Funny Christmas Poems

These Christmas Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Christmas. These are the best examples of Funny Christmas poems written by international poets.


12 days of xmas by roger turner
On the first day of x-mas
My ex wife gave to me
a card from her new attorney

On the second day of x-mas
My ex wife gave to...

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Categories: anger, divorce, funny, giggle,

Calm before the storm by roger turner
sit and listen to the quiet
it's outside the christmas norm
because now, when all is silent
it's the calm before the storm

the kids are upstairs sleeping
you're resting,...

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Categories: funny, america, christmas, family, fun,



The Christmas Panto by roger turner
The Christmas season is upon us
With lots of things to show
NO THERE ISN'T , YES THERE IS
And the best of them's the Panto

Dick Whittington and...

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Categories: funny, children, christmas, december, fairy,

ugly christmas sweaters by roger turner
You've read my rant from yesterday
About those Christmas Letters
But one thing just disturbs me
Those Ugly Christmas Sweaters!!!

You know the ones we love to hate
They're ...

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Categories: funny, celebration, christmas, clothes, family,

Santa's New Team by roger turner
Christmas Eve was coming
There was plenty to be done
There were protocols to follow
There were programs to be run

Presents needed wrapping
Elves had duties of their own
They've...

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Categories: funny, childhood, children, christmas, december,

Mistletoe Etiquette by roger turner
Christmas is traditions
some last and others die
some leave you feeling fuzzy
others leave you asking "Why?"
There's rules that must be followed
And most of them we know
About...

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Categories: christmas, family, funny, holiday,

A puppy's Christmas by roger turner
T'was the night before Christmas
The gifts were all wrapped
When the smell, well...it hit me
Our new puppy had crapped

I knew I could smell it
It was not...

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Categories: funny, 7th grade, animal, christmas,

Premium MemberPandas by Jack Ellison


Panda bears are not real, that's total nonsense
They're manufactured in an obscure Chinese province
Peebs work into the night
Making these Christmas delights
But only give them their...

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Categories: funny,

Premium MemberFancy Stress - Collaboration with the Awesome Jan Allison by Nina Parmenter
Fancy Stress - Collaboration with the Awesome Jan Allison

There’s a party tonight so I bouffe up my hair
Pamper and powder my sweet derrière,
Arrive at the...

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Categories: fun, funny, humor, humorous,

Premium MemberThe Wolfman by Marc Acrich
The Wolfman  #145

Pain and love are two ends of a coin
If you flip it no one knows
Where they land, 
Hopefully in the pocket of...

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Categories: fairy, funny,

Premium MemberWhen I Was Your Age by Amy Sell
For Christmas I got half a glass of Coke; nothing else was given.
If I wanted something else I could spill it and get a spanking...

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Categories: funny, age, change, child, dad,

Snowing weather by Nagella Jean-Baptiste
(feelings)

It's always beautiful when it snow
Even more beautiful when it's around Christmas Eve or
Christmas day.
I love watching  the snow swiffing it way back and...

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Categories: funny, truth,

Premium MemberFrom My Lips to Santa's Ears by CayCay Jennings
Dearest Santa, my one wish may seem strange,
but please do not interpret me as snide.
I wish this kindness, so please do arrange  
my Christmas...

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Categories: christmas, funny, proposal, ,

BREAKING HEADLINE NEWS this Xmas eve 2017 by matthew harris
After a top secret clandestine conclave,
one or more eight Reindeer forsake
played cow word spoilt,
et cetera doe fill full heartbreak,

which Santa Claus immediately claimed
to be “FAKE”...

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Categories: abuse, allegory, children, funny,

Premium MemberTaste for the Cane by Freddie Robinson Jr.

Blaze sure got a sweet tooth,
he wags the tail good
in hopes of getting a Christmas treat
Watching intently
as the whole family
decorates the pretty evergreen tree
Quiet time,...

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Categories: dog, funny, humorous, pets,

Premium MemberBah ollocks by Nick Trim
Christmas is a farce,
stick your hand up a turkeys arse.

A virgin breeding?
I guess you believe in?
Are you stupid?
It was God's kid?
No, Mary got around you...

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Categories: funny, age, betrayal, corruption, crazy,

Premium MemberA Conversation by July Morning
Seen.  Heard.

Two mice walk into a bar...

"Hey barkeep (a tomcat), whiskey, neat, and one for my pal."

(First mouse - Leo) "Geezy weezy did I...

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Categories: funny,

Santa is tired of burning his butt by randy johnson
Once a year, I deliver presents to children all over the world.
But sometimes I wonder why I do what I do for boys and girls.
Every...

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Categories: christmas, funny, humor,

Damn Christmas Bills by randy johnson
My wife makes me put up 3000 Christmas lights at our place.
We have the only house that can be seen from outer space.
When I get...

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Categories: christmas, funny, humor, humorous,

Premium MemberIt TwAs ThE MoRniNg Of CHriStMaS by Vickie Thayer
Twas The Morning Of Christmas,
When I Spied A Mouse,
On Christmas Eve,
He Had The Run,
Of Our House,
The Stockings We Hung,
By The Chimney With Care,
Suspiciously Were, 
No...

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Categories: christmas, fun, funny,