am so close, so near in this dark night.

So here you are, here you are, 
With mommy, my baby is so very near.
You are in my heart, my mind, 
And this little brother of yours, my dear.

My little boy lost, my little boy lost, 
it's you I have found.
You were there with me,
as I slept on that ground.

Hello? My son, are you here?
I can see you, mommy found you, 
In my arms I hold you so near.
I've bathed you, I've clothed you, 
And cradled your head.
I counted your toes,
I bent in and kissed that little nose.
As you fell asleep in your bed.

Without him, 
Would these be memories
we are making my dear?
Without him would mommy, 
Be able to hold you so near?

We have a little angel to watch over us for all nights.
In spirit, with us, his soul,
Our endless guiding light.
He's your big brother, my son, my precious little one. 
He's right here, a part of you, 
Never again to be gone.

My little boy lost, my little boy lost,
It's you, I can see.
I have to Thank You 
For guiding me!


Details | Free verse | |

Now I see you, as the Blue moon

Now I see you full, my love
As the moon, the Blue moon,
I thought, I did see you;
It was the moon, the Gibbous moon.
You smiled, for me, when you were
The moon, the Crescent moon,
With your pain, on your dark,
You laughed, for me, when you were
The moon, the Half moon,
But now I know, that I saw,
Only the moon, the dark moon,
And thought it, to be,
The moon, the full moon.
©Anees Rahman


Details | Free verse | |

For Chris

As all things pass, you must
   Beyond, no earthly future lies
No limits be secured

Chosen by the hand of God
   You pass before our eyes

With arms outstretched, we reach
   To hold you back

In looking back we see ahead
   An emptiness surrounds

How fragile now we feel
   The clutch of sorrow's bounds

With time strength will return
   And clearly then we'll see

The message of this mournful day

For we, too, shall pass dear Son
   And with you, then, we'll be 


Details | Free verse | |

Call of an End

sitting at a traffic light 
a phone begins to sound
picked up at the second ring
(oblivious to the impact)


happiness is expected
even just a hello
(instead demolition)


the world shatters
phone falling from a hand
a heart left torn 
(each beat a struggle)


how is it so
one second life feels whole
between one blink and another
there stands a gaping hole 
(hollow in pain)


life is so fragile
taken for granted
never knowing for a second
when it will come
(The call of an end)


Details | Free verse | |

Every day i die

I cry yet do not weep
The remnants of my pillaged decaying heart
Lay in the putrid  foul gutter deep
Beneath your feet
Cursed at birth wounded throughout life
Feeling the hurt of countless stabbing knifes
A mere puppet torn this way and that
Deflated emancipated buried
Feeling lost lonely and crap
So much love to give
I spend my life in darkness and limbo
And do not live
Time goes past
So fast
I lay here in my cocoon
And lick my wounds
On the dark side of the moon
Lacking affection and tender care
I reach out but still no one there
No lovers head nuzzled gently upon my chest
Do rest
No pleasure no relief
I mourn my passing with so much grief
Unwanted unloved unlovable
I rest my weary bones
In the freezing  gutter my heart no home
Waiting anticipating my impending fate
Won't someone rescue me
Before it's too late
As I slip closer and closer to oblivion.



Peter Dome.copyright.2014. Aug.


Details | Free verse | |

Fear

Darkness growing over the horizon 
 i looked over to the other side
 to find my way as i embrace dark fogs 

The cold damp leaves soiling my feet
 Twigs cracking as i walk pass
 owls singing their horrifying melody
 Sending chill through my spins
Wolves howling across the mountains 
Looking for preys to devour

 The tidal wave clapping on the ocean walls 
 Inhaling the freshness of the ocean
 Filling my lungs with it
The ocean calling onto me 

Sinking gradually into the depth of the ocean 
 Feeling my belly with ocean water 
waiting for my end to come.


Details | Free verse | |

little girl

little girl with blue eyes.with blonde curls.A sky blue dress.And a basket full of apples shes bringing home to mama.
Little girl crossing the meadow.Not very far from home.She waves at nearby rabbits peeking out of rabbit holes.She walks with a rhythm.She hums a little tune.Shes only eight years old and she does not notice the sky is turning a dark shade of blue. 
little girl takes a nap in the meadow.Just a short one she says and slowly closes her eyes.
She falls into a deep sleep dreaming of butterflies.
Bobby day was a lonely boy.Looking for comfort.The little girl had treated him kind.She also had beauty before her time.He looked down upon her sleeping in the meadow.a basket full of apples laying beside her.
Little girl awoke to night fall.She awoke to Bobby day staring intently at her.
Bobby was a predator.that's what her mama always said.Lonely only because he had women scared.He wanted to take her home but the little girl knew better than that.
No one but bobby and that little girl were around.In the dead of the night only the hoot owl saw what occured.It was an accident bobby will testify .She fell backwards and hit her head as i tried to grab her .I didnt know what to do when blood trickled from her head.So 
I carried her to the river and threw her body in.But i did not kill her.It was an accident he said . the judge felt sympathy and gave him four years.But for the rest of his life that little girl would haunt his memories.Knowing that his own actions may have inadvertently caused her to die.



Details | Free verse | |

Your Words

Get a life, she said
Dark thoughts ring through my head
I am nothing—for that is what you have made me
Tears streaming from my eyes
All the past happiness—the lies
Words do matter . . . they really do
They stick to you like glue
I cannot stop sobbing
For the words ring true
I am truly nothing—thicker than lead
The next rhyme will probably be the word “dead”
Damn this mind . . . damn this head
I cannot escape the sorrow
She held it all in
And it bursts now from her quivering vocals
Crybaby, she said
Oh, but you do not know all that I hold in
But you cannot blame them for not understanding
The fault is all my own
I guess the next word to rhyme is “alone”
Wish they could be something more meaningful
Something giving, inspiring
But I cannot help this—I am rotting!
I hate to be wrong but you are right
What’s the use of this sick denial and spite?
What’s the use of trying to live this life,
When I am looking for a completely wrong purpose?
Finding myself downright worthless. . .
I hate being right. . .
But sometimes . . . I really am
And it your words you have spoken
That make it the truth

Your words leave a shameful legacy
Like a sick memory,
Like a regret. . .

March 15, 2013


Details | Free verse | |

I'm Home, Habebty: Egpytian Revolution

*habebty: arabic for my love
*context: this year (2014) is the third anniversary since the egyptian revolution

Friday, he told me,
"Tomorrow will be a sad day."
"Why?" I asked.
"The anniversary of the revolution."
Of course. 
When I had google searched "january news egpyt" 
the day before to see if any new protests had occured to 
block the streets and make him come home late, 
the results still showed the carnage of three years ago.
There would be protests tomorrow.
I asked him if he was going to work. 
"Yes."


Saturday, 
I worried.
I wouldn't tell him
Not to go to the protest-
I knew I would have gone too-
Shouldn't I support what he believes?
But then I think 

Red
Bloodstains on streets 
Littered with banners
Left abandoned

White
Tear gas 
Like the departing souls
Of the martyrs of the revolution

Black
Riot gear uniforms
Beat down protesters;
They've sworn to arrest
Anyone protesting today-

I pray.

I ask him where he is. 
"I'm home, habebty."
He's decided not to go
Since he thinks it's wrong
To celebrate on a day
So many have died.

I breathe again.

Nearly 50 died that weekend.
I got to hear,
I'm home, habebty.


Details | Free verse | |

Sanity

There's always that one kid in 
class.
Laughing and waving his arms, 
"You took my pencil I'm going 
to kill myself"
His mocking echo's around the 
room. 
Little does he know the quiet 
kid in the back,
Is thinking the same thing.
The kid is whispering all the 
evil things,
That he hates about himself.
Every time his whispers hit his 
skin,
They cut deeper than the razor 
in his pocket.
All he wants is for someone to 
look at him and say,
"Every things going to be okay"
Even when he knows it not.
He wants some one to notice.
How he never smiles or talks,
Or maybe ask "Why don't you 
have any friends?"
"Want to be mine?"
But all he has is heads turned 
away and that kid in class who 
lost his pencil.
That kid may have lost his 
pencil,
But slowly the kid in the back.
Is losing his sanity.
Bit by bit, word by word, 
glance by glance.
It's slipping from his grasp and 
it's not as easy to get back,
As a pencil.
Head down, eyes closed.
When the pain rips through his 
veins and bubbles out through 
kisses from a razor,
He will have his sanity.


Details | Free verse | |

Justice

Whilst our finding fathers
Carved in concrete, 
Justice is: 
Treating Equals Equally,
Modern democracies 
Rephrased the concept
Equals means - equals in power:
The wheels of the Government

When a limp baby
Dyeing on her mother's
Emaciated breasts
Can you heal or ease her
Absolute poverty by
The philanthropist's guilt?
Poverty's opposition is justice!

When a digger returns from
An unjust war as a
Blinded amputee
Can you heal or ease his
Absolute poverty by 
Mechanical eyes and limbs?
Poverty's opposition is justice!

When the family homes 
Repossessed by the bank
Life is a merciless winter for most
Can you heal or ease their
Absolute poverty by
Paying the dole?
Poverty's opposition is justice!

Whilst our finding fathers
Carved into concrete, 
Justice is:
Treating Equals Equally, 
Modern democracies 
Rephrased the concept:
Equals means - equals in power:
The wheels of the Government


Details | Free verse | |

The Flame

my soul was touched and i learned
deep inside this fire burns
i hear her name and it brightens the flame
and this will always be the same
when i have time my memory defines
the things that said she loved me
the little clues that she used
that little thing, the excuse 
the why derived of something
i always thought that time would wait
she knew i loved her but it was too late
to love her enough to let her go
suffer for my sake? no lord no
i traded my tears for her pain
 i traded years for a wonderful flame
everytime i hear her name
a thought a memory and what i gained
we have something that will always be
a deal with death to her from me
from death i gained eturnity
for now they're just memories
but with my memory i keep my love alive
a burning flame that testifies


Details | Free verse | |

Love Restores Peace

At 8:30 AM,
"Get up, LAURA! Charlie! Wake up...Robert...Wake up."
No reply...no reply...just ignore my wake up calls...yell at me all you want
You make me cry...cry...just shatter me like glass...you place me in the trash, but I still feel this discontent
Deep inside of me...
There's a sea of remorse swirling around me...
At 12:15 AM,
"Hey Laura!"
No reply...no reply...
"What are you doing?"
I just want to cry...a river...why?
She still ignores me...now I'm feeling the anxiety...
She still jokes around with me, but I feel so angry...and so empty...
She's texting her friends again...I must talk to her sometime
She still doesn't answer my calls...she doesn't care to wipe off my grime
Sponging inside of me...
I guess I'm left with my chores for today
My heart is swelling up in dismay...and my sky turns to gray
And I pray...for relief and I just want to say...
I love my sisters and brothers, but they truly don't care for me...or at least that's what I think till this very day
This lonesome feeling sufficates me...
Go ahead and ignore me, sister
You just added another blister
In my mouth, my hopelessness avalanches all over the ground
You make me frustrated...and now my head spins round and round
And I feel bound...
By stress and torment! 
Go ahead and neglect my voice
My heart is seeping out misery...pumping with fret...
while you text your friends and rejoice
In my head, my painstaking regrets torture me profoundly
You don't care to listen - live your life without me
My soul is left in the cold...
Oh! Go ahead! Let me mold...mold...
I worry about you, sister...
But you left me to dry like glue...you made me suffer
don't beg to differ...
Go ahead! Blow fire in my direction...
I warn you...you don't want to see an eruption
I don't want to be ensnared by my corruption... 
Please God...pick me off from the ground...
and show me some direction
Or I'll be broken down like the titanic...
And You don't wanna see me panic...
Panic...
At 1:00 AM,
I decide to pray to God for protection...
I pray...I pray...
I wait for His reply..........................
He helped me fight 
my depression wars
He unchained me from the cage...
and taught me how to fly
He cherished me...
He understood me 
and He still does till this day...
He healed my sores...
And He doesn't ignore my calls! 
He makes me feel content 
even in the midst of hardships - 
I pray...I wait...I cry...
For His comfort daily...
to nourish me 
when I feel ignored
Or when I'm stabbed in loathe...
I pray that Your peace be restored
In our family once more.
I wait
For peace
To fix the broken glass...to fix the emotions breaking us all
I pray
For the chaos to cease
To make the whole world rejoice...to encourage us to stand tall
Will love make us whole again?


Details | Free verse | |

Grieving

a thousand times I call your name
throughout the day
like I always would

you'd come frolicking around the corner
always making your way
to me

a thousand times I swear I feel you
brush up against my legs
like you always would

a thousand times more
I forget your gone
because you should be here
not there

but I know it's an oasis
one where your lungs are restored,
your breaths aren't shallow
and you're eating all of the tuna in the world

a thousand times I swear I wake up
you next to me
on the other pillow

I can't help but sleep against the wall
afraid I'll roll over on you

and then I wake up,
pillow bare
no indent
and the reality takes toll
a thousand times I've prayed for your soul

but in the end,
I'm alone


Details | Free verse | |

Oh the Irony

The boy lays on the ground while the second stands over him
The first boy cries while the second laughs
The second boy is hurt
But is not crying
For his tears have dried up
The second boy is on the ground
The man standing over him
Belt in hand
Oh the irony

The first boy sits down
His friends crowd around
Concussion is found
Hit by a locker
And now is at the doctor

The first boy goes home
To a poor family
To a small house
To an unhappy life
To depression
To anger
To suicide

The first boy screams
But no one deems
It important
No matter how absorbent
The physical bandage
Can be banded

The second boy stays still
Clothes off
Bloody and beaten
Assessing his wounds
Just to go back
And beat the first boy some more
Oh the irony

The anger the first boy feels
All of those deals
Only to be let down
And told he was a clown

The first boy is sad
The crying never stops
While the second boy laughs
But hides the scars
Under his hoodie
While the first boy doesn’t
Oh the irony

The second boy runs
From what feels like a thousand guns
But in reality
In actuality
There is only one
And it isn’t a gun

The first boy’s life is over
He gave up
But his story will never be forgotten
Because in the sea of many
He wasn’t the only one

Bullying is wrong
But you must be strong
For behind every bully
There is trully
A troubled past


Details | Free verse | |

Quiet Waters

Streams of blue fluid 
Flows downward 
As fragile carcasses decay 
Without a peep of a sound

We’re in the brink of disaster… 

Who invited such fear and anguish?
Who could lead us to quiet waters?

We bleed…
Polluting the waters below us… 
Trickling down the mountain
To our filthy feet…

Cleansing the sin off of our skin
But, it’s tangled from deep within…

The eeriness breaks 
The hearts of a thousand strangers
They all fall away powerlessly… 
Into the chambers of death 

Danger is lurking in every corner…
Pursuing its evil plans
To cut down our hopes…
Growing like crops… 
Rising rapidly –  
It never stops

Dreams of misfortune still 
Rapes our minds,
Plaguing our happiness… 
Consuming the darkness…

We’re sprawling on the ground…
We’re crawling like infants…
Veering briskly like serpents…

Who will set our souls free 
From suppression?  

Who will preserve our hearts?
Don’t prey upon our 
Guiltless lives… 
We’re in complete agony… 
Does He consider 
Our prayers  
Of support and nourishment? 

We scream…
Breaking the repulsive solitude…

Encourage us to keep on 
Trekking toward Your light

Where’s Your path?

You rinse off all of the sorrow 
Giving us a ecstatic tomorrow 

The weeping ceases…
While the corpses 
Tear into 
Blood-spattered 
Pieces…  

The faith of a couple of people
Strengthens us…keeps us motivated…
Not captivated…
In misery…
We’re reaping our 
Ecstasy…   
Leading us to peace and fortune 
Keeping us accustomed
To Your purifying spirit…
Keeping us away from 
Calamity… 

We’re hungry… 
Our demise is close at hand…
Closing in on us abruptly 
Like an obscure cave…

Rescue us from affliction –  
Embracing downhearted clouds…

Those wretched clouds…

Brought us rain when we asked for bread…

Those merciless clouds…

Spewed out scorching fire when we asked for relief…

Remember our supplications… 
Appalling lightning’s daring to strike us  
Out of cruel vengeance 
Out of sheer amusement 

Don’t even attempt to weaken us
We’re blossoming in joy…
We’re under cover… 
You can’t manipulate us 
Like a subtle toy 

We’re praying for
Quiet waters

Offer the deceased 
A second chance

Don’t disown 
Our broken lives

We’re not alone…

We’re just waiting until
The quiet, glistening waters
Gratefully arrives…


Details | Free verse | |

The Sun Goes Down On My Days

My writings are merely shadows of my regrets

The taste of sadness, of thoughts left unsaid

Touches not felt - 

Tears that dried, leaving salty traces

The feeling of emptiness in my hands, my arms

Walking slowly through my memories...

I long for the moment to come

when I can reach up and touch the sky

I long for one last, unending kiss

I wish I could say "no regrets" as I muse all alone

Now- in a deep shade of purple the flowers fall asleep...

as the sun goes down on my days
__________________________________________



Details | Free verse | |

Little One

Fields black and sundered so,
Mists of tears, forgot in woe,
Showers of rain, standing still,
Skin as white as snow,

Passers by wander not a sight,
Pay no heed to such a blight,
Showers of rain, lost in ill,
Wandering each... stone cold night,

Forgot, abandoned, this lowly one,
Hope is lost, all yet none,
Showers of rain, brights forsaken,
Misbegotten hope, now that all is done.


Details | Free verse | |

Trying Not To Love You

I'm trying not to love you
Trying not to need you
I'm really trying to start hating you
Even that doesn't seem to make sense
How else can i show my deepest grief
Its tearing me apart
Standing in the balcony 
Staring at the days gone by 
kicking against walls and against the bricks
To a lost love
A lost dream.


Details | Free verse | |

Decay

Decay Teething in dismay What kind of world am I in … What kind of useless tool… Breaking…decaying Fragmented lies You crush me and grind me away Like a tasteless joy Gone No decoy Not able to accept Who I am Shredding me to bits Because you can Because something so small Throws you off the edge And baffles the beholder I saw it begin to rot But I didn’t want to believe it What a cruel world I am in Stuck in this selfish ache Hate me Go ahead, it’s ok Because you’ll never understand me And I don’t want you to Because you cannot let things go Everything has to be handed to you So here are the reigns Take them Or throw them in my face I’m never leaving you You’re leaving me It was always that way Because no one can dwell in this world I live in Such a simple world With the most ruthless personalities Banging at every closed door Let it go Can't you see something’s missing?


Details | Free verse | |

Moral Conscious

Moral Consciousness deserts me
When do I deem the necessity for action
Or hold in what feels like
the reluctant shadow of ignorance
Fiend! that it may be.
I cannot allow for non action to succeed
For those that suffer without 
Will suffer so much more than me
How much will my morality demand I give
When I see so much of what I need
To help here but not there
To help now but never before
What hesitation do I feel for 
being unable 

Sufferance of what has passed
but not yet what is to come
Ignorance may be bliss 
though it comes hand in hand with death
Action I deem to take
for my spirit aches
I lie here in my bed
afraid of what to give
mistrust for those who take
Sorrow for those who wait
The crushing revelation that 
all is and may still be late 

Tragedy that has unfolded
has kept me awake
unable to shake what I feel must take
but how easy the memory fades
when I slip away with aid
forget until my moral conscious 
awakes again and demands
action today.


Details | Free verse | |

Where do the Flowers go in Winter Part Three

             (continued from Where do the Flowers go in Winter Part Two)


All your father wanted was a son
And I gave him a son
Big strong boy-he was
But he died
And we had you to replace him
                                               You
                                                    you"

Damn her Soul!
Damn her Soul!
                       A child
                               Mommy I was but a child
Defenseless
                                Against her
Why did she hate me?
Why did my mother hate me?
She wouldn't give me a chance
Never did she hold me
Never did she kiss me
Never did she weep for me

                             "Seek Jesus!"
                                              She told me when I was ten
She became very religious
Whenever she wasn't at church
She took time off  to go to work
Her family was nonexistence to her
                Saving souls for Jesus
                Saving souls for Jesus


                                               "...it's okay to show emotions son
Even I shed a few tears for her"
I got up from the chair
I hugged my father
                           "Thanks Dad"

Weeks went by
           I am at her grave
           The tombstone
"A woman who loved everyone
                                             And who was loved by everyone"
She did not love me 
And I did not love her

The snow is gone now
It has yielded to grass of green
Birds sing in trees against skies of blue
Flowers, O yes
My mother and I loved flowers
Flowers all kinds of flowers
She favored roses
But I like irises
All my three sisters
                             Even my dead brother
They were born in Spring and Summer months
She called them her little blossoms
I was born the same month as she
       In Winter
       In January
No flowers, no birds to sing
Just snow, ice winds, cold
                                     Numbness
"Mother!"
          Where do the flowers go in winter?
           Why can't they bring you love then?
I feel to my knees
Against her tombstone
And I begin to weep
First one tear from the right eye
Suddenly two from the left eye
             Violently
                         I cried
                                  And cried
And cried
For no matter
                   No matter
That eternal spark of joy
                                   Burst into a flame of infinite sorrow
I knew   That Yes    I loved her
   I loved my mother.
                                     (the end)          


Details | Free verse | |

Alone, I Roam Home

Life's like a dream
It has its highs and lows
You're going along with the ride
You might have a boost of self-esteem  
Or it might inject you with blues and abominable frowns 

*chorus* Alone, I roam alone x3
Tonight, I walk alone
Tonight, I will be loner,
but a selfish winner... I suppose 
I'm writing lyrics and poetry, not prose

Anything's better than to be left in my solitude...my sorrow is licking me...it's licking the smiles off my face
I can't keep pace...I'm floating into space and I'm reaching for the stars now... See me fly so wondrously in thin air
Without a care x2
In the world...so stress-free and full of inner glee
Full of inner light
Full of inner darkness

*chorus* Alone, I roam alone x3
Tonight, I walk alone
Tonight, I will be loner,
but a selfish winner... I suppose 
I'm writing lyrics and poetry, not prose

Taking advantage of a great possibility...
I'm anxiety-free...happy-go-lucky...
But, I feel like I'm a total wreck and a Downright losahhhhh 

*chorus* Alone, I roam alone x3
Tonight, I walk alone
Tonight, I will be loner,
but a selfish winner... I suppose 
I'm writing lyrics and poetry, not prose
*Bridge* Alone, I roam alone x3
Everyone is gone 
From my sight...
It's as if I'm invisible...
No one sees me...
Anymore 

Just build your strengths and deal with them while you carry on 
Just try with all of your might to
Fight the good fight 
But, they tell me to grow up...I was like, "who? Me...oooooh...dude, watch out, alright?"
And I tell them to stop being so mean and nodded them a "what's up"

I'm so far away from my home
Alone, I roam home...come on x2 
They tell me to grow up...
And I tell em to shut up!

*chorus* Alone, I roam alone x3
And no ones cares...
It's so unfair...this pain's unbearable 
Tonight, I walk alone
Tonight, I will be loner,
but a selfish winner... I suppose 
I'm writing lyrics and poetry, not prose and all that jazz...

And I tell em straight to their faces: 

"I'd rather walk alone...
than to walk with you jerks...and don't call my phone"
Ooooooh burn...


Details | Free verse | |

How Do I Let You Go

What will be
Will be!
I know of this, first hand
Your life was taken away
So abruptly!
I will 
Never forget
That day!
Till the day 
My body dies
And
I am with you, again!

“How was I to prepare myself?”
With 
That kind of 
Life changing, event!
You 
Didn't warn me 
You
Were permanently leaving!
I hope 
You know 
How much “I love you”
Know
You will never be forgotten!

I don’t know 
What 
Has got into me!
Consciously
I feel you
Inside me
I see images
Of your face 
So clearly!
Am I crazy 
To believe in this, my love?

“Are you still with me?”
“Is my imagination 
Playing cruel tricks
Running rampant
As
I talk with you
As if 
You were by my side, right now

In my heart and mind
Your face etched
Imprinted
Like a blue print
That never fades
Your foot prints 
Still remain, beside me
My heart beats
Eternally
Trying to make sense of everything!

Forgive me, my love
For being so strong in my feeling
For it has been a long time
Since I lost you, my friend
Something 
I haven’t
Quite
Got over!

My heart 
Having 
A mind of its own
Aching 
To be with you, still!
To see you
To smell you
To touch you
To taste you
One
Last time!

I want to say “Goodbye” 
Once and for all!
As 
We have
Brought out
The best and worst 
In each other
Rivers run deep
When it comes to you and me!

We have had our fair share of fights and arguments
Stubborn disagreements
All of them
Meaningless
Now
You cease to exist!

I miss your lingering touches
Your hand, stroking my face
Your big, blue eyes
Looking into mine
Your warm lips
Your rough, unshaven face 
The way you
Passionately
Kiss me
While
We make love, till dawn

I miss
All those nights
You kept me 
Safe and warm!
I miss
Your
Loving embrace
I miss
Your
Reassurance!
“Am I ever going to feel the same, with another?”
Just
As 
I felt
In your arms, my love?

How
Do I let you go?
How
Do I set myself, free?
I am ready
To love, again!
With 
‘Our eternal love’
Supporting
And 
Guiding me
Especially
In times, like these!


Details | Free verse | |

Duster

Eyes are the very centre of being: within their deepest gaze, love
Can be reflected and above all: the most vibrant spark of life.
Eyes can give a look of scorn, or frustration, resent or desperation, simple and innocent joy or contentment.

We can look into eyes, and see all life has to offer;
I do not think another look shall be seen…

I promised you would feel no pain in your dreamy rest.
I promised all the heavy breathing that burdened your flame and
Pure energy; I promised you would breath again.

And so you do, breathe forever as the wind.
You form the wisp of air that passes my face
And the gust of rain that patterns the night,
The breeze of summer that will ease my grief
And the movement of clouds and the skies.
But never will I forget, those cries of fear
As I, oblivious, took you outside in the cold.

There’s no pain as great as a memory
But I will cling to these memories
Till I too, am a breath in the wind.

11/11/2013


Details | Free verse | |

A DANCE UNTO DEATH

When the deafening dead drum beats pierce the air
Strong echoes reverberating through the mind
With its soul-shaking sensations
And mind-maddening melodies
Halting the hisses of hateful hearts
Even as it was, is the noblest act
Flowing freely from a free fair spirit.

...The sweetest poison is brewed
The most attractive trap is laid
A death so dearest is designed...

Smothered is the mind's sane judgement
Compromising the heart
Standing the soul for a dance
A dance so macabre yet thrilling
A dance so grave yet exciting
A dance performed less conscience and reasoning
A dance unto death.


Details | Free verse | |

Find Me

We are all made from dust
One day when I die
And my body is burnt to ash,
How will you find me, when my body is no longer there?

How will you know it's me,
If my body is buried deep beneath the ground?
How will you be able to reach me,
To hold me in your arms? 

My biggest fear isn't dying,
It's being apart from you. 


Details | Free verse | |

Life On The Street

Dried up like a reservoir
In the mid summer heat
The cracks in the ground
Are like
The life lines, upon my face
I have weathered many a storm
As if
I have lived a 100 lifetimes,
Instead of one! 

Bare, rough, dirty feet
Shoes are hard to come by,
These days
Unless, I steal them!
But, then I will become a target
Having something new
It will get stolen from me
By some other gang
Or by some cruel and nasty person!

“Bare feet it is!”
“Less problems, this way!”
Feet are made for walking
I will use them
For what
They are made for!
“Now let’s get something to eat, I am starving!”

Loitering around Hungry Jacks and Macca's
Asking people 
As they walk out
With their hot, delicious, fresh food
For a gold coin or two
Dumpsters and bins
Look nice, today!
Only half eaten, stuff
A lot of wastage!
“Not the freshest stuff, but hey!”
Make do, with what we have!

The sun is shining today
Not sure where to wash though...
Water is scarce, thank god for public toilets
They sure come in handy!
They say it is fun
And you are lucky to have freedom!
But, 
It is a lie we tell ourselves
To remain ignorant
To pretend, we don’t give a damn
But, inside, 
We really do!

For you see ,
There are sacrifices
To the choices you make
When you have to live them, out
“Don’t be a fool!”
Life is no fairytale, on the dirty streets of hell!

During the day, 
The city lights up
It glitters 
As if
It were made out of gold!
It comes alive with people
Rushing here, rushing there, rushing everywhere
Not really knowing, what 
They are presently, doing 
People reminding me of robots, sheep and zombies
Acting as if they are in control of everything
When in fact, they are not!

"Who knows what is around the corner?"
"What is coming, your way!"
Life is unpredictable,
"Beware!"

“Don’t be mislead by the fakes, around here”
“There is plenty of them!”
Eyes are on you,
Down every alley way
Standing on every corner
Watching you
"You, are in ‘our territory’ now!"

“Hold onto your bags tight!”
For, 
I may be lurking behind you
One minute there,
Next minute gone!
It is the nature of the game
As
I snatch and grab your bag
When I see you off guard
Taking your money
Claiming it, as my own
You see,
I need it to survive on!
I'm banking on you, being rich!
I told you
This place is a hell hole
And, 
I meant it!

This dark place
Full of shadows and conscious deceit
Will swallow you up 
Eating, you alive!
You will lose your way
In its pit of endless darkness
There is no Prince Charming’s, out here!
There is no one to save you
There are only damsels in distress
Like me!

