Birthday Humorous Poems | Examples
These Birthday Humorous poems are examples of Humorous poems about Birthday. These are the best examples of Humorous Birthday poems written by international poets.
Arrived alive
departed dead
and the same
may be said
of all who tread
this weary world
of ours
less a milestone
more a speed bump
each Birthday
I perceive
and poetry
is but one way to fill
the waning hours for me
Categories:
birthday, death, humorous, silly,
The machine lit up
like a small cathedral—
chrome saints hopping
under glass,
the silver gospel
of the pinball
spinning wild
between my hands.
It was my birthday—
twenty-one—
and free beers
rang up like prayers.
Each flipper slap
a hallelujah,
each tilt shrugged off
in neon glare.
The hours blew away
like cheap confetti.
The undulating sidewalk
tilted just before I did,
and the keyhole
danced just out of reach
while my cat waited,
unimpressed.
I woke up hours later
to my worried cat
meowing and
looking up at me.
I leaned in close
to reassure him—
and showered his head
with vomit, dismayed.
He left his verdict
in my shoes—
a damp reminder,
sharp and clear.
Tail high,
he walked away avenged,
his conscience
undisturbed by guilt.
He eventually
forgave me—
as creatures wiser
than us often do.
I cleaned my shoes,
drank far less beer,
and never puked on
my cat again.
Categories:
humorous, birthday, cat, drink, funny,
Crow (Blackus Menacingus)
large, clever and a scavenger
found in gardens where there’s trees
good at puzzles, can be trained
likes TV shows about celebrities
Blackbird (Blackus Not-A-Pirateus)
common gardeners friend is he
perched on the handle of a spade
looking out for bugs and worms
went on a holiday to Adelaide
Thrush (Not-The-Itchyus Sortus)
light brown plumage with spotted front
easily identifiable medium bird
known for a complex, tuneful song
makes jam tarts with lemon curd
Starling (Impressiveus In-A-Large-Flockus)
iridescent all year bird
feathers change colour in the sun
swarms in huge numbers then
off to the pub for rowdy fun
Wren (Smallus Sticky-Uppy-Tailus)
one of the tiniest garden birds
surprisingly loud and piercing voice
small, round body, quick and gone
to play boardgames and other toys
Puffin (Brightus Beakus)
black and white with colourful bill
dives the water for its food
coastal, cliffside, craggy nest
sends birthday cards that are very rude
Categories:
bird, fun, funny, humorous,
Jill and Bill went up the hill
for a little mid-day thrill.
Nine months to the day,
you pay if you play.
Jill had not been on the pill!!
Categories:
humorous, birth, birthday, fun, funny,
“You’ll live,” my mother prompts;
above my screams, which pierced
the air with strident oomph;
she, bandaging my wounds.
It happened as I traipsed
the woods; I fell amongst
a pile of jagged rocks whilst
reaching for a gem, just glimpsed.
It was my birthday, eighth;
or maybe it was ninth,
and I had always dreamt
to find a gem so scarce.
“Now look, your pants are spoilt,”
she said, without much warmth.
I knew she wasn’t angry,
just a little anxious.
New pants, with money scarce
was for her a problem;
sewing machine - zigzag
soon, the hole was nothing!
Categories:
humorous, mother,
Could there be anything sweeter,
than our little dog named Fartina,
I wanted to see less of wretched in-laws,
they no longer come over because,
the gaseous funky green cloud,
emitting from Fartina makes me so proud.
I dare say we no longer have mice,
who now stay outdoors, how nice.
When Fartina goes to the vet,
it's a sure bet-
the leery vet techs yell, "Fartina's here!"
and the snooty lady in the waiting room
with the poodle holds her nose, oh dear!
At our family birthday party,
Fartina decided to get frankly, farty.
Our guests were all in a dither,
their faces crinkled, then quivered.
Til, lo and behold, a knock on the door,
pesky political solicitors once more!
Well, lovely Fartina took care of that-
a silent savage air biscuit commenced,
and our unwelcome visitors quickly
vaulted over the fence.
These days bad news travels fast,
but the flatulent antics of Fartina
makes laughter last. ~
Categories:
humorous, 5th grade, 6th grade,
Happy Birthday to me
Say bye to seventy-three
I’m seventy-four now
My ox to be gored
Categories:
humorous, birthday, farewell, how i
Running with terror onto the lawn,
they gathered outside my house,
along with me and the birthday “boy,” my spouse.
