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Below is the poem entitled seafire which was written by poet Christopher Pitts. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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this could be better. thought i would post it anyways though.

trigger the inconsiderate, broken speech, they may speak
and let its stench linger, in the air around me
hearts may dissolve, and bones to decrease
in stature and resolve, they begin to deplete

hold my hand in yours and begin to preach
let them hear what it sounds like from you and me
together undaunted, together so free
together we're surrounded, all expect us to flee

our hope is the brightest, for futures we'll see
this love in my head, for what will be
the cry is a spear, that pierces with its key
rising and rising, into an echoing screech

their hands cup they ears, and hold til they bleed
pushing them down, to their knees, it should be
never open your eyes, you wouldn't want to see
keep giving the cries, and let us be free

to the front lines we charge, as if to the sea
and collide with the enemy, they buckle and flee
the roar of the lion, the soul from the king
has their knees quaking, our smiles full of glee

they never did see, they never did speak
their hearts stop beating, from accelerated speeds
their joints were unhinged, and swaying to beats
the beats of OUR hearts, a fire from the sea.

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  1. Date: 12/3/2012 1:13:00 PM
    Congratulations on your "November Poem" contest win Christopher. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 11/29/2012 5:59:00 PM
    this one is DEEP. Some great imagery. Congrats on your win.

  1. Date: 11/27/2012 2:45:00 PM
    Loved the battle like verbage in the second to last stanza...isn't love often like going up against an enemy?...congrats! gwendolen

  1. Date: 11/27/2012 8:50:00 AM
    Congratulations on your awesome win, Christopher! love/hugs, Leonora

  1. Date: 11/27/2012 1:35:00 AM
    Congratulations on your winning place Christopher xx

  1. Date: 11/26/2012 9:38:00 PM
    Christopher, . Congratulations :-) with your winning poem.. Thank you for the awesome NOVEMBER'S poem entry.. good night...pd

  1. Date: 11/9/2012 3:30:00 PM
    I agree with pd.... and think it is a good poem. - Hope your weekend will be nice Christopher - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)

  1. Date: 11/6/2012 7:38:00 PM
    Christopher, i love the way you ended the poem, the heart amazingly the sea... enjoyed...pd