No one
Comes to your aid
When you need it the most
You could diminish and disappear one day
Within a blink of an eye!
Without a hint 
Nor trace of you, left behind
No one will see it happen
Because
No one
Opens their mouth up, around here!
So,
Love and appreciate, one another!
Care for yourself and care for others!
Tell your loved ones 
'you love them' often
And,
‘Enjoy' 
The home, you live in!


Details | Free verse | |

A Song for My Ghost

talk to me thru the night
im holding onto this
love, is my skin cold?
love, have i left u yet?

the pain u give saves me from myself
so hurt me til u breakthru
ive got these memories behind my eyes
ive been singing for u

hold me transparent
ghost of u, ghost of me
love, are my eyes open?
love, can u feel my body?

i feel the shock running thru my blood
as my spirit leaves here for u
give as many words as u can spare
and do the things u do

touch me thru the amber
ive been waiting for this
love, is is midnight yet?
love, can u take me now?


Details | Free verse | |

Revel In My Ruins

virgin feet,
i stepped onto the quicksand
in ignorance of it’s
deceit.
as the clouds
overhead draw
together in the
grayest anger,
my heart hurts for relief.
i stand tall, but
that doesn’t change the
reality of this
disaster.
you were a tornado that
spun me for a loop;
so much destruction
in such a short time.
i can’t admit my defeat so
i’ll suffer in silence and
watch you walk away.
no matter if there’s nothing
left for me to rebuild
myself:
this is the end.


Details | Free verse | |

SUCH IS DEATH

SUCH IS DEATH

Hungry as death.
Impartial as death.
Absolute as Death.
Such is Death!

Grazing on souls.
Barely with no notice.
Might take me for a fool.
If I had no form of memory

Rancid as Death.
Uninvited as Death.
Insecure as Death.
Such is Death!

Sets anguish upon the family.
Ends a legacy of reputation.
Rules in all sorts of anarchy.
A check and balance of confrontation.

Clean as Death.
Maiden as Death.
Beautiful as Death.
Such is Death!

Never misses her target.
A bet with a perfect wager.
A dice with the same sides.
A sad tale but such is life.

Great as Death.
Cruel as Death.
Final as Death.
Such is Death!


Details | Free verse | |

Imprisoned to pain

Alas! I, the jailbird imprisoned to pain,
eyes impregnated with saline tears,
shed blood clots in torrential fall.
My face soaked in red droplets as
my mouth tore apart wide-mouthed.
In rumbustious regrets my screams rumbled
into a dirge in your memory.
Hush a rhythm of love and peace surfaced.




FOR Frank Herrera contest: REGGRETS


Details | Free verse | |

BABY doll

Porcelain face
Fake smile
Dull laugh

Is she your perfect baby doll
Does she have perfection enough
For you to hold?
Is she the good girl
Not always as bold?

Does she care?
Does she listen to your every word spoken?
Does she feel when trouble stirs
Is she your perfect baby doll?

Is her face perfect enough for YOUR smile?
Are her eyes bright enough to light you up?

Is she powdered plastered pasted together enough to not let her cracks show?
Is she your perfect baby doll?

Is she proud enough to watch you grow
Change
Mould?

Is she strong enough to hold your once broken heart not to let it fall?
Is she your perfect baby doll?

I was am and never will be
What you seem to crave
A seemingly perfectly powdered plastered pasted
Baby doll


Details | Free verse | |

Day after day

Day after day,
A grapple,
A pursuit for fame, affluence, eminence.

Day after day,
A vexation,
A pursuit for acclamation, adoration, recognition.

Day after day,
A melancholia,
A pursuit for lust, desire, persuasion.

Day after day,
An inner resilience,
Dialectic for my existence.

Day after day.


Details | Free verse | |

Oblivious Night

So many known faces,
So many recite-worthy roads and ways,
We don’t meet again, how many days
Gone;

With this goblet, I recall those names,
And I had have my drinks
With these oblivious nights,
Accompanied by my loneliness,
Alone.


Details | Free verse | |

Voices In My Head

Cheap; Raunchy; Absentee; Tempted to kill; With uses limited to exploitation; Not really them; Some unknown thing; Testing different amounts of pressure; Looking for the right amount; Neon colors; Neon gas; Visibility; The curvature of the earth;


Details | Free verse | |

9:11 PM on 9-11

9:11 PM on 9/11

(1st line: 9 syllables
2nd line: 11 syll.'s

1st line: 9 syllables
2nd line: 11 syll.'s
etc.)

I give honor to those heroic 
Individuals who have sacrificed their lives 

Thanks, everyone, who viewed this day with
Reverence, consideration and meekness 

For all who passed away on this day – 
I’m sorry to hear of the destruction you

Saw with terror and grief…soon, there will 
Be peace on Earth…Rest in Peace and rise in Mirth 

Ev’ry year, when this day comes, sorrow
Sweeps over me…at nine eleven PM

Chaos will keep on brewing…grab the
Rope of hope…We need the Divine Savior soon…

For all who are grieving on this day,
I’d like to hand you a handkerchief…don’t weep!

Take heart, you cold-blooded Terrorists
Who p-planned on taking down the Twin Towers

Rest in peace…when you all awaken, 
Be in High Spirits, you splendid sunrises

Written by me ~  
This poem is dedicated wholeheartedly to the 9/11 event ~


Details | Free verse | |

Ecliptic Silence

Hopeful but its so mundane
Filling the hollowness with more empty pleasure
But it takes my hand and and walks me through this withering decay
Into the ecliptic silence, 
Self medicated diluted dreams
A mixture of over stimulation and desensitizing me 
Somewhere between ominous and beautiful
Letting the darkness consume my conscious brain
Until the sun can realign and pulls me back into this day
To overcome this strange numbness 
Of self inflicted shadowing
Butterflies once warmed me up inside until I pulled off all their wings
Holding memories I cant forget while praying to a God who has forgot
But we are only allowed to keep the things that we have already lost
Sometimes living is not enough without sovereignty 
As these flightless insects crawl back inside 
Then perhaps through their death life would be more satisfied
Finger deep I draw a line then stand to face a blackened sky
I reevaluate Your presence now without You Lord then where am I 
Because this is me You were my light, subsequently my faith has died
Somewhere below the surface of this shifting unstable world of mine


Details | Free verse | |

Everyone's Gone

Everyone's gone...
There's no one to look up to...not one...
Not one will be kind enough
To look down and attempt to help me...

Everyone's gone...
I'm beneath the debris
There's no one there to save me...
I'm left to my own misery 

Everyone's gone...
I guess I'll find my way out of this maze
Without any clues
I'm waiting for relief to dawn upon me

Everyone's gone
I'm dealing with so much trauma 
I'm watching for any signs of support...
Hear my echoes of pain...
It drives me insane...
Catch me before I fall off the cliff...

Everyone's gone
I'm all skin and bones
I'm trapped like a hunted animal
The predator took a bite into me...
Don't just watch me suffer...
Deserted in this lonesome state

Everyone's gone
I'm kicked around like a soccer ball 
Hear me as I call...
Help me to stand tall

Help me... 
Reach up to the sky
To feel the coolness seep through me
Help me...
To be inspired to write more uplifting songs
Help me think more positively - help me wave g'bye
Help me...
Forgive me for all of my wrongs...

Everyone's gone
I'm a screwed-up building
I need you to be my backbone 
Straighten me up...help me to be stiff like a soldier
About to enter another horrifying war
Support me today...
And stick with me tomorrow!

I want to let go of the past memories...
Scaring away my happy moments and delights 
I want to smear away the blasphemies…
Obliterating my blissful days and nights

Everyone's gone...
There's no one to depend on...not one...
Not one will be brave enough
To look down and attempt to help me...

Everyone's gone...
I'm beneath the city
There's no one to show me the jolly sun...
I'm left to my own misery 

Everyone's gone...
Fine… I'll find a way to get out of this nightmare 
Without any clues
I'm waiting for relief to give me strength instead of fear 


Details | Free verse | |

Reflection of Tears

I can hear a faint sobbing
It's despair screaming in my soul.
Crying out for help and I can't reach them
Who can it be...?

The sound is so  familiar.
Dread heavies my heart
Searching for an answer
A whisper in the dark.

Where's the light?
Has it been long gone?
A broken mirror hung sadly near me
I peered to my reflection
Only to see tears staining my cheeks
Could it be?
That it was always me...


Details | Free verse | |

Where do the Flowers go in Winter Part One

She is Dead
                 numbness
                                 not sorrow
                                                not grief
                                                            Just numbness.

Over came me
My eyes they are dry
No tears can they shed
My heart it is the same
No feelings of loss
No feelings of pain
                                                    WHY?
I must feel sadness
But deep inside
Deeply inside
There is a spark of eternal Joy

My sisters they weep openly
A thousand tears of emptiness they release
From redden eyes
                       
                           Even my father
                                 Who I thought
                                  I honestly believed
                                  Had long ago
                                   Stopped loving her
He cries alone in a chair by his bed
Alone in the dark
Gently the tears roll off his cheek
To his lap
                            Quietly
                                     Silently
                             He lets them roll

Than suddenly he grasp his face
With both his big hands
As if to tare out his eyes
His head and back collapse to his knees
He falls from his chair
                             And snobs.
Yes even Father
Who treated her so cold
Even he loved her.

She is Dead.
                Gone from this life forever
                But that is what she wanted
                When I was but a lad of nine
                 And she a lady of thirty three
                 Do you know what she told me?
                 When we were in the car
                 Just her and me
"I want to die!"
                  She said it
                                  Just like that
"I want to die before I'm fifty
I don't want to age"
         "But Mommy I love you"
Tears seep from this babe's face
          "Mommy you must live forever!
           I love you Mommy!
           I love you Mom-"


"SHUT UP!                                                       SHUT UP!
I wish I was dead so I would never
Have to see your face again!"

After that day I stopped loving her
         How could I love something I might lose?
         How could a boy
          A mere boy
                                    Understand?

            (continued Where do the Flowers go in Winter (Part two)
                 



         


Details | Free verse | |

Puppy Love

When I first saw your picture, my little ball of fluff; I loved you. He handed over the cash and I sold you my heart. You came to me without papers but it didn't matter -- you sealed the certificate with several loving licks. Each stroke made the happiness in my chest tick.

You were my baby and I'll always love you.

Knew I couldn't have kids and I wanted my first son to be Bentley; that's why it was first love when you met me. Bought you clothes and toys and the best munchies. Had to spoil my little man like it's supposed to be.

Whenever I'd get in fights you'd kiss away my tears. My friends missed my calls but my dog took away my fears. I'll miss my buddy; he was a girl's best friend. The closest thing an infertile young lady could get in the end.

I'll miss you.


Details | Free verse | |

Fat

Doubled over like a sandbag 
I examine the scars of gluttony 
And the leftovers of
 mistake cake

Little blistered trails litter
My infirm white skin
Like little red tears in my heart
They shame me, they wet my eyes
They burry my suffocating bones
Under the weight 
Of what I’ve done

And each step I take to heal 
Brandishes new stains 
Each bounding step
Unearths deep heaves in my chest
And air can’t come soon enough
The salt won’t stop building up

And I am just pile of sand
Unable to stand
Or take his hand
And be something worth a smile 
Or a kiss, or a diamond on the wrist
I am stuck in a room 
And I can’t get out 
Not here, not now
And I know that…
It’s because I am fat.


Details | Free verse | |

Less Than A Day

The touch of your whispers has blown through the air
And the wave of summer disappears in the sand
There’s nothing to stop these memories are gone
Let the playbook now rest for the feelings they’ve stopped
Slowly it turns the small hands on your wrist
The knots in your belly have clenched like a fist
You picture the east and close her eyes
For the dawn’s a coming in all of our lives
The night’s now bleeding forever it tilts
Circling the orbit no rest from the filth
Rivers are flowing and spirits are dim
And the skies from the ocean will always stand still
The pain from the east has moved to the west
These days are numbered just like the rest
Blind in the rivers the hand clears it away
The whole world has changed in less than a day


Details | Free verse | |

The Yearning and Ache

Once held a Title
A means to associate oneself
With thee Who meant more
Although it was not felt until
Another time
Perhaps the wrong or right time
It is hard to say
Thee Who Meant something
Even though, at the time
I was not meant for thee
Gave what thee needed
Attempted to help
Even when those attempts were taken 
Taken and possibly forgotten
Forgot the words, their meaning and intent
Title gone, at times used with a teasing sense
Perhaps even Mocking to what was once something
Maybe for comical purposes too but
I do not know
Regardless, the feeling is there
The feeling of thee, at one point, having a special place in thoust heart
For...someone who possibly did not deserve it
But for someone who came to harbor it
Harbor thou as someone who felt so appeasing
In several ways
The memories that are exciting to think about
To live in
To dwell on
Leaves one in a state of heartache
Not for the possibilities
Those were accepted as nothing but fantasy
A fantasy you appeared to not want to take part in
But for what once Was
What was once so Serene
So...Beautiful?
Would I dare go so far?
In this state of mind...Yes
Beautiful
Is what the moments were
Even if bad and were filled with nothing but grief and worry for thee
And thou's predicament
It always enough to be in thou's presence
To talk with thou and hear thou's voice
Addressing this one, who would revel in thou's every word 
Share moments with thee
Those moments were what one would look to
Look to without hesitation and always with purpose
A purpose to strengthen the bond
The bond that would, if not sever
Diminish into something that is...
Dreaded
Dreaded with every chatting
With every sitting
Every glance and mention
Taken with a dread that pierces the very core
The core of what aches for something that cannot be Changed
Changed to something more...
Manageable


Posted this with much reluctance.
Constructive criticism is welcomed.
Any suspiciously hinted negativity will be questioned thoroughly and then decided whether to be removed or not.

Thanks for reading, that is, assuming you did, and not just skim and or scan through for some inspiration, if so then you're welcome for something to scan and gain some degree of importance from.;P


Details | Free verse | |

No Throne for Me

(2/11/2014)

My heart hurts 
Aches inside me like the muscle that it is
And I am cracking the bell that forgot to…
I rang it a million times   
Rang for you and for you and for you
Rang so loudly that my feet hurt and my body ached.

Forget me. I will sit in my shell absorb my nutrients 
through osomosis, photosynthesis, and have no need 
for you.  No need for any of the words you say or don’t say
From your place in the clouds of catholic school books,
Blue sky and billowing white clouds 
Radiating pinks and yellows from the sun.
Beads with you in your clouds,
Golden halos and bare feet.
The three of you in your blessed trinity
Three holy thrones with no seat for me. 


Details | Free verse | |

Nirbhaya's Agony

A 23 year old girl who was very happily living in this world,
from Bihar this girl came to Delhi to become A DOCTOR.
Her pretty face appearance was shown for the last time to her parents,
as her dreams had all split as the turning point in this girl's life was quite absurd.
it was not at all an understandable situation as NIRBHAYA on the night of 16 December 
was in a white bus where,for 2 hours she was brutally beaten up.
The six people behaved in such a vulgar way,as the girl had asked them for there
body parts to donate.
This incident was a shocking one,as nothing like this had happened in the past.
Rallies were held for her,people were crying,as she was fighting for her life,
but her will power was so strong,that she told her parents 
that she was going to come back to see the 6 demons die on the spot.
Unfortunately this did not happen as her last breath she took was on 29 December.
But her parents continued to fight for her,and at last NIRBHAYA got her justice in the
second week of September the 4 were ordered to be hanged.
Among them there was a teenager who was jailed by the commissioners,
one of them hanged himself as his guilt had irritated him for the behavior he had done.
After that the whole world rejoiced on the victory of this brave girl,who was no more
but only in the candle lights of the people.


Details | Free verse | |

To God

If thou are a god indeed, Ah! I wonder if thou still seek abode in thy lonely cage 
of thy freedom. If ever thou seek life in the begging souls of the temple door; if 
thou seek delight in the holy dim lit candles.

My heart is a grief for a place in heaven and beauty makes me dream of thee. But 
thou hide in the empty hues of earth and wake in hymens and tales of men. So 
much are men in thy company, yet thou are a lonely soul.


Details | Free verse | |

When he went away

When he went away,

He said,"Lehitraot,mama."

Do vstrechi.

He died but I'm still here

Yes,in my heart I feel his love.

But why did I live,

And he did not?

Auf wiedersehen

Lehitraot.

Yes,darling,I'll see you later,

When the sky turns black and all the stars blaze bright

I'll see you shining in the night.

I'll see you in my dreams alas.

Do vstrechi.

But why you and not me too?

Araka

I can't understand.

Lehitraot,beloved.

A plus tard

Some where in this world,you fell

But no-one,not even God, can tell.

God was absent then or in some other place

He's gone again.

They said He's died too,

But He didn't have a mother like you.

Do vstrechi.

My breasts ache and my heart and soul,

My breasts were made to make you whole.

To feed, give love and to console.

A plus tard

And now they ache with grief as my tears fall.

A bientot

My body trembles in the night

As dreams may bring my lost ones to my sight.

A plus

I'd walk across the roughest bleak terrain

If l I could find my loves and hold your hands again.

Do vstrechi.

The bell rings on the ancient clock

As time goes on as normal ,it doesn't stop.

Araka

I wish the hands of time could be reversed,

And I was not living with this curse.

People forget that I once had a son.

They think my grieving has been done.

Araka.

But grief and loss and pain will never end

Until the curtain of my death descends

Auf wiedersehen.

Meantime I look at flowers and birds and trees,

But it's really you my deepening insight sees.

Lehitraot.

Th inscape of my heart is shown to few,

An artist of the lost would know this view.

I know I want to see just you.

Do vstrechi.

But for me there is no

Auf wiedersehen

Never again will you say

What you said that day

Lehitraot,

Mama.

Papa

A plus tard

Tot ziens.

See you later

See you soon.

See you.


You


 the beloved


Details | Free verse | |

True Reality

Why is it
I am always wrong?
Something
I have always done?
Why is it
I am 
Never good enough
In your eyes
In challenging times?

How many times
Do I have to say
“I love You?”
What will it take
To convince
That mind 
And 
Heart 
Of yours?

What can I say
That will ease 
This jealousy
And 
Resentment
You feel towards me
When drinking 
Too much booze
Killing what brain cells
Are left
In that stubborn 
Head of yours!

How long 
Will it take
For you 
To believe in me?
For I know
I am a fool 
Staying here, with you!
Feeling desperate
Lost and lonely
Dreams squashed
Emotionally drained
When ‘we’ need to pull together
In union ship
To make 
This bond strong
Between us!

'Uniting as One’'

'Love Conquering All'

“Well!”
“So, I am told!”

I love you more
Than this
Arguing and fighting!
But 
You refuse to understand
The love I have for you

My head 
Tells me to stay with you
But
My heart knows
I cannot!
For
I have asked you 
To be kind to me
I have asked
You to open up 

Your anger and rage
Continues growing
Out of control
Taking over
Like
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde 
Burning bridges
Being ruthless
Always
Out for the kill!

I need to break away!
I need to clear my head!
I need to experience
Love and longevity
True togetherness
With 
The one’s I love!
My heart needs to experience
‘Healthy Love’
My heart deserves the best!
You now
Belong in my past
I am no longer the person
You once knew me, to be

Your insecurities
Your inner demons 
Far bigger
Than any of the love
You choose to acknowledge 
Or 
Feel from me!

You can believe this 
To be true
If nothing else!

“Love thy self”

Share
Without personal gain
Being 
Your Primary Motive!
Know Love 
Be Love, in Action!

Be honest
Have empathy now
As
I cut these cords
Of emotional bondage
That 
Bind us together 
True Love 
No longer 
Our foundation!

I stand on my own
Knowing
I have learnt the lessons
You have come to teach
I now know
What love isn't!
“I thank you”
For showing me this!

My illusions of love
Blinding me
Colouring my experiences
Revealing
Only what 
'I Wanted Us To Be'
Not
‘True Reality’


Details | Free verse | |

UNTITLED

written 30th Nov 2001


Lost and alone
 for she doesn't know where to go
This mother is now stuck
 she weighs up her options
And see's she is fighting against gossips 
 she stops, and takes a look at this world
What have they done, to this lovable little girl
 as she open's her eye's
Only to be faced, with all there lie's
 feeling alone and tired
She walk's on, to only find
 she is saying good-bye..
Taking one last look around
 before she lay's down on the ground
As her eye's completely, silently close
 she whispers, her final prayer to die
Still she walk's on, lost and alone
 but the difference now is quite clear 
For you can see her soul.....just disappeared...


Details | Free verse | |

Depression someone cares

To all depressed souls out there
For I am one myself I feel your despairer
Take heart your not alone
Trapped in a darkened zone
God s a rock cling to him tight
Read his word and pray both day and night
To guide you through the darkness into the light
You may feel it's a hopeless task
But please try
With all my heart
I ask you to speak to someone
But know this
Someone cares and is always there
For you.




Peter Dome.copyright.2014. Aug.


Details | Free verse | |

Last Prayer

Last Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep
Medication Russian Roulette
Praying to the lord my soul he shall keep
Please God don’t let me awake
I yearn to embark on this slumber
A slumber which knows no end
Closing my eyes; never to open again
The one thing I ask dear Lord
May my loved ones never weep
For embarking on my eternal sleep

By: Tim Lundmark


Details | Free verse | |

Destruction

Sound the alarm War Is Upon Us, war is upon us!!!!
Chaos, panic, and fear rushed in like a herd of gnu trampling the Serengeti
Blinded by the smoke screens intended to mask the enemies movements
Weapons drawn aimlessly pointing with no understanding
Destruction plagued the land spilling corpse, laid bare for show
Visuals for the fallen decorate the ruins
How short live is the plea for the martyred


Details | Free verse | |

ANYTHING FOR YOU

Baby girl, you are my world
So why can't I fix what ails you?
I am told that I say and do the wrong thing
How else am I to fail you?

I hurt when you hurt but I'm told
I have no right
I try to show you how much I care
Even though I'm not always within sight

Inside, I feel great despair
I gave birth to you but you are not mine
Please listen, oh please mind so instead 
of quarreling why not say what is kind

I love you so much, I often wonder
What goes through your mind
And I hope that someday you can
See past whatever keeps you blind

Why the thought of losing you is
Why I continue this fight or flight
For all will reveal itself to you in due time


Details | Free verse | |

Analysed

Analysed

In pieces,
A broken mirror
Splinters of reflection leering at the sky,
Dry and lifeless,
Gasping, drowning in a dingy flood
A river, a tempest, a storm
Forlorn.

'You are the fragile one' she told me,
you smiled and clutched my hand.
'You are the fragile one' she said,
I smiled as you clutched my hand,
Did you understand?

Fragile?
Me?
Yes but in what sense?
Glass is fragile, and so is crystal,
Porcelain too and so are you.
Was it not you that cried,
Was it not I that died, inside.

I tried, God knows I tried,
I tried to be there for you and us and her,
Unsustainable, improbable
So sad inside,
So black, so oppressive
Nowhere to hide
From the beast within.

But remember Niagara?
You chased squirrels through the lens,
In a sense, we were happy then,
Juts you, just me.
I remember the garden, I always will
The rings at our fingers,
Were a light burden then,
The flame wreathed eye 
As yet unaware of our meagre presence.

I miss you and what we were or could have been,
I see it in her eyes, the last shreds
What little remains.

I can almost here you laughing still,
When your laughter was that of a girl
And the woman in you was but 
a butterfly drunk on pollen and sky,
why?

Why did it have to be this way?

Was it all my doing?
Was it me to kill the light of you?
Was it my darkness that thrust you into shadow?

I cannot say, I do not know, 
but I feel it to be so.

And that hurts,
And it is worst when I see her,
So happy, so free,
So much of you, in her,
So much of me.

Afraid.
She might become too much like me
Or too much like you,
Ideally let her be like us,
The better part of us and what we once were,
The better part of me, the better part of you,
In her.

Carlos


Details | Free verse | |

I am Vain like Veins

The stark gray of the rainfall in a tortured Heaven—this is how the you view the world
Not through eyes of reason or objective pondering
	As the minds of philosophers, of thinkers, of geniuses
But through the mind of subjective and bitter reactions
	Like the minds of viscous beasts hunting the Sheep and Lambs

           I am vain like veins..

Tepid clouds are actively shrouding the night
Thou shall kiss the moon with cold lips—
And again think with a fragile heart: do not worry it will not burn thee; 
the heat that was once searing  the day is hiding under the Luna
	Thou have an icy frame—like the gentle winters…
Do you know of the gods of love?—maybe in the signing of the leases you learned something 
from the Owner
	Thou were a sheep; thou were a lamb; thou were a subtle flower in the sweet smell of April…
but thou now has an icy frame—like the gentle winter
                     And the rotten tendrils of your decaying vines has a putrid stench

          I am vain like veins...

The monotonous drops of rain fall like tears…
 


Details | Free verse | |

Manic

Breath stolen breeds sharpness
Borne backward into infantile shrieks
The spinstress of sinew waits bated
For abhorrent heat
Of combustive, collapsive
Crossfire from echoing throat
Or burnt-bridge lungs
A visceral nymph thoughtlessly thieves
On Benedict tongue
Thrashing in maddened pace
Too shrill a manifesto
Skeletal soldiers charge
A red hill
Unsteady, uneven, not ready
Frenzy, not frolic
I am not a goddess
There is something to fear
I am something, I fear


Details | Free verse | |

The Temperate Valley

 Lie on rock
Think of feathers
While this cave keeps me sheltered 

I’ve slept like any man
Crawling through dreams
As bones curl
Round, like limp branches
On an empty willow.
And hair dampens in our quiet cellar
Or like an old rope, lost in trampled mud.
Pale skin, creased and folded,
Folding over.
Murmured withdrawals
As the face drips down,
Down, to where the fleas feed on inviting fingers.

But I’ve tossed and turned
And tussled with my thoughts
To wake screaming in unfamiliar rooms.
Dusk to dawn,
The smell of a burning nest,
Yet I lay still on a crushed pillow
Waiting for something and nothing
As the outside claws at the half open windows.
And the birds seem to sound like sirens.


Details | Free verse | |

Plans

We made plans while watching stars
Your words as sincere as a clown’s
All those dreams, lied, lay in the ground
Just run away from, from all you could have
I’m all you could have, it’s the truth

All those hours and days wasted on dreams
Dreams that I could see as reality
but Impatience is you
Oh no, 
waiting for things maturely would not do

In retrospect maybe I should be glad, 
I’m free from all the grief you brought, 
All that grief you had, you’re so sad
Sad and pathetic
Bear a little burden and you always let it win
Always choosing a grimace instead of a grin


Details | Free verse | |

Remains of the Fire

Embers extinguished
Spiritual fire remains
Wind catches the remnants
Never to be fully brought back
Allow thyself to prosper
Or thou shall never be free


Details | Free verse | |

Notary Unnoticed

I see
reflection

But is it 
me
seeing
again
as if
the first time
we hadn't
made love

Or perhaps
we
were
in love
and not
out of 
it

Pushing
it

between us

like
strangers


Details | Free verse | |

The Unknown Soldier

The Unknown Soldier

So many thousands have died
So many needless wars
Every land in the world has one
A man who died
Fighting for his country
No one will ever know his name
How he died
Where he took his last breath
Still, he is honored
Never forgotten
He lies in a cold crypt
Alone with no family coming to mourn him
He rests
His soul looking down from Heaven
He knows that someone, somewhere loves him
Even though they don’t know where he is
They mourn for him
Even though they do not know that he was a hero
He is The Unknown Soldier
And, after all these years
He is a national hero
Someone to be respected and honored
Even if no one knows his name


Details | Free verse | |

Ribcage - My Three Wishes - Chapter 6

Split apart your ribcage, 
Open up the corridor, and let me come in 
Uneasiness instantly strikes through me 
Let me sway away... 
Let me flutter away... 
Like a butterfly out of its cocoon  
I'm trapped! Let me depart  

Split apart your ribcage, 
Unwrap me, let me go! 
Believe me...reflect on me 
Let me sway away...flutter away 
Let us both seek the sun, 
So we can grow together once more

You think everything good is gone – you’re dead wrong!
You think this is the end – think again! I’ll make you feel like you belong! 

There’s a new beginning – this is not the end
Our hearts will never wither away or bend 
Our faith will never be shaken 
We won’t be pushed out of shape and bakin’ 

Split apart your ribcage, 
Unwrap me, for I’m left untamed 
Scrub away my filthy rage
Feeling this shame that must not be named 
“Let it go! Let it go!” – easy for you to say
Oh! Maybe I’ll let it go another day 
Just leave me be, so I can feed off of my dismay 
I spread my wings and attempt to reach for my dreams
But, I’m such a loser…it’s not what it seems
My self-esteem is broken
My loneliness is a remorse that is unspoken
Believe me...reflect on me 
Give me a chance…to experience cloud seven’s ecstasy 
Trust me…I know why I’m here, stranded in the middle of the wild, treacherous sea
The treacherous sea describes the way I feel, churning with hardly any dignity
Don’t fed me another spoonful of agony 
I’ll spit it out in envy…in displeasure…
Let me see what’s in store in the future, promising amity 
My sentiments will be as unpredictable as weather

Resurrect the delight, crawling in my veins and make me someone better

Someone who deserves praise and someone who is mature 

If I can have three wishes, they would sure be:
To release me from his ribcage,
To help me be more emotionally stable,
And to boost my self-esteem?

