I stood on a hill and screamed for peace...
Lost in the noise were friends that teased...
A mask that hides what's wrong and right...
Too many stones thrown that blinded my sight...
Wolves that prowled with a sheeps face and a devils soul...
Crept slowly in the dark where the truth was never told...
My cape is wrinkled and torn and bloodied from the day...
A battle well fought where being right lost its way...
Then left with a heart with blood still there to drain...
No need to ask the question, I'd do it all over again...
I don't write stories, I don't write make believe... I write what's in Me.... Michael
My shallow waters have failed to hide
the deeper agony pulsating inside.
I could forgive your lies but not forget.
Do you have remorse, do you feel regret?
Feelings were buried in a shallow grave
as we failed to mend the love God gave.
You failed to speak and I failed to listen,
Fingers are pale where golden bands once glistened.
Broken hearts called to each other refusing to bend.
Not so long ago, I called you my best friend.
Now, I'm left to grieve my failed marriage.
The love we shared, your words disparaged.
I could forgive your lies but not forget.
Where is your remorse or display of regret?
I can no longer burden myself with this shame.
Standing tall, I have given my sorrow a name.
I struggled to save our once happy home,
but you chipped it away when you decided to roam.
So goodbye I shout to you and to failure!
Moving forward, your love is no longer my cure.
My life is becoming a new adventure,
and memories of your face are becoming a blur.
Yes, I could have forgiven your lies, tried to forget,
if your heart felt remorse or just a little regret.
* a work of fiction
For Nailed or Failed Contest (Black Eyed Susan)
One Toy Soldier
Little toy soldiers are all put away
Training is over for this time of day.
Where do these little boys go now to play?
Away from their home to die in the fray.
Little toy weapons are no longer there
But boxed in attics by mothers with care--
Where keepsakes still hold a lock of his hair--
While rockets and missles challenge his fare.
Little toy bad guys and little toy good
Haze in the distance when misunderstood.
Where fall the lilies on long crates of wood
And each gave their all--as good soldiers should...
Little toy soldiers are coming back home...
Mothers are weeping, laments all alone
Where flags lie folded--the gift of Shalom...
As the long box is lowered...'neath the loam
One little toy soldier is placed on the top
Remembering All--so that None be Forgot.
I stare in the mirror, my tears fall in vain
Can’t see my reflection through the veil of this pain.
Who is this person I struggle to see?
I don’t want to judge her but it’s surely not me.
This stranger I cast looks so tired and weak,
I wish I could help her but I’m frightened to speak.
Cause it’s dark and lonely in this shell where I’m bound
Where once there was laughter, is now void of sound.
and the beauty I knew in just yesterday’s time,
seems gone in an an instant with life’s rythym and rhyme…..
Then GOD he spoke child…What do you mean?
You’re more beautiful than anything that I’ve ever seen!
The reflection you cast it don’t matter to me,
What matters is that you can see what I see.
That your spirit is filled with a breath that is true.
And a beauty so deep that this world can’t undo.
I know that your journey seems to heavy to bear.
But I’ve given you family that love and who care.
So hold on tight through the dips and the turns,
For the ones who believe are the precious who learns.
And wether your journey is to stay here or go,
Please know I love you so much more than you know.
I wish I could tell you the beauty that awaits…
But you will know only, when you see heavens gates.
Wandering past the boundaries of his small reservation,
Crescent Moon saw the land of his ancestors’ generation.
Tales handed down spoke of vast plains where buffalo used to roam,
but plains had become cities, animals had found a new home.
Most of the creatures had been captured, tagged and placed into zoos;
Anger coursed through Crescent Moon’s veins as tears from his eyes did ooze.
Tribal leaders had told him that the sky was once a bright blue,
but now smog was so thick that only faint rays of sun pierced through.
Seeing mountains in the distance, he pursued a vision quest
taking him through streets that were once the great forests of the West.
Snowy peaks he finally reached, but they were lined by ski resorts.
