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Ode on a Japanese Commode

Roy Jerden Avatar Roy Jerden - LIFETIME Premium Member Roy Jerden - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

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Ode on a Japanese Commode

Thou still unflushed queen of whiteness,	 
Thou wonder-child of science so sublime,	 
Porcelain goddess, who canst thus express	 
Scatology more sweetly than our rhyme:	 
What nether-laved pleasure haunts about thy shape
Of ablutions or massages, or of both,	 
In Nippon or the bay of Napoli?	 
What heated seats are these? What options loth?	 
What aqueous play! No struggle to escape.	 
What pipes and blowers! What wild ecstasy!

© June 13, 2013

With apologies to the ghost of John Keats
"Ode on a Grecian Urn"

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  1. Date: 8/4/2015 2:26:00 PM
    I'd give it a 10 if could. I love it!! Never before has the bathroom experience been elevated to such a position of glory! I just posted a parody of Yeats's "Lake Isle of Innisfree." I hope you'll read it. Janice

  1. Date: 7/29/2015 1:23:00 PM
    My friends have one of these new fangled loos at their place. I always feel like Crocodile what button should I press now lol SuZ Not sure I could write a poem on it but it will be interesting, to say the least, to read the winning poems.

  1. Date: 7/28/2015 7:38:00 AM
    Even harder to bottom!

  1. Date: 7/26/2015 8:35:00 PM
    A lowly subject for such eloquence. Thanks for the example, but it will be hard to top. Joyce

  1. Date: 7/26/2015 4:52:00 PM
    oh my, what a way to do an ode!! Glad I saw your example for us. I hope I can do one as eloquently, if at all!!! I enjoyed the read.

  1. Date: 7/26/2015 5:07:00 AM
    You write about any subject well Roy. I enjoyed this. And having visited Japan many times in my career I used to really dread the Japanese style older squat toilets on the floor. My son who is 6'3" had a terrible time as he lived with his wife in a place that had one. At Osaka Castle they have a huge sign that says Western Toilet and both my son and I were thrilled. I really enjoyed your poem!

    Jerden Avatar Roy Jerden
    Date: 7/26/2015 5:27:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Yeah, I saw some of the squat toilets in Japan, too. They had them in Northern Italy, also. Some people prefer them, as there is no contact with your body. I prefer the modern Japanese ones, however. They have a whole system of segregating different bathroom functions in their homes, and it's very smart and efficient.
  1. Date: 4/9/2014 10:09:00 AM
    A novice way to win ....Great work..Congrats..Sara

  1. Date: 12/28/2013 1:56:00 PM
    LOL Roy! They sound wonderful!

  1. Date: 12/6/2013 9:45:00 AM
    O...K... LOL... Fun read and topic.

  1. Date: 10/30/2013 12:29:00 AM
    Very comical and informative. I have learned something new. Ha! Thanks for the entertaining poem.

  1. Date: 10/28/2013 12:14:00 PM
    Hi Roy A brilliant evocation of a Japanese loo. It brings back many memories of my visit to Japan and the structure and vocabulary are brilliant! Terry

  1. Date: 9/26/2013 10:44:00 PM
    what a fun write that I happened upon . YOu need to come back and make some new posts!

  1. Date: 7/28/2013 10:42:00 AM
    Very amusing nicely done poet

  1. Date: 7/23/2013 3:17:00 AM
    Nice work of art with strong words that are difficult to understand, yet it is imbued with strong symbolism and imagery." What pipes and blowers! What wild ecstasy" I like this line very much.

  1. Date: 6/29/2013 12:06:00 AM
    I must have a quirky sense of humor but This was entertaining.........the title especially so. SuZ

  1. Date: 6/18/2013 11:55:00 AM
    Unique work and quite creative..Enjoyed reading this one today..Must have been a very interesting tirp to see Japan..Thanks for your consoling words on Gail's blog..Sara

  1. Date: 6/15/2013 10:58:00 AM
    lol, I must visit Japan to experience the toilets! Thanks, Roy, enjoyed the contest : )

  1. Date: 6/15/2013 7:19:00 AM
    LOL I took pictures of them! The Japanese sure do have their priorities straight! They take care of the kids, the elderly & EVERYones private parts even the public toilets were so clean! PS regarding your desire for real critiques

    Jerden Avatar Roy Jerden
    Date: 6/15/2013 1:04:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Very helpful information, Debbie. I was about ready to move out of my comfort zone anyway, parodies of Romantic poets aside. Cheers, Roy
    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi
    Date: 6/15/2013 7:19:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    [I know this was a silly verse but a good example!] The publishers don't want rhyme, I can emphasize this enough. They don't want thee, thou's etc either. There are so many new categories and terms for verse it's very hard to keep up style wise. Content wise the market for sci- fi, fantasy, horror & love poems is the biggest. Literary works may be used but way fewer places. L & L
  1. Date: 6/14/2013 10:44:00 AM
    ha! very funny and beautifully written...(i think keats would be amused)

  1. Date: 6/14/2013 7:54:00 AM
    SO funny and clever! Keats is one of my favourite poets - and I think he would forgive you for this ;)