Raped by this sensation of disbelief and lament
I am shocked that I was in captivity my whole life
Been saying that I love you lately for multiple reasons, but I will take it easy this fine, splendid day that I simply adore! ! !
Chilled to the bone; basking in shivering shame and abolishing avarice
Acknowledging what I've done in the past and learning to let it go somehow...I'll look up to God and He will gladly heal me from my injuries and be my compass 24/7 - you're my heaven
Growing fast & still learning to live with this heartache in mind
Empty as a drum - you're not filling in my gaps 
 
What would your three wishes be?
Follow your dreams and be free!


Details | Free verse | |

Adflicto

I just want to curl up and away
Forever lost in the land of dreams.
Where is that happy land of sunshine?

Lost in a perpetual storm; am I
The storm or is it around me?

The dark Beast forever stalking my
Light, my life of laughter, smiling.

I thought I was safe but then
The grief tore my soul apart
Once again, I was broken, ruined.

The circles, the fears and desires
All mockery of me, the joke.

Escape but not for me, chained to 
Walls of the pit I’ve fallen into.

Too much of everything yet not
Enough and the paradox is heartless.

Raving mad and angry at the world,
At life so cruel and beautifully still.

A hope, a whisper so frail like frost
In the shining light of angry morning.

What am I, anyway, except thoughts
And a bundle of torn up skin?

Tired and wracked with thoughts so dark,
Peace must be found or I shall

Break. 


Details | Free verse | |

Stand Still

You always said you would be my crying shoulder, but you can't be this tme. It's you that has caused these tears. It isn't your fault. I can't be what you need, but I tried so very hard. I know I can't change your mind now. I have been here though three before, so why should one more be much different. I know you love poetry, and I love you so this is dedicated to you. Maybe one day you will realize that the truth has been in front of you the whole time. You will finally mend the heart of the one who mended your's so many times before. Just to ease your mind, don't worry about me I will be "fine." There isn't anything that can change how things are or how I feel so I guess now we are at a stand still.


Details | Free verse | |

For Max

I cried all night when I 

heard you were gone
 
my tears fell 

for you
 
for me 

and for all those
 
touched and taken by 

this terrible disease that
 
you and I had in common
 
Why it takes some of us 

and leaves others
 
God only knows
 
But what I do know is
 
You fought hard
 
And you always had a wave,
 
a smile, and a bit of 

conversation for me
 
Even when you were feeling tired
 
And probably scared
 
Although you never showed it
 
And I will always glance your way
 
And expect to see you sitting on
 
Your back porch 

like you always did
 
And my heart will break a little bit
 
When I realize I won’t see you 

waving and smiling back at me 

Ever again
 
I wish you peace
 
I wish you freedom from your struggles
 
But most of all 

I thank you 

For your kindness and your
 
Inspiration
 
May God bless you and keep you, Mr. Max
 
I miss you already


Details | Free verse | |

Morbid Luck

Bad luck could hit hard…
It’s difficult to catch a flash of glory… 
Unfortunately, we end up with the wrong side of the coin 
It’s tricky to snatch eternal glee…

I wish I could increase your motivation and prove your significance 
But I have none that I own – you made a big impact on me believe it or not
I want to grant you success…or I’ll let God work His magic
I have the passion to accomplish my jubilant goals – I just got to be energized…
Be strengthened and have self-reliance  
I prey upon confidence… 
I pray for your dreams to fall into place… 
I have no choice, but to find my way out of this labyrinth… 
OUT OF THIS MESS…
Suffocating me in harsh distress…
Dissatisfaction could shatter your hope

We are fading… we’re fragments
Escalating ferociously…  

It’s almost impossible to remain at ease during these hard times…
Fortunately, we have a chance to be on the right side of the coin

The most difficult part of living is… 
Dealing with the outrageous crimes  

Bad luck 
Is totally a morbid result in life’s situations…
I believe that you could endure
The catastrophe that burnt up your 
Last drop of courage…

What a tragedy you turned out to be… 
Your morbid luck drained out your bliss
And inflated you with squalid misery…
Your morbid luck dragged you 
Into the abyss……… 


Details | Free verse | |

Clawing, Scratching, Screaming

Clawing, scratching, screaming
A heart's endless scheming
Can you hear me? No!
Can you feel me? No more!
Do you see the pain drip from my eyes to the floor?
Remember my taste?
Oh what a waste.
I can't un-remember anymore.
Look to my hands, see their desire;
Choking out words to quell their fire.
Nails dig in and drag
Breaking a cracker's crack!
You never looked in only looked back.
Jump, dance, run, fall
I will some lifetime from now
Smash this wall.
Never again but that's not true.
I'll live this, the longest death
Every time I think of you.


Details | Free verse | |

I Still Love You

I still love you
Buried six foot under
Life no more
Risking my heart
Everything, I have ever known!
Letting you go
Eighteen years of panache and tears
‘Loyalty’ because 

‘I Still Love You’

At a cross roads
Changes of initiation
Giving in, risking all
Trading this pain in
Making my heart whole
Know by saying goodbye
And, letting you go
Know, for an eternity

‘I Still Love You’


Details | Free verse | |

Golden Mask

Am I the one That stands in the way?
The mind that drips
like ice in the heat.
Fully formed, but incapable to think.
Amongst the crowd, my voice is loud.
In the dark, do I have the heart?
What's plain to them, ain't so much for me
so a noble steed carried me off to his dream.
I have lived there a thousands years
Off the flesh of the one who brought me here.
Now I lay in his past wearing the golden mask.


Details | Free verse | |

My Secret

There are things you don't know,
Things that I don't tell you.
You only know what I've told,
Only what I've shown.

You can't see it,
The many things I hide.
You don't know it,
You think you know everything.

The me you see,
She's only a fake.
You don't see the real me,
I don't allow you to.

I don't want you to see her,
The me I hide inside.
She is wounded and broken,
Tortured, hurt and crying.

You have no clue,
You never will.
You don't know the real me,
You'll only know the fake.


Details | Free verse | |

Shana and Shano Part II

I turned away and faced the crashing white rapids. My evergreen hunting dress whipped in the wind with my copper hair. I took a deep breath and jumped. I felt the spray before the crushing force of the furious river of Ashtira . I knew. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The crashing Ashtira swallowed Clarisa up like a famished Lunadford scourges a helpless fox before a feast. I don’t know how long I stood there before the Seeker placed his firm hand gently on my shoulder. I looked up to see his concern. “Where is Clarisa Shana? The Chinook whispered that she was with you and in some marvellous peril,” he spoke with care. Despite the fact that I was Shano, I still had a keen friendship with the Seeker. It was perfectly normal to break down. He wrapped his solid arms around me in a protective way that he always did whenever I needed someone, for big matters or small. “Come now young Shano. Dry those tears. Clarisa Shana did what she had to in order to save Lishon. She knew this day would come.” His wisdom did nothing to salve my hurt but I knew that he spoke the truth. It was only because of this that I quieted. “Come. The time to grieve is not now. The Kwana are gathering and they need you to be on the ready for battle. We need you now more than ever. “Aye Seeker. You say the time to grieve is later but now is the best time. I will use my grief to vanquish the Noli and spread their ashes in the Ashtira. “Still your blade Shano. To use grief for your sister as a tool in war is to shame her. It will be a murders victory, not a warrior. I felt shame for what I had said. To wield the power of Shano is to be merciful. I should have known. The Seeker put his hand on my head and tousled my hair. I was his Shano but he was like my father in many ways. “Come.” A legion of Noli faced the entrance of Lishon, while the Kwana (who were half the enemy) sat in the courtyard. Waiting. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* I was tossed as far as the River of Ashtira could throw me. My breath left me as I landed with a brash blow. My breath came back in spurts. My heart stumbled with my constant effort to start my breathing. Why couldn’t I get air? As if she had always been there the Spoken appeared beside me. She placed her webbed hand on my chest. Air.


Details | Free verse | |

A Memorial

For hills and ideals we died,g
And how many dreams went buried with us
No one shall ever know.

For mounds of ideals
Created by men who sit behind polished wood desks
We strangers met in unnamed places
Where we slew one another in red waves of senseless fury
To satisfy their contentions; to pledge new allegiance to Death's infinite kingdom.

Death is mighty though gentle king, reigning as he does in silence and distance
This ruler of the numberless multitude
Ever swelling beneath the Earth's soft skin.
The great and the small, the strong and the weak,
Now sleep together, brothers in the land of long shadows.

At rest beneath a mantle of cool starless black
We await the coming of the others.
We know they will come, dying for hills and ideals
Because strong faceless men say they must.

Here they will find us secure in our true equality,
Our king allowing for no division, dreams or loyalties -
No contention, only peace, perfect peace
The peace of the brotherhood that drifts in the blankness,
The faultless peace of the quiet subjects of death.


Details | Free verse | |

CHEERS TO MY END


Cheers to my end


Spare me my fears
They lay too many
Spare me my lust
I care to ease them

Tear down my woes
They lay me down painlessly
Tear off my doubt
They pierce me painlessly

Gear me up for my fate
I seek less the rate
They make me in the air, my mate
Boundless without gate

The Bare me you see;
 The dear me she loves
No fear to hide
What the world crave to see

I shall wear courage
To wear off my fears
My life is not for rent
Now my cloak of shame I rent


THE INVINCIBLE PEN


Details | Free verse | |

Gone

If you feel your heart 
Is beating but it is not,
If only you could still
Hear your heartbeat.

I wish to feel the breeze 
One last time
But it seems that 
I cannot feel it anymore.

I feel like I am lost
I guessed nobody will find me
Trapped in darkness like this
I think I am in the abyss.

If I touched someone
It would go right through,
If I looked into the mirror
My reflection is not there.

I realise that I am gone
I am heartless
But I could still hear 
Those sorrows trapped inside.

No more feelings,
No more pain,
No more life,
Nothing will be the same.

If you feel your heart 
Is beating but it is not,
If only you could still
Hear your heartbeat.


Details | Free verse | |

Torn Apart By Your Absence

I can’t believe my eyes
I have witnessed your demise
Like the day bowing down to the night
What a sight…what a pleasant sight

Torn apart by your absence
I wander through the maze of my own enigmatic mind
I faced the truth; I don’t believe it! It’s nonsense! 
I drift away, only to find…only to find…
That this fear bottled up inside needs to be released
Shut your eyes – don’t even peek!
Shut your mouth – don’t even speak!
My soul has strayed too far 
I wander through the maze of your outlandish mind
The truth is…hidden beneath the surface
It’s somewhere safe…not devoted to the abyss
Shattered by your hopelessness
Weeping ‘cause of your demise…hearing insidious lies
Your demise…not something I prize

I can feel my heart beat fast
I have caught you sleeping silently forever
Deliver me from this pain of looking back in the past
Sorrow bites me with its injurious venom…everything’s a blur

Torn apart by your absence
I wonder what went through your mind! 
I faced the truth; I don’t believe it! It’s nonsense! 
I drift away, only to find…only to find…
That this fear bottled up inside needs to be released
Shut your eyes – don’t even peek!
Shut your mouth – don’t even speak!
My soul has strayed too far 
I wander through the maze of your outlandish mind
The truth is…hidden beneath the surface
It’s somewhere safe…not devoted to the abyss
Shattered by your hopelessness
Weeping ‘cause of your demise…hearing sinister lies
Your demise…not something I prize

I CAN’T LIVE THIS LIFE IN DESOLATION
This is not the way I should have turned out to be
I can’t look behind me…I must keep my head up high 
I look in front of me…I shall not disappoint me 
Heal this wound that scarred me with fear


Details | Free verse | |

Lost Hope for a Broken Soul

When I think about things that are gone and passed
I mourn for the things that did not last
I feel the hurt and tears that fell
I cannot get free, trapped in this Hell
The fires of memories lick at my flesh
Burning up tears that I thought would always last
Coal black eyes, you can see my soul
I gave up everything, everything for a mole
But such rich eyes…
They beckoned me in, promising me everything
Using all of my sin
My heart still aches
My soul still bleeds
To hear that voice
So honey sweet
And yet I let you hold the knife
Feel you twist it in my back, and I never seem to fight
The blood starts to rip, taking with it some hope
That one day I will stop this nonsense
And take that one last fatal blow
But no, not to him
I want him to stay in perfection, I never can harm him
The knife is for me, to mortify my own flesh
Let the blood pour, like my tears once did
Maybe then he will understand
I regret the mistakes made
But no matter what, I would always belong to him 


Details | Free verse | |

Il Fiore Della Bruma P4

Mr. Visage of the manor, was often regarded in the highest esteem.
He lived in direct centre of the valley
Lauded his walls with fine antiques and trinkets;
Gold plated vases of crushed ice
Refilled by the hour.
Ebony perfumes
Travelling in thick cloud, like a rich fog of delight
Or marvel atleast.
His walls were only thin bamboo,
And he visited the villagers regularly.
Ofcourse, they privately grumbled of his accommodation
And obsessive nature to present, even perform at times.
Yet he was quite the life amongst them
They would none but laugh and smile in his presence.
Only laugh and smile.

Mr. Visage was a tapestry of pride
A great man in many respects.
Maybe he enjoyed his success too much,
But in person still,
He was a good man amongst the valley.

“This Family is a secret dysfunction;
Alone in all but volume.
Pray for the beauty of the elegant bird.
These wonders I have homed
From a tropic desolation,
Here to see and be seen
In the total view of the prominent.
Perfection of Asia, Africa, bizarre and prize
Drawn together by infinite work:
Pray for the beauty of the elegant bird.

Uneclipsed, I dive
Capsuling grace in a midnight charm
With a stare so ready to flicker
And dissolve the empty rooms.
What will happen to my attraction
Once I depart?”

 The Mr. Visage wept
For the bird that flew
And Mr. Visage would never depart. 


If there's anyone that's actually been reading all these parts, this one is by far the most obscure, probably looks pretty poor without it making sense but it does, particularly when in comparison with part 2 and 3


Details | Free verse | |

A way to go after all

You left me heart broken
I could not utter any words
My mouth was open
But no words seems to get out of my mouth

In such an instant, you left me
No turning back but I had to accept
With so much I wanted to say to you
You left me unforgettable, footprints in my heart

In the heavens you are safe now
But I will remember all the special times we spent together
For you are gone 
But not in my heart.



Details | Free verse | |

FACES OF FAILURES

never wanting;
ever regreting,
don't forget,
I'm doing it all on own two feet.
doubts so hollow,
not redeeming atonement.
so unsure,
with the risks of conscequences.
pressures of failures;
teeming with unwanted unknown neglect,
brooding the cost,
impartial to the reactions,
not heeding the learned lessons.
too much to consider own my own terms:
foundation no too firm,
living untill the broken end,
contemplating for the unknown answers.


Details | Free verse | |

Woe In Our Lives

Whatever you do, don't let go...
He's going to arrive soon – don't be overwhelmed
Whatever you do, don't look back
Woe is embracing our lives
Don't let yourself turn to black
Keep on track... 

Woe is dwelling in our lives...
Lurking in every corner
They sprout from the ground like jagged knives
Wait until the dark tides
Pass through us...God's still protecting our lives
Whatever you do, don't doubt Him!!

Don't be a forlorner - 
Be a conquerer!


Details | Free verse | |

CONQUERING THE FEAR OF DEATH

Too weak to utter words,
and unable rise her sunken eyes,
this is what my aunt Lucy told mom
on her deathbed when sunlight
struggled to enter the dark room,
" Endure grief with faith...
think of the glory you'll see!"
" God will welcome you to Heaven...
your struggle will end by night!"


Silently she resigned to her fate,
and turning her moribund head she nodded,
accepting the final agony coming upon her...
and everybody's tears had to be released,
to show her the affection and the love nurtured
by obedience, kindness and sincerity.


To watch her die, made us aware of our own vulnerability,
which will face on our darkest day with or without comfort...
blessed are the ones being consoled by prayers,
making their grief bearable until their breath stops;
blessed was mother to have seen angels rapture her...
when her heartbeat could no longer be heard!    
 

Her spirit rose up as they carried it with caution
to the blissful place of angels, martyrs and saints...
because she lived a Christian life of truth and sacrifice;
and mom will certainly remember how we squeezed her hand,
comforting her without showing the intensity of sorrowful emotions
as we whispered, " Mother, you have loved us dearly...so have we!" 


Details | Free verse | |

Cutting

	The pain is too much,
I can’t take it anymore,
It makes me want to fall,
Straight through the floor.
	I’ve held it inside me,
For far too long,
I’m tired of being told,
That everything I do is wrong.
	The first time was an accident,
But I’ll do it again,
Even though I know,
Cutting is a sin.
	I hold the blade in my hand,
Swipe it across my skin,
I see the blood come pouring out,
I think I found a new friend.
	You may not believe me,
But I don’t feel the pain,
Even though the blood,
Pours like the rain.
	When I see the blood,
Coming from the cut,
I feel the pain leaving,
For my eyes are now shut.
	I finally found something,
I can control,
I know when to stop,
I control the flow.
	When the blood leaves me,
Other things do as well,
The pain and heartache,
There’s no more to tell.


Details | Free verse | |

Fleeing Realms

 FLEEING REALMS
Bluebells tumbling along the floor
Dimly lit bursting divinity
Nights without a moon
Glass eye of the blind sky
Nestled upon the hope of vintage wind
The cancers cry and widows sigh
There is no rest in your eyes
Cradles your keynote flame
Sounding the words you long to say
Round in your mouth the theme
The wind sweeping the streets
You must be the pointing star
In this cloudy downtown pride
Blessed journal in bare feet
Placid pouring your remarks
Wings to speed discovery
Unleash my limits to acclaim
Epic merging lives enrage
Covert tribute to insist
I rise from ocean floor
Smoke rising from the pages
Shadows climb the crawling walls
The trickled bleeding insists I wish
For principles pleading
Fleeing realms of mutiny
My heart racing you home
Too much of myself to memorize
To explore my beached demands
And waste my screams on vices
While tribes proceed without me
Stunt my lies by proxy on deserted heart I share
Ripe with ribbons of only someone


Details | Free verse | |

Crave

picking apart what was left 
to be divine is another story 
to err you may. some say  it's human domain 
cutting in to the face of the controlled many 
timeless effort may go unnoticed at will.
rendering them powerless, fearless.
no matter what a duty must take place, to render, to cut, to cut out, to crave. 
to pick apart what was left.

Copyright © Christina Clark


Details | Free verse | |

Solitude

Skimming my lips, 
so tenderly-
you disappear in silence
a wakeful intensity of respect.
The wishes of my heart.
I find you are leaving me now.
A shadow of senses-
sight surrounding inner wealth
calling out for more.
Riding high- you have such grace.
Tears brim the surface
as I long to be the object of your desire,
once again.


Details | Free verse | |

The Dolls Choice

A fragile doll sits with her back to the glass
slowly sinking in sand that fights through the funnel
one grain at a time it replaces threads from the spindle
an agonizing process with no option to deny


Details | Free verse | |

TREASURES OF MY SOUL

The days I’ve claimed.
The lives I’ve seen.
Withered before my very eyes.
Who will I write short notes to?
Who then will reply to them?
Each new day brings hope. 
But what then is hope?
Hope without a promising tomorrow.
A tomorrow of seeing your smiles and your eyes.
The light weighted air around you.
Diluted in Love and in Passion.
But now you watch silently…
Dear, 
From the heavens send me a kiss in the winds.
Through this I shall find my way to you.
Of course when I leave this body of mine.
Read this letters of my thoughts in the winds.
Rest well my Queen.


Details | Free verse | |

Where do the Flowers go in Winter Part Two

                            (continued from Where do the Flowers go in Winter  Part One)

We buried her today
                             In early March
Winter is almost over
The ground is hard
So was my heart
Everyone dressed in black
                           Black
                                  Why Black?
I wanted to wear
                         Well
                                                    Orange
                                                             Yes
                                                                 Orange
When I was eleven
I got a part in the school play
"Mom! Mom!  I'm going to be an Orange
Mom! an Orange!"
I got the part I'll need you to make my costume!"
                          "I don't have time
                              You're in my way
                                                       Go outside
You really don't want to be in the play
It's stupid
I don't want my son to play a fruit
                                                  a fruit
You want to be an Orange?  You're in the sixth grade
Big boys don't play oranges.  It's dumb
                                                         Your dumb
Tell Mrs. Wilson no.  Tell her no..."

They covered her up
I placed a white rose upon her grave
                 We went home.

No dinner
              I was hungry
But I could not bring myself to eat
For all others were in grief
I went into her room and sat in her chair
I listen through the walls,  words of sadness I hear
They told loving stories of this woman
How caring passionate kind she was
How she was an asset to the community
How well she raised her children
Three fine girls and a son

And a son
              How appropriate
Just
              And a son, not a fine son
How could he be a fine son?
She's been dead for four days
And not one drop of water has left his two eyes
My father placed his hand on my shoulder
"Son I know how hard your taking this..."

"I never wanted children!
                                    Your Father did
He told me he would adopt
                                       Adopt!
Good God rest my soul
So I consented
Three girls, a boy, then you
My family was complete
Four children.  You had a brother
If he didn't die.  If he was alive
I wouldn't of had you


                                (continued on Where do the Flowers go in Winter Part Three)





                                                   


                                        


Details | Free verse | |

Altar-Gleam

Oh, Lord, it rends my soul to give
this wish--desire--full away,
Not clinging to a piece of hope;
A piece that says, "Perhaps someday..."

For now the thing--so frightening clear--
Is to release it dark and full
and keep no sliver-thought of me,
Though giving leaves a gaping hole.

Desire--oh, how sharp the spears
of joy that haunt this favorite dream.
But am I Yours enough to push
this treasure toward Your altar's gleam?

The thund'ring toss of straining mind.
The clashing knowledge: this is right.
The heart's own cry: "Oh please, not yet!"
The beckon of Your fire bright.

No looking back, no holding on,
I watch my treasure dance in flame.
And then I feel inside my soul
The power of your tender Name.

I've given what was dearest mine
But just before the wound bleeds free
You staunch the flow and catch my heart
And with Your Lover's arms hold me.

What looks as ash is only just
the dust from which Your plans arise
And though I feel the burning here
I know the mercy in Your eyes.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost modesty

Character is not a question today,
Had it but now Pardon me for so,
Rationality have perished,
No it diminished in me may be, today

You pious, extra-terrestrial,
Leave or wear the shackles of false modesty, 
Beware they are expensive n delicate.
To suspect a head, for something brainy,
So unethical pardon me for it.
 
Pinch me please to shatter this terrible dream, 
Cause I’m in crowd of madness.
Have no cure, in a book or IN A hand of affection,
Their my insecurities prevail, I introspect,
Beauty of ‘twenty-first’ wants to blind me.

There is noticeable nothing but one,
As you age, rigid adherence prevails,
Not for one, but for the things,
For time, for love, and happiness.
For family, for affection.

Hardly passed a day without, 
In today’s contracting life, 
What a glorified past it was,
A dead memory fumbles in my head,
Pinching discontent in me.

Wake up and loosen your fingers,
This tight grip of memories let them go,
Before they bore you dead,
Turn you into nothingness just as they are,
Pose for now, today and smile.

Don’t suppress inner voice!
Breathless heart, Beat, accept the moment 
With a new beginning, and so beat,
End these discontented sighs, which
Remind you of those memories,

Your starvation have no cure, but 
Shake your head and think and find,
Simply greeting death, is not sound,
Have a long way to go yet,
Breathe and make your lips like a half moon.

Go with such gait and don’t let the grief,
Defeat you, but swallow it,
No matter how bitter life’s pill is,
Live, live hard, only option to go for,
Or gleam your eyes with the dream, …For you!
In which eternal peace awaits after final scream!


Details | Free verse | |

How to Write a Poem about Grief

Love and admire someone
Deeply,
Build a castle with him
Brick by brick,
Paint the walls with frescoes,
Draw dreams.

Hold him
When the illness comes,
Cook him chicken broth,
Kiss his sweaty forehead,
Suction his wounds,
Puff his pillows.

Drive him to the hospital,
Listen to the whirs in the room,
Check the lines on the monitors,
Introduce yourself to every nurse
Shift after shift,
Bargain with God.

Sign “Do not resuscitate,”
Watch his chest heave,
Leave the room 
When they pull out the tubes,
Come back,
Sense his heart beat

Stop.
Lay your head on his shoulder,
Memorize him,
Lie to the nurse
That you are ready
To say goodbye.

Brush your fingers across his cheek,
Press his bruised lips,
Twist your neck as you
Walk away,
Touch the cold doorjamb,
Write what you feel.

@Tess Harvester 2013


Details | Free verse | |

The cheating sin

She comes home to a silent room
Waiting for the greeting that she yearned to hear each day
Instead the noise that met her ear
Was of the most surprise to her
It was moaning and a groaning
And something she has never heard
She walked around to see what it was
In her mind she already knew
There he was and there she was
staring in each others eyes
Caught in the mist of the action
That just ruined both of their lives
She ran out so fast but didn't know where to go 
But her mind was way ahead
She put the car in reverse and skidded down the street
Before he ever could reach the door
She never talked to him again
But her heart wanted to each day
He cheated and she couldn't believe it
That was the end of their days
Years went by and she is trying to forget
But the pain keeps seeping back in
So uncontrollable, so unfathomable
She just wanted to the pain to end
Slowly and surely she drank away every hurt in her body
Till the night she drove herself off that cliff
Into the water that remained below
She did it  because her heart couldn't be mended 
Nor fixed of all the pain
He will never get to see her face
But will always remember her pain


Details | Free verse | |

REGRETS AND RESENTMENT

as time passes by;
like word born on the streets,
you never knew hard,
till it hits you deep within.
even if there is pain without the tears,
it doesn't mean it's any less of a struggle to forget.
hard aches on heartaches,
resentment is hard to leave by when the regret is there.
sublime tears that echoes and tears you up inside,
meanwhile, I try not to stray from my true nature!!!
vibration of a cry that is not too well played out;
pound per pound,
restless beatings of my chest,
leaves a residue of unsound sorrow that marks the epitamy of being alone,
which is never too easy.
like a melody that is deaf with tone,
cheating destiny has no future in it.
I am forever standing still in the sands of time,
like time has made me a mark of inequities.
no right direction to go from where I'm left off;
but just to look for the easiest way out!
still doesn't justify the reason of my situation.
out of the mourning dew:
I try to stay awake........
still, I miss missing the way we are!!!


Details | Free verse | |

TRIALS OF STRUGGLES

trial of my pains that hurts,
leaving me only to comply with no disclosure.
never ending unwanted choices of solutions;
better not having one at all,
sometimes to much to behold.
crisis of unwanted tears,
left for nobody to witness.
too personal to ask for help on you own,
like your pride is ruling over you.
trying not to always frown,
limited by the resources you got.
not to mention;
limited knowledge,
that has bigger than life fantasies of illusions,
with even more limited intelligence,
cramped with unwanted mirage of self' righteous imagination.


Details | Free verse | |

A Walk Through Ruins

How can I define to you in a rhyme 
My pain, melodically, nurtured by time 

How can I make anyone feel what I feel 
When all I know are lies, how can I make this real 

Let me bring you down with me 
As we walk through the fires, tell me what you see
 
Give me 18 years to destroy your worth 
I’ll be in your brain til you regret your birth

Let me throw you to the lions blindfolded 
Stand your ground, see how long you can hold it 

Let me sully all that surrounds you
You’ll thank God for the worst you've been through

Only when your life hinges on hiding like I hid 
Will you be capable of knowing pain like I did


Details | Free verse | |

Life

This is the second poem I have ever written, I was nine or ten.


The love caused me pain
I’m no longer able to breathe
My bleeding soul
My enclosed throat
My blood-shot eyes
My dying words
All seem to fade away
I love to sing
I loved to laugh
I loved to love
Now they are no more
I have no sang in three years
I do not think I even can…
I try to laugh….
But it turns into a broken sob
I tried to love
But I just wreaked pain
Over and over…and over again
Can a broken soul ever heal?
No, I do not think so
Can a hollow voice ever have life?
No, not that either
Can a dead love be born again?
No
Life ends like it begins
We start out crying and frightened
We die crying and frightened
Life is a cruel joke
We all die at the end
Why be immortal?
Only those whom hate life get to forever live it
Fighting the whole time, crying
Crying for death
Because death is when memory is gone
We come back crying
There is a threat that in the end will win
No circles will save us
No praying will help
This threat has no compassion
Has no soul
Will kill many
And birth more
It has no mercy
Harbors no soul
It is here for one thing
And one thing alone
To kill us all
This great threat goes by one name
Life
The thing that few know is not a friend, a blessing
But is a threat, an enemy
This is one fight not many can win
Most will die
But a few can cheat death
Maybe even life
But that is up to you….
My choice? 
I will cheat death and survive life…



Details | Free verse | |

Human Error

Our flaws include that "Love is to die for",
And the promise of death wills us to live with much galore,
with the common era pursuing common errors,
we chase the hypocrisy of love, life and death more.

Our faults include to be kind, only to the kind,
and betray benevolence to the profane,
like feeding nothing to poverty,
and nourishing the wealthy with more money.

Liberty, peace, truth and justice,
bind into the book of the rule of law.
Upon they swore to destroy buildings that casts shadows
with crossed fingers, then they cast shadows of their own.

Sought since the start of time is perfection,
changing human defects with gradual intervention
with the loose bolts and screws of reasoning,
probing the heart's abstruse cords and circuits.

