Funny Poems

Shadow Tail

Tree top dwellers
Electric line leapers
Garage roof tenants
They seem to live solely
To gather nuts
Be chased by eager canines,
And flaunt their furry tails.

Our Union Is On Quaky Ground

Our relationship is on shaky ground
We don't kiss each other like before
We don't say hello and goodbye anymore
We give each other the runaround
For the grace of God
We need to sit down to talk things over
We need the help of the Lord
Countless serious promises were made
That we must keep, cherish and honor
We must always sleep in

A Very Bad Day

When I arose one day, I could barely walk.
Had to drink my coffee before I could talk.

Before I was done, the bathroom would call,
I held the grab bar, but still managed to fall.

The shower beckoned me, so I went on in.
I slipped on the soap, and bruised my shin. 

Later I was hungry, so in

Tall And Thin

His name was Dan but most called him “snake”,
we listened intently to each thing that he spake.
His voice would croak,
and that is no joke,
Because he was different we thought him a flake.

Bochincheras

Bochincheras

"ayo, peep shorty on the corner—pants saggin like gravity owe him money."
"¡ay dios! look at them boxers—bright like they from the 99 cent store.
he walkin like he own the block, but can’t even buy a metrocard."
"let me be pacific—he cappin heavy.
actin like he important when he just buggin.
all flex, no check."
"y esa muchachita? the one

We're different roads

We walk divergent paths, you and I,
Two distinct journeys, like parallel lines in the sky,
Our minds, a dichotomy, a clash of thought and deed,
I navigate logic's realm, while you follow feelings' creed.

Our communication, a discordant symphony,
I'm measured, you're impulsive, a contrast in harmony,
My words, a calculated risk, yours, an emotional release,
We're worlds apart, in every

UNTITLED

destined for stardom

I appear on local news

rollers in my hair

My Love

I used the love poem generator on here to write this one. I like to do it putting in wild words to create something funny when I am feeling a little down.

My Love, Cucumber

Your skin glows like the orange, blossoms tart as the Mexican Petunia in the purest hope of spring.
My yearning heart rises to

The Note in Your Shoes

The wedding venue burnt without flame
the moment we stepped in.
You and I, hand in hand, step by step—
we laughed till our facials started aching,
we danced until the floor grew tired.

That was the story of our first day in love.
Twenty five years after marriage~
we now hardly speak,
our children hardly know us.

We rise too early, return too

I said, 'Okay! Let's play a little game'

I said, "Okay! Let's play a little game.
I'll pick a number, and I'll pick a name.
And if you can guess neither,
you'll have to watch my Peter,
while I paint your new door and the new frame."

sleepless fun : footle

        

     toss bon-bons

                                 mice won ~

UNTITLED

contented dog 
stretches and yawns
no room for me

GAME OF CAT AND ROBIN

my russian blue cat
static like a statue
on the sun-warmed
window ledge

laser-focused eyes
fixate
on the gum tree
leaves tremble
then still

shrewd cat waits
wet nose
smearing the glass

a robin’s fleeting shadow
darts across
a pool of sunlight
diving into
the center of the light
then swooping back again
in a blur of motion

my cat pounces
chasing the robin
around
the carpeted floor

over and over
he paws at
the imaginary catch
but each time
elusive robin
slips

Forest of Blue

Marjorie Moose, with her chandelier crown,
found twelve ducklings just wandering down.
No mother in sight, no map in their beaks
just confused chirps and moss-covered cheeks.

She took them to a pond shaped like a spoon,
where frogs sang jazz beneath the moon.
She taught them to nap in a thistle-made bed,
While squirrels served pines and soup in a shed.

But

POETRY SOUP ALGORITHM

“As awareness increases, the need for secrecy proportionally decreases” Chauld De Pauler
                               
            

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absurd, amusing, bizarre, cracks me up, curious, entertaining, hilarious, hysterical, joke, joking, knee slapper, ludicrous, mysterious, playful, ridiculous, side splitting, silly, slapstick, strange, unusual, weird, whimsical, witty