Humor Poems

A tree troll with three toes
tried to trap a leaping leprechaun
with a black claw bear paw trap.
But he stubbed toe three in the trap in the tree,
Snip snap toe three was gone.

The tree troll with two toes
tried to trap a...Read More

One night during the Great Mosquito Wars
After a three-hour struggle
Using subterfuge, with candles, lights, "gas" -
There was not a single sighting

About the third hour, into the wee-est hours
I felt a movement (by the enemy)
Quick as a flash, my hands slapped...Read More

Sister Susie swigged seven Sangria's,
Seven Sangria's sister Susie swigged.
Swigging seven Sangria's was so stupid -
Susie’s severely sozzled her twin sister twigged!

1/17/20
...Read More

It doesn’t seem possible I tell myself –
eleven years already and going on twelve!
I suppose I should have a party – a piece

of prime beef lit with eleven candles. 
But he’d never get close enough to blow them out.
So it...Read More

   Excited children, 
        heavily in attendance
                    at the circus watch 
...Read More

There was pity for one second for the victim in this case,
when 'Hilly', 'Bee' and me were walking to our drinking place.
We were slobbering in thought for what keeps us all afloat, 
then 'Hilly's' eyes flew open wide - "Is...Read More

They’re motives of the weekend - they’re a gardener’s saving grace,
buzzing up and down and ‘round and ‘round cleaning up the place.
There’s nothing like the latest smell of a freshly mown down lawn,
once you ease a hiccup which can cause...Read More

A thief who was brazen and blunt,
while I slept was performing his stunt.
Twas money he sought,
I woke up and I thought,
I’ll get up and help him with the hunt....Read More

On Venus, Captain Kirk was naughty
After which he ran to the potty
But life is seldom fair
No toilet paper there
So Kirk screamed, "Beam me up, Scotty!"...Read More

SONG OF THE PIPELINE

Working on the pipeline
Having such a great time
All work and no play
Never know the time of day.

Toiling seven days a week
Never finding time to sleep
Work in mud up to our necks
Have no time to cash our checks.

Sleep...Read More

                   Strange, funny even; 
             someone spending two hours 
...Read More

This is a quest for chicks of any age,
How to meet a decent bloke on life's stage,
Wouldn't have a clue, how to build rapport,
With someone sincere, who is not a dorb,
We're all humans with feet of clay,
Guess I won't meet...Read More

I envy the poet who has the knack
to pick up ideas from anywhere
and at any time. What a gift that is, 
and, frankly, one I sorely lack.

My vacuum cleaner does much the same. 
Of course, as a would-be poet, I’m...Read More

To stranger or neighbor,
many brag they love to do a favor;
and life is witness to this fact
that many are a destructive act.

...Read More

Magical madrigal mystical minstrels making melodies

Radical refrains remaining retaining righteous remedies

Virginal virtuous vibrational verses voicing victories

Harmonical heavenly healing helping heroical histories






Jan.16.2020
Twist my Tongue
Sponsored by: Nina Parmenter
...Read More

Donald Trump launched a brand new Space Force
With Warrant Officer Jan, of course!
Jan heads Wind Direction
& Coding Detection 
i.e., long and short blasts as per Morse...Read More

POLYTIES LET BE POLITE

Bereaved letters toiled
Our ears at her entrance
Many of its alphabets shall seek Haven in our belly
A few shall be gaged
And shall  end in
*"May her soil favor us"*

Polyties let be polite
Demur against fight
Make things right
With our beautiful...Read More

Is the Earth’s climate warming? No! No way!
But I wonder what happened one fine day,
when a stark naked horde
swam and splashed in a fjord
on a balmy New Year's Eve in Norway. ...Read More

I’ve been called an inequity spotter
(although some will just call me a “rotter”).
Names are biased for sons:
yours and mine — everyone’s.
I propose to make JohnSON — JohnDAUGHTER.
...Read More

In my castle, live dragons...yes, dragons; 
after all, they are humble beings
quite suitable for keeping the place 
warm in the winter months.
Oh don’t worry, my castle is completely stone;
fourteen-foot thick walls,  house my scaly brood.
It’s the only dragon-heated castle...Read More

I attended a large gathering and took some time
to observe the great assortment of shoes stacked on the racks
I saw new shoes, pricey shoes, and shoes not worth a dime
and shoes that seemed to have crossed many paths and tracks.

I...Read More

I was trying to look adult but I was running late.
I was not in a business casual outfit or even a business outfit.
My husband had set up this appointment but forgot to tell me.
Be professional, he had cautioned me two...Read More

I believe that the Sasquatch is valid.
He is huge though he eats only salad.
He’s so large, I admit,
that a limerick won’t fit
this big fella — I owe him a ballad....Read More

The British Jo Of Maya 

Transforming
His
Expressions into his name

Bobby, is a British police officer
Robert is not
In
This
I
See
Humor

Jo in french
Obviously means Sweetheart

Offspring
From

Macrology
Atlas Daughter 
Yonder
Affiliation

Contest: What’s In a Name
Sponsored By: Juliet Ligon
Date Created: 01/14/2020...Read More

Not that you asked,
or ever would feel free to inquire,
yet perhaps you grow ready to listen
to a voice inviting exit
from your,
and our,
long loneliness,
self-contempt,
isolation so shelled-over,
so embedded,
you are sure we are each and all
unredeemably alone

In our envy of others,
the positive deviants
with...Read More