Humorous Poems | Examples

Percussion Maintenance

In the cramped font room we’d sit and stare
At the telly on the blink needing care.
     With a slap on its head,
     While the cussing instead
Was more entertaining than the fair.

SNAIL MAIL

SNAIL MAIL
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Young Stu, with his shell brown and bold,
From the forest post office, he slowly strolled.
     With letters packed on his back galore,
     With slime as his tires, he slowly went to each door,
"Your snail mail's arrived!" he extolled.

“You fool! Haven’t you heard of email?” badger exclaimed
“Of all your slowness, you should be ashamed. 
     “With the click of a mouse 
     You no longer deliver from house to house.”
“But, but…I’ll lose my job,” Stu proclaimed.

“Oh, Stu, you’re so uninformed, so old school.
Your skill set you must totally retool!
     Have you not heard of UPS or perhaps FedEx?
     You can deliver packages and other objects!
“But snails don’t drive. You’re such a fool!”

“Besides, I’m looking forward to my postal pension
Not to mention days without strife and tension.
     And all those Forever Stamps I’ve amassed
     I’ll sell online or on my webcast.
Then with Musk I’ll travel to space, otherworldly dimensions.”

Religion of Dog

(“Loyalty Merit Badge”, 2010, original oil)

Religion of Dog

Religions come in all shapes and sizes
Some good, some not so much.
But what would a religion of dog be like? 
Kind, devoted and loyal, willing to please
And to defend, and be happily conditioned.
These would be the attributes of its followers
But what of the essence of its theological tenants?
Love, eternal vigilance, situational awareness
And of course joy
In a long walk or good play of tug or frisbee.
A religion of dog after all would be grounded
With it’s main focus the here and now,
Maybe not a zen focus
Maybe even more Dionysian,
But certainly within this
The values of family and pack
Would be supreme,
And this after all is not much different
Than all the human religions.
The difference which would make all the difference
Would have more to do with the wag.

(9/8/25)

Jetpack Royale

Flying past the hillsides,
flying pat the bays,
flying past the cabin
where I might just like to say.
Flying past the tall trees,
branches scrape my feet,
’tis the finest jetpack
you can buy with money.

Ain’t no toil,
in my jetpack royal,
my view is unspoiled
in my jetpack royal,
so high the blood boils
in my jetpack royal,
the schemes that I’ll foil
in my jetpack royal.

Flying through the cities,
over the suburbs,
flying past the park where
kids by swings wait their turn.
Flying over mountains,
past the birds of prey,
the eagles give strange looks
then dive out of my way!

Ain’t no toil,
in my jetpack royal,
my view is unspoiled
in my jetpack royal,
so high the blood boils
in my jetpack royal,
the schemes that I’ll foil
in my jetpack royal.

Oh, free flying,
so high and free,
I wish you had
a jetpack like me.
If I had cash
I’d buy you one,
we’d soar up high
and have too much fun!

Ain’t no toil,
in my jetpack royal,
my view is unspoiled
in my jetpack royal,
so high the blood boils
in my jetpack royal,
the schemes that I’ll foil
in my jetpack royal.

DARK SYMPHONIES

DARK SYMPHONIES   

Tuned frogs and crickets,
Challenging my ear’s scorings:
Last night’s symphonies:-

Drugs

My parents gave me love and hugs
and told me just say no to drugs.
Now, this is really just a guess,
but if I'm talking to drugs,
then I think I've said "Yes"!

No - Scared

There once was a robot with a fixed stare
That met a lion on the thoroughfare. 
     When faced with the real thing
     Its poor heart went ‘ting’
As he repeated on a loop, ‘No. Scared.’

Hahahahaha

hahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahaha hahaha hahaha haha
haha
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahaha hahaha
haZionists
cheat and lie
commit genocide then cry
then here they are
poetry crimes
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
even the bible told you lies
no one is really listening
illusions in the sky

More to come

Pragmatic Position

Proud poets parade playful wordy wit, 
Their careful craft becomes just diddly s..t. 
No matter how hard we may try 
Can’t outdo IQ of AI. 
Shall we hoist the white flag and run with it?! 

Digital era deemed undignified, 
As bright grey matter becomes atrophied. 
Before the mindset goes awry, 
We shall eschew diddly AI -
Its fatuous facade is dead inside!

JUST RIGHT, In Two Parts

College Before Family, 1982
My pen just writes
My dog just bites
My wife just fights
And I just might
Decide everything’s alright.

Empty Nest, 2025
Life didn’t quite yield that plight
Because the pen barely writes
The pups play fight
The kids had height
Were polite
And actually bright
The wife’s a delight
Most days and nights
My life might be trite,
And I’m good with this slight rewrite.

Monkey Man

Oh please don't spank your monkey my friend 

Your animosity has no end

Much like flogging a dog

You keep flogging your log

First you spank it, then spank it again

I guess all the ladies swim breast stroke!

cold water swimmers
have got a VERY apt name
they're called 'The BlueTits'

ETERNAL STATE

ETERNAL STATE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brain cells fade like stars at dawn's first light.
Skin cells age, too, losing their youthful flexibility and might.

Hair cells, once proud, now surrender their strands, and
even their vibrant hues lose to time's unyielding hands.

So, why amidst this cycle do fat cells have a different fate?
No matter my age they seem to have an annoying eternal state.

Only the Strong Survive

Stopped at the rest stop with my friend Seth,

He just made the restroom, out of breath!

Came out gasping for air,

Yo Bud!...Don't go in there!

This "Turlet" has the foul smell of "Death!"


I thought I'd sniff about..just for fun!

The pungence hit...and my head just spun!

Bordering on manic,

Seth was in a panic!

Yo Bud!...Could you PLEASE call 9-1-1?

Gordon the Guy Gorgon

Watching this show sure got me itchin'

Anxious chefs were sweatin' and twitchin'

Gordon's not always fair

Sometimes, wild as his hair

One more seasoning of Hell's Kitchen

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Poems Related to Humorous

amusing, comic, entertaining, facetious, funny, hilarious, joke, joking, laugh, laughing, ludicrous, merry, playful, pleasant, priceless, side splitting, witty, whimsical