Ridiculous Poems

Ridiculous

Don’t spread cremation crumble on burnt toast.
Is what the undertaker said about dad’s ashes.
My furrowed brow responds…
Why? Who would do such a thing?

If you were to follow a random person 
from the street, ever wonder, where it might lead?
You just might pick some ordinary schmo.
single?
innocent?
cavalier?
kind?

You may find out something—wishing you hadn’t 
psycho?
shallow?
yokel?
callous?
hapless?
omnicidal?

Would you spread cremation

Big Mo

When a horrible commissioner
was suddenly fired,
team owners interviewed
Big Mo.
They told him,
You're hired.

Changes he made to the game
were made right away.
Protests which followed
were completely ignored.
And the first things 
removed were all
the scoreboards.

Big Mo outlawed
all sales of meat.

No burgers.
No sushi.
No hot dogs
No barbecued beef.
No sea food harvested
from your favorite reef.

Big Mo said
The Game contained 
too much volatility,
so

A Ridiculous Comparison- My Husband and Pumpkin

My husband is like a ripening pumpkin
Loves to lie down inert on the ground, most of the time.
Lack of exercises has made his belly bloat,
Like pumpkin, that now he looks a comic sight.

A pumpkin carved in shape with a light inside,
Serves as an adornment in Halloween season.
Though funny to view, he is beautiful inside,
With a

A Ticklish Situation

Call me fickle
no doubt about it
I’m in a pickle
a firkin full of gherkin
quite a quandary
tho' still a dill
the question isn’t funny
it’s ridiculous
others may tickle us
yet I don’t see
for love nor money
why I can’t tickle me

Rickety Rackety Ruffled Ridiculous Rhine

Rickety rackety ruffled ridiculous Rhine,
Make her hair stick out like a ball of twine
Let it fall out on the floor and in church too
Put a permanent skunk in her chimney wazoo

Make her look silly in front of thousands I say
Take away her fun, sabotage her in every way
If she takes a step, let her trip

A ridiculous question

She says witches are ugly if bad
She's says like it some kind of new fad
Which makes me think
Did this princess in pink
Called me ugly and now I am sad

Revolution smeared ridiculous

Revolution triumphs with hope
to replace the monstrous organs
that only ate
but never really wanted to function.

But if that hope is not equipped
to fill the void
with precision plans and control
then revolution will get smeared
as ridiculous, cause further pain
and deadly destruction.

(09.24.2024)

Ridiculous Riddles Trimeric

Rip currents of ridiculous riddles
wet the chops of ink and parchment;
A poet enjoys tea and berry jam-tarts,
her pen tremors ‘We’re all mad here.’

Wet the chops of ink and parchment,
visit the tempestuous Queen of Hearts;
Feed your mind, milk her rose garden;

A poet enjoys tea and berry jam-tarts
drifting off into a golden afternoon;
Teaspoons paddle a sea of

Ridiculous Restrictions

Ridiculous Restrictions

A beautiful mansion stood before me,
Carved charisma, a beauty to see,
My mind was imprisoned by its crimson designs,
The sea beside gave a paranormal vibe,
My phone chimed, I read the strange instructions,
What were these ridiculous restrictions?

“Go straight to Room no. 403,
Don’t peek into rooms,  don’t stop to see,
Screams and whispers are just illusions,
The white

Ridiculous Horse

silly 
filly

Clown But Not Ridiculous

Yes, I am, shy and fussy
I'm a blissful clown
I only ask God
don't allow me
lose the sense of ridicule,,

Ridiculous Rumors

of all the
  ridiculous
  rumors
  out there
  right now
  this one
  has me
  absolutely
  falling out
  of
  my high
  chair
  laughing
  until 
  my ribs
  are
  sore
  yes
  of course
  you'd
  like to
  know

This Is Ridiculous

Pups followed her home from this place and that.
She had bulldogs, basset hounds, and puppies so fat.
They followed her inside and lay down on her bed.
The mattress was cozy underneath each little head.

Her almost suiters were astounded to see the scene.
They said, “This is ridiculous!” One sounded quite mean.
You do not understand, she said. Here,

A Stuntman

There're a lot of
Strange, funny and weird stories 
It's common to be employed as a stuntman in acting 
But not to be employed for something evils
But not to be employed as a scapegoat
Maybe a ghost is looking for a substitute
But it's certainly ridiculous
To look for a stand-in for sickness
To look for a stuntman for your

She Looks Ridiculous

She dresses so young!
She should dress her age!
She looks ridiculous.
I scoff at these old biddies.

If any of them looked half as good
They would be dressed exactly like her.
She takes care of herself.
She exercises. She eats healthy.

She has a slim body, and her skin is impeccable.
This is where all the gossiping is coming from.
I roll my

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