Fire burned in him, knowing beauty had been sacrificed for sports.
As he climbed over peaks to view a river flowing below,
he saw only tainted waters that caused his anger to grow.
Sadly, slowly, he made his way back to the reservation,
knowing there was no way to reverse what the white man had done.
Although others had adjusted to life in captivity,
he’d no longer participate in tribal festivity.
Instead he made his home in a cave behind a waterfall,
to envision his land as it once was, not a shopping mall.
*Entry for Francine’s “A Nature Tale” contest.
By Carolyn Devonshire, September 30, 2011
Introduction: Our real problem is, "Will we ever be able to learn who our true,
real self really is?" Being true to and with ourselves is that thing which is the
most important in the makeup of our whole mental mind as well as balance.
The suicide death of Robin Williams and a comment about living behind a
mask made by an Isle of Man beauty have served as the inspiration for writing
Our True, Real Self
It may change time to time and is in constant flight,
And of the fact, we should never, ever lose sight
That God is true and for us His huge help is here;
Believe in and always know He is close ad near.
Many times God, myself, I so often will ask:
" Why am I wearing and behind a mental mask?"
Trying to hide true self and me that You made,
Who often loved so simply to sit in the shade.
My life is over and done which was much fun;
I am a memory for my fans who won't forget me
And free at last in heaven, a far better place to be;
Where again someday, you can laugh along with me.
James Thomas Horn
173 Shadowood Court SE
Bolivia, NC 28422
Email address: email@example.com
www.poetrysoup.com Poem of the Day
for August 16, 2014
On a slope graced with green
White marble stands in proud salute
For beneath these engraved pillars of memory
Lie the resting places of heroes
A solitary green fir looks down
As if sheltering the lost and the taken
So many names, from all walks of life
A father, brother a girlfriend or wife
On a sunny day, they glow radiant like their lives
On a dull day, they stand out against the greys
For the living, life goes on
Tomorrow is another day
Pulling back my broken heart
Before you can finish tearing it apart
Now I am finally beginning to see
That you never meant to love me
Desire for me is not nearly enough
Why should leaving you be so tough
Your sweet ways and masculine charms
Won’t keep me happy in your arms
Love is needed, love is required
Without love, my heart grows tired
Of waiting for you to say to me
I love you as you love me
What will I do to slowly end
This love affair with my dear friend
Our weekends together will happen less
My phone calls will be less frequent, I guess
No longer will you hear from me
How deep my love for you can be
Fewer kisses and cuddles and late nights
You say you’re not ready, I guess that’s right
My goodbye will be so very slow
I will be gone before you even know
That we could have had it all, my dear
If falling for me wasn’t your biggest fear
I'm sorry that I'm always sad,
That I do things to make you mad.
I'm sorry that I've lost my hope,
I'm sorry for the ways I cope.
I'm sorry that I bring you down,
I'm sorry that I make you frown.
I swear to God that you must believe,
I love you more than you can see.
I'm sorry that my heart is dying,
I swear to you that I've been trying.
I'm sorry that I cannot see,
much future left in front of me.
I'm sorry that I'm so depressed,
I realy know that I'm a mess.
Writing this note's made me see,
Just how much hurt I've made you grieve.
I'm so disgusted with myself,
I'm so damn bad for your good health.
I know that It's hard to admit,
I've made this such a long hard trip.
I feel like I have ruined your heart,
Like I have torn you all apart.
I have a question for you dear,
And, yes, your answere I do fear.
You said that you missed her big picture,
When you saw, you changed your fixture.
For your sake, love, please look at mine,
Before your heart's put on the line.
I'm sorry that I'm so impatient,
I'm just afraid life's not worth waiting.
I really don't want you to leave,
I want for us to both believe.
I want to once again find hope,
But it will be hard on my own.
But then again if I'm too much,
I don't want to kill all your love.
I'm sorry for the ways I fight,
I'm sorry that I dim your light.
