Christmas Humorous Poems | Examples
These Christmas Humorous poems are examples of Humorous poems about Christmas. These are the best examples of Humorous Christmas poems written by international poets.
May your annual commemoration
of the winter solstice
with one of the Earth's poles
at its maximum tilt from the sun
be abundant with innumerable manifestations
of felicity friends good food and fun
and may the next full circuit
of the ecliptic engender
a propensity toward
bestowing plenteousness too
and may unparalleled prosperity
be forthcoming
and settle like snowflakes
gently upon you
Categories:
christmas, fun, humorous, silly,
Give me a kiss under the mistletoe
as
Christmas comes but once a year
gathering friends and family near
and
if X is a kiss is kissmas a word
if it is it’s the sweetest I’ve heard
X marks the spot now Christmas is here
peaceful joyful and full of good cheer
I’ll give you a kiss here under the mistletoe
as
Christmas is the time for giving
bringing good will a time for living
so
let’s put the X in Xmas
with a kiss for Christmas on Christmas Day
fare that's fine hot spiced wine
and a thought for loved ones
so far away
Categories:
christmas, fun, humor, humorous,
Scots golfers do not 'golf'
as they say in the U.S.A.
invented in Scotland
it's as they ought
a sport the Scottish play
the first tennis player
known by name
(Louis X)
did not 'tennis'
when he played the game
even so I may one day
bend my elbow
consider the racket
and give it a go
looks like the language
is slowly downward drifting
and come this Christmas
you won't see me 'gifting'
when did a noun become a verb
misconjugated by ignorant clowns
as English is oft Yanked and twisted
by illiterate dimwits verbing nouns
Categories:
golf, humorous, sports, usa,
the silver birch
it likes to hide
so as you search
at eventide
you find it there with many friends
playing poker through the night
the common oak
a wise old man
an aging folk
since time began
grandfathers of the forest they
speak myth and folklore when they can
the sycamore
with helicopter seeds
sets out its store
among the weeds
then grows to be big and strong
from people’s picnics on which it feeds
the horse chestnut
is the conker tree
the children’s favourite
but too spikey
until they are ready later on
and why kids were late home for tea
the yew
is old
and grew
so slow
its age is in millennia
and battles from the archer’s bow
the hawthorn
its blossom white
and at dawn
as if it snowed all night
then all too soon the white has gone
a desperate case of bad stage fright
the conifer
fir, spruce and pine
a regular
likes mead and wine
to keep it warm in winter then
comes into homes at Christmas time
Categories:
fun, funny, humorous, light,
What's going on with Mike and Molly
They built their house in boughs of holly
But when Christmas arrived
And no holly survived
We called it Mike and Molly's folly
Categories:
humorous,
Snow is rain
with a playful
chill -- gaily
floating, gliding
bored with a ping
and a spill --
children, likewise
though fond of a dip and
a stroke, also love to run, jump
and sled down
a
frosty
slippery
slope --
Categories:
humorous, childhood, children, christmas, fun,
Poor Rudolph had a broken leg. It happened on the day
he was to lead the reindeer with Santa on his sleigh.
They say it was an accident, but somehow I have doubt
‘Cause the other jealous reindeers wanted Rudolph out
They tripped him up with tinsel. They’d hoped he’d bash his nose.
I heard it on the grapevine, that’s the way the story goes
But Rudolph he was limping and the reindeer guys felt bad.
They didn’t really mean it. They were really very sad.
So they said that they were sorry for causing him such pain
And promised in the future, he could lead the herd again
So Rudolph, he forgave them and I’m very glad to say
He lights the way for Santa on every Christmas Day.
Categories:
christmas, forgiveness, humorous, nonsense,
A unique Christmas time for Santa Claus,
fiftieth year of journey without pause.
All gifts he stacks in the cart,
gets ready to soon depart,
he feels for a mishap there is no cause.
On snow-covered track Rudolph runs inspired,
chilled wind on the face, Santa feels he’s tired.
He spots bench in sunny park,
rests there after night’s hard work.
Soon slips into deep sleep though undesired.
