Christmas Funny Poems | Examples
These Christmas Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Christmas. These are the best examples of Funny Christmas poems written by international poets.
Ho ho, my jolly good fellow.
You remain so freaking mellow!
Christmas Eve is here,
we drink in good cheer
and the snow is stained bright yellow!
Rudolph, the leader of Santa's reindeer,
adjusted his nose and gave the all clear
to steer Santa well with his braced flashlight.
But one Christmas Eve, he sneezed during flight!
Smog and blackouts led to an off-track sleigh,
‘til Rudolph’s red nose could not save the day.
Santa refused to show stress,
So he used his G-P-S*
To get Christmas Eve trek back on its way!
The night before Christmas my 6-year-old grandson was elated,
for he knew Santa would bring him bagful of gorgeous gifts
and he would come at night alighting through the chimney.
So, if there was one in the new house he wanted to see.
He ran upstairs to look at the roof top, but couldn't find one,
in tears, he said Santa's visit his fate had surely undone.
I assured, Santa would come through the window of his room
that he kept wide open to the freezing wind blowing at night.
At morn, seeing all the gifts by his side he tried to shout in joy,
but his voice was choked, gripped by the biting bout of cold.
Cranberry garlands the Christmas tree
Piña empanadas and gifts of filigree
Children’s faces aglow
Kissing ‘neath the mistletoe
Midnight mass tradition with family
Flights have been cancelled call the hotels!
Humbug to last minute changes and jingle bells
Lil black dress doesn’t fit
BYO Test My Drink Kit
It’s pub night with my standby drinking pals
Merry Christmas
Joyeux Noël
Feliz Navidad
Happy Hanukkah
Happy Kwanzaa!
Please rate 1-10
(1 Santa would be proud or
10 A coal in your stocking!)
A white Christmas in Chicagee don't make no sense
Bout time we skeedaddle, let good times commence
So where to go, my darlin' Maggie and me
As we swig down our egg nog and pack our tree?
The lil' miss and I'll be spendin' this Christmas
Way down yonder on the Panama Isthmus
There's a honky-tonk there on the ol' canal
Tequilla will be flowin' for me and my gal
Deck the Halls
Whacked the guy that stole my money
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
"Jail's the place for you now, sonny,"
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
"Grant you pardon? Kill that notion!"
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
Toss the key now to the ocean
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
Good King Wencelas
Christmas Day has come around
Let's play Dirty Santa
Where your goodwill won't rebound
We'll just go bananas
Be as cheap as we can be
Spend no more than fiver
And I think we all agree
Everyone's a miser
We Wish You A Merry Christmas
A bad girl I've been
Forgive me my sin
Please don't give me charcoal
For the gift swap this year
Grant me grace
As I fall into this place,
With so much acheived
And so much more to go.
Grant me grace
As I recall my old face,
Such rivers of emotions,
Immaculate proportions.
Grant me grace
In slowness and in haste,
For the color and the sound
Are just noisy trains moving 'round!
Grant me grace
For God's Sakes,
It's Christmas Eve!
Can't I just for once believe?
Grant me this grace,
Justin Case.
Dasher and Dancer yelled midair
and said to Santa, “We can't fly!
Earth satellites have made a snare
of wireless currents in the sky!”
Then Santa answered, “Use plan B-
come down one level in the sky.
Take care and watch! Don't hit a tree
or steeple top as we zoom by!”
So they both did as Santa said,
though still, they'd be a little late;
made headway now with deer and sled
where techno-waves had low-flow rate!
Heading into Bethlehem ...
Three Wise Men,
In search of a stable.
Heading out of Bethlehem ...
Three Wise Turkeys,
While they were - still able.
Dashing through the snow,
It's thirty-two below,
My hands are cold, my feet are numb,
For some this weather sure ain't fun.
My eyes are tearing up,
My nose has turned bright red,
My fingers hurt, the car won't start,
I should have stayed in bed.
Ohhhh! Off to work, Off to work,
I gotta get to work.
The car won't start, the battery died,
I'll have to try to hitch a ride.
Standing in the cold.
I'm waiting for the bus.
If I don't freeze to death today,
It's 'cause pneumonia got me fust.
mistletoe season ~
time to pucker up and kiss
the dung on a stick
Climbing onto Santa's knee
didn’t fill me with Christmas glee
for his suit was wet
and it wasn't just sweat
‘cause it smelt a lot like pee.
(Limerick)
12/18/2022
A Funny Santa Limerick
Sponsored by: Tania Kitchin
howmanysyllables
rhymezone
Our Jolly Saint Nick seems quite sprite
With big happy smiles this fine night
He hands out his toys
And tween that enjoys
His old, faithful friend named Bud-Light!
December 18, 2022
Contest: A Funny Santa Limerick
Sponsor: Tania Kitchin
Santa visits us but once a year
Cookies are waiting, never to fear
Sweet little Helen, so kind
Mixed in Ex-lax to remind
Last year, he had left coal for the dear
A Funny Santa Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Tania Kitchin
Used HowManySyllables.com
December 18, 2022