Kids Funny Poems

Leftovers

Don’t let Christmas come in too much of a hurry
I really can’t handle one more turkey curry
The kids now want something else for their teas
So...

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The reindeer and Santa proceed at a canter
On a sleigh made of magical wood
They’ve gone to fill shelves with gifts made by elves
For all the...

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Hear Santa sneaking through your house.
It's him you think is squeaking.
With hips going thump on table sides
as clumsiness goes reeking.

When suddenly you hear the sound
of...

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What Rudolf intends is to delay

By feigning nosebleed  so he can say--

“Overtime price... not quite great"

Tells Santa dear,  kids must wait,

Till your big...

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Santa Claus came into town,
Riding ruby red techno-
digital sleigh complete with
iPad, iPhone too.

His reindeer flying beside
Him for effect, they refused 
to retire and kids do...

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His suit neatly pressed on the chair by his bed
His long white beard combed and the reindeer all fed
His snow boots all polished till shiny...

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Deer Colette,

Thank u four the sweater. Eye did knot no it wood cost that much. It was hire than eye thought. Eye love it! U...

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‘Twas the night before Christmas - the family knocked
on the door, then came in... man, I thought it was locked!
They brought me some décor, they...

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The Christmas Mouse
T'was the night before Christmas
And with everything done
The kids were all dreaming
Of Christmas Day fun
The tree was completed
We had wrapped all the toys
When...

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'Twas the night before Christmas the kids were in bed,
and visions of bicycles rolled in their heads;
the bright shiny flyers of candy cane red,
and all...

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We bullies jeered and we hooted.
We were big and bad and mean.
We told everyone he tooted
We called him Navy Bean.

We made fun of his homemade...

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Hopping little bunny loved the store,
Hidden by the trees near the shore,
She loved candies and playing outdoors.
‘Stranger danger” her mommy said,
Little bunny didn’t listen she...

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A conversation between me and my son a few years ago about the man who jumped out of the balloon from the stratosphere

I was trying...

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Slightly late, I ran into school 
Exuberantly yelled, “I’m here!”
Senile secretary Miss Mule
Gave me a tiny silent cheer.

“A teacher is missing!” 
She sang out to...

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I had no idea how long I had been in this heavenly paradise, but I had been searching for one soul for quite a while.
Searched...

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I decided to have an Andy Griffith moment with Tyler and Violet last night and brought them outside to check out the once every century...

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I‘m the girl with a squint,
Looking rather distinct,
Cos my left eye goes walking -
It won’t take the hint.

Little kids stop and stare,
And then loudly declare,
That...

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I use to laugh at ironic things
No punishment for the bad deeds
The Bible says that good 10 fold 
The universe returns to us in gold...

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You can probably tell I've always been inspired by Slim Shady 
By the way I rhyme words and the fact my pen's crazy
I'm the equivalent...

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I'm tired of rappers bragging about things that make no sense
We get it, you're going to have sex with our girls because you're unable to...

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