Adults Humorous Poems | Examples

These Adults Humorous poems are examples of Humorous poems about Adults. These are the best examples of Humorous Adults poems written by international poets.


Thinking You Are Alpha When You Are Mr Bean

Treating me like I’m lucky to know you 
when you are so lowly I’d rather be lonely 
here is a treat that I’m happy to show you 
you’re in my life and then do not know me 

deluding yourself in the view of your ego 
believing your better when you’re not my equal 
not saying I’m good but you are just evil 
thinking you’re better than all other people 

the world is a forest and you are a gibbon 
you see very little when senses sense within 
oblivious to all whilst selfishly driven 
you think you’ve got talent you must be kidding 

a child walking where adults are found 
unaware of what is found all around 
believing yourself through words you sound 
challenging people that will knock you down 

the ignorant bliss that you use as a shield 
you’re French at Agincourt found dead in a field 
what you have’s visible and clearly revealed 
you’re mentally ill with belief you are skilled

offering nothing but a personal dream 
of something you’re not and have never been 
of someone you think you are nobody’s seen 
thinking you’re alpha when you’re Mr. Bean!
© Nick Trim  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: hip hop, humorous, rap,

Premium MemberThe Donkey of Destiny


The Donkey of Destiny

The party was set, the guests were invited,
The adults were happy, the kids all excited.
All going to plan; the hosts were delighted,
Then the Donkey of Destiny brayed – he-haw!
The Donkey of Destiny brayed.

The Board of Directors set forth their campaign,
To conquer their industry, supremely reign,
To guarantee ultimate financial gain,
Til the Donkey of Destiny brayed – he-haw!
The Donkey of Destiny brayed.

Military leaders made their decision,
Troops were deployed with painstaking precision.
Soon they would realise their tactical vision,
Then the Donkey of Destiny brayed – he-haw!
The Donkey of Destiny brayed.

To amuse the young children, a day out was planned,
Buckets and spades and sunshine and sand.
Ice-cream and fish-and-chips; seaside brass band,
But the Donkey of Destiny brayed – he-haw!
The Donkey of Destiny brayed.

There’s nothing as fickle as Destiny’s Donkey,
Capricious as weather, and sly as a monkey,
Be certain that everyone’s hopes will turn funky,
When the Donkey of Destiny brays – he-haw!
When the Donkey of Destiny brays.
Categories: destiny, humor, humorous, metaphor,

Premium MemberSummer Is Wasted On the Young

As a parent I drool
To send kids back to school.

Far too much frantic fun 
Drains me shallow, no pun.

Rowdy, raucous ransack
Leaves calm space out of whack.

Summer - precious and short -
For adults I’d retort .

Hot spot, wasted away 
On young - I dare to say.

Blatant truth to be told - 
Schools should shut in the cold.

For all we care or know 
Children thrive in the snow.


August 22, 2022
Categories: humorous,

New Candy

Willie Wonka made new candy
It tasted like a mouth full of Brandi
Adults kept buying their share
Had their noses in the air
It gave them a feel of fancy
© Daisy Ward  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: fun, humorous,

Premium MemberThe Robbery

I visit you in dreams, 
and my visit is always unexpected.
I’m always excited and more 
than a little apprehensive.
.
In dream variations, your reactions shuffle 
like poker cards - you’re surprised and pleased, 
or wary, or even politely disappointed.
.
Dreams can be a harsh mirror and as in real life,
my emotions are poorly protected.
.
Brushstrokes of truth hide behind the
tricksy falsehoods of dream-scapes. After all,
I’m an unworthy suitor in practically every way.
.
In the real world, I’m sure early, favorable
impressions would fade to inevitable boredom.
I have that effect on adults - I’ve seen it
- a quick nod and I’m invisible.
.
I should be a bank robber - “What did the
robber look like?” the police would ask.
“Well... the teller would say,” fading off to vagueness.
.
I could stand right there looking at my phone.

“Did YOU see anything?” The cop would ask me.
“I was playing candy crush...” I’d begin,
but the cop would walk distractedly away.
.
By the time they got the video evidence, I’d be long gone.
Categories: humorous, 11th grade, angst, dream,

Premium Member4 Random Thoughts

(3 Haikus)

Immature - is a
word boring people use to
describe fun people

I should start a book,
a thick notebook to keep
inappropriate thoughts

Ever look at friends
and think, "Wow, we're gonna 
be some weird adults?"

