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23 warning signs that you are severely addicted to poetrysoup dot com

Chris D. Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled 23 warning signs that you are severely addicted to poetrysoup dot com which was written by poet Chris D. Aechtner. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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23 warning signs that you are severely addicted to poetrysoup dot com



1) Since you have such a crazy drive to post every thought which goes through your mind, you consider posting your grocery lists.

2) You come up with another lame senryu just to post something new(and create a cheap entry for yet another contest).

3) Even though you post everything which comes to mind, post 3+ poems per day, every day, you believe all of your posts to be exemplary pieces.

4) (in relation to #3) You believe all of the "This is a masterpiece!" comments left on your poems, to be completely sincere.

5) You have the tendency to ignore that you are nearing 60 years of age. You put up avatars of yourself, circa 1971, and flirt with nearly every Souper below the supposed age of 30.

6) Instead of having a romantic evening with your significant other, you end up surfing the Soup blogs and drooling over member avatars.

7) After being single for 15 years, a completely compatible person asks you on a date. You decline the offer, end up surfing the Soup blogs and drooling over member avatars.

8) The admin makes an announcement concerning site maintenance, how the site might be down for 24 hrs -- upon reading the announcement, your stomach drops-out, you are filled with a phantasmagoric sense of doom which escalates into a bout of nihilism so strong, you consider methadone treatment to prepare yourself for the upcoming site-shutdown.

9) You begin methadone treatment in preparation for the two hours you will be away from the Soup(and awake)attending your best friend's funeral.

10) Your sleep-time has drastically altered to less than 4 hours of sleep per night. This is for various reasons, one of these being that every week you feel the need to leave a minimum of 1000 comments on poems, so whenever you post something new, the 'return' comments on said post, help push it up the 'Top 100 Recent Poems' list. You consider this to be an accomplishment akin to winning the Nobel Prize in Literature. You are awesome.

11) Instead of watching your favourite soap opera on the booby, you follow the soaps happening between Soupers in the blogs.

12) Every time you get a splinter, you have a strong urge to put up a blog about it to gain support and sympathy during your ordeal.

13) You put up blogs telling members that you are going to be 'gone' for 2 days, and apologize for not "being there for everyone" while away from the site.

14) After not seeing daylight for months on end, you put up a blog about seeing the most amazing thing .... you finally went outside and saw this blazing orb in the .... in the .... in the whatchamacallit, sky?

15) You forget to say "Merry Christmas!" to your family at home, but 'say' it in the Christmas blog that you put up on the Soup.

16) You forget your significant other's Birthday, but remember the Birthday of your favourite 'platonic' Souper.

17) Whenever you see or hear the word "Soup", your palms become itchy and you can barely contain yourself from using a computer/phone to login to poetrysoup.com.

18) You believe that if a poem rhymes, it is automatically a decently written poem.

19) In desperation, your family members and friends create accounts on the Soup, believing this to be the only way left to interact with you. In return, you have your account deleted and open a new one under an assumed pen-name.

20) You make the rounds each new day leaving "Good Morning!" comments on your friend's poems.

21) You go on vacation to an exotic beach location. The weather is gorgeous. The water is wonderfully warm. The sand is splendid. You don't swim in the wonderfully warm water. You don't take in the sights of the beach. You barely even notice the beach. Instead, you log onto the Soup via your laptop/phone.

22) Your children are hungry. You barely even know who your children are anymore. You don't care. *click* *clickety-click*

23) Your significant other finally offers to "do THAT thing"(yes, THAT one!)you've always fantasized him/her doing with you, but until now, he/she has always refused to fulfill for you. Now .... you don't care. *click* *clickety-click* 










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  1. Date: 7/7/2014 6:37:00 PM
    Here's another 1 u can add which I did once on a previous poets site. Write a verse for each of my reviewers andtelling each about it to get in the top 100 list. This is a very funny read.

  1. Date: 5/22/2014 3:47:00 PM
    Quite a read Chris. I think we've all been there at some point <*> James :)

  1. Date: 12/10/2013 12:03:00 PM
    Ouchieee!!!! your words are kinda striking a bit..I'm guilty over it!! ...But in some points..Ps is a great place to Be.. and reading some of your poems prove me that some symptoms of addiction make one avatar worthy !! ..gratitude to you, Sir!! :)

  1. Date: 8/29/2013 2:51:00 PM
    Chris, you are too damn funny. Fortunately, I don't suffer from any of these symptoms and, given the choice, I'd rather be out chasing down innocent woodland creatures and roasting their freshly skinned bodies over a fire...ha. But, I do like getting on here when I've got free time at work...

