Dirty Limerick Poems

There once was a cop, Harry C., 
Whose Magnum was quite a sight to see. 
He'd squint and he'd growl, 
At some low-life foul,
 "Do...

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Leprechaun, you have it wrong
You need to sing the barmaid’s song
Bawdy and fun
Raunchy on the run
Words just shy of a dirty bong

Leprechaun, come sit with...

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I writ a poem bout poly-ticks 
Exposing all its dirty tricks
It caused a stir
Ruffled some fur
Cuz there ain’t nothin’ they can’t fix
...

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Moving some boxes, holy crap
Got a dirty big pain in my sacroiliac
Not young anymore
Like was once before
Must take care or my back will crack

...

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There once was a young man from Szechwan,
who thought his dick looked like a pecan.
He met a cutie named Butts,			
who was hankering for nuts,		
so he...

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The snowman’s in deep and dirty.
He’s melting on gal that’s flirty.
     Seems Frosty is bit
     by Frostina’s...

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Tornado blew Dorothy Gale
Across Kansas, her house took sail
Landed with a bug THUMP
On evil witch's rump
I'll try to fill in some detail

Wicked witch got down...

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I’m reading the paper real fast;
Don’t know just how long this’ll last
But my gut gets inflamed
When the culprit (unnamed)
Fills the page with his awful bombast.

By...

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Cheer however life plays its dirty games,
Tears drop only when brains are set on flames.
Sneer only when necessary,
Fear not, when life look scary.
Clear your eyes...

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Some people wind up with twisted knickers
When they get insulted by nitpickers
Words are sticks and stones
Causing moans and groans
When they hear heckling whispers and snickers

Women...

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Your mama so big she a trip
That’s why your daddy did dip
They were loving cousins
Playing dirty dozens
Ann got hit in the lip...

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Now this is my definition of love
It's much like wrestling in the mud
You get down and dirty
And say things quite flirty
Then it all comes together...

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At noon, I heard what sounded like a pop
It continued all eve, and wouldn't stop
Now, it sounds like a peep
Aha! More like a beep
I am...

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That week was the farmer’s convention
Their ladies at home sought attention
Twas Valentine’s night
Thought I’d do alright
I had quite a naughty intention

The farmer’s young wife caught...

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once this fat turkey named terry

its feathers dirty and hairy

gobbled on with glee

i'm leaving you'll see

into a portal less scary.
...

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