Humorous Poems | Examples of Humorous Poetry

The Indian guru's mantra of the day, tho' somewhat strange, goes this way... 'When words fail and at a loss, contemplate aural hygiene with transcendental floss.' ...

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Tho' not with a dagger in the library nor candlestick in the conservatory someone done the dirty deed and yet of bodies none were found perhaps the evidence had been concealed interred deep down underground so no one's doing time it was eventually revealed for the heinous crime of thuggery and skullduggery terrible as it may be where the skeletons are buried only the gravedigger knows and after...

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A sleazy greedy cheating single-minded lying used car salesman with ambition had higher aspiration hopes of a top managerial position altho' customer trust was a must as the fast-talking low-life archetype his focus was on moving their money into his pocket with one fell swipe so to move as much merchandise as a man can possibly do while on rota to meet his quota he'd advertise...

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They were all out standing in their field with an ass or two and a few moose along with a stray Canadian goose when someone let the Appaloosas loose not a welcome sight nor pretty view while the moose who cud did slowly chew the well-trained colt did not bolt or even buck to shuck us the goose didn't give a honk or...

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Buxom Barbara burned her bra never again lift and separate or cross your heart to contemplate she likes to feel her bosom counts when flouncing down the boulevard Barb now snags more bounce to the ounce abroad in the world without a single care it never fazed her one bit nor a whit when this would jounce most men to stop and stare as...

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Thor, chief of thunder, so grand, Tried to fix a small toaster by hand. With Mjolnir's great might, He blew out the light, "This 'appliance'," he boomed, "I don't understand!" ©bfa031625 ...

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She's two fish swimming in opposite directions and physically incapable of answering my questions always on the stick's wrong end yet not to harp or carp but I'm forever on the opposite that which is pointed sharp would I enquire of the right one it's the left natator who replies with something unrelated from out of yonder wild blue skies and not knowing which will respond altho' I...

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Jackson Pollock (1912 - 1956) They say a picture may paint a thousand words but I can't read what he wrote household paint poured onto a horizontal surface ain't what I call works of note splashed with no pre-planned end-result for art's sake to me does not art make known for his 'drip technique' yes he was a drip and no mistake yet a...

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The wheels fell off my thingamajig as a thingy came loose in the whachamacallit or perhaps it was the doodad on the wotsit which was the cause to stall it and it'll take a few odds 'n' sods plus a new doodah and some hoo-ha to make the gizmo or doohickey go again so not to take the mickey but prep the whole whoop-de-do to look like new I'll probably...

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Too many tiny minds telling others what to do the sighted led by the blind even tho' they can't do it too curtailing all creativity restraining imagination destroying individuality those who can don't need advising those who can't should stop supervising let me make my own mistakes it's the only way I'll know what it takes to get where I need to be so put the key...

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When first I went ten-pin bowling was in a league of my own tho' hot to trot my score was shot splits and gutterballs set the tone my opponent bowled professionally outclassed before I'd begun she demonstrated then remonstrated “It's not 'only a game' to some!” tho' bet my set I'd met my match when playing each frame for a round looked like I'm paying...

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Altho' 'tis something any sane man would disdain, should abstain from and abhor, there are those I condemn who choose to cry, 'Mayhem!' and let loose the dogs of war. Meanwhile, no need to think twice, I prefer a 'purr', to play nice and release, tho' they may be old hat, the pussy-cats of peace. ...

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I'm on an island marooned a lonely castaway beached at the waterline launching bottles out to sea abandoned high and dry my boat went down it ran aground but wait what's that I see can it be a footprint in the sand someone to lend a hand my ship's come in it's at the quay no more sending signals from the shore the weekend's here to rescue me ...

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As some Indians (dot, not feather) go to great lengths to ingratiate themselves by obsequious behaviour (bob your head if you agree with me) could it be the origin of the expression, 'To curry favour'? Tho' hunger knows no bounds forget the fatted calf despite the nation suffering from starvation by more than half they'll curry a horse but not a cow those bovine ungulates are holier than thou ...

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Early in a damp woodsman's camp seeing sawyers from a logging town to stop the conversation bogging down as asked my age among other things I replied, 'Cut off my head and count the rings,' then had to be quick-witted and fast-footed made a bee-line through the trees so as not to lose my noggin when a burly lumberjack grabbed his axe I ducked...

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