Kids Funny Poems

Let’s not make a scene—
not in front of the metaphor-curious.
We owe them a semblance
of shared syllabic stability.

You take Tuesdays,
I’ll keep weekends and the enjambments.
Let’s split...

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I saw her in a meadow high
Where red flowers touch the sky
Her eyes were mournful, so much inside
I looked within, skepticism died

(chorus)
I'm in love with...

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A friend said, rather smugly,
you can't be "pretty ugly";
and where is the good,
and what is the likelihood
of one being "clearly misunderstood"?

An expression he's also dismissing
(or...

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I’m drunk, but you’re beautiful,
a line I used to rehearse.
The Dreamers’ artistic longing felt noble,
but it came with a curse.
I bought the ticket when I...

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There once was a girl from the south
Who had a hard time with her mouth
Boy with same issue said, (S)"poon!"
She said, "Not poon! We...

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When parents tell their offspring 
the definition of a fling
they also include
the story that may sound crude
about the birds and the bees
and Tarzan from the...

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Jelly roll

Watch em fall
Sadness of a lost season 
No time to reach out and touch a life or a song

Jelly roll
Theres so much a child...

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Barbie, Atari, He-man 
Batman, She-Ra, Ronald Reagan
Lower student loans, and landline phones
The Dark Crystal and around 5.2 billion people 
Andre the Giant’s Honeycomb commercial 
Rainbow...

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Gothic Pets

Must of conjured up three demon cats from the depths of hell
What Halloween mischief does their presence foretell
Cat-lions roar, mincemeat!
Kids scared off with no...

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Barnabas Dracula Kitty

Barnabas darts deep in my closet each dawn
I go feed him at sunset but poof he’s gone
On Halloween night
I spot Barny in flight
His...

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Naughty Children

Naughty children pick their nose's
And smear their clothes
Playful and mischievous
They belong to Jesus

Naughty kids are fast kids
They catch butterflies
With big smiles they show you
How...

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My basset puppy ran off with my essay
She even stole my mail
She cleaned out all the fridge
and wagged her funny tail

She went through all my...

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I want to tell a funny story,
About this certain candle I had bought. 
“We’ll have a romantic night in”
This is the first thing I thought....

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Then, the Good Old Days
Better than what’s now, always
This law, all obeys

When, in good times past
Bygones better, Everlast
Nows always surpassed

And, back further still
Even better then,...

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Instead of acting like you’re in mourning
Add a smile and say good morning

Instead of walking around with a frown
You can be happy without being a...

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