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My First Night

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Below is the poem entitled My First Night which was written by poet Pravallika Apuzzle. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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My First Night

As I laid on the bed
He held and kissed my fore head

Then he slide his hand around the neck
And slightly moved it down the neck

He reached my chest and played around
And then he licked my naval ground

He held me by waist and turned me over
And ran the tip of his tongue all over

He turned me over and held my thighs
And kissed them gently and reached my toes

He licked them one by one
And sent a chill to my spine

He moved ahead towards my waist
Parting the legs with such a gaze

There came a call from his army head
Reminding him of his duties to head

He then left me half the way
And went bidding a bye to me and my bed… 

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  1. Date: 4/1/2012 2:01:00 AM
    Stupendous !! It successfully intoxicates, but leaves with a taste of lack of fulfillment .. which ofcourse is what I understand as target feeling to communicate (the aim of the poem). There definitely is the opportunity to make it more intense and powerful than what already it is.. if I may suggest, add a bit more "meat" (more stanzas), before the duty call arrives.. otherwise, it is too short ;) Needless to say, it hits the reader in the guts. Even a bottle of vodka doesn't match ;)

  1. Date: 8/17/2011 1:16:00 AM
    Hello Saurabh, Glad that you liked it :) with love, Pravs

  1. Date: 8/17/2011 12:38:00 AM
    really erotic parava......