Long Funny Poems

"Okay, tell me, who's gonna be next?"
said the writer of the too-long text.
"No, please, not me," said the lean noun.
"Cut that fat verb there, two lines down."
And they all watched with their faces vexed.
The women...

Read More

AFTER THE KARCHER FIRE LOUD SILENCE FBI AGENTS WERE GETTING CLOSER CIRO GARGANO WAS NERVOUS UNRAVELING THE CREW STORED THE CONTENTS OF THE TAILOR SHOP IN THE GARAGE AT LAKE COUNTY MUSIC COMPANY THE GARAGE...

Read More

AFTER RETURNING FROM THOMAS MANN TOWN OF MUNICH GERMANY DAYCARE TEACHER FOR USAF FORT SHERIDAN ARMY BASE JUST A STAY AT HOME MOM HOW I BECAME A RETARDED POET IT WAS ACTUALLY AFTER TRANSFERRING MY...

Read More

I hate it when a girl rolls her eyes,
because that means she's on to my lies.
And then it's harder to get her
to let me under her sweater,
and then on to the ultimate prize.
I never once...

Read More

BEING AN FBI INFORMANT WEARING WIRES PREGNANT BUYING WEAPONS AND DRUGS FOR THE FBI ARLINGTON HEIGHTS ILLINOIS CHICAGO HAD BEGUN TO TRIGGER UNWANTED EMOTIONS AS I SAT BEHIND MAROON DRAPES PANTING CIRO GARGANO ARSON MURDERER...

Read More

I GAVE AN OATH WEARING WIRES PREGNANT FOR THE FBI ARLINGTON HEIGHTS CHICAGO FIELD OFFICE TIMES WERE VERY HARD BACK THEN I WAS SO YOUNG WITH SMALL CHILDREN RETURNING FROM GERMANY MILITARY WIFE WHEN THE...

Read More

(Created using the bAbBlE sentence generator, various text excerpts, and a minuscule bit of human editing.) 

And she smells good without keeping all ...

Beef, sitting lonely on that lies floating on the tufted floor. "Surely,"...

Read More

For ten months now I’ve brooded over coming second place
in the pickle section deeming, it no less than a disgrace.
It was written plain and simple, so there can be no excuse,
that the pickles in this...

Read More

This is the story of mad Molly Shaw
She might be mad now but she wasn’t before
she came home to find her man dead on the floor
She lay down her bible and let out a roar...

Read More

On an early morning just before school
My tummy is churning my head hurts too
My feet are cold my forehead is hot
I have a runny nose and a tongue with blue dots

“Mom come quick!” I helplessly...

Read More

Just enough to make it just
I want this to be enough to make this
The last song ever, the last note ever
The last romantically, poetically sad excuse for an apology, epilogue
But I've already messed up the...

Read More

Dad hit me only once, an upper cut to the solar plexus. It nearly lifted me off my feet. I was 17 then and already fairly tall, 6’1.” He was 48 and of medium height,...

Read More

She looked at him concerned
"Oh my God, we forgot the buns!"
A barbeque happening
Guests arriving
Coals flaming
Food prepared
But nothing to put burgers on
For their housewarming

Hasty instructions and some cash
From his Lover and her roomies
Then he starts to...

Read More

Currents
by Michael R. Burch

How can I write and not be true
to the rhythm that wells within?
How can the ocean not be blue,
not buck with the clapboard slap of tide,
the clockwork shock of wave on rock,
the...

Read More

I.
He was patient very-very
with child's tenderness in eyes
yellow winged angel's unwary,
He was living quiet in skies.
Without disputes, without roughness, 
without want to weep and moan,
He was dreaming among heartless
building cloud castles alone.
He was waking up...

Read More

I AM HERE MY HEART SWOLLEN AGAIN THEE SEVERE IDENTITY FRAUD MY ABUSIVE EX HUSBAND HIS JAMAICAN TALIBAN FEMALES DRUG CARTEL FROM 15TH ST STREET TAMPA BAY ARRIVED TO END MY LIFE HIS MISTRESS J...

Read More

I'd like to apply for a permit
for a protest march
on the Washington Mall.

Lovely idea.
But, we're only issuing Mall permits
for Song and Dance Events.

I think this might be a violation of my Rights
to Free Speech.

I see...

Read More

From ISIS to J HORE totally 
unafraid of the JIHAD domestic 
threat arriving to end my 
life over my American poetry 
accompanying Rasta yago 
waving a 9MM driving a 
Tahoe parked next to her 
dark...

Read More

YinYin,
what did you most appreciate
learning at school this summer?

Probably in Community ReForesting.
You know, the EcoTherapy Class
I took
instead of eating lunch,
using "lunch" loosely
as synonymous with edible,
or at least tangentially related to edibility.

Oh yes, that one.
What stands...

Read More

Oasis
by Michael R. Burch 
 
for Beth
 
I want tears to form again
in the shriveled glands of these eyes
dried all these long years
by too much heated knowing.
 
I want tears to course down
these parched cheeks,...

Read More

The pencil now resting the image was 'testing' for the creature before him, (his badly-drawn drawin') had come out 'not right' somewhat twisted and tight.

The picture in question, it burst with suggestion, for lines that...

Read More

Once Upon a Time Everything was Perfect in Eden, NSW, Australia

This is a story about why snakes are reluctant to leave whenever you see them. 
Why they hang about, instead of scurrying off.
A reluctant snake...

Read More

[This poem 'No God Of  Mine' was seemingly confounding readers as
to its meaning. Ordinarily, if I felt a poem wasn't  cutting it, I'd delete
it, but on this occasion, I've been asked to explain it... so here goes.]


By...

Read More

Sonnets XC-XCVII

Artificial Smile
by Michael R. Burch

I’m waiting for my artificial teeth
to stretch belief, to hollow out the cob
of zealous righteousness, to grasp life’s stub
between clenched molars, and yank out the grief.

Mine must be art-official?zenlike Art?
a...

Read More

CRISIS SESSION FBI HUMAN RESOURCE DIVISION NON-REDACTED
FBI: HELLO WHAT IS YOUR EMERGENCY

AGENT BROWN: HELLO THIS IS AGANT BROWN AND THAT DARK PLACE IS RETURNING AGAIN I AM IN CRISIS AGAIN 

FBI: OKAY WE ARE HERE...

Read More