Birthday Humorous Poems

Jill and Bill went up the hill
for a little mid-day thrill.
	Nine months to the day,
	you pay if you play.
Jill had not been on the pill!!
...

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“You’ll live,” my mother prompts;
above my screams, which pierced
the air with strident oomph;
she, bandaging my wounds.

It happened as I traipsed
the woods; I fell amongst
a pile...

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Could there be anything sweeter,
than our little dog named Fartina,
I wanted to see less of wretched in-laws,
they no longer come over because,
the gaseous funky green...

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     Happy Birthday to me
       Say bye to seventy-three

     I’m seventy-four...

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Running with terror onto the lawn,
they gathered outside my house,
along with me and the birthday “boy,” my spouse.
No more celebrating in the dining room would...

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Captain kuni-lemel graduate strikes again - updated

Steely Dan sing queen (me)
outdid himself on sixtieth anniversary 
after Grahame Wood 
determined to meet 
the evolving needs of...

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                        ...

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If, into my future, I get a sudden chance to peep
I'd choose my ninety-fourth birthday hoping am still alive;
My mother left us at that ripe...

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January 13th 2024 - Happy Lxv-th birthday Matthew Scott Harris

date of conception:?  ~ Late March – mid April 1958.
date of parturition: January xiii, mcmlix.
date...

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a drop of fossilized tree resin
incasing a prehistoric ant
sold by auction on the internet
informed of this delightful offering, bidding gets outrageous

a drop of fossilized tree...

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Alfie was the first son of a billionaire
Who bought a golden cradle for his son and heir
There was no expense that daddy wouldn’t spare
And perforated...

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Yours truly would never be confused for a gourmand, nevertheless I could enjoy experiencing taste testing select food samples if offered an opportunity of attending...

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Dream state yields deep sleep personifications

Upon lying supine - eye shutter lids
into the land of Wynken, Blynken, and Nod,
where the sandman beckons and bids
dead to...

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The ambulance ride only lasted
For 10 minutes.
Delilah was in Labor now
Experiencing strange labor
Sensations. They were orgasms
Dolly didn't want to admit that.
Most of both families swept...

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Happy Lxiv birthday Matthew Scott Harris

date of conception:?  ~ Late March – mid April 1958.
date of parturition: January xiii, mcmlix.
date of expiration:? January i,...

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