Witty Poems | Examples

Premium Member Witty and Wacky

  
       Asked the census-taker, at once witty and wacky
           Are you two married, or are you happy

       We replied, We’re happily married 40 years now
          ~ For a couple married for 55, that’s a real WOW

Witty Combination

Okra and ripe apple 
Cucumber and tomato
Sweet potato and ripe pear
Banana with honey and mango
Pungent, white radish, and muskmelon

Bugs Bunny

Bugs Bunny loves his carrot snack,
He tricks his foes and never looks back.
“Eh, what’s up, doc?”—his teasing cue,
A clever rabbit who’s quick and shrewd too.


Poet’s Note:
Inspired by Bugs Bunny’s famous 1940 line, “Eh, what’s up, doc?”.

         (\(\ 
         (-.-) 
         o_(")(")   Eh, what’s up, doc?


Lovely weather for Dunners' ducks

Lovely weather for Dunners' ducks (tongue in cheek peek at Dunedin's historic deluge)


"Stares upstairs..

Angels’ weeing above..

Be a good chap..

Show some love bruv..

Turn off the tap..

*****
No refuge from the subterfuge of the deluge..

Parched sandbag phalanxes..

Ranks marching in flanks..

Arching across busted banks..

Quaffing..scoffing..downpour spanks..

**********
Disbelief at the leisurely river Leith..

Despairing at it baring...glaring..teeth

Hurling....haring to unsheaf grief..

Mischief rashly unfurling…

Brashly whirling beneath.

Bawdry..tawdry thief...

******
Baffled..can't they see...squiffy South D in a jiffy downed..

Snaffled..drowned and raffled to the sea..

Don't they care...iffy white caps slaps..won't perhaps spare even sniffy..

Snooty..spiffy St Clair..

****
This rain ruckus.. pluvial palaver...

Whichever not whatever...

It totally sucks..

Planet forever in..

Fluvial flummoxed flux..

Tis rather lovely weather..

Though for Dunedin's ducks.."

Asian '-ation'

Men are like "asians" (-ation) not the ones from the far east, but the ones who fall weak.
The ones who seek validation through manipulation for their gratification somehow thinking they should get a congratulation for their uncertain manifestation.
The ones who play games like life is a play station, but fail to realize they create their own demise of this devastation.
Yet they colonize a civilization of hallucination for women to fall victim for their celebration.
Living in their own world of separation instead of integration as if we don't need one another for concentration.
Sad world we live in with these men.
Now don't get me wrong, not showing discrimination, women too can also be "asians" (-ation).
But this ain't about us, right now I'm on the men "asians" (-ation) with no hesitation.
We all should do some reevaluation in order to get some elevation, but before we do that, we have to come to realization not to bring aggravation to our generation.

Riding Hood Truth or Dare

Why Little Red Riding Hood
Seems you're steppin' out
Dodgin' bullets and pullin' clout
And what happened to the Grandma stop
Did she want you out?
The whole forest heard her shout
So come on, what was that all about?

Ohh my hooded and cloaked babydoll
You are a vision of vixen
An icon of dazzling brilliance, beautiful and thrilling
Your hot breath on my neck is chilling
Blackness, Darkness in a jar
Your Ying with my Yang
Playin' chicken in different cars
Together we could go so far
So why then are we slammin' shots in this dive bar?

Little Red Ridin' Hood, with thigh-high red leather boots
Long red gloves, blood-red lips, and eyes of black
A David Bowie moment or a panic attack
Take it all back
Cuz diz fairy tale been cracked
And a poetic daybreak is a matter of fact
So you go girl
Little Red Ridin' Hood hit that trail, I got yer back
And the brothers Grimm - well they'll be checkin' in
Dealin' Sin and with the help of all things heinous and supernatural
Let the games begin
White horse, black heart, Little Red Ridin' Hood
Take your start


Premium Member Bigfoot Yeti Sasquatch Yowie poem

The Abominable Snowman
May try to melt into obscurity,
Yeti remains a glittering star
On the ecological ladder,
After a very, very long climb.

Yes indeed:
Bigfoot is a leg-end 
In its own time!

Premium Member Christmas poem Wisdom In Triplicate

Heading into Bethlehem ...
Three Wise Men, 
In search of a stable.

Heading out of Bethlehem ...
Three Wise Turkeys,
While they were - still able.

Premium Member he considers himself witty

if he was half as witty as he thought
he would be making millions of dollars as a comic
he thinks he is a professional wisecracker
a train of witticisms travels out of his mouth
hitting anyone and everyone in the eye
quips, gags, jokes and jest are his daily tools
his relatives have tired of most of them already

Premium Member Witty humor

What keeps me going in life

The Fam

Mu uncle Franklin
was a pro wrestler.
He lit up a room
like Nikola Tesla.

My aunt Judy
was a cake maker.
Her cakes were tall
like an LA Laker.

My brother Steve
played video games
-until my mom Kate
called him names.

Kate, to her credit
was a fine, fine artist.
But with brains, forget it.
I am the smartest.

Witty Biddy Kitty Horn Haiku

saw pretty kitty
who was little and biddy
being very witty

Premium Member Pretty Witty

        
         Very easy to feel pain 
         in distress of any one
         Not that easy to be 
         happy in happiness of other.
          Enjoy also bliss of other.

         If you can share sorrow, 
         your grief will be less.
         Share other’s sorrow being selfless.
         When you share your happiness,
          joy will go more intense.

          Common sense, not so common 
           in common populace as expected.
          A natural event follows logic.
           When falsehood shown as fact, 
           It termed a Magic

Premium Member You Look Nice

“Don’t you look nice!”, the waitress said
she left to get our ordered bread
	as his black coffee cooled
	he said, “You’ve got her fooled,”
and I went home and hid my head

Waiting: Chess Came Resumes

Complications why?
Let's make it a bit simple,
Don't think a lot!
Pop that brainstorming pimple!
I am waiting for you!
To play the next move!
Don't try things new!
I am waiting!
Its your move!
*checkmate*
Oh come on!

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