Rhyme Funny Poems | Examples
These Rhyme Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Rhyme. These are the best examples of Funny Rhyme poems written by international poets.
My Sweet Girl
Giddy baby, giggles and dimples,
hardly ever cried
Except when time for Mommy’s awaking,
With patient eyes she spied.
Humming with gurgling baby sounds,
Hair wispy softly curled,
Watching down the hall to catch me,
By precious, my sweet girl.
Quietly at play all the while,
two fingers in her mouth,
By chance If hearing my door open,
Only then she cried aloud.
If I could skip across the hall,
Bathroom just across from my room,
It must be done without a sound
I would quickly zoom.
But if she saw me my sweet girl,
would loudly make it known
Cries interpreted “Aha! I see you!
Your cover has now been blown!”
Don’t be a Cinderfella
I aint no Cinderella
get off your **** and mow
don’t watch the weeds all grow.
Now if we’re being truthful
I need you to be useful
cause I don’t need no boy
I don’t want no toy.
I need a real damn man
who likes to lend a hand
someone to meet my needs
not afraid to take the lead.
If you can’t bring to the table
everything you are able
then take a bloody hike
get on ya pussy bike.
Don’t need no Cinderfella
cause I aint no Cinderella
I like to get things done
throw in a little fun.
A real man provides protection
has a real connection
Is a calm within the storm
has a heart that’s really warm.
A real man aint no Cinderfella
He shouldn’t need no Cinderella.
Chick - Chick - Chick - Chick - Chicken!
Write a little verse for me.
You've got romance in you
To share for all to see.
Chick - Chick - Chick - Chick - Chicken!
There's no need to shy away.
Let the juicy ink get flowing
Steam a saucy verse today!
As you've said, I'm Chick - Chick - Chicken
Could my face burn brighter red?
I'm afraid these special verses
Are only for my book and in my head.
So... this little Chick - Chick - Chicken
Will keep clucking on her funny way.
If she stews some saucy verses
She will send them to you private-lay...
Before I start this poem, I seek
To acknowledge that I sit on the land of the Wequaeesgeek
And that my laptop, at which I peer through thick glasses
drowns islands in the Pacific with greenhouse gases.
I know life has always given me the edge
Due to my Jewish Ashkenazi privilege.
And being male I'm in the patriarchy
At the top of the oppressive hierarchy.
I apologize for my pronoun being 'he'
At least it could have been 'they' or 'we'.
I apologize that all these apologies are fake
And for the real apologies that I didn't make.
Now back to my poem, it occurred at night
I can't let that idea fade, take flight
I didn't have a pen; I should have written it quick
I've lost the thread and now I feel sick.
When I went looking
For it today
I noticed that a certain Emoji
Has gone astray!
I thought I hadn't seen it,
Skipped past it and missed.
Several times I've searched
And it is not on my list.
It really comes to something
When out of your control,
On your own device,
An Emoji goes AWOL....
It's a funny looking thing
For its eyes are not placed
In a central position
But either side of its face!
With is mouth in shock,
It somehow got away
For I can't find it anywhere!
This Emoji went astray.
A billionaire died
after swallowing a bee.
I'm glad it wasn't you,
I'm glad it wasn't me.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Never used an umbrella
He dodged raindrops
Like a criminal flees cops
Wiggling like a bowl of jello
Put a clothesline over my front steps
hung my sweaty athletic wear over there
Amazon delivered a package
placed it strategically, under that line
Porch thieves came and took just one sniff
~ on this one they all whiffed
I am the warm embrace that breaks the chill,
The steady anchor when the waters rise,
I am the quiet peace that cures your ill,
The golden truth beneath untroubled skies.
I hold your trembling hand against the storm,
I guide your tired steps into the light,
To keep your fragile, weary spirit warm,
And watch you safely through the darkest night.
I am your faithful shield, your closest friend,
The heart that beats in rhythm with your own,
I promise I will guard you to the end,
So you will never have to walk alone.
Step closer now, and let me lock the door—
I am the surgeon, and you are on the floor.
He is not the brightest of guys
alone he could not survive
If he counts to twenty two
he removes both his shoes
Twenty he can count but ask for a hand
he needs more digits to understand
Draw a picture for Richard
Draw a picture for Richard
His name is Nick
but gets called a Dick
Draw a picture for Richard
He doesn't mean to be impolite
a coward he avoids all fights
He works all week but never gets paid
cause he is at the wrong place everyday
He gets fifty ballots in the mail
he votes each one no big deal
If they send them to him he votes to win
but it's last election that snail mail
Draw a picture for Richard
Draw a picture for Richard
His name is Nick
but gets called a Dick
Draw a picture for Richard.
(To be sang to the tune of:
"I'm A Little Teapot" - nursery rhyme.)
I'm a little tear drop
Clear and round.
I'm filled with the thoughts no voices sound.
I can be of sorrow, laughter, fears.
Watch... me fall while I scream cheers!
I'm a little tear drop
Clear and round.
Where do I go when I splash down?
It is not a mystery to be solved.
I dis...appear when I disolve!
Walking down a country road
I fell upon a baby bear talking with a hare.
They look like they were long time friends that didn't have a care.
How are you today said the baby bear standing up with his arms in the air.
I have a little problem today said the hare
But no one seems to care.
I can't seem to find where I put my carrots yesterday
I have looked everywhere even in the barn in the big stack of hay.
My carrots seem nowhere to be found.
My friend can you please help me track them down.
The two friends wandered off
In search of the carrots,
Along the way they found a trail that led them to a feret.
The ferret had a belly ache
You see he ate all of hare's carrots..
What a naughty feret
I was sitting on the corner, stoned
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned
How could this be, she rests in peace
Right beside my loving niece
I answered the phone, and my auntie said
"I know you think that I am dead."
"I'm alive,"- my auntie moaned
Or- could it be that you're just- "Stoned."
I clutched my phone to fix the sound
yet no solution could be found.
But then it rang- heard loud and clear
“I'm coming for you, nephew dear.”
Those scary words made my hair stand
Opened my eyes to see firsthand
My auntie's speaking right to me
"You had a dream- it's time for tea."
He revels in spasms of sarcasm
Laughter from now to the hereafter
Peels off insults like a snake sheds it skin
The better his audience to capture
Inside his brain one-liners a-churning
to be dispensed for nightly earnings ...
In his heart of hearts he despises his craft ~
Wishes he were anything but daft
my robot friend and me
got caught in the rain you see
pouring rain
hope no pain
now we call him Rusty