Love Humorous Poems

Upon the pond, where lilies float,
Two ducks did meet, each fine of coat.
Their feathers gleamed ‘neath gilded light,
And thus began their feath’ry fight.
Quoth Drake to...

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Don't want an attorney I have no defense
for I am ready before any jury to publicly confess
Before you judge me and condemn me cold
I plea...

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Many British thermal units* later

Vice linkedin to carnal flesh this writer, 
(a married heterosexual doofus, – 
whose alter egos 
named and highlighted courtesy 
Gallant and...

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You shouldn’t ‘ve said that, bite your tongue
You said I look old, but you know I’m still young
If ever a wiz a wiz there is...

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Anointed by God to rule the land
Yet brags where he places his molesting hand
Let us love one another, all children of God
Yet puts proxies before...

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The fine art of making excuses

which achievement, deportment,
endorsement, and indictment
(more serious than rigging an election)
jump/kickstarts (a divine comedy of errors)
not reason enough
to be deported),
but necessitates...

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Hey, driver, I just want you to know
That somebody loves you here below
But if you keep driving the way you do
Too fast to heaven you...

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I love her looks and lovely lips,
The light her sweet smile brings,
And how she speaks and sways her hips--
She flits and floats as if with...

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Acne Nightmare

Pizza face pizza face,
whatcha gonna do?
With a face like that,
just who could love you.

Pizza face pizza face,
where ya gonna run?
With a face like that,
you...

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Side A
Time’s Effect On Us 
(Noway & Back)
Produced by I M Sorry

Side B
But You’re Still In My Dreams
(Night & Tears)
Produced by R U Leaving

Recorded by...

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It was a balmy night by the sea
the bar wasn't empty, nor was it full
I was on my 5th whiskey sour
it matched my mood
some days...

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Guess What? Let us have a little talk
Take a walk and know the winter thoughts
 There is some time left to feel
the sweet essence of...

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up from the east
rose the sun for a feast
with the moon who was still up at dawn
the two for a banquet 
upon a tartan blanket
and...

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Defecation accidentally clogged...

for the umpteenth time 
during spate to sit scrawny buttucks 
on porcelain throne id est 
videre licet toilet bowl...
with toxic water brew threatening
to...

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When I Was One-and-Twenty
A. E. Housman

When I was one-and-twenty 
       I heard a wise man say, 
“Give crowns and...

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