I'm sorry I'm so negative,
That I am so competative.
I'm sorry that I'm so outrageous,
I'm sorry my hurt's so contagious.
I don't want to see your heart eache,
Cuz when I do my heart it breaks.
I'm sorry that I'm not so strong,
But you inspire my hearts song.
I'm not alone cuz now I see,
Your light that's shining just for me.
I'm sorry that I'm up and down,
But, Dear, You win the patience crown.
My love for you's so strong, please see,
A fire burns for you in in me.
I know that It's hard to believe,
But God will help us, just you see.
Tearing time into a token
broken words of wisdom spoken
on a cinder closely cleaving
burning on as you are leaving
brush me off your sleeve like powder
must I scream a little louder?
Can't you hear me ,can't you feel me?
ribbons black as you unreel me.
all the visions in my head
of everything you did and said
now you laugh and say goodbye..............
don't turn around to watch me die.
(for a friend)
Every since we went together,
You've been on my mind.
I care about you so much,
I just can't leave you behind.
Your smile, your laugh, your personality--heart
Seeing you makes me think about what we should have had from the start.
After all the lying, arguing, and crying,
I wanted to be with you so I kept trying.
I think I'm holding on to you because we never had serious love,
We're suppose to be as close as 2 matching gloves.
Letting other females take you away was the wrong move,
If you want me back, you have a lot to prove.
All I wanted was for you to be real with me,
But all you did was lie.
I lay down at night and I always wondered why.
Someday I will accept the fact that we're not meant to be,
I always wanted the key to your heart but you never gave me the key.
I gave you my all, but I guess that wasn't good enough...
I Cant Change the Way You Feel.
You say you want me to be free,
but really you just don't want me.
Now i'm drowning in my pain,
standing in the pouring rain.
How this fell apart is such a shame.
You made this in to some game.
You were just in it because you had some thing to gain.
Your lies are driving me insane.
A woman shattered the night, with her agonizing scream
Sacrificing her might has dawned realization of a dream.
She has given me a wonderful heir, to bear my name
And left her sweet memories, for the spirits not wane.
The air is fresh, mornings crisp and clear
God I do love this time of year
Vibrant colors abound on the trees
Gracefully falling with the breeze
The workday runs from sun to sun
Until the "Bringing in of the crops" is done
I am a lucky man to live this life
Respect of my community and loving wife
Sometimes in life the land yields plenty
The blessings throughout the day are many
As I watch the sunrise to the east
It gives my soul a spiritual feast
For all my friends everywhere
To my Lord a silent prayer
To the north her majesty appears
For all to see beautiful and clear
Forever snowcapped and standing tall
Lady Shasta watches over all
To the south another blessing to see
The Sutter Buttes clouded in mystery
It was the Lord that gave them their birth
The shortest mountain range on earth
The coastal mountains to the west
Offers the sun a place to rest
Followed shortly for all to see
The "Harvest Moon" clear as can be
Then comes a moment that is hard
As I head my "Cat" off to the yard
My final ride of this year
My face accepts a single tear
My heart becomes full of sorrow
I inject myself with poison tomorrow
Thats the price that a junkie must pay
Years after he has changed his way
The reason is very clear to see
I put myself "At risk" to hepatitis C
I can't stop the fear from flooding in
What will it be like to hold a rig again
Through all the loss and all the gain
I reckon that moment will bring me pain
But through the pain I'm able to see
God has his angels covering me
Pushed aside, location of home obscured, limited by isolation:
drifting aimlessly - subscribing to a voluntary incarceration.
Outcast by an alternative perspective, a differing sense of direction,
through a desire to develop resolutions to numerable imperfections.
Others recede into bad habits - shirking from every challenge,
placing emphasis on ignoring responsibilities; yet expecting a life that’s lavish.
So it’s hardly surprising when their dreams fall by the wayside,
having taken the easy road too often, they’re fighting against a landslide
to recuperate what was lost, or rather thrown away by being lax and care-free,
they’ve imposed upon themselves a limit, as to what they can achieve.