No more celebrating in the dining room would be going on.
All my guests said bye and left, for simply having seen a mouse!
Categories:
humorous,
.
it's
okay
you were born
smart
honeyee
"eyyeee
i
i think you're
dads' from
uncle billie's
dad's
mother's daughter
in law
we're okay
uh
huh"
Categories:
humorous, first love, happy birthday,
If, into my future, I get a sudden chance to peep
I'd choose my ninety-fourth birthday hoping am still alive;
My mother left us at that ripe age while still in good health,
not live long, but I'd be happy to witness the scene live;
It is not my desire to be a freaky immortal;
From ninety-four, it's Test Cricket, just singles with my bat;
I wish to see what things would be on that momentous day
And to score a grand century is what I'm aiming at;
I need to be ethereally there cutting the cake
With my wife, those who matter, egging me for an encore;
All of us encouraging and back-patting each other
It's what I want to see in future, and what years I score;
My ninety-fourth birthday event is what I want to see,
But I also know that life is cruel and a known tease;
We can never know when and where our breath will be snuffed out
When we shall dance, sing and when our life will come to a cease.
Categories:
humorous, age, desire, fantasy, future,
a drop of fossilized tree resin
incasing a prehistoric ant
sold by auction on the internet
informed of this delightful offering, bidding gets outrageous
a drop of fossilized tree resin
known as amber
causing a huge stir in an auction
Tree Resin3 outbids SpiderMa
Six, eight, ten, twenty-seven times
Neither will relent
They are both determined to purchase this piece of amber
Tree Resin3 reluctantly gives up when it gets out of her price range
A month later she receives this pendant for her birthday
She would have given up much sooner
if she had known….
SpiderMa was her mother
Categories:
humorous,
Bacon and eggs each morning his treat
Chocolate and candy and all that's sweet
No helmet with pedal
No seat belt to meddle
Making eighty years old was no easy feat
Categories:
humorous, age, birthday,
We have traveled to thirty-seven states, the youngster told me.
He is only eight, so this is quite the accomplishment.
I collect one rock from each state, want to see them?
His mother rolls her eyes, as if it is no big deal.
It is a big deal to me; I am also a rock collector.
Sure!
He takes me into his room and pulls a box out from under his bed.
I imagine mica, feldspar, gypsum, glitters of bloodstone and the like.
He opens the lid. The rocks are gray, chalky, and gravel.
“Which one came from Tennessee?” I ask him.
He says “I have absolutely no idea, but aren’t they amazing?”
I think I’ll get him a bag of gravel for his birthday.
Categories:
humorous, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Merlin cast a special spell and made a telephone
The speaker was quite dodgy and he had a little moan
But still he made one more for making phone calls from his wagon
Then conjured up another one for young Arthur Pendragon
He took a call and recognised King Arthur’s crackling tone
Merlin couldn’t make him out and muttered down the phone
Sorry, Boss, I’m at a loss, my phone I heard it ring
But ever since I answered it I cannot here a thing
Arthur said again the thing that Merlin had to do
And Merlin shook his head, “My Lord, I am not hearing you.”
When Arthur spoke a final time as clearly as he could
Merlin was at last quite certain that he’d understood
Arthur cut the call just as Queen Guinevere was passing
She said what was all that about, you know I’ll keep on asking
Arthur said I told the man as clear as I was able
That for your birthday I require a really fine brown sable
***
With her present sorted all the knights were sat around
And Merlin said she’s coming don’t nobody make a sound
Guinevere walked in as Merlin stroked his lucky cat
And when she saw the table she said, ‘What the …. .. ….
Categories:
history, humorous,
*Image of Gender Gap by TLNT.
Parity Parody
I was just twenty, was young and healthy, and I said let's dance,
Turned to you Big Ben, said, first kiss say when, you said not a chance.
I was now thirty, I played a small bit, sort of a big hit,
They made me a clown, the small kids attacked, Pennywise from IT!
I planned at forty, thought to be sporty, got you a "Hottie"
Till out of the cake, in his birthday suit, grandson went potty.
I knew at fifty, what do I get for one with everything,
That's when you said a set of Bone China, two cats from Beijing.
I had turned sixty, said you're pretty, but I said something dumb,
Turned where glass is, eyes like molasses, I said you're wearing them!
2022 August 15
Categories:
analogy, funny love, humorous,