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IODIZED GAZES

nette onclaud Avatar nette onclaud - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled IODIZED GAZES which was written by poet nette onclaud. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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IODIZED GAZES


Jammed like rows of canned fish 
strangers acting strange
on a 6 o’clock bullet train…
labeled as hats or ticket stubs
coughing on dry throats wet
from air-tight decks…
I wonder in curiosity
how skins touching each other’s loneliness
can remain on couches or hand-rests
without looking at each other’s eyes,
as if iodized by hinges
of phlegmatic gazes…alone,

with their screaming, screeching thoughts.



Inspiration from 'Tied To The Train Tacks'
Reimagine, Reinvent, Revamp Contest  
Sponsor: JustThatArchaicPoet

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  1. Date: 10/14/2013 11:39:00 AM
    Metro train trips cause this kind of contemplating to poets. Very often, when I travel, I think of similar images and details. Nice analysis of the process of observation and thinking. G.

  1. Date: 10/14/2013 6:52:00 AM
    oh you are so diverse, what an awesome talent you are,, wish i was Hollywood, i'd come a calling!

  1. Date: 10/12/2013 11:46:00 AM
    A change away from your usual natural landscapes but no less moving. I was entranced by the depth of the emotion you imparted. Well expressed Nette.

  1. Date: 10/12/2013 8:15:00 AM
    deeply penned beautiful piece

  1. Date: 10/11/2013 10:35:00 PM
    Hurting and pretending, so far is bearable for these two until someone takes the blame, saying good bye... Concentrated emotion in this piece, Love it!

  1. Date: 10/11/2013 10:20:00 PM
    Good morning my dear friend Nette! Once more, this is another stunning write of yours but mellowed with sadness. Sad to say that it really happens when there's no enough trust with each other.Loving this and enjoying so much. Thanks a lot for sharing & your precious time stopping by on my poem & the sweet thoughts as well. Many more hugs! Hope all is well there especially the weather. Have a grace-filled weekend! love much & biggest hugs, Leonora

  1. Date: 10/11/2013 9:39:00 PM
    This is surely mesmerizing Nette, kinda like two people on a train who sit next to each other, they might know one another, but are on two separate planes of existence and want to stay there! Such loneliness screams within your poem, and surely jumps off your page! I really enjoyed reading this amazing piece this evening, Great Work!!

  1. Date: 10/11/2013 8:19:00 PM
    Oh mercy me Nette...I remember reading your poems in the past, some of which were about nature, mostly the moon, the stars, etc,...They were VERY good and I thoroughly enjoyed them but now? Wow...You seem to have an edge to your poetry, sometimes exploring the darker side...This poem is a keen observation loaded with insight and great wisdom...LOVE this side of you! - Tim

  1. Date: 10/11/2013 5:35:00 PM
    Wow.. perhaps this is what happens when two people don't love each other enough.

  1. Date: 10/11/2013 2:48:00 PM
    People so near to one-another but worlds apart! Profound!

  1. Date: 10/11/2013 2:29:00 PM
    awesome write here, Nette, and so perceptive. Thanks very much - loved the contest and I see you have a new one! Have a great weekend : )

  1. Date: 10/11/2013 1:01:00 PM
    I've wondered the same. However, looking too closely at someone on a train or in an elevator is taboo, very threatening. The distance between us... Jack

  1. Date: 10/11/2013 11:46:00 AM
    - Hmm .... I think very quiet ... a different poem from you Nette - well done. - Have a beautiful weekend, relax! - oxox // Anne-Lise :)

  1. Date: 10/11/2013 11:36:00 AM
    Some very loud thoughts drifiting around on that bus..Enjoyed reading your uniquely creative work..Thanks for the visit to my page..Sara