Graduation Humorous Poems | Examples

These Graduation Humorous poems are examples of Humorous poems about Graduation. These are the best examples of Humorous Graduation poems written by international poets.

When Len traveled to Oklahoma

to obtain a ranching diploma

a bull butted him hard

out in the training yard

and he but earned a hematoma.



... CayCay
July 25, 2019
State Limerick Contest

© CayCay Jennings  

Students wear a mortarboard for graduation
Not a deerstalker like Sherlock Holmes
If they did, I would have to tip my hat
To those with such discriminating domes!

If you are a fireman, chef, or police
You  always must wear the appropriate hat
Are you bad or good with a hat black or white,
Or are just cowboy hats distinct like that?

Not many wear a trapper like Elmer Fudd
Or a nifty coonskin cap like Daniel Boone
Some wear a Beanie or knitted when cold
I just hope they don't wear them too soon!

For safety, a hard hat or helmet will do
A beret or pillbox sure won't help with that
As for me I most recently shaved my head
But decided to keep it under my hat!

© Pat Adams  

Sniper hid vapors
tend to always bullet strike
with stealth air carrier accuracy

Silent noxious assault
pierced the nostrils
with oxy painful inhalation,
of the non-ventilated third degree 

Deadly gaseous arrows
hit the overcrowded banquet room target;
and killed a-many healthy appetites,
with an alarming, 
depressed tongue rate-of-mortality

Hurried footsteps exiting
is all the flatulent evidence I would need
to likewise proceed  ... very quickly

Some intestinal terrorist
was dropping 
lite ranch dressing bowel bombs,
most heavily

And the near-suicidal rush to escape
has gag damaged many throats,
most  indiscriminately

I don’t cruelly mean to turbo fan 
butt-of-joke rumors
with word-of-mouth rapidity

But ... it really was
a silent butt deadly graduation affair
And I say this,
with the utmost, stiff upper-lip respect:
Scented air peace
from an anonymous tip identity

This upwardly mobile yuppie —  
Troll emoji catphish-ing bottom feeder
harbors no low-brow,
high school dropout insensitivity

© Freddie Robinson Jr.  

If you don’t wanna flunk public school,
you gotta know the unwritten rules
And rule one: listen to your parents
Get your sleepy head out of bed
	and go to school
They will supply you with the necessary tools
Obeying your parents is the last rule as well
Heed this rule and you won't fail
Rule two is similar to the first: listen to your teachers
Let it sink into your empty head
	what they’re trying to teach you
And do your homework before you go to bed
The third rule is tricky, 
it trips a lot of school kids up
	So don’t you fall for the okey-doke
Don’t listen to everything your friends say,
			if you do, oh boy are you gonna pay
Either after school detention 
or home stay-in-the-house suspension
Yeah, and those same friends will be laughing at you
One more rule, 
	one more thing you should know
Keep your eyes in the books,
and not on the opposite sex
You got plenty of time in your life after graduation for that
Well, that about sums it ... what, hey ... why are you late?
		Tardy again, 
caught skipping school
	Kid, you’re gonna flunk out for sure,
	because you ain’t gonna know the rules,
or follow them even if you do

© Freddie Robinson Jr.  

Brat Who Is Spoiled

Out next President is not very bright
With orange hair and rouge is such a sight
And to all of us what seems so scary
He has such a horrible vocabulary.

If it wasn't for computer spell check
Many words were not spelled correct
And something we have contemplated
For four years he should be sedated.

Is best to keep Trump out of our way
Never knows right thing to say anyway
And can you imagine him being sent
To speak at graduation or sporting event.

Down country Trump is sure to drag
Can you imagine him saluting our flag
For President others tried and toiled
We ended up with brat who is spoiled.

He ikes eating bratwurst and it the worst
brat we have ever seen. Plump Trump
we should try to dump. He might like
acting part of Forrest Gump.

Jim Horn

If in Baton Rogue he should start batting
down the hatches and do it by the batches.

© James Horn  

Reading my son’s graduation dinner menu
It filled me with consternation
Will I make a foolish choice …
I’m full of trepidation

My favourite dessert is on the list
It’s stiffie cockie pudding
Oops – there I go I meant sticky toffee pudding
If I make my spoonerism – I hope and pray it will be missed!!

My first poem posted here is called ‘Just Desserts’ and is a true story. When I read my son’s graduation dinner menu I just HAVE to order this pudding – wish me luck on the day!!!!

6th June 2016

© Jan Allison  

Two old codgers were talking about sex
And ones question popped up next
This Viagra have you tried
For me I can't decide
Mm, that's a hard one,what a subject 




.

© James Fraser  

You almost had me,
I wanted you,
The way you stuck to me like super glue,
I was feeling you,
But I knew,
I could never have you,
But, the way you looked at me,
The way my body pleads,
We can never be,
Because I’m too old,
And your only thirteen.

© Anthony Scandrick Ii