Rhyme Funny Poems

Driving home from the liquor store,
       completely void of worry,
I reached behind for my bag of weed
 and I...

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For Christmas I bought you a mustang, with dice hung from the mirror.
  But the IRS came and took it away and gave it...

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Grandpa at an oyster

                     ...

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Twas the night before Christmas- we heard not a peep
for our three little kids were in bed fast asleep.
We looked up at each other and...

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“It’s just a rough draft,”
he said with a laugh
but the joke is half epitaph.

I know I’ll regret it
this helping him edit
his thesis, this knife,
that will...

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Twas the night before Christmas, up in the North Pole
The pressure of the season was taking its toll
Deadlines and long hours were causing some stress
“Some”...

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     My mop and I have a long history,
     Some of it fun,
    ...

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Twas the night before Christmas, and I couldn't sleep,
so I left my bed; without so much as a peep.
And headed to the kitchen for something...

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There was an old lady from London,
Who had a son called Brandon,
He travelled to the moon,
Came back on a noon,
With an alien friend called Mystidon.



November...

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Twas the night before Christmas, socks were hanging in every house 
Some were old, some were new, and unwashed there were few
Animals were happy too,...

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The plumbing here is atrocious
With clattering so ferocious
It spits and splats, like angry cats
And can also; be quite precocious

Just a tiddle, as with its handle...

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. This is not a game nor for fun, 
until you really finally get to know that someone. 

They were...

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     My Friend Joe

          "Good morning,Hello."
      ...

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Oh here comes North pole Santa Claus,
don't come down the chimney 'cause
you have put on, too much weight,
the belt can barely keep straight,
no more cookies...

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Lip-locked lust.
Bust to bust.
Eye to eye.
Thigh to thigh.

Twice a week.
Cheek to cheek.
Nose to nose.
Toes to toes.

Not a peep.
Sleep to sleep.
Back to back.
Crack to crack....

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