Trying to remedy the faults,
hiding the dents of human judgement,
draining the wires off of creativity,
Born from human error is the robotics of the contemporary.


Details | Free verse | |

Caged Agony

She was caged in his mystery.
Just a glimpse into his soul;
And she saw the anger flow freely.

A father’s blood tainted
And with it came sorrow;
And with it came unspeakable torment.

There was not a person,
That felt the pain,
Its symptoms were distinctively his. 

Whispers like the wind urged him to be happy;
As though condolences could take away the grief;
Each face was featureless, each apology was a fake.

She found him alone and broken.
Within him she saw helplessness;
It was masqueraded by a need to remain strong.

On his shoulders was the World,
The weight of which was becoming too much,
Knees bent from the pressure.

He looked at her and their bereavement was matched;
Both cold from the tears,
Both were searching for their escaped faith.

A child was taken at her word,
Lost amongst the other realms;
She had felt empty.
 
Her sobs at night were heard by none,
Ridiculed by her traumatizing decision-
He saw her standing outcast.  

Their inward screams had echoed outward;
Only they could hear each other’s cries.
Drawn together in unity, a relationship formed. 

They were never perfect for each other,
But their voids were filled. 
They were very much alike, and yet so different.

They treated one another with disrespect.
It turned their love into rage;
This was followed by resentment.

Hands unclasped as their families pulled them apart,
Tears rolled from her eyes and his desperate struggle ensued;
He vowed to someday get her back.

He found himself anguished once more, as did she. 
For who would hold her now?
How would he fall asleep?

They would move on as all lost lovers do,
But no other love could be the same.
No lesson as great as the one that they had experienced; together. 



Details | Free verse | |

Vacancy

I looked for you today
In the places you used to stay
Doing the things you used to do
Seeing the sights you used to see
Being the person you used to be
But all I found
Was a vacancy
That should have been filled with you

Who could ever take up that space?
Which mortal could ever replace
You?
If it can’t be your face I see
Leave it be
Keep it empty.


Details | Free verse | |

Fracta Anima

Maybe instead of life
Maybe I’m the joke.
Maybe I stopped mattering,
So why does this matter?

The shattered pain in my eyes,
Mirrors that reflect only you.
Do you see the cracked smile;
Your laughter is a dagger to my soul.

The frustration is a merry-go-round;
I might fall off and die.
The pain is rotten, a corpse
Twisted all around my heart.

Tears are uncountable, endless
Crying at night but still more.
Oh, the despair in my soul!
I long only for joy, please,
Is that just too much to ask?

Those beautiful dreams are ruined,
Why on earth were they given?
Was it all my fault or maybe
No one’s fault, just life,
The joke that is me.

The cuts will scar, as always
Yet can’t you see them,
Or maybe you refuse to.
The outside cuts are nothing
Compared to my heart, ruined,
Destroyed by far too many hopes.

My trust, shattered like glass
And lying in the wasteland,
My bitter tears are the oasis.

Tired, yet no sleep is found here,
So many questions in my mind,
My heart can’t ask you again.

I’m sorry, oh the mistakes made,
And there will be so many more.

I am hollow, a container of sorrow,
Of lifeless, wingless dreams, so frail.
The hot fire mixes with it,
The anger that is me and my mind,
Questioning, screaming and so unhappy.

Delusions are my safe, happy place;
I only wanted love.


Details | Free verse | |

ENIGMA

Everyone said she was beautiful
But no one said she was smart
And everyone took a piece of her
'Til there was nothing left to part


Details | Free verse | |

Watch me Flee

Fires burning bright
Screams shatter the night
Could not put up enough fight
So your loved ones died
Hidden from your sight
Flames flicker
With memories oh so bitter
I see your eyes
Looking so sweet
At that my heart skips a beat
Stopping softly I gives up
Wish I had your hand in mine
Give me strength to fight
Maybe then I would not have died 
On that dark, quiet night
Shatter my soul
Watch me flee
Cannot take another breath
Before a scream escapes my lips
Chocking desperately
On this life
Your smile is why I even fight
So much control
You have over me
On my fears
You seem to feed
See my tears
Hear me whisper
I will wait
For you forever
Dying words
On my lips
‘I loved you from that very first kiss’



Details | Free verse | |

H e a r t B r a k e

You could always make me smile
Never thought you'd make me frown
Can't believe you did me this way
Can't believe you let me down
Even thought your not here to see it I'm crying even now


I miss you so much but you never come around
I thought it was love I had found
If only I knew what I know now
I could have saved myself from a world of pain that  surrounds me and hurts worst everyday 


What a shame it is to lose someone like me who could have loved you for eternity
I feel sorry for thee because you are to blind to see it
So go ahead and forget about me
You cast  our love into the sea and killed my dreams and fantasies
So hear me now or hear me not but all we had has been forgot~


Details | Free verse | |

Bygone Days

The sick sadistic people that torture the kid
Thinking of thoughts to fascinating in sin
Hiding behind a stature of loneliness he hates
A time warp in his chest it elates
Swaying through time with no cause or mentality
He don't want to feel like a congenital abnormality
Piercing his mind with no anesthesia
Mind caught in the lake of amnesia
Grasping towards another minoral fate
Sometimes in this bygone world its too late
Suffering a wraith in his vivacious serenity
So sad and unaware with no amenity
This boy has suffered for a time of days
Like most diverse and beseeching in many ways
But tampered with is his lamp of time
Puppet strings in his head now a mime 
The prescription of happiness is a lie
Bury the darkness as a maggot one day be a fly
This is the torture of a teen so young
Now no speech they take your tongue
Its over
Its over
Slit it in his own health
Slayed down for his enlightened death....


Details | Free verse | |

Bundled Up in Bondage

My poverty-decaying teeth start to chatter 
From the cool blows of your breathing
Bundled up in bondage, 
I’m unable to see the light in farewell 
Things have gotten too far between us…I can still hear the hallow drums,
Beating with doubt, apprehension and disdain 
It’s echoing falsehoods and it’s doing us no good
It’s doing us no good…putting us in a rotten mood 
Somehow, we have something in common – 
We both have shame that overflows in us…
It’s been there all along…
From the beginning of time, I’ve been 
All alone, all along!
All alone, all along!
Do sing a joyous song
So, that I’ll feel like I belong
It’s a shame that we must part soon
But, cheer up, dearest – go get some rest and sing a positive song
While I’ll be shining like your midnight moon
 
~~Chorus~~

Give me a chance to overcome 
These waves of emotions
Understand my situation 
Don’t pay attention to the commotion 
I see you in secret, 
Skipping with pride and unspoiled vitality 
While I’m… frozen forever 
Livin’ this life guilt-free is impossible in my case…
Save me from the contemplations,  
Releasing insidious lies

~~~~~~~

Your screams fail to reach my ears
You won’t hear me cry aloud
These tears were bottled up inside for years
I just wanna scream out loud! 

Turn the wheel in my mind’s eye  
I’m overflowing with guilt and horror 
Don’t let the tide of terror sweep over me with woe
Open wide your mouth 
Let me fill it in with words of pure, inviting insight, 
Not dread-infested remorse 

~~~~~~~

It’s strange really – 
I had the same guilt as you, 
But that was a long time ago…
I can barely remember 
When I befriended that stranger
I didn’t even know it would cause 
All kinds of mischief and danger…
That angered me to the core
Yet, it told me there was still some hope in store


Details | Free verse | |

Dark and Mystical

Beyond midnight her tears distil,
burnishing the valley between
her height of hope and depth of pain;
till dusky waves awash her dawn.
From whence comes these soldiers? 
pure grapes trodden under the feet of fate...
before her eyes the moon did melt,
and cloudy wind gave rise to warmth.
The whirlwind blew away her bole,
her fountain flows still for her child,
the looming death defaced all her calm hours
and spoiled the night, hotly, in haste. 
Would God that she had immunized
her baby before the whirlwind roared.

The stars are speechless tonight,
the voice of the night lost its luster
the tears of her grief splashes like raindrops,
on the huts of ages long gone...without rooftops.
The spirits came knocking at the door;
the walls are broken, the keys are safe.
Her child like autumn leaves fell from its bole;
and swept away by the cold hands of candle-light.
O the beauty of vanity, the glory of mortality!
strength and faith fail the strong and mighty...
twilight trails the terrain of the tough and tender,
leaving the mark of pleasure, pain and passion;
unspoken, unheard yet seen in the sands of times.


Details | Free verse | |

Soulful Cries

I scream, at the top of my lungs
No sound, comes out
Silent, curdling screams
Is, all I have left, now
I wrestle; I fight, with all, my physical might
While, being forced down 
By the mighty strength, of many men
The pungent smells of dirt, sweat and grime
Embed, in my senses
Their ghastly hot breathes; making me, want to puke!
Their hands, all over me
Constantly grabbing and groping me
Hollering and cheering each other on
Then, someone punches me
Someone, I cannot see
A large man’s hand, covers my nose and mouth
Muffling my soulful cries, terrifying, my insides!

I can’t breathe, now!

Many heavy handed blows, follow
In a blurry haze
I watch, my scarlet red blood splatter
Upon the snow white sheets, that surround
My sacred blood spilled
My salty tears mixed in with sticky men’s semen
My body, a raging torrent of scorching hot lava
Lulling into a translucent, entranced state
Surrendering, to the primal, animalistic frenzy
The men, taking what they want, anyway they want it
Devouring every morsel left ,of my weak and weary body
My body fighting, for its God given right
To live, now!
My life flashes before my eyes
The sounds around me begin to fade
My eyes glaze over, my body goes limp
My body betraying me, when I need her the most!
Silently, I pray for this is not my will, but their own
“Have mercy upon these souls” 
“Please forgive these men, as I do, now
“My love remains with you, heavenly Father”
Blackened tears of jet black mascara
Weave their way down
Through the bloody crevasses, of my black & blued skin
My body used up, a lifeless vessel, totally numb!
My innocence and dignity stripped!
No one, can save me, the worst is done!
Bashed, beaten, worn
I am nothing, no more...


Details | Free verse | |

Please don't think me selfish

I am a little restless with the sound of a child screaming
It's hard to keep breathing
I try to shut my ears to it
That tiny thing screaching
Walk away real fast
To stop the intensified feelings
Of that baby wailing

It's easier to stay away
All alone in my home
When it's her first birthday 
I'd rather stay at home

I could never hold your daughter
With those tiny little hands
Watch her pursed rose bud lips
These things I couldn't stand
The smell of warm milky breath
The suckling noise they make
This tiny person all brand new
These things I couldn't take
I could never change a nappy
Or pat her back to burp
With her little eyes all glazed
It just wouldn't work

Please don't think me selfish
As you can never see
Or feel the hurt of the childless 
Your never feel as me
My insides are empty 
From hope throughout the years
That never amounted to nothing
I spend some days in tears
That inside I'm broken
My heart it cracked in two
For the wanting of a baby maybe even two

When she grows up and gets married
Has a baby of her own
Then your be a granny
But I'll still be alone


Details | Free verse | |

Sewing Love

How to
Capture
Between pages
Or pixels
Or caught between
Stitches 
Do memories catch
Between the threads?
Does love
Linger in the ink?
One can pray
In the silence
Where laughter once rang
Find the steady beat
Of a sewing machine
Where your heart used to beat
Trying to sew
Myself back together
If I just keep
Sewing
From the heart
I can bind
My heart up
Fit pieces together
Here is where it tore
When Elisif’s laugh was lost
Here when Phil’s light went out
And here, this big one
When my grandfather died
These old stitches are fraying
Starting to come undone
Here the slapdash job
From when Jackie put a gun to her head
Here from Steve being ripped away
So suddenly
This bit holds up well
For an eight year old’s
Handiwork
And here a spot needs darning
My heart is worn 
It needs
Many a repair
But I have little time
For the careful stitching
Of so many holes
Yet they wont 
Close
On their own
So I keep busy
With fabric patches


Details | Free verse | |

Haven't Forgotten You

Sipping in solitude inaudibly,
I feel left behind like an orphan child, 
Waiting for a stranger’s ride, 
I was left on the front steps of someone else’s house and I’m left to be
An introverted child, brokenhearted, but slightly has a wild side
It’s as silent as the grave 
I act as if nothing’s happening, 
But commotion is surrounding me 
As if I’m the ship, 
Caught in the middle of the wistful, reckless waters 
Train me to walk close behind you
I don’t want to feel…for you neither do I want to feel
This blasted bittersweet emotions, 
Making me weep with many tears of bleakness
Hopelessly, I walk the mercy road alone, 
Since no one’s willing to risk their lives for me..
What am I gonna do? Play the victim now? 
I’d rather travel on my own
I’d rather disown this feeling I feel – it’s so real, you see?
Do you hear me calling to you desperately?
I’m losing my direction – I need you, reliable emerald compass you!
 Who designed you so articulately? 
Who found an emerald stone this beautiful?
Who granted me luck tonight? Can it be?
Can it really be you? 
You haven’t forgotten me after all…
After all, I haven’t had a day without you racing through my mind
Now, you’re hidden gold – a fantastic, splendid find!
I thought I was blind…but your shine is making me blind!
I close my eyes in attempt to feel my way through darkness
I have found you…at the end of the tunnel…
I slip unto the sparkly pavement and we huddle 
Underneath the bridge and the traffic overhead
You kissed me with hope pressed on your lips, flawless as ever – 
I don’t feel dead with dread…I don’t feel like I’m…actually not losing my head!
When you leave my sight, the daylight dims
When you depart from the light, my heart feels unsettling whims
The river will keep on flowing as long as you position me next to glistening sunset
The atmosphere is changing and the wind is whistling its sad, sad tunes of regret
I’m a stranger to love, but it seemed like love met my eyes and I fell in love
Love at first sight is on another level of brilliance 
Do tell me: are you an angel from up above?
Are you a tranquil, heavenly dove? 
I don’t want to pretend that you’re here when I’m proven wrong…
Are you real or are you a fantasy? 
This is not the end, so let me lend you a helping hand 
The world will merrily share with us its happiness
A happiness that was unknown to me…
life’s an everlasting, admirable song
It’s well-written from the start 
Keep spinning with me like a merry-go-round
If you refuse to do so, I’ll be left all alone in the abstract abyss
I’ll be dancing with my lonely ghost of a mistress…
I’m seeking to be with you
I'm in want to be like you
For future progress and also because 
My heart has declared its love for you…
Didn’t you get the clue? 
Haven’t you known long ago? 
It’s a love, shimmering anew!
But, I gottah get a grip…
or we’ll never have the time of our lives forever,
You mend me like a wound on a soldier’s leg –
I’m unsure if you still love me, 
however, you encouraged me to endure…
You’re not a curse…if that will make you feel better, not worse!
Let me repeat that with a little more emphasis – you’re not at all a curse
You’re a dream come true, a gift, an oath, a bliss-healing cure!
There’s a way for us to escape our mighty fearsome fates
We’re on thin ice – do you mind if I hand you a pair of skates? 
Slipping and stumbling and falling on my bum, 
Happily blushing and brushing it aside for a time
I feel like you have chewed me up like distasteful gum
I know we had a good time tonight, 
but I want your night to be…well…sublime…
And let the time flip on like an ancient dime 
I haven’t forgotten you – I’ll pick you up from the grime of the past
It’s time to be partners in crime!
My passion towards you is so extremely vast 


Details | Free verse | |

Bitter Rind of Sorrow

A bitter rind of sorrow encapsulates my heart,
It insulates; 
It separates.

Insensitive the laughing throng 
Regurgitates their song,
Unknowing and uncaring,
Blindly shoving me along.

A bitter rind of sorrow encapsulates my heart.


Details | Free verse | |

Teeter Totter

From grief.....................closure grows; From pain......................experience grows. The shadows of the grotesque.............highlight the beauty; The shadows of loss ............................highlight the value. Blood is the fire of both destruction............ and creation, From the ashes of death..................new life will be born. Fear is irreconcilable, Don’t let it wreck the balance.
08/04/14


Details | Free verse | |

Remorse

Lifelong promise
where are they? 
now...
in the arms of 
the mighty time
or, somewhere else
I thought myself 
the luckiest
you proved me
the useless
now life has no
connection, with me
as, I too
don't want to survive
WAIT...
knowing the ultimate truth
I, being relised
you were correct
nor was I
I lost a love in the 
form of you
NOW...
tears share both of us
but that mighty line
can't be just overwheled
by that tears
sadly, 
I lost you, hence I 
lost my life


Details | Free verse | |

The Crossing

If I dreamt would I,
Walk to sleep?
If the hills could climb,
I’d weep
For the promise
Is not
Set forth
Being first to break up leaves
Emptiness.

Unfulfilled questions linger but,
They do die
In remembrance one will cry.
But not always
One will
Speak up
To reconcile
The past. 


Details | Free verse | |

Get a Grip - You Got the Power

He made me float…he made me beam with glee
I was once so sturdy…so robust with reverie
but, now I’m a sunken ship…everything’s gone unfortunately
Sponging in misery that I thought has disappeared into the reckless sea
Oooh…I must get a grip
Get a grip, man…
Oooh…I must take a dip
Take a dip into warmer waters
I don’t know what…I don’t know what to think anymore
Without you warming me up like a blanket,
I’m basking with bitter regret
Oooh…I must get a grip
Get a grip, man…
Don’t be a downer…(get a grip)
Don’t imitate me or you’ll end up like a loner
I’m a lonesome ghost…(I need you to take things in your own hands...you got the power!)
Hopeless in love…Our love is sour on a very unsettling hour
Trying to find friendship (on another level no doubt),
Overflowing with love…(something to marvel about)

I gottah get a grip someday!

(Get a grip) x3 Love is so overrated…
God’s love is so underrated
Worldly love is overstated
And I’ve waited for true love…
But my time was wasted

~~~Chorus~~~

I don’t know what to think of this
Might as well…might as well slip into the abyss
Kiss tragedy and wave a farewell
I miss you already…I’m under your wicked spell…
Oh well…I’m a boy and a loner,
Hopeless in love
So hopeless in love
Dealing with so much pain
Dripping continually like acid rain
Dealing with extreme separation anxiety
Ripping apart your ribcage, so I can be set free
So I can crawl out of captivity
Look at me…
Just look at me for a second or two!
Have you any empathy?
I see your eyes, soaking with tears, so blue
Don’t be a downer…(get a grip)
Don’t imitate me or you’ll end up like a loner
You’re a mind-blower! You got the power!

~~~~~~


Details | Free verse | |

TREASURES OF MY SOUL2

Me Love,

          I feel strongly your remorse
         And I see your tears
       I am so late in the world,
      Even the sun bids me farewell.
    My hands Can’t touch the cheek to clean the tears.
  Your head can’t fall on my shoulders for comfort.
 Keep hope in a tight corner of your heart.
Life breeds hope.
           But death...'Something farther'.
          I’ve found a place for us.
         ‘tis twice as beautiful
       Your time isn’t due yet am waiting.
      Don’t ask what keeps me going.
    The thoughts of the time we’ve spent
   Are those I keep in mind.
  Because those are my only treasures .
 Treasures of a lost soul like mine.


Details | Free verse | |

Cindering Thoughts

Soul charring resentment
Flaming fault at the core of my being
Pulsating regret the burning reminder
Of my self-chosen fate


Details | Free verse | |

Yesterday's Sorrow

Let your healing rain fall down on me today
Everything will be alright…
Things will work out at night
Things will fall into place I pray! I pray!
But, He whispers to me "no worries, don't let your heart beat with fright!"
You make me feel naturally high 
Like a child’s unique and creative kite...flying with all of my might, 
Caught up in the breeze of the blue-green sky, never wave your goodbyes
You were always there and everything worked out alright
Through thick and thin and our love is what sets us free from lies
But, I stumbled upon guilt…I was poorly built
I don’t feel like our love is enough to make me satisfied
We’ll be together again possibly...despite my guilt
I need a friend to talk to...I'm abashed and terrified!
Hiding in my shell...waiting to feel God's mirth...to experience a rebirth
I am…so lost though! Friend of mine, be with me now ~
I say hello to you...livin' this hell on Earth...this cruel Earth ~
I am…so scared – the price, the cost...I must pay it off somehow ~

I'm weak and fatigued - that's m-my excuse! I placed my feet in someone else's shoes!
I have been singing the blues lately...please play fair
Well, my neighbors and play mates keep telling me bad news...I feel like a baby in his terrible twos!
I put my hands up in the air, confuzzled and full of despair...

My heart thumps without a care...
Share...share with me your sun-shining, serene spirit - you're the tranquil truth, not a silly, magical myth!
Dance with me p-please? Prepare...
For the battle between good and evil - fight the good fight and get it over with

We were a fine pair once upon a time, 
But I was living in a fairytale
We were a fine pair when we worked as a team so sublime, 
But I must keep trying not to be a fail....
At last, the healing rain is pouring upon me!
My smile widens with sunlit glee...Sun-drenched glee!!
In the mirror, your face is projected on it and it reflects sadness 
Your skin is pale and now our friendship is like milk that’s stale 
I am the cereal box, left unopened (why do people judge by the cover?) and I’m, dejectedly, left in the far corner of the shelf
We were burned a thousand times by the flames of discouragement
But, you must get up and motivate yourself 
To get better by avoiding feeling discontent 
So, what now – there’s no way out
And my mind is racing with double doubt,
Falling prey to yesterday’s sorrow
I need to hold on . . . I need to move on . . . I want to carry on . . . I want to shine on . . .


Details | Free verse | |

The soul my notebooks and I

The soul, my notebooks and I

The ant lies dead in her coffin
With no one at her funeral
But I and my notebooks 
And her own soul
I sat clasping
My mountains of notebooks
Firmly to my chest crying
The size of goodbye.


Details | Free verse | |

Messed Up Love

Burning up
Torn apart
“I have had enough!”
Jaded, by your words & thoughts
Deepest, darkest parts of my heart
Drowning in my own tears and sorrow
“What have you done to me?”
“I can’t function, any more!”
Messed up love!


Details | Free verse | |

Waiting on That Call

If only I could kiss u as many times as I shed a tear last night.
I wish i were older. I wish people would  realize we are just two lonely kids trying to find a way in this world. I hope when the time comes for us to meet again we don't regret a thing. We will work out perfect we won't have to make anyone happy but ourselves. But for now, goodbye. I hope your life is as fun and amazing as you have made my life these past few months. I hope your successful, and I hope you find someone who loves you as much as I do. I hope you are happy in everything you do. Anyone who is yours is really lucky. Just know that when you need me to keep our promise, to find and fall back in love with each other, I'm where I always said I would be, waiting on that call, and on that day my life will be complete.


Details | Free verse | |

GRIEF

 G iving a
     R eal
        I ntense
          E motional 
             F eeling.


Details | Free verse | |

Stumbling Upon Guilt

Part 2 of Guilt is a Foolish Coward...(just wanted to make a fancy title for the 2nd chapter...hehe)

You don’t fool anyone; you’re a disgrace
Yeah, I’m talking to you, guilt…in your face! 
You’re as bitter as wine…
You made my taste buds scream with distaste and disgust
You are a dirty, little swine,
Eating away at the garbage and rolling in the mud and dust
You always act like you know-it-all
You’re nothing to me and that’s not all!
I don’t need you, JERKASAURUS!
You ruined us…you wrecked us…
You destroyed our happy mood
You’re no good…no good…
Don’t be shocked, you foolish coward by the name of Guilt
Time speeds up like a racecar when racing with confident wheels
Don’t be caught off guard, you guilty man…why are you poorly built?
You don’t know the pain and how much it really feels…
You still look behind you without a care
Avoid the dead-ends and don’t you dare think about walking the opposite direction 
Don’t act like a pathetic failure…
Or a disoriented sailor
Your face is turning paler… 
And you made me feel so unsure! 
I’m sick of your crying…I’m sick of you not trying…
I’m tired of you being lazy and complaining 
What is there to complain about anyways?
You always say: It’s one of those days…
You’ll pay for what you do in the long run
You need to learn good manners and be as optimistic as the sun
Push yourself forward
And don’t look back no matter how much pressure you feel
Keep running homeward 
And don’t dwell in the past, 
For you can’t undo the things 
You’ve done inadequately, 
But you can make a difference in the Future…
It’s no big deal!
My bones are aching non-stop
Don’t remain in a sorry state…don’t hesitate
To give me a call… OK?
Please remember that you’re a friend, not a foe
I just want you to let go…
Of guilt and I want you to know
That most of these words are aimed at guilt
You’re a precious, ancient quilt
Homemade and surreal 
Irreplaceable and so unreal! 
So, let me ask you a few questions:
Are you still befriending guilt? 
Are you still trapped in your past?
Are you still stressed out about life in general?
Are you allowing your feelings to take over you once more?
Doors will open…doors will close
You can always open up a new opportunity…right next door!
What about you…think again – 
You’re stumbling in the same cycle of disdainful sin
Everyone loves you and I do too 
Can you tell yourself that or is that too hard to do?
Sorry if I come across as mean
I just don’t want you to feel guilt…
If you know what I mean


Details | Free verse | |

Mommy

Your voice is etched within my drums,

telling me that everything is going to be okay.

I believe what you say,

but do not accept it.

I’m not ready for the future,

my mind tangles around the fact of your demise.

Sooner than later you will be on the other side,

speaking of your love, your life, your children.

And I will be here listening… loving… living.


Details | Free verse | |

An Imperfect Couple 2

Huffing and panting she ran down the path.
She had to get there before it was too late.
She had to stop him from doing it.
she ran but wasn't fast enough.
He was gone.
and she was alone again.


Details | Free verse | |

Straight in the Eye: Part 3

Who knows where the wicked wind do blow...
Flee from me, deep anxiety
Depression and remorse look at me
Straight in the eye
Apprehension and solitude stare at me
They all jeer at me wickedly...avarice in their heart
Take heart - the night will shine like the day
Don't look me down...don't let me sponge in dismay
Don't look at me straight in the eye
Look the other way - I'm naked and ashamed
Feeling this shame 
Feeling this shame
Without a honorable name
Who is the one to blame?
Is it I? Tell me now! Look at me!
Look at me straight in the eye
I won't tolerate any lies...I need the truth and don't ask why
Don't reject me
I know that I'm hideous
Don't stomp on me
I know that I'm a worthless being,
Just feel for me...don't let this misery
Take a toll on me
Don't let it drown out the happiness we once shared
I often wished that I was free
And, yet I still wonder if anyone in this world cared...
Has anyone cared about me?
Listen to me...
Don't shy away from me
Gaze into my eyes
Tell me, darling - was I living in the pit of lies
All along?
H-How I long
How I long for His mercy
To illuminate me...

(SHTILL IN THE EDITING WORLD)


Details | Free verse | |

Gloomy shadow

 
Since eternity you've never changed
Not weakened or cringed
Always lashing fantasies' horse 
As lightning whips the gloomy shadow
  
Since eternity
You've thrown your arrow 
On a thousand hearts then danced! 
How creative you are, creating dances!
Since eternity, alas!

With a pledge of death 
Pouring darkness invisibly and silently 
Over hearts 
Then dragging the torn clouds
Dredged in sadness
Here and there! 

Ah take our icy silence,
now but don't tremble
 
We've been ghosts 
In the cold for a long time 
Ah take it the distance now
 
You throw it there
Above the ailing hearts
Then run craving for your prey 
Crawling craftily and smugly away

Written by © Fatima Nusairat


Details | Free verse | |

The Face In The Moon

Blood drips from my weary eyes
Tears weeping for the tyranny of time
Villainy rapped up in the atmosphere
Raping and seducing the innocent without fear.
The baseness of aged old women
And the iniquities of hoary men
Mingling in dirty beds dining in public places
And sleeping with gray- haired jezebels. 
The ageing moments creeps slowly upon the door steps
Spewing out guilt and starving shame
Greedy guts packed with treacherous fumes 
Mesmerizing the mind of innocent youths.
The authoritarian amalgamate with them 
Laughing with them feasting with them
And shaking their bloody and filthy hands
Wounding hearts puncturing souls  
Yet half of the story is still untold. 
The music rattles on battered edges
Playing a sour disgusting tune
Gearing up for a perilous journey 
Hoping that it will give them victory.
I spent the entire night in the parking lot 
Crying out to my invisible God
Asking him to show his hand of mercy
And deal promptly with this vicious cruelty
I wept and prayed yet everything remained the same way.
But yesterday while driving around the block
Something magnificent happen right on the spot.
The big round moon with its glowing light shone directly through my
Windscreen and I saw a face in the brightly lit moon 
It was smiling as if it was speaking directly to me
I had to keep my eyes on the road so I glanced at it for a few seconds.
And when I circled around the block 
The face in the moon smiled at me again.


Details | Free verse | |

A secret to the end

A secret to the end

What is your dark secret?
The one you hide from the world
The one that haunts you at night
Keeping skeletons in your closet out of sight
A tight lip
Your ship does not sink
But the added burden
Weights you down
You want to confess
But you are scared the world will judge you
Such a judgmental world we live in 
So you hide like if you’re playing a game
A game of hide and seek
But you pray no one seeks out the truth
You lie to the world 
You lie to yourself
You lie to protect a secret 
The protector of the secret that is hidden
Where no map can find
Hidden well inside
Till the day you die
This secret will go down with the ship
Because the truth you would not let slip


Details | Free verse | |

Hallow

It sees
It does
It does what it sees
It sees nothing
So nothing… is what it does.
I see
I do
I do to see
I see more
But the more I do… the less he sees
I am hallow
And hallow is how I’ll be.


