Silly Funny Poems

There once was a young girl named Flo.
She liked holidays quiet and slow.
	But Jolly Saint Nick,
	well, he came too quick
and poor Flo was left to...

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There once was a pudgy old elf 
he loaded the toys from the shelf
	filled the sleigh full 
	too heavy to pull
needed to lose half of...

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“Did you come to see me?”
	“Why would I?”
“Do you love me?”
	“Do I?”
“Does the sun set in the West?”
	“What does that have to do with it?”
“Do...

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My Christmas lights emerged a tangle
They twisted and turned at an angle
	toes caught the middle
	caused me to piddle
The shock caused my jingle to jangle 

29...

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First the cornbread now the turkey
his movements seemed herky-jerky
	stuff a bird
	think absurd
sounds to me a bit quirky...

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Frisky frog forgot to bathe
So off he went, to the creek
Alone in the water, he decided
He’d be so clean, he’d squeak

Silly squirrel, scattered his nuts
Along...

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So and Sew

I sew
it’s so

So Fine

nimble
thimble

Lost Pattern

quilted
wilted

Chain Stitch

lost link
pants sink

Running Stitch

pants torn
forlorn

Stitch in Time

mended
splendid

Long Stitch

I sew
so slow

Prickle

needle
bleedle
...

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He dressed as a jack-o-lantern
costumed in uncommon pattern
	strode through the park
	though it was dark
and was mistaken for slattern...

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No one cared about poor Jack
cut and carved from front to back
	his pulp made pie
	seeds left to dry
he became a withered wrack...

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Poor Jack ran a futile race
couldn’t keep up the heated pace
	lost the battle
	someone’s chattel
now he has a Halloween face
...

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A hare that had no hair
Met a rabbit with no heir
She had a certain air
You might say she’s all that

Buck hadn’t any dough
O, how he...

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Sarcophagus lay in the ditch
the wagon had lost its hitch
	dearest mummy was gone
	breath renewed by Amon 
she befell the wanderer’s itch
...

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She was my dearest mommy
smarter than any swami
	a turn of bad luck
	was hit by a truck 
now she thinks she’s pastrami...

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There once was a cowboy from Nevada.
He wore a barf bag as a bandana. 
When he rode on his horse,
his sickness grew worse,
and his intestines...

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There once a dare devil named Dan
smugly swung with only one hand
	forgot and let go
	of the rope in tow
sank in a thick pool of quicksand....

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