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The Chronicles Of Vomiticus Grammaticus - Part II: Ground Zero

Chris D. Aechtner Avatar Chris D. Aechtner - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled The Chronicles Of Vomiticus Grammaticus - Part II: Ground Zero which was written by poet Chris D. Aechtner. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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The Chronicles Of Vomiticus Grammaticus - Part II: Ground Zero

Will someone please help me!?
I think Satan has possessed my gastronomical juices,
twisting up my stomach like a full garbage bag.

Please go and call over a Priest
to exorcize this demonic grip from within-
but I beg of you to get a heterosexual Father,
not one who will take advantage of my weakness.

I have been swallowing my own vomit for many days,
and can no longer hold back this thick, spewing craze.

My stomach feels more queasy than a seasick little girl,
the time is coming to launch forth my most foul hurl.

Pray to Black Jesus with my loud, retching vomit-song,
I do not want to be Vomiticus Grammaticus, for too long.


Oh! I just filled up both large-sized garbage bins up to the brim,
with ghastly floating chunks that look so very, very grim.

Two seagulls have started slurping up my rancid spew,
filthy, feathered swine, lapping up this most sickly stew.

Ugggh! Now my cat is licking up the vomit from off of the floor,
she is purring away, gobbling up my slimy, viscous gore.

The sight of her lapping up my....


Oh hot damn, shazzam! Vomit on the keyboard! Vomit dripping from my hair;
plugging up my ears, crawling up my nose with its terrible stench! Despair!

1 fish, 2 fish, 3 fish, 4 fish.
Red puke, green puke, yellow puke, blue puke.
No Sam, I do not want any more green eggs and ham!


Will someone please help me get rid of this Devil!?
I truly only mean well; I really, really do!

Pray to Black Jesus with my loud, retching vomit-song,
I do not want to be Vomiticus Grammaticus, for too long.

*Twisted poem, in the sense that this is actually a cryptic response
to my personal dealings here
I don't think a lot of people realized at the time
how Vomiticus Grammaticus was really a hidden message about
some of the social politics that goes on,
and most other group settings as well.

May 10th, 2010

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  1. Date: 7/25/2011 1:46:00 PM
    Chris, I had to read this a couple of times,,,, I think its essence is captured in the first lines. My father told me … "the reason men have an Adams Apple is because we swallow a lot of s**t." Its okay to purge once in a while, because even though it may not suit the masses, someone will relish it. Thanks for the spew… I needed that!

  1. Date: 7/23/2011 1:04:00 PM
    hahaha, you got a win with this very creative but disgusting one.COOLIO!!! Congratulations to you.

  1. Date: 7/23/2011 9:37:00 AM
    I read about this poem so I had to look it up. Nicely done! Mike

  1. Date: 7/22/2011 6:10:00 AM
    Congrats Chris on a super special win .. now is Vomiticus ever going to rise again? he was so mesmerizing and entertaining and alter egos are all the rage and in vogue u know my friend... am thinking of inventing one myself..oh..

  1. Date: 7/22/2011 5:51:00 AM
    hehe, Chris I had a look at the comments, they had me lmsao :-) Congratulations on your win :D it is a good thing I had lunch already :)

  1. Date: 7/22/2011 5:27:00 AM
    Congratulations on the win with your wonderful poetry in P.D.'s contest Chris. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 7/22/2011 2:26:00 AM
    Chris, holy suffering gob smacked moley, you'll put me orf me tukker, very graphic funny duck stuffer(wont rhyme:) you have me chuckling here:) great work mate! Don never mind them bloody pakistanis, the enemy hey:)

  1. Date: 10/19/2010 9:47:00 AM
    well enjoy lunch-- me I am off to sleep in a bit and haha I can see now it's gonna be riddled with typos-- do you realize you kept typing "Vomitcus" so I had to check whether it was that or Vomiticus?? will look forward to reading those writes when I log back in--good for you for trying to beat your addiction __ I just wonder how Vomit(i)cus will help?? curiouser & curiouser...

  1. Date: 8/7/2010 8:44:00 PM
    There you Go this was your EGO name...((vomiticus grammaticus)) lol,, my ego name is P.D. :D awesome....That answers why Nate has so many names,,p.d.

  1. Date: 8/7/2010 8:42:00 PM
    You know very well Nate the great is Nathan Dilts,,, LOL all them dummies named him (Nate the great.) King Mandalay must be his ego name.. What was your ?? Gosh I forgot.. Your ego name.. You where duh! Ha ha ha well The cloud 10 Collaboration, I changed to cloud 5 to get him mad.. LOL and it worked...

  1. Date: 7/18/2010 10:37:00 PM
    ahaha. I think I'll have to start charging for my services here!!! :p you're taking away my "comment" time here at the Soup! :p head over to chat & I might help you out with a word or 2-- I'll be charging $200 per word btw :p

  1. Date: 7/18/2010 10:10:00 PM
    hey don't get me wrong though-- I do appreciate you stopping by the gas station and trying to deviate from your usual writing style-- but I guess it's really in you and I can't let you take that away-- you get an A+ for your efforts in veering away from your usual style though :) --nikko:)

  1. Date: 7/18/2010 10:07:00 PM
    nothing like a bit of cramming & pressure to make me eke out one at the last minute! haha I saw there were 29 entries in and i just HAD to enter that!!!! ;P you should have seen me typing away at my keyboard, lol

  1. Date: 7/18/2010 10:06:00 PM
    Chris, haha this is actually very very good and quite an amusing write! Complete with sound effects for a more satisfying experience-- very cool write you have here! & haha I do try to stay away from the new poems page but come on--let me take a wild guess-- or maybe I don't need any HELP with guessing which one is yours? ;) First 2 lines was screaming Chris already! I'll reserve my thoughts about that poem for now though :p thanks btw for the comments about my palindrome! ...

  1. Date: 5/20/2010 11:22:00 PM
    BL BLBL BLAARRRGGG! lol! this is the most delightfully repulsive thing I've ever read! It's shameless... and that's why I love it. xo

  1. Date: 5/13/2010 8:32:00 AM
    Chris, I give you a seven because you almost effortlessly put out some sound, fine rhymes, especiallly in the middle. I think that is where the poem is very strong and I can feel it's compulsive pull best right there. You have a unique talent Cultivate it. The world needs more talent and less gibberish. Regards, Gerard.

  1. Date: 5/12/2010 3:51:00 AM
    Astonishing concept and write, VC! You're always good for a surprise! And thank you for your comments...Gert

  1. Date: 5/11/2010 9:42:00 PM
    *Sigh* All this 'He' godspeak is causing another eruption of vomit to spew forth. Yeah, I understand all of this 'agape' male enery preaching....but seriously, a creation; any creation, needs a postive and negative spark....or both female and male counterparts. Without a womb, there is nothing. For every blackhole, there must also be a white hole. Interesting how those are the colours of the Yin-Yang no?

  1. Date: 5/11/2010 7:29:00 PM
    please excuse typos

  1. Date: 5/11/2010 7:28:00 PM
    our creator created us with free will to choose who we serve and how we serve as when God warned cain what was acceptable sacrifice if he would have followed Abel's example things would have been well but he chose wrong and slew Abel we worship God in spirit and truth thorugh gift of the Holy Spirit he created all things and giveth life to all so he doesn't need idols,images or bulidings to represent him and by grace his he chose us to preach and teach him as taught snd teaches us