Sleep is my drug, my
bed is the dealer, my clock 
the cops and school the jail.
Categories: 11th grade, friend, humorous,

Premium MemberWarning Bawdy Limerick For Adults

There once was a young hooker named Claudey
Her laughter was exceedingly bawdy
The johns did not mind
Her breasts were so fine
Lacy panties were sexy and gaudy

On Tuesday she met a young priest named Joe
He paid his money and gave it a go
His collar came off
And Claudey did scoff
Being a mean-spirited little ‘ho.
Categories: humorous,

Clean Your Room

It was fun 
When I was young.
As I grew older it became more of a chore
That adults will not ignore.
Most of my stuff is attached to my heart strings
I can't keep my eyes from watering.
I simply can't bring myself to put anything on
The outside of my bedroom door
Furthermore
Here's a flash!
My stuff's not trash. It's my stash.
Who knows, if I keep it long enough it could end
Up on some museum floor
Greatly adored for evermore.
Categories: humorous, adventure, conflict, education, emotions,

We Lie To Kids

We lie to children as we teach them not to lie
a man in a red suit and his reindeer fly the sky

that chocolate egg was delivered by a bunny
and we don’t say how the baby got into mummy 

A tooth fairy left them money in the night
you have to admit we say all sorts of shight 

But as they grow, they learn, realise the truth,
soaking up knowledge of how the world works, 
as adults they know you bull hit the youth,
and be fake superficial dishonest jerks.

As a child it’s called reality,
as an adult it’s called insanity, 
but we allow the kids to have this magic, 
because we know their teenage years will be tragic
© Nick Trim  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: humorous,

Snow Angels

As children
a snow angel was
a lovely
shape made by
joyful, flapping jumping jacks
on your back in snow

As adults
a snow angel is
someone who
rescues you
from grueling grunt work of snow
mountains blown aside

___

This Shadorma form poem was written in heartfelt appreciation of a kind neighbor who saw my snow shoveling misery and rescued me with their snowblower (before this wicked Midwest Winter totally finished me off)!
Categories: community, humanity, humor, humorous,

Premium MemberDandelion Plucking Tool

I am a bright yellow blossom
I spread beauty across the lawn
But, adults consider me a weed
And children play games
Wanting to pop off my head!
I am a Dandelion and deserve respect
I am prettier than muddy snow!
When I turn soft delicate white,
People shake me in the wind!
Do they realize my seeds spread more?
Now here comes a Dandelion plucking tool
                Oh, My!


Heidi Sands

5/17/18
Categories: angst, flower, humorous,

Bedside Prayers

In the quiet that comes from the setting sun
I close my eyes, and hope for sleep
To soothe my soul with prayers to the ONE
As in the prayer, “My soul to keep”

A child would kneel by their bed then say a prayer
A simple little childhood verse
As adults, we can no longer kneel down there
‘Cos getting up ‘thud be much worse!
Categories: humorous, prayer,

Pink

today feels like pinkness. 
pink is girly and pretty,
two things i am not.
grapefruit is reddish/pink
and so is a pig.
piglets are cute,
but they are just as stinky 
as pigs.
pink balloons can float up to space,
where astronauts will pop them
and listen to them cry out
the little pink secrets
we blew into them 
when they were just young.
lips are full of pink.
they make pink pouts
and pink kisses.
teenagers curse in their lips,
and adults curse their teenagers.
pink is a heart, 
but not a real heart.
those are red and blue
and don't break as easy.
Categories: humorous, beautiful, beauty, color, heart,

Premium MemberWould I Lie To You

My advice to my younger self would be  

DON'T believe what adults tell you...

Santa Claus

The Easter Bunny

The Tooth Fairy

Carrots help you see in the dark...


I rest my case!

Contest: What would you say
Sponsor: Alexis Y
10~31~15
Categories: children, humorous, parents, truth,

Intuition of a Politician Poem

Intuition of a Politician Poem

Maybe there is much that I must mention
Like apprehension and intuition of politician
Perfectly confusing and at times all absurd;
What might be meaning of their each word?

Many words can be incredibly confusing
Also mishandled and then are misusing
Not only that being taken advantage of
And perhaps peaceful as a turtle dove.

Politicians still assume at their convention
Among ranks discovered much dissension
Forgot what once was their real intention
And refusing to accept a modern rendition.

In splendid past politicians now are living
And taking much more then ever giving;
Why would politicians write poems anyway?
Cover up ignorance not wanting to display.

My poems must make them perfectly clear
Merry Christmas and have a happy new year
Where have all of the weird politicians went?
And which of the idiots will run for President?

James Thomas Horn
www.story-telling-around-the-world.com
Under Poems for Adults
© James Horn  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: humorous,

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