Teachers Funny Poems | Examples
These Teachers Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Teachers. These are the best examples of Funny Teachers poems written by international poets.
there once was a thief from devin
whose teachers called him sir kevin
but his mom and dad
were indeed more sad
he worked eleven to seven.
Why me? I have to clean my room,
why does it have to be so soon?
Why me? I never get to play,
or have my friends over to stay.
Why me? I have to shout and scream,
if I’m to get some damn ice cream.
Why me? I blame the teachers so,
for every day to school I go.
Why me? I have to do homework,
a responsibility I cannot shirk.
Why me? I go to bed at seven,
now that is not exactly heaven!
Why me? I’m told I must stay clean,
if not, where exactly have I been?
Why me? I’m only ten years old,
but I know nothing, so I’m told.
Why me? They should be made to see,
that all I want is to be free!
We are wearing pajamas today.
We are super heroes, butterflies, unicorns, and mice.
We have slippers with long rat tails.
Mine are gorillas with red light-up eyes.
One or two have tails.
My zebra suit has lost his tail.
Pulled off long ago,
But do not worry. I am wearing matching underwear.
It is pajama day! Pajama day! Pajama Day!
I sing loudly and proudly, showing off my P.J.s
In throes of ecstasy.
The principal comes to a screeching halt when she sees me.
This was supposed to be for kids.
Yes, I know, I tell her.
Kids like me!
She smiles, and I know all is exactly as it should be.
This is a first grader’s day
I build a house! I build a house!
Another first grader chimes in.
It has a mouse! And maybe a louse!
Third first grader yells “Hey, that rhymes!”
“Chimes! Limes! Times! Crimes!”
By the time the teacher arrives back
from her twenty-second bathroom break
the whole room is afire with song.
You would think I taught music.
Did they finish the spelling test? She asks me.
“Test! Pest! Fest! Guest! Crest!” They all sing.
I ease out gently, waving, not daring to speak.
She is pompous, arrogant,
One sided. Espousing prophetic nonsense
Self-assured for no reason whatsoever
I listen to her internal volcano
Trying to conquer me in one of her landslides
Pushing all judgement aside,
I picture the grim reaper dragging her out by
her hair nodules,
Ah, the screaming! The wonderful way he would
plunk her in an undignified pick-up bed.
She is speaking of Republicans now.
Has she ever met one? Who made her the queen of explanations.
I will shatter her illusions when I help the reaper collect her.
Worst Economics teacher on the face of the planet.
Where is our real teacher?
Yes.
Substitute teachers get asked this hourly.
Maybe even every eight minutes.
Sometimes I give a teacher a bathroom break.
Especially a pregnant teacher.
They need it more often.
And are so grateful!
A spaceship got her, I tell them.
Smiling smugly.
Watching their faces.
Either change to laughter or tears.
I have learned the hard way
Kindergarten students have the most severe reaction.
Depending upon how well I like their teacher I either
Say it or not say it.
Knowing that half of them will be sobbing when she returns.
This is how a first grader’s day goes.
Six of them are at a table playing with Legos
Which is kind of the new less-messy playdough of today.
They are singing, of course, being happy.
“I’m building a house! I’m building a house!”
“Mine has a mouse! Mine has a mouse!”
“I have a rat in mine!”
“Hey, that is a rhyme!”
“Is not!”
“Is too.”
The competition is on.
“I have two rats in my house!”
“I have three rats in my house!”
“I have four rats in my house!”
The competition is on.
“I have five rats!”
“I have six rats!”
Always in order, for this is the first grade pattern.
Teachers work best when in seminars
Poets read verses in smokey bars
Chefs rock with a spoon
Plumbers show their moon
But Astronomers shoot for the stars!
January 5, 2019
A lazy student known as Burt,
To parents and teachers was curt.
With little knowledge,
Flunked out of college;
Played stock market and lost his shirt!
12/22/18
Hey! What is that room?
This?
Child nods head.
This is the teachers’ lounge.
What’s that?
Lightbulb goes off in my devious dendrite factory.
“A wonderful place for teachers.”
Can I see?
“No.”
Why not?
“You might tell.”
High interest now. Seven is intrigued. “I won’t! What you got in there?”
“You mean besides our PS4, bowling alley, and the Jacuzzi?”
His big brown child eyes pop even bigger.
“No FAIR!” he says.
In reality it is such
A drab, unappealing
place, I rarely
Put my toe in there.
It is just a place to
Refrigerate my lunch.
my math teachers fav'rite cat
likes to wear a baseball hat
when the class stares it down
it will hiss with a frown
red sox man are where its at.
MY CULTURE
Every thing that is around.
North to South and coast to coast,
My culture.
Weather, land and people,
Pan-o-ramas and political views,
My culture.
The ways of talk,
The ways of walk,
The game and showmanship,
Work and play,
Night and day,
My culture.
The pros and teachers and striving reachers,
Artisans and preachers and other creatures,
Law people, tall people, all people,
My culture.
Fauna that's left,
Flora that's left,
Fauna and flora that's here,
My culture.
Relatives and friends,
Their thoughts and opinions,
People oblique to those views,
My culture.
Democracy,
Bureaucracy,
Hypocrisy and idiocy,
My culture.
We progress and mature
Through fault,
My culture.
There was a naughty girl.
And a naughty girl was she.
For nothing would she do
but try to stop the sea.
She’d push it with her hands.
She’d stomp it with her feet.
She scream down the pulling moon.
Kick sand castles in retreat.
The was a naughty girl.
Who railed at her mother.
Often this feisty pipsqueak
would even pop her brother.
She’d take the teachers all to task.
She’d give the priest a sermon.
She’d back the bullies down the street.
They’d see who would be learnin’
It seems, she wasn’t naughty.
It seems, she was just free,
free in all the broadest sense
is what she wished to be!