Rude Limerick Poems

A vagabond whippet in Scranton PA
Will be your best friend before running away
Neither callous nor rude
He just craves solitude
When open roads call he must always...

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A trio of guys in the nude
encountered old Polly the Prude;
they gasped as she tried
to drag them inside,
while shouting, 'I want to be screwed.'

written 26th...

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In church he longed for the rood
Which forced him to act so rude
The crucifix he wants
In his thoughts he flaunts
To escape and not be pursued...

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A customer was so rude
Her swearing sounded like a dude
Security was call
Then she took a hard fall
And realized right then she was screwed...

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Naughty Johnny's behavior still shocks us
When we try to correct him he mocks us
"My rude behavior
I greatly savor
Just for you, I'll become more obnoxious!"




1/8/2023

Image credit:...

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I’ll apologise here at the start
For this verse won’t appeal to your heart.
So banal, it’s a shame
But I’ll shoulder the blame
’Cos it's not rude, nor...

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Seems Cinderella has now learned;
her fantasies oft left her burned.
Instead of rude princes,
she’s switched to cheese blintzes
and Uber for carriage returns.
...

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I'm a fine host whose good heart is spacious
But some thoughts I let in are pugnacious
They're snotty and rude
Playing golf with my mood
It's a curse...

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A certain poise, the bagpipes lack
Not being rude, it’s just a fact
The kilt is first-rate
The rest, not so great
Red in the face, squeezing your sack...

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When I was a was a boy in Heaven
Mom gave me a disc at seven

it was Chumbawamba
and I heard the tuba

Then one of them by...

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Captain America is a cool dude
He's kind and is brave and is never rude
His shield is his good friend
He uses once again
And he is never...

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A crude young fellow from upstate New York
He never learned to handle a fork
He jabbed at his food
In fact, he was quite rude
And he behaved...

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There's a Poodle so rude and intrusive
His loud barking is shrill and abusive
A busybody pest
An interloper at best
But offers love both true and effusive

5th Place
Sponsor...

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If you would like to have your limerick(s) posted, soup mail them to me.

Ms. Rude is still writing her snide remarks
She sounds like a mad...

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Backyard Betrayal

Mr. and Mrs. McLude
Laid out each day in the nude
A drone hovered by
“I’m cold!” the man cried.
Embarrassed, his wife yelled, “How rude!”
























Date: 02/01/2022
PS syllable...

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