Mistaking Santa’s snoring as some blast,
Rudolph thinks danger has arrived at last.
Lets Santa snooze, darts away
with gifts rattling in the sleigh.
Santa wakes up, along the trail runs fast.
Categories:
christmas, humorous,
I saw an object
way-up high --
analysis, no UFO
no drone, told my
supervisor, no need
for the military red-phone.
Again:
I saw a sled
way up-high --
and knew only one
had clearance to fly,
so, as an air-traffic-controller,
forewarned, I had to quickly
adjust, reindeer’s not equipped
with jet avoidance thrust --
No take offs! No landings!
grounded, planes forced to
stand-by, but one impatient pilot
on his own, decided to give it a try
well, rained down stuffed bears
and little Timmy's toy boat; reminded
were all that only Macy Santa's
float -- Clause landed in a
a nearby barnyard, still wearing his
splattered signature coat, tearfully clutching
antlers, startled the 'jeebies out of a pair of
mating goat' --
Categories:
christmas, fantasy, holiday, humorous,
Santa, Elf and Rudolph argued about -
Whose charisma Christmas can’t do without.
Santa bragged all human kind
Loves him as a mastermind.
Elfy turned green, Rudolph pouted his snout.
Elfy then struck a pose: “A cocky claim!
Despite the fact that all elves look the same,
Our gifts and toys are diverse
All around the Universe -
To rate our role just second best? For shame!”
Rudolph pranced on his dignity with pride,
Took his conceited co-workers aside.
Explained that without his sleigh
Gifts won’t see the light of day.
Neigh! And off he flounced for a joyful ride!
Categories:
christmas, humorous,
There is a moment every single year
Such a joyful one without a tear
The tree is up, the food purchased
Delivered present, friends embraced
With time taken out for those in need
Those family visits all now agreed
The moment comes without TV
It happens when nobody else can see
It's silent and peaceful open hearted
You've eaten sprouts, then you farted!
Categories:
humorous, 9th grade, christmas, funny,
In "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens
there are four notable ghosts or apparitions;
and of that quartet of wondrous ghosts
the Ghost of Christmas Presents is the one I like the most!
Categories:
christmas, humorous,
There must be a way to enjoy Christmas Day
But not fill my belly with food
Most years I eat till I’m fit to explode
But this year I’m not in the mood
My wife said she thought I might like a hot sausage
Which sounded a little bit rude
She said, “Just try this, it’s so warm and inviting.”
I said, “Now you’re just being crude.”
Impatiently huffing, she suggested stuffing
It seems that my wife is quite lewd
She asked if I fancied some leg or some breast
I kept schtum, which I thought might be shrewd
I gave in and asked for a nice fruity tart…”
And she yelled, “To what do you allude?”
I said, like a chump, “Okay, give me some rump.”
And frankly, I knew I was screwed!
Categories:
christmas, food, humorous,
What the Dickens! Santa ain't wearing knickers
well his pants got caught inside the chimney
now here's the kicker...
Little Joe woke up in the middle of the night
and gave Santa such a jolly fright
now here's the kicker...
It was drafty there wasn't any gas nor heat
Mrs. Chump snored upstairs like dead meat
now here's the kicker...
Mr. C was 5 feet tall and wasn't a Clause at all
he didn't know how to rob Peter to pay Paul
now here's the kicker...
The real Ms. C owned a solar panel, Oh what fun
gave it to Ming Ming who flew like a Son Of A Gun!
now here's the kicker... Eh !
He burned Santa's pants then laughed, giggled, scoffed
but as Santa danced around the sun poured in the loft
now here's the real kicker...
Christmas was a blast now little Joe C could finally be,
toasty as a glow worm in a house built for three.
Merry Christmas Everyone !
Love,
From Santa's Girl :)
Categories:
analogy, christmas, home, humorous,
Heading into Bethlehem ...
Three Wise Men,
In search of a stable.
Heading out of Bethlehem ...
Three Wise Turkeys,
While they were - still able.
Categories:
humorous, christian, christmas, fun, humor,