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On a Breezy Evening

gautami phookan Avatar gautami phookan - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled On a Breezy Evening which was written by poet gautami phookan. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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On a Breezy Evening

A   breezy  evening,   vernal   blossoms
strewn  across  the  mountain face.
where  my  brood  and  my  kin,
we  herded  out  picnicking;
drinking  in  the  crisp  air  of   spring.

In  picnic  baskets  our  feast;
cheese  rolls,  peaches and  strawberries.                                 
Wafting   aroma   of   food  on   the   grill.

At  their  play,  running  around;
Sons  and  daughters.                      
Their  pure  joy  that  lingers. 
A  lazy  day  on  all  that  lush  green.

Whiff  of  scented  air  sifting  through  the  leaves,
from  somewhere  far  off  scattered  trees.                                 
At  the  foot  of  the  hill  there was,
of  myriad  colors a  shallow  water  pool.
... And  the  lull  waves  of  deep  blue  sea.

Under  our  sun  hats  
trimmed  with  ribbons  and  laces,                              
we  sat  back  and  lay;
soaking  up  the  divine  serenity.

Sometime  then  the  wind  grew  strong,                        
and dark  clouds  loomed  in  the  horizon.
Thrilled  kids  leapt  up high,
Floating  frisbies  caught  adrift.
Girls  exuding  their  unbridled  joy;
their long  pigtails  streaming  in  the  breeze.

An    image    vivid    in    mind,
of    hankies    flying,  
seemed  like  all   had  grown  wings white;
become    meandering    butterflies.


4th place in the contest
For the contest : "Picnic Time"
Sponsored by Carol Brown.                                                 

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  1. Date: 6/24/2011 11:41:00 AM
    A very pleasant and vividly descriptive write. Some lovely imagery here. Regards, Robert.

  1. Date: 5/20/2011 10:57:00 PM
    what a flavorful poem. I recall reading it before and I love it just as much now! Congratulations.

  1. Date: 5/19/2011 3:46:00 PM
    Ah yes Gautami you have seen, lovely picnics verdant green, my death adder is a warning, it happens though maybe Aussies scorning. i write about bushrangers sometimes on ya mate Don

  1. Date: 5/19/2011 9:43:00 AM
    Dear Gautami, Congratulations on your win in Carol's Picnic Contest. Love, Carolyn

  1. Date: 5/18/2011 5:45:00 PM
    Guatami, so great to see you at the top of the list with this classic. Congratulations on your poem's honored success. Agape, MOses

  1. Date: 5/18/2011 11:17:00 AM
    HI GUATAMI-Will u still love me if I called you CAROL? I love Carol's work too, but I know this is you!! ha ha. I think my brain is moving slower than my fingers this afternoon...long day at school! Again, this is wonderful and its relaxing properties is something I need to practice more! Your poetry friend- Gwendolen

    phookan Avatar gautami phookan
    Date: 5/19/2011 10:12:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Nah, no chance I'll not ..sweet !! and I love Carol too, so nice change for awhile :))
  1. Date: 5/18/2011 11:14:00 AM
    Hi Carol- Anything about little girls, piggie tails, and butterflies, count me in-I am gonna love it! I believe you captured so much POETIC MOTION in your winning piece. Much enjoyed. Congratulations- Gwendolen

  1. Date: 5/18/2011 11:10:00 AM
    This is excellent Goutami.Congrats on your win....

  1. Date: 5/18/2011 10:10:00 AM
    ahhhh pigtails and sun bonnets so dreamy! real old school, lovely winning write. Light & Love

  1. Date: 5/18/2011 9:18:00 AM
    How lovely, Gautami. Congratulations on your win. Love, Joyce

  1. Date: 5/18/2011 7:55:00 AM
    you're on a rol, gautami.. applause for the gooody win! :) huggs

  1. Date: 5/18/2011 7:17:00 AM
    Many congrats on both your wins, Gautami : )

  1. Date: 5/18/2011 7:03:00 AM
    Congrats on your win, Gautami. Excellent piece. Nice going. Ralph

  1. Date: 5/18/2011 6:59:00 AM
    My congratulations on the win in the contest of Carol, Gautami

  1. Date: 5/18/2011 6:50:00 AM
    great flow and nicely written, congrats on your win.. cory

  1. Date: 5/18/2011 5:00:00 AM
    Congrats Gautami on your wonderful win in the picnic contest with this delightful write and entry my friend.. enjoy your top spot for excellence today with luv..

  1. Date: 5/18/2011 4:50:00 AM
    Congratulations on your winning poem placing in my contest Gautami. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 5/13/2011 3:13:00 PM
    Oh, how lovely to see the children as "meandering butterflies" at the picnic, Gautami. It sounds like a perfect day for your family. Best wishes for success in Carol's contest and thanks for your comments. Love, Carolyn

  1. Date: 5/12/2011 8:43:00 PM
    wow, this is very COOL and the final verse with its unique imagery was outstanding!!

  1. Date: 5/12/2011 6:04:00 PM
    Wonderful entry for the picnic time, Gautami