Armed with the powerful weapon of fore-sight, I clawed myself out of the rut,
but it’s little consolation for having to watch my friends get stuck.
Trying to avoid a patronising tone, I conceal myself into anonymity -
uninspired by foolish games, approaching every overture with timidity.
Wanting to tell them to change, to realise their mistakes,
but sometimes things are hardest to see when they stare you in the face.
It’s their life to live, and do so how they wish -
I just pray they realise: there’s more to it then “getting pissed”.
I sit and think what could have been
a life with Joey, my best friend.
The many things we could have shared,
The special way he showed he cared.
At age fourteen he stood six foot five
Was big and strong and so alive.
Why wasn’t I there that fateful day
To try and save his life some way?
I had no way to say goodbye,
Why did he go, why did he die?
At first I blamed my God for this,
For taking him, the life he’ll miss.
But since I’ve come to understand,
It wasn’t God but the fault of man.
The careless company that took him away,
Should be made to suffer, made to pay.
I’m still so mad it hurts inside,
I miss him so, I feel deprived!
It’s so unfair he died so young
Not knowing what he could become.
Now he’s gone and I’ll never know
How life could be with my “Best Bud Joe”.
Hop right on my back
turtle slow and green skinned bark
A journey to tag every bit left of nature
it's something I know that you can't help but do...
We'll pass up the river here soon on the right
The fish live in bubbles and cry in the night
You'll catch them with words that you've wanted to say
I'll take you there now but can't show you the way
Then we'll pass Jaw Dropping Junction and Turn
where the fork in the forest continues to burn
You'll see every mother who's lost every child
Prepare yourself now, for the fires gone wild
We'll take a left there (Watch your eyes in the smoke)
to the plateau of kindness where someone once spoke
and commenced planting saplings, to bridge to the moon
We'll reach there by morning, or latest, by noon
We'll dine with the remnants of Frick and of Frack
(the tribe of white elephant twins and their pack)
They'll trumpet of oceans gone under the sea
They'll laugh when I tell them that they can be free
For they have been sentinels long since the fire
and they'll not give up, or saunter, or tire
They hold great conferences up in Malloo
where they talk about me and they talk about you
Perhaps every human, who sets out to trod
by the skin of his birth, with no notion to laud
the immeasurable gift of all animal kin
should consider these words, somewhere deep there within:
The animals know us - they know every name
and they'd never destroy us, though we'd do the same
But one day, we'll pay for each folly and crime
with an internal conscience, do plenty hard time
One look at an orphan, grasping for breath
One ocean in oil, polluted with death
will break us with feeling and kill us in kind
for think of this thought, somewhere deep in your mind:
We're breathing the air that the animals breathe.
We take and we take and they hardly receive.
The clocks winding down and we've something to do
and that something begins here with me and with you
Sometimes, life isn't always how
It looks at first. It's all better now.
I felt so overwhelmed by the world's demands,
But I feel better knowing she understands.
I no longer have to regret the things I've said.
I know now that I can move on instead.
I felt as if I was without that thing I could never find.
Now I'm back in my body and back in my mind.
I found that moment where my world was bright.
I found that the sky's still blue and my world's alright.
Loves are loves, traitors are traitors, but family is always there.
Now I can look nearer for someone to care.
I hope that everyone can be like me and find shelter from the rain.
Love, family, friends, help, anything to help fight against your pain.
Silence and deaf ears.
Sad times and many tears.
Friends and family so relieving.
Eyes and hearts in me believing.
Times of trial hard to recover.
No time or love from another.
Welcoming arms and open hearts.
Help and comfort and a new start.
Take these things and piece me together.
Take away the bad things and I'll feel better.
Haven't you needed this yourself?
Will you add to it or will you help?
Hold me close and never leave.
Keep the puzzle together and you'll be an important piece.