Details | Free verse | |

Pictures

My house,
Is covered with their faces.
All smiling,
Full of life and light.
But all of them are gone. 
Stolen from me.
Their eyes, always follow.
Begging to be seen.
Most days I ignore them.
Pretending they aren't there.
I see a soul in those paper eyes.
And they unlock my chest of memories. 
All it takes, is one look and I'm gone.
Remembering what it was like to sit side by side,
Fishing with our left handed poles.
Playing laser tag in our back yard.
Or driving around in your car.
Pondering life, and what the future may hold.
Never did I think
I would be left with only pictures.


Details | Free verse | |

A way of life

Yesterday it was you and I,
Hearts and souls holding hands and conversing about tomorrow's gift for you and i,
Today you are gone, suffocating me with your reeking absence,
As a blink, my happiness has gone,
You took it all.
Left me nothing, but relentless, regret and bitter-sweet memories.
Moving on is a way of life, 
Painful things shouldn't last this long, my happiness sure didn't.
I thought this was it, you and I,
As I was waiting for you to ripen, I had dreams for you and I,
Now they are gone,
Dissipated and disappeared; gone with the wind,
As your smell in the air, they have evaporated.
I hope you can look yourself in the mirror as you wonder why I am not next to you.


Details | Free verse | |

Fugue

I’m no one   so
I held him 
I kissed him
I killed him   now 
I have no place to go 
except 
the space between spaces
the consolation of seeing the colors
he stumbled over colors.





Details | Free verse | |

Rated R For Recovery -3-

Racing thoughts come zipping and zigzagging in my noggin; I’m 
Recovering from losing you – my mind bleeds with utter 
Regret…piling up with numerous debts… I was upset for no apparent 
Reason…. but just give me a
Reason to overcome…these waves of emotion,
Rapt in woe…overwhelmed with 
Rue…due to losing my mind over you…all along, I was a
Ripped paper, but soon you’ll tape me together again
Rocking back and forth nervously in my mind’s eye, I find that this voice of mine in my head keeps talking 
Ridiculousness… words of foolish wisdom… 
Reminding me of my past
Reminiscences…some of them I’d 
Rather throw in the near-by trash bin
Ruminations and recollections of all kinds, shapes and sizes…haunt me down like a deer, running away from his fate of getting devoured by 
Ravenous wolves of gluttony and showing their wretched teeth, snickering at the weak…fattening up the 
Rich wolf…eating away at hope…and his stomach is never, ever full…he wants more and more till he vomits out creepy, mysterious declarations of damaging destruction 
Rawrz…it is hard to choose which way I 
Really feel – happy or frustrated or sad or in between or neither? My frame of mind is already broken…who can fix it up again? Will He or you or me? You were my sugar-and-spice fantasy, but that was once upon a time… and that feeling will never, ever blanket upon me…The dismay of yesterday’s tomorrow Reduces me to tears of crystal clear sorrow… Well, who knows where the wind blows…perhaps, one day I’ll be one of those
Radiant people, skipping to and fro on the sidewalk; he uplifted me with words of poetry…he made my spirits sky high…then, stress piled upon my life and I’m caved in by anxiety and distress…you won’t see me cry – I’m not a baby, needing you to cradle me close… I’m limited and I crumble into sand…I was once a rock, limitless, 
Robust and higher than the 
Roof above my head… All I really need is your love to 
Reign upon me like a king, 
Ruling over his followers… 
Rumor has it that they 
Reaped    
Ripened grace…it all began when they walked on the 
Road of 
Recovery

(Part 4 is coming soon...stay toon! :) ) -note from Dave


Details | Free verse | |

Twelve

Twelve men
Sporting frayed, 
Burlap sacks
And white knuckles
Grind their teeth
As they
Hang loosely
From thick
Willow
Trees. 

Their stiff necks crack,
And twist
In the rope's loving embrace
Like the whips
That once ruled them.

Their limp limbs swing
And sway
And stab
At sticky,
Summer air
And sharp blades of grass
Like lonely poppies
Dancing carelessly 
In calm 
Belgian fields.

Their burnt feet arch
Like the scarred backs 
Of their ancestors, 
Angling off toward the wood chips beneath them
As the final seconds of their life
Are forced  from their lungs.

Red  flags
Embraced by Xs of blue and white
Float without worry
Above  a field of white robes and sheets,
A wash in a sea of corn
And vacant night.

Cheers greet the dozens final moments, 
Transcending into a roar of victory
And triumph.

The world is now a better place,
The world is now a better place.


Details | Free verse | |

Fire and Ash

With every tear that falls another part of me breaks and turns to ash.
Ash because every glorious, passionate fire fades away and turns to ash.

The smoke clears and all are left are crumbling ashes soon blown away by the wind.
And the miraculous fire that once consumed everything goes away.

I am the ashes left over and soon scattered on the breeze,
and you are the once glorious flame that ignited my every being.

The end result?

You will burn brightly again,
but I...I will continue to drift haphazardly on the wind with no purpose and no use.

Left to float among the sky and wait for you to ignite again so that, if only for a moment, I could feel your warmth again and remember what it was like to burn so passionately with you.


Details | Free verse | |

The Winds of Change

I know it's not winter yet, but I wrote this:

The wind, curling, meandering
stealthily shares its history

slinking, down alleys, seeping around
every entity, into the bones of life

A giant growling, fearless creature
arcing its back low – preying

On each new discovery, traveling the world
it howls at night, and then lashes out - during the day!

Shoving past unseen, its invisible breath

Shakes our immortal dreams of change
forever watching but waiting

Bringing hope; it has stroked the forehead of the sick

Bringing doom; it has crushed the bones of the earth

And then, with its loud roar it has brought death to the fragile
and has twirled the world into chaos

Wrap up tight for he awaits, his icy lick
prowling for the naked flesh

He is unforgiving, playful, but forever immortal…


Details | Free verse | |

last good-bye

A note left for her loved ones. It tells the truth and nothing else. 
For years she was hurting inside but she hide it behind a fake smile.
Her pain got worse when she was hurt by two men who loved to play head games with her. 
Making her think there was something there. Her life is over after twenty years of suffering.
Death by heart attack caused by too many meds. She never got to say her last good-bye.


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

My heart cannot be silent,
My heart calls your name
In the gloom of endless nights and
Days of longing.

(for my sister who expiration May 16, 2013 )

Cynthia


Details | Free verse | |

Wen Am Gonne

I will go,
Since i'm now called ,
A useless glutton
That only ruin
the meager flesh 
of your barn
And offer to you not
My sinews .

Worry not,
For i will go!
Even my foot prints
i shall carry along.

The crow of the roosters
shall meet me
At my father's old hut
Where you said,
I ate annually.
I will go back 
To where i belong
And where you picked me
May be to the thousand years
Old farm visited by menopause

But it is when i am gone,
You will realize
i was the beast of burden
That loaded  your mountainous
Hunchback!

When i am gone,
My name AFRICA too
Shall forever rest
And my bent_back
Shall be no more 
The table of your feet
When in leisure!
i shall have my mouth
Free off the filth of your anus.


Details | Free verse | |

When I Go

And when I die
I say I will take my own path
I will not walk down

I will climb upwards
where the light words are
where unfinished sentences
are tied to ribbons
and I will stitch them together

To make a meaning of the life I lived.


© Gry W Christensen


Details | Free verse | |

HEAVENLY SOUP

HEAVENLY SOUP!
  - Dharga Nagar Safa

A little fire,

A bucket of water,

In your hands,

Not going to destroy,

The Hell and Heaven,

In trust in God,boil,

Here,

A heavenly soup!




Details | Free verse | |

Losing My Grip

I want to believe…
In friendship love
I need to receive…
Gifts from heaven above

I want to achieve…
The treasurable confidence 
I need to believe…
And jump over the fence! 

I want to breathe 
I want to dig up what’s underneath…
I’m buried alive…
When will Your guidance arrive? 

I’m on fire… 
I’m catching myself before I slip
I’m a flat tire…
I’m slowing down…I’m losing my grip

The dogs are hovering on my left side…
I’m defeated by levels of uncertainty 
I’m calling for help… who will give me a ride?  
My mind is muddled and empty 

How can I be a believer
When I'm far from serenity 
Who could be my reliever?
I'm too late to be saved from my misery...


Details | Free verse | |

There is not a day

There is not a day
     
   Not a day goes by that storm cloud do not accumulate, gather in the deep recesses of my throat, and choke off my life’s breath – that do not rage on, behind these sorrowful, doleful brown eyes, just waiting for a chance opening, that will let out a deluge of pain, pain that has rained down upon this tired old soul for far to long, cutting deep groves into my spirit, leaving thick scares that may become the walls for another to try and tear down as I have tried to do with your walls . 
   Acceptance will let me know - finally – that alone in this world, I will walk, alone in my room, were the bitter sweets, sound waves of music, dance along the acoustic meatus and beat upon the tympanic membrane on their way into my brain and were the rays from the cathode ( boob ) tube light up the gray matter ( that sits in this stark room ) with it’s illusionary images of imaginary lives with a thousand stories that feed my – and so many more – empty moments. Alone in my bedroom, I lay, were darkness and dreams fill my empty nights, alone in my bedroom were preparation of energy feeds this old body of mine, alone in my bedroom were Mother Nature’s embryonic fluid flows beneath me, surrounds this tired old body with the heat of her life giving essence, her mysterious forces submerging all my cares and woes- for a few hours anyway .
   Alone in these rooms, my heart lays, alone in these rooms may be my fate, my destine and alone in these places may allow me - along with all that I have written and written to you – to be able to grieve for the loss of someone and something that was never mine to loose in the first place and would never have been in the first place, it seems .

B. J. "A" 2
Janurary 11th 2008


Details | Free verse | |

EMPTY

When words cannot 
comfort
Cannot say enough to 
express self
Totally drowned deep

What do you do?
Had the situation been 
good it excites,
if not it tortures

What do you do?
A cry can best tell
But to itching ears, no 
meaning

What do you do?
Can best do nothing
Empty

©Kofi Asokwa-Nkansah


Details | Free verse | |

Pain and Misery

Running from the world,
Hiding from reality.
Holding onto dreams,
Never wanting to wake up.

I cry for everything I've done,
All the misery I've caused.
All I did was cause pain,
All I did was make you cry.

I'm all alone now,
Drowning in pain and misery.
You were the most important person,
Yet all I did was hurt you.


Details | Free verse | |

the sadness of being

the mourning light
 lays upon your 
face
 spilling its sadness
 wearing your grief

we hold on trying
 to halt your slide
 under our hands
 leaves of skin flake
 to float the breeze,
 you are vanishing 

smile lines are 
erased
 a flawless mask
 takes their place,
 looking into the 
unknown
 you are lost in 
dreams

each day a knife of 
anguish
 carves at your 
mind
 you've forgotten
 the majesty of life
 and a love all 
carry for you 

suffering and 
misery
 stay behind in 
attendance
 we touch your 
center
 hoping to revive a 
spirit
 to no avail 

he would have 
wanted you
 dancing to the 
music of each day
 finding joy in a 
speck of light
 to love again and 
deeply
 with passion and 
flames

happiness was his 
mantel
 a laughing song of 
joy
 and a soul 
overflowing
 with hope,
 he was your 
everything,
 we can’t begin to 
understand

But,
 your presence is 
missing
 we have lost you 
both,
 I have cast spells
 and woven magic
 to bring you back 

I have prayed to a 
god
 I don’t believe in,
 with no answer,
 now
 I am lost to your 
sorrow
 I will join you in 
black
 until you are ready
 to come back to 
being again


Details | Free verse | |

Grief

You've left this crowd.
I search for you in this sea of faces;
I look for your face in the face of strangers.

Your nose on a newborn in a stroller on Madison.
Your eyes on a woman with a latte on Broadway. 
Your frizzy red hair on that Brooklyn Billboard.
I see your smile on every bleak, sleek street.
And if I close my eyes for a moment of reprieve,
I hear your Queens accent on every City sidewalk.
It resonates in my ears.
It chews through my eardrums like maggots
That want to take me to you.

But I refuse.
I barely ever knew you;
And you've quit this crowd.


Details | Free verse | |

Whirlpools

Happy times we will always 
remember.
But it's the tragedies that really thrive in our heads,
that feed on our pain, our guilt, until we 
surrender.
The hurt, the remorse that all of us have felt,
suck us under like the whirlpools that are our 
feelings.
That stop us from seeing the light, 
that stop us from growing and stop us from
healing.
We all give up, we think we don't need to 
fight.
When all that is doing
is stopping us from continuing on 
the confusing path that is
life.



Details | Free verse | |

Who Am I

I'm just a somebody in this world                                                                                     The only power I have is my writing                                                                                 So I write day in and day out                                                                                           While my friends sit,  studying intently                                                                             I'm stuck with my diary, writing my thoughts                                                                    Who Am I ? certainly not perfect, I have good days and bad ones                                       Illusion is where I prefer to live because my life is a terrible mess                                       My friends dream big while I look around with nothing in my head                                      Who Am I ? just an average person                                                                                  Who writes crazily when my inner demons are near                                                           I was a child once, I was innocent too, now I'm far too messed up                                      Who Am I ? maybe a romantic at heart, afraid that my dreams won't come true                   Who Am I ? you would never know                                                                                   Because I write and write and you just keep on reading                                                     You enjoy, you forget, you move on                                                                                 From one piece to another.


Details | Free verse | |

Recieving Fortification -part 5-

Keeping the limited time in mind,
I’ve lost grip of the rope of hope almost…
But I’m seriously frustrated – 
Why did you leave my side? Who can mend this rip
In my heart, once fabricated by affection?

Open wide your ears, 
So I can whisper forgiveness that I’ve hidden for years
There’s no use in running away…
No use in waiting another day…
There’s a great purpose for you and I to shine
To brighten up the night…
The brokenhearted strangers…the distraught orphans 
The bad conditions of this world frighten me! 
I need to become more like His child
His joyous sheep!
This harmful behavior…
I-I must be strong
And put an end to it…before the roots get too deep
I know it’s dangerous and wrong! It's too much pressure to reap!

So, what am I supposed to do when I feel down? Are you even there to erase my frown?
Anyways, I wish you good in all you do I wish you good health and luck too But, I’m alive and I’m in a restful state Fighting the feelings of hate What is there to do? Wait for an answer that will never come? What is there to say? Do I pray for God’s soon-to-be Kingdom? I got to explore deeper so I can find The one I truly love…God knows I’ve tried I got to seek change before my time’s up – tell me if I’m falling behind I’m feeling numb at the wrong time…my high hopes has died Should I shout for your attention? Or would that be too much of an intrusion? Whatever fits the occasion… Don’t laugh at me… I’ve married anticipation! You’re a beloved guest to the wedding! We’ve got together with God’s fortification…


Details | Free verse | |

Dreary All Day Long

You’re so far away
I’m on my own... I am so alone.
You’re the dawn of the day
I’m taking wing on my own... I am so forlorn.
 
Which route should I pick?
When I’m silhouetted in loneliness?
Which road should I drive?
When I’m enclosed in dreariness?  

You've pushed me to the ground
I'm sick of the lack of love...
You're no where to be found...
I'm taking my first flight...like a 
baby, ravishing dove.

Which direction do I turn to? 
When I'm bewildered and scared?
You're the sunset with the hues of 
Red, yellow, orange and blue
I'm dreary all day long - I'm most certainly...
Unprepared. 
And worn-out by the worries of this week
At least I get the evening to myself...
But... I still feel weak...
The bad news that you sent me
Made me feel 
Bleak...


Details | Free verse | |

Lay OFF of Me

You are under his roof now...
Deny it not
You are his own comforter
Lay off of me, you stubborn child -
LEAVE ME!!
You feel perfect
When he's near...
When I appear...
You draw back in fear...
You are his property now
It's SO true - 
You are a selfish, little liar 
You burn me like flames 
You called me nasty names
Your image transformed to shame 
You witch!
I was caught under your spell...
You dwell...
IN DARKNESS...
Down you go in the abyss
You are so insidious....
Frankly, you've done enough damage
While I tried my hardest to break free
From the bondage 

You dwell in the shadows 
With the predator...
Lay off of me,

YOU total disaster

Obey your master - 
the devil...




Details | Free verse | |

I Will Recite the Love Poem


Away my soul suspends into the thin air
As I drool away the day, lying in the lair
Waiting for the diamond rays of the sun sinking below the earth far away
Chirping crickets; and the curly motions of the evening birds takes my soul away 
Chorus of mystery drowns my silent sobs
Golden and pacific, the moon grows aglow in grandeur atop the hills 
 Slimy like a snail it crawls among the army of silvery chariots dotting the sky,

A little voice creeps from the belly of darkness
Saying in low monotones; 
Only the tales of sadness
‘Cherie is lost in into a stretch so endless’
She made her maiden journey into a voyage so tumultuous; when she closed her eyes in paleness
Her epitaph is now giving way to age. 
Cherie drifted with the winds away into the distant lands of her own
 A new day shall never dawn with Cherie perched on her favorite chair playing on the piano  
Cherie will never again play her favorite note.
I will only watch in a dream, Cherie doing the ballet

From your unknown courts of royalty,
Your silvery costumes shall rewrite our fairy tales of the time gone by.
I’ll recite you, our maiden love poem
Even ‘it’ takes millions of miles to reach you; my voice shall reach you like whispers in the wind
Like the winds of a barren earth of a desert.



Details | Free verse | |

Skyfall

"I've felt such span of years and worlds
but face the rest uncertainly
Wandring wastes of unfinished futures, I know,
And am what I must be"

Who are the singers?
Were is the song?
Who knows what things must come, 
Among the million things that may?
A prophet, staring guiltily at the end of days
His skin stained grey by darkest shadows

By their presence, they are unbound
Among the stars where the world goes round:
Must the seer see their fate?
See the world rent by lust and hate?
And know that hope's the curelest of all
Fearing, as she does, herself after the fall?


Details | Free verse | |

Hungry Thief

For the first time ever,
a Cardinal's nest lay cleverly hidden
in a juncture of two branches
of the red rose climber
on the south wall of our garage.

Over the years, we'd watched with pleasure
as House Finches, Eastern Phoebe,
Bluebirds, and Wrens nested in flowerpots,
birdhouses, spruce trees, and on porch walls.
Purple Martins snootily passed us by
in spite of elaborate housing provided.
 
Once, a Rufous-sided Towhee deposited
her eggs on the ground, underneath
a large cedar tree near the driveway.
We mowed around them, shooed turtles 
toward distant woods, and watched 
eggs hatch, babies fly into the future.

Cardinal babes were a new and welcome
experience. Almost daily, we peeked.
But grief came quickly with eagle eye, 
hooked talon, and razor-edged beak.
A Cooper's Hawk left a shattered nest, 
a mother's heart ripped apart, and us,
feeling her pain to the marrow of our bones.



Details | Free verse | |

What to say

What's there to say about Maxine...
She was a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a mother, and a grandmother. 
The younger generation may not know how she was when she grew up, but those are memories our parents and brothers have to share.
The other years during her struggles into the medical field and years after are the memories for the younger generation.
We all have our special moment with Maxine, those are what we need to keep close to us and in our hearts. 
She may have had her moments when she drove us crazy and we wanted to scream, but those times will soon fade away and all that's left will be the good times we share. 
Maxine may not be here physically with us, but she's imprinted in our hearts and will live on in our memories. 
She's not gone and when it is our time to pass from this world, she'll be waiting to greet us with a smile. 
So as we say goodbye to her lets try not to cry to hard but to be happy for her because that's what she will want us to do.

5/1/13


Details | Free verse | |

Faceless Enemy

How easily you ran rampant
through our sleeping little town.
Lives, you touched so many
over the years,
for the better.
Manyadmired and respected you,
dressed in blue.
Did this beast always reside in you?
Secreted away from the world?
Or was it new?
What caused this fracture, this divide?
Something unforeseen?
When it came,
you did not fight.
You let it reap and in this
last instant you took them all
and saved you for last.
Coward!


Details | Free verse | |

Only on your terms


You came to me
with arms open,
cathedrals of hope
enclosing me in their
warm embrace,
when you thought
it was necessary
to keep me still.

You came to me,
with strings of hearts
balanced perfectly
on your tongue
when you thought it was
something I needed
to see to make me
bloom open for you.

You came to me,
admission-less, when
my legs were spread,
my tongue was ready,
my head was back,
and yes formed easy
deep in the back
of my throat.

But,
when I was nothing more
than a fetal position,
crawling on bathroom floors,
screaming for what was lost,
when I was stained with grief,
and I began to stumble, yearly,
through gardens of tears,

you were a sun turned cold,
burning me with your
absence of light.


Details | Free verse | |

The Machine

Once was a man who loved with all of his heart
But it was because of that love that made him more dark
A darkness unlike any night and void of its depth
Then like a cocoon of baby spiders it crept all through his flesh
For the world was his passion so bright and so green
But another man had different dreams that created the machine
And although accomplishment was to his hearts content
He gave it to idled hands unaware of consequence 
They began exploiting the weak as they took what they pleased
The world became frightful, poor, and diseased
One mans hymn of praise became another mans curse
As thy flesh fed the machine and his blood quenched its thirst
While the street became flooded from tears of the damned
The gutters overfilled with uprisings and demands
But the ones that were in power refused to be overthrown
So the weak destroyed the machine and thus everyones home
For the hands that built it knew nothing of the dream
And the ones who controlled it cared for nothing it conceived  
The head and hands need a mediator and it must be thy heart
Or the world will bare witness to a civilization torn apart
~ JJF ~

“A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within.”
 ~ Ariel Durant ~


Details | Free verse | |

Abusive Love

Cold case lover, how I loved you so!
You always mattered
But, you never believed me!
You were my every desire
You were everything to me!
Looking through your eyes
Jaded with jealousy and envy
You laid your hands upon me
Acting out your emotional
And bitter pain
“Why were you so mean spirited?"
“Who messed with your mind?"
How can you kneel before me, now
Pleading me to forgive you
As, you bawl your eyes out

Your relentless begging
Over and over
You keep playing mind games, with me!
Begging me, for mercy
To come back,
One, last, time...

With my swollen eyes
Broken bones
Twisted up, insides
My heart is torn!
“Are you a dead man walking?"
“Do you not ‘feel’ no more”?
Will I get to see tomorrow’s sunrise
If, I stay another day with you...

Playing Russian roulette with my life
I am terrified, I am petrified!
My eyes are blind
My heart too forgiving!
But, I am not leaving.

“Will I become a cold case murder, one day?"
I wonder...
At the hands, of my own stupidity!
“What will you do on that day, dear lover?"
“Will you lie and be deceitful?"
“Will you hide things?"
Just like, you did from me!

Will, you ‘vow’ devotedly
You did it all in the name of ‘Love?'
Will you brag about
Your ‘bitter, sweet victory?
Open wounds
Bleeding soul
Release me free
From this man’s betrayal!


Details | Free verse | |

Fate

Venom laced words
Is all the world
Feeds the weak
But I can taste the brutal decay
Of all the slain souls
Now buried in the deep
Look through the eyes of the Taken
You will see this tainted world
You will see you’re mistaken
Those are not happy tears
They are laced with blood
No one feels a thing
They have all gone cold
And gone numb
You feast your eyes
On a beautiful Shamrock Shore
But instead I see waves of black
Swimming along are the snakes of wrath
Those sweet little lullabies
Causing you to sleep
They wake up the Demons
You are their feast
When will you stop?
Looking through the eyes of faith
Take a look through my eyes and see
Those born of innocence...
Their true damned Fate


Details | Free verse | |

Grieve

Wash away my hopes
Wash away my dreams
But one thing you would never take away from me is the way I grieve
I work at my own pace
Don't try to make me go faster
I'm just a child which you cannot lather
like soap or like lotion
Within my soul holds alot of emotional devotion
I will still carry on
Even though my soul couldn't
But still in the back of my mind I'm thinking I shouldn't
Let me grieve, just let me grieve


Details | Free verse | |

A Morsel of Stones

In the womb of warmth
Nine months sleeping
Till Pain woke me up
Fear brought me up
Through cloudy days and burning nights
I sang lone song of woe
Of the sun and of the moon
Letting a long winter
Stretch
Of the wind and of the heat
Hurling
A handful of stones
Yes
Stones, stones, stones
I had asked for bread


Details | Free verse | |

You - First Poem I wrote

This is the first poem I have ever written. I was eight when I wrote this. 

I cry so loud
Yet no one hears
It is not easy to compose my fears
Life is not fun, its all a haze
But you keep me alive on my bad days
Just the thought of your skin on mine
Makes me sad, makes me cry
The dreams are so vivid
They feel so real
Just the thought of being away from you 
Makes me feel like I’m being killed
My lips turn blue
Because there is no longer air
My heart stops too
In thin air
My blood slows, cold as ice
It doesn’t feel good
It doesn’t feel nice
People say I act transparent
As if I’m the only on one this planet
But it’s you that keeps me alive
Helps me breathe
Won’t let me die
I close my eyes
Knowing sleep will not come
I close my eyes, I think of you
And my pain and suffering starts to numb…


Details | Free verse | |

Lost

Alas! I am lost in this darkness of night
Where is the virgin moon to grant me its purity?
The fireflies of night to guide me?
All I see is the darkness that embraced me
And the black shadows walking around
I am struggling to move around in this darkness
Sometimes I stumble over obstacles
I can’t identify these collapsed entities
As I am blinded by the darkness
I shout for help but get no response
The shadows floats past by me 
Like soulless and cold ghosts 
The entire domain is hushed
No! I am mistaken for I receive something
Several feeble sounds of cries and mourning? 
Terror gathers upon me
I can’t realize the act but just hear
For darkness has blindfolded me


I kneel down upon my wounded knees
To plead to Thee for guidance
Maybe a helping hand
Or a light to reveal the way
Oh! Father please guide me! 
I am lost in this darkness of night!


Details | Free verse | |

Solitude

Jul 2013
Chennai

I walk up to the beach, in the darkness of clouds and rain,
I see a lot of people; I avoid looking at anyone so much
that even I notice it.

So I meet the gaze of the next person passing by,
It felt like they were staring at me,
Oh! A colleague from work place, whom I only know by face;
Hi, smile, walk across
They remain, a colleague from work place, whom I only know by face.

I walk up to the beach, in the darkness of cloud and rain,
I see a lot of people; I avoid looking in anyone’'s eyes so much
that even I notice it.

So I meet the gaze of the next person passing by,
They had red eyes,
A pose that screamed - move or say anything and I will run away,
As my gaze interrupted their scrounging of the garbage bin,
for plastic bottles, half eaten KFC burgers, shoes, clothes?

I see a lot of people; I avoid looking at anyone
Even if I notice it.


Details | Free verse | |

Gone


Falling

Deeper...deeper..deeper

Into the darkness

Swallowing you whole

Envoloping you in black

You welcome it

A comforting oblivion

No pain

No hurt

No sadness

No feeling

Blissful numbing

The blood drips out

More...more...more

As you slip farther away...

Each drop another part of life you lose

Slowly fading away.

Faster...faster..faster

Your final moments tick by.

You close your eyes

Peaceful

Pleasant

Oblivious

You don't feel a thing

You've wasted away

Gone now...

But finally in bliss


Details | Free verse | |

The Visit

11:21 PM 9/27/01                         The Visit

I sit in splendor amongst the sun
Of an afternoon sky

Surrounded
I look below to see the stones
Skyward proud they stand

Some I know, most imagined
All the quieter now

Deer travel the fringes here
Off to the East a bit
Never to offend these resting souls
Passersby in life

In a moment of silence I sit......
Remembering 
How precious life can be

How voices no longer heard
Can resound within the soul
Lighten the sky in brilliance
Form clouds in shapes of love

Me in the afternoon sun
And you in my beating heart

A reflection of the day










Details | Free verse | |

seasons

The seasons move
     Outlining the shape of your shadow
a cold bite cast a glow
        through the center of the abyss

Grief-struck, fresh and new
    though blurred before
      by new life first
Grief focus's on the absence
                        your presence
   in the seasons of my live
              where you should be
where you are not.

My gaze toward places
our coven of women should be
Realization struck
     -nothing will remove it
This gaping void
         where your love should be.


