School Funny Poems

Field trip day
Science City
I get assigned the five best kids
Three of the wildest boys
One kept yelling “are you my daddy?”
to strange men.
They looked at him...

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A spanking new fourth grade boy in
the most rigid fourth-grade teacher’s class
introduced himself in this way
“I am a magician. I hypnotize my parents nightly.
They do...

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Bags upon bags upon piles within piles of bags
Yes, teachers are the ultimate bag-ladies.
Rarely but occasionally a bag-man steps into our midst
But here at the...

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We are wearing pajamas today.
We are super heroes, butterflies, unicorns, and mice.
We have slippers with long rat tails.
Mine are gorillas with red light-up eyes.

One or...

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Possible seventy-nine-degree high today
A day to twirl, and dance and play.

I am saying to everyone I feel sick. We should all be home.
Drawing pictures, planting...

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Fire Breathing Mama Comes to School
She was snorting fire and breathing nails.
It was the first time I had met her, so I was taken aback.
Just...

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He calls me names, the teacher said.
Her arms were crossed; her mouth was tight, 
She was mean-face-angry. Furious maybe.
What names? The boss asked her.
Does it...

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Are Lawyers needed? I put to you,
       to begin our little tale.
Besides the time, you smoked that pot,
 ...

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This is a first grader’s day
I build a house! I build a house!
Another first grader chimes in.
It has a mouse! And maybe a louse!
Third first...

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Calindae knows everything
She is the expert of all
I sit next to her during meetings
For there might be group work
And I know she will grab the...

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She is pompous, arrogant,
One sided. Espousing prophetic nonsense 
Self-assured for no reason whatsoever
I listen to her internal volcano
Trying to conquer me in one of her...

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An extragalactic out-of-town adventure is what you need.
Your imagination fresh like Einstein’s, not going to seed.
I would loan you my purple rocket ship, but it...

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Where does my kitty cat go every day?
When I'm heading to school, is he getting away?
Or forgetting he musn't let strays in to play?
Where does...

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Where is our real teacher?
Yes.
Substitute teachers get asked this hourly.
Maybe even every eight minutes.

Sometimes I give a teacher a bathroom break.
Especially a pregnant teacher.
They need...

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The Look of a Giant Monster Who Eats Children and Puppies
Gnashing and slashing he crashes into my world
Taking over my soul, or trying to.
His sharp...

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All I have to do is paint a portrait of somebody being dead and he or she dies in real life.
I've painted portraits of my...

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We are leaping and peeping and laughing and clapping.
A fun day for sure, and there has been no slapping.
We are the kindergarteners, a mighty throng.
We...

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This is how a first grader’s day goes. 
Six of them are at a table playing with Legos
Which is kind of the new less-messy playdough...

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Let us plant a balloon tree, in the center of our hearts.
Let us give her red, orange, pink, and yellow to warm us up.
Let us...

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I didn't get much schooling so I can't read or write.
Many people don't understand my situation and plight.
I thought I was buying sugar but I...

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