  1. Date: 8/25/2013 3:58:00 PM
    Wow....I see my reflection! jimbo

  1. Date: 8/22/2013 10:03:00 AM
    Love this! I broke free of my poetrysoup addiction a couple of years ago, but now I'm back! I couldn't stay away :) haha Cheers, Rachel

  1. Date: 8/14/2013 3:38:00 AM
    Dam Chris this doesn't explain the pimples on me bits.. Nice One. Howz it hanging?

  1. Date: 7/28/2013 7:18:00 PM
    I have seen a glimpse of my future...SCARY!! :D -Heather

  1. Date: 7/28/2013 7:30:00 AM
    I'm recovering yet.

  1. Date: 7/27/2013 7:28:00 AM
    This is so very.... well, I'd say sardonic if it weren't so funny... won't say more, otherwise, you might be able to profile me too...Terry

  1. Date: 7/25/2013 4:54:00 PM
    hahaha. Guilty as charged on all 23 counts plus a couple more, I should think. Do I need a doctor?

  1. Date: 7/23/2013 1:49:00 PM
    OMG......I almost missed this !!! ......oh blimey........do we see ourselves, or are we only capable of pointing our fingers at everyone else?!! I think I see a bit of myself, scary thought that it is..maybe not as bad as some, but enough to admit!! Holy Crapola....you nailed us good! Love it !This should be a blog......I would love to read the comments and see who recognizes their own addiction. I'm faving this as a reminder to watch myself, and check my own obsession! So funny but true!

  1. Date: 7/21/2013 12:33:00 AM
    Pffft, wow. Nice. Hehehe :D Always, Laura

  1. Date: 7/16/2013 11:07:00 AM
    Hahahahahahaha, this is priceless! I LOVE IT! Adding it to my favorites. :)

  1. Date: 7/15/2013 9:32:00 PM
    SING IT!!! I've barely been here over the past few weeks. This one had me really guffawing. Okay, but the scary part? I think I actually RECOGNIZE some of these peeps. Today was awesome. Swimming with my girl who has somehow morphed into a fish sans gills. Yeah for floatation devices! We will be moving to New Hamburg in a month... life is busy, wild and exhausting. Soup? Whaz dat??? Hope you're enjoying the summer. Missin' Hockey. Hmmm... 23 warning signs you're addicted to hockey. WRITE IT!LOL

  1. Date: 7/14/2013 3:24:00 PM
    8 and 17 are my favourites of all statements which made me chuckle..After a long pause you returned with entertainment :)

    Chircop  Avatar Charmaine Chircop
    Date: 7/19/2013 4:45:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    : )
    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 7/15/2013 3:37:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Well, I am partially here to entertain lol. I am also here to be entertained....and sometimes PS does just that. If my favs(or new random talent)aren't posting, and the Soup halls resemble a morgue, once in a while the blogs serve up some entertainment....or at least a(jaded?)chuckle.
  1. Date: 7/14/2013 1:20:00 AM
    Upon reading your list of 23....I was pleased that I don't fit into any of those.....but I still found it amusing....oh and thanks for the heads up.....now I know what to look for.... :)

    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 7/15/2013 3:34:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Interesting. This post could help as an educational guide of wot not to become. Simply keep on the lookout to see if any of the warning signs begin creeping to the surface.
  1. Date: 7/13/2013 9:51:00 AM
    Okay I just weewee'd my depends reading this and will attend my poanon meeting this coming week, BTW, my avatar is 8 years old--just prior to my lobotomy and I don't pursue anyone, though do so love being pursued ooopps, here come the wife, better tab back to the perennials page I was perusing!

    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 7/15/2013 3:26:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Ha! The perennials provide 'cover' with their growth, eh. Why not try some more annuals while you are at it?
  1. Date: 7/11/2013 3:05:00 AM
    I second Ruben.O..... I love the bit about avatars.... It certainly gives new meaning to the concept of omphaloskepsis ;-) Love, Su

    Richards Avatar Suzette Richards
    Date: 7/12/2013 2:16:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    lol.... Spot on (no pun intended)
    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 7/11/2013 11:24:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Right on, Sue. If you had a chuckle regarding the avatars bits, then all is the merrier as far as I am concerned. Is omphaloskepsis the mystic trance-state induced by becoming hypnotized from staring at an object for a long time? One's navel? Well, I suppose some people should be careful not to burn holes into their computer screen.
  1. Date: 7/10/2013 3:15:00 PM
    I almost forget: This is a masterpiece! : D

    Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 7/11/2013 11:17:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    If you mean "This is a masterpiece", in relation to #4 of the list, I am also ok with this lol.
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