Kids Funny Poems | Examples
These Kids Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Kids. These are the best examples of Funny Kids poems written by international poets.
Out back are stacks
of lumber
Kids play hide-and-seek
back there
Some get hurt and cry
It is serious
Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka
Seemed sturdy as a *Tonka-
Yet he gave kids minty sugar blades of grass
While fizzy lifting drinks made them rise with gas!
Willy Wanka & The Chocolate Factory: Book Author: Roald Dahl.
1971 Film Screenplay: Roald Dahl and David Seltzer (uncredited).
Casper the Friendly Ghost
was youthful and wanted one thing the most;
each show he searched to find and make friends.
kids always ran; maybe the wispy can't plan solid ends.
Calendar commences, conviviality,
kids kvetch knishes cold,
cantaloupe crappy,
kids constantly crunching cookies,
cake, candy.
Could kayaking, canoeing, camping
in Canada cure cantankerous
children's contention?
Can caddying at the country club
conquer kid's complaining?
chaos could conduce calamity,
kindred claiming complete cuckoo-ness,
summer sanity-stealing s'mores scavengers!
‘Here come some more of them
Plenty of little kids too
Time to put on our funny faces
Entertain them for a while’
‘Chase each other round and round
Make lots of high-pitched sounds
Swing from vine to vine, almost falling
Miraculous recoveries our signature calling’ ...
Like clowns in a circus, they put on quite a show
Yet what’s in a monkey’s heart, no one really knows
A friend said, rather smugly,
you can't be "pretty ugly";
and where is the good,
and what is the likelihood
of one being "clearly misunderstood"?
An expression he's also dismissing
(or as kids say, "dissing"),
is so silly: "found missing".
And you can bet money
no one is "seriously funny".
Few people are ever cowed,
or have to get loud,
speaking to a "small crowd",
and (sorry if it's crass):
what exactly is "liquid gas"?
There once was a girl from the south
Who had a hard time with her mouth
Boy with same issue said, (S)"poon!"
She said, "Not poon! We say, "poon!"
Correcting his speech without doubt.
To thin girl we constantly had to say,
"Pull up your pants, the moon shines not in day!"
She noticed my shirt, cut low...
"Mrs.Crystol! Your buttcrack shows!"
Sure enough, too much cleavage on display!
Barnabas Dracula Kitty
Barnabas darts deep in my closet each dawn
I go feed him at sunset but poof he’s gone
On Halloween night
I spot Barny in flight
His sharp fangs and black cape greeting kids on the lawn
My basset puppy ran off with my essay
She even stole my mail
She cleaned out all the fridge
and wagged her funny tail
She went through all my papers
and threw them on the floor
Oh that crazy basset
She almost broke the door
I did not stop her
I wanted to find out more
And that is when I realized
Her tongue could clean the floor
She brought me so much joy
I really couldn't complain
This crazy basset dog of mine
Put sunshine into my life and kept away the rain
Whenever I was sad
She'd lay her cute head on my lap
She wouldn't eat or move
Until I took a nap
I couldn't believe my eyes
When she ran off with a broom
She skidded all over the tiles
And brought new meaning on to how to clean a room
Then, the Good Old Days
Better than what’s now, always
This law, all obeys
When, in good times past
Bygones better, Everlast
Nows always surpassed
And, back further still
Even better then, until
The best be all's it’ll
But, this trend is woe
Each past better than then's now
Life keeps getting worse
‘Till, the Now-a-Days
At the bottom of the hill
Things aren't looking up
No, they’re not and won’t
All generations to come
The next Kids Today
There was a fruit seller named Schaber
And she was a peculiar neighbor
With kids named Cherry
Apple and Blueberry
Who were all the fruits of her labor
Well sometimes she would drop by
And have a weird look in her eye
But that made us wary
With kids named berry
When she offered us homemade pie
Then one day moved in butcher Pete
Who named his kids after meat
Like T-bone and Chuck
Porky and Buck
So at picnics no one would eat
We kids were wait, waiting for Santa Clause;
Oh, even my cat was tapping her paws.
With wrapped Christmas toys obsessed;
With true "meaning" not yet blessed.
While downstairs with our gifts was. . . Daddy Claus'
______________________
November 27, 2022
Poetry/Limerick/Waiting For Santa
Copyright Protected, ID 11-1505-014-27
All Rights Reserved, 2022, Constance La France
Written for the Premiere contest, A Funny Christmas
or December Holiday Limerick
sponsor, Tania Kitchin, Judged 12/03/2022
*Image of Gender Gap by TLNT.
Parity Parody
I was just twenty, was young and healthy, and I said let's dance,
Turned to you Big Ben, said, first kiss say when, you said not a chance.
I was now thirty, I played a small bit, sort of a big hit,
They made me a clown, the small kids attacked, Pennywise from IT!
I planned at forty, thought to be sporty, got you a "Hottie"
Till out of the cake, in his birthday suit, grandson went potty.
I knew at fifty, what do I get for one with everything,
That's when you said a set of Bone China, two cats from Beijing.
I had turned sixty, said you're pretty, but I said something dumb,
Turned where glass is, eyes like molasses, I said you're wearing them!
2022 August 15
At five fifty pounds he was fat
he looked silly just wearing a hat
Mrs. Clause was turned off
when his clothes he would doff
so no kids would inherit that hat
Have you heard of my friend, Cauliflower Jackson?
Raised 17 boys and 11 girls working for Matson.
He jumped a train to Idaho,
Now all his kids are outside my window.
You recall a Samantha Guntwrench?
Assistant librarian, only spoke French.
Other day she jumped off the library roof and landed in the water.
Now she's lying on my kitchen floor thinking she's my daughter.
You recollect a Lil' Johnny Bieranbrat?
Why you lookin' at me like that?
He used to jump the fence and ride the gorillas at the zoo.
Until finally one day the gorillas do what the gorillas do.
They invited him to their cousin's party, my boss,
As it turns out, though we're leaving for it now, wanna join us?