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Jeff Kyser is a retired software developer who lives with his wife Frances right ‘round the bend in rural Lacey’s Spring, Alabama. A late comer to the world of poetry, he has been writing contemplative and whimsical pieces on family, on redemption, and on faith for the last several years. His eight grandchildren are the source for much of his inspiration, fueling a desire to spur their imagination and to share his life’s journey with them.


Terzanelle Markup

Blog Posted:4/6/2022 11:06:00 AM

From:  A self-admitted noob

To:      Anyone in a similar situation

 

For any of you who found the PS description of the Terzanelle somewhat lacking, I took the sample poem, Lewis Turco's "Terzanelle in Thunderweather", and marked it up so I could better see which lines were being re-used and where. If this is helpful, great, and if he's used something non-standard, by all means, correct me!

 

I have numbered the lines 1-19 on the left. If a line is in bold, it is a line that is also used elsewhere. If a line is in italics, it is one of re-used lines, with the original line number in parentheses. As an example, line 1, "This is the moment when shadows gather", is reused as line 17, "This is the moment when shadows gather" (1).

 

1 This is the moment when shadows gather

2 under the elms, the cornices and eaves.

3 This is the center of thunderweather.

 

4 The birds are quiet among these white leaves

5 where wind stutters, starts, then moves steadily

6 under the elms, the cornices, and eaves-- (2)

 

7 these are our voices speaking guardedly

8 about the sky, of the sheets of lightning

9 where wind stutters, starts, then moves steadily (5)

 

10 into our lungs, across our lips, tightening

11 our throats. Our eyes are speaking in the dark

12 about the sky, of the sheets of lightening (8)

 

13 that illuminate moments. In the stark

14 shades we inhibit, there are no words for

15 our throats. Our eyes are speaking in the dark (11)

 

16 of things we cannot say, cannot ignore.

17 This is the moment when shadows gather, (1)

18 shades we inhibit. There are no words, for (14)

19 this is the center of thunderweather. (3)

 

A shorthand notation: A1BA2, bCB, cDC, dED, eFE, fA1fA2

(uppercase are lines used twice, lowercase rhyme with corresponding uppers) 

 

Frankly, I hope to learn out here, and will never be offended if someone points out something that is "off". I've made a number of stupid mistakes, including not naming a poem correctly, putting blank lines where they aren't supposed to be, and my favorite, denoting the poem as a part of the contest and then forgetting to enter it!!!



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Date: 4/7/2022 8:42:00 PM
I copied and printed, thank you
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Kyser Avatar
Jeff Kyser
Date: 4/8/2022 4:23:00 AM
I"m getting old, I need a visual, lol. I end up working some of these forms that have repeat lines "backwards", writing the last stanza first to see how they will read...
Date: 4/7/2022 10:51:00 AM
ah, the downfall of our human imperfections. I've been neglectful of entering a contest more than once, and not ashamed to admit my faux pas. When searching the winning list and finding it not there... feeling quite foolish to realize what I'd done... rather... not done.
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Logan Avatar
Jenna Logan
Date: 4/7/2022 11:45:00 AM
as if ;)
Kyser Avatar
Jeff Kyser
Date: 4/7/2022 10:54:00 AM
I mean, because it would have been there otherwise, amiright? :-)
Date: 4/6/2022 2:48:00 PM
Hey, thanks, Jeff. This will be helpful (I think) to folks entering my current contest. Oh, by the way, if you write a good one, don't forget to enter it in my contest. There are, BTW, easier ways to understand the terzanelle. Essentially, two rhymes, middle line is ALWAYS the last line of the following stanza, and the first line of the last stanza is always the only original line in the quatrain. How's that? Hmmm...I think!
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Kyser Avatar
Jeff Kyser
Date: 4/6/2022 4:05:00 PM
Probably the best way is practice, practice, lol. I’ve only done a few and I get all confused with terza Rima, villanelle, terzanelle. Hope I didn’t confuse anyone worse!
Date: 4/6/2022 12:39:00 PM
Jeff, you are truly a poet who carries his own suitcase with a humble heart! I have made so many mistakes and have been the recipient of much grace from other soupers who have become dear friends. Blessings to you on your journey! Thanks for your blog!
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