Funny School Poems

Nay, despite failing to make the grade,
     this bluesy well red, duff mute 
     average white band...

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I like Scrabble, and Monopoly,
And Cadoo, and Dabble too.
I like The Game of Life,
And other fun stuff to do. 

I like challenges like 
finding peppermints...

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How hilarious is being born
with a highly sensitive nature;
this is unmanly and very rare
for someone seldom forlorn. 

If transformation took place on a public stage,
I...

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He's the class clown, full of hijinks and pranks,
Puts tacks on your seat, swallows fish from the tank.
He's full of you-know-what and vinegar, energy galore,
Will...

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My mom always told me not to show my heart so much,
because she said the world will chew it up and spit it out in...

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    ...

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This was accidentally written as a common to my buddy, Line.
Yes, THAT Line.
The famous Line.
The one who wins all the contests, and 
we all love...

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L ittle voices, rising in volume and pitch
I mploring teacher, begs all available aids to help pop 
C oats, hats, muffs, mitts, sweaters, gloves, socks,...

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When playtime was over my tiny hands tediously picked up Tyco toys, a fistful of three at a time. "Atta girl," my dad would encourage....

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Trixie and Blixie were identical twins.
Darling little girls.
Hazel eyes. 
Big puffy shoulders.
Magical pearl-laden dresses, made by their mother, who was a wonderful seamstress.
People on the...

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Our school secretary woke up every day, begging for unhappy.
By her daily face, I knew she was almost always able to find it.
By her heart,...

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Elvin and Leroy were baseball players
From the time they were six years old
And best friends since the early days
A million baseball stories to be told

Their...

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Are you socially awkward or totally British?
Does small talk just make you feel nervous and skittish?
On the school run, the bus, in the office each...

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 Ever find yourself getting
 up on the wrong side of 
 the bed, knowing your 
 going to have one of those 
 days!!...

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I’m flowin’ like the Ganges
You know you cannot stand me
I make your rhymes sound pitiful
Your rhythm namby pamby
My rhymes have got more flavour
Than yours, so...

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One skinny geek, one with stuffing
The third wheel went by “Mclovin”
A wasted girl
Began to hurl
Then the fat boy took off running
...

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Snowflakes.
Fragments of dreams,
Swirl non-committally.
Will they settle, or fade away?
Who knows.

Shovel.
Sadly untouched,
Standing expectantly.
Will it finally have its day?
Doubt it.

Children.
Hope boiling over,
Planning epic snow-fights.
Will their school be...

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Sophie Smith came home from school, her blue eyes shining bright,
Her mum saw what was in her hand, and turned completely white.
“Look Mummy!” she cried...

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I'm going to tell you something and I'll be quite plain.
I have a fifteen year old son who couldn't be potty trained.
I tried to potty...

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Ode To A Gym Teacher

Amid brassiere and derrière
She strives to put her clothes on.
Her panties there, stockings here 
The rest of it, she throws on.

At...

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