Details | Free verse | |

Rocking Your Faith To Sleep

She is tired of fighting, sick and tired of changes
Weary of the battles, the struggles and the challenges
She left so much, just to possess so little
Limping from holding on at every single angle
Faith came from the fight, now it is night
And she is exhausted, despite having a dim light
Holding on to her little faith for so very long
Clutching it tight, even singing it a song
Her faith cries out, her little faith screams out
Still young but giving everything out in a shout
But she is without concerned. Her pain is stronger
Holding on to her faith seems to make the pain linger
...So, she rocks her faith to sleep
 
She wants the pain to be numbed with aspirin
Knowing that there's no cure, but a brief separation
Like a bad toothache, she desires Novocain
Anything to relieve her from life's constant pain.
She now became apathetic. Her fire flickered out.
Unfulfilled promises and failed expectations about
How things will be better, how good life will be
But instead she is faced with constant trials and misery.
Wanting something so bad, but cannot get it.
Desiring a change, but it fails to manifest.
So the best thing to do when your heart is sore
From not getting what you want is not to want it anymore
...So, she rocks her faith to sleep
 
Suppressed her desires into the bed of her unconscious
Covering sheets of darkness over something so precious.
Her faith: covered in darkness, now out of sight.
Then she turned off all hope when she turned off the light.
Allowing her fears to surround her precious faith
That is under the sheet of darkness that resembles lace
Because she lived a life of promises, chasing a dream
But it was so troublesome that she wanted to scream.
Now walking in utter darkness, no hope or ambitions
Just one with her carnal desires and temptations.
Her faith, teary eyed and whimpering, at last closed its eye
And she closed the door of her heart, leaving it inside
And in there is where her faith still slumber
While she lives without a dream, failing to persevere.
Thought that life would be better, but instead
Is living a life similar to being brain dead
...Since, she rocked her faith to sleep


Details | Free verse | |

Where were you

patience is a virtue but not to the people that hurt you, I'm not talking about fists being thrown letting them selves be known, I'm talking about mentally being there thru history, but lesson learned they lit you on fire and let you burn, Like a candy they craved for but you were the wrong flavor, It's OK because now you know that friends are 30 minute show, walk up to the TV turn it off slow and realize you got family that you owe.


Details | Free verse | |

At Gravesite

How is it I draw near to you
as I approach this common ground,
yours above and mine beneath
connecting our mortality yet still
symbolic of the separation that took place
as I laid you there apart from everyday. 

I know you hover there with me,
our mutuality in tribute to the Adam dust
that formed us, carries us along
to ride the winds
across the fields and towns forever
while these minutes here
when I look down, resist,
and in our tryst pause to allow
'I love you's' here and now
to bridge the days beyond
when I must turn away.

The visits carry vanity as well.
I choose them to assuage
my feelings of neglect; it never works.
The stone, defiant, strong
in its assault upon my eyes
betrays the irony its vigil promises.
Its song of death alone
is all I hear behind my upraised heel.

But it is not the ash, the dust, the winds,
the stone of taciturn reproach I keep
upon my heart as I drive off.
It is your voice I hear again,
"Dad, I'll always be here, loving you."
You knew I needed that.
               ~


Details | Free verse | |

by his grace

Easter approaches.
with the days counted on the calender
each year I watch and wait to observe
the little boxes and little slashes
get moved on down the row 
untill the month is over

and I can move on with the un-remembering
the dreams can rest and sleep  return

the un-acknowleded tracking
of the anniversary of the days our lives unmade

I can stop pretending that this is just a day
and move on with the daily motions of life
and pack away flashbacks the leak in
when the world keeps reminding me
that She left me this day, and flew home with Jesus.

I pray this is the year I can worship and praise
the grace that saved me from fear and anger
the love that forgave me for running
.....but Lord the loss is so heavy.

Last Sunday I thanked you for healing my grief
and plowing my heart towards love and acceptance again
Last year I gave thanks that I could remember in love instead of anger
today I weep to feel that love and hold this loneliness...

my intentions are pure but father this ache is overwhelming.
 this pain has been my undoing for so long
           half my heart has gone but grace rebuilds it
fortify  these cracks with Life and Love...

by grace and mercy my mistakes are forgiven
my guilt removed that I can remember in love not pain
         
the self remorse for living
      and anger of her dying
you take it all Father and remake us in your grace
lifting us from your cross to heaven
......but I miss her Lord 
and these tears are etched in your holy day
I can not celebrate in  pain.


Details | Free verse | |

Nearing My End - You're Left Without a Clue

Friends come and go like season to season…(whatever…sure…)
Dealing with vile clashing commotions for no reason (whatsoever…sir…)
Is there a cure to this heartbreak?
My heart skipped a beat…time spent with you isn’t a treat!!
Race me to see who wins for your sake!
You make me feel kind of incomplete…you aren’t at all neat!

Pre-chorus: I thought your grass was green…I’m hopeless… (Oh funny, I 
thought you were a good person…I was there for you through thick and thin – 
you do not love me anymore) 
I’m through with you...you…tonight…I long for God’s light (to shed on me…we 
were in content & we were pleasant)
Chorus: Ahhhh….Stop being a tease…
Ahhhh….Being a tease…(my heart broke into two)
Ahhhh….Here’s a wound to mend
Ahhhh….Please, put my mind at ease
Ahhhh….You don’t see me, nearing my end…
Ahhhh….Nearing my end…(you’re left without a clue)
Pre-chorus #2: You turned out to be so mean…you were so heartless… (you 
make me feel like nothin’…make me feel like someone…somethin’ – your words 
pierced me like a pin on the floor)
I’m not haunted by your callous night…don’t pick a fight (with me…we were 
innocent like a newborn infant)

You can’t see me…
Lost in a multitude…
You can’t discover my glee…
I have the attitude of gratitude…

Give me an excuse or a reason
To overcome these waves of emotions
Friends come and go like season to season
Dealing with vile clashing commotions

Pre-chorus: I thought your grass was green…I’m hopeless… (Oh funny, I 
thought you were a good person…I was there for you through thick and thin – 
you do not love me anymore) 

Friends come and go like season to season…(whatever…sure…)
Dealing with vile clashing commotions for no reason (whatsoever…sir…)
Is there a cure to this heartbreak?
My heart skipped a beat…time spent with you is not a treat!!
Race me to see who wins for your sake!
You make me feel kind of incomplete…you are not at all neat!


Details | Free verse | |

Straight in the Eye: Part 2

No one's here to catch me while I fall
Trust fall...shatters my hope...
Trusting you...made me lose hope
Made me lose grip of the rope of hope
Plant in me thoughts of joy
Repair me, for I'm a broken toy
I'm a lonely, scared and happy-go-lucky boy
I was a lovely child in His eyes
But, Satan saw my weaknesses and took me for granite
The sins looked me
Straight in the eye
Straight in the eye
Watch me take wing
Watch me take wing
I wish I could fly
FLY like the birds, 
Caught in the motion of the ocean-like sky
Words escape my lips
You took the words straight out of my mouth
My heart slowly rips
As tragedy's sting takes over my body...
My faith is as far as north to south
Give me peace...
Give me strength 
To run the extra mile
Let me smile for a while
Give me a reason to overcome these waves of emotions
I hate the world and its countless commotions
Help me, Lord of Accord
Save me...I have to pay for my sins
And some of them I can't afford
I can't afford to pay off my emotional debts...
Show me the way that I should GO
Don't tell me...please don't tell me
To go with the flow ~~ ~~ ~~

(SHTILL IN THE EDITING WORLD)


Details | Free verse | |

GRIEF - Lamenting

My mind, thrashing about, fighting the reality
that you are no longer here.
My world, so full of your absence,
Our house, wasting away in quiet despair.
A table setting for one now, if at all;
No loathsome smell of magic shave.
No sweet aroma of your cologne.
Our half empty bed, and no love sounds.
Yesterday I reached out for you, forgetting.
Called your name again, forgetting.
The sound of crying again, my own,
Remembering you had returned to dust, and
I to loneliness.


For Black Eyed Susan's Contest  a poem of truth


Details | Free verse | |

Lack

three hundred and sixty degrees
around me
is blank.
you are nowhere to be found,
therefore I
have nothing left
to surmise about
us.

reaching out
only slights my
equilibrium:
my view of everything else
is now distorted.

no glow shines from the
memories,

nothing else is left
to be lifted
from the disturbances I loved so much.

consistency wasn’t an option;
therefore discrepancy was bound.

let it go
let it be
let it drift away with the wind.

it’s over.


Details | Free verse | |

So-See-A-Path, back

So I destroyed your heart? 
Well you destroyed my child. 
So were on even ground now
We both, wild souls to stay forever in heat. 
coming apart slowly collapsing. 
I'm only holding on to take you with me.
And our teeth have been eroded. 
To live with the other sand on the beaches. 
These hands have been monsters 
crunching on your bones and your personal belongings. 
How bored we'll be when we have nothing else to lose.
And this fever breaks greatly. 
-----
Switching to nesting. 
Upon arrival. 
Separating. 
Haunted from Prodigal hunts from Superior enemies. 
The master eventually finds a family. 
Never trusting. 
Breaches true opponents and unfamiliar
Aberrant actions happen.
One option. See a path. So I take it. 
Dear family. 
Holding hands to cut the circulation. 
No option. For Temperamental acumen are knocking at my white door. 
But! I do not want to die yet.
So Torrid war progresses The pressure growing intimate. 
But when Fate starts to burden both hands. 
A cross of fingers reluctantly stands adamant. 
Until a despotic body finds solace in head 
and fingers understand
to change river to fist 
rather to cast a great stone, 
to sit this one out instead


Details | Free verse | |

two of me

smooth soft flesh
and eyes so clear
threw out these years
you've changed
rugged tattored skin
tears fall fast
he said i will never let you down

i lied to you
and i lied to myself

but know my subconsious
and the other me lead me to belive
that i could set you free
i am a liar
i have regrets
but but i can never forget

i walk one way
i look the other
i rip myself in half
who am i?
who are you?
****ing make up your mind
before he says otherwise
heart torn in two
but there both just for you?
what do i say what do i do?
i guess with regrets you need to forget?

for there is two of me!
for there is two of me!
which side do you see
but your heart resides in me!

 


Details | Free verse | |

These Tears Will be her Last

Having to kill her hope
Because she surrendered again
Gave yourself to that fiend
Who broke her heart over again
Let out those tears
They will be her last
No longer will she fall
No longer made of glass
Building up those shields
Keeping up a wall
Nothing can get in this time
For if it does she will surely fall
Fall into desire
Fall back into need
Only caring for him
Not caring if she bleeds
It cannot happen again
There is nothing left to die
So keeping up these shields
Keeping up these lies
Are not meant to hurt a soul
But only to keep hers alive



Details | Free verse | |

Go Far Away From Me

Go away from me
Go trouble someone else 
You took away everything from me
Why look...there's nothing left
That's the game you play
but I don't want to play anymore 
So take your board of misery and leave 
Set me free
Let me flee far away from you so you could not find me again
See how I am?
You did this to me
You are evil in every way
You are lower then dirt and slippery then spit
I hate you with a passion
Like a infectious disease I wish to rid my body of you
But you are without a body or name
So I will give you a name 
I will call you loneliness


Details | Free verse | |

Walk

An old green t-shirt, in the corner
Lying on the floor, crumpled and faded,
Thoughts of the intended owner have their say,
All manners of time have left their stain in white,
Scoffing as they leave, post haste and diligently,
Dilema to the head, to bask and smile at then
Or to perform  a twisting decay more towards today,
The t-shirt is tossed to the cold ground and rain,
A walk to search and scavenge for God knows what,
Impressions from a sigh atomize the rain,
Catching it in place long enough to feel its leave,
Paths of concrete softened with the sheddings of trees,
Soggy yellow wisps that once supplied,
An entire years worth of hope and life,
Until they too faded and now provide
Both support and resistance for distance I transverse,
Only as the rain secedes from the sky can my eyes rise,
We knew it was a facade, however well made,
Just like you said my eyes are ice, glazed and blind,
Clouds concealing stars.


Details | Free verse | |

Sometimes I walk and feel no heat

Sometimes I walk and feel no heat 
Nor rain nor wind nor sea
That rolls its tumbling waves
Against my brain
But only taste the salt upon my lips
From waves upon my face
That rolls against my cheeks.
I see the gates are closed,
How I dread such gates
That can be closed so tight
I have pounded them each night.
Blood of my blood
You are gone from me
And I am helpless in your wake
I am sundered by your loss
You who of your mothers face
Brought out the only light in me
From barren wastes you came to me
But now I am returning back
Where moonbeams shed no light
To rage against the innocence
Of what is left
To count my losses
And what is lost to me.








Details | Free verse | |

Remember

I want to remember this moment.
How you made me feel.
Pretending that we are close again,
But knowing it’s not real. 

I want to remember the lies-
How you plagued me with mistrust.
The way your words rang clearly,
They were full of hatred and disgust. 

I want to remember the poetry written.
How you make my writing sound.
I was never truly lost,
I was just looking to be found. 

I want to remember who you claim to be.
How you are a hero who was disguised.
I find that hard to comprehend,
You are always victimized. 

I want to remember our beginning.
How you turned it into the end. 
Finally getting to be myself,
Not having to defend.

I want to remember this moment.
How you made me feel.
Pretending we are close again,
But knowing it’s not real.


Details | Free verse | |

Storm

As the storm brews in the tenacious sky
One can only dream
When will the sun arrive?
Handicapped from planned pursuits
The chain from the shadows lurks
Wrapping around your being, all actions made mute
Sun, Savior, Liberator
When will you finally release these cuffs of confinement?

*I decided to write this one due to how Central Florida was stricken with a tornado warning yesterday. Sometimes, boredom is a good thing!:)

-M&M


Details | Free verse | |

Utopia

You’re an angel of light (in my sight)
Well, I know you are unforgotten in my memory
And, darling, everything will be alright - You can fly…but I’m incompetent…I am  ashamed to say goodbye! 
Your moonlit halo shines gleams ever so delightedly 
And, darling, just let go of worry and take wing from on high…I can’t deny that I think very highly of you and I’m obliged to see you, accepting that you’re a bold leader, learning to modestly fly
Well, I know you are unforgotten in my memory
You’re an angel of light (in my sight)

You and I depart 
Like clouds in the aqua-blue sky…I know you’ve been ponging in your own emotional mess…but you got to make progress 
I let you fall apart…I regret it…I shatter like glass…who can repair my heartbroken soul of temporary distress?

You’re an angel of light (in my sight)
Well, I know you are unforgotten in my memory
And, darling, everything will be alright…
Your moonlit halo shines gleams ever so delightedly 

I can tell you were hurt to the core from the start – 
But, I’ll pick you up from the floor
I’ll give you another chance…for you’re my sunrise…
Let God’s therapeutic rain pour

You’re an angel of light (in my sight)
Well, I know you are unforgotten in my memory
And, darling, everything will be alright…
Your moonlit halo gleams ever so delightedly 

Let love and hope shower relief upon you…just roll the dice…
You’re my angel of light…I was your living sacrifice…
I was walking on thin ice until I met you…
You’re beautiful in every angle and I can’t help, but daydream when I look into your universe eyes…please don’t be doused in dismay

You’re an angel of light (in my sight)
Well, I know you are unforgotten in my memory
And, darling, everything will be alright…
Your moonlit halo gleams ever so delightedly 

I tried to keep pace with your cheerful spirits, but I’ve been left without a trace and my spirits are gravity-bound because I feel like a disgrace
Oooh, but there’s a Utopia in store for you and I to shine on…the lies covers up all the lies…the hello’s of yesterday’s tomorrow dismissed the goodbyes of tomorrow’s yesterday…
Tell me why I should get over you…because you’re my saving grace…and just in case you were wondering about me, I’m feeling good enough and I’m under your enchanting spell…then, I look up at your appealing face…
Your face is shining bright when you walk into the spotlight…my heart is beating with upbeat ryhtm… your auras are dazzling to stare at…

You’re an angel of light (in my sight)
Well, I know you are unforgotten in my memory
And, darling, everything will be alright…
Your moonlit halo gleams ever so delightedly 

You and I depart 
Like clouds in the aqua-blue sky…I know you’ve been ponging in your own emotional mess…but you got to make progress 
I let you fall apart…I regret it…I shatter like glass…who can repair my heartbroken soul of temporary distress?
I can tell you were hurt to the core from the start – 
But, I’ll pick you up from the floor
I’ll give you another chance…for you’re my sunrise…
Let God’s therapeutic rain pour
Let love and hope shower relief upon you…just roll the dice…
You’re my angel of light…I was your living sacrifice…
I was walking on thin ice until I met you…
You’re beautiful in every angle and I can’t help, but daydream when I look into your universe eyes…please don’t be doused in dismay
I tried to keep pace with your cheerful spirits, but I’ve been left without a trace and my spirits are gravity-bound because I feel like a disgrace
Oooh, but there’s a Utopia in store for you and I to shine on…the lies covers up all the lies…the hello’s of yesterday’s tomorrow dismissed the goodbyes of tomorrow’s yesterday…
Tell me why I should get over you…because you’re my saving grace…and just in case you were wondering about me, I’m feeling good enough and I’m under your enchanting spell…then, I look up at your appealing face…
Your face is shining bright when you walk into the spotlight…my heart is beating with upbeat rhythm… your auras are dazzling to stare at…but you're as mysterious as a black, orange and green-eyed cat


Details | Free verse | |

Vacuity

Sinking deep and deeper still
Feelings of weakness becoming my will
In search of answers
To questions I'm too afraid to ask
I look to the future
But can only see the past

Such a strong connection
Or so it once had seemed
But you grew too impatient
To let me catch up to speed

Out of breath
I stopped to rest
And without even noticing
You kept right on going

Suddenly the abandoned
I pined for you, my companion
Satisfaction turned to sadness
My hopes trampled and flattened
I stayed here waiting for you to return
I waited and waited 
And endlessly yearned

Alone I sat in my place of repose
Wondering where all the years 
continued to go
I waited so long 
I became part of the scenery
Blending into the background
It's as if no one really sees me

And as each eternal moment
Fades into the next
I long for you, I long for your love
And sometimes I long for death

It would have to be better than knowing
You could so easily leave me behind
Without even telling me you were going
And giving me a chance to say goodbye


Details | Free verse | |

Ribcage - Unapologetic or Sympathetic - Chapter 3

Subsiding from the morning’s light,
I can’t see the hopes of Tomorrow
I am dealing with stress on a high level, but I’ll stay with you tonight
And wrap you up with adorned glory and put out the fire of sorrow,
Giving us (a heavy load of dread…)x2
I dropped dead (I dropped dead)
Where’s my head!?

Don't strangle me with your tainted love…please see what hope brings 
Don't tangle me up with your heartless hatred
"Don't move a muscle,” she whispers to me as pleasant as a fluttering dove wings
I’ll try to put all of my distrust and apprehension to bed
In the mirror, I drink in my insecurities
(I’m trapped inside your ribcage) x2
Tragedy brews in my blood, there’s no where to hide
I am crucified by your absence of love…
Where’s the love? Buried up above?
Buried up above? (whisper: above…x3)
(I’m trapped inside your ribcage!!!!)
Don’t blink and bite the bullet (Oooh! Oh oh oh oh yeah)
Bite the bullet
See right through it
See right through my pain
Dripping endlessly like acid rain,
Scorching my skin aflame
(Feelin’ this shame x2) without a name
I’m trapped inside your ribcage
You’ll see my despair – 
The throbbing heart can’t bear
The thought of losing you again
(I’m trapped inside your ribcage)
I’ll remain unapologetic 
Until you rescue me from my demise,
That would be so…mesmeric 

Apologies accepted? Light up your wick!
We will hold up our candles (in a chorus of joy x2)
I'm guilty for being so unapologetic
I'll try to be more sympathetic
I’m more than happy to see you shine
Shine effortlessly in the moonlight
I wish you were mine, which would be mighty fine   
Move forward and walk the road of recovery 
I’ll scare away the horrifying night
(The spooky night…devouring the light)
Fear not the arrows, flying in all directions
In the dead of night
Let go of anguish…let go of the past infections
Or you’ll lose touch of delight
And you’ll lose grip of His overflowing might 
I think I’m lost in your paradise
Where you and I used to dwell in mirth 
Lost, but never found - I’m living a hell on Earth 
I’m that bothersome fly that swarms around you – (something you should despise) x2
I’ll erase the bad days and replace them with the good
I would do anything for you…
I would walk on hot coals for you… 
If I had the guts, I would go for it!
Our love is a gold nugget to discover in the soil 
You’re an apple to my eye, 
I will be your shield in battle, you anoint me with olive oil~~~
I won’t let you pass away in the dust
Our love is a sacred, lucky oath – it will never rust


Details | Free verse | |

Love with regret

i can see you even though your miles away
i can feel your smiles in front of my face
i feel my spirit inside me
i feel your lies deciveing 
i feel my spirit leaving me
every tear you cry
every time you beg to die
i cant help but think its all a lie
if our love wasnt true 
what else is there to see threw
pain last a life time
this one thing is true


 me loving you
and you hateing me
is one pain i will live threw
i desereve this world
i desereve loneliness  
why did you rip this from my chest
why dont you just put me to rest
all i have is regret
all i have is hate
i guess one year is too long to wait
i wasnt there when you needed 
again!!!
i guess any man is better than a empty bed
to far gone 
you only lead me along
you stabbed me in the chest
and straight threw the back

one year shows everything he lacked
leave me here
lay me down and stab me threw the back
what you took from me and gave to him is something
that will never ease your pain
for my blood
and my quievering veins
is something that still remains
and you will never consume this side
you where never good enought for sucide.


Details | Free verse | |

Fast Mind In A Dim Room

The room is empty but for shadows
My mirror is reflecting the setting sun
See clearly
How flowers shrink
And the spark is leaving

Targets are in reach
But the mind runs slow
Everything is achieved
And now my skills decay

But the sight is widening
And details appearing
Senses awakening
Even though
The bright is paling


Details | Free verse | |

Hitchike Home

He said
Cut the queer's head off
And put it on that stake,
Line them up on the road
So everyone can see

And he looked without eyes but with
Some diluted hatred for us that
Burned beyond his skin and bone
Into the very fabric of his soul
A fabric that surely feels rough
And broken upon a single scrape
Breaking skin and blood with itself

The men put us on our knees
And they ignored our appease
For we were faggots and
God we were queers 
A beautiful breeze broke
The silence of the desert surround
Like a snake waiting for
The mouse to plunge from safety
Into the mouth of satiation
Sky so blue above that surely
A deeper intent lay beneath
That iced and glazed happiness
I looked but with the moment
On my fleeting time
For my knees burned in the sand
Beside me they took my friends
And they took my family
Arms tied behind naked bodies
Lifted them from the ground
And dug a knife into their throats
One by one by one

Perhaps I didn't cry because
There were no tears left
No water behind the dam
But I think it more likely
Because I was about to die myself
And my head soon to be placed
Upon a stick
Lord of the Queens
Oh but a piece of my mind
Too late to pray now. 

When at last my turn turned up
I pointed my head to the sky
And looked at his face and smile
The knife dripped so slowly
He held it so tightly
And afore I could have the last laugh
He cut my throat and pulled back
Through my spine to the other side

Maybe the last laugh is mine in truth
Because it is I who escaped that
Wretched excuse for a society;
It is I who gets to spend the rest of ever
With my loved ones in the beautiful
And most ever remote desert
Sure we don't talk much
But nowadays who really has anything to
Say 


Details | Free verse | |

Vision of the Past

Stop haunting me
Vision of the past
The one my limbs ache for…
Your host holds a new body
Not one of the same
As the one that always took my breath away
Fallen love
Where have you gone?
Did I kill you when I left?
Sweet caress
Of hopeful promise
Was it I that caused you to break?
In deciding wrong
Did I etch the path of sorrow for myself?
In leaving you
Did I kill the only one kin to my soul?

I cannot love one who is gone
Because of me….
I cannot long for a canvas of perfection
When it was I who wrought the path of decay
What have I done?
With just one mistake…
Broke down what it is I now know I love
Each tear shed
For something no longer bred
For it is I who killed
The last living hope


Details | Free verse | |

THOUGHTS OF PARANOIA

The thought of paranoia spikes my very heart, hoping the mercy of transition will convert the stagnant dream

I contort to conspiracy and withdraw to hollow ground, flushing my veins with contempt

Sweat soaked skin drowns and suffocates, butchering my soul

The cries are deafening but no tears are shed

My fear surrounds, feels without touch, concealing my dreams;

weary of belief, hope scatters against the wind.


Details | Free verse | |

Losing My Mind

You broke my young heart apart…take heart…
The scent of death – I smell the odor seeping out of your mouth…
I cover my nose…I’m feeling down, sucking up my emotional debris
Do you even see the tears rolling out of my eyes? 

Pound to the rhythm of my heart…my heart…   (oooh…oooh…x3)

You really think that I’m a weakling? Didn’t you see my triumphantly soar? 
(I don’t feel sorry for you…you attention whore – why were you the one I 
adore?)
I am not a coward and I am not scared of you – you made me love you
I know my heart is breaking bit by bit, but I’m stronger that I was before 
(I’m not sore anymore – I don’t love you anymore…you hurt me to the core, 
but I opened a new door)
I’m through with you…I gave up on you – you made me weep tears of rue

Pound to the rhythm of my heart…my heart…   (oooh…oooh…x3)

I forgot about me…but I forgive after all
I must stand tall, though my heart is pounding in appall 
You deserted me like a pathetic idiot…I don’t wanna make another foe
I’ve been downright fought, for I’ve been distraught and lost; let the 
blessed breeze blow

Pound to the rhythm of my heart…my heart…   (oooh…oooh…x3)

You were my enemy from the start – you were the devil in sheep’s clothing, 
bud (you’re a disgrace…run this race with me and keep pace!)
You were never, ever my friend, so back off – wipe the blood…the blood 
(off your face..you left me without a trace…I’m receiving vast grace)
Do you get the clue? Do you? I tried to find your other shoe, but I’m losing 
my mind

Pound to the rhythm of my heart…my heart…   (oooh…oooh…x3)

Don’t you dare tell me your hideous lies…
I won’t accept your heartless goodbyes…
No wonder I feel blue, sticking to you like glue 
Being with you…fighting the love flue

Pound to the rhythm of my heart…my heart…   (oooh…oooh…x3)


Details | Free verse | |

People Say

People say the best thing to hold on in life is each other..........
but what they don't know is, if you have no one who will you have to hold on to in life


Details | Free verse | |

Jesus Almighty

Hello friends, frenemies, and foes
I've got some words to say
To the average Joe
There is one road
The road to prosperity
The road to happiness
(haha) Oh no no
You think i'm wrong?
We all are
You, you, you, and you
On the path, you'll find the truth?
Not so
Just lies, hatred, and the deceived
But that road
The road
The only road, is how truly the world is perceived
Through all the greif
The pain
The lies
You still have hope
Hope and faith
You believe the false prophets
You listen to the lies of modern society
You cause pain
You use your impossible idol
As an escape
An excuse
To kill
To steal
To ruin lives
Then on the day
You worship the lies
So next week you will be 
Saved and ready to rape the willing
To take creativity from those who care
You are the evil gypsy of this time
Cheat 
Lie
Steal
You cause pain
WAR
And death in the name of god
In the the name of god
You commit crimes
Adultery
You give lies for profit
You are a false profit 
Spelled with an f
You command the living to be the dead
You hate people who love 
People who care
What do you gain?
Respect?
Money
You are a money hungry hippo
You say Jesus forgives
You say he loves
But he seems evil if you ask the lesser thans
So now
You've heard my words
I thank you for giving me a chance
Thankyou all, friends, frenemies, and foes
And ahmen


Details | Free verse | |

In NEED of a Helping Hand

These chains held me down
For way too long…lend me a – 
A helping hand please (please...please... understand)

I want you close by
D-DON'T YOU U-UNDERSTAND?
In need of your-your... (hel-helping h-hand...)


Details | Free verse | |

Broken Dolls

Broken Dolls

Broken dolls destined to walk alone
A journey under the loveless moon
His sinister intention is to shine too bright
Blinding broken dolls by his light
Dreadfully alone wondering the night

Broken dolls from broken homes
Build broken homes of their own
Homes brining in the rays of loveless light
Revealing the pieces of their broken hearts
Fated to break loved ones hearts along the way
New broken dolls introduced to the lonely night

Broken toys for broken boys
Brings broken dreams void of joy
Broken dolls dreaming with fractured minds
Realities scars, damaged beyond repair
Within his mind he can only see the place
Where sinister moons light voided space

Broken dolls hidden in the trash
Away from loveless rays on loveless nights
The sinister moon and his lonely trails
Finally freed from the loveless grasp
But not before leaving tear stained paths
So all the dolls you broke can find the trash

Broken dolls are meant to walk alone
No more broken children left at home
The loveless nights, the sinister moon
Guaranteeing we will break real soon
Within the sunlight’s hopeful mist
Broken dolls will not be missed

By: Tim Lundmark


Details | Free verse | |

The Men's Room

Today I used the men's room. The light was dim and flickering. My mind wondered a bit, then stopped. I remember the flickering light of a prison cell. I was locked in the basement, you know...the hole. This wasn't like the S.H.U. unit, like you see on reality t.v.. This was like the hell hole you see in fiction movies...ironic. I don't think I even had a matress. Just a cold slab of metal, in a psychotic looking cement cell. No blanket, just tiny, circular wholes in a steel door forced me to strain my vision. I could barely make out images behind the opaque, frosted window across the hall. An insane, younger man, in the next cell over yelled, screamed and spat on his only visitor...the psychiatrist. Twenty-three hours and forty-five minutes a day locked in a cement cell with a flickering light. They let me out fifteen minutes a day to walk and/or use the phone. There were maybe five cells on the tier (the hallway). I passed by all five and was handled a reciever through steel bars. How did I do this to myself? How did I make decisions wrong enough to put me in this position. I was there only a week, then transported to segregation.  Seg...this was where they sent you for causing infractions during your time within the prison. I was put in a cell with an asian gang member. The guy looked like a felon.  All tatted up, his face, his arms. One of the nicest guys I met during my time there...also very ironic. He taught me how to "fish" with string torn from a matress or socks. We pulled in food, cigaretts,  all types of things we weren't supposed to have. This might sound entertaining, like I was having fun, but it was the exact opposite. I was bipolar and didn't know. I was getting arrested on a regular basis until eventually I stood in front of a superior court judge who offered my attorney my first plea...twenty years in a state penitentiary.  By the mercy and grace of God I didn't do the twenty years. I actually did very little time, because it was my first adult offense. I was detained in some way for a total of nineteen months. This was my first major incident. I got out, went back, got out, went back. Finally, I was diagnosed as bipolar and prescribed medication.  Unfortunately,  I was so used to acting crazy that it took a while for the meds to level me out. In all honesty, sometimes I say crazy shit, but I never want to see that fickering light again. 