I had a crazy dream last night
In it you were holding me tight
Loving me with all of your might
Oh, baby it felt so right
I woke up to find you gone
You have left me here all alone
Gotta learn to live on my own
Lost the sweetest love I’ve ever known
Sleep escaped me after my dream
Tossing and turning every way it seems
Guess I didn’t fit into your scheme
This hurts even my self-esteem
Saw your face each time I closed my eyes
Every night since you said your goodbyes
Your leaving caught me by surprise
Feels as if it will be my demise
Promised myself not to cry any more
Didn’t know that would be such a chore
Your leaving has rocked me to my core
Now the lonely tears have begun to pour
Dawn came on a new day
The fifth since you went away
Lord, help me make it, I prayed
Wish I didn’t feel like I was betrayed
Two empty arms aching to hold you
Two soft lips needing to kiss you
Two gentle hands longing to caress you
One broken heart still in love with you
Disappointment was never as lovely as she
Hope caught in my heart fighting delicately
She's always the dream that never fades upon waking
The cause and the comfort for all of my shaking
I like to glance over then turn carelessly
Just to see if it makes her come over to me
Her smile is infectious and wipes away fear
If it fades then I show her that I'm always near
Sometimes we are split by self-built barricades
So I break through our silence of awkward blockades
And no matter how often old times we recall
We'll forever laugh and the false walls will fall
They all think I'm crazy my truth to repress
Do anything for her and never confess
Yet silently love I continue to show her
It's enough just to feel that I'm getting to know her
But despite my devotion and adoration
There still remains space for one complication
The spark in my eyes grows colder and dim
When I am reminded she's happy with him
Surely love wants the best for the person it's for?
Not selfishly trying their joy to ignore
But however hard jealousy my heart will dent
If my darling is happy, then I am content.
Knowing her song
still she won't sing it,
her bag's full of notes,
and still she won't bring it,
with veins full of music
she floats on a tune,
she soars on concertos
far over the moon,
I beg and cajole but I'm
just not her Mother,
she won't shed a note
it seems for another,
we're playing piano
on notes on a page
waiting for morning
when she can asuage,
all of the grief that she finds
on the keys,
see how the muses
are down on their knees
whispering hope into
lyrics she hears
sonatas that shimmer
away on her tears.
Little pumpkin very sad
for in white he'd been clad
To be a lantern was his dream
but woeful he was white as cream
So I said, to his delight,
that I liked his coat of white
Now, because I liked him most,
my Jack O' Lantern is a ghost
Inspired by Raul Morenos' White Pumpkin contest
Arriba, Arriba as Speedy Gonzalez would say
The San Quinton Kangaroo Rat is dying away
Baja California is where they do reside
On a little strip of land just 100 meters wide
Due to agriculture and progress it’s sad to say
All but nine-miles of their habitat was taken away
Truly nocturnal they only come out at night
Strongly territorial they’re ready to fight
Once numbering in thousands now 30 are left
How long can humanity go on being deft?
They bathe in the dust so its sad but true
In captivity they last just one day or two
When they are threatened believe what I say
Two-meters at a time they go hopping away
They mainly eat seeds, fruits, insects and such
Amazing kidneys allow them to not drink very much
They rarely drink water because these words are true
Their kidney’s are four-times as efficient as the kidney in you
The odds they will rebound are far less then slim
San Quinton Kangaroo Rats fate is looking rather grim
Even if you don’t hold rats dear to your heart
In the overall cycle of life they play their part
Every species on earth fulfills some sort of need
The San Quinton Kangaroo Rat regulates the diversity of seeds
Plants, insects, ants, and birds need them to survive
Without the San Quinton Kangaroo Rat they cannot thrive
Arriba, Arriba as Speedy Gonzalez would say
The San Quinton Kangaroo Rat is dying away
Being one who spent years in San Quinton this
endangered species caught my eye. Reminded
me of the jail house mouse that would frequent
my cell. An odd sort of connection I'll admit but
rather interesting I reckon.