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Part Two, I Am Not Racisim, She Is

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Part Two, I Am Not Racisim, She Is

         “And no, car-jackings – sir, do not count as kidnappings!” [Adding in a fast voice…]
         “Especially, after a nigga be looking in the rear view and seeing a fat little black kid already belted up in the back seat – and this kid is now starting to scream his lungs out!”
         “Hell, I always hear of these ‘Karjack Kids’ being dumped off – not at the first, but the second street corner just inside any big city hood. …this is a place where EVERYBODY steers clear of these little tyrants. …Now, why is this you say?”  
       “Well, I think that as innocent sidewalk pedestrian passerby, we’ve all been hardened by the following of incidence at one time or another.” 
          “And I’m not talkin bout a ‘Drive BY’! Because this ain’t one of those ‘cap yo’ ass for no reason why – bye, bye! It’s more of a ‘See ya’ later alligator - shove a kid from off the floor - and out the door and inta the street kinda fly by!’” [Crowd laughs]
        “…And we all know what happens next - right?”
 “Yeah, ca’mon’ I know ya’lI do…, hell, we’ve all lived it!”
         “This is because just like in any crowded Hood, we black people have never really come off strong in the Good Samaritan department. - Man we just – like - mind our own goddamn business! …And please Madonna - just leave us the f#&# alone!” [Crowd roars]
          “…You see, it will be people like her – these, even with good intentions of adopting, as to why you will soon hear of a black baby having been kidnapped for a ransom.” 
        “You see, it was never going to happen here in this country until these white kidnappers, - yes people, I said white kidnappers, - and they changed what we black folk had already long known,  …It was because in this country, until now anyway, we already knew there wasn’t a Black Market for a black man to sell black adopted babies…” [Crowd laughs]
        “A king’s ransom for a black kid…, hmmm?”
        “Man, that’s a whole lotta earmarked money; …and all of it reserved for a greedy Cracker Kidnapper with a human trafficking license!” [While disgustingly laughing himself] …Hell, and even if there ever were any black kidnappers, they still would’ve had to take care of any kid. This would include any found fat black kid kicked to a street curb after his daddy’s Ford Pinto got car jacked! And really, had that risk to a reward of possibly nothing - ever been so entertained by us?” 
        “Yes, I think so…, you know what I mean, like I said earlier, we’ve all been there man! Umm hmm…” [Rubs his ear as if it hurts....]
“…It probably went down something like this: Two black pedestrians be walking down the street, when one of them, a little boy, says, ‘Hey grandma look at that kid sitting over there, he’s all alone and looks hungry! We should…! Hey! don’t he look like my little broth…’ …Whereby now, grandma’s fingers, having already latched firmly onto this grandson by the ear – pulls him along while saying, ‘No, no, no child, there are plenty of social workers around willing to take that little fat black boy to lunch! Child, what are you thinking anyway? Your momma ain’t no Angelima Jolie - ya know… so let’s go watch from over there!’”
       “And as for Madonna, she came back straight from the source!”

Written by David Archuletta

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