Details | Free verse | |

Without wings here I stay

Without wings here I stay 

On broken wings 
I try to fly
My hardest to reach heaven
In the blue painted skies
The more I attempt 
The more I fail
I fall each time
Laying on the ground
My pride is hurt
Laying here in the dirt
Where did I go wrong?
Is this the punishment? 
I know I deserve it
For a life of sin
My life story where shall I begin
Leading myself astray 
While I am on my knees perhaps I should pray
Ask for a second chance
A third chance
A fourth chance
I lost count of the chances I have been given
So when it is my time to fly
Access will be denied
I must find a new way home
Before the gates close
And I am left on the outside looking in
Dirty from this life
Bathe in this sin
Free choices I have made
Shall I lay down my hopes and desires?
Before taking a dip in the lake of fire


Details | Free verse | |

Perfect Canvas of Demise

A canvas smile of beauty
Prescience of delicate ease
What disruption could have done this?
Brought her to her knees
Once so strong
With Medusa's wrath
Now a frail Villa
Forgotten how to sing the song of the past
Losing a hold of time
Becoming lost in the marsh
Rejecting the light
Now resting in the dark
What happened to her soul?
Her aura of shimmering might
Now hidden behind retched scars
What made her loath her life?
She has grown mute
Hiding her precious voice, so sweet
Resigning in the company of the Dead
What made her give in to defeat?
It was he, the ghost of love
The reaper of the soul
He drank her tears
And he tore at her heart
Weaker now she slowly grows
On her knees she pleads
She could have wished for her life away
But instead she wished for a night of peace
In the darkness she still bleeds
Dreaming of her dying day 


Details | Free verse | |

Hate Me

Don't look at me.
Don't touch me.
My body is numb.
My mind is gone.

Don't talk to me.
Don't kiss me.
I'm incapable to love.
I'm stuck against the wall.

Don't come near me.
My blood has been spilt.
Just hate me now,
and leave me alone.

Hate me now,
For you will never have me as your own.


Details | Free verse | |

Christmas at Christchurch

I feel translucent 
	a man of marble skin 
	as if dreaming my motions 
	every step a tread in water
	each reach of my hand 
	a ghost grip touches 
	but nothing holds and yet 
	I clutch these stones and 
	iron spear barricades 
	as a sea-snail would the bedrock 
	for this is my folly 
	to hug close the masonry of charity 

	I feel nothing 
	no remorse runs down my arms 
	to my useless wrists 
	no rage 
	twists my mouth into rabid snarl 
	no pleasure lifts my face 
	from the footfalls 
	of those celestial beings 
	bustling above

	not even a soaked black wall 
	on which I am a shadow 
	penetrates my deadened hide 

	I feel grotesque 
	I am a gargoyle of flesh and bone 
	sown into the fabric of these 
	towers with closed doorways 
	that form broken arch homes 
	for broken things 
	but 

	no longer am I broken 
	I have embraced 
	the cold and hunger 
	of my mouth and my soul 
	I am free of this place 

	Yet 

	here I am still 
	here for you to see 
	if you can stomach 
	to see me 

From The Pagan Field (print 1996, eBook 2013) available FREE until 15 Nov. at 
http://www.amazon.com/The-Pagan-Field-extended-E-ebook/dp/B00F395DAU



Details | Free verse | |

More

Last night I cried myself to sleep
I don’t remember what I was crying for
Or who I was cryin for
Maybe it was for you
Or maybe it was for me 
Last night I wanted to die
Not really die
But die
I don’t know
 I feel like I shouldn’t say that
Or think that 
Last night I was alone in bed
The pieces that remain of me scattered on the sheets
And the tape beside me
But I couldn’t seem to put the remaining’s of me back together
Last night I thought of you
Last night I thought of me
Last night 
I had wonderful dreams
Last night 
The dreams just became nightmares
Last night I cried myself to sleep
I cried 
And 
I cried
This morning
I look at the stained filled pillow
I stared the the tape beside me
And the pieces that remain on my bed 
Didn’t seem so broken
I got up and I went to work
Wishing that last never happen
This morning with that smile on my face 
You would never see the pain from the night before
This morning I keep living
Tonight Ill cry some more


Details | Free verse | |

Sing

Sing

Singing alone
A voice at the mercy of desire
Singing alone
On a lonely bed
Singing alone
In memory of herself
She sings alone
Suffering
With a song to prove it


Details | Free verse | |

Watchmaker

Somewhere a watch is heard;
Riding the waves as the gears turn.
Echoes within ripples, never ends. 
The waves splash, the shore bends. 

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock..
 
The freeze of the past, a misty rain. 
Forever here to last, memories reign. 

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock..

Seconds viciously tearing, ripping;  
Away at my mind chipping, daring. 
To be at a loss, to be frozen. 
Between my gums a piece of floss, 
Fragile teeth cracking; broken. 

Tick-tock, tick-tock.. 

Condensation icy on its face;
Its hands angry and shaking in place. 
Screaming as minutes fade, 
Dripping water; ripples made.  

Tick-tock..

Life in time - this tomb of mine.

Tick..


Details | Free verse | |

Wired Life

Cut the rope, cut the tie, 
No more need to cry. 
Cut the rope, cut the lies,
Everyone around you dies. 

Cut the rope, cut the tie, 
What a mess, my, my. 
But the rope, cut the wire,
I'll burn you in the fire. 

I'm tired of this wired life, 
Just stab it with a knife. 
Just let it go, 
No one will know...


Details | Free verse | |

Inception: Sprinkle Salt and Pepper upon my Distasteful Flavor - Collab with Mikey part 1

The roof’s the limit, hon, sorry – I can’t change the rules nor can I mask the night with delight that will let you down in the aftermath…
So, stop throwing your two-year-old fits…once again, darkness will come upon you, but you must shun it out with the light’s wrath
I don’t wanna feel this ache in my bones
Don’t wanna feel this ache in my bones
I don’t wanna feel for you anymore
I don’t wanna feel tortured or ignored
If you loved me, why don’t you show it?
If you need me, why didn’t you say so in the first place?
I was left behind in the dust of my past – that wasn’t so sublime..
And then…all of the sudden, you thought me a waste of time
If only you saw my shine
If only you saw my shine
I thought you were truly mine
It’s a crime to steal you from that other guy
But, that’s alright with me – I gave it my best try
Pound to the rhythm of my heart
P-p-p-pound to the rhythm of my heart
Pound to the rhythm of my
Pound to the rhythm of my
Pound to the rhythm of my heart
Don’t utter those cruel words in my ears
They ran me over for countless years
I thought to myself - these starlit scars will never heal, unless God sprinkles salt and pepper upon my distasteful flavor...erase the pain that hits me to the core...yet, you were the one that I-I adore!
Well, now, on second thought, I don't LOVE you anymore...
The moment you closed the door, I slammed my face against the cold, merciless floor...I dreamt of dreams I longed to explore
What is in store? Tell me now...what is in store now?
I thought I could take on anything
I thought you were my everything
You are crawling in my veins…
I should’ve had the brains
To let go of the fickle infatuations I felt towards you
Oh, silly me – now, I’m a lover alone, feeling awfully blue
I thought to myself - these starlit scars will never heal, unless God sprinkles salt and pepper upon my distasteful flavor...erase the pain that hits me to the core...yet, you were the one that I-I adore!
Memories of you now haunt me; I was so blind
You never truly cared and you'd leave me behind
When you went away, my sunny day turned to grey
I know in my heart you had to go, but I still wanted you to stay
Why must all of our lives be so tragic in this heartbreaking way
The one you opened to tactlessly stole all that I held dear from every opened pore
Deliver me from sorrow's hold...
Putting my high spirits in chains…
For now, I’m in this captivity, yearning for someone to hold
Fear hits me straight in the heart…pangs of pains…
Pangs of pains – all I can possibly do is will the pain away
Somehow…someday, I’ll save myself from the ruins of today
I thought to myself - these starlit scars will never heal, unless God sprinkles salt and pepper upon my distasteful flavor...erase the pain that hits me to the core...yet, you were the one that I-I adore!
You said you wanted me but you just took advantage of me and stepped all over me as if I was that mat,
Placed near the front door of bright opportunities…melt away my frozen frightfulness – ice of isolation ate me up as if I was a rat in the stomach of a feisty, famished cat
You’re the one that’s tearing apart and our love bond was nothing but a ridiculous myth in the first place
Tragedy, the wolf in sheep’s clothing, hunted me down like prey…I couldn’t keep pace with you…you left me without a trace
Like an arrow at nightfall, you seemed to be drawing nearer to your bull’s eye…I witnessed your glory-ardent spirits take flight 
I thought to myself - these starlit scars will never heal, unless God sprinkles salt and pepper upon my distasteful flavor...erase the pain that hits me to the core...yet, you were the one that pushed me to open up the corridor of victory – I was fighting confrontations and I’ve been attempting to see what my future has in store; if you haven’t been nearby, I would’ve overlooked it as if it was another damaging door…there’s no point in exploring, for I’ve found my place and it’s above the cold, cold floor
 I’m hoping you and I could soar and depart from the disaster, disorder and debris...the dim light of society blanketed the nostalgic night…what’s the point of falling in love with a dream of you and I flying triumphantly and happy-go-luckily like two entangled kites...at this present time, I wonder why, oh why can’t we shine bright?


Details | Free verse | |

Electric Hum

The electric hum never stops
Even when the lights are dark
And my thoughts are unleashed
To traverse every known world.
An undeserved sentence from
Those not any the wiser
Has sent me here, this
Blazing sterile, white tiled room
Where the darkest dreams are
Born and feed upon my mind
To become stronger, stealthier
Eradicable by white coated, gloved
And booted whispering shadows
Void of emotion; only professionalism.
My home, having known nothing 
More since forever ago, cold
Without comfort and ever present
Is that awful electric hum.


Details | Free verse | |

To My Beloved, Bitten By A Bee

How pity! How tingly! How niggling to hear!
Ah! Some lousy bee has bitten you!
That delicate muscle of your upper-arm,
While on your house’s roof, leaving clothes to dry!
Have you rubbed over with knife and thrown the stinger out?
Have you applied an onion over or still not! 
Oh! How ugly, how atrocious the bee bad,
Must in shame deplore, on her dirty deed!
How oafish she, how shameless she,
Hurt an elegant lady! Bit her flowery skin!
Does it still swell, does it still burn?
Oh no! Let me do not know it; for it will raise my missing you more!
Just take care of, like I myself would:
Rubbing, kissing and cuddling—close!


Details | Free verse | |

CHILL Out

I hear arguments getting set off time and time again... I'm stuck in the lion's den This big guy needs to chill out Commotion...echoes... I hear fireworks boom - (besides, it's almost 4th of July!) Disputes should be dropp'd for good!
I shouldn't be the one talking though! I need you now, Oh Lord of Accord . . . Way more than anything on Earth - You give me mere mirth I need your support To dismiss Y-YESTERDAY'S gahhrief How much am I worth, God? Naught? Am I your priceless tool or not? Don't leave me to rot... I must ch-chill out - I almost forgot! Give me a rea-reason To o-overcome the world of w-woe's weight on me I can't carry this heavy load on my shoulders anymore Put my mind at ease and help me to chillax for a time Kick back and let a-accord seep through you - that would be so sublime The waves of e-emotions are targeting me, shooting me down with glares and frowns... Friends come and go...I'm down in the dumps...th-th-this world is so corrupt and i- it's like a scary ride with loops, ups, downs, and spirals.. . . ...... .. . .. Every season, new friends appear and then disappear All of the sudden, I'm tasting the fretful fire of fear Oh...awkward moments - I MUST HAVE SELF-CONTROL AND PATIENCE...to slowly drift away from this enchanting, yet deceiving trance - I m-must pull up my pants I need to seek repentance and CHILL OUT...throughout this circumstance...and just d-d-dance... There's times when I need to breathe in and out Breathe in and out without a breath of doubt Let me see the light at the end of the cave I'm in grave...grave danger...I m-must be b-brave


Details | Free verse | |

America Comedian

Not yet having become an American saint,
The past eagle-pine traveler
Is no longer here have the splendor in blue,

No longer here have the wind-bells
Ringing in hope and superior
Just as a ghost rider over our memory
It is claiming itself as silly comedians.


Details | Free verse | |

Nearing My End - Everything's Black and White

Pre-chorus: I thought your grass was green…I’m hopeless… (Oh funny, I 
thought you were a good person…I was there for you through thick and thin – 
you do not love me anymore) 
I’m through with you...you…tonight…I long for God’s light (to shed on me…we 
were in content & we were pleasant)
Chorus: Ahhhh….Stop being a tease…
Ahhhh….Being a tease…(my heart broke into two)
Ahhhh….Here’s a wound to mend
Ahhhh….Please, put my mind at ease
Ahhhh….You don’t see me, nearing my end…
Ahhhh….Nearing my end…(you’re left without a clue)
Pre-chorus #2: You turned out to be so mean…you were so heartless… (you 
make me feel like nothin’…make me feel like someone…somethin’ – your words 
pierced me like a pin on the floor)
I’m not haunted by your callous night…don’t pick a fight (with me…we were 
innocent like a newborn infant)

Give me a couple of good reasons
Why you do the things you without any reasons
You hate me – it’s crystal clear now
I still love you – I’ll save you from death somehow

Give me an excuse or a reason
To overcome these waves of emotions
Friends come and go like season to season
Dealing with vile clashing commotions

Pre-chorus: I thought your grass was green…I’m hopeless… (Oh funny, I 
thought you were a good person…I was there for you through thick and thin – 
you do not love me anymore) 
I’m through with you...you…tonight…I long for God’s light (to shed on me…we 
were in content & we were pleasant)
Chorus: Ahhhh….Stop being a tease…
Ahhhh….Being a tease…(my heart broke into two)


Details | Free verse | |

War with God

so angry, disheartened by a roll of a dice,
when you take them you take a piece of me, slice by slice,
when you take my son, my family and friends,
you know your taking a piece of my life, when will this end,
how much and who else will you take, how much more will i weep,
i asked you last night to please take me in my sleep,
what have i done to make me suffer like this,
have to fight everyday and night, when will i find my bliss,
maybe im selfish, thinking the world revolves around me,
to me this is personal, my loved ones i bereave,
you want to fight, for me to fight back, i give up, take me.......


Details | Free verse | |

Death's Gentle Sigh

His body still warm,
our brother lay still,
his face set in perfect repose,
the echo of our voices
lifted in hymn, fading
like the rattle of death
in those closing days
before the last soft breath.

I wanted to watch his spirit rise,
reaching upward toward
the prize his faith had earned.
I had to be content
with a tender touch
and unspoken words of farewell,
bathed in tears of longing
to share his final journey.



Details | Free verse | |

Evian

Crumbling with grief I saw you. 
Back turned, shoulders hunched 
and sobbing for your lost love. 
He had left you and he said he 
never would, his departure sudden. 

Through smiles and tears you told 
me of the warmth you shared - me 
a stranger, yet stranger no more 
as the story of your love evolved. 
You touched my soul, you touch me still. 

You unburdened you heart to me. 
Grief once locked away now liberated, 
free to be expressed and tumbling out 
willingly, so glad to escape its prison. 
My hand, my heart reached out to you 

beautiful lady wracked in pain. 
You felt guilt and feared you'd neglected 
him some way?  Yet from your words it 
was clear no rebuff, no sin had been 
committed, the purity of love was all I saw, 

and see now when I think of you and he. 
You were his wife in all but name. 
You saw him as he was and allowed him 
to take off the mask of responsibility. 
To enjoy simplicity, the reality of love. 

The rest was shallow, immaterial 
in comparison, a gilded mask of deception. 
His truth was you, the rest a lie, a 
carefully staged production performed on 
an illusionary stage for cosmetic audience. 

The real grief is yours as was the real love. 
What a gift you gave him and he returned to you. 
So lovely lady feel no guilt, feel only 
joy at what you shared, for some can only 
ever dream of caring as you cared. 
  


Details | Free verse | |

Erosion

Grief erodes him softly from the inside out
It doesn’t scream, it doesn’t shout
Like a silent gas it seeps and permeates
Forming a cloak over his usual state
Infiltrating the inner being
It’s host unknowing and unseeing
Anger rages back and forth
Throwing its host’s life off course

The external eye cannot see
the inner war or causality
Where once stood an upright soul
Grief has twisted it around a ragged pole
He thinks he knows, but he cannot feel
As grief is the thief that makes life unreal

Will it swallow him alive?
Surely he must be the one to survive!
His companion begs to ask –

Will he be the man he was before this arrived?
Or will grief be too successful in its task?

These questions remain unanswered
As grief is forever the silent dancer
It does not care to share its mission
To release the pain that started this endless frission…..


Details | Free verse | |

Turn the Wheel

I’ve figured out that I’ve been lying to myself 
Leaving all of my worries in the top shelf
The thud in my heart – it isn’t that reassuring 
Don’t inhale the flames in your burning heart…
Or you’ll hurt yourself
Don’t come across the icky fumes of fire-feeding lies 
Your gaze locks into my own – 
I’m still subject to your suffering 
I’m slowly dying…though I’ll keep trying 
Absolutely no one in the world can stop me from subsiding
You have a beautiful soul, 
At first glance, I noticed your angelic features, 
Decorated eloquently in your affectionate eyes
Do you abide with the peace-abiding angels?
You are more precious than posh, rare jewels . . . 

~~Chorus~~

Give me a chance to overcome 
These waves of emotions
Understand my situation 
Don’t pay attention to the commotion 
I see you in secret, 
Skipping with pride and unspoiled vitality 
While I’m… frozen forever 
Livin’ this life guilt-free is impossible in my case…
Save me from the monsters, spewing out sinister lies 

~~~~~~~

Your screams fail to reach my ears
You won’t hear me cry aloud
These tears were bottled up inside for years
I just wanna scream out loud! 
 
Turn the wheel in my mind’s eye – I’m overflowing with guilt and horror – 
Don’t let the tide of terror sweep over me with woe
Open wide your mouth 
Let me fill it in with words of pure, inviting insight, 
Not distasteful remorse


Details | Free verse | |

God, Mary and Jesus

Can a good person give his lover grief 
If he himself possesses all the powers? 
Can a good person make his lover mortal 
If he himself is immortal? 
Can a good person deprive his son of a lover 
For many years 
If he himself has a lover? 
Can a good person deprive his son 
Of enough power, wealth and prestige 
For many years 
If he himself has all that? 
And so forth.

There are many people still now
Who do not give grief to their lovers! 
There are many people still now
Who sacrifice their lives for their lovers! 
There are many people still now
Who arrange marriage of their infants! 
There are many people still now
Who give many of their belongings to their children! 
There are many people still now
Who sacrifice their lives for their children! 
Is God a bad person then? 

There are many people still now
Who have more than one lover! 
There are many people still now
Who have more than one child! 
Does God lack sufficient amount of love? 
Is there no other girl who loves God? 
Does God dislike children? 
If one son is enough for God, 
What about a daughter?

Holy Spirit is no one else but Angel Gabriel
In the Holy Koran He is sometimes called Ruh 
Which means Soul or Spirit
Because he is so near and dear to God's body 

So please, don’t say, More than One; 
There’s only one God.


Details | Free verse | |

The Cost

Wonderin' why...hmm...
I feel uncomfortable
I wander...off...why?
Waitin' for somethin'
I need a friend to talk to
Hiding in my shell
I am…so lost though!
I say hello to you 
I am…so scared – the price, the cost
Is too high! I-I have an excuse!
I am so low…
As low as the underground can go
I say what’s up to you? 
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
No reply . . . 
I am ignored, but I’ve accepted it as normal
Reality can get so cruel – but, I must stand tall
Stand tall, David, you must stand tall and give it your all
Give it your all and try not to fall 
Call on Him if you feel like your heart’s in appall 
He won’t reject your prayer at all . . . 
The price…the cost of my sins is too much to pay up in one day
I-I have an excuse – 
My heart has been thumping with dismay
I was a new kid, making up several excuses almost everyday 
I was struggling in school several times – it’s the bothering truth, reducing me to tears of dread
I was alone and had no one to rely on – that abominable lie in my head! I feel rather…dead


Details | Free verse | |

new lease

Communication break down for several months 
who knows why i am unsure i don't question the trials of others its not meant 
for me to know. I take the still frame in my mind of this insight time. Destiny 
and life crossed our path of communication once again all i can do is praise the 
fact. You bring something different this round your baggage you have 
dropped. A goal in mind with a can do attitude what else could be more 
pleasing to some one looking into innerworkings like me. Something to pay 
attention to and keep breathe into this new opportunity life has threw at me. 
Maybe i am a wishful thinker maybe i am a dreamer i am unsure really maybe i 
am just to blind to the big picture. All one can do is hope and have faith of a 
better tomorrow. One must work in the lighting to rest in the sunshine. Life 
seems to be a on going storm of emotion and feeling. As we work to better 
our selfs . I some times wonder am i fighting the monster of life or the monster 
inside of myself. Indifferently i would just like to resolve my demon.  I am a 
strong individual i have to be with the person i am the people who surround me 
the weaker souls in need of a hand while there hanging on the edge of the cliff 
of petie bullshit to them its the catastrophic demise of the world. Still i offer 
wonder who or what do i need to complete the puzzle i ponder. I am nothing 
as i use to be,i am a different creature a different cult in my personality  i have 
over come many bumps in the road been the saving grace in many stories,still i 
have a desire for a reason a desire to begin a new chapter in life a chapter of 
me and my story and my beginning  living knowing myself and knowing where i 
belong. So the anthem speaks tonight i shall keep walking that line. In hopes 
one day i will know why.


Details | Free verse | |

Oblivion

I explained it in my oblivion
Expressions of hurt that fill time and space 
That are in route with a collision course into my soul.
In my oblivion, I posses no energy and feel emptiness 
Rhythms of my heart speak no more and my tears are thirsty
I am only a shell of what I once was and what I could have been.
Loneliness has taken over the happiness that once filled my spirit
And now this part of life which has caught me in its web exists in my oblivion.


Details | Free verse | |

Courage

When he left her after so many years
People asked where he got the courage
When all he felt like was a rat who’d gnawed off his own leg
So he wouldn’t starve to death in the mousetrap

The cheese that’d smelled so good he couldn’t resist
Was poisoned and now, there he was with a crushed leg
Waiting to die and be thrown in the garbage. With the cheese
So, he began to chew……


Details | Free verse | |

Silent Wars - Repair My Broken Dreams

We all need some sort of loving…
Give me all you got
Give me your best shot
Dance to the rhythm of my heart
I can’t pretend this loneliness doesn’t exist
It don’t matter anymore
Weep no more, beloved…I loved you from the beginning of time
Weep no more, sad fountains…I adore you more than life itself
Weep no more and instead, repair my broken dreams and let’s spend time with 
each other – that, to me, is sublime
Weep no more, peace-abiding angel! You’re beautiful from every angle – don’t hurt 
yourself…

*chorus* 
Don’t start another World War with your silent wars…
Our friendship bond is getting weaker…I must find a cure
To this heartache and help me, for heaven’s sake!
I’m breaking by the seams
Repair my broken dreams
Repair my broken dreams
Repair my shattered dreams
Repair my shattered dreams
We’re on each other’s team
Do you still have low self-esteem?
Don’t you feel like giving up sometimes?

Love is pure beauty
You have a hard heart…a cold, cold heart
What are you living for?
What are you fighting for?
Some say I’ll never meet my lover at first sight
I’ve been dreaming of you forever…
You were my endeavor…
I dreamt of you every night I fell asleep
My dream of reality is the golden wheat I gaily reap 
I’m not walking through the Weeping Meadows – I run away from the tragedies in 
life…I keep running oh so fast
Nor am I looking back my reflections…my shadows of the past – I cast away the 
ghosts of my wicked past and pray my happiness will never last


Details | Free verse | |

Nearing My End - Stop Being a Tease

Chorus: Ahhhh….Stop being a tease… Ahhhh….Being a tease…(my heart broke into two) Ahhhh….Here’s a wound to mend Ahhhh….Please, put my mind at ease Ahhhh….You don’t see me, nearing my end… Ahhhh….Nearing my end…(you’re left without a clue) Pre-chorus #2: You turned out to be so mean…you were so heartless… (you make me feel like nothin’…make me feel like someone…somethin’ – your words pierced me like a pin on the floor) I’m not haunted by your callous night…don’t pick a fight (with me…we were innocent like a newborn infant) Pre-chorus: I thought your grass was green…I’m hopeless… (Oh funny, I thought you were a good person…I was there for you through thick and thin – you do not love me anymore) I’m through with you...you…tonight…I long for God’s light (to shed on me…we were in content & we were pleasant) Chorus: Ahhhh….Stop being a tease… Ahhhh….Being a tease…(my heart broke into two) Ahhhh….Here’s a wound to mend Ahhhh….Please, put my mind at ease Ahhhh….You don’t see me, nearing my end… Ahhhh….Nearing my end…(you’re left without a clue) Pre-chorus #2: You turned out to be so mean…you were so heartless… (you make me feel like nothin’…make me feel like someone…somethin’ – your words pierced me like a pin on the floor) I’m not haunted by your callous night…don’t pick a fight (with me…we were innocent like a newborn infant) Who made up all of the rules? Why did you use me like those worthless tools? I’m sorry that I hurt you to the extreme But, you ruined my self-esteem Give me an excuse or a reason To overcome these waves of emotions Friends come and go like season to season Dealing with vile clashing commotions


Details | Free verse | |

Inception: Lighten Up my Load - Collab with Mikey part 7

I esteem your presence
Glowing with glee 
At times, you do say things without thinking 
I’m the god of distress – 
You’re leaving me breathless 
Cutting me down like I’m some decaying tree
You don’t see how much you make me…
Guilty for your crimes
Taking the blame about a hundredth time 
Oh baby, I won't be buying into your product of pleasure beyond measure...
Your kind of love was a curse from the very beginning, not a therapeutic remedy or a cure
To be honest, you are a waste of time and downright worthless...
All I can do, at the time, was cherish our time spent together, for it was remarkably priceless.
You were brought back to life and renewed faith, hope and love!
Thank the Lord of Accord you came back to me
You told me that you were ensnared by stranger ravens and crafty little crows; I earnestly prayed that you’d be safe and sound, for you were my one and only exquisite, snow-white dove
you helped me cope with the dreadful storms of the deep and you pushed me to trek the mountains of exhilarating heights through the luminous days – I was drenched in my own sweat
But, I recall what you’ve said to me a few years back:
“There is a rainbow after a rainstorm…there is glory and prosperity of plenty after struggling through the debris of melancholy” – I was carrying loads and loads of anguish and apprehension that has piled upon me forever it seemed; you really lightened up my load, though there were days that were dry and wet
Bringing me back to what I once was – the beautiful leaf-abundant tree
Once again, I am reawakening from my damaging depression that triggered destruction in my mindset – now, I’m entering an instructive, priceless, constructive phase of life…a brand new season – I’m alive! Now, it’s time to thrive and I’m feeling the bottomless sensation to uproot me free
Your job is to water me thoroughly and daily – 
Can’t you see that I was growing triumphantly and favorably? 
Try with all your might…try your best
To stay optimistic and fervent 
I believe that you’ll pass the test
Be upbeat, kindhearted and jubilant  
I appreciate the words you wrote on my notebook…
Sometimes, I feel like leftovers left on the counter…
I’m a rotten mess – you’re leaving me as if I’m an uninteresting book 
Sometimes, I feel like a coward – I don’t mean to bother…
I won’t cower when I see you, reaching to heaven’s height above the sky-scrapers – I would rather have you in power
Remember this – success is like milk in the refrigerator – after a week or two, it becomes sour and loses its scrumptious flavor by the hour
So, do me a favor, oh Lord of Accord and give me miracles and gifts that I can afford
And sprinkle salt and pepper upon my distasteful flavor – does that ring a chord?
He healed me from the boredom disease
He put my heart, mind, body, mind and spirits at ease
Please…oh please…
Uproot me free
And let me sway with the blessed breeze – I pray that we will stand tall through it all and catch us when we fall
Together, in unison, we will embrace the wings of fantastic flight and keenly flee during nightfall
And…if you need a few sheets of paper to right on, 
Use me like a notebook instead…and write with all your might
It seems as if you read me…like a book that drags on and on…yesterday is gone, so look forward to tomorrow’s dawn 
Use me as your tool of relaxation… and read me all night  
I’ll tattoo lines of priceless delight
I’ll be your coping mechanism all day and night
So, please don’t be afraid, for God is near
Have no fear, for God’s Kingdom is almost here
Steer you way towards rapturous, rapid streams of hope, cleansing away any trace of humiliation and fear   
When morbid thoughts enter your brain,
I pray that your train
Of thought gets on track, so that you can refrain
From driving your mind insane…affirmative assurance if what you need now and forever…this will help you remain sane for a while longer and it will drive away the remorse’s rain!
When you wrote those words of elated, selfless, kindhearted words in my notebook…
It made my day…you’re such a delight 
Like reading a fascinating, classic book…you got me hooked with your nursery rhymes…you enchanted me with your attitude of gratitude and just by your mere look
You lit up my day…you lifted me higher than a kite
Thank the Lord of Accord that I sought the light at the end of the abyss-swarming tunnel
I fell into the arms of peace-abiding angels and ran away from the chaos-brewing devils
The wolves in sheep’s clothing…was trying to sugarcoat their hate with love
But, I know the difference between a hideous, vulgar vulture and a pure white, serene dove!


Details | Free verse | |

Silent

Don't know how it happened
All I know is that it's real
It feels surreal
I'm losing her more and more
With every second that we don't speak
Speak!
Why not speak?
Mostly because she don't care
She never cared of your feelings
The hurtful-ness that she shared
Two words is all we ask
But silence
She said that she didn't want to speak to me
Don't want to know me anymore
Confused and hurt
By her torturous words
I said **** it
And left through the door
Cried my eyes out
Not believing a word she said
Knowing we'll be in touch soon
And knowing never again
Don't call me
Don't ask for me
Don't beg me
Don't grasp for me
I have to move on from you
No more I ask of you
You pushed me away
Now fight and sink like a battleship
I float away
I drown and swim in sorrow
I die without you
You die without me
A love we once knew
A love again will never be


Details | Free verse | |

complications

my summer love 

is up for interpretation

red rose petals dying

deeper day-dreaming

and other 

complications

my summer love

loves summer

more than me

dead

red

rose 

petals

but what about me?

and what about this love?

it is dying..

it is all dying - all of it

all of me..



deeper

day-dreaming

I'm drowning

no..

I'm dreading 

these days

and other complications


you know I am not a confident lover..


Details | Free verse | |

Ribcage - You're Stronger Than You Realize - Chapter 1

Hiding in my solitary cave,
I can’t undo my past mistakes 
I regret it oh so much, but I’ll be brave
And face the penalties for my sins
And my spirit breaks

Abiding in the foggy night,
I can’t see the light in goodbye
I am feeling so upset and shady, but I’ll shine bright 
And embrace the sunlight of freedom,
Giving me a natural high 

Without you, I see my true colors 
In the mirror, I drink in my insecurities
(Whisper: I’m trapped inside your ribcage)
I see who you are in the inside 
Tragedy brews in my blood, there’s no where to hide
No where to hide…
(I’m trapped inside your ribcage)
Don’t blink and bite the bullet
See right through it
See right through it
See right through my pain
(I’m trapped inside your ribcage)
You’ll see my despair – 
The throbbing heart can’t bear
The thought of losing you again
(I’m trapped inside your ribcage)
I’ll remain unapologetic 
Until you rescue me from my demise,
That would be so…epic

Holding on to you for support,
I can’t survive without you by my side
I will lose several times, but I’ll win and escort 
You to the road of eternal life and eternal happiness
You and I will enjoy this bumpy ride

Split apart your ribcage, 
Open up the corridor, and let me come in 
Uneasiness instantly strikes through me 
Let me sway away... 
Let me flutter away... 
Like a butterfly out of its cocoon  
I'm trapped! Let me depart  

You’re stronger than you realize
But, my strength is immeasurable 
I’m a tough guy in disguise 
I will never, ever be instable
Or caught off guard! 
I’m a positive, yet outlandish bard!
Let me go! Departure from me, you sad, sad clouds 
Holding in melancholy, 
Blanketing me with shrouds
Shrouds of despondency 
Let me welcome the sun,
So I can be a light of the world like His son

Split apart your ribcage, 
Unwrap me, let me go! 
Believe me...reflect on me 
Let me sway away...flutter away 
Let us both seek the sun, 
So we can grow together once more


Details | Free verse | |

METRONOME

It ticks , ticks , ticks like a clock
          I am nine and I know
it demands something 
          but what ? am I suppose to rush to do ?
It sits on the piano
     and demands my attention
but my attention has long since gone elsewhere
          at three I would have listened
          my fingers would have danced to its beat
but I'm now nine and the time
         that has demanded my attention
has been filled with distance , distrust
     abuse , and the insistence of law
do this , don't do that , don't talk
     don't run , just walk
absolutely absolutely DON'T TALK
          at three I heard the music
                    at nine music no longer exists
in my life , only for those who could hear it 
in my life the tick tick tick
     means far more than rhythm
it means if I don't get this something 
done RIGHT NOW I can expect something
                   very unpleasant 
Here that tick means time 
          and what must "get" accomplished
no rhythm and it's glorious dance 
          a poetry of tones
          a dance of resonance 
like the clear ripples in a pond
and one note , one stone  , can move
          everything in it's path
But life here is one solid stone wall
          unmovable , cold , stone
nothing I know at this age 
          can transform stone
          into a resonating energy
that can complete the cosmos I live in
          So , yes I had one recital 
and rejected the metronomes influence
          timing may be everything
But I am human
          and I must account for it
                at my own speed

Nov 2014 C Michael Miller
Poetry of Providence


Details | Free verse | |

Sunflowers

Constant reminders
Pin-prick my heart
Till I bleed out
Melt down quietly
Alone
No one notices
Try to regain calm
A tentative hold
Easily broken
Disquiet
No one to bleed the toxin
Clean the wound
Allow for healing
Instead it silently
Festers


Details | Free verse | |

Madness thoughts

I numb myself everyday and night.  I struggle to stay alive.. Drugs will numb me, alcohol will follow, mixed together it helps.  Ease the sorrow, mistakes I make everyday. I want to be me before my life was changed. My mind is gone, I want to remember how my life was before, can't understand why I'm so low. Hate In my heart love is no where near, what do I do? Do i Keep moving on? Maybe it's up to me. I'm shut off to the world and the people all around, if they can only see I'm good inside its just a bad time for me right now. Look deeper inside my eyes and maybe you will realize I'm crying inside its hard for me to reach out. Life has been hard and I can barely stay awake but my mind keeps going and going its a nightmare for me but I'm wide awake.


Details | Free verse | |

What star

Under what bright star did our fate fall
that we could arise so swiftly, loving,
chasing this sweet path that seemed
to be so distant, so impossible,
that to conceive of it was only folly.

From what fertile garden grew our lot,  
that we've bloomed into such passion,
tasting again the sweet fruits that when lost,
had left us parched and starving,
our lips dried and bodies hungering.

Out of which rich sea has our destiny risen,
that we should be riding these happy waves, 
feeling again the simple joys we lived before
we'd sank, unable to swim against that tide,
 drowning in the deepest ocean of loss.

From whence did this love come
and by what great justice was it
granted to us, two people needing, 
waiting, wanting, for this love, this gift,
this sweet miracle that we've found. 
 
What star?


Details | Free verse | |

Grief

It hurts. All of it hurts.
The tears that burn my eyes,
and run hot down my face,
Scorching flesh.
The sobs that wrack my body,
And bend and crack my ribs,
I can't breathe.
Curled in the same position,
My muscles seize and ache,
Pre-death rigor mortis,
I cannot move.
All of this because of my grief.
Such a powerful emotion that 
Affects a person's whole self,
It obscures even love.


Details | Free verse | |

HERO

Deliver to the wolves 

What clean hands you keep 

Emotionally empty 

No existence of love 

when hatred runs so deep 

  

Obviously oblivious 

Understandably suspicious 

Keep aiming and baiting 

While it is the reasoning she misses 

  

No other option 

Or excuse, nor circumstancial exception 

Mistakes and accomplishment 

Decorate the path we keep taking 

And talking and cannot listen 

Stumble far from intentions 

  

Insanely asinine 

Incompresensabley common 

Cowardly comments, and critical judgments 

You are all weak and pathetic 

More horror than Human. 

I hope for your suffering 

While contributing nothing. 
And standing in ruin. 


end 

May 2nd 2009


Details | Free verse | |

Daddy's No More

Daddy’s No More
	
Anger is the virus that devours at our soul
Inevitable we will be alone
I reach out for the sense to belong
The house is quite everyone is gone
An unnerving sense of sadness runs up our leg
Alone at last! He shouts his victory dance
Regret and tears run down his cheek
Searching rooms hopeful to hear a voice
The anger left them no choice
He collapses on the stairs clutching his memories
He feels no remorse 
He longs for a hug
Daddy’s no more


By: Tim Lundmark


Details | Free verse | |

The Inception: God is Alwayz Good -part 3-

The mask of shame has made me the monster…must, like Shrek,
I transform into a handsome man momentarily…but I’m a nervous wreck
Rinse away the blood of the innocent 
From your hands…
Grand lands fight against each other…I weep some more
Understand…that change is a challenging chore
Look up at the sky…
Your gaze will fixate on the shooting stars tonight
Give me the will to fly
Was I ever handsome in God’s eyes? When will I take…take…
When will I take flight?
That same lame rage suffocates me softly…
Rinse away the fear, clinging on to your skin…
Refrain from losing hope, sister – someday, you’ll shine on
Where have you been, happiness? Come on in…
Wake up and drink the coffee of your favorite cravings…
Forget about the cravings that crucified me…don’t cover up for me…
I’ll prove to God that I’m not a weakling and that sin will be demolished forever…
Rinse away the blood of the innocent 
From your hands…
Grand lands fight against each other…I weep some more
Understand…that change is a challenging chore
Look up at the sky…
Your gaze will fixate on the shooting stars tonight
Give me the will to fly
Was I ever handsome in God’s eyes? When will I – I mean – we take…take…
When will we take flight? 
Rake the leaves of distraction and cut out the weeds of ever-growing greeds
I understand how it feels to be lost in the callous night of our fears…
Our abominable decisions we foolishly made in life…
We welcome the sun with open arms…fall into the arms of peace-abiding angels and put on your faith gears – I’ll do the same and I will not shed any more tears
Life is not always success and fortune – tragedy cuts us like a jagged knife
Innocence mends our wounds again
Let life’s arduous journey begin
Our infections will heal – 
He will make us whole…we’ll tread the Road of His 
We’ve been led astray…all night and day
But, this world is no better than us…so don’t just sit there and fuss
Someday…w-we won’t feel this dismay; we’ll rise like the dawn of today
But, first – let us reap what we sow right now…don’t worry – we’re on the same bus…
One day, the sky won’t be the shade of gray…I pray that we’ll fly away
The thief in the night will not steal our happiness away
However, the fairies are jealous of our wings…what can we say?
We Are Speechless…Breathless – Not In Distress…
So Priceless…according to the Lord of Accord
We Are No Longer Labeled As Helpless…Hopeless…
P-poor People That Long To Be, well, Adored…
Rinse away the filth from your face 
Try to keep pace…while I run this race
Grand lands fight against each other…I weep some more
Understand…that change is a challenging chore
God promised peace…
So, please…oh please…
Don’t lose hope in Him…
Don’t let our lights dim
Chaos brews on…
But we’ll shine bright like the precious dawn
Look up at the sun…
Your gaze will fixate on the angelic halos of the sunset
There’s nowhere to run…
Were you ever beautiful in God’s eyes? When will you take…take…
When will you take wing? Perhaps tonight?
Let’s just wait until the night
Gets illuminated…and then, we’ll be free…soon, He’ll sprinkle upon us grace
We’ll be one with sky like a kite…
Well, let us get ready…to be free in space, for we are no longer stuck in place


Details | Free verse | |

Nearing My End - Hit the Brakes

Ahhhh….Here’s a wound to mend
Ahhhh….Please, put my mind at ease
Ahhhh….You don’t see me, nearing my end…
Ahhhh….Nearing my end…(you’re left without a clue)
Pre-chorus #2: You turned out to be so mean…you were so heartless… (you 
make me feel like nothin’…make me feel like someone…somethin’ – your words 
pierced me like a pin on the floor)
I’m not haunted by your callous night…don’t pick a fight (with me…we were 
innocent like a newborn infant)

I feel this strange insecurity & hopelessness
Why are you looking for traumatizing troubles and countless commotions?
Give me a second to breathe in and out & step out of the abyss
The tears are drowning my eyes…is there any healing potions?

Give me an excuse or a reason
To overcome these waves of emotions
Stop making me feel sorry for your mistakes
Stop blaming me for your crimes..your terrible crimes
I’m not guilty for your wrongs or your lies – hit the brakes!
I’ve paid the price and rolled the dice countless times


Details | Free verse | |

Withered Hope

At first sight, her dark, 
innocent beauty captivated 
the spirited young redhead. 
They lived, loved, breathed 
through eight births 
and one death, baby Loretta.

Spine stiffened, she watched 
her love lowered six feet 
into the bitterroot soil,
her thickened body numb, 
her mind in time warp. 

She tasted gritty ashes,
unable to crush the stone 
lodged within her breast.
 
Children clung to her skirts
like baby opossums fastened
to their mother's skin. 


Details | Free verse | |

The Face of the Buddha

(Note: this poem was originally published online under my pen name, Nolo Segundo, at bostonpoetrymagazine.com)


They haunt me still,
the brown children laughing,
always laughing....
The women voluptuous,
languid,
their movement an invitation.

Even the traffic policeman,
crisp, clean in uniform,
moving with ballerina grace
as hordes of cyclos and mopeds
and the occasional automobile
pirouette endlessly about him,
impatient bees made quiescent
by surreal beauty of white-gloved arms
cutting through thick tropical air.

Everywhere was grace, gentleness--
temples incandescent at dawn,
with ant trails of orange-robed monks
cradling their pot-belly begging bowls.
The patient women standing by the road
to lump rice into the begging bowls,
the monks always staring blankly ahead
until the women bowed low in reverence,
grateful their gift of life was taken.

And how wondrous it was:
an accident in the street, yet no anger,
no bile--forgiveness, felt before thought,
thought before uttered.

How could such a people murder?
No, not murder-- slaughter!
Their mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles,
teachers, priests, friends and children too.
Change temples of peace
into charnel-houses?
Schools of knowledge
into abattoirs?

They photographed every butchered lamb,
like the devil's children on holiday,
and decorated the classroom walls,
a show-and-tell of horror and despair.

Why? Why?
Why such pain on such gentle people?
Why did God hide His face
while the world turned its back?

Forty,forty,forty years and still--
still they haunt me. 



Details | Free verse | |

Mine Light

I remember but try to forget, forget the pain that burns,
such a burning pain on the inside where thoughts
begin, where my body aches a pain so strong to
where no man comes but the light that is shed,
sheds with such a light so bright and such a 
heavenly sensation, that brightens the mood
where the body is light, has no pain, alleviated, 
where you can run, the adrenaline overcomes,
overcomes and becomes when the light, dear light
shines on me, in me and is shed to others non similar,
similar non to mine and mine forever it is, but the light
was never mine, mine it is indeed not, but of another,
I try to forget, forget the pain that burns so, so badly...


Details | Free verse | |

Good-bye Phil

Goodbye, Phil
Why die, Phil?
Now we all cry, Phil
Your greatness, Phil, in not tainted
Most could recognize
Your paintings, prize
But who could see behind those eyes?
Writers’ group did
When you put pen to paper you took off the lid
For your soul I will bid
To send you to heaven I vote
As long as there’s enough black paint 
I hope
And endless canvasses
And to criticism just say “nope”
Unless it’s constructive
And not reductive
You deserve the best
Kind and gentle to the rest
No favorites did you have 
Yet with you gone our hearts need a salve
Your light permeated my life
I just pray you are now free from all your strife
You are special, Phill
One hundred percent you, Phil
No one can replace you, Phil
I love you too, Phil


Details | Free verse | |

Somnambulist

after the sky drops. 
The walking corpses come out 
the veil of night masks 
the decay 
the rot 
of humanity 
Plague of the earth. 

Found from the ashes 
My phoenix we bled 

Has she ever 
thought love between 
us, inside 
 her, filled up an empty bed. 

No longer bereft, 
somnolence 
and love drowns my head. 

Convalescent 
Bemire emotion 
 I wash and rinse 
what is left, 
asking what we are 
if no longer 
dead? 

Gold from lead. 
The lifting sky 

Our connubial affair. 
The truths, I face, 
we share, 
She Said. 
"when will it die?" 
closing empty space 


A diffident devotion 
Within her embrace 
a softly recited 
poem unread 

berceuse 
tantric lullaby 
healing the blighted 

fading destiny to refuse 
to claim or to lose. 
An onus I malinger.. 
to choose. 
  
Execration 
of an inner fatalist 
hopeless abuse.   

Quantum entanglement 
schismatic resentment 
prepossessed 
inspiring  muse 
of the alchemists 

A bibulous creation 
intimate turpitude. 
sovereignty 
asunder this hell 
her orbit with abaddon. 

Dissolution 
her need to dispel 
incertitude. 
Inordinate. 
Gravity well 
collapsing in on itself 
eternal 
infinite



end



PLEASE COMMENT!!

 CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK, (pos. or neg.) CRITIQUES, OR ANY SUGGESTIONS 
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describe the feelings or ideas my poem invoked or left in feeling or thought.
Even on word. is better than none. Thank you


Details | Free verse | |

Inception: Double Doubts' Drought - Collab with Mikey part 3

Highly prized hopes lift up the hopeless, the needy, and the helpless again and again
When will the weight of fire on my bleeding heart be extinguished?
I wish that’d happen someday…I pray that joy will prey upon me someday…
I promise you, darling, that we’ll have the blessed breeze blow serenity our way…
The trees of tranquility lead us to ecstasy next to sea…
Our heart, mind and soul will be at ease…I wish you the best in life if you run away…
From my arms; you sway like the breeze, but that’s okay! 
Baby, just promise me you’ll not stray so far; I need to know if you’re okay...
And please don’t go, 
I want you to stay and let the wicked wind blow
Away the air of anxiety
We’ll be set free from our captivity 
We both wanted love to feel right…we wanted to be accepted…we wanted to be embraced with one-of-a-kind affection…
The passions, pounding pleasurably into our mind’s tranquil eye…we didn’t know our foolishness was another form of corruption…
Sprinkle salt and pepper upon my distasteful flavor…my piece was in pieces, but you pieced me together 
Savor the moment of blissful mishap and painstaking peace – your blazing with radiance and you’re as unpredictable and mind-blowing like the weather 
Say goodbye to bliss that once said its vows to me...my heart is throbbing with endless fright...
Strife is knitting in every verse…I lost my train of thought, feeling worthless, but that’s nothing new…
My soul is crying out for your attention…there’s a hole in my contrite heart; though shame embraced me long ago, I’m still willing to search around for your other shoe…
Let’s face it – you're just another abominable sin, making me feel vulnerable and downcast…are you a sheep in wolf’s clothing? The truth is becoming black and white…
You were my black long hearse,
Running me over with your cold-blooded ignorance…
No one or anything in this wretched world ever felt much worse…baleful dilemmas start to rehearse (double doubts and abhorred avarice; but, nevertheless – there’s more grand land to explore) 
I was twirling around in my sugar-coated trance…
I caught a glimpse at you, daydreaming relentlessly; you are a graceful gift, not a corrupt curse (that sends guilt into my numbed noggin… I’m no longer kissing the abyss; in other words, the sentiments of hopelessness doesn’t intimidate me anymore)
I am cursed...a heart like mine is broken...dark angel, sorrow is not the answer...so rehearse...our exquisite love oath…we welcome the halo-shaped sun…the dazzling, astonishing auras, surrounding your body, deflating and inflating like a kid’s red balloon…
You dragged me down to your level with your heartless judgment...love didn't arrive at my doorstep
You are the predator and I’m the victim
You are the executioner and I’m the man, tied up to the chair
GET A GRIP....
SIP...satisfy your taste buds with happiness and dip
Into the R I V E R of my crystal clear tears…where happiness RIP
Deliver us from bondage and reassure me that my inner peace will stay with me forever
Disappear…
Fear 
That chases away my precious positivity 
Reappear, 
Fearlessness 
That suffocates my repulsive negativity 
I will be praying that today His Healing Rain will wash away my throbbing pain, 
For I’ve been doused in dismay…I wish upon a star to see you shine all the way, despite you concealing scars of the past shame of handling billions of blames that drives you insane
Double doubts break the bones of the few million genuine, passion-scorching and dynamic men


Details | Free verse | |

The Inception: God is Alwayz Good -part 2-

Was I ever handsome in God’s eyes? When will I take…take…
When will I take flight?
I’m counting the days to see you fly so gracefully…in the aqua-blue sky
I can’t wait to see you take wing and embrace the sun rays
My heart has been reduced to tears many-a-time…my love, why…oh why…
Take my hand…give yourself a rest from the worries of countless yesterdays
I can’t bear the thought of you, losing grip of reality
Your eyes are bottling up tears of the years of pain-staking regrets
Glory crowns the Lord of Accord…we need to look up to Him one way…
Or another…I won’t bother to open up another door of disappointment
Yet, I have this need to say sorry to Him for neglecting His word today…
Rinse away the blood of the innocent 
From your hands…
Grand lands fight against each other…I weep some more
Understand…that change is a challenging chore
Look up at the sky…
Your gaze will fixate on the shooting stars tonight
Give me the will to fly
Was I ever handsome in God’s eyes? When will I take…take…
When will I take flight?
I got so mad…I-I got so impatient...I got so out of control, obviously losing control…I got so tired…of facing the fact that I’ve been out of place, stuck in place, frozen in place…until God set me free and made me free His star in space…I’m free…wearing sunlit glee…no longer wearing an upside down smile…God, thank you for allowing me to run the extra mile…please stay for awhile…I’m sorry that I-I gave up…I gave in to my addiction…I’m ashamed and naked now…drowning in never-ending sorrow seas…I don’t regret the reason why I love you, Lord of Accord – come back to me…come back to me…I didn’t mean to stomp over You like a mat…I was fattened way too much by sins and pleasures of this life…the disdainful, confuzzling past drove me insane…I can’t bear this burden anymore…I need to let go and stop bringing you down…come back to me…come back to me…I’m as needy as a new-born infant…
I need to drink the milk of Your spirit…nourish me with Your pure Words of WiSdOm
 Rinse away the blood of the innocent 
From your hands…
Grand lands fight against each other…I weep some more
Understand…that change is a challenging chore
Look up at the sky…
Your gaze will fixate on the shooting stars tonight
Give me the will to fly
Was I ever handsome in God’s eyes? When will I take…take…
When will I take flight?
I believe I have the answer behind being bewildered in my maze…
…Okay…the reason I let You down is because I haven’t been faithful to You at all…and gave in to the lusts of committing adultery…and I languish…I languish…I reckon Your words…but I haven’t kept them to heart, yet I’ll meet up to Your standards one way or another – but failure is all I knew all of my life…I was alone for so many years…set me free… set me free…leave me be, sins…sins…my young heart weeps insanely…I’m beating myself up for the mistakes I made in the past – if only I haven’t laid my eyes on scenes that consist of sex….I shouldn’t have done that…I’ve been chained to this apprehension and these pangs of pain that lead me to my inner distruction for oh so long…but I must let it go…and let the knowledge repeat in my heart forevermore…I’ll learn it by heart
Rinse away the blood of the innocent 
From your hands…
Grand lands fight against each other…I weep some more
Understand…that change is a challenging chore
Look up at the sky…
Your gaze will fixate on the shooting stars tonight
Give me the will to fly
Was I ever handsome in God’s eyes? When will I take…take…
When will I take flight?
I need to dismiss the distractions…
I need to quit feeding the fire 
I thought sex was a beautiful art…it somewhat fulfilled my satisfactions…
Of my heartless desire…desire…
PUT OUT THE FIRE….
I’ll say my prayers as the chorus of screams bleed through my mind’s eye
I call shotgun…drive the car, Lord of Accord – restore peace to my verse, drive me to the lane of Your Holy Spirit and its blissful blessings of plenty…miracles and curses have hit me in every corner…I rely on you, Driver…I love you, Father…Father…Father… I hope you can forgive me for all of the things I’ve done…I’ve tried to throw away these anxieties…that banged at my skull…crack open my writing abilities and let my inspiration unleash itself
I rest my head on Your pillow…but I got to get dressed and clean up
Rinse away the blood of the innocent 
From your hands…
Grand lands fight against each other…I weep some more
Understand…that change is a challenging chore
Look up at the sky…
Your gaze will fixate on the shooting stars tonight
Give me the will to fly
Was I ever handsome in God’s eyes? When will I take…take…
When will I take flight?
You made me strong enough and I feel Your love toughen me up and clothe me…you know…let your affectionate heart grow and let your light show
I wish I could’ve gone with the flow…
Let Your healings show…I know…I’m worthless and slow…
Retarded…unlovable…tainted with lies…my mind’s overflowing with negativity and low self-esteem comments…I was that icon of self-indulgence as Amy Lee sings in her song entitled Everybody’s Fool in that epic band by the name of Evanescence


Details | Free verse | |

Frigid waters

He watched her die from a measured distance;
carefully calibrated and guaranteed to keep the
anguish from reaching his throat with its
steely fingers and choking the remaining
compassion out of his cowardly body

Sharp eyes still taking in the carnage despite
the geographical buffer; keen ears recording the 
groans and words of regret across the coaxial moat; 
soul silently feeling the judgment being passed and
sentence being executed

From this frigid place, separated by an icy sea of tears,
across the frozen wasteland of old regrets,
deep below the tundra of disappointments,
fossilized in the permafrost of a broken heart,
he coldly watched her die 


Details | Free verse | |

Grief

 
Grief

Lest not to drown
Into an inch of grief oh my heart, 
Here I am training you to joy! 
 
Every day I am training you, 
in order to (sun glitter) rejoice! 

In order for the (dew of the rose / home /
Lover / friend / city /river and the sea...) 
rejoice! 
 
Every day I am training you, 
So why my back's bow, from the grief 
Oh my small heart?

Written by © Fatima Nusairat


Details | Free verse | |

Grief

Drip drop drip drop;
red in the snow.

A soul emerged without its light 
worn, torn and tired.

Under a facade of a smile; 
hiding a want and desire.

A relief from its torment;
Nothingness is all it hears.

How easy a heart can wither
with each hurtful word.

Under ballads that play and echo
to tunes which break the spirit.

Unlocking a silent passage 
of hopelessness and grief.



Details | Free verse | |

Remorseless Waters

Salt filled air bites at my senses
as water from above
and below
intertwine,
woven together
in intense immersion with
an imminent addition
to the ocean's continuing collection
of structures,
made of the forests' dead
and
interlacing spines
from branches
given no chance to reach up,
to grow.
Now only to be resting
miles below their home,
standing meekly against the current
of the deep,
rather than the breeze.
Saturated skies echo sadness
from the sea,
while man's eye only grazed
upon the shore
before
remorseless waters' waves
tumble and pull to
underwater graves.
But still,
the sharp coldness of
the evening sky's drippings
set free the day's warm,
dense remnants
of sun clinging to air.
The mist dissolves
and the waves rest.


Details | Free verse | |

Mean Mrs Ess

The heart, mired in the thick black sauce
Beats less for love but rapid with deceit
A craggy instrument that lacks the elegance,
Of the newborn 

Awakened each day to seek new meat
To thrust upon and ensnare
Her waking and ending thoughts
Seek to tarnish the golden rule

Mrs. Ess, you are a sight to sea, and see, and si
The hair on the hairless, rise to heaven
While those of us in your presence
Seek a shadow to hide and peek not


Details | Free verse | |

After the Storm.

When the howling winds still
    And the raging waters ebb
     I become an empty vessel  desolate  and lost 
    A broken  compass with no direction.
    All that’s left are empty hearts
    Straying along the darkest path
    as gloom and grief wear us down
   for  loved ones buried underground.
   Corpses strewn all around
    Women, men, children all 
    Yet I was spared.
    Wailing and weeping fill the air
    Why then was I left to bare
    a pain so deep ...why didn’t I also die.
   Then out of the darkness I hear a sound
   louder than the wailing cries
   a keening cry  that fills the air  
   louder than the cries I hear
    urgent and compelling … the call  to prayer.    
   Then in spite of all  my pain and grief  
   Among all the debris in the streets
  I kneel with weary souls to pray                                                     
 To profess my trust once more     
 To submit to and adore 
the One who gave me life 
 The only One to  re-claim my life ... In His own time . 
  Maybe I was spared, after all  
 Maybe I was left behind   
Maybe I’ve been given more time
to make amends for the wrongs I’ve  done
 To make things right before I die
To be a living example of 
                                             His shining Light .


Details | Free verse | |

Sad Goodbye

It was early morn when my arms still around her chest
Couldn’t let go for I know I’ll be gone at eight or less
We sat on a bench I felt her embrace with might
We stayed like this arms in arms talked about days gone right

I’ve asked a porter to take a picture of us
So if grief builds I’ll just look the picture of us
Time is near but she said stay so I stayed for a time
I’ve wished for that moment slowed and time to be mine

But it never did, never was

We were like couples and lovers but never be
We are friends but more than a couple or lovers
We love each other but couldn’t be lovers
For we are best of friends and this is a Goodbye

I look at her thought how to live without her shine
A Tear fell from me she notice and tears filled her too
I wiped her tears and hug her “I’m going” I said
She hug me even tighter “I’ll miss you” she said

With a kiss in the lips, in tears I’ve walked away
I didn’t looked back for my heart wanted to stay
The plane took off and grief of sorrow filled my soul
Though I’ve dried